Hey Occulties,
A very upset reader asked me today "what's the point," when this person meant that they loved this other person so much, and because of compatibility reasons and the other person's (not the person speaking to me, but their beloved) issues, a romantic relationship just wasn't working. This was on the heels of two other of my readers having long-term friendships break up (over 20 years,) over seemingly nothing.
So I'll over this. Love isn't a guarantee that it will always work, but love is a very strong thing if it is true love.
I often quote Corinthians 13: 4-8:
4 Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, 5 it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints, 6 it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth. 7 Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.
This is true, and it doesn't mean you're never jealous, or hurt, or bitter. It means that when you truly love a person, those emotions – that jealousy, the anger, the grudge? It quickly falls away. Maybe a year, maybe five years SEEMS a long time – but it isn't, especially given the average human life span. Real love is unconditional, which doesn't mean you're a doormat, it means you love despite old hurts, or old jealousy.
When you truly love a person, you forgive them…but you also need to love yourself truly and forgive yourself. In fact, a lot of the time, the anger we bear towards another is from not forgiving ourselves.
Furthermore, jealousy, anger, bitterness, frustration – these are cancers on your life. There is so much beauty in this world that we take for granted, and I don't just mean a beautiful sunset, or the birth of a child, or even the feeling of warm sheets out of the dryer. Now, like I said, I don't pretend to be some guru who knows all the great secrets of life, but if I were to guess, it would be that we need to stop being so pretentious, bitter, and self involved, and be thankful for the love we have and the blessings we have. I know how hard that can be, as easy as it sounds. It's hard to be thankful for a roof over my head, or food on my plate when I have 35 people telling me I "abandoned" them because my cable company had a problem with internet service and I was without for 4 days, so more than one person told me off! It's hard to be grateful that I'm able bodied, that I have friends…when I have someone who embezzled money and is now reversing payments left and right to merchants months after the fact, and I get a hit. But I do have blessings, and so do you.
I guess my point isn't, to paraphrase Buddha in the worst way, "Chill, homey, you need to let that shit go!" but that all of us find ourselves being selfish and needy and hurt and missing out on the blessings in life when things get tough, and what we forget is that life is a gift, and even when we lose out on a romantic pairing, finding true love with any other human (romantic, platonic, or even familial,) is a blessing that, even if it hurts right now, will be a gift to us all of our lives. The secret to life is that when it gets rough and craptastic (and it always will,) to remember that we have blessings, and that we are not bereft of any joys or gifts in our lives. The secret is to remember that even if that relationship (and I don't mean just romantic relationships) is on the outs right now, that if we have a true bond to that person, it's not apt to just fall to nothing. They will be part of our lives longer than we realize. And if they never come back? Well, I've been in love a few times, and the moment that I fell in love (fell truly in love) is still a beautiful moment in time to me.
So, what's the point? The point is that you're focusing on a splinter in your finger (figuratively) and complaining it's a death-level injury, when in reality, it's a speed bump on a very long road. If you love that person, patience and forgiveness may not make the relationship work, but it will show you its value. And if you're angry and feel life is just handing you lemons, go add them to some vodka or make lemonade, because you're surrounded by beauty and grace every day, and focusing on your anger will make you miss out.
Hope that wasn't just a lot of platitudes to all of you. Spells can fix things, but you need to love yourself, and forgive yourself and others, regardless of spells or not. That's the path to healing your life and making a better life – forgiveness (letting go,) and compassion (understanding.)
~Cat
Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 