Reconciliation Candle Spell – For Moderately Bad Break Ups

Hey Occulties,

So, here I was, writing out this complicated reconciliation spell, and I was like "Why am I doing this? Most people freak out if I suggest they buy a non-edible herb because it isn't available at their grocery store, and decide the spellwork is too hard or complicated to get the ingredients for." So, here I was, conflicted as to should I write out the spell anyhow and have people say "Nope, that's way too much effort" or try to first present something which more people will at least TRY to do because they can find the ingredients. The reality is that spellcasting IS a lot of effort, and if you really want your ex back, presumably, you would be willing to put in that kind of effort. While I've been employed to work for others, many of my clients as well as my readers DO try to work spells on their own…but all too often they go for the "milder" choices because these often include ingredients which are easier to procure. 

OK, look, spellcasting for yourself is a lot easier now than it was back in my much younger years. There was, back in my late teens, a epic tidal wave of completely fullacrap books for instruction (perhaps there still is, – frankly the titles I buy tend to be made in very small batches and aimed at very advanced practitioners these days, so I wouldn't know,) and you could not simply order everything you need online. So basically you were likely to be following bad instructions and spending a lot of money on things which might be, again, used in a spell that wasn't going to help. So, you want your ex back and you want to be the one to bring that ex back? Put in some effort. 😛 No excuses people. As always I love working on hard love issues (it's kind of my thing,) so if you'd rather someone else do the work for you, by all means, hire someone to (I'm always around, if you need me,) BUT if you want to bring someone back into your life and you want to do the work…then put in the effort. 

Alright, now that I've made my pep-talk, let's talk about reconciliation. So, I'm going to assume (perhaps wrongly) that you created a moderate dumpster-fire when you broke up with your ex. Here's the thing – you can't reconcile someone if you're continuing to add damages to a situation. I've gone over this before, but until you're acting calm and collected and giving that person their desired space, you're going to fail at reconciliation. Yes, even if you're being super nice. See, if you don't want to talk to someone because you're hurt and angry at them, them persisting on being in your presence (even while being super nice and kind) is actually pretty bad too, albeit perhaps not as bad as if they are saying mean things to you or being hurtful (but it's still bad.) So, I want you to retreat from your ex's presence and do not like or heart or etc everything on their social media (in fact, stop interacting with their social media,) do not speak about them with shared friends (because all that just gets back to them, often in some twisted form,) and just sit on your cute little bum and give that person space. Are you giving your ex space? Good. That means we can start spellworking. If you're in panic mode or bothering your ex, you need to wait, though. Got it? Good. 

I'm going to make things simpler than originally intended (my first spell I was writing out was super complicated and meant you had to procure dirts from various places,) but we're not going super simple. 😉 Because we're getting a little complicated today, please follow the instructions closely. 

Candles:
A pink figural candle of the same sex as your ex*
4 pink candles of the same size
4 purple candles of the same size
A seven day candle or soft-wax candle and/or an extra candle, any color should work. 

The most difficult part of this is going to be setting the candle which represents your ex. And since it's an interesting way to set a candle, let's discuss it a bit now. Basically, we are going to impact several parts of your ex – the head, the heart, and, of course, the groin. For example, some people will avoid coming back because their logical side (their brain, or head,) is telling them that being with you is a bad idea, even if their heart is breaking at letting you go. Sometimes it is that they are angry (their heart is hurt,) even if they know the smartest thing they could do is return to you (intellectually, ie the brain, is saying not to leave.) Maybe the heart and the head are both against you. We'll fix that.  The groin? Let's just be honest, here. 😉 If someone wants to get intimate with you, that's obviously going to help drive them back. The way we set these parts is by using a heated device (I like to use a heated screwdriver as the handle doesn't get hot,) and digging out some wax, then packing ingredients into these holes made in the head, heart, and groin area, then sealing this off with a little soft wax from a seven-day candle (or dripping wax into the hole to seal it from an extra candle). The ingredients for the head, heart, and groin area will be different. 

The head:
Into the head you want to put a mixture of poppy seed, sugar, and licorice root powder, as well as a slip of paper with "Return to (your name) immediately" written on it. I usually put the little piece of paper (I would write the petitioner's name – or person who the spell is cast on behalf of, in this case) in first, then sprinkle the herbal mixture into the hole (it's a small hole, so you don't need a lot of herb mix) and add a drop or two of Follow Me Boy/Girl (Follow me boy for straight women and gay men, follow me girl for straight men and gay ladies,) and as I seal the hole, I say "(Full name of target) you think and dream and desire to return to (name of petitioner) constantly." 

The heart: 
You will likely want to make this area a bit larger as we will be using a balm of gilead bud here. They can be…unwieldy. 😉 So make a hole in the heart area and write out a slip of paper that says "Desire only to be with (your name or petitioner's name)," and here I would wrap this little slip of paper around the balm of gilead bud, wrap around this a pink rosepetal, and place this into the hole. Sprinkle some sugar in the hole, and add a few drops of Return to Me oil. As I seal the hole I say, "(Full name of target) release all pain and anger towards (petitioner's name), and be filled with love and desire for only (petitioner's name.)"

The groin:**
Carve out an area in the groin area, and herein place lemongrass, damiana, and sugar again, and a slip of paper which says "(Full name of target,) you are overwhelmed with love and desire and need for only (petitioner)'s affections." Add a few drops of Flame of Desire oil, and seal the hole. 

The base – the figural candle should be fixed at the base to represent the target, in this case, placing an image or a personal item into the base of the candle and sealing it in should work nicely. Anoint the full candle UP (base to wick) with Follow Me Boy/Girl, Return to Me, and Flame of Desire oils. Roll the anointed candle in a blend of sugar, licorice root powder, and rose petals.

Next we move on to the four purple candles. On each of these you should write something you want to remove or dissipate from the relationship. Inscribe this DOWN (wick to base), and be simple. I know a few people who would try to write a small novel on each candle, and that is actually short sighted in some cases. This is actually an important step, and whilst I already feel the tsunami of questions starting to approach, let's take a moment to remember that sometimes impacting a certain situation we feel is an "obstacle" can and will create problems that may be even more distasteful to you than the original problem, while possibly doing little or nothing to improve your own situation. While this is certainly on the extreme end of the spectrum, I've dealt with people who would go so far as to harm family, friends, children of their "intended," that person's job, or even their mobility just to secure their place in this person's life. If you feel that, for example, killing off a "rival" for so-and-so's affection or that person's child is a solution, let me just say that even if those people were dead (thus creating an emotionally traumatizing situation for this person you claim to love,) it doesn't mean that this person will love you, despite the "rival"'s demise. Getting someone fired is not always going to help either. The purpose of these candles is not to just attack what makes you jealous or angry, and in many cases, those things you're so angry about tend to not be the underlying problem as is…they are actually symptoms of the real problem. This will be a hard part for some of my readers and clients to work out. I've seen people aim so much vitriol at a romantic/sexual rival as to miss the point entirely that the problem is more their "beloved" not being able to seriously commit to anyone, not the rival himself/herself. I might use "(Target's name)'s fear of commitment" in such cases. Why? Because if you're dealing with a commitmentphobe or natural cheater, removing one rival means another will come along shortly. 😛 Also, like I'd said above, I am working on the assumption that this was a pretty bad break up. So, if someone is feeling hurt or anger towards you, it would be great to use this to remove or dissipate this very hurt and anger towards you. These candles will be anointed DOWN (wick to base) with Banishing and Roadopening oil. 

Moving on to the pink candles, these are to be inscribed UP (base to wick) with something you wish to draw to you or increase. Again, I'm going to have people that legitimately are shooting themselves in the feet with fantasy. So, if you're broken up from this person, MARRIAGE is not something to write on these candles. For the millionth time, you want to work on having a stable and happy relationship with this person before you start thinking of an engagement or marriage. If you're not even currently dating this person, marriage is not something you should be considering yet. Instead I might suggest "(target's name) loves and forgives (petitioner's name)" or "(Target's name) desires to be near to (petitioner's name) constantly," as these are going to do more for you than assuming someone you've been broken up with who won't speak to you is going to marry you next week if you do this spell. 😛 Anoint these candles UP (base to wick) with Follow Me Boy/Girl, Return to Me, and Flame of Desire oils. 

As always, avoid using NEGATIVES (No, Not, Never) in your commands. 

I bet some of you are already sweating. 🙂 This gets better. Because I have NO DOUBT that I will soon be making an image to give you an idea of what's going on. So this is a spell that I recommend doing over NINE days. If you can't do that (or you just hate waiting 9 days) it will require 9 hours (smaller candles may require you to put these out after each "session" and then burn them all the way out on the 9th hour,) so be sure you plan accordingly.  It can also be reduced to a 7 day or 7 hour working, which is slightly less strong. The set up is "round" Meaning the figural candle stands in the center at the beginning, with the four purple candles sitting at N, E, W, S directly abutting the figural. The pink candles sit at NE, SE, SW, NW out the outside of this circle at the edges of the altar. 

What is happening next I will explain a bit of background first to, because I know some of you are already asking WTF. So, we will be rotating the purple candles COUNTERCLOCKWISE while also moving them AWAY from the figural candle, and rotating the pinkcandles CLOCKWISE while also moving them TOWARDS the figural candle. The reason is that counterclockwise is often to draw something away when the motion is made, while clockwise is the motion to bring towards you. So in essence, we are moving what we don't want AWAY from the target and banishing it's influence, whilst also drawing into the target (and our own) lives that which we want. I actually use a pretty large altarpiece for this, but I assure you if you really want to clean up a messy recon situation, it's a gem. For those of you who really do not want to rotate candles (and I mean that if one is sitting in the northern position on day one, it is next in the Western position, and then next in the Southern, etc,) you will bring the pink TOWARDS the figural candle, and the purple candles AWAY from the figural candle each day (and not work the counterclockwise and clockwise movements). 

Each of these movements do have a meaning, but I understand that some of my readers are already overwhelmed. 😉 It sounds harder than it is, I assure you. 

OK, this is best begun on a FRIDAY during the first quarter of the moon. Assuming the altar is set for day one, begin as so (taking care not to light yourself on fire, – those super long "kitchen matches" are a boon here,): Light the figural candle, and say "(name of target I call you home to me (or petitioner's name), and I fill you with love and desire and need for me, I bring to your heart forgiveness and call you home, that you be filled with love and dripping with desire, immediately, now, now." On the first day, light the four purple candles in a COUNTERCLOCKWISE direction without moving them, moving them BEFORE you begin the second through ninth day, and say "(name of target) I drive away and remove that which keeps you from me (or petitioner)," and I crush these obstacles and melt them unto nothing." Now you will light the pink candles in a CLOCKWISE direction, not moving them the first day, but moving them closer before lighting them on the second through ninth days, and when they are lit, say "(name of target,) between us (or "you and (petitioner's name)") I sow love and harmony, happiness, and desire and joy. I draw you back (to me/to petitioner's name) with love and affection."  Allow the candles to burn for a few moments, envisioning the target and petitioner back together and happy in your mind's eye and say "Target's name, come back to (petitioner's name/me), immediately, as is my will, so be it!" Allow the set up to burn for at least about 10 minutes. Repeat for a total of nine days. On the final day, you will have all the candles burn themselves out. 

I generally just scoot all the wax leftover's into the trash, but if you dispose of them, recommend doing so in a crossroads. 

I know there are going to be many many questions, so please feel free to contact me! 

~Cat
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*There have been increasing requests to know which gender should be used for a trans person. Since I don't really have any historical context to base this on, this is an educated guess, but I would use the figural candle which corresponds to their gender identity. So a trans-woman would be a female candle, and a trans-man would be a male candle, even if the original genitalia is still intact. 

**Bizarre concerns I often receive are "If I do this to this figural candle, will a similar injury come to the target," and this seems to be more fixed on the genital area when the question arises (despite the fact that a giant hole in your head or heart would definitely be fatal.) So, no, if you were to do this spell on me, my lady bits would not suddenly be enlarged so big that my intestines would fall right out of my urogenital area, and similarly, if you did this to a male, his urogenital area would not melt into a gaping hole, either. It is OK to emasculate your male-figural, and melt the hoohoo on your female figural. Everyone's genitals shall remain intact on the flesh person the candle is to represent. ;)