Hi Occulties,
I am here today to talk about 3 things that should NOT go hand in hand…and that is obsessive behavior love, and love spells. This is NOT by any means a finite example of problematic love affairs and love spells, but hopefully some help to you.. Okay, homies, lets begin.
Firstly, I would like to take a moment and tell all of you that yes, I have been incredibly hung up on a non-responsive party before, and yes, I was intent on making that person MINE…but, this is not totally what I am talking about… It is one thing to want a person, it is entirely another to have that be the sole focus of one’s life to the point that all other things in one’s life take second place.
Let’s take a hypothetical example. Let’s say that Mary had dated Frank for a year, and then the couple broke up. Frank left Mary with little or no warning for another woman. Four months since the break up, Mary has stopped eating, sits by her phone waiting for Frank to call, talks ceaselessly about Frank, and calls Frank from a blocked number 3-4 times a day. Does this sound unhealthy to you? I hear worse on a regular basis…this is pretty tame. Well, okay, Mary’s had her heart stomped, and we can assume she loves or was deeply in love with old Frank, so this is gonna take some time to heal even if she gives up, right? Right. Now, let’s throw spellwork into the mix. Let’s say for 3 months Mary has been casting return to me spells on Frank and not noticed any effect of the spells working. Why? Let us go over why.
*Mary calls Frank from a blocked number 3-4 times a day. Listen up, you can block your number all you want, but unless you call like that 3 to 4 times a YEAR at most, I can honestly assume that the “Frank” in the situation knows who is calling. Yes, even if you hang up. Normal break ups have a lot of these calls initially, and I don’t care if you are 15 or 50, some sort of teenage-girl brain-infection seems to take hold of many people for the first few weeks to the first month after a break up…and on both sides. 😉 BUT, by month FOUR, if you are still partaking in this behavior at all, you are being a bad doobie. Do you really think stalking your target or relentlessly calling then is sexy or will win them back? No, it will probably make them think that you are crazy, and I don’t mean that in a fun happy way. Think back, if you will, to when you first hooked up with your sweetie. Did you call them and hang up constantly? Gee, I hope not. Remember, returning someone to you is similar to an initial seduction, and requires that you have some “game,” some seduction technique. If you are a sobbing snotball looking all dishevelled and calling 3-4 times a day trying to get that person to answer you by blocking your telephone number (or not,) you are not being sexy or seductive, or even really something which is a welcoming sight, are you? Put down the phone. All you are doing is shooting your spellwork in the foot by strongly reaffirming to your intended that you are not fit to date him/her, or probably anyone.
*Mary has stopped eating, and sits by her phone all day. Well, see above first. Also, looking like hell and not being in the general public really doesn’t make matters any better. If you are seeking the status of martyr for love, this one won’t win it for you. So, here is what “Mary” is doing… Mary is proving to “Frank,” that she is his no matter what he does…and not in a good way. This is the same thing as me letting you punch me in the face each time I see you so we can hang out. Further, it again reinforces that you are not mentally fit for a relationship, whilst also keeping you out of the eye of the greater public, which includes Frank. You want to win someone over? Project the image of well-being and success. Project that you, the Mary of the World, do not need Frank and can get 10 Franks with your unholy hotness. (Pun implied.) Nothing makes an ex question their decision to leave faster than seeing their ex-partner living well or even living better than he/she was before the break.
*Mary talks ceaselessly about Frank. Okay, this goes back to having some “game.” Don’t let that person know how much you are obsessed with them ever. If you are the Mary, just say about Frank, “Well, I wish it could’ve worked out, but I wish him well, even if it is not that he is to be with me.” People asking too many questions? Good, be faceitous. People are gossip-mongers, and they generally won’t help you…they just want the dirt. Be the better person, and say nothing at all…just vauge praise.
But I haven’t touched on the magic/kal very much, have I? 😉 Okay, all 3 of the points I outlined for you are things which are reacting with the spellwork. Mary in the example is reinforcing Frank’s doubts and fears and her behavior IS effecting the spell. Let’s say “Frank,” has been effected by a return to me spell. He gets back from work, misses Mary’s cooking, misses her affection, misses HER, and the new chick isn’t really…working out for him. Why then, is he not reconciling with “Mary.” Okay, well, sometime during Frank considering a reconciliation, the phone rings. Its blocked. He answers, and “click.” Who do you think that was? He calls Mary back, knowing who it was, and upon answering her phone she gets all weepy and boohoo why did you leave…and thus the urge to return has been siphoned from Frank. Why? Okay, on a good day, I don’t like when people cry. It is upsetting to me when it is not my fault. Many people, not just your friend Cat, dislike this. It feels bad. We feel as though the crying person is (as they are so obviously displaying,) hysterical. Hysteria is temporarily being insane. Being insane is scary. We are scared. Further, Mary has just called and hung up on Frank. This is very annoying, and outweighs his love because it is REINFORCING his reasons for running off in the first place. Perhaps he felt cornered by Mary, perhaps she “always overreacted,” and etc. Reinforcing the things he found wrong with her by her current behavior often outweighs the spell influences. Maybe Frank can’t get her out of his head, but at the same time all of his interactions with her presently are NEGATIVE and BAD and make her seem crazy and frightening. Further, he realizes if she is like this STILL after four months…well, she will probably always be hung up on him. He can get a “normal” girlfriend, and he ever wants Mary back…well, apparently she will still be waiting with open arms a million years from now anyhow. No need to rush, Frank thinks…so he doesn’t act on the spell energies.
See…Mary is shooting herself in the foot.
Let us move on to a love spell NOT having to do with reconcilation. Hera loves Ralph. She adores him. She does whatever she can to get Ralph to notice her, and although her love spells seemed to REALLY work at first, she notices he acting as though he is no longer really interested. There is some response, but it actually seems to be “going away.” Hera has been casting love spells on Ralph for 2 months, and does her best to show up wherever Ralph will be…also, she has called or texted him at least 4 times a day since he started showing interest in her.
Oh my. Does anyone else see what is going on here? Hera has apparently tried to get a previously uninterested party interested. This is okay. Its ‘doable,’ if you will, and Ralph was effected…but then what happened? Ahem. Hera has frightened off her target by mildly stalking him before the spell could totally take root. A spell does not negate bad behavior…does it? No, it doesn’t.
Listen up ladies and gents…I have some advice. Ladies, it may sound a little back-woods of me, but gentlemen usually like to do the chasing. If you are everywhere he is (not coming with him, just showing up,) and calling several times a day, you are being scary and being “too much, too fast.” Don’t worry, you will know when and if you can just call whenever you want and be cutesy and go wheresoever he goes, if that’s your thing (it isn’t mine, but to each his/her own,) and you will know when you can get away with this when HE starts calling you relentlessly and speaking in cutesy foo-foo tones and asking you to go out with him 24/7. Remember, one of the best things about being a woman is that you are an enigma, a mystery, with the most powerful thing ever created sitting right between your legs…yes, I am speaking of your vagina, and men will do many stupid stupid things to get you to let them use that thing. Don’t Wal-mart that thing out, girlfriend, if he wants the cheap version, it is for sale in certain gentleman’s clubs, and on dark street corners… but he doesn’t want the cheap version…he wants the mysterious, enigmatic lady who he has to SEDUCE to get that thing. Remember, your friend Cat is here, and she will swear that you have the most prized possesion of every hetero male right now… Ahem, no need to act like a stalking school-girl – he will stalk YOU to get after what you have if you play your cards right.
And gentleman…if you are crazy about some lady, and she is not so…excited about you. DO NOT bombard her with 1000 compliments every time you see her. It sounds disingenuine. Instead, say “Hello Gorgeous,” when you see her, and do not follow that with 800 more suck up comments. We’re women. You don’t fool us – after about 18, we’ve heard every come on in the book, okay? See the above paragraph, as we are the group who each hold the most valuable and prized thing on the planet, buddy, so don’t you think that many attempts to share that thing have been made? You gotta do it right. 😉
And guys, for the last time, YOU DO NOT OWN YOUR GIRLFRIEND/WIFE/PARAMOUR!! If you start acting like a woman is your possession, or even worse, like a woman is your dog and has to take orders from you…heads up, fellas, she’s probably gonna leave unless you beat her (SO UNSEXY AND WRONG AND ILLEGAL,) or chain her to your house (NOT EVEN LEGAL,) or verbally abuse her (and then you deserve to be beaten, but that is not even legal, so…well, you should die if you are like that.) So stop, caveman, and think. If you want a woman to do your bidding, you need to win her over…not fight her and frighten her.
Obsession in love is not sexy. To be in love, you do need to be a bit obsessed (yes, its true,) because when you are deeply in love, very often you are feeling that the particular person you love is perhaps the all-time greatest creation ever…so you will be a bit obsessed. But remember, to win someone over, acting like you have a “Fatal Attraction,” is not winning behavior. People seem to literally forget this altogether in reconciliation cases and many love cases, and quite honestly folks, I’d say I’m shocked by some of the things which are told to me…but I’m not. I did attend high school where this behavior was a daily occurance, and to a lesser extent college was also like this…BUT ADULTS should not act like this.
Anyhow, this rant is aimed at everyone (hopefully in time for the dreaded VD, aka Valentine’s Day,) in the hopes you will love and respect that person you so claim to love. Its my advice, its my opinion, it is what it is, but PLEASE give it some thought.
Love is a wonderful and terrible thing,
~Cat
Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 
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