Pre-Reconciliation Lecture

Hey Occulties,

So, I know I promised you a week of love spell articles and I don't want to let you down. Of course, last week my bird decided to chew on an extension cord, almost kill himself, and, on top of a BANNER WEEK of readings, (I was on the phone so much that it was crazy,) surprise vet bills, AND the fact that it was bill week….I was a little too busy to bring you the promised week of love stuff. 😦 I also had to ask St Expedite for help because surprise bills on bill week can be HORRID, but St Expedite always helps very fast. :) 

So, today I'm going to be a bit brief (because like most Mondays, it's been a long day, ha,) but I wanted to continue our week, just a week late. 😉 Today I'd like to discuss a point about reconciliation that I've made several times… Namely, remember, in MOST cases, a relationship breaks down because it wasn't working ON BOTH SIDES. That isn't always true – while no one is entirely without fault, some people can be relatively blameless in the demise of a relationship, BUT in most cases, the relationship was breaking down already before it finally came to it's last breaths. Why is this important? Because in about a third of all of my cases, the petitioner will reconcile with the target, and then say "Oh, wait, this relationship sucks. I just remembered how unhappy I was with this person." Then, despite the time, money, and emotional investment in all the work done to get the "desired ex" back, they soon break things off with the ex. That's fine by me – sometimes people need closure, and the value of closure is not struggling for months (or even years) to be with someone because you were not ready to lose them when you did. 

BUT definitely, time and energy could be saved by realizing that the relationship was not fabulous to begin with, and accepting that before you reconcile that person using magic. 

So, how do you prevent this from happening? Well, ask yourself, were you happy with this person when they broke things off? What issues have you had with them? What shortcomings need to be addressed? How often was this person critical of you? How often were they helpful to you? Did you feel secure in the relationship? Was this person faithful to you (assuming it was an exclusive relationship)? Don't get caught up in "BUT I LOVE (person) SO MUCH!!" Because certainly, that is valuable, but it won't make a relationship work if the only thing you had which seemed compatible was that you love that person (and they likely love you back.) You can love a person and still be very incompatible with them. Try to be as honest to yourself as possible about the relationship, and if it seemed defective or toxic from early on (before you had even broken up,) you might actually decide AGAINST reconciling the relationship. 

And why do I bring this up? Because the next article is about reconciliation. 😉 I think questioning one's motives about reconciling a relationship before actually doing reconciliation work is a very healthy and smart thing to do. 🙂

~Cat