Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Good Morning, my dear Occulties,

I was looking at the lunar calendar today because I knew the new (dark) moon was en route, and I said to myself "Wait a minute," because just like an old cartoon, a little idea light bulb (complete with filament because I'm old enough to remember the Macarena being a popular dance, and don't have LED idea light bulbs like you gosh-darn kids) suddenly appeared above my head. My goodness… we have the PERFECT lunar cycle here on Friday with all this retrograding going on to make Friday the perfect time to bring your mofuggin' ex back!!! 

So…let's discuss some reconciliation, shall we? Now, I've waxed prosiac on lust for results, not acting against your spellwork, stop social media stalking, etc. If none of that made sense to you, you must be new to the blog, and feel free to read some previous articles. 😀 For the rest of us (the ones who have been sitting in the rant room long enough to not need that review,) it's time to get your badass selves down to your altars if you're missing that certain someone you let go. 

Remember – your ex should know how to get in contact with you, and is not in a stable, long term relationship with another (if they are married to someone else with a family and you broke up ten years ago, this might not work.) 

This is best done on Friday, during the first quarter of the moon, in the hour of the Moon. If you don't know planet hours, Friday and the nearest Friday AFTER (not on) the full moon is what you're seeking.

You will need:
SEVEN pink candles of the same size
Sugar (straight up table sugar)
7 Balm of gilead buds*
Licorice root (powdered if you have it)
pink rose petal (dried is easier)
Poppy seed
Return to Me oil**
Love me (or Love Me now) oil,
Talk to Me oil
An image of the target
A GREEN permanent marker or sharpie
A safety pin, or sharp implement  
Optional: Spare candle, mortar and pestle, sand and cake tin

Put your sugar, licorice, rose petal, balm of gilead buds, and poppy seed into a mortar and pestle to grind down into a fine powder. If you do not have a mortar and pestle, a bowl and spoon can usually accomplish this,. If you bought your ingredients mostly powdered, just blend these in a bowl. I use about  1-2 tablespoons of each.

Inscribe each candle up (starting at base, up towards wick) using a safety pin or sharp implement with the following command (replacing target's name with the name of the target and petitioner's name with the name of the person who the spell is cast on behalf of,): "(Target's name) return immediately to (petitioner's name)"

If you are using sand and a cake tin, place fresh sand into your cake tin, anoint each candle with a mixture of your three oils, anointing up (base to wick) and put the seven candles in an approximate circle wide enough to allow your photo to be placed in the center with some room to spare. If you are not using this, skip this step***

Using your pen or marker, write the following command around the "face" of your target in your image (if you need to, you can use a photo editor to make the face area larger before printing this out,) seven times (so, write the sentence seven times, inserting proper names in place of target's name or petitioner's name) "(Target's name,) return to (Petitioner's name) immediately, reaching out to (petitioner's name) with love and desire for (him/her/them.)" Place this in the center of your altar.  If you have not placed the candles using a sand and cake tin method, anoint your candles with a mixture of your three oils up (base to wick) and instead place the candles on your altar in an approximate circle around the image leaving a bit of room. If you do not have candle holders, use a spare candle to secure these to a fire resistant surface on your altar. 

Using your sugar/herb mixture, pour the mixture to make "lines" going from each candle into the center of the image. This will look like drawing a seven-ray star with the center being approximately in the center of your image. Try to get this centered inside the circle of commands. This can be difficult for people…. I can do this using my hands but if you can't, you might try using a piece of paper folded in a V shape, and slowly shaking it to create these lines. 

Now that the altar is set up, you begin by lighting the western most candle first, and saying, "(Target's name,) return to (Petitioner's name) immediately, reaching out to (petitioner's name) with love and desire for (him/her/them,)" as you light this candle, then repeat this step as you light the second candle next to it in a clockwise motion. Pre-emptively, by this I mean if the candles are in a circle, you will light them as if you were lighting numbers on a clock in order, not some sort of weird clockwise movement while lighting a single candle.

Now hold your hands up to either side of the altar as you stare at the image of your target, and in your mind's eye, see the target and petitioner (person for who the spells is being cast for, or yourself if you are doing this for yourself,) happy and joyful and reunited and say "By the light of the seven-rayed star of Venus, I call to you (target's name,) and draw you to (petitioner's name,) irresistibly pulling you back to (him/her/them,) and I open your heart and mind and make them eager to return to (petitioner's name, ) this very hour, this very moment! Forgive (petitioner's name) and return immediately to (him/her/them)! Your heart longs for (petitioner), and you are restless and sleepless until you are in (petitioner's name)'s arms again. Oh (target's name) the light of the seven-rayed star of Venus calls to you – forgive (petitioner's name), return to (petitioner's name) this very moment! As is my will, so be it!" 

Allow the candles to burn out. When they have done so, take the image, and fold it in half (gently to try to keep some of the herb mix inside,) towards you, now turn it so the crease is left or right, and fold towards you again to quarter it. Take this image, and place it in a secret place near your front door. 

I am sure there will be questions, so please ask! :) 

~Cat

Remember this work is all copyright me, so if you see someone stealing my work let me know! 🙂

*this may sound odd, but the "fresher" this is, the harder it may be to use in this spell. To test this, pinch one of your balm of gilead buds, and if a sticky resin is present, it's relatively fresh. Crispy buds are older buds. So…if you have fresh balm of gilead, add this in last or put it in your mortar and pestle separately. 
 **I currently recommend Karma Zain's wonderful Seraphin Station ritual oils for genuine Hoodoo oils!
***Fire safety is always a good thing. Sand and a cake tin really helps prevent fires. If you are NOT using this, please be sure to place all items on a fire resistant surface AND attend closely to the candles when they burn down, even if using candle holders. 

Hey Occulties,

So if you ever read my book, you may have come across this one. I figured since y'all want someone to be obsessed all the time, you might enjoy it here for free. 🙂

You will need:
A pink figural candle in the sex of the desired target
13 pins
Poppy seed
Licorice root
Tobacco
Come to Me
Love Me
Follow Me (Boy/Girl)
A sock or undergarment belonging to the target (unwashed)

Set the figural candle as described here. You will want to place pins in the heart, in the groin, in the buttocks, one in each eye, one in the throat, one through each hand, one in each foot, one in the belly, and one in each knee. As you place each pin, say “(Name of target), have no rest, have no peace, be tortured and be pained in your (body part being “pinned) until you come to me full of love and passion and desire!”

Anoint the candle with each of your oils (you may need to use a Q-tip or swab for this. It’s kind of annoying with the pins in,) anointing up (base to wick) and sprinkle this with your herbs. Place the figural into a fire safe container, and light it. Holding your hands on each side of the candle, envision purple, red, and pink energy swirling from your palms into the candle while trying to keep the image of your target in your mind’s eye. If this is difficult for you, place an image of your target near the altar. Try to keep this in your mind for at least thirty seconds and say “(Name of target,) have no rest, have no peace, take no drink, nor eat no food. Find no pleasure, find no joy, and be with no other sexually or passionately until you come to me. Spirits of this place, seek (name of target) out and drive him/her mad with the need to see me, hear me, taste me, and touch me. Drive from his/her eyes, drive from his/her ears, and drive from his/her mind any other person who is not me. Obsess and control and torture and push and drive (name of target) to me. Fill him/her with want of me. Fill him/her with desire and love for me. Oh, (name of target,) I conjure you here at this moment at this hour to be tortured until you come to me and that all your thoughts be of me and know you are mine and mine alone!” Now wait, still keeping the image in your mind’s eye as described above. The will be something. A sound, perhaps, or a feeling, or any small sign like a pop. It might take 5 minutes, but it will come. When you get that sound, feeling, sense, etc, say “It is mine, as I have willed it! So be it!” Allow the candle to burn out. When it has, take the pins out of the wax and place them into the unwashed sock. Keep this under or near your bed until you tire of your lover’s obsession. When you tire of them, remove all pins from the sock and throw both away.

Let me know if you have questions,

~Cat

Good Morning lovies,

Since I'm clearly a masochist who loves punishment (or just want a lot of crying in my inbox), today I'd like to answer a client's request to know how it is I can "just tell" when a reconciliation working or love working (or, honestly any working at all, just people tend to forget that most thinking work to death and spell harming behaviors really do revolve around love matters,) is going to fall flat. I will answer this with a focus on love matters because in some of my bulleted points, it is a psychological point rather than psychic/occult. 

*You persistently ask me when a specific event will happen which is directly tied to your spell, and ask after intricate details as to how and why. Don't get me wrong, this is a very common question, and 4 out of 5 times, it's relatively harmless, because the person asking it of me does not constantly ask it of me, and schedule time to re-ask me, and demand more specifics of this event and more of them and more and more and more and to be sure on the date, and then they mark the date down and get a case of vapors when their "death clock" causes it to fall flat. 

Now, as I am the person who literally brought "thinking spellwork to death" and "lust for results" into the lingo of modern spellcasting (even people who have no fucking clue who I am use my terms now, and it's discussed rather than just a brief mention like I had in my novice days, if you even got that back then,) as you can imagine I can point out what is lust for results and the above is clearly so. It is TOXIC THINKING right there. So, when I cast a spell, I put an order in for a specific thing. HOW or WHY I get that specific thing should not be in my mind at all. Why? Because if I start trying to suss out HOW AND WHY prior to the spell manifesting, what I do is I am doing the equivalent of driving a car with say a full tank of gas up and down several routes to my destination, trying to figure out the best one, and when the car runs out of gas, I am bitching about how it died before I can get where I wanted to be. This is because thoughts have energy, and when you think about how and why it would manifest, as well as how and why it can't, you are running the energy out on that spellwork because the spell will take the path of least resistance (let's compare this with your car automatically knowing the best route) and generally speaking, it's usually a relatively obvious course of actions that will happen for that spell to manifest, BUT you will often be a bit surprised that it never occurred to you that some parts of it were how it would. So going back to our car example, let's say you get in the car, and it has the ability to allow you to drive, or you can just program your destination in. You program your destination, and then keep changing it to manual to look and see other routes by self driving it. The car runs out of fuel before you reach your destination. I, on the other hand, sit in an exact replica of your car, and I program in my destination, and then I play a game on my phone, occasionally looking up at the road, while the car drives me to where I want to go. I end up arriving quickly and with fuel to spare. Most people are going to unintentionally "divert" the car to peer into other routes to their destination (routes to manifestation,) but will not do it so often as to run out of fuel. 

Why do some people become addicted to asking this question? Mostly it springs from anxiety and seeking control, but also it derives from being quite uncomfortable or lonely or sad, which are all emotions most of us want to remove ourselves from. They feel if they have a date to set failure by (ie a death clock, or let me know exactly when this will happen,) and some foreknowledge of how and why a spell will manifest, this offers security and comfort. Would that it were spells agreed with you on that. 😛 Instead you decide this has failed by (date) so now you're manifesting a delay by using a death clock, and any anxiety or distress you tie onto it not manifesting exactly as predicted (so even the slightest deviation is going to upset you,) will also drain energy from the eventual outcome.

So, if you frequently want to know "is this going to happen, and how," that is a red flag that you are going to experience spell failure. 

What is truly aggravating is that it is not a weird question to be asked so if it comes up to me once in the entire manifestation process, it's actually not a problem. It's pretty standard. It's when it's frequently asked that I put a much higher probability on spell failure.

*You frequently ask me about your love-target's emotional state. Wow, huh, what? Isn't that what love is? Knowing that you ARE loved?

No, not really, because as any psychic who is worth a shit will tell you, love does not mean that they are coming back or that they will treat you well, or that they will stay, or anything other than they love you. "Does so-and-so love me," is most psychic's least liked question, particularly because it has little relevance other than that person loves you (not if they are coming back, not if they will be nice, not if they will behave, etc, etc.) 

Furthermore, I really recommend that if you are feeling super-sensitive right now that you not ask WHY someone is coming back (ie "what triggers this? how do they feel about me right now? What are they thinking?"), because in 30 years of doing readings, rare is it that their motives are pure or what you'd hoped, but tend to be selfish, and uninspiring, and to be fair at least twice a week someone is reduced to tears or anger when the motivation is sycophantic, selfish, shallow, or just not "because I love and need so and so," at least when it begins to take root in the target. It is nearly always something you are better off not knowing what triggered it. But of course, I get to be an empath and experience all your pain and sadness and misery getting intentionally triggered by you when you ask this, despite my many, many, many attempts to remind you that it isn't often anything that will improve your outlook. 

Again, this isn't exactly surprising and it's a common question. It's the people who keep asking it that tend to be the ones with a problem. 

Allow me to let you in on something…you really don't want to know what people are thinking, because people are disgustingly self-absorbed creatures as a biological necessity. Add in the additional problem that spoiling children and giving them as little responsibility as possible has become the standard for parenting in the Western world, which in turn since spoiling children tends to cause narcissism, you have a recipe for a lot of people who are not exactly the self-sacrificing noble types as being love-targets. So when it comes down to it, if you want your rude, selfish ex back, expect your rude selfish ex to have all their reasons for coming back to be rude and selfish. If that's going to upset you, don't ask a question you don't want answered. 

*You fear your perceived "rival" for your beloved's attention. Wait, huh? Of course if my intended is paying attention to another that's going to upset me, right:?

If you choose to let it. See, the problem you are having is one anyone with any psychological knowledge will tell you is that anything your EX does with someone else is none of your business. That's a hard lesson to learn but you will be happier for it. If my ex husband wants to date someone else when we break up, this likely has nothing to do with me….is this person my best friend? Are they even a person I know? No? Then it's not based on any feelings my ex has for me. It is about the two of them. I should not try to learn more or even believe it has anything to do with me.  

The person who is bothered by this often has one of two problems – you forget that you do not OWN anyone. This person is not yours. If they were in a coupling with you, then, assuming you had no agreements to have any open ended type relationship, of course this is troubling that they are CHEATING. The thing is, if they aren't your partner, they cannot cheat on you. Your relationship is over and reconciliation can grant you a chance at a NEW relationship with the person, but that does not mean in the interim that the old relationship is still in existence. 

Furthermore, the level of histrionics rivals and perceived rivals cause only strengthens their relationship. THOUGHTS ARE ENERGY, and you can MANIFEST WHAT YOU FEAR because FEAR DRAWS TO YOU WHAT YOU FEAR. So, now because someone is so invested in what their ex is doing (it's generally an ex but sometimes a rival for love-interest's attentions,) with the rival, because they can't stop thinking about what went on or is going on, they then rile themselves into a bad emotional state whilst also often pushing a formative relationship into more. 

Love rivals are a huge pain in the ass for a spellcaster for hire. People have such a hard time letting it go or not overindulging in fantasies of what might be going on. They social media stalk, they constantly let it get in their head….it's a huge annoying problem and a lot of people have a hard time with it. You try to blow up any feelings the two parties have for a each other to please your client, and then the client adds strength to the undesired coupling by being afraid of it and manifesting strength for it. Yay. 

*You believe everything will go back to how it was. I don't even have to expound on this for more than a few sentences. If you believe that if I cast a spell that everything will return to how it was before your emotionally traumatic break changed you and then time passed and both of you changed than you are fooling yourself and will be dissatisfied with the outcome. Time passes and changes us. You must accept that. 

*You start getting angry about the time, money, and energy YOU invested on getting someone to come to you. Look, you and I understand each other here, because you bet your ass I invested a fuckload of my time, my money and my own energy working on this person (or on a personal target,) and I'm getting angry if you're ruining my work then complaining, but often am in a position where I'm trying to coach you through these bad behaviors you can't seem to shake, so now we are both probably a bit pissy. So if you start getting fussy to me or complaining that after all this that the target owes you something, I assure you, you are at a point where you likely are past help. Wait, what? 

Imagine you break your leg, and I put this leg in a cast for you. I tell you that you will need to be careful on that leg and not do anything to harm it (so this is like me telling you not to engage in spell killing behaviors,) and then you go and decide to go rock climbing the next day, break the leg worse, and come to me and demand I fix your ruined leg and cast for free, since clearly I did a shitty job. Of course, you didn't follow my instructions and went rock climbing (so this is like social media stalking, obsessing, or, I mean several lust for results behaviors, etc,) but I must just be the worst doctor ever if my cast for your leg isn't made of some adamantium metallurgy that nothing can get through and not you who went out rock climbing on it. SO unless I fix your destroyed cast, I'm going to have to hear how I'm a scam doctor. If I dare admonish you for your bad behaviors, again, I'm a scam doctor. Because the vast majority of my patients can follow instruction and do not engage in cast-destroying (spell killing) behaviors, I have enough to pay out of pocket to put another cast on (cast another spell.) Now you go skydiving the next day, and again complain of my shoddy work (that you destroyed again) and your grand investment. 

Yeah, I hate watching you destroy my work, too. 

Or maybe it's not that. You believe you caring about something and you spending money on it means you are owed something. So, you are the person who if you're caught holding a bloody knife while standing over a dying person who points at you and says you did it when the police show up, believes that since you spent money on a really good lawyer, you should be acquitted because you spent money. So if you work against the spell and act like a jerk to your "intended" since you spent money, that means you are owed their love and it's not fair if you don't have it. 

So, let's say my parent's dream for me was to be a rocket scientist. Fuck that I have no proclivity towards this, they just decided I was to be one. They invest money in the best schools and tutors and force me to repeat and repeat classes for something I don't really have the skills for, then say it's not fair when I don't get a job in it, because they cared so much for me to be a rocket scientist and invested so much money on my being one. Sure, every step of the way I was clearly not intended for such a job, and yet because they WANTED IT and INVESTED MONEY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN, they are "owed" it. Well when I graduate and prospective employers see I suck ass at rocket science, all that want and money…it amounts to nothing. And life is not a vending machine. You do not put money into it and something pops out. 

So if you believe you want a thing, but you are going to be defensive and rude and decide you are owed something, especially in a case wherein your intended did not ask you to invest time or emotion in getting them back, and you entirely ignored my instructions and persistently engaged in spell killing behaviors, and then think it is acceptable to get angry at your ex or at me, the person you need to get mad at is yourself. 

I think I have about ONE case a year where I'm stymied as to why it isn't coming together. Usually it still resolves and myself and the client are both surprised by the block. Most of the people who start complaining about all their "hard work" and their investment are virtually always engaged in obvious spell killing behaviors.

*You are too much when your intended comes to you (or returns.) This is kind of an easy one to figure out….instead of being a bit detached and allowing a gunshy cautious person to come to you, you smother them with well-meaning, but off-putting behaviors. You overdo it, in other words. You're overwhelming. 

*You cry all the time. Say what you will about my outlook on crying, and you're right to believe it is the product of when I was raised, when we were taught that outside of a few specific situations that crying around others was an embarrassment and generally a waste of time as is (even on your own,) because you still had to do all you were obligated to, except now some people might think that you are mentally unwell (if you did it in front of others,) and you have a headache. It is a hugely pointless endeavor, and while it may get some pity, pity is not often useful. People feeling sorry for you is not people respecting you or caring about you. So if you think "I'm crying over (event,)" is in any way a useful thing, then I assure you, I don't want you to be uncomfortable or upset enough to engage in tears, of course, but it won't help anything. It is something I politely wait for you to stop doing so that we can continue, or you're basically wasting energy on it and now you have a headache and need to still do all things expected of you otherwise.  

Everyone cries, and there's nothing wrong with that you became frustrated every once in a great while and erupted into tears while by yourself or with your bestie or someone that it is situationally- or always- "appropriate" to share that with (again, we are falling back on my childhood having taught me that this is a small number of people, and particular situations like death of a loved one are far more appropriate than "my ex got on tinder" for public displays of tears.) However in saying as much, I've yet to find the client who thinks frequent crying is normal who actually got what they wanted. It's usually driving themselves to a panic and then having a meltdown which is implicative of anxious obsession, which is in turn lust for results. If you are frequently crying, you probably will be disappointed. It's a huge red flag for me. 

*You read this and believe that spells are impossible to manifest, then. Look, the average person asks me to get them something, has a few moments of wondering how it will happen, or asking me "unhelpful" questions, or even does a few of these behaviors minimally in the course of a love working….and yet this is NOT something which they suggest is normal, helpful, or even expected of everyone to engage in. They really do just let it go, and come back with great news about the work manifesting. If you don't feel you can do that, I strongly suggest you avoid love/reconciliation magic altogether. 

I can't wait for the inevitable backlash from this article, but I'm hoping it's helped most of you! 🙂 No this isn't about one person, because I see the above behaviors in about ONE IN FIVE LOVE SPELL CLIENTS so it's relatively frequent. 

~Cat