Using Guilt as a Motivator in Reconciliation Spells Can Be a Bad Idea

Hey there Occulties

The Y key is acting up on my keyboard, so be prepared for possible typos. 😉

As many of you have probably guessed, reconciliation is one of topic people contact me about the most. As you may imagine, many people want their "beloved" to feel remorse or regret for their mistreatment or bad actions during a relationship, and reasonably, this may actually be a solid bit of thinking, and not just someone still fuming over what happened to cause the fracture in the relationship in the first place. Yes, of course, it's normal to have vindictive feelings or want someone who burned you to feel the same pain you did, but it can also be helpful for them to feel guilt – it can actually help spur them to making amends.

However it may surprise some of you to find out that it can be harmful as well. It really depends on the target. While one person who is overwhelmed with guilt may come to the petitioner and beg forgiveness, others may actually blame the petitioner for causing these feelings and lash out at them. It's not necessarily a common reaction, but it's not so rare either. I would say 4 out of 5 to 9 out of 10 targets will be effected in a fashion where they will seek to make amends when one adds the trigger of guilt to cause the target to come back, but there is still that 10-20% who will actually be repelled by this. 

Furthermore, keep in mind that some people will NEVER admit guilt or apologize…I have a handful of friends who can't even accept responsibility for anything wrong that they do. If they got cheating by a spouse, it's not their fault, the spouse did whatever action or the person they committed adultery with lured them in or whatever. If they miss a deadline, it's not their fault, x thing happened. If they broke a glass, it's not their fault, it was too close to the edge of the table (usually because someone else put it there, according to them.) We've all met this kind of person, and if you're dating or married to one, don't expect them to admit wrongdoing easily – guilt and self-reflection may in no way help your reconciliation. This person won't accept blame. It's part of their nature.

This doesn't mean you are never going to be able to get this person to come back – rather this means you are better off using reconciliation methods which focus more on healing, and perhaps using sexual urges or bonds of love, rather than a nasty kick to the heart to draw up guilt within the target. 

I don't often advocate the use of guilt as a trigger in your first attempt of reconciling someone as is, but I have seen enough people who want to bring out the proverbial "big guns" as soon as possible, even if the effect on the target is a bit unkind. 

Just my 2 cents. 😉

~Cat