Calm Before the Storm?

Hey everyone,

It probably doesn't surprise you but I love making people laugh. So I do hope this puts a smile on a few of your faces. If not, well…it is some sort of pseudo Mercury retrograde right now, and that's annoying, so I understand you being grumpy.

I realize we can't all be facebook friends…which I'm sure makes some of you sad because no doubt you wonder what sort of horrible fashion choices I've made in the past (many many bad fashion choices,) but I guess the following post I made is cracking people up, and I literally just had this conversation with Mr NinjaCat.

John: What's wrong?
Me: No one is having any problems lately. I wish everyone would start fucking up their lives so I could make more money.
John: There's the twisted woman I fell in love with.  

To be fair, I like that people are happy, and believe me, NOT waking up to 150 emails of pure panic and mayhem is actually a good thing. It's that it isn't a lifestyle I'm accustomed to. When you spend a good part of your life taking care of other people's problems, it seems bizarre whenever people are all happy and getting along… And if I am being fair, I AM the reason that several people are in a "good place" right now emotionally or in their relationship. (It was my pleasure to help!)

I mean, as far as money goes, we aren't going to starve or live on the street so I'm sure we're OK, it's more like something is missing if someone ISN'T having an absolute meltdown. You don't realize how acclimated you are to meltdowns until you're like "What didn't happen today…what made today seem, well, quiet?" and it's that someone didn't freak out about something. 

On the upside I have plenty of time to write my book and articles and so forth, so the lull is helping with that. But I'm not sure if I should congratulate everyone on not panicking and having really functional lives and relationships right now. I mean, I'm proud of all of you, and that's great…but is this some calm before an impressive storm? Are you all tricking me and then letting me get comfortable with this actual free time, only to take it away? I mean, this might surprise a few of you, but email has always been the time consuming jerk of my job. On average, I do about 8-9 hours of emails a day. That isn't a typo. 

It isn't that sales are down (they are steady, actually), and it isn't that I have nothing to do…I am just suspicious of this mysterious "free time" thing from there being a lack of emails. Is my email broken? I even emailed myself. Free time is a real thing? I thought that stuff only existed in books!?

Mr NinjaCat noticed because it's been making me weird, and I've even told him that I've spoken to several people (like I said previously) who tend to have somewhat tumultuous lives, and they are all reporting contentedness. How odd. There are some bizarre money and bank errors…but…well, what is it? Why are you all so happy!? This isn't normal!? Send me something difficult and messy to fix. I question a reality in which people are balanced and happy. 

A normal day means someone is going to cry about an emoji or an instagram post or ask me the deeper meaning of the text "I'll be there at seven," it means I will spend several hours trying to calm someone down because they had a bad dream. Because that's what I do. 

And so it hit me, when I was having that convo with Mr NinjaCat… I miss having a high maintenance client or three. My dream of no high maintenance clients has been realized, and it is terrifying to me. 

 

In all honesty, I'm really glad everyone is doing pretty well. In March I was pretty convinced that there was something in the water supply because people were just acting really freaked out and frazzled. I will say that much of the above is meant humorously, and it actually has been awesome to have time to write and to catch up instead of dealing with several multiple meltdowns at once. 

I don't mind the occasional meltdown or emergency though, so if you need me, you know where to find me.

I guess I better finish that recon spell article I've been working on. I'm sure some of you are sick of hearing about me.  See what happens when you start giving me free time – I actually do things like talk to people and have introspective moments and stuff. That's not cool. Hahaha. 

~Cat

PS- Yes, this is an admission that I LOVE difficult cases. I absolutely do. The harder it is to fix, and the weirder the predicament you find yourself in is, the happier I am to help. You should also know that when I did the "Case study" both of those cases are 100% fiction, and yet several people were like "You blogged about me?" and I DID NOT. I get cases like both all of the time. It's because I love fixing difficult problems…they are the best.