Questions You’ve Asked Me: June 2025 edition

Hey Occulties,

Let's get going with another round of Questions You've Asked Me. I'm starting with a repeat, but it's a really important repeat. ;) 

Q: What are the biggest issues you witness among your clients/readers most often when using love/reconciliation magic?

I did a video of this last year, but first and foremost, it is that people continue to engage in the toxic and abusive behaviors that chased off the person they want back in the first place. Nagging, arguing, jealousy, other behaviors borne of insecurity, being short sighted, verbally abusive, threatening them, threatening yourself, creating fake scenarios in your head and getting angry, stalking, manipulation, being controlling, not being accountable, being too clingy, not being clingy enough, lying….I mean, we all are at least a bit toxic, but if you want a relationship (any relationship!) to work, the best thing you can do is work on your own toxic behaviors and better yourself. A spell will not make someone overlook the continued bad behavior in the long run. So work on yourself while the spell works for you!

Then there is the fact that people want overnight results. It happens, but frankly speaking to you all, it is wrong to assume that it will or that someone promising you such things is on the level. Spiritual work is a bit like medicine. Sometimes "treatment" (so improvement via the spell manifesting,) has to take weeks or even a few months. While the whining and bitching (if you do it frequently,) is chasing your worker off (there's literally 0 wrong with a spell that isn't a week old not having results yet,) it is also a huge red flag that YOU are a big reason your spell is taking so long to manifest. You have lust for results. So, not only do we almost certainly have a complex and difficult issue to tackle, one that didn't develop overnight or over a day or two, but you're slowing manifestation and blaming the wrong party. Trust me, I wish this wasn't how this worked – I've ruined and delayed my own work for myself having gotten lust for results, (annoyed a few friends like certain clients have annoyed me, too, haha,) and it blows – because if it were all the responsibility of the worker casting the spell, then my job (and by extension my peers' jobs,) would be so much easier. Instead, with certain people it feels like I have to drag them kicking and screaming to the place in life they paid me to get them. If you RELAX, and quit ruminating on the problem and stalking the target and overthinking, not only will you feel better (because you are upsetting yourself,) you will also get faster results! We just recently discussed lust for results so I'll leave it at what I said here, but know that FAST RESULTS ARE OFTEN SHORT-LIVED RESULTS…and that means you really shouldn't stress if it takes a few weeks anyhow. It's probably for your benefit!

There's also the people who don't actually love the person they think they do. See, my mom always said you have to love someone "warts and all." She meant that you love the best parts and the worst parts and all in between. When you come to me and say "Well, I love (insert name) but s/he laughs stupid, and we don't agree on politics so I want to change that, and s/he is really into a few things I find so boring I want to chew my arm off when s/he starts talking, and also I wish s/he was smarter, and I don't really like her/his sense of humor…" etc etc – then you are telling me THAT YOU DO NOT LOVE THIS PERSON. Remember kids, NEVER SEEK TO CHANGE THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH BECAUSE YOU WILL FAIL, instead if you don't love all of them, you are just infatuated with your idea of them, and not them at all. And I get it – people get bad habits like addictions, or they are bad with money, or any number of faults that we'd all like them not to have. But you leave them how you get them, so if they cheated to be with you, they'll cheat on you religiously.  Don't like that? Don't help them cheat on their partner. You love someone but they drink too much and you hate drinking. Don't like that? Well, then you need to find someone who doesn't like alcohol like you or you need to accept that they are a drunk and love them despite that, and if you can't, then you move on. So when you come to me telling me you love someone except not large parts of their personality, then you do not love them at all. Chasing them and bringing them to you again and again with magic will help no one, and the relationship will ultimately fail. 

Stop giving your perceived rivals headspace too. You are empowering them, keeping them in the picture, and causing yourself issues. That's easier said than done, of course, but unless this person is actively antagonizing you, or creating issues with you, then the faster you put them in your past and out of your head, the faster their influence will cycle out of the situation and into the past. 

And lastly… NO ONE wants you drag up the past and your feelings when things are knitting back together. No one. So if you get contact with your ex, and have to immediately discuss the past or your feelings, past arguments, or the former relationship, don't be surprised when they take off pretty fast. Instead, you let the relationship start healing,  and wait until that ex brings up the past to talk to them about it. I promise you, you'll get your opportunity. 

Q: What do I do if St Expedite doesn't come through? Do I eat the poundcake I got in my freezer and assume he hates me?

A: Eat the poundcake if you want. Don't assume he hates you. The answer to some prayers is no. It sucks but you can always try asking another saint or another spirit for help. 

Q: Why did you ask me what (ingredient) was for in my spell when I asked you if a spell I wrote was any good?

A: Because it made no sense to me. I can tell you the exact reason anything exists in any spell I wrote. I know exactly what it's function is, and it has zero to do with "i saw it in another spell" being my only justification. So if you don't know why you are using bay laurel leaves, and it makes no sense for you to do so with your reported aim  for the spell in mind, and I'm reviewing this new spell you wrote with my decades of study and practice bringing up no fathomable reason for it to exist in your spell, I will ask what you meant the ingredient to do. If you don't have an answer (usually many people don't know what the ingredient does and cuffed it from another spell,) or your answer is "just because," you need to go back to the drawing board.

That's okay! You need to start somewhere, but you asked me to critique it or help you, and if you can't give me a sensible reason for that ingredient…well, it's a bit like misusing a word or term you recently heard or read. If you don't know what it means or does, it's the very duty you enlisted me for to tell you that doesn't make sense and doesn't belong there. 

Q: How do I remove a curse?

A: That has a lot to do with if you are cursed, when you were cursed, what methods were used…several factors. So you are basically asking me something as vague as "what do I do if I don't feel well," with no other information. If you can tell me why you think you're cursed, what the symptoms are, who you believe cursed you (if known,) and why, as well as when you believe it started, then feel free to contact me and I can suggest something to help. 

In the meanwhile, look for items hidden in your home, do not take any physical item from the suspected antagonist, and do not give them anything of yours. If you are not a public figure, try to keep any images of yourself blocked from the suspected antagonist on your socials. Add hyssop, rue, and salt to a hot bath, and submerge yourself, then stand up and wash DOWN (head to feet,) saying the 23rd Psalm ("The Lord is my Shepard,") to wash off any active curse energies. 

Q: How do I know if Santa Muerte will work with me?

A: Start by asking her! You might try prayer, meditation, or a reading! I've found if she's approached respectfully, she generally will work with you, HOWEVER if you get no feedback from her, you might wait and try asking her assistance on another issue. If you get a bad feeling, a feeling of trepidation or worry, or any seemingly negative sign, do not work with her. She is a very helpful spirit but…she can be picky sometimes, even towards aims her devotees ask her assistance on. 

I recommend your first working be using the Santa Muerte novena. This can be found online here. Once you have done the novena, you will be responsible for offering her a candle once a week for the rest of your life (or until you don't want her help on that issue,and she can rescind her help much like Saint Expedite.)

Keep in mind, she may not help you against another devotee of hers – and the story I heard is she is a skeleton because she immolated herself after finding out her husband was having an affair, so she can be biased against women who try to take another woman's man. 

Q: Could I literally use anything from the body of my target as a witness sample (a link to them)? Like what about old baby teeth or a scab!? 

A: I have questions where you're getting someone's baby teeth (or if you have access to such a thing, if your kids are alright, heh,) but yes, you can use anything. If your target was a leper and their nose fell off, and you somehow managed to grab it, you could use that, though I'd be kind of careful about touching anything which might carry pathogens. 

There are a few historical spells that I've read that even use scrapings from the foot – like scraping off a callous. 

Now keep in mind, each part is going to be more useful for some ends than others. For example, a used toothbrush can be used to effect communication quite well, and it's full of dead skin and spit (which is why you change your toothbrush often, because that's gross but true.) An old worn shoe from the target can be used to make them move somewhere or to draw them to come back. Notice I DID NOT say that you needed to get their tongue or a toe. 😉 If it's clothing make sure it's unwashed and that they are the only wearer of the item. Hopefully no one is sharing toothbrushes, but that, too. 

It's easier to get a strong biological witness sample than getting most people's baby teeth (I really don't want to know, but the original asker DID say baby teeth, haha,) and you may even find you have to handle something far less icky than a discarded scab. That said, even these unique choices and…yeah, body parts and things the body sheds are all usable. HOWEVER, please make sure you legally obtain these items, and please don't physically assault anyone to get a body part of them that you are using for spellwork. Obviously, we shed baby teeth and scabs, but with this question, I feel compelled to say do not assault any target to get these items, please and thank you. 

Q: Why do my get a job spells keep failing?! I'm qualified for the job, and have years of experience in the field I'm applying in. I should be a candidate that anyone would want!

A: At this writing (June 2025,) the economy is sliding right into the toilet from what I can tell, which is a factor we do need to consider, and without defining the person asking's field (in which there are jobs,) so as to help everyone, we also need to consider the industry you want a job in. When I was a little girl, travel agents were a huge necessity if you wanted to travel, and now I'm not even sure that's still a thing, for example, so if you are looking for a job which is disappearing or losing relevance, you may find that you are seeking something a bit like a unicorn or other fantasy creature. My parents still remember having a guy who delivered milk to their homes (a milk man!) and I don't think that's a thing anymore either, ha ha. 

Now, I'm going to assume that you don't want to be a milk man or travel agent, and that you wanted a job you're qualified for that is still a kind of job that has relevance today. And for the sake of argument, let's say it has pretty good availability of jobs, and no hiring freeze.

You know my first degree was in graphic design. This was still a booming industry until about 6 months to a year before I graduated. *sigh* When I did graduate, there were still some jobs, definitely, and I did some freelance work as a graphic designer for maybe a decade after I did graduate, but for someone who was one of the top design students in my class, it was pretty bleak and I DEFINITELY kept trying to do job spells to land a career in my chosen field. I'd get some freelance work, and it would taper off. 😛 Of course my classmates also were not getting jobs as designers, which probably was a big clue…but when I did this job work, other opportunities for skilled work (which I was skilled at,) kept popping up. It quickly became clear that the Universe had other plans for me, and those plans did not entail me becoming a famous artist who designed logos and ads.

My point is maybe you're looking in the wrong field. Is the universe pushing you in another direction and you're so targeted on what you think you should be doing? Look for clues! If you keep getting pretty good offers or seeing opportunities pop up for other jobs you're qualified to work, then try taking that opportunity!

Also, unfortunately ageism is a thing. Are you very young or over 50? Honestly a person at 50 has 15 more good years in them at least and is highly skilled but often passed over for someone a bit younger. If you think it is ageism, you might try road opening with your crown of success work.

If none of that seems to apply, by all means, feel free to contact me (link in this article in another question,) and I am glad to try to figure out what the heck is going on. Maybe you're using money spell work and not job spellwork, which they are different things. 

Alright kids, keep the questions coming. I might even do a part 2 for this month if you bring me something new and interesting!

Thanks for reading!

~Cat