Q&A: Terms and Conditions

Hey Occulties,

This came into my inbox today, and since it's an interesting topic, and one I think more people should consider with spellwork, I figured I'd present it to all of you. Many thanks to the reader who allowed me to answer her question here. I've reworded it for context and to strip it of any identifying information in respect for my reader's privacy.

Q: If I want someone back, but I don't want them to come back to me in a specific way, is it possible to work that into my spell? Can you make rules for spells which prohibit certain types of manifestation?

A: Yes, you can be very exact about what you do or do not want to happen, although the more complicated you make it, the harder it is for the spell to manifest. 

So, let's say that you want a car. That's all you spellcast for, that a car come into your life entirely free of charge, no other details given. Well, that might manifest as a drunk driver wrapping a car around a tree in your yard one night, and there you go, it's in pieces and won't work, but you have a free car. It might also manifest as say, your brother wanting to be rid of his car to get a new one, and feeling generous, instead of doing a trade in, he gives the old car to you. But then it might also happen that a friend with a real beat up car pulls up to your house, the car dies in the driveway, and the friend says "If you can fix it you can have it – hell, you can have it," and now you have a car that is probably never going to run again…but it's free. All of these – and lots more – are possible manifestations of "getting a free car." 

Remember, spells take the path of least resistance to manifest, and so the likelihood of getting a NICE free car would be much lower than getting a horrible rotten broken down mess of a free car, because…well, that's a valuable item. If the manifestation is taking the easiest route to get to you, you might want to consider expanding on what you want regarding this car.

So, with that in mind you do another spell, and now you ask for a hunter green Toyota Tacoma (not even sure if that is still a model they make, ha ha,) from 2016, with no rust or body damage, which will cost you no more than $5000, and has never been owned by more than one person and it has a leather interior. And now you have the opposite problem. Let's presume for a moment that, within a 30 mile radius, there are only 3 vehicles that are 2016 Toyota Tacomas with leather interiors. 2 have body damage, and one has had 2 owners. So, if we broaden to a 50 mile radius, we find there are 2 cars that meet your standards, excluding no one will sell them at a loss. Furthermore, they are not advertising these vehicles for sale or looking for buyers, so for them to find you or vice versa would be a really difficult thing. But you will not be deterred. Your spell must succeed. You broaden your search to all of the USA and find your exact vehicle, and a seller willing to take so little, but it's at an auction 3000 miles away, and you either need to finance someone bringing the car to you (and going to the auction for you) or go yourself. Did your spell fail!?

No, the problem there is that you are being too picky. First you wanted just a free car, and now you want something that is much rarer than "a car." 

So, now taking that in mind, you cast one last spell. You want a green truck in good shape with less than 150k miles on it, and it can only have one owner, and must be no older than 2009, and for sale for $5000 or less. Within a month, you find a very nice, green Ford Ranger, 2010 model, something which had previously only been driven by a rather elderly driver around town, in great shape with 75k miles on it. The original owner's son is selling the vehicle as he is moving his parents closer to him and neither of them drive anymore. He tells you if you can pay him $4000, you can have it. 

If you look at all of these examples, being NOT PICKY ENOUGH can, at times, invite disaster, although it is likely to manifest more quickly as it has several available outcomes. However, being too picky makes it almost impossible for the spell to manifest, and it also seems to take a lot longer to get to manifestation. Having a balanced idea of what you want without being overly choosy brings "better" outcomes, while also not creating a situation where due to a lack of possible routes of manifestation there are several problems with manifestation. Let's apply this to a relationship.

You say "I want (person's name) to come back to me." Nothing else, just that this person come back to you. You cast a spell with this as your only command. The person shows up the next day to drop off a few of your things. Without speaking, they return to their vehicle to drive home, only to realize they left one of your belongings in their car, and they return to you, handing you this item. Then they leave. 

Well, they came back to you. Not because they wanted a RELATIONSHIP with you, which is what you want from them, but the spell still followed your command. 

So now you overract, and as your command you say that (Person's name) must come to you desiring to reunite and rekindle your relationship within two weeks, that they must insist you move back in, and that they be wearing (specific outfit,) and that they dream about you constantly and that they won't stop talking about how much they miss you to shared friends and that they also feel terrible guilt for all the pain you have suffered. 

I really hope my long-term readers are rolling their eyes at all of the mistakes in that. So, first off, the fact you insist that this all takes place in 2 weeks means it will probably fail at the outset. Assuming your ex is mad enough to be moving you out of the shared home, and assuming this has been brewing a very long time (the break up, the resentment,) you are probably asking for something relatively Herculean in nature that they would be begging you to return so quickly. It does happen, but I would say you would want to be more generous in timing, and you also want to avoid a FAIL DATE, which I described in a recent article so I will not delve into again. 

Even if we nix out the date, there are other problems. Who is to say this person remembers their dreams? Why are you complicating things with a specific outfit? Does this person feel as strongly as you do about the connection of this outfit to your relationship (honestly, there's a chance, but probably not)? Is this person the type of person to go on and on to shared friends about you? If they have already said a lot of lousy things about you, are they going to feel conflicted about having to embarrass themselves by saying the opposite things mere weeks later? I could keep going on, but this is more likely than not to just FAIL. 

So, what is it you REALLY WANT? Well, you want to move back in, and you want them to want to try to work things out as well. So, the command would be more along the lines of "(Person's name) forgives me and reconciles with me, seeks to rebuild our relationship, and wants me to move back in with them." It's not overly complicated, and it is very clear. 

But the original question was could you have someone come back in a specific way…I would say yes, but be very leery of asking it to happen in a specific way. If I want (person) back, I need to be clear why it is so necessary that they would reconcile with me in a particular way. Most of the time it is not for any really good reason. It's just as good to have this person want to reunite because they find themselves missing me, as it is for them to run into me and be overwhelmed with desire and love for me that they had been suppressing. Having a desire to have someone beg you to come back versus just suggesting it's a good idea might have more to do with your ego than anything else. If it's contrary to the person's nature, it will also be harder to make it happen as so. 

Now, if you're saying can you "prohibit" a specific type of manifestation, then this is something I see more in curses (example: "I want (target) to suffer horribly, both mentally and socially, but to be free of any physical damage or harm,") than love but yes, if there is an outcome that is absolutely repellent, you can stipulate that the spell not manifest through that route.

Hopefully this was enlightening!
~Cat

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