Out of the Friends-With-Benefits Zone!

Hey there Occulties,

I hope everyone who celebrates had a fantastic holiday "week," – or at least here, up in the Northeastern USA, it was definitely a full week. A lot of people celebrate Canada Day here, too. 😉 Mr NinjaCat is off of work until I think around the 21st, so just as a reminder – while it is always my policy to have me call you, please DO NOT CALL MY LANDLINE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES because you are apt to disrupt Mr NinjaCat. When he's not working, he's a lazy bum who likes to take naps on the couch. This means that everyone in Portland Maine has already annoyed the feck out of him, since all of those obnoxious confirmation calls for things like the vet and the salon have already awoken my napping spouse. 😉 As I answer some or none of those (sorry businesses,) I have been trying to curb them for a few weeks, but with little success. Here he was thinking I spent all day in pleasant silence. Ah, no, there is a constantly singing bird and a frequently ringing phone…but let's try to let him nap, ha. 😉 He is lucky to have this much time off, – his boss is off for a wedding or something before their next job. :P 

But my husband getting a nice long (but unpaid) vacation has not stopped business for me, so even though business has been pretty strong throughout the holiday (I assume that alcohol and Mercury retrograde have a hand in it), I figured I'd take some time out to get a nice article out for you – singing bird and ringing phone in the background the whole time, ha ha. 

So a big focus lately at work has been dealing with a "difficult" or "stubborn" target. Now, I know I've said this before, but, in my experience, the most troublesome target is not the "stubborn" one, but the "wishy washy" kind, or the one who is "afraid to rock the boat." Stubborn people are at least decisive people. Indecisive people, people who don't like to take a lot of action? They are influenced by your work, but then they don't want to make waves by reacting. Ick! Of course, as I've said before, also, a lot of the solution can lie in making your target uncomfortable. See, a comfortable person does not need to make any change, but if they feel uncomfortable in their situation while simultaneously being influenced to change their position on something (generally this is a love problem where people are asking why someone isn't reaching out, or asking to come back,) then they take the steps you want and make the change you want. For example, someone will come to me and have a "friends with benefits" situation that they want changed into a real relationship. The target is not reacting to the love work they are doing on them because the target DOES NOT HAVE TO. They are getting all the parts of the relationship they want, without making it a real relationship. Sure, the love influence is hitting, but they haven't made the changes the petitioner wants, because the petitioner is having sex with them and treating them like a boyfriend/girlfriend already. See…that's a comfortable target…that target has no reason to make a change. 

In these situations, the petitioner is understandably uncomfortable with cutting their partner off sexually, because that could mean losing the person entirely. It's a risk that they don't want to take. 😦 Is there anything magical that we can do to make this person "uncomfortable" so that they make the move towards an actual relationship instead of staying in the "FWB Zone?"

Well, it's not always going to work (because sometimes you do have to take a risk,) but I do have a solution for many of you. So, in this case, we're going to make this person anxious that you might move on with another person of your desired gender if they don't make the relationship legitimate, but without you having to stop seeing them sexually. It does involve a small behavioral change from the petitioner, but nothing so grandiose as cutting them off sexually 100%. 

Now this is a two-pronged approach: The petitioner will be working an attraction spell on themselves to amplify the attention from those around him or her, while also making the target obsessive. I have found that working a situation at multiple angles is often key to success, but for those of you who are beginners, this might be a little more advanced than what you're ready for. I mean, if I were to just talk to my somewhat practiced readers, something like a simple candle attraction spell for yourself, and then the Purple Skull Candle for romantic obsession for the target should do the trick.* The "behavior" from the petitioner is to just be a little less available. If the person calls or texts, wait a half hour or so before you initially respond. Don't be available for a every visit, have "plans." You're still going to be seeing this person, still having a FWB thing going, but just that being slightly-less available is going to make the target uncomfortable and worried that you're slipping away. The target should react by trying to make this a "real" relationship, to "tie you down" and ensure you don't run off. ;) 

The spell linked above for obsession can be a difficult spell for an unpracticed person, but let me be frank here – I honestly think obsession spellwork is at least for someone a bit more intermediate. All too often, I have someone come to me with "Cat, why am I more obsessed after doing this work?" and then they tell me what they did for themselves, and it is because they partially cast the spell on themselves. 😦 If you need help, you can always contact me, but honestly, I can't make time for hours of free instruction, so please be courteous and don't expect hours of free consultation (I already work 16 hours a day many days.) If you're really overwhelmed or it is a difficult situation, I'd be more than happy to take you on as a client, or, if you want to do the work yourself, we can also book an appointment where I take all the time you need to walk you through the steps and coach you how to do the work yourself. I'm always happy to help, just…please be kind and realize it is my job, and so if you need more than say, 20 minutes of my time, you should probably employ me for my time, ha. 😉 I LOVE working on difficult problems, so don't hesitate to share yours with me. 😀

But, how about that attraction spell? Again, this does NOT need to be anything really excessive or complicated. If you have a preferred kind of spell you want to use and you feel you have some practice under your belt, feel free, – but for those of you who want me to suggest something for you, you might try the following:

You will need:

A red figural candle the same gender as the petitioner**
Attraction oil**
Magnetic Charm oil**
Look at Me oil**
Regular granulated table sugar
A small piece of paper with all of the edges torn off
A pen with black ink
A fire proof container like a cake tin or pie plate
Optional- a few hairs from the head of the petitioner (person who the spell is cast on behalf of.)

Write out the name paper by writing the petitioner's name seven times, like so (if the petitioner was named John Smith,)

John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith
John Smith 

Now turn the paper so that the names are running vertically rather than horizontally, and write the command across the names as so:

All eyes on me
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
All eyes on me

The name paper should look a bit like a tic tac toe board. Spit in the center and place the hair in the center, now fold this in half towards you, and fold it in half towards you again, quartering the paper. Place this in your pie plate or other heatproof container. Place a few drops of each oil in your writing hand, and take the candle in your opposite hand. Using the hand covered in oil, anoint the candle with seven strokes UP (base to wick) while keeping an image of yourself (or the petitioner) being surrounded by desiring people of the desired sex making flirtatious glances in your mind's eye. If you feel that you can send energy, try to send RED energy into the candle while you anoint it. Sprinkle the sugar over it. 

Place the candle on top of the name paper and light it. Now, if you are not the petitioner, replace "Me" with the petitioner's name. Say: "All eyes on me, all minds on me. Wherever I go, all are magnetically pulled towards me, desiring me and wanting me. Everyone near me is charmed by me, wanting me and wanting to be with me, as is my will, so it be!" Allow the candle to burn out. When it has, either hide the name paper near your front door (if you are in an apartment this may be right inside the door,) or bury it beneath your front doorstep. 

That's all you have to do! Very easy, right?! 🙂 This should get heads turning your way ASAP! 

So, if you combine that spell with the Purple Skull candle for Obsession (above) and just pull away from your friend-with-benefits a tiny bit (as described above,) you should be getting that person to move on making you really their boyfriend/girlfriend. If you need help, don't hesitate to contact me!

~Cat

 

*Some of the distributors in the article linked above have gone out of business or changed. While I still recommend Mountain Rose Herbs for your herbal needs, you should try Etsy for the candles, and Hoodooroots.com for the oils. If you have preferred sellers already that are not my preferred sellers, feel free to use that business! :) 

**No doubt that someone (or multiple someones) will complain that these are items they do not have access to, or that the condition oils come from a specific seller, etc. Let me say that while I definitely do not think you should buy cheap crappy oils that are nothing but scented oil and not the real thing, I do understand that some people either prefer a different seller, or that others are like "I can get a red candle but it's not shaped like anything, and a shaped candle costs more," and I agree with those people that this should not make them unable to do a spell. Technically, unless the candle is the wrong gender but still a figural candle, or the figure it does depict is like…a reaper or something clearly off, yes, you can just use a regular old red candle. You can also reduce the number of oils to one, and just make sure it is an oil which has to do with attracting someone in a romantic way.