Not-Your-Regular Stay-Positive Article

Hey there, everyone,

I know that quarantine has a lot of people down. It's not easy for many of us, and if my inbox is any indication, a good portion of people are at odds with their partners, mostly because they are taking their panic, frustration, and/or anger out on who they are living with. So, here is a little suggestion for you all, because honestly, many of you clearly need it.

When something annoys you, getting angry is a natural enough reaction. So, if you keep trying to make something on your phone work, for example, and it continually gives you an error message, you would normally become frustrated and angry. BUT, did you know that if you say things to yourself like "Why does this phone suck so much!?" or "Why can't this stupid thing ever work" (and this is aloud or to yourself,) that you're reinforcing to yourself that you should get angry? You're actually making yourself angrier. Again, I'm not saying it's an unnatural reaction to be annoyed, or frustrated, or angry, – not at all – but you are AMPLIFYING the situation when you tell yourself (out loud or silently,) that something "sucks," or is in some way antagonizing you. 

This normally isn't going to be a big deal. You can go out and take a walk. You can get away from what is frustrating you or upsetting you for a minute and calm down. You can distract yourself. HOWEVER, with quarantine, this isn't as easy as it once was. If your partner is annoying you, you can't find an excuse to leave your home to have a break from them. If your kids are making a ton of noise and you need quiet to work from home, you have no choice but to endure the noise, or take up "precious time" to find something to distract those kids and quiet them down (thus annoying many of you more.) All the little freedoms that help many of us avoid becoming mega assholes are no longer available to many of us. 

So what do you do? Well, this is a very obvious "trick" I use, and it's not infallible, but believe me, I have 2 pet birds (which are very very annoying pets – they scream and won't stop singing at the worst possible moments, AND they like to poop on things just as a fun surprise sometimes,) so I know it can work for me. So, something annoys you, and your brain goes "Man, I hate x thing!" or "This stupid thing won't stop" etc…shut that little voice up and count your blessings. So for example, if I'm like "Man I just spent a half an hour setting up this altar, and stupid Mr NinjaCat let the stupid bird in the room because he doesn't effing think, and that damn bird messed up my whole freaking altar before I could start!" I should take a breath, and be happy that I have a home, that I have food, that I love my pets (and most of the time I love Mr NinjaCat, too, haha,) and that I have work when other people don't. Instead of engaging in negative thinking and reinforcing my negative mood, I remember the good things that I do have. I shut up that inner voice, and instead I engage in thankfulness. It means my anger won't snowball into being furious and petty and mean and rude to those around me. 

I suggest this because I see people work themselves into these huge angry clouds, seething with the injustice they feel they are experiencing and often over relatively trivial events. I've seen full meltdowns because someone didn't get a reply from someone else after texting that person 10 minutes previously. :S While I realize many problems aren't so trivial, it works to redirect your thinking to something positive with both large and small problems. And if you do this, not only will you deal with your issues better, those around you will be thankful that you're not getting so angry all of the time.

Just a suggestion, and hopefully it helps! 

~Cat