EBay, Men Named Ben, and My Devil-Horns

Hey everyone,

First thing, the comments on this blog ARE public, and I do not see them until I go to post – they aren’t emailed to me. So, please send all inquiries of a personal nature that you do not want everyone with an internet to see directly to me. Thanks!

So, I have a PERSONAL rant today. Well, its an eBay rant.

As many of you know, I have a serious eBay addiction. I love it. People are like “O, don’t you hate not being able to examine the item before buying?” NO! I love it! I live in the arse-crack of NH, in a place that is considered RURAL by people who would normally be considered rural by everyone else. I mean, 1500-2000 residents in my town AT MOST and we are one of the bigger ones in the area. NO BS. So, where am I supposed to purchase all my supa-fine clothes and neato electronics, and other fun stuff…when I have to drive an hour to even find a Target. So eBay? I LOOOOOVE eBay. I buy everything off of there. I seriously need to join eBay anonymous.

Anyhow, many of you who know me have heard me talk about Little Wayne. About late April or early May, he was in dire need of some boots, and out of the goodness of my heart, I was like “Okay, no more holes in your shoes, I am gonna buy you a nice pair of Merrells.” I picked out several candidates, let him choose from 3, and I paid in good faith, and waited for this lovely charitable gift to come to my home so I could let my friend work with dry feet wearing non-Walmart boots…and then I get this call from a seller named Ben, eBay name, shoezen. I still have the VM message, and it goes something like this:

“Um, I sold my last pair of 10.5s to someone else before the auction ended. But I have 10s and a mens 7.5…so how about one of those…” and goes on to try to sell me a pair of boots 3 sizes too small, and really pimps those 10s, and then keeps spouting about how he sold the boots I purchased to another person, and bla bla bla. Okay, serious abuse of eBay rules. I am pretty annoyed by this point, so I call the number he gives me. Its the wrong number. >:/ Yeah. Okay, so I email him, and say basically you can call me ONLY at this time (I do psychic readings, so like do you think I have a lot of free phone time? No, I don’t,) and that if he doesn’t have 10.5s we can discuss him reordering the shoes and sending ’em late to me or a refund. He waits until literally the last minute I have free. Then he keeps trying to sell me the mens size 10…

…Okay, I am a reasonable person. My feet are respectively Left: Ladies 8 1/3, and Right: Ladies 8 1/10 about… smaller than an 8.5, but in sneakers and boots I wear an 8.5, and all other high heeled shoes, I always get an 8. So, yep, I realize some people can go wear a mens 10.5 or a 10…it can happen…but in this case it is a mens 10.5 all around no exceptions, and he (Little Wayne) knows how Merrell’s fit. Make the offer to me once, and when it rejected, just REFUND, right? Back to my story…

So “shoezen,” aka Ben, starts WHINING that he has no 10.5s, and I have to take the 10s, etc, etc. I just say, “Listen, short of cutting off this man’s toes a 10 isn’t gonna fit, and I will definitely need to hack them off to fit them into a 7.5. I’m a woman and I think I almost fit into a men’s 7.5. So…you can reorder the Merrells in a 10.5, and I will wait, or else I don’t want a pair of too-small boots. I’ll just consider it a SNAFU on your end, and have my money back.”

He gets all huffy and goes, “I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO GIVE YOU A REFUND THEN! I’m SOOOO SORRY that I sold your boots to someone else, but I didn’t know you’d win the auction! I’ll just GIVE YOU A REFUND THEN!”

I was pretty shocked that he would be so rude, but I was like “I guess you have to, considering selling an item you don’t have is a clear violation of eBay rules.” And I hung up. I deal with enough freaked out people in any given day, and I really don’t take babyish crap like that well. If you’ve ever dealt with me, I’ll refund you for a freaking package being late, I don’t think its a huge thing…just something called customer service.

Then I wait for my refund. And then I wait longer. And then I wait some more. Then I contact eBay because apparently they needed to be called in to deal with this f*ckwheat. Then I get this refund WICKED LATE, and a little note from him saying, “I’m sorry if you were dissatisfied with your purchase.” What purchase? I didn’t get anything to be dissatisfied with! I paid you to be a c*ckmuncher to me and then hold $100 of mine as long as you pleased until eBay squeezed it back out of you and back to me. 😉 Wow, what a psycho, right? Let me tell ya, I DO NOT leave negative feedback unless the most direst of circumstances and worst of sellers happens, and in this case I DID leave negative feedback…in early MAY.

But it gets better. So last night, your favorite occult mastermind, was leaving some positive f/b for a mentally normal seller, and I was like… Woah, this is one point short on my f/b score. What the hey? Did I act like a jerk to someone? (I couldn’t recall doing anything bad.) So, I thought…maybe someone left me f/b meant for someone else. I will check and see and no doubt this can be fixed because its a booboo.

OH

MY

GOD

(-) not our fault if size marked on box not same as what’s inside.
Seller shoezen( 22229)

WTF, yes it is – its YOUR problem at the least! And how would you know the size was wrong on the box unless you looked? I certainly never even saw boots in a right OR a wrong size…never saw or received a DAMN THING from you. And then also, why on earth would you tell me you sold the 10.5s to someone else if it was all a packaging SNAFU, which was never ever what was said to me? And then why did you not refund me until I forced you to? And why did you not just refund and I would have left a (+) and a “refunded promptly after sizing mistake” or something, instead of being a TOTAL PRICK over the whole thing? And why are you leaving this 3 months after the fact? Did you have one too many drinks and decide to tell bad lies about me because your wife wouldn’t lay you when you stink like whiskey? Cuz, if she’s being a cold fish, that’s my dept, give me a heads up and I can help, but SHOES and BOOTS and eBay are your dept, and you are the one at fault!! Did you run out of your medication last night?

Anyhow, I contacted eBay. I had saved his voice message, so basically he’s screwed his own self. I will make his life a living hell through all legal means I have available to me until I get that silly lie removed, so don’t any of y’all worry. But…for real people, WTF!?! Some of you have had the misfortune to see me annoyed – scary isn’t it? Seriously, I have to get those devil-horns removed or something. None of you have ever seen or heard me be completely pissed off. Okay, Brian, maybe you (when discussing the other Ben, or even Little Wayne no less, heh heh,) but not even you have seen it at the 7th level of Hell explosive level. Its pretty much there in regards to this guy. I am going to take a bite out of his soul…until the f/b is removed.

I can take a complaint when its deserved. If I effing suck, then honestly tell the world how I effing suck. I am so far from being perfect, that I’ve no doubt there is a long list of ways I effing suck…but if you are gonna bring it, bring it with honesty. And what is it with me and men named Ben? Do they all have some sort of psychosis when it comes to me?

So, okay…that’s all. Wow, did I need to vent. Let’s all curse shoezen and have a nice day now, eh? Heh heh heh. Also, look him up on eBay, and send him messages to tell him we all know he sucks if you are feeling childish and need to release some of that. He also runs ShoeZen.com, and though I have the email for that one, I will be nice and not list it…but if you feel as pathetic and childish as he does, then let him know he’s a nut, I will laugh my bum off and love you even more for it. 😉 No, I don’t expect you to do any harrassing, but if you did and you told me about it, I would laugh so hard…not that I condone harrassing people, because I don’t…but…I would still laugh…and then tell you that you are bad…and then I would laugh again…heh heh heh.

And I still love eBay, but I will love ’em more when that f/b (hopefully,) gets removed. 😀

~Catress