Reconciling a Friendship, part 1

Hi Occulties,

While most people want to resurrect a romantic love situation, reconciling a friendship is actually not an unpopular request. I had thought about it, and couldn’t recall having ever posted anything regarding how to do this. 😉 I’m going to go over a few simpler methods for everyone, and I do hope they help all of you make peace with your lost friend (if you want to make peace with them.)

Before I begin, there is a pretty good book out there to help you effectively communicate with people, and it’s one I’ll recommend if you want to stop fighting with anyone. The book is Just Listen: The Secret to Getting Through To Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston, MD. This might actually help you avoid future friend break ups, romantic break ups, or even fighting with your boss (or employees,) so it’s a valuable read. 🙂

But let’s dive into the occult end of the pool now, shall we?

So, you’ve had a severe fight with your friend. It’s so bad you’re not talking, and you’re not sure you want to start talking. 😛 Every time you do try to approach the situation, it just seems to get worse. What do you do?

For starters, before everything goes ass over elbow, you might try putting their name on a scrap of paper, and sticking this in your sugar bowl. Yes, in your sugar bowl. Yes, the same one you get sugar out of. Yes, I have found one or two of these floating in my coffee before, thanks for asking. 😉 This is a temporary fix, and best done when the situation has just begun simmering, not when it’s reached the point of boiling over. 😉 If the situation improves shortly, remove the name from the sugar bowl and dispose of it as you see fit (I honestly just toss them in the rubbish when everyone’s hugged it out.) 😉

BUT, maybe that won’t be enough. Maybe you’ve gone too far, and maybe your friend has gone too far. 😛 It happens. The next step I might suggest is a sweet jar for repairing a friendship. These are relatively easily made.

You will need:
A medium to large GLASS jar (jam jar to mayonnaise jar sizes), with a metal lid
Granulated sugar
Honey OR another sweetener (light or dark Karo syrup, for example, will work fine in place of honey)
A few Balm of Gilead buds
Some rose petals, preferably pink but white or red are fine
Optional herbs: lemongrass, heal-all, licorice root
Light blue or pink candles, I prefer this kind
Paper
Pen
Reconciliation oil
A photo or biological item from you and your friend.
Optional: heavy waterproof tape, roadopener oil, or VanVan oil.

Prep:
Add a pinch of each herb you are using to the jar, then fill the jar about a third to a half full of granulated sugar.
Take your piece of paper, and tear off all the edges so that they are torn, not cut. If you do not want to use a piece as large as the standard American letter size (or a regular sheet of printing paper, which is probably standardized in each country,) feel free to quarter the paper and to just use a quarter of it with all sides torn off. 😉 Write your target’s name seven times, as so (replacing “John Smith” with their name):
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
Now turn the paper so the name of the target is running vertically and write your own name seven times horizontally over the target’s name. It will look a bit like a tic tac toe board. Around the names write “Reconcile” over and over in a circle, or “Friends again” over and over until it makes a circle. An example of a name paper is shown below:

Spit into the paper, place a drop of reconciliation oil into the spit, and place the photo or personal item from yourself and your target into the center of the paper. Fold the paper TOWARDS you once, and then, as if quartering the paper, turn it so you can fold it TOWARDS you again. Put this into the jar. Fill the jar full with your honey or sweetener, and seal this tightly.

If you are worried about drips, you can secure the lid with some strong tape.

The work:
Like many jar spells, this one is best worked frequently. 😉 Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you will want to burn a candle on top of the jar (take care – if too many drippings accumulate, you may need to remove them to prevent the jar from becoming a fire hazard – please monitor the candle if the jar is basically entombed in drippings,) and you should continue to do this until the friendship has been repaired.

Some of you will want to know if there is a best moon cycle or planet hour. On a Monday, I’d work in the hour of Venus, on a Wednesday, again the hour of Venus, and on a Friday, the hour of the Moon. If this makes no sense to you, or you don’t use planet hours, please ignore. As for working this and using the moon – if you choose to use the moon you can use a few methods. Either work starting the day after the new moon to the full moon, and then do not work for about 2 weeks til this cycle starts again; -OR- light the candles at an hour between 6a-9a every Monday, Wednesday, Friday; -OR- work as you please during the waxing (growing) moon, and ALWAYS work prior to the noontime during the waning (shrinking) moon. All these methods will work for lunar correspondences.

If you don’t give a hoot about the moon or the planets, just work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 😉

Using a pin or a needle scratch “Friends again” up the side of your light blue or pink candle.

Dress your pink or light blue candles in reconciliation oil. If you’ve chosen to use an optional oil above-listed, use either Van-Van or Roadopener on the candle as well. To dress the candle, place a few drops of oil in your “power hand” (generally the one you use to write with,) and then lightly grasp the candle, and using seven “pulls” or “strokes” UP (base to wick) anoint the candle. Now hold the candle in your hands and keeping a mental image of you and your friend together and happy again, try to send this picture into the candle mentally. If you prefer using “colored” energy, try to send pink, golden orange, and light blue energy into the candle until it feels “full.” If you do not feel you can send energy, or if you are new to spellcasting, just try to hold the candle in your hands while visualizing you and your friend as being friends again for a few minutes.

Light the candle and use some drippings to secure it to the jar lid. Once the candle is fastened to the top of the jar, hold your hands so both are on either side of the jar, palms in, facing the candle, and again try to envision you and your friend as friends again, and do your best to keep this mental image as you say the chant. You can “talk” to the candle if you feel you’re experienced enough or do not need a chant (so avoid using negatives like “no, not, never” and keep your commands in the present tense,) or if you’d like a chant you can use, the following should do the trick:

By my will, and by this candle’s light
Reconcile my friendship to (name of target) this very night.
Bring us closer, draw out pain
So we can be friends with each other again.
Forgiveness comes to us as is my will for that to be,
(Name of target) return in forgiveness and friendship to me.
As is my will, so be it!

Allow the candle to burn out. As stated above, you will want to burn one of these candles using the above described method every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the friendship has been repaired.

COMING NEXT – Reconciling a friendship, part 2. Stay tuned! 🙂

~Cat

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