“Today I’d like to explain what a candle is to all of you. Usually, a candle is a long cylindrical object made of wax with a string called a ‘wick’ at the end, – it sort of resembles a tampon, but can come in many different shapes. However, I urge you not to use a candle as a tampon, nor to use a tampon as a candle. Lighting your tampon may cause serious injuries.”
Hope you liked that, buddy. 😉
For the rest of you…I’m sorry for this perverted disruption to tell you a personal joke, now back to our regularly scheduled program.
~C
Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 
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