Surviving this Craptastic Mercury Retrograde

Hello Occulties,

No, it wasn't your imagination – even the Mercury retrograde deniers admitted that Mercury retrograde has been pretty harsh. And since I've told many of my clients this – though several did not listen, – I will tell you as well. Mercury went retrograde in Pisces which basically means a lot of people are going to talk shit. It doesn't matter if you're innocent, – shit will be flung. And what you must do is RISE ABOVE IT AND SAY NOTHING. I know, I know, it's very hard not to react to stupid gossip, but trust me here, this is the solution. 

I have noticed, on a personal level and also among my clients, that the Mercury Retrograde "Stupids" are also very strong. This is like forgetting your pin number on a debit card that has been the same for years, or asking someone the same question that they just answered (only to be mortified when they start answering again, usually while looking at you like you're very stupid.) There really is no cure for the Stupids…I'm reasonably sure that these come with Mercury retrograde so that we all feel like our Mom for a moment and are nicer to her for that (like when you made fun of  your mom for asking where her glasses were and they were on her head? Mercury Rx Stupids can make that happen for you!) The best thing to do is to just try to double check everything and think before you  open your mouth, which is pretty good advice for every day anyhow.

But let's not forget the Mercury Rx Technology Fuckery – for example, Mercury Rx can actually make your email and bank account go INSANE. As much as I love using plastic over cash (what the hell is that dirty paper money good for again?) you REALLY should  take money out and hold on to it during Mercury Rx because now is the time people have "bank errors" all over the place. You don't want to be stuck with $3 and some change while the bank mails you a new card, (trust me, I have been this person, and it is HORRID,) and this astrological funtime is well known for things like: getting your credit/debit card stolen, bank weirdly adding and subtracting things  from your balance that somehow normalize a few days later (so it only happens when it's inconvenient), payments getting reviewed for "security reasons" when you have done nothing new or different, and my all time favorite, "delayed payment" from people who owe you money. Oh, and on top of that, keep checking that spam email box – because whatever email you're looking for is almost definitely in there, OR it's hanging out in limbo for  a few hours or days before it  gets to you. So during this  time, carry some "emergency" cash, double  check that you  paid all of your electronic bills, and keep checking your spam box for emails you think are missing.

But look, it isn't all bad, kids. You know what Mercury Rx is really good for? RE-ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATION! I mean, it's also good for other stuff like renegotiating home loans and stuff (because a RETROGRADE means things from your past which are under the planet's sphere of influence are re-examined and can be re-built, but it's not a good time to start NEW things which are under that planet's influence,) but I know my readers…y'all totally want to talk to your ex right now.

You can also use it to mess with your enemies! 🙂 Did you totally and completely want someone to start fighting and fussing with someone else? Want weird bank errors to plague your enemies? Guess who's on your side!? Mercury retrograde! 🙂

So see, it isn't all bad. It's only a few more weeks. If you can't use it to your advantage, lock yourself in your home, and enjoy Netflix for a few weeks….that is, if Mercury retrograde isn't messing with your ability to stream Netflix.

~C