Stop Before You Put Too Much Damage On

Hey Occulties,

So, the s and the t on my laptop are currently not working but I have this nifty external keyboard for the moment, so I can get an article up ahead of schedule. 🙂 Let's hope it's the ridiculous levels of humidity as the main culprit to making the world's crappiest top of the line computer suck even more…I also suspect Mercury is retrograding all over my computer like it always does to this model, ha ha. 😉

Today might not be the most mystical or magical of articles, but it's been coming up a lot, probably as a reaction to the multiple retrogrades going on at this writing, though possibly also just because a lot of people are not aware of this…

Look, silence is a response. We've been over that in here. We've also been over that just because you want a love target to talk to you, pushing them to do so is not brilliant. In fact, pushing someone to respond to you – any someone – is not brilliant. People who feel cornered – just like any animal that feels cornered, – generally lash out, and harshly, when it becomes too much. And when it comes to love, if you can't stop contacting (or having others contact this person on your behalf,) your target, you are probably going to end up in a position where your target is so, so, so, so alienated by you, that getting them to come back is going to take more time, energy, and probable spell failure than you can endure. Do yourself a favor by not laying the damage on thicker and thicker because you MUST chat with so and so just for a second to know he or she "hasn't forgotten," you, or to "test" if they are still angry.

Chances are, if you keep texting them or calling them frequently and they respond very rarely, or not at all, that you are making them angrier. :P 

YOU NEVER EVER EVER EVER WANT TO COME OFF AS CRAZY TO A LOVE TARGET.

Like….if I have a guy who is rich, looks like Chris Hemsworth, but is acting needy and crazy and calls and texts me relentlessly about his feelings and do I still love him, and all sorts of standard desperate stuff like that VERSUS I have a guy who has a blue collar job, has OK looks but not movie-star-handsome (and has a dad-bod,) and DOES NOT call and text and act needy and desperate and overly emotional, who do you think I'd pick? The second guy. If both are my ex? The second guy. If I never dated either? The second guy. 

While we all make mistakes, unfortunately, the most off putting thing a human can do is act desperate and needy. So, if you're acting desperate, needy, pushy, demanding, etc, and trying to force a non-communicative party to keep in contact, STOP NOW. You won't be forgotten. In fact bad behavior is incredibly memorable, and doesn't often get forgotten for a long, long, long time. 

So, now that you're respecting their response of silence, and not acting pushy and needy and desperate – what do you do? Depending on the damage, you will have to do A LOT of reconciliation work. Being desperate to have them back and needing that in a week is likely not going to happen. So, shorten the amount of time you will need to wait to have them back in your life by stopping the bad behavior, giving them space and silence, and working on them. Amazing things happen, and sometimes this person comes rolling back into your life in a few weeks, but if you've done a lot of damage, it could take longer. Don't despair…while you behave as if you've moved on and you feel better without them, etc, etc…you're doing all of that spellwork covertly, and that is going to help. They may very well come back thinking you "got over your crazy phase," which is exactly what you want. Plus if you seem like you have other options available that are not them, they are going to want to make moves to make you want only them – that doesn't work great with the hugely insecure types who are too jealous all of the time, but if you have plans that don't involve them (it doesn't have to be a date with someone else,) and don't answer their texts and calls right away when they do start to come back, they tend to work harder to keep you interested.

Hopefully this has been helpful. I think I say it every Merc Retrograde, so don't feel badly if you needed it this time around. I think everyone needs this reminder at least once. 😉

I'll try to post a reconciliation article in a few days as a companion to this piece.

~Cat

Remember, all content is copyright OriginalNinjaCat and cannot be reposted or used without my express permission. If you catch someone plagiarizing me, I give rewards for telling me where to find them so I can prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. 🙂