Why Reconciliation Spells “Don’t Last” (Hint, they do.)

Good Morning, Occultey Friends,

Today I'd like to discuss the idea that if you reconcile an ex using magic, that it's just never going to work out. To this I'd like to respond….

HORSESHIT. Double stinky extra wet floppy droppy horseshit. 

HOWEVER (you knew that part was coming,) you might be confused because people often use this kind of magic on a situation which wasn't working out at all, and they were themselves getting ready to leave when their partner was like "Hey, I'm breaking up with you." A fair amount of the situations brought to me are brought to me because my client was not ready to break up, – not because it was a really good relationship. So, the client uses spellwork to reconcile the desired party, that person comes back, and suddenly a week or so into it, my client is like "Dude, this person is a total assclown. Why did I spend so many nights crying over this douche-canoe?" It doesn't matter that the reconciled party is amorous and loving and sweet and kind, – all of the sudden the client remembers what an insufferable jerk this person was before the break up, and realizes…they really just wanted closure. :P 

This might not be your situation, and it isn't all reconciliation situations. I've rejoined a fair amount of couples who stayed together because the split wasn't what either wanted or needed. They were and are very compatible and very happy together – moreso than when apart. 

That's something else people tend to forget when they say stupid things like "Once you cast any form of love spell, the magic kills real love" – did you ever read or hear that? It's stupid. Very stupid. If someone says something like that to you, remember that's a bit like them telling you that if you ever ate a slice of bread you are full of toxic metal because someone cut it with a knife. That's how stupid that is. However, most stupid ideas come from somewhere, and this one comes from the fact that basically all love ends in death or disaster, and even if you do your best, sometimes you just can't make a love affair work. That isn't magic's fault. In fact, subtract magic from the equation and look…that love affair still would not work out. In fact, it probably would have fallen apart even faster. You know, one of my greatest loves and I took a break of like 14 years, and while I will tell you I loved that man with my whole being both times we were together, unfortunately it fell apart both times. I still love that man, even though I'm not in love with him, and I honestly and completely want nothing for him but happiness. Because, kids, love is not enough to make things work, and that is why sometimes, even when we try to make a relationship work – using magical or mundane means to do so, – we find there is nothing that can ultimately make it work…and generally speaking, that's never because of a lack of love.

I see everyone looking a tad confused. Should I not be telling you how mystical forces shall rejoin you and your intended forever and ever and ever? How this will be even better than it was? OK, so you're going to want to visit the bullshit fairy for that. I'm the person who is far more likely to say something to the effect of "Well, look, you can have this person back in your life if you want, but you know tying a brick to each ankle and trying to swim 3 miles to shore is a more appealing situation than being paired with this asshole, so it's really up to you if that's what you want." And if that offends you, let me assure you of one thing myself and many many many other people have learned over the years, and that is that if everyone is telling you that your partner (or desired partner) is a jerk and you could do so much better, then they generally are and you usually could. 

And the reality is not one bit of that is magic's fault. 

See magic does it's job. So if you task magic with returning your ex, that doesn't make your ex not a piece of shit. It returns the piece of shit you asked for. It's like I always say, just because you cast a love spell on a jerk, it doesn't make that person not a jerk, but it does mean now you have a jerk in love with you. 

~Cat