Getting Results when you’re Obsessed with the Situation

Hey Occulties,

I had a boatload of other articles to post but this is the theme that keeps haunting my inbox, so might as well get through with this first. 😉

For starters, I'm not judging….I've definitely had my own "Cat can't let go" moments just like the rest of you have. When something is important, or making you anxious, it's difficult to release the situation from your thoughts, and I get how difficult. However, as we've been over in here before, that's not at all helpful to a spell manifesting – that is, in fact, the dreaded "thinking a spell to death"/lust for results which I constantly advise against.

Furthermore, when you're living the situation (and keep in mind, I have clients and readers who are dealing with divorce, with theft, with ex girlfriends or boyfriends of their intended who threaten them, etc, at any given time,) it can be hard to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, even if you really need to in order for your spell to manifest strongly. As much as you do not want me to say this to you (again, been there, heard it, was opposed to hearing it because I was too caught up, and had spell failure for it,) you first need to remember to exercise self-control. If someone is threatening you, then you need to probably go to the police. Admittedly, not all problems require this, but if someone is saying they will harm you, your family, or your friends, you need to go to the authorities if you believe that they are being serious. But regardless of if you DO or DO NOT call the police, you still need to avoid taking the bait to argue or engage with this person – they are baiting you for you to react. The best thing that you can do is to be calm, aloof, and relatively non-reactive. They WANT YOU to react poorly so that they can "give you enough rope to hang yourself," which is an idiom meaning they want you to act out or act negatively in an effort to show to themselves or others that you are mentally deficient. DO NOT take the bait. Instead, even if, secretly, you're ready to rip your own arm off and beat someone to death with it, act unfazed. Act as if you don't care. If you take the proverbial bait, you are lengthening your own wait time for manifestation AND feeding someone who is opposing you the energy to keep you away from what you want.

I know it IS NOT easy, – but if someone wants you to get upset, angry, sad, clingy, offended, etc, merely act aloof. Go pound on the walls and scream into a pillow when it's over. It pays off to do this. 😉

Next, avoid pressing your "agenda" in any overt way. If you want so and so to return your affections, don't turn on the flirtation heavily. If you want so and so to pay that past due bill, if it's a delicate situation, don't hint on that heavily. Watch your target for clues like a hunter tracks prey. A hunter doesn't run into the forest screaming "come over here, deer, so I can shoot you and eat you," and throw leaves and sticks all over until he's tired himself out. He or she waits, and observes, and silently waits more. Maybe he or she uses something to make a call the prey would respond to. You need to be the same way.

And act WITH YOUR GOAL, and not against it. While some of this is painfully obvious (like don't fight with a reconciliation target,) some might be less so. Don't fight with a curse target or bad mouth them (it attaches you to their downfall.) Don't argue with a rival for love. Don't overdo contact about a job (desperation and anxiety pushes off the people doing the hiring,) don't over-apologize or explain to a reconciliation target (it's off putting,) don't throw yourself at a love drawing target (again, desperation is the world's worst cologne) – all of these are things which might be less obvious to a neophyte in regards to manifestation. You need to act in concert with your spell, not against it. Magic is no safeguard against bad behavior.

But what do you do when outwardly, at least, you're acting with your spellwork, but inwardly you're so wrapped up and obsessed with the situation that it's causing you to (possibly) privately act out, and your personal time is consumed with thoughts of the situation and those involved?

While I've said it at least 2x a year for a few years (heh,) TRY TO LET IT GO. Keep your mind active, keep yourself involved in tasks that require concentration and active thought. I realize this is easier said than done, but avoiding "no-mind" tasks like watching TV or doing repetitive non-thinking chores (sweeping, washing dishes) can exacerbate the problem. Obviously, cleaning is part of life, and probably can't be avoided, so try calling a friend while you do these chores, and asking about their life. That might distract you some. When you have free time, concentrate on fixing a friend's problems or on work. Do your best to keep your mind engaged in other tasks.

Still, sometimes this is not enough to get some people to stop obsessing. The next step is to shut off your social media. Now, most of these sites allow you to put this on a vacation mode or shut it down. So do that. Delete the app from your phone. Take some time off from WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram or whatever. DO NOT reload it. You do not need it to live. See how freeing a week away is. This will help you from checking for updates from an ex or involved party (almost always misleading) and help relieve you of obsession.

And yet still this might not be enough. If you find yourself worrying on the situation, remind yourself that overthinking has never ever ever ever solved anything, but HAS PROBABLY CAUSED SOME MAJOR HEART ATTACKS. 99.9999% of problems are something you can deal with tomorrow or next week. They won't go anywhere and they won't get worse. I'm not saying don't pay your mortgage, but if Sally Lou or Bobby Ralph ain't replying to your texts, a week of not thinking about it is not apt to worsen the issue or even complicate it more (it may actually help.)

My best advice is always to live in the present, and not stress about the past or the future. We all need to take certain steps to maintain our way of life or have some protection against being homeless or living in a roach-infested mess, so you do need to pay bills and save some money and clean, but you also need to do your best to live your life where you're focusing on NOW not on what might be or what might have been. Staying actively involved in interests which do not have a connection to your spellwork is recommended, but if you're, for example, trying to get a better job, then sending out applications EVERYWHERE is also something which might help (in other words, don't focus on that ONE SINGLE JOB YOU THINK YOU MUST MUST MUST HAVE.) I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's up to you to not only let go of the situation you're working on, but making sure that you have several routes for the work to manifest is also helpful.

It might surprise you, but when I was working on an ex some time ago, around the same time, I found myself overwhelmed with other obligations which would preclude me running into this guy. When I just focused on these obligations, suddenly all of these strange opportunities where I had to have contact with this person kept popping up – a mutual friend found themselves in trouble, I was told to pass a message to him through another friend who had lost touch, we even literally bumped into each other three or four times which has happened basically never ever in all the years before then. I had more success having contact with this person when I was focused on life and situations outside of him or the spellwork than I did if I did not focus on those things.

Sometimes the key to "letting go" of the situation is just not thinking about it and focusing on other aspects of your life. Getting results when you're obsessed with a situation will take a lot longer than if you release your obsession with the situation, so you owe it to yourself to stop overthinking and let that spell manifest.

I hope that made some sense and was helpful. 🙂

~Cat