Questions You Asked Me: Reconciliation and Reconciliation Spells edition

Hello Occulties,

Apparently there is a huge need for this article, if my inbox is telling me anything true, so let’s get it done. 😉

Q: If you could give anyone who never did a reconcilation spell some advice for their first one that would apply to most or all situations, what would it be?

A: First I’d remind them that a reconcilation is quite similar to the initial seduction, so, first and foremost, to drop any melodramatics, acting out, misbehavior, etc. Why? Because if so-and-so would have thought how you’re acting now was unacceptable before you seduced them the first time, guess how it comes off as now? UNACCEPTABLE! (and probably a little crazy.) 😉

Second, I’d say to remember that we use spells to effect the PRESENT to bring us to a desired future (manifestation,) and not to bring us backwards in time to the past when we broke up with someone. If you are living in the past, you can’t change the present, so let go of the past…you can have a FUTURE that you want with who you want, but you have to change that future NOW, and since that’s changing it in the PRESENT, that means we need understand that we require time to get to the desired future.

Third, always have faith in yourself, and in your spellwork.

Fourth, despite having faith in said work, always do in the mundane what is best to change the situation to how you want it to be. For example, if I want to reconcile with Hezekiel, the best thing to do is probably to avoid fighting with him, and to avoid using things like emotional manipulation and emotional blackmail. I would also be well advised to keep myself looking attractive, keep myself socially available, etc.

Fifth, acting in haste and desperation will almost always come back to figuratively bite one in the hindquarters. 😉 With this in mind, dismiss the unreasonable worries that if you do not get what you want by this week, you will die and the world is over and whatever. 😉 Usually when people come to me, no one is dead or dying or even close. Being too eager to get someone back, or too freaked when you realize it might not happen tomorrow (I have known people to act like 2 weeks was a death sentence and tell me that’s too much,) is only going to hurt YOU and make YOU act unreasonable. RELAX! When you start thinking calmly, you may be surprised how fast things work out. See #3.

Sixth, remember changes are like to have to be made when you reconcile to keep the relationship working. A problem caused the split, and the problem will at some time need to be addressed.

And seventh, while you may be right a person or thing is an obstacle, the more you fear it and see it as an obstacle to you getting your ex back, the more strength you give to it. This does also go back to number 3. 😉

That’s what’s coming off of the top of my head. 😉

Q: What are the best days for reconciliation?

A: The best days for love or reconcilation are, in order of best to acceptable, Friday, Monday, Wednesday. It should be noted that Thursday can be used for controlling work, and some people use controlling work to give a reconciliation work more force.

Q: I am on good terms with my ex, and we’re friends – why does my reconcilation work seem to be floundering?

A: In some cases, there isn’t a need to reconcile because no one is angry or fighting. 😉 When you feel like everything between you and your ex is very friendly and that there is little or nothing to “make up” about, I recommend trying love-drawing type spellcraft.

Q: Why do you think calling/contacting the spell target of a reconciliation spell is so bad?

A: To be perfectly fair, unless its part of the spell to not initiate the first contact, I don’t know as I’d say I ALWAYS think its bad to contact one’s ex. If its part of the spell, then its mandatory. However, the other case I feel one SHOULD NOT contact their ex would be if they do not have a positive relationship whatsoever. Like…if you’re best buddies with your ex and see them every day, its weird not to talk to them…but its not usually the case. My personal feelings are that there is nothing positive ever to be gained fromn contacting or continuing to contact a non-responsive party or a party you know is not interested in making contact. Usually an ex wants to be left alone. And why do people REALLY call? I mean…really what it generally ends up being perceived as by the person you’re calling is antagonism and stalking, that the person calling them is emotionally unstable…really its impressing a negative memory of yourself on someone to do that. Crying isn’t sexy, pleading isn’t sexy, ultimatims and emotional blackmail and melodrama? All unsexy. And why else are you calling? They won’t forget you overnight, but if you continue to call your ex all of the time, realize you may just be making yourself be remembered in a bad way.

Q: What, in your opinion, is the best day and moon phase for a reconcilation?

A: I get this question a lot, so might as well post it. 😉 IMHO, I would say that in general, the Friday nearest to- but after the new (black) moon (in a waxing/growing phase) in the hour of the moon. Why the moon hour? Because its healing.

Q: What is the spell target thinking/feeling/experiencing from the effects of the spellwork?

A: That is a question that has as many answers as the people who ask it. I know everyone really really really really really wants to know how a spell will manifest or if its working…that is very normal and natural. However, while I might provide a few possible ways the spell might be manifesting by citing past examples of reports given to me by those who have been effected by the use of reconciliation spells or even times I’ve been a target of them and how they felt, I can’t tell you that’s how the spell that you’re casting is going to manifest or work.

Remember, as with all spells, how and why it manifests is answered when the spell manifests, not always (or even all too often) before then. Yeah, I know, what a sucko answer, but its the answer all the same. 😉

Q: How will I know if my reconcilation spell worked?

A: Assuming its for you, you’ll know because your ex wants to get back together with you. Admittedly, someone could be wanting to go back to you and fighting that urge, or even not showing you that’s how they feel, but just because someone is effected by the spell, that doesn’t mean its worked in the sense that it was successful in how you’d wanted it to be.

Q: Can you make a spell or do you know of a spell where someone returns to me and then asks me to marry them?

A: While I know both reconcilation spells and marriage spells, I would say you might want to be sure the person you’re dating wants to date you and is happy with you in a happy and committed relationship for a few months before you start clamoring for marriage. 😉 In other words stop getting ahead of yourself, and fix the relationship first, then be COMFORTABLE in that relationship before you even consider marriage spellcraft.

Q: If my first and second reconcilation spells don’t seem to have any effect, should I give up?

A: I feel that its time to give up if you answer YES to any of the following three questions:

*Has your desire to be with this person taken over your life to such an extent as damaging personal relationships with others, or with harming your work performance?

*Are you considering harming the object of your desire because you feel they “must” come to you and be yours, or “pay” for not coming to you? (For example, “Love me, or else!”)

*Is the object of your affections someone who was and still is married or engaged to another person?

If you didn’t answer yes to the above, then I would not say you definitely SHOULD give up, and its up to you to decide if you no longer wish to persue the person, or, if you feel you’ve put enough effort into it and wish to put no more effort into it. I don’t think 2 spells which you probably didn’t give enough time to work (most people ask me this after like 10 days after spellcasting, lol,) should be the sole determining factor the feasibility of the situation working out in your favor, but if it tries your patience too much or is something you feel no longer appeals to you as a goal for yourself, then by all means, stop spellcasting on the person to bring them back.

Alright, this is by no means the finite list of recon questions people ask me, but I hope its been of some assistance. 🙂

~Cat

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