Hello Occulties,
As many of you have guessed, a lot of the requests I get are for love problems. It's probably why I even wrote a book of love spells and love magic…because I deal with it so damn much. 😛 If this is review for you, please feel free to give it a skip over, but for those of you looking for some guidance, let's chat, because I've got a few spell articles being posted up this weekend (they take the longest to write, and one of them is going to be in the love/recon category.)
So, let's start with question I get frequently – Is it possible something is too-far-gone to fix?
In theory, no, but in reality…. I have seen something come to a point where I would not want to accept the person's request because the situation is such that the probability of success is low regardless of how well the client follows my instructions, and other times the problem is that the client cannot or will not commit to following instruction OR they feel it is an "easy fix" and do not agree that the AMOUNT of work that needs to be done is feasible. Sometimes it even is a case where they are opposed to the type of work needed to fix the problem.
Let's try 2 fictional "cases" (and NO this is not anyone I have ever worked for. If you see a similarity to yourself here, please keep in mind that neither of the below is entirely unique, and it's not based on any particular person. It is, in fact, a conglomeration of people with similar cases that I've seen over the years.)
So, let's say Client A comes to me, and he is looking to reconcile his ex wife. Though the divorce just became final, they are on good terms, but the romantic/sexual aspect of the marriage ended 3 years previous, and they have been separated for at least 2 years. He feels that he is a changed man and that the problems that caused the split are no longer a problem. (This is a very common thing to tell me when the relationship, for all intents and purposes, ended years previously.) He feels that, because they are friendly towards each other, that his desire to reignite the romantic relationship should not be difficult for spellwork to fix.
Client B comes to me seeking to reconcile her ex boyfriend. She has been broken up with him for approximately 4 weeks, but the relationship had been proverbially "circling the drain" for about 2 months prior to the break up. After they broke up, she became very unstable, and did things like showed up at his home crying and demanding he listen to her, as he had blocked her on social media and on his phone. While he initially tolerated the behavior, the last time she showed up at his home he told her if she did this again, he'd call the police. That was a week ago. She is beside herself and wonders if anything will ever be fixed here.
Both of these situations are bad. Very bad.
Client A is blind to the fact that his past history with his wife has basically solidified her decision not to return. He has a very glib idea of how close she is to wanting more than to be pleasant with him. While one could definitely do work to draw up feelings of love and lust in his ex wife, she has clearly moved on and is not indecisive in the least about her decision to remain outside of a romantic relationship with him. There probably is less of a need for reconciliation – it does not seem like either party harbors anger, although it wouldn't hurt to apply it, – so if the suggested route of "love drawing and passion (lust) drawing" is applied what is the likely outcome? Why is that not going to cut it? Well, in my experience, in cases like these, the work is apt to manifest as some flirtatious talk and a warmer friendship, but not anything near to what he is seeking. If he just wants "One Spell," he is sadly mistaken to believe that is all that is required. In fact, the likely pathway to success (or what he considers success, so a return to a romantic relationship) requires a rather nasty bit of trickery indeed, and requires a bit more work than what he wants (it would be a few different types of work) and some dark work as well. If he refuses that route, she will continue to be friendly, to seek him out for little text chats and be super bubbly, but she is not LIKELY to seek or accept a romantic entanglement with him. Now, let's say he wanted to do the work himself so he tries every love and lust drawing there is. While she becomes much much more friendly, any time he suggests something romantic, she backs off and is clearly giving him a signal to show that she is not interested in that.
A bunch of you are like "Why? He's nice to her, the problems are clearly over, and they were on good terms? Why is she not acting romantically?"
Well, OK, so what's happened here is when she ended the marriage, she had a long time to accept why she did, and come to terms with the fact that this was the best decision for her. She's quite comfortable with her decision. It was not based on impulse. It was based on years of observation and consideration. And what's worse? They have a totally functional comfortable situation as friends so she has no reason to change that. Their romantic pairing was disastrous. Maybe it was from his own bad behavior, but she had years of enduring that bad behavior. So, this platonic pairing is comfortable and harmonious. Even if she desires sex from him, that would disrupt this much better pattern, so she does flirt a bit, but she is strongly holding to NOT GIVING IN TO HER SEXUAL URGES. If she misses him romantically, she reminds herself that when he was romantic towards her, the relationship itself was much worse than it was now that it is platonic.
Like I said, the "solution" is to make the target (the wife) UNCOMFORTABLE with her current situation, and to have her view a romantic pairing with him as COMFORTABLE, and BETTER THAN her current state. That requires some very unkind work, most likely. First of all, he'd have to become aloof and disinterested. This has to be somewhat established…just have him back off for a few weeks as the first part takes hold. Assuming he can show that behavior (many people can't,) the next part is to make her life apart from him not comfortable. To make people cold and uncaring towards her. To make her job insecure or to make it disappear. To give her a bit of a curse, really. Yep, I know, ugly stuff. Now once he's extracted himself and his support is gone, and her world is falling apart (and make sure to give a really good knock), then start sending the love work, also make her obsess that he can make her feel better, that he is safe. That he is a great partner. Make sure you've squashed all possibility of another man swooping in to "save the day" by keeping all rivals at bay. Intensify the work. Work the love spells at least once a week. Make sure she reaches out. Be the support, but don't flirt until she does. Help her put her life together the closer she comes and have her being romantic and flirty, and give more and more as she gives in more and more to her urges.
And after all that? Well, it might get them back together. It would require intense attention and work, but that is the route which is the highest chance for success there. He thinks it's one spellcasting. In reality, it's a focused treatment of far more than one spell, and working on the situation to move the target into a mindset where he can have her, and then working the love work only when she is in a distressed state.
I assure you, most people like Client A will say "Nope, I will not cause this person harm." They will reject it. And it's a very hard thing to manifest what they want IF you used the route I suggest, but nearly impossible if you do not.
Moving on to Client B – we can see there is a lot of damage here. This is very bad, and no one will disagree. Furthermore Client B may be unstable. She will likely have horrible lust for results, and is likely to have severe, spell-killing behavior problems. She also has stated to herself or to me that she doesn't believe that things can be fixed. That's a huge red flag. If someone says "Well, it's fucked anyway and it can't be fixed," then basically they will be self-defeating throughout the process.
But let's give it the old college try…. So for starters, she needs to STOP CONTACTING THE TARGET AT ALL. She also needs to IMMEDIATELY CEASE DISCUSSING THE TARGET WITH ANYONE. She needs to probably stop using social media as she may use this as a form of stalking. Assuming there is compliance here, don't think one spell will fix this all. Oh. Hell. No.
First both parties need a lot of HEALING work. The boyfriend may be at a point where he is too afraid to ever engage with her again, but I've seen some surprising reunions despite crazy behaviors. If they are young, the likelihood of reconciliation is much greater than if they are middle aged or older. Client B needs to be calm and accept the situation. There needs to be ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT from her UNTIL HE MAKES CONTACT, at least until she is calm, collected, and has returned to a reasonable state of mind…which even then, it might not be when she decides she is "Totally okay now," so don't think you can calm down for a day and then give a person a text because you felt like it. I would STRONGLY recommend professional intervention in a case like this, but if she's doing the work herself, do healing on herself and on him at least once a week for an entire month, and no contact. Also, she needs to work on improving herself. If she wants to lose weight, now is the time to hit the gym. If she just wants to feel better, hey get some new shoes, or get your hair done – something where she feels she is a better her. In a professional setting, the healing would probably be as long, but as a third party is doing the work, it would be up to the practitioner to get a sense of where both targets are in the healing process. Is everyone feeling a lot better by week 2 or 3? If yes, move on to the next step.
Being very very careful not to have the petitioner impacted by it, use obsession work to make the boyfriend begin to feel he was wrong, that he should not have been so cold or pushed her away, that his behavior caused her to act in the way that she did. This should be worked for about a week by itself, and then introduce love/passion drawing work as well, again, trying only to induce this in the TARGET NOT THE PETITIONER. If doing this work for herself (which can be difficult because it could draw the obsession up in her and cause anxiety, but I've seen people do it,) work obsession one week, then with love/passion drawing additionally for another 2-3 weeks. Now wait.
You read that right.
Presumably the target will want to apologize or say something. This is not a perfect science, and she may need to make contact. If the target makes contact before she has to do so herself, here's where another difficult hurdle lies…
See, properly, she should act friendly but somewhat aloof when he contacts her. If she is really hardcore, she's even going to wait until he's apologizing correctly… So "Sarah, I'm sorry if I was cold but you were really overboard with how you acted and so I don't want you to respond," means DO NOT RESPOND TO THAT. I swear, 85% of people will respond because he said something, but really you should not. NORMALLY he will text a second time within a few days (assuming he's said something like the above,) as the work intensifies and something like "Sarah, I'm sorry if how I acted made you so upset. When I saw how you were, I just retreated emotionally and it made things worse, please forgive me." So at this point Client B should respond, something like "Well, Brett, I'm sorry I became so emotional. I hope I didn't scare you too much and that you are doing well." From here it should slowly progress, with him texting or communicating with increasing interest and perhaps flirtation and her (hopefully) reciprocating in kind with equal levels of interest and flirtation. At no time should she act desperate or throw herself at him. Neither should she bring up the previous relationship unless he does, or grovel or apologize. From there spellwork should be done to additionally stabilize the relationship.
That's a lot of work, and that's if everything goes to plan, which, if you've ever dealt with Client B or ARE Client B, you know that's unlikely because Client B has some issues. Maybe they are transitive issues, maybe they are chemical issues that need medication, maybe a lot of things. But Client B? Client B does stuff like this… "Cat, I know you said don't text him but I texted him 'are u still mad?' last night, and when he didn't reply I said 'I love you.' I think he maybe blocked me." Yeah, we're doing obsession work, so you might have just pushed us back by weeks.
And the above also assumes "Brett" the ex is going to man up and text. One of the most difficult things is to get the target to break the ice. They've been trained all their life not to come back. Their friends and family are reinforcing that they should not do so if they are asking for advice. This is why working with a professional can be helpful. A professional is not in love with Brett/target. A professional does not get freaked out or upset by the silence between the petitioner and target. A professional can exercise the patience that many petitioners lack.
So, let's assume all is going according to plan, and finally enough time has passed where we might assume the target wants to make contact but is afraid to. This isn't going to be 2 weeks after you begin. This is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 45-60 days (sometimes a bit more) since the petitioner started the workings. Assuming enough time has passed (I'm giving the stink eye to several of you right now, you know who you are,) the petitioner might send a text, and this has to be DEVOID of sorry, I love you, or anything else. Something like "Brett, I still have several of your clothes over here. If you want to pick them up or have me drop them off, please let me know. I can even leave them with a friend if you are uncomfortable seeing me. Thanks." If no opportunity like that exists, I have suggested a large "mass greeting" (like MERRY CHRISTMAS!) on a group text, or sending a funny picture. Usually this will give the target the idea that they can communicate. Hopefully, the target then starts talking, and the petitioner should keep a keen eye on how the conversation goes. No bringing up the past unless the target does, no guilt tripping, and if possible, end the conversation first. Let them keep coming to you, and as they flirt, respond in kind but never in a greater amount than the target, eventually it should culminate in a reconciliation of the relationship. At this point, do work to stabilize the relationship.
Again, this is very difficult for Client B to navigate. The biggest problem is Client B. The second biggest problem? The amount of damage after the break up. If you act "too crazy," the target may be willing to maintain a friendship, even be a bit flirtatious but will avoid ever engaging in a romantic partnership again. In those cases, you may actually morph the situation into "Client A's" situation. BUT, if you follow the directions above, then it may not be "beyond repair" it's just going to be "one hell of a fix."
People sometimes ask me, "Cat why do you offer 5 weeks or even 15 weeks of spellwork?" Well, the above should offer some idea. Because people bring me problems which are the equivalent of fixing a trainwreck of damage, and realistically just casting one spell once will not bring the desired result. It's also why I say "NO" to some cases…I just won't be able to fix it, and I've revived relationships which were harder to revive than a three day dead corpse. 😛 Many people don't want to commit to something that is equal to a few months in some cases of work, but realistically, it can't be fixed overnight. If the problem is severe enough, then the treatment to fix the problem requires far more work than say… Reconciling a couple who broke up without a huge fight because they were having a few communication problems.
I hope that was enlightening! And if you need my assistance with your reconciliation troubles (either you want me to help you form a plan that you can undertake yourself or you want me to fix your failed relationship,) feel free to contact me!
~Cat
UPDATED TO ADD: A keen-eyed reader saw that "Client B" had been blocked by her target on social media and on his phone. How, then, can she expect to communicate with him if enough time has passed and he hasn't reached out? Well, in many cases, the target will unblock social media and/or their phone when the spellwork has made them want contact. I've seen it numerous times. In a "worst case scenario," you can use an email (usually) to make contact with a "reluctant" target if you haven't been unblocked, but interestingly enough, I also see the petitioner "getting unblocked" by the target as a sign that the spellwork is working. Hopefully that clarifies things. Thank you for catching that, super-awesome reader! 🙂
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Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 
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