Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

  • Hey Occulties,

    So after many years of complaining about parrot bites in my deck, missing corners on a card or two and just enough damage they probably should have been replaced 2 years ago, I’ve finally cracked a new deck to begin the process of seasoning them for use, which will take a few months. 6F9E1F47-B3AC-4E0A-A744-D50D1560C30B

    Notice the cards of the left look bigger? That’s from wear and tear and is clearly a well worn deck. The fresh new deck is so sleek and I forgot how nice it is to shuffle fresh cards. πŸ˜‚

    Both are the exact same version of Rider Waite, just one is brand new and the other is about 6-7 years old. 

    Just thought it would be interesting for y’all to see!

    ~Cat

  • Hi Occulties,

    So today I'd like to discuss a problem I see on chat groups, and sites that offer a place for people to make an audience where someone can make broad predictions about the global future (sort of like here in Portland we used to have Monument Square Jesus, who would stand in Monument Square preaching gloom and doom and Jesus,) and get an audience who isn't sure that this person should be followed. So, while I realize many of you are hateful towards the Bible or Judeo Christian things, or are just completely ignorant thereof, without trying to tell you this is a historically accurate book, I can say the story of Moses, where Moses is picked by God to be his voice on Earth, Moses says "why me? I have a stutter and I'm not exactly someone people listen to," and God is like "Because I said so." Well, yes but Moses was also the ADOPTED BROTHER OF PHAROAH, so not exactly a nobody…

    That person saying the angels sent them a message from God to tell you that (insert predictions here,) is most likely, however, a nobody. In fact, I'm a nobody compared to who Moses was alleged to be. I am in NO PLACE to assume that I am here to direct you because heavenly (or earthly) beings commanded me to tell you some prediction. I do not have a Messiah complex. I do not want to be the Messiah. Blind followers scare me. People who want you to believe that they are some leader with great predictions of global events? They want followers and acolytes. 

    Because WHY WOULD ANY SPIRIT CHOOSE THEM TO BE THEIR SOOTHSAYER? I have spoken with some Pretty Big Deal Spirits in my day (because I'm an occultist and so I'm of course a fangirl if this spirit is a Pretty Big Deal and will lower itself to speaking with me on my petty little human problems,) and yet I am not here telling you I'm their Prophet sent to tell you what they want you to know. In fact, let's say the Archangel Michael himself told me something and I didn't immediately go insane from being in the presence of an angel manifested into flesh (there would be a reason they start with "be not afraid," in the Bible, – because they are supposedly quite terrifying to behold,) – you can assume because I'm more or less nobody, that this is going to be something which isn't "Tell the world that (insert Doom & Gloom,) and go forth and let everyone know," merely because even if I did, who the fuck am I? I am not Pharoah's daughter, I am not a princess, I am not even probably read by 1% of the world's population. So if someone on social media is saying their spirit guides sent them to tell you grandiose world predictions, I'd honestly take that as they just want attention or that they might have some mental illness issues. 

    And if we go back to the story of Moses, this brings about a very good point… Moses DID NOT WANT TO BE A PROPHET. No one should WANT that job. It's shitty job. He'd much rather have run off from Pharoah, not saved the Hebrews, and stayed being a shepherd because that was a nice, warm, simple life. Just like, I like writing you a blog, and I love helping you learn the occult, and love all of that, but I don't want to give up my life enjoying the beauty of Portland, or having to be followed by a HUGE PERCENTAGE of the world's population as a teacher and guide. I like it on the smaller level, sure, but I would not want to be a prophet. People who WANT that job are people who will not ever be PICKED for the job. 

    And at this point, with as many humans on Earth as there are, let us reasonably assume that you would be a somebody if you were picked for that job. Maybe not, but I'm pretty sure you posting predictions on Facebook or on Reddit or on Twitter is not likely to be some no name person with 200 followers sent here to be God's Prophet on Earth, m'kay. 

    ~Cat

  • Hey Kids,

    There seems to be a zeitgeist of stupidity on the internets so I am here today to cleanse you of that notion.

    I keep seeing this foul turd: "A real spellcaster will give you video of the service." 

    Alright, no, and go back to TikTok, and see who has a good video set and can go through some believable motions for you because you're such a novice you don't know better if that's your proof of "real," which hilariously, I have been sent some of these videos and they are clearly not real spellcasting (but that may be why they floated into my inbox, to be fair, because someone wanted to know if that was "real.") I know SEVERAL REAL SPELLCASTERS who all do the work and not with a film crew present or with their phone filming them or anything equally stupid. Hell, most of them need a special request to even take pictures for you, but then….most of the professional spellcasters I know are going to be over 35, and many of them closer to 50 than they are to 40. It isn't a generation raised to think that everyone has to be videoing themselves every 10 seconds, but more one that was raised with ROTARY PHONES – that's right, not even a landline like you know it, but a ROTARY PHONE. With age often comes experience, too, so keep in mind….the most experienced spellcasters for hire are likely not to be into filming themselves. πŸ˜›

    However, that doesn't mean the older generation doesn't understand and possess smart phones so let's get into some problems with "must take a video of the service," shall we?

    Let me start with the obvious – when casting a spell, it is imperative your full attention is focused on what you're doing. As I'm sure you can imagine, feeling self conscious about your appearance or being worried about your chant being inaudible to an audience is not exactly a helpful manner of focusing yourself. Additionally, most practitioners are solitary practitioners these days, so this would also imply that we do not have "helpers" to video for us. This means most of us are going to have to set a camera somewhere that you are more than likely going to see our backside more than anything else so you can see the altar. Heaven forbid the camera slips, because I can't speak for anyone else, but adjusting a fucking phone while working for you is going to be bad for the spell I'm casting. But hey, you want theatrics over results, so let's keep up here… Now there is the next problem that while I can't speak for other workers, I also work on TIERED TABLES for altars, so basically there is a high probability that now I will have to remove any information that could identify other clients who's active work is currently on the same altar on another tier, which could negatively impact their work. Again, whoever "needs a video" prefers theatrics over results, so for arguments sake, let's say I set you up with a special set of altars just for you, and since this is going to take up a fair amount of my already limited space and will require me to set it so my birds can't get into it, I'm gonna be charging more for that, you can bet. So, now you have a video of my back which is probably blocking most of your view of the altar. Hmmm, meanwhile I am distracted by the fact that I'm having a bad hair day, that I'm not sure if I'm being audible in all spots, and thinking of the camera when I should be fully focused on your work. 

    "But if they won't do it, they aren't real!" 

    I recently paid a lawyer who costs $300/hr to help me, and I do not recall EVER asking this person to turn on a video camera to prove to me that they were actually lawyering on my behalf during all billable hours. This person makes in an hour far more than I do, and yet, I trusted them with my money to do their fucking job. Shall I contact her and let her know that if she does not video herself then, I'm not going to believe she worked that hour? 

    I mean, if I can't see it how do I know? 

    I know because I'm a fucking adult, and furthermore not everyone grew up with a smartphone and an unnatural addiction to video, therefore many of us still find video to be…distracting. AND this is why you may very well end up with a FAKE VIDEO. Wait, what? See, if someone insists they need a thing but it will be a detriment to the service itself, would it not reason that there are workers who would make a super spooky exciting video for that person…then perform the real service? I mean, if you're recording something for posterity, the last thing you need is someone having a video clip of you looking sweaty and mumbling to a figural candle or acting in such a manner that may turn into an unfortunate gif if you're unlucky. In fact, that way you could actually charge extra, have a few friends come by, splice up a fancy video with you going through motions the client thinks is the spell, then go ACTUALLY DO THE SPELL!

    Because imma let you in on something…Spellcasting really doesn't look all that cool a lot of the time. Certainly if you're just looking at my butt and my hair in a messy bun whilst I cast the spell, the most exciting thing about that is getting to look at my butt – and I'd be clothed the whole time. Meanwhile as you have caused me great inconvenience, I'll be charging you extra for the video, and since I honestly don't know anyone except future Mr NinjaCat who can help me with said video, it will legit be an iPhone 8 propped up some place where I hope it doesn't slip and a lot of intelligible mumbling with exclamations throughout. Since that would really be me, I'd have to charge double for video service as not only will I be required to set you up a special altar, I'll most certainly have to do the work at least twice, seeing as the first time I will be very distracted by the video. Soooooo, you're paying that much extra not for results but for a shitty video because some inexperienced neophyte told you that it's all on video now. 

    There is nothing wrong with being insecure about if someone is or isn't working for you, and wanting to feel comfortable with your worker prior to hiring them – this is why I love a pre-spell consultation, because we can discuss the problem and the client's concerns. However, you're just as naive to trust a video of a service as you are to not trust a lack of one. Neither will tell you if someone is "legitimate." If a person can't speak to you with any sense of understanding or depth on the type of services they provide, and doesn't show an extensive amount of knowledge regarding their craft, this is the sign that they are clueless, and are probably not the worker you want. I'm not saying that there are not legitimate workers who video themselves, but to demand it as part of a "normal deal" is….short sighted, naive, and ridiculous. I cringe when I see people post active spellwork videos and images because that's actually hurtful to the spell itself when the spell is active and not manifested yet. 

    Furthermore, clients who do not understand spellcraft at even a beginner level are going to get very hung up on details of little importance so this is going to actually INCREASE the amount of work even more on the spellcaster. Trust me when I say I post on a fair amount of beginner groups, and many of these people are reporting phenomena which is not magical or arising from spellwork or even of importance and then being "blown away" by a sign that they wholly created in their own fantasies. These are people trying to learn spellcasting, too, not just a client who probably knows even less about the process itself. If you think I want to explain my cockatiels flock calling at minute 9 in the video and how that's just something annoying that they do for 3 weeks while an overly anxious client waits for manifestation, you're wrong. 

    So, why is a "video" not a necessary item when purchasing work for hire:
    It is a possible distraction for the spellcaster
    The person could just be making something up even then, or going through the motions
    It creates a situation where a client can become more anxious or have lust for results which could be harmful for the spellwork
    Assuming the spellcaster works for multiple clients, other client's confidentiality may become problematic depending on the set up

    Again, if this is something you want, discuss it with the spellcaster. However in the meanwhile, stop telling naive people that if someone does not offer this, they must be fake, as all you do when you do that is encourage the fakes to send video and make more money. You won't change the people really doing the work into taking on a large and tedious task of adding video services because you come from a generation that thinks everything is on film normally now. If it's a make-or-break thing with you and no video is a deal killer, I'm sure you will find someone who will send you a video, albeit if it's real or something they took time out to make and charge you lots of money for but isn't real is not something I can tell you. 

    Since I know someone will ask, would I ever post a video of a spell I've done. The answer is yes. I would have Future Mr NinjaCat video for me, and then on top of this, I would be sure it was a relatively visually interesting spell to watch.  We could also go over the stages of prep. However in this instance, while I'm fine with it being a spell for a client if the client is agreeable there, I'd much prefer to do this for educational purposes because then I don't have to wait to post the video so that the manifestation is not impacted. I value the educational aspects of doing work on film, but in practice, I would worry about limiting myself and harming my own focus, as well as exposing personal details of my clients if filming spellwork for hire. Asking me to half-ass my work for a client because you want to be entertained with a video about it is actually a very awful request of me. I don't like video, either, so you're dealing with that part of me wherein I'd much rather read and see pictures to learn, and looking at a YouTube video is going to be avoided by someone like myself, which is a large part of why I have never posted video of me casting spells. I find online videos annoying. I used to be cool, then I got old. 

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are free to choose a worker that sends video, but you might be limiting yourself and avoiding very experienced workers who have practiced spellcraft for the public for decades merely because you make such a demand of your worker. Ultimately, the choice is yours. 

    ~Cat

  • Hey Occulties,

    So judging from my email (which you can find me at cat and then at and then original ninja cat – but that's one word, – dot com,) I have some frustrated readers. Why is it that it can be so hard to get a spell to manifest!? Is it some "karmic fuckery!?" No, I mean, long and short of it here is 1. Experience (as in you have some,) 2.) Knowledge (as in you did more than read a book once, and you have a strong knowledge of your target/s if you're working on people,) and 3.) Strength of will. Also you need to keep in mind that nifty Sphere of Availability, which means basically if you want to a brain surgeon but you never passed high school and are barely literate, one little spell won't get you there. When we think of the Sphere of Availability we need to think of it a bit like a tank of gas for our car. We can move towards the desired destination, but we may need to fill up that tank a few times, so each "filling of the tank," means we make our path so we reach goals in the Sphere of Availability, which then allows us to reach our next goal when we do our next spell, and so on, until we finally get the desired end.

    Now, I listed EXPERIENCE as a very key component in getting your work to manifest. I can hear all of my beginners shrieking angrily, but this is what it is…because technically ANYONE can build themselves a perfectly functioning house just by using books and figuring it out, but who's the most likely to end up with a structure that won't be immediately condemned…someone who builds houses for a living or me who can barely nail two boards together? Yeah, someone who builds houses. Now the thing there is you can gain experience (every magician was a neophyte once) but it takes a lot of work and a lot of practice before you're experienced. Now, back when dinosaurs ruled the world and I was just learning magic, when I did a spell I did not do something cringey I found on TikTok because even at the age I was when I started casting spells, I'd have known that isn't likely a trustworthy source for learning real spells (and thankfully shit like that didn't exist then if I was so inclined,) and then I didn't go onto Facebook (which also didn't exist,) and tell everyone about the very suspect spell I found on TikTok that I just welcomed them to think to death (remember, you should not discuss active spells with a large group – either keep it yourself until it manifests OR share with 1-2 other people.) Instead we had these weird paper rectangle things called BOOKS, and I in no way was able to ask the author questions, and so I had to kind of blindly start experimenting when I began to outgrow the huge amount of beginner books rather quickly. This taught me a lot more than reading a book. This taught me so much about the properties of herbs and items and I began to excel quickly, but before that, I was like many of you probably are, and I was like "Is this a good spell?"

    Because I was so inexperienced at one point I couldn't tell bullshit and dumbshit from real shit. Again, there were no cringey TikToks to be found anywhere, yes, but I was young during what was known as the BULLSHIT ERA of Llewellyn, where they straight up sold books with such completely bold lies in them including a guy taking a made up phrase from a popular movie and calling it real spellwork, so there was still plenty of cringey stuff to be had. 

    What I came to learn is there is definitely 100% bullshit spells (they abound!) but a lot of people are using very real spells, they just don't really have the experience to do it, and so they are using very real spells…that then fall flat. I mean, anyone can dance ballet, but without training, you're not apt to become a prima ballerina, and so why is it so many people are surprised that…well, experience is the best thing. The more experience you have casting spells, the better your spells will manifest. This is not unfair….just because you want to be as good as someone who's been casting spells for 30 years, chances are, your first few spells will not be nearly so impressive. And that's OK. You had to crawl before you walked, and walk before you ran, and with spells you also should be starting out learning very basic work, and then moving forward. 

    Because KNOWLEDGE is a very key component of manifestation, while knowledge comes with the aforementioned experience (because you should always be learning more and more and more because of you practicing spellcraft regularly,) it also means knowing your target and knowing how the spell works – what triggers it uses. So as I'd actually said earlier today on reddit of all places, one reconciliation spell might use guilt as a trigger to make the target return, another may use coercion, and yet another may just sweeten someone up and make them more forgiving. This is imperative to know your target in these cases, and to have a good understanding of the petitioner and target. I also strongly recommend having an understanding of psychology if you want to work using love spells. I can't count the number of times someone complained an attraction spell wasn't working and they were scaring off the people affected by the spell by staring them down in a bar or something similar, which would be intimidating, and actually put people off. So, by using our knowledge of spells, and using our knowledge of the situation worked on, we can choose the correct spellwork, and this will give us a much more likely to manifest spell. 

    For example, some years ago I'd written in an article something I see from time to time where the person casting spells has received forgiveness from a reconciliation target, but the person will not return to a romantic relationship with them. In these cases the person was almost always doing "straight up reconciliation," meaning they used only Reconciliation oil and usually on a pink candle or pink candles with reconciliation oil on a sweet jar. This is because they are lacking a drawing element (to draw the person back,) and to be fair I would also recommend love drawing as the spells ARE DOING WHAT THEY ARE MEANT TO DO, and now you have that person forgiving you, so now you need to work on reigniting the love and passion. 

    Now STRENGTH OF WILL is another huge component – this may not mean what you think it means. I know people who obsessively desire a thing, to the point of distraction, and yet they lack strength of will because they do not have the will to stop doubting their own work and obsessing. πŸ˜› And here's the nifty thing about that….obsession is a form of addiction. After being married to an alcoholic, if you told him if he quit drinking, we could stay married, he'd likely have said he would and then within an hour he'd be drinking again. This is the same as obsessing. If I tell a client if they stop obsessing about the situation, they can have what they want, inevitably they say they will and then they are back scanning social media accounts for information in the next hour. They lack STRENGTH OF WILL. So if you have the strength of faith, if you do not obsess, and you choose to work with your spellwork instead of against it (easier said than done at times,) then you will have more successful manifestations.

    This is also your focus when sending energy via spellwork. So let's say I am working to get someone a new job. I have a very strong clear picture of this and I am very aware of my energy as I work the spell. I am trying to move it into their auric sphere to attract this job to them right then and there. If that sounds "weird," then welcome to spellcraft. πŸ˜‰ When you speak to experienced magicians, we all have a very similar sort of way of how we move energy, – even if it is to request a spirit to move this for us, – and then there is a small subset of people who swear it literally has nothing to do with that, and if you merely have the right ingredients the spell will work. Well, if I give someone all of the ingredients to make cookies, and then don't supply them with a working oven, they can't cook them. Energy, and the will you put behind that energy, is the oven in that example. In fact, it's quite interesting, this strength is a bit like a muscle, and the more you cast spells, the more successful you will be, because it is like you are strengthening your inner "spellcasting muscles" which in turn makes your spells stronger when you cast them. You can work out this "muscle" just by doing meditation, but I recommend, again, frequent spellcasting as this helps you gain EXPERIENCE and KNOWLEDGE while also working out this nifty STRENGTH OF WILL. πŸ™‚

    I see many of you just kind of giving me a little glare because you wanted an easy answer…. I guess add crown of success oil to your spell then. Maybe that will help if you want an easy answer. πŸ˜‰

    ~Cat

    THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT.COM, and I offer a cash reward if you catch a plagiarist. Please let me know ASAP. 

  • Hey Kids,

    So have you ever noticed that when things go really bad, there are people who want to help, and then there's this person "Oh, that stinks. Hey, so my dog did the funniest thing yesterday." You could be on fire, and they'd be like "Damn, that kind of blows, but you know what I thought about? Don't you think the word frog is a weird word?" In my time on this planet, I have come across several of these infuriating creatures. Each and every time I am absolutely blown away by their own inability to sympathize whatsoever with whatever horrible tragedy I have just told them about. Mind you, were they to scuff their shoe that day, you'd have a five hour cry-a-thon over this scuffed shoe. Meanwhile, you could have lost your entire family in a horrible gold smelting accident just moments ago, and they'd act as if you'd merely misplaced the remote.

    Now, you might think "maybe they are just suffering from mental illness," and that's a fair assessment, but they all seem to have one thing in common… They are all sheltered and never had real problems. This isn't to say that there aren't plenty of lovely people who lived such lifestyles and never showed this lack of ability to empathize or care, it's just it seems a common factor among those with this particular problem. My theory, – albeit it's an armchair theory at best, – is their lack of empathy comes from the fact that they don't really know suffering having never really suffered. So, when you say "Holy shit, the doctor tells me I have 2 weeks to live!" they think to themselves "Well, hmm…I left my jeans in the dryer too long and burned myself on the zipper, so that's like, totally bad too," and they spit that out, as if to say "I understand." 

    So, sheltered people, allow me to help you….If someone comes to you and they are like "Holy fuck my life is in shambles," and proceeds to tell you something that belongs in a country western song, the equivalent response is not that you bought shoes in the wrong size or that you bought the wrong version of a song you like, and now you have to spend another dollar and change to get the right version. In fact, it's better to just say "Wow, that's terrible!" Instead of saying "Does this mean you won't be paying me the $20 you owed me by the end of the week?" Then you say something like "I'm sorry, I don't know how I can help you. I've never been in a situation nearly this bad before." When you say that DO NOT change the subject to something glib and without substance in an effort to change the subject. This is not just impolite, it's rude and insensitive. So if you tell  me "Cat, I think I just swallowed rat poison! I'm foaming at the mouth and choking," I would not reply with "Oh, that's bullshit. My bird just learned to say Bird loves Momma!" Instead, I would either try to HELP the person either by offering help (like calling poison control, or emergency services if you ingested poison,) and I would at the very least listen to you and if I could not assist and it was an emergency I'd even say something like "I'm very worried about this – is there someone you or I could call?" Notice, I am not redirecting the conversation to myself, but trying to HELP.

    And admittedly, sheltered people, most people are not actively dying or in danger, but when someone says to me "Cat, I just lost my parent last night to some illness," I do not reply with "That's shitty…guess what I caught on Hulu last night!?" because doing that would be rude. Instead, hopefully I have not found myself entirely emotionally drained by my day, and I'm going to say "Oh wow, I'm so sorry for your loss! If you need anyone to talk to I would be glad to listen. I know this must be so hard on you." Notice again, I am offering to LISTEN (since in this scenario, I am not going to resurrect the dead, right?) and I am not redirecting the conversation to myself. 

    Now what if it's something in between? What if it's something I could possibly take actions to help with BUT the person also needs someone to listen and make them feel supported. Well, I consider if I CAN help (that is, if I can afford to help, or if those actions required are not a huge amount of effort and would completely undo me,) and still I would listen. I will not change the conversation to myself. 

    Now, I get a few of you shaking your heads as you've had the friend who is always a hot mess (or maybe you've been that friend,) and after awhile you've done all you can do. If it comes to a point where the person constantly needs help, and you can't help more, and it's dragging you down, the proper response is "Gee (person), I really am sorry for what's going on. Unfortunately I really can't help. I do hope things get better for you!" You don't say anything else. If they say anything, you're just like "Yeah, sorry that happened to you," and nothing else. If you can't help, you don't redirect the problem to something else. 

    Because there is nothing worse (and I know from experience, having had a few bad things happen to me in my day,) than a person who replies to your real problems with "Oh. I totally can't find my toothbrush right now and had to use a new one," as if this has any bearing on your tragedies or is a problem of comparable value. πŸ˜›

    Hopefully this will help prevent some future curses or reconciliation cases, and I hope it's been educational. πŸ™‚

    ~Cat

  • Hey there Occulties,

    When we think of money spells, many of us falsely think of big lottery wins like winning a Powerball jackpot. This, firstly, would be a gambling spell, and secondly would be a very stupid manner of using a gambling spell as the odds are terrible. Gambling spells are best used when you're working with superior odds, for example, you would do better with poker or blackjack – heck, even roulette! – than with something that has such abysmal odds as Powerball. πŸ˜› So, we are not focusing on gambling spells, and the following WILL NOT LIKELY NET YOU LOTTERY WINS…. 

    Instead, this is more likely to increase business, bring a bonus or a raise, or improve your finances from non-gambling means. After some thought on the matter (I've posted my favorite easy money spells before, and they all work fantastic,) I've decided my readers wouldn't mind something a bit different, and which will CONTINUE to bring you prosperity instead of my usual which is often going to need to be re-applied to keep the prosperity going. In fact, this is a great business warming gift or gift for yourself when starting a new business! πŸ™‚

    You will need:
    A tree that can live INSIDE THE HOME or which is fruitful (non-deciduous) year-round on your property which you will plant (this can be a little jade tree, if you are an apartment dweller, a ficus tree, kumquat tree – honestly any shrub or tree that lives inside the home is just fine, and outdoor trees must not drop their leaves or go dormant in the coldest part of the year – perhaps it is being that I am from Northern New England, but I prefer jade trees or trees that bear fruit indoors for this spell) 
    Gravel/stones
    5 coins (preferably of the largest denomination of your country,)
    Potting soil 
    A pot (if an indoor tree)
    A piece of brown paper with all of the edges torn off
    A PURPLE or ORANGE permanent marker (like a sharpie)
    Charms (preferably fake coin charms, for example, like this,)
    Orange, Gold, or Purple ribbon – or for the fancy kids out there, gold jump rings in a large size
    An witness item (biological item or photo) from the person who the tree is for
    Money drawing oil

    This is pretty easy for those of you with any gardening experience. For those of you who have none, I am also the master of killing houseplants here and there (ha!) so, you are my people. πŸ˜‰ This is why I STRONGLY recommend a jade tree. These little guys are hardy! For my readers more experienced with plants, you might actually prefer a fruiting tree. 

    I absolutely love these as new business gifts, but they do work better for someone with magical experience. πŸ™‚

    The most difficult part here for some of you will be the name paper. You will write the name out 5 times like this 
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe (replacing the name John Doe with the target's name.)
    I know some of you were pretty excited when I used Jason Momoa for my love spell target last week, but he's rich enough without me putting him in my money spell. πŸ˜‰ Now turn the paper so the names are running vertical and you will write the command five times… If I make this for myself, I write "Money tree draws money to me," but if for another it's "Money tree draws money to thee", and when you write this you do it once per line (like the name,) so you have a sort of "grid" of the command crossed by names. Place the personal item in the center, and fold towards you once, and then turn and fold towards you again. Now anoint that with money oil, and anoint your coins similarly.

    Next get your pot (or dig your hole if you're working out of doors,) and place some gravel in the base for drainage. Put a light amount of potting soil into your pot, and then place your name paper/item into the pot, and the five coins around it, about equidistant from each other. Place a bit more soil in the pot, and then place your tree into the pot (or hole,) then pack it around to secure it with your potting soil. Plants like soil, so be sure you give yours plenty. Tie or secure an ODD AMOUNT (so 3, 5, 7, 9, etc,) of charms onto your plant, saying as you add each one "Money tree draw money to me/(name of target,) and now add water to your plant when finished, saying "money tree, draw money to me/(name of target,)" five times as you do. Now say "Money tree, I awake your power to draw prosperity and money to my (name of person)'s home, and so long as you are watered and given sunshine, I ask you to continue to draw prosperity forth, as is my will, so be it!"

    Now the reason these work so much better if YOU keep that tree? Well, every time you get a raise, a bunch of business, or some financial gift you weren't expecting, you can add a charm to the tree as a "reward," for it's service… plus, you tell them every time you water them "Money tree, draw money to me," and the plant will listen. It's a great little gift and the longer they are kept fed and alive, the better they work. 

    I'm sure there will be questions, so please ask! 

    ~Cat

  • Hey there Occulties,

    So, as I'm sure I've told many of you, math is not my strong suit. πŸ˜› When going over my finances this weekend, I realized that I'm pretty much going to have to shoestring certain budgets to afford other things I actually need. This is not about want. Yours truly would LOVE to get a new dress and new awesome shoes and stuff…. this is need. Admittedly, there are current "need" things in the budget which are not related to "wants" but are needs that normally do not exist in the budget, so despite my math-related lack of finesse, it's more of a problem of getting extra where I can get it, and cutting down farther on things which…I'm not sure how much farther I'm going to cut down, but where I lack in math skills, I excel in creative solutions. πŸ™‚

    Whilst trying to figure out this shiny new budget for unexpected huge expenditures (basically good news is I'm almost definitely not moving, bad news is, my SUPER AMAZING AWESOME LAWYER LADY does come with a very harsh retainer fee, but is everything I prayed for and dreamed of in an attorney, and so I'm glad to have her on my side,) I came to realize that…well…I need something to promote more sales and running sales isn't exactly that promotion. I'd never really thought to advertise, and you know in the past I've even been combative against it. :P 

    Perhaps I was not doing myself any favors….before the pandemic, I never had a problem with getting massive website hits from all over, but I guess in this brave new world, I might need to advertise. πŸ˜› So, my children, I send you forth into the world… Contact Me and let me know what your "codename" is, and then feel free to put a link (to get get this, you click on the title of the post, then copy the url,) to your favorite spell article in my blog, (either privately, in a PM or email to a friend, or in a group)  and tell whoever or whatever group it is to give me your "codename," and they get 10% off any service. You can also tell a friend about my website and blog (no linking back to blog required!) and have them use your code name. YOU will get a graded discount. For a single paying customer you can get 10% off your next order, for 10 paying customers total you'll get 25% off your next order. (if you use your 10%, you cannot then get the 25% when nine other people make a paying order, lol, so you have to let it add up.) Then it will restart again, because 1/4 off the price is a lot. πŸ˜‰ If you place a link to your favorite article in my blog, and let several people know whatever codename you choose, it's going to increase the traffic a lot, and you're more likely to get 25% off.

    So, just have your friends tell me the codename (and let me know what it is,) if this is just you telling a friend and making a sale, they can just tell me your name, but if you're on a site or group I recommend you use a codename. They can buy anything and get 10% off, and you can get up to 25% off – even off the most expensive services I sell. I will work over here on my end, and go about putting up more spell articles. Win/Win. πŸ™‚

    Thank you everyone!

    ~Cat

    Update: I've had some questions, so I'm going to add them here as most of them have been pretty good insightful questions

    Q: What if I want to get money back instead of a discount for bringing you a new client?
    A: After some rumination on that, I can offer that I will give up to $60 cash back per month for bringing CashApp only clients. Why? Because the possibility for abuse is too great with other payment processors. So, how this works is you bring me a client who buys a service, and when they do, I'll take 10% off of their order when they pay with CashApp. I will then take 10% off of the amount I have grossed from the sale, and take that 10% and send it to your cashapp. So, just for a nice easy figure, if your referred party buys something which normally costs $100, I will give them a spiffy 10% off, which means they send me $90 for the $100 item on CashApp. I then send you 10% of that $90, which is $9. 

    Now, the kicker is if you send me someone who buys a $100 item, and pays $90 with their discount, and then you decide you want to go purchase $400 worth of things from me after getting $9 back from CashApp first, you now have lost $31 because you don't get 10% off. INSTEAD, you get 10% of what they spent using CashApp which might not be a lot. It could work in your favor, it could not work in your favor. The only information I can give back is going to be a refunded amount as all transactions are private. 

    PLUS, keep in mind you need to really know who that is that you sent me. If you and I hardly know each other, and you say "Cat, buy this awesome thing!" And I tell you I am going to check it out, for sure, and you say "If you use the code [CODENAME] you can get like 10% off!!!" And I'm like 'Wow, thanks!" And then you say "But use CashApp or else I won't get $$ for your making a purchase." I'm going to be like… What? And then I'm going to feel weird about making a purchase. 

    You know your own life, so I mean whether or not you want a fancy code to give people to make it all look like we're on the up and up when you tell them they can get a discount with that, or you just want to tell a buddy that you sent them (both work, honestly,) and however you want your discount is up to you. πŸ™‚

    Q: What if I send you like 100 paying clients! Could I get something free then?
    A: Um, fuck yeah. I'm not even sure I could handle all that business, but if you add 100 paying clients to my roster, I'm happy to give you a gold star and something free. πŸ™‚

    Q: Does my discount expire? 
    A: No, within reason, it won't. If you get say 25% off and you want to save it, and ask for something in a year from now, just remind me you have the discount. I have it written down, but I assure you, I won't remember and I'll send a bill for the regular amount. If you tell me, I'll check and you'll get the discount. Try to use it within 2 years. πŸ˜›

    Q: Will you decline to allow the business I send to hire?
    A: It's possible. I don't do this to be hurtful, but I openly admit that I can't turn people into a werewolf or give them a job as a surgeon if they've not even achieved a high school diploma. They DO need to make a purchase for me to pass anything on to you, so just asking people to make inquiries isn't necessarily going to net you results.

    Q: What if the person I send to you makes a chargeback – will you take my discount away or charge me?
    A: No. People who make degenerate chargebacks are assholes, and I deal with all of them and get my money back virtually every time. However, if you send me like five of them, I will assume you are all in on something together to try to get free stuff, and then I will not honor any of your business further. In that case, if I were you, I'd use the cashapp option above. I won't charge you for other people's bullshit, but I won't let you send me more business or take yours if it becomes clear something stupid is going on. :P 

     

  • Hey Occulties,

    Just a note that all previous promotions/sales are ended, so if you didn't get in on that, you can't get the discount.

    Today I'd like to take a stand for my fellow occult-authors, occultists-for-hire, and psychics…because a lot of you lack the insight into our job, and while some people are just too rude and should be banned from interacting with anyone (not just people in my business,) I think A FAIR AMOUNT of bad behaviors are due to people not really understanding what our duties to the public/client/customer really are. While I can't say I speak for everyone here, I do know a fair amount of my peers will agree with the following:

    Asking a substitution for any ingredient or action to a spell without any context is beyond ignorant, and one "substitution" may require several more in the same spell (as it might require other ingredients to be altered, for example, to compensate for lacking the properties of a single ingredient you want to substitute,) and furthermore the answer will change depending on what you are asking about.

    Despite being a relatively small field of study, we don't all know each other, nor are we all intimately aware of each other's doings.

    A fair number of spellcasters are actually Christian, and do not see this as being in opposition to casting spells. Therefore, calling them "devil worshippers" is pretty rude. Of the Christian spellcasters I know (and they fall under several denominations of Christianity,) they are often better versed in the Bible than most average Christians. 

    Almost every depiction you see on television, movies, and even in novels is almost entirely devoid of a basis in real magic. 

    The reason some people spell magic with a "k" (magick) has literally absolutely nothing whatsoever in any way imaginable to do with differentiating it from illusionism (stage magic) as "magic" is an anthropological term. The "k" comes from Alestair Crowley's influence, and actually many people tacking on that "k" are not, by his definition, practicing magick. So, if you see someone tacking on a k to magic, and you ask them why, and they don't know the real reason, you probably should not believe they are an expert in any fashion whatsoever. It's actually RUDE to act like everyone you deal with who doesn't have an interest in magic is so absolutely ignorant that they believe you mean you're going to show them a really neat card trick if you say "magic" to them. 

    Demon/Daemon is an INCREDIBLY BROAD TERM. Basically any neverborn (so never born into a living body) spirit is a Demon, with the exception of the creator spirit. This means a "demonic spirit" is actually something that can possibly be very benign, but the term itself is so incredibly broad as to be almost absurd. For example, I am an animal, a jellyfish is also an animal, – now how much is it that I have in common with a jellyfish? Or a scorpion is an animal as is an eagle, and both eat other animals, so are you confused that they are the same thing or even similar? Well, now, but a rabbit is also an animal, so is it the same as a scorpion or a jellyfish or an eagle? If you answered no, not nearly, this is why people who understand the term demon groan when you instantly believe all spirits under said classification are something you saw in a bad movie.

    Certain people keep passing around the idea that you must be a kind, just, loving, understanding, humble person to be psychic or cast spells, even going so far as to say if you use spells for "selfish ends" your ability to cast spells will be taken from you (by some divine judge of right and wrong who apparently shares human moral codes, weirdly enough, and it is silly to think something that far beyond a human's ability to reason shares our thought processes). This is like saying that if you cut and style hair for a living you must also be all those things plus incredibly good looking, otherwise you can't cut hair, and if you try to, your hands will fall off and scissors and trimmers will just fall apart when you try to use them. Talent DOES NOT spring from ethos, so while it's nice to believe only nice people have power of any kind, I strongly suggest watching the evening news regularly because you'll realize that isn't true. Using magic for "bad ends" does not necessarily carry around any risks other than eventually you might run into something or someone far stronger than yourself who will kick your motherfucking ass (magically/spiritually/physically,) and since you were such an asshole, there's nothing you can do. πŸ˜› IGNORANCE is actually the biggest impediment to spellcasting ability along with OBSESSION, COWARDICE, and THE INABILITY TO KEEP KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR SPELL TO YOURSELF UNTIL IT HAS MANIFESTED (ie To Know, To Dare, To Will, and To Keep Silent [Keep Secret], are four traits of effective spellcasters.) Notice how nowhere is it stated "To Be Nice," is a necessary trait. :P 

    Paying someone to cast a spell for you is actually quite in accepted practice for very many paradigms of spellcraft, while being prohibited in a handful of paradigms. So just because many WICCANS feel it is wrong to accept money or profit to cast a spell for another (it is prohibited in many Wicca sects,) that does not in any way apply to people who practice several ATR practices wherein it is a VERY ACCEPTED practice to expect payment to do work for others (and in fact, a belief I was taught is that you always pay the spellcaster something or else you will owe a debt to them which gives them power over you.) 

    You pay a spellcaster to CAST THE SPELL in accordance with their expertise, NOT FOR THE OUTCOME. This is similar to paying a lawyer to defend you or help you navigate the law – you may still not get the desired outcome, but the lawyer is there to help you with his/her expertise to get the BEST OUTCOME….or paying a doctor does not guarantee you will be cured, but the expectation is the doctor is the expert and will do his/her best to solve your problem. This is why you should generally not trust a spellcaster who guarantees an outcome or will give you your money back, because anyone who is knowledgeable about magic will tell you it is impossible to guarantee and they will not be able to get back their time, energy, or ritual supplies, so they will do their best, but success can't be guaranteed (exceptions can exist, but it's a pretty common bit of advice). Instead, you hire someone who knows spellcasting and how to cast a spell and will work with you and try to keep your expectations REALISTIC, just like if you got caught at a murder scene holding a bloody knife over a dying person saying please don't stab me again with their last words, hiring the best lawyer ever probably isn't going to get you acquitted on all charges…but might get you less time and a better sentence…but not getting a full acquittal would not make said lawyer a "scammer." 

    Clients who call their reader/worker "scammer" when angry are like guys who call a girl a "slut" because she turns down their advances, and get really bad reputations for acting like that pretty fast. If you've done this before, please understand the person you're speaking to isn't offended, but disgusted, and you're only hurting yourself, – that person won't want to work with you again and the more you engage in behaviors like that, the more people will decline to allow you to hire them as you will gain a reputation. Everyone loses their temper here and there but many moons ago I had a client who went to another reader, and didn't like what the reader said, so he immediately told her off, and graphically, and went way overboard. She cursed the bejesus out of him. Imagine doing a reading with someone you never met, and he's like "No, that's not right," and then tears into you at length….I mean, it's fair to say "I'm not feeling like you're picking up on my energy, and I think I'll avoid the rest of this reading," but he really went to town. It took me almost a month to get that curse off of him and it was vile. I would compare this as I've consulted an attorney or three on the bedbug problem I was having and when the attorney was clearly not a suitable match (and in one case one of the most ignorant bad attorneys I'd ever consulted on any matter,) I thanked them for their time and then moved on to the next candidate. This is how ADULTS handle such things. 

    A psychic reading does not often give the psychic the type of insight people think. A good movie called "The Gift" with Cate Blanchett several years ago was one of the better movies as far as close to a realistic portrayal of what it's like to be psychic. That said, as above movies are for ENTERTAINMENT and this is why most shows and movies depict being psychic very very wrongly. It generally is not a frozen moment in time, a movie clip, or a alternate reality where I can move around and do whatever I want (especially if I'm freaking ON THE PHONE with you, because I'd have to be pretty deep in meditation for the world to entirely melt away so I can walk around, etc. There are times I pick up something which has more meaning to the client than it does to me (I'm entirely confused,) and even times where I pick up something and neither of us understand it until it comes to pass. The client also immediately begins to alter many outcomes by FOREKNOWLEDGE, which is why if you know you'll be hit by a car at 5:30pm in a particular intersection, you would avoid that intersection, therefore making the prediction no longer come true. It is best to use this foreknowledge as a GUIDANCE TOOL to your next actions rather than an inescapable outcome that you are doomed to follow through on or guaranteed to have. 

    A good spellcaster has so many different spells for so many different types of spell, – I have said this recently wherein I say I have you know 40 different versions of this specific spell where enough of the elements are the same that you'd know they were related, but which all are slightly different, which then falls under this subset, of another subset, of yet another subset, and then reconciliation which is a subset of love work. That's true for nearly every spell I have…it's one of so many of the same kind that to assume there are only a handful of good spells for any condition or problem is actually quite naΓ―ve. Without understanding a situation, the people involved (if applicable) and the desired end, a spellcaster is working rather blindly to just apply "generic money drawing" say to a situation. 

    While clients don't want to hear it, sometimes people forget that the root of their problem is in no wise magical. If you want a person to marry you, but you cheat on them, refuse to hold down a job, and lie constantly, for example, it isn't a spell's fault if they continue to reject the idea. You're the one refusing to make yourself a good candidate for your chosen partner by engaging in those activities. A spell may make them feel more attracted, more loving, and desire you so strongly while their brain is like "No effing way am I marrying a lying ass cheater," which is, frankly, a sound choice on their end. 

    This is true for me as it is for my clients and absolutely NO ONE (including me) wants to admit it but the more whining you do about a situation the less likely magic is to be effective, which has less to do with the actual whining and more to do with the emotional state of the person doing it. The more I've bitched and moaned and felt self-pity over something, the harder it was for me to fix with magic. I've noticed a similar trend with clients. I don't expect anyone to be stoic all of the time or never complain, but if your day to day setting is constant petulance about a situation, chances are you need to work on YOURSELF and healing before you get to working magic on the situation. It really sucks and I know that from personal experience, because I've been there more than once. 😦

    Just because technology has allowed far greater access to occultists, spellcasters, and psychics, that doesn't mean that they are here to do everything for you for free. I really miss that cool thing people did in my neophyte days which was a lot of learning by trial and error which really really really helped you learn. 

    A good psychic doesn't see some bad things coming in their own lives, and great magicians have problems. Did you know doctors can also get cancer and it doesn't make them a bad doctor? That psychiatrists can have mental problems? Did you know a mechanic's car can break down? A fireman can have a house fire in their home? Plumbers sometimes have leaky pipes? Nutritionists enjoy some junk foods, too? Yep, it's all true. People have problems – all people, – so if a spellcaster or psychic has some, it doesn't say anything about their expertise.

    I hope this has been educational!

    ~Cat

    PS- halfway through my money spell article and about 1/3 through the attraction spell….it's coming along. πŸ˜‰

    FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!

  • Good Morning, Occulties,

    So for my hardcore readers who text and whatsapp me, my main requests were either "MONEY SPELL" or "SPELL TO MAKE EVERYONE SEE HOW FREAKING GORGOUS AND LOVEABLE I AM," and the third runner up was, predictably, "gimme back my ex." Since we discussed bringing back your ex YESTERDAY, today it looks like I am in the position to try to stir up the money spirits in your home, or draw you some attention from admirers then….Well you asked for it…because nothing is free, it comes with a lecture. 

    For starters, keep in mind, when it comes to money, your sphere of availability. This means if I want 200 billion dollars, the likelihood is that your favorite orange-haired rootworker (that's hopefully me,) doesn't have one tenth of that in her sphere of availability, and it's a bit like asking to ride a unicorn into work today. If, however, I wanted, say $5000, that's within my reach even if it's not within my wallet. So when we ask for money via money spellwork, always keep in mind that the figures must reflect what is a possible. HUGE AMOUNTS may require changes you don't like. RO has a story where he asked for a specific HUGE amount and his house burned down one Christmas, only to get a check from insurance which was for that amount. πŸ˜› Clearly he didn't ask for a kajillion dollars, but you get my drift…if the only place in your sphere of availability is a huge disaster (for you, anyhow,) maybe keep your figures a bit more acceptable.

    Next when it comes to attraction, please stop acting like magic is a fantasy plastic surgeon. It is not. When we do attraction work, people are attracted to us, but if we don't do anything to keep up our appearances, or if we unknowingly emphasize those less than spiffy traits we already have, it can fall flat. So, if you decide not to take a shower, or if you forget you're missing all your front teeth and you left your partial at home, you might just not get the desired response. Even when using attraction work, you need to set forward your best you. πŸ˜›

    OK, kids, give me a few hours to get the articles up and they will be up! :) 

    ~Cat

    In the meanwhile, click on my name if you would prefer me to do the work for you. πŸ˜€ I'm excited to speak to new clients or old clients. 

  • Hey kids,

    So, unsurprisingly, my previous article was setting you up for this article… 

    Let's discuss reconciling that ex of yours – now as I said before, just because you return a jerk to you and make them feel warm and squishy towards you, they will not somehow become super enlightened, and will still have all the same problems that made them a jerk, so, bringing them back just means more of the same BS if that person is a jerk. Don't say I didn't warn you.

    BUT almost 20 years of giving that warning, and people don't heed it, so let's get on with the working! I think I ****MAY*** have shared this before. If I have, or if I've shared some derivative of it, I apologize, but it's a very, very effective spell to return an ex. I also really like the use of candles as these workings do tend to be the easiest for newbies to work these spells. :)  

    You will need:
    A figural candle to represent yourself (or the petitioner)
    A figural candle to represent your ex (or the petitioner's ex,)
    Fine (as in very thin, not as in super quality, haha,) copper chain
    Wire snips (or a pair of pliers which have the ability to snip wire)
    A witness sample (biological item, preferably,) from the party to be reconciled to the petitioner
    Pink Rose petal powder
    Balm of Gilead bud
    Licorice root powder
    Poppyseed
    A medium sized cake tin 
    Sand
    Return to Me oil
    Follow me Boy/Girl oil (Hetero ladies and gay fellas use Follow me Boy, Gay ladies and hetero fellas use Follow me Girl)
    Love Me or Love-Drawing Oil
    A piece of brown paper bag, with all edges torn, not cut
    A green sharpie or permanent marker
    A non-ritual candle (any one will do, I usually just have a spare tea light for this stuff,) 
    A screwdriver 

    OK kids, let's get ready to set this up, because some of you are going to find this complicated. While I could wax prosiac on the many days and planet hours and whatnot that you could usefully do this in, for the beginner, just try a Friday during the first quarter of the moon (so right after the NEW moon, not the full.)

    Start by readying the candles to be placed on the altar. To do this, you will carve a little area out of the heart region of the candle to represent the TARGET (so your ex or the petitioner's ex, depending on who the spell is for.) To do this I strongly recommend heating up the end of a screwdriver and using this to take a bit of wax out without breaking the candle. Take the witness sample, and wrap this around the balm of gilead bud, saying "(Full name of target,) heal your heart towards (full name of petitioner,) and return to (name of petitioner,) this very day – immediately, now, now.) Now place this into the heart area of the figural candle, adding a drop of Return to Me oil, and then seal this area up using wax from your spare candle on the figural candle. Carve the target's initials over this, and say "I baptize you, (name of target,) that you represent (name of target,) and are now subject unto my will, so be it." Take your screwdriver, and heat it and make two holes through the hand areas of your petitioner candle. Scratch the initials of the petitioner into the heart area of the petitioner figural candle, and say "I baptize you (name of petitioner,) that you represent (name of petitioner,) and are now subject unto my will, so be it. Anoint both candles with all oils. Using wire cutters, cut 2 lengths of copper chain, tying one around the "neck" of the target's candle, and one around the "ankles" of the target candle, leaving a tail long enough to run each chain into the holes bored into the hands of the petitioner candle. make the chains "tight" so that the target is held close by the petitioner.

    Interesting to note, I do a multiday version of this where I tighten these leads "held" by the petitioner candle. That is going to be a really difficult thing to master if you're not exactly artsy and craftsy, but you may contact me if you'd like to try. Every day the target candle is "pulled closer" and tighter by the petitioner candle until they meet face to face. It's a very effective trick. >:)

    So, with you facing the altar, and this being YOUR RIGHT and YOUR LEFT, you place the tin on the altar. Herein you pour some sand for fire safety purposes. DO NOT USE GARDENING SOIL, IT IS FLAMMABLE. Your candle representing the PETITIONER (this may be you) is to stand on the RIGHT facing towards the candle representing the TARGET (so party to be reconciled to petitioner, maybe your ex.) The candle representing the TARGET is to be on the LEFT facing the candle representing the PETITIONER. Remember, these are figural candles and they do have faces. 

    Sprinkle rose petal and licorice powder over both candles, and poppy seeds over the targets candle. 

    Making your name paper on the brown paper you will want to write the target's full name nine times using the green sharpie. So if my target was Jason Momoa (haha,) it would look like this:
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa

    Now turn the paper so the names are running vertical, and write the command nine times, crossing over the name to create a sort of "grid pattern" (this is gone over in here in a questions you've asked me article, so please check the archives if confused.) So my recommended command here would be "Return enthralled with love and desire for (petitioner's name)." Write that command 9 times in green ink also. Spit in the center then fold this in half TOWARDS YOU, then fold it in half again to quarter it (so if you were to unfold it it the creases would look like a plus sign.) Place this beneath your cake tin. 

    We are ready to begin. Start by lighting the petitioner candle, and say, while looking at the target candle and envisioning the target in your mind's eye, "See here (name of target,) I light this light, the light of the world, the light you chase like a moth to flame, and you cannot take your eyes from it. Your eyes are evermore drawn to (petitioner's name) and you chase after his/her light," Now light the wick to the target candle, and looking at the petitioner candle and seeing the petitioner in your mind's eye say "And see you, (petitioner name or "I see now" if this is yourself,) now the bright light of your love (target name) returning to you, drawn to you, tied to you by your lead, by the chains of love which you hold him/her by, and hold tightly to." Now raise up your hands so that your left hand is to the "back" (but not upon – please keep your hands at least a few inches away so you don't burn yourself,) of the target candle and your right palm to the "back" of the petitioner candle. Envisioning the couple happy and together, say (with your hands still in this position,) "Now is this couple rejoined, (target's name), you are drawn by my will and the will of (petitioner name – or just my will if it's yourself,) to return full of love, and desire, and need for (petitioner name,) and to remain by the side of (petitioner name) until such time as he/she sees fit to release you from the bonds of love. Go to him/her immediately, this very moment, this very second, and make haste, for every moment you resist the call to return to (petitioner,) the stronger your urges to be with him/her become." Drop your hands and say "This spell shall not reverse nor place upon me any curse, as is my will, so be it!"

    Allow the candles to burn out. When they have, take the name paper and place this near the front door to your home. Yes, under a framed picture or in a potted plant is fine if you are an apartment dweller, and for apartment dwellers, use the door to your apartment. 

    I'm sure there will be questions, so please ask! I am always available at cat which is at my business site, being originalninjacat.com ;) 

    ~Cat