Irrelevant Questions, Vexatious Behaviors, Oh My!

Hey Occulties,

Wouldn't it be lovely if I had the time to not focus on what is review to most of my readers? Well, enough people are too lazy to read the archives and since there are only a limited amount of hours in the day, and repeating myself to individuals over and over is very time consuming, it is just easier to review here than to expect the basic average modern person to do any due dilligence and scan the archives for the answers themselves. 😉

So, let's start with something the vast majority of my readers over the age of 25 should have figured out already on their own… Whether or not someone loves you, that they do love you does not mean they will come back, it doesn't mean they find you attractive or unattractive, it doesn't mean that they will treat you kindly, or be true to you. They can love you very much and not want to be with you. They can love you very much and still not love that extra 50lbs you put on and be turned off by your physical body. They can love you very much and treat you like shit and lie to you and cheat on you. So… "DOES HE/SHE LOVE ME?" is the most pointless question that people ask a psychic…because 98% of the time or so, the answer is yes, but that doesn't mean they will treat the asker how the asker would wish to be treated or how that person feels someone who loves them should treat them. I say it very often, but I love lots of people, and it doesn't mean I have any intention or inclination of ever dating them again, or even having a conversation with them again. 

Next, most of what goes on on someone's social media is not worth a mouse-fart in a wind storm. I am honestly so fucking sick and tired of discussing instagram, and twitter, and facebook, and what'sapp, and snapchat (which, one day last week, is ALL that I discussed for an entire 16 hours,) that I could scream, but it isn't just because I am old and hate social media. No, I actually am relatively active on Facebook. I probably show up there a handful of times each week. What I don't do are things like: create fake accounts to see if someone who blocked me is chatting about me, look at any of my ex-boyfriend's pages (don't care, but I am still friends with them on social media,) try to figure out if a passive aggressive post is about me (don't care, and if that person is just doing that for a reaction, I wouldn't give them the benefit of having one,) or post long, self-pitying posts about how so and so hurted my feelings. I mostly post funny pictures, actually. I keep away from posting political stuff (because I know what I believe and don't give a fuck if it matches someone else's view,) and I try not to post too much about my personal life (because anyone who doesn't know about it already isn't close enough to know about it through social media.) If you are spying on social media, and especially creating fake profiles and so forth, then…if you are a grown ass adult, ask yourself why you are behaving like someone who is just going through puberty. I mean, if you're 12-15, sure, that's probably pretty normal stuff, but if you're 30+, it definitely is not. 

Look, I get it. There are people older than I am who have so little experience with life that they are emotionally 13 or 14, even if they are intellectually older. There are people younger than I am who act more mature than I do. That said, if you have any self respect and you are old enough to have completed a bachelor's degree, then do yourself a favor and outgrow social media drama today. If social media is pushing you into histrionics, just shut it down for a few weeks. Seriously. You'll feel a lot better. I don't care if he put a heart emoji on someone's post, or if she put a kissy face on someone's picture. You shouldn't care, either. (hell, you shouldn't be covertly stalking both of their pages to the point where you would even know such info.) Let us NOT devolve into a society that believes emoji placement is worth a week-long crying jag, okay? Please?

It really is a piss poor gauge of what is going on in someone's life anyhow. How many people put out a clear and accurate image of themselves on social media? Or do they try to make themselves seem more awesome than they are? People try to seem awesome and happy and stuff most of the time? Yes they do. Even when miserable.

But I've been over that social media thing so many times recently that it is ridiculous. 

Instead, let us move on to the value of histrionics and melodrama… Basically it amounts to this – at best, you are just working yourself up and wasting energy. So, at best, you are still not accomplishing anything of value. Of course, what also happens a lot of the time if you engage in melodramatics and histrionics is making other people think you're insane, making your target afraid of you, ruining your spellwork, and…well, is there a benefit to making people think you're mentally unhinged and obsessive? I can't think of one, honestly. You won't win anyone over with this behavior…it's very off putting. I mean, I am not talking about a normal reaction to an actual personal tragedy – did a loved one die? Did your home and/or possessions burn up or get stolen? Were you just hospitalized for a major illness? Of course you would be upset in all of those cases, and I do not mean "melodrama" or "histrionics" if you're upset after being traumatized…but if you are having a meltdown because someone didn't reply to a text, you are probably going way overboard. 

Look, I understand how you can get to a point where you're having a crying jag over something ridiculous like a poop emoji, but I also know that once you get to that point, you need to take a step way back from whatever you're freaking out about, because you're at a point where the situation is making you crazy and there is no value in continually examining the situation or dwelling on it. You need to MOVE PAST that situation, and let it go. This doesn't mean "give up," it means that you need to accept the situation and heal some so you can have what you want. If I fall into a quivering mess because my ex is curt in a reply to me, – and he's that way because he had a shit day at work, not because of me or anything  I did, – I am not going to help my situation at all if I wanted that man back when I hugely overreact and become an emotional mess. Lucky for me, I don't want my ex back (any of you – sorry gents,) but I can say when I have wanted one back, acting like the martyr for love or like I was going to fall apart over the littlest things did not help me at all if I was engaging in such behaviors. 

And not least of all, this constant spying and obsessiveness and meltdowns over a ton of nothing are LUST FOR RESULTS and are HARMING YOUR ACTIVE SPELLWORK.

Overthinking, worry, melodrama…all this shit is useless. I mean, I realize I am beating a dead horse here, because no matter how much I try to drill anything into anyone's noggin by repeating myself ad nauseum, I am still dealing with this shit all day every day, and people seem to think it's harmless self pity melodrama bullshit that is part of my job to deal with.

It isn't part of my job. I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm a spellcaster, I'm a spiritual advisor, and I am not here to care for your mental health problems. 

Don't get me wrong – just looking at the last 3 days of email, I have over 125 infractions on my rules going on there (like you can be fired for breaking the contract you agree to in order to work with me, and people are just breaking that left and right as if it is nothing at all), so I am certainly not unadvised that people are too lazy and self indulgent to even take the 3 minutes to read their contract to avoid violating my terms of service and client agreement…let's not even get into that many people just can't manage to follow simple instructions (like stay off of social media, and don't stalk or fight with your target,) because I know today's society encourages that people bask in their own pathetic learned helplessness, as if this is some sort of awesome consolation prize for having a crappy time of things, when in reality, it is more an addiction and very harmful to leading a happy or productive life. 

Since I'm certain by this point, more than one person is sobbing and thinking I wrote this article only about them (not at all…it's December, and my job is awful around the holidays,) let me just say…. The problems going on – this is all really easy stuff to fix. You can make your life better by not telling yourself that it is okay that you created that fake profile, or saying "Wow, if someone else texted me an alien emoji, I would never have spent the last 2 weeks trying to understand what it meant. I should probably stop obsessing over this because it isn't healthy that I am."

And look…if someone loves you but still treats you rotten, realize that maybe they always will. I am a big believer that just because a jerk loves you, that it doesn't make them NOT A JERK. I have experienced first hand, and even through clients, that making a jerk love you just means someone who acts like a stupid jerk to you now loves you. Doesn't make them not a jerk. That's something to consider when you get so upset that a jerk keeps hurting you and professing their love at the same time…well, they're a jerk. You do not have to stay with this jerk. You don't even have to acknowledge their existence. You can love them and not have them in your life at the same time. It's OK. People do it all of the time. 

While I am not a psychiatrist, I can honestly say, my observation is that this depressive anxious obsessive behavior like that described above is a reaction to a feeling like being out of control of a situation you want to have some control of, but the thing is, if you keep stalking on social media (or even worse, creating fake profiles to harass and/or stalk,) you are not putting yourself "more in control," but instead are desperately grasping at straws as you slip farther out of control of the situation. If you want to feel in control, you need to get in control of yourself. To do that, you need to stop acting in ways that you subconsciously must realize are not healthy. Once you get control of yourself, you will feel SO MUCH BETTER…and you won't be paying me $70 for the honor of discussing the meaning of an emoji for a half hour on the phone. 😛

Sorry if this came off as a bit harsh, but every December, without fail, I deal with some sort of mass hysteria, most likely brought on by the holidays, and it just isn't healthy for either of us. If I can reach even 4 people with this post, I will know I have done my job.

An actually-fun article is coming up next. 😉 I know you guys and gals probably need it after this.

~C