Love/Reconciliation – does this require one spell or many? (Didn’t we just have this talk?)

Hey Occulties,

This has come up a number of times at my job in the last week or so, which means it definitely is going up in my Sunday article.

People want to know – do some-, all-, or no- love situations require "constant spellwork?"

OK, the basic "rule of thumb," with spells about is or is it not something you might need to maintain regularly (suchas setting a light once a month,) – and this for any kind of spell, really, is does this spell have a specific desired end (for example, "I get the promotion to CEO at my current company,") wherein when the desired outcome is accomplished the situation would be permanent (you don't get fired just because the spell did it's job and now fades away,) OR is it for an indeterminate object (for example, I get paid by the job, and I am already owner and CEO of my company, so my concern is sales, and if I want an increase in sales, asking no specific amount, or even that they multiply enormously, this is not a particular thing, it is an indeterminate thing, or if I say I want to be more attractive to those around me, this is not a determinate item but something I need to maintain,). 

Since that was a huge run on sentence (my 9th grade English teacher is growling from either the afterlife or old folk's home,) think of it like this with love…I want so and so back, right? Well that is specific. I want so and so to return – not any ex, not dudes that have crushed on me, not childhood or school friends of no name. That guy. So when he returns, i do not need to keep casting return to me spells. He's returned. 

Now, if I just want to attract more admirers – no one specific, – or increase the sexy feelings towards me of those around me, then I will need to keep doing work towards that end on a semi regular basis to keep that influence strong. This doesn't mean an attraction spell will make you go from warthog to supermodel then back to warthog instantly. 😉 In fact, if you look like a snapping turtle with a hangover dressed like a hobo on your best day, the spell isn't going to turn you into Chris Hemsworth, regardless. However, it will increase your magnetism around others, and continuing to regularly apply this influence will noticeably attract people to you that desire you. If you only do this work one time, the influence will grow, hit a peak for a few weeks, then fade away. The idea of doing maintenance spellwork is to keep the influence strong so you don't notice it fading.

OK, so those are 2 relatively distinct examples. In many cases, either is probably relatively obvious to most of you. Now what about something a bit more complex? OK, so if your partner has emotional or personality issues, what happens there? Can we just use work – one spell, – to cure, say, someone who has ongoing commitment issues or is narcissistic due to a bad childhood? What about someone who is emotionally reserved, or who has substance abuse issues?

None of that above is an easy fix. It starts to relate to a person's NATURE, meaning their core personality. So, if I TOTALLY HATE my personal space being invaded and get combative when anyone changes anything the way I have it in my home, but I have a partner who wants to be able to make me more flexible, is that one spell or is it ongoing?

If you guessed ongoing, you're correct. My nature tells me to keep my home as it is (it might be a bit OCD,) and most likely, this personality trait developed over a long enough time that it has almost literally become part of me. It is possible the problem requires HEALING. Perhaps a trauma caused me to feel that things must remain the same or else I am insecure. Healing is something that requires some maintenance. Just as a gaping festering wound or  a bone broken in many places takes time to heal and to be well and functioning right again, so do emotional wounds. If it's a chemical problem (some emotional problems are from nature not from the environment,) then it could be a lifetime of maintenance…and mundane medical care also.

When we work deeply on the psyche, abrupt change is not often going to net lasting results if the problem is one that sprouts from an emotional/chemical issue, or from a long ago trauma. 

Let's look at addiction issues…arguably, most addiction issues are a form of self-medication. So, while your beloved's drinking or illicit substance abuse might be causing real fights (either from the monetary cost, the fact that they are a shit while on this drug or drink, or any other reason,) the last thing (in my opinion,) that will help in a GOOD and lasting manner, is often working too quickly. Remember, spells take the path of least resistance, so if your beloved is all hopped up on those crazy pills, the fastest "detox" could be a stint in jail with some hefty legal costs. If they are at a certain point, maybe that strikes you as better than the current situation, but if they are not, healing and gently guiding towards sobriety may be far better (and more lasting.) Ask yourself what is the core reason for their substance use? Social awkwardness? Depression? Childhood trauma? Try healing the root cause…it helps a great deal. 

And a few "traumas," may, under the right circumstances, require more of a prolonged pressing on the target…sometimes with commitmentphobia, the key is building trust and a sense of safety while also keeping the love-drawing influence strong.

So how do you know what is needed? Always assess the situation. Maybe you need your ex back, and that's a matter of healing from a bad argument, but what led up to it was horrible communication and money issues. Do the reconciliation work, but also work on bettering communication, and improving your finances. If that means you need to work a few extra months after returning your ex to you on the communication (an indistinct end, requires some maintenance,) and finances (depending on your job/business, may require maintenance,) then do it. It's far easier to keep someone happy than it is to get them to come back after things have been horrid.

Not all spells require maintenance, but influences, in general (I can think of one exception, but it's almost midnight at this writing, lol,) fade. They do not just expire like Cinderella's coach turning into a pumpkin at midnight. If you have what you want (exact desire such as a person taking you out on a date, returning to you, etc,) then it is really up to you on the mundane side to maintain that situation when the spell does begin to fade. If you need a lasting influence that is not specific (attract people, make someone more communicative, etc,) or even is just slow moving (and possibly permanent, suchas with healing,) then you probably want to continually do regular work. If you feel the situation has become permanent (again, like with healing,) feel free to stop working the influence.

Now I think we recently (as in a handful of articles ago, ha ha,) had this conversation, but it came up no less than 10 times in the last week, so here it is again. 😉 Hope it helped instead of raised more questions.

Happy Spellcastin'!

~Cat

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