Hello Occulties,
While I'm sure I've posted some article (or multiple articles,) similar to this one, it would seem, were my inbox any clue (and on a day off since it is a holiday, no less,) that it would be time to post this again, so if this is repetitive to you, but you are still engaging in bad habits, you might want to give this a read.
In this article, I am going to INCLUDE checking any sort of message or status – for example, seeing if a message was "read" because iMessage will show that if the person allows a read receipt, or checking to see when someone last logged into a program which is social media-based.
Alright, so how many times have I told you to get yourself off of social media if you keep finding yourself creeping on someone's social media? Hell, I would just get off of social media just as a prophylactic measure when you start doing love work because, sadly, so many of you are so hardcore addicted to this stuff that it would probably help you on more than one level to do so…but, I know you. You're checking their instagram right now, aren't you? You're looking in SnapChat or What'sApp or Facebook or even lurking on their damn Twitter because you think you're sniffing out what is going on in their lives, or it at least makes you feel that little bit "connected," (or that's what you tell yourself), right?
Except wrong…because in 99% of cases, people using social media as their would be window into their target's life are actually merely engaging in unhelpful and unhealthy behaviors which harm their spell and offer no reassurance or real information into their target's life. Let's go over the most common "reasons" people keep checking social media, and it's real impact on their emotional state, and the spellwork being used on their behalf.
"I check my target's social media so I can know if s/he has broken up with my rival, and/or to try to figure out if s/he is seeing someone new."
I would like to just first call to attention that several dear friends of mine have gone through break ups and divorces without ever saying boo about it on social media. Heck, in more than one case, even though their partner was not in new pictures, several old pictures of their former partner remained. Had I never been privately informed (and in more than once case, more than a year later,) that this friend ended their romantic relationship, I never would have known it ended. I've known friendships that ended that neither party remarked on it, alluded to it…. So even platonic relationships ended without a mere mention. Had a buddy who broke an engagement off and it was a wild story…not one blip about it on social media, despite it being contentious to the point of police being called more than once.
So, let's presume that the vast majority of people do not discuss the break up or divorce that they are going through. A lot of them won't mention it. And the one's that do ONCE often will not make the same mistake again. It's off-putting to more than one "friend" on the friend's list, so they keep it to themselves.
It seems that most people, so far as tragedy goes, only discuss SOME (not all) personal health matters, and death of a loved one when it comes to social media. And why? Because most people only want to show the best sides of themselves. While a small group of people do hunger for pity or attention, most people want neither when it comes to their own personal tragedies.
So, from this we can easily conclude that checking to see if your rival is still your rival (or if your target has given you a new rival,) using social media is not really the most accurate gauge of this information. You'll still argue that rival's picture is present, or that you can tell by likes on pages if your target is crushing on someone new.
Alright then…when I post a new picture of myself, several people make lovey-type comments. Now, if Mr NinjaCat were a super jealous and anxious type of guy, and he rabidly checked my facebook, I'd be having to say this and that person is gay, that is a guy who always flirts with me but is married, these people are friends from college, etc, etc… Not a one of them is his rival. Well, he isn't insecure, so he doesn't get worried. You want to put the emoji with heart eyes as a reply? Go ahead. 😉 But if he were anxious, and lovesick, you better believe that now any one of those men is going to set him off with fresh jealousy. 😛 That said, I say nothing about break ups there. 😛 Like most people, you can fall out of my life, and not a soul except for you and me will ever know. That's the right way to do it. So, if you were "social media stalking" me to gauge if I'm free to see you or seeing someone else, you'd find yourself anxious and worried that I were, because people of my preferred gender say nice compliments to me and like my statuses and so forth, so how is that helpful to REALLY knowing I'm single or my relationship is good or bad? Oh, it's not?
Well, your target's page/s isn't/aren't, either. You aren't doing anything helpful. You are causing obsessive anxiety to slow your spellwork and to upset yourself, but really…social media does not accurately portray most people's personal lives. Sorry, it just doesn't. And if it does? So, you want to continue to upset yourself and worry away your spell energy, because you're slowing the outcome with your lust for results, but MAYBE you will catch something uplifting or reassuring today? I mean, let me tell you right now, if you stay off of that person's page for a few weeks, your spell will probably manifest, and you won't have spent that 2-3 weeks constantly upsetting yourself because you are not sure if your target broke things off with your rival, or you don't know if that emoji or like means something. 😛 Instead, that few weeks without stress will end with a nice surprise – your target making contact. 🙂
So, checking for "hints" your rival is out of the picture or your target is acting in some way that you feel is what comes before contacting you, etc…not helpful. It SLOWS manfiestation, while often causing confusion, unneeded stress, and upset, while also not providing much (if any) helpful information in many cases.
"Since I am blocked on social media by my target, I have friends/family check on this person for me so I can maybe know what has changed in their life."
At one time you and the target were super close, and now, here you are, cut off from seeing whatever social media posts they are making, as well as no longer talking to this person. So…you enlisted help in your stalking. I mean, (sarcasm) that isn't the least bit creepy at all. :/
If you and I were dating, and I said "No more of you," while chances are, I won't cut you off my social media, let's say I do. Now I find out you have mutual friends updating you on my statuses and stuff. Wow, that's…creepy. And i will find out. So I think your target will find out, too.
Now, if, in many cases, the best choice in reconciliation is to act like you've moved on when you have contact with the target, – and this really is, psychologically, the best thing for regaining the target's interest, acting like you're moving on, and not all wound up about them or weeping inconsolably about them, or anything like that, (what do I always say? That you should act cautiously interested in the reconciliation that your target is suggesting thanks to those spells,) – what do you think the target believes when they discover that friends and family are viewing their social media for you (or allowing you access to their social media through an unblocked account)? Do you think that is off putting? Weird?
If my mom starts creeping on your page and you haven't spoken to her in 20 years, are you wondering why she is now that you blocked me? Could you put 2 and 2 together there, and say it's probably me creeping on you? You could? It would be creepy? THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING IT TO YOUR TARGET!?
Furthermore, how many times have I told you that pretty much anything you say about a person (especially through mutual acquaintances,) gets back to that person. So, that friend who is helping could very well be harming your chances of a reconciliation, even though it is not their intention. Some years ago, when I broke things off with a boyfriend, mutual friends, about a month later, started asking me if I was dating someone…and these were people I didn't talk too all that often, maybe 2-3 times a year. I totally knew who sent them…my ex. 😉 They never said he did, but the types of info they wanted to know made it relatively clear who was really interested in this info – not this happily married man he sent, surely, it was him. 😛 So, if you want your target to know you have an army of creepers, by all means, enlist help and group stalk your target. It's going to become obvious you're all stalkers, but you just "need to know" what is going on, right? Wrong.
You will be much happier if you do not involve others in your social media stalking and/or break up, and if you just stop paying attention for 2-3 weeks, when your target reaches out thanks to your spellwork, you won't smell like a stalker. They will never know it was what you were anxiously waiting and hoping for.
"It makes me feel more connected to check on my target, ever since my target cut me off."
Similar to the above. You both had a fight, and this target didn't cut you off of their social media, so you go haunt it on a regular basis, trying to understand what is going on in his or her life. Again, this will become apparent to the person you are stalking, as well as it FEEDS obsessive behaviors which cause lust for results, and slow or even kill your spell manifestation.
I understand that it is hard to be separated from someone you love, and you want to feel connected somehow. The easy solution is to download an image of this person. Now stop looking at their social media. When you miss them, look at the image for a little bit. Yes, seriously. ;)
Because otherwise, you'll start doing dumb things like wondering if this post is about you, or about someone else, and see above – I know several people who have gone through a divorce without even marginally referring to it on their social media. So, probably, none of it is about you. 😛 Stop obsessively worrying like that. 😛 Can you imagine someone else having a three-day crying-jag over an image of someone's vacation property being posted? I can, because people do that all of the time and tell me about it. Someone is "spiting" them by posting an image of a vacation property they used to visit. There are no images of people visiting the property, just an image of the property itself, which must mean the rival (or a suspected and unknown rival) went with the target there. 😛 Does that sound a bit unhinged to you? Well, that's what people who live or die depending on what their target's social media posts are showing do to themselves. They whack themselves out over…well, nothing.
"I just want to see if my target read my message yet."
Fair enough, but once you see that, are you going to get mad if they don't reply fast enough? Not but last week, a friend of mine from home sent me a message, just like "Hi, how are you," sort of thing. I didn't see it for 4 days, although I guess it "looked" like I read it. When I finally replied he was like "Wow, I thought you hated me," and I was like "No, I literally just am seeing this because it came when I was chatting with someone else. I'm so sorry." Now, I'm not now nor have I ever been dating this fellow. He's not, to my knowledge, interested in a romantic relationship with me. Imagine if he were. He'd be a lot more hurt by my four day delay.
And this is the sort of thing which happens all of the time. A friend texts or messages, and you do get busy. You either forget the text or it goes unnoticed for a few days. If you don't give a fuck about if they LOOOOOOOVE you, if this person replies a few days later, you're probably not up in arms. 😉 In fact, if you're just friends, you probably laugh about it when they do reply. 😉 But if you're anxiously awaiting a reply, you're just strengthening that obsessive addiction and having lust for results, and probably having an apopoleptic fit when you see that – OH NOES, – they have liked this post and replied to this other person, but not returned your text/message, even though it is read.
Just stop. It's really unbecoming to have a meltdown over someone not replying to a little text. Imagine every text you forgot to reply to (and most of us have missed a reply,) turned into a gigantic emotional crying jag from the person you forgot. How much would that put you off? A lot? So don't be the person having a fit over the text someone didn't reply to (or in some cases, look at.)
"Seeing when my target logs on to a site or is active there gives me some sense of their schedule."
Well, why do you need their schedule? I mean, do you know I removed facebook from my iPad because I would be up reading on the Kindle app and it looked like I was hanging on Facebook at weird hours? Heck, even checking the time on my iPad would (you got it) look like I was up at some bizarre hour. So knowing I checked the time at 4am (and I am a restless sleeper at best,) tells you what exactly? You see I was "online" at 4, so now is it that I'm staying up all night or getting up too early? It's neither! It's me checking the time. :P
The same is true here. You don't need to know this info, and you would (I hope) not be looking for it if this person was in your life. You need to act like this person is part of your life, and that involves not anxiously stalking them to know their schedule. If I normally get up around 7:30am, and go to bed around midnight or 1am, chances are, even though we're apart, I'm still doing that. 😉 So, the same holds true for your target. You don't need their schedule. Intelligently defend why you need to know this person's schedule, and it can't be to "reassure" you that it is still the same all these 2 whole weeks you've been broken up.
All you are doing is justifying making yourself obsessively worried and stalkerish, and not for any good reason.
"It's not my fault. It came into my newsfeed."
Fair enough, been there myself. There are these fabulous options to see less of someone in your newsfeed or to mute them altogether. You may wish to put those restrictions on this person's account to avoid any of the above behaviors.
Look, kiddos, I realize that social media is an addictive thing, and that it has turned us all into a world of stalkers. I actually had a client give me shit not even ten days ago because she'd sent me an email 2 weeks previously, and I had updated my blog without giving her a reply. Well, I had no memory of the email she sent, and she never said "Hey, I sent this, can you reply," instead fuming that I had the "audacity," to update my blog (part of my job) without having sent her a reply to a singular email. Well, mistakes happen, and I wasn't ignoring her. She was not accurately gauging my intentions (or lack thereof) towards her by lurking on my blog. Instead, she whipped herself into an angry outburst, while I, entirely confused where it had come from, because I'd heard no complaint whatsoever, was blindsided by her even being upset with me when she finally gave into the product of her obsessive thoughts as to what I must be doing while ignoring her. It's unhealthy behavior to have that sort of thing happening.
Hopefully this reminder slows some of these bad behaviors I see so much of, but it's been an increasing problem, so I won't hold my breath. 😉
~Cat
Because I'm a fan of irony, follow my Twitter on a social media hating post to never miss another post!
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Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 
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