Hey Occulties,
Recently a client asked me if there was anything she could do about a malicious gossip who was ruining her reputation at work. Apparently the gossiping party liked drama or playing people against other people – I think many of us know the type: smiles in your face, compliments you, is sweet to you, then runs behind your back and tells people how you’re somehow mean, dishonest, or etc. The gossip was ruining my client’s reputation, and for no good reason other than the gossip felt like eliminating my client’s presence at work (and her good standing with her employer) might get the gossip ahead in the work place. Ugh. 😛
I had posted this spell some time ago about gossips. The linked spell is probably going to be enough for your average gossip, and you don’t need to get too severe. That said, I do truly hate people who think calumny is innocent or harmless. Sure, I’ll joke with old friends “let’s have a gossip,” but when I say that, it’s usually “Let’s share news about people we both don’t get to see very much,” and it’s never “Let me make up lies and stories about someone so that you think I’m cool.” A true gossip just spreads lies and half truths, and often so much to the detriment of who they speak of, that the damage can be irreversible.
If someone is telling lies about you to such an extreme that your job or marriage is in danger, you might also try the following:
You will need:
A coconut
A personal item from the target’s head (preferably focusing on the mouth, like a used napkin, or something with their spittle on it. Be creative – licked envelopes are very helpful here, as are old toothbrushes.)
An item to bore a hole in the coconut (such as a hole-borer)
The remains of at least one stinging insect or arachnid (I’m quite fond of wasps in this situation – please make sure this is dead, and don’t get yourself stung. A dessicated remain of one of these found in a light fixture works great, but be sure the stinger is still on the animal.)
Inflammatory confusion powder
9 needles
9 pins
9 nails
A black “Sharpie” marker
Glue (any old glue usually works)
Tin foil
Something to seal the hole with*
Four black candles – just regular taper candles or tea-lights work. If you can’t find four SAME SIZED candles in black (this is actually incredibly easy, and you’re being a bad rootworker if you can’t find this…you need to be creative and a problem solver to be a rootworker, and yeah, I’m giving you a “look” right now, if you’re like “Cat, I can’t find this!! Wahhhh!!!” and no, it’s not a nice look, hahahaha,) then use red candles, again in the same size and shape.
This isn’t a nice spell at all. Be sure you’re prepared to damage the gossip. Before you ask, yes you need the personal effect mentioned, and if you write me asking for a substitution, I will tell you to go pound sand up your butt…which isn’t a substitution for the item from the head, but will at least teach you to stop asking me for substitutions when the substitution for any ingredient is to find a spell that you have all the ingredients to. 😉
Bore a hole in your coconut, and drain the milk from it. Using your sharpie, draw a face on the coconut to represent your target, using the hole you have bored as the mouth of the person’s face. You don’t have to be Rembrandt – a simple face with something that has an upside-down 7 for a nose and 2 circles with pupils for eyes, etc., will work just fine. On the opposite side from where you’ve bored the hole and drawn the face, write the name of the target, for example “John Q. Sample” and put their birthdate under it (ex. July 23, 1984.) If you are unsure of the birthdate, you can substitute this with the target’s mother’s full name (ex “born of Jane Q. Doe Sample).
From this point in my instruction, I will use “NN” to be significant of the target’s FULL NAME. I will use YN to be significant of the petitioner’s full name (person the spell is cast on behalf of, or yourself if doing the spell for yourself).
Take your tin foil, and tear from it a piece perhaps 4 inches by 4 inches (bigger as needed is fine,) so you have a square. Glue your witness item (the personal item from the head of your target – if you’re using a toothbrush from this person, just a few bristles is great,) into the center. You may wish to allow this to dry for a bit. Once the glue has dried, using your sharpie, write, in a circle around the item, and as small as possible: “NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me” (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) “I send back at thee.” Speak these words as you write them. Now fold your corners of your foil inwards, so that a reflective surface is against the personal item. Remember, I’m a Hoodoo, and fancy doesn’t really mean much to me, but effective does, so I’m going to reassure you, even if it looks like you’re doing a half-assed job of wrapping a piece of gum back up or something, your main aim is to get that reflective surface (the shiny side of the tin foil) as flat as possible (on your first fold in, folding AWAY from yourself) and as reflective as possible against the witness item…it isn’t to make something pretty that your mom will want to hang up on her wall or something. 😉 You are going to fold the other three sides in gently using the same folding AWAY from yourself motion until you have all the shiny sides of your tin foil folded inward.
Now, I’ve put some images here below, since I hate stupid questions and these tend to prevent those. 😉 As you can see, I’ve folded a piece of tinfoil using the flat side, and using the corner. I personally prefer using the flat side for this method, but either works, just fold AWAY from you rather than towards.
Once you have folded up your tinfoil place this inside you coconut, saying “NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me” (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) “I send back at thee,” as you do so.
Crush your stinging insect (again, this should be dead already, ahem, so don’t be a big meanie and catch a fresh one only to complain it stung you when you smooshed it,) so that it is in small pieces and mix this into about 2 tablespoons of inflammatory confusion powder. Place this inside your coconut, saying “NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me” (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) “I send back at thee,” as you do so.
Drop your pins, nails, and needles into the coconut saying, “NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me” (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) “I send back at thee,” as you do so.
Remember, keep the image of your target in your mind’s eye while you say your chant. If you’re having a hard time keeping an image in your head of this person, you may want to place an image of them on your altar or work space.
*Now, seal the hole in your coconut. You might use a cork, you might use some wood glue mixed with a little inflammatory confusion powder…I even know another rootworker who seals nasty coconut spells with dog-shit mixed with a few other things, but I personally can’t stomach that. 😉 The idea is to keep that hole permanently (or nearly permanently) sealed. Tape will probably not work in this instance, so if you’re totally lost as to what to do, cutting a small piece of wood, and liberally gluing it into place might do just fine. Let that seal set up – I’d let it set overnight, but as long as it’s not going to fall apart, it’s sealed.
Now for the fun part. >:)
Place the coconut on your altar. Have it so it looks like a head sitting up. If you need to prop it up (it might roll,) I recommend using some small stones – especially if you can get them from the target’s property. If you can’t get them from the target’s property, find them either at a tavern/bar with a bad reputation (so any place known for violence, bad people, or lots of badness and debauchery,) or from a street on which traffic accidents are common…especially a crossroads with lots of accidents. Mwhahahahaha. If it won’t roll, then don’t worry about the stones to prop it up.
Now place your four candles at each of the cardinal points of the directions (North, East, South, West,) and most phones have a compass in them now, so this should not be difficult for you to determine. Make sure your candle is dead center between these candles. Light the candles in a clockwise motion. I usually start with the Eastern candle first.
Without burning yourself (seriously, be careful and don’t stick your arm too close to the candle flames,) place your hands on either side of the candles so that your hands would be maybe 3-4 inches from the sides of the “head” and envision the coconut as being your target’s head as you say: “NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me” (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) “I send back at thee.” Herein add whatever else you feel needs to be added (that they suffer the torment they have brought you, that they be the victim of their own calumnies, etc, being as direct as possible. I like to cuss up a storm, so I might say “NN, as you have spoken ill at me, now your shit-covered tongue breaks out and is pierced with a thousand fiery needles. You stupid fucking cocksucking cuntfaced little liar, everyone sees you for who you are, and the more shit you talk about me, the more you are hated and reviled by all who but pass by you.” Now, that’s just me, I get pretty nasty. You add in what you want, just make sure it is full of venom! 🙂 When you’re done speaking, say “”NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me” (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) “I send back at thee. Any time henceforth that I shake this head, your I enflame your brain with madness, and send all of your lies and calumny back at you that all who hear it believe it to be about you! As is my will, SO BE IT!”
Allow the candles to burn out. Shake the coconut with your hands whenever you want to give that person a good kick in the mouth. They will already be suffering for what they’re saying, even if you don’t shake it, but this will amplify the effect.
Now, I take no responsibility for whatever stupidity that you use this for, but I strongly caution against using this spell lightly, or against someone who is magically more adept than you are. It is not a nice spell. There are real consequences. Mis-use it at your own risk. I honestly would only recommend it’s use if someone’s calumnies against you are about to cost you your job, your marriage, or something equally as dear. It would be completely irresponsible to use it because someone called you a bitch or something. 😉 Keep in mind to pick your battles wisely, and that it’s often the best idea to use the least amount of force needed. You’re going to do whatever you want to do, but as with all spellwork, I always recommend acting cautiously, wisely, and justly. Ethics are never a bad thing. If you’re just really pissed right now, sleep on it, and see if you can go with the lighter working I linked to above first to see if that stops the gossip before you take out the big guns. Just a bit of friendly advice. 😉
If you need to contact me rather than leaving a comment, please do.
Happy rootworking! 🙂
~Cat
Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 
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