No Rest for the Wicked…

Hey Occulties,

The following curse was created with a particular type of person I've encountered before in mind. Basically everyone has met this person before, and it is the person who decides to try to turn your life upside down over something ridiculously trivial, and while they are mostly self-defeating asshats, there still has to be some damage control done. In this case, I decided since these people are c***s, why not hit them where their soul is…in their yeasty little genitals. 

I will put one caveat here – you need proximity to your target. While I am lucky in that a lot of people all over the country (and even the world,) owe me favors and would plant this item for me so proximity to certain targets isn't such a hassle for me, you might not have the same abilities. 

You will need:
An image of your target
9 pins
1 pack active dry yeast
Tin foil
Salt (I like the salt used to melt ice on driveways…for some reason, it really works nicely for this spell)
Broken glass/rusty old metal – any "sharp" trash is good
A jar 
A cup like a dixie paper cup
Urine 
A trowel or similar digging implement

So, basically, as weird as it sounds, if you can get the urine of an animal that isn't your own (veterinarians and vet techs, rejoice!) this is the best urine for this spell. If you want to be gross and tricky, and you can get the target's urine (I have no idea how,) or another person's urine, (I mean, you could say the toilet won't flush and get the watered down urine when your guest leaves?) that's good too. But lacking that, you're going to use your own pee. I know some of you are squeamish about using fluids and in this case, this spell is not going to be for you. 

You will need an image from at least the butt/crotch up (clothed of course, but if you have nudes, and only nudes of that uro-genital area, that works great and knock yourself out, and I bet some of you are thinking twice about sending those dick pics right now, ha), but if you have an image of this person standing where you can see them head to toe, this is the best  if your picture is of a clothed target.

First, stab your target's image with your pins, and you will want to leave those in. As you insert each pin (wherever on the image is fine,) say "As s/he clothed himself with cursing like as with a garment, so let it come unto her/his bowels like water, and like oil into her/his bones." When you have placed the pins, take a piece of aluminum foil with the shinier side facing DOWN, and the matte/less-shiny side facing up. Sprinkle some of the dry yeast out, and place the image face up on top of this, then sprinkle more yeast onto the image. Take some of your urine (or the urine…I ask no questions,) into the dixie cup and pour this lightly on to the yeast and image. Now gently fold the aluminum foil to seal the item, folding AWAY from your body (side to side is fine, but do not fold towards you,) and place the folded item so the "head" of the person on the image is on the bottom of the jar – so they would be "upside down" and hold this as you sprinkle a mix of salt and broken glass into the jar (until the base of the image will stand up without you holding it,) until the jar is full. When you have filled the jar, hold both hands on either side of the jar and try to visualize dark energy pouring into the jar (I like to see this as tons of tiny black worms,) until you "feel" it is full, and seal the jar. If you are not good with visualization, try to focus on your goal for a few minutes and seal the jar. While would love to say "add the usual" (if you're familiar with the PGM, you probably get the reference, haha,) I know many of you want a chant here (I generally ad-lib, but I can provide a chant), so say, "(Target's Name,) I call down upon you pestilence and misery, that you are restless ill, and uncomfortable all of the time. I conjure you (target name) to suffer and to be cursed, and that this energy grow each time you pass near this charm. As is my will, so be it!"

Now, I know some of you want someone to suffer FOREVERRRRRR, but in many cases, many people just want someone to cease acting in a particular fashion, or suffer until some desired end is reached. If I knew who stole my television (seriously, this happened,) I might have said in that case for the person to suffer until they returned my television. If I have an ex who is having some sort of slobbering idiot-fit and talking smack all over the place about me, I might say they suffer until they tell everyone they are a lying shit and stop gossiping. I'm sure you get the point. Otherwise, this won't work FOREVERRRR, but this will cause a great deal of discomfort for some time. Because after you say the chant, guess where this badboy is going?

The way to get this to start working is to bury it beside the bathroom of your target's house. Try "cutting" the topsoil so it doesn't look disturbed (placing it gently over the item when it is buried), and move the dirt that you've displaced so there is no obvious "pile" near where this is buried. It causes misery and yeast infections and itchiness and all sorts of fun, but it needs to be planted near a room of the home (if you can get into a basement and hide it, all the better,) which has hot water and steam, and it has to be the target's home. I know, I know…we can't all get onto someone's property, and that makes this curse not for everyone. You don't want to be located near this thing. It has the tendency to cause yeast infections to anyone in proximity to it…so this isn't a "work it at the altar," item, and definitely DO NOT use this on a roommate you do not like. While it mostly targets the named party, I can assure you, the household all gets a dose, just not the strongest dose. For this reason, this might also suggest not using this on large apartment complexes…especially if your target is several floors up. Again, this isn't for everyone's situation, but it's both a bit juvenile (mwhahahahaha,) and non-life-threatening (unless they get a UTI and refuse all treatment, so I mean there is a small chance,) and tends to drive the target absolutely insane with discomfort and itchiness and embarrassing urinary tract complaints for some time…until they capitulate (assuming you put "terms" on your curse,) and give you what you want (I'd still dig up and destroy the item if they do,) or they locate the item and destroy it….or for about 6-12 months, depending on weather and the yeast. It can sometimes "pause" if the item winters and start up again in the spring.

If you think someone has done this curse on you, locate the jar, smash it OFF your property, take the foil and unwrap it AWAY from you, pull each pin saying the 23rd psalm (the lord is my shepherd,) each time you pull a pin, and burn the image, foil, and pins, preferably on a grill outside the home saying the 23rd psalm, then bathe in sea salt-water (or 9 or 13 holy herbs bath if you have it, – it's better), washing DOWN (head to foot), and saying the 23rd psalm at least once more as you bathe. DO NOT just attempt to use reversal magic or curse before you do this, the tin foil will reflect the magic back on you, and the salt is also holding in your influence. 😛

As I always warn, this is a curse, and it isn't nice to do. You may place this on someone who is magically more adept than you, and if you do, I assure you, they will not take it well, and may act in a much more malicious and deadly fashion. This is definitely something that if I found it in my yard (good luck, at this writing i live in a city and my "yard" is a sidewalk, lol,) I would reciprocate by placing something far worse on it's sender…and technically, I'd likely have the sender's urine in that yeast, so I easily could, and possibly with a very strong witness sample. Don't just assume your target will be ignorant…you don't put your name on this, but they might guess it's from you, and even if they aren't magically inclined, they might press trespassing charges as well. Remember, animals (especially dogs) tend to investigate any disturbed ground, so if your target has a dog, this might also not be a great curse to deploy.

Happy Hexing! :) 

~Cat