Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

recent posts

about

“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • Speeding up the Manifestation (and why that’s often really not your best idea)

    Hello Occulties,

    Today I'd like to discuss what is often so desired by my readers and clients, – how to speed up your spell manifestation! We've gone over lust for results rather often on my blog (and I basically am the person who has made the occult world decide that's an actual topic apparently, lol, because until I started writing heartily on the subject, it was oft passed over,) so I'm assuming a good portion of my readers know that's frequently the cause of slower manifestation, but it's been awhile since we discussed intentionally speeding up a spell's manifestation, and when this is and is not appropriate. 

    Of course, and I know this is upsetting to most of you, it's most often a VERY BAD IDEA to speed up a reconciliation or love type working. And, of course, this is very difficult for many people because they are suffering very badly without their loved one by their side, and if so-and-so could just be with them, they would stop stressing out so very bad (or so I am told.) The thing is, what you might see as a much-needed break from all of your pain and heartbreak is likely to actually lead you to more serious heartbreak. 😦 What? Why?

    When we are working on someone in love and especially in reconciliation, we need to keep in mind that speed of manifestation may actually be detrimental. It often leads to a quick sexual tryst, or a very very tenuous peace that quickly shatters and makes the situation even more difficult to mend than before. I understand you feel anxious and believe any tiny ray of hope is going to make it all better, but if you were starving and I offered you a single bite of your favorite food or a gigantic feast of foods you can tolerate but are not fond of, if you would choose that single bite of favorite food, you'd quickly find yourself regretting it when you realize the feast of foods could have tided you over for a week, and now you're just starving again, thus making you feel WORSE. This is very much the same. That "ray of hope" quickly turns into a deeper desperation when the situation comes crashing down. 

    Love as we all know is a complicated thing, because human beings are also complicated creatures. Quick results are often very tenuous results, and therefore the impact of this quick result isn't apt to bring around a substantial change. While that might not matter when we look to change our lives using spellwork to get a job (once the job is yours, it's irrelevant if the spell soon fades as you already have the job!) or even for quick work on bills or to get a minor legal infraction cleared up, when it comes to love, that lasting and strong influence is far superior to a quick result. And quick results are not always good in other areas…if you're trying to convince someone to see something your way and do as you want, that person might change their mind and see things your way for only a day or two, which will frustrate you. Controlling spellwork is often something that needs a great deal of maintenance as well as frequent application. Not surprisingly, you're again working on controlling a person and their emotions (people are complicated, as I said above,) so angling for a quick result might actually provide a substandard manifestation.

    BUT, I am not new to this world, and I already know that several of you will not heed my wise words. Heck, this whole "Why hasn't this manifested, – it's been three whole days!" stuff in my inbox has merely increased as society becomes more acclimated to an "instant gratification," type of world (and if you expect things to turn around in under three days, then I hope that works out for you,) so just keep in mind, you were warned, and if your situation becomes more dire after a brief shining moment of you getting some of what you wanted quickly, then just know, I am not going to give you any sympathy. 😉

    So, often the easiest answer is the one people want. When you say to me, in a generic sense, "Cat, how can I speed this spellwork's manifestation up," I will tell you – add Red Fast Luck to any spell except cursing spells. All that speech-making and that's the advice, ha! ;) 

    It's, of course, not the only answer, but it's the one many were looking for all the same. ;) 

    That which falls under the correspondence of Mercury is often also going to help with speed. So, if you use a yellow-orange (a golden orange color,) candle for luck, communication, or success, for example, this is going to bring a speedier result. 

    Also, I like to use lemongrass or alkanet root to help STRENGTHEN the power of any (positive) formula (so not great for cursing type stuffs,) so if you have either on hand, sometimes that extra strength will help speed the result WITHOUT making it a tenuous result (so, it's not going to superspeed it, but it's very helpful to add just a bit more speed while also making the spell STRONGER.)

    ROADOPENING (which I love,) is also helpful to speeding a lasting result your way. Roadopening helps remove obstacles which prevent desired change from occurring. While if it's a monumental obstacle that you're well aware of (example – you want your ex back, but he or she has become engaged to your rival,) then you will need to work on the GIANT KNOWN OBSTACLE as well; but roadopening helps us push back those nagging unseen or unacknowledged obstacles that we have keeping us from desired change. Even just to help bless your life in a general sense, doing regular roadopening work will improve your life. 

    Petitioning St Expedite is also a common practice for fast help for your problems. I've written a whole article for you on it, so please take a look! :) 

    And lastly, those spells which use the element of fire or of air tend to work quickly. Before you get all excited and pull out that candle, the candle is of two elements and only one is fire, and the other isn't air. 😉 SO, while I do love candle spells and I do find they work rather quickly, usually an incense or smoke spell to be carried on the air is actually going to bring about a faster result. 

    I hope this has been educational! Feel free to CONTACT ME if you have any questions! 

    ~Cat

     

  • Avoiding Spell Failure – A Rant

    Hey there Occulties,

    I'm clearly a big believer in magic, – I've built my whole life around it, so of course I am. But it often impresses me how people who themselves enjoy casting a spell or two just can't understand a few basic things – for example:

    The petitioner is at fault for 95% of all spell failure. How can this be? Well…. Are you obsessive? Do you stalk your target? Do you constantly think about the situation being worked on? Do you obsess over your issues? If the answer is yes, spellwork may be a very bad fit for you. And the cure is basically for you to take responsibility and stop letting the situation and people involved stop having so much space in your mind. Still, every single day, multiple times a day, I get texts and emails with "So I was thinking about this all night, and I wonder if (insert name) will just like show up when my bicycle gets a flat tire in the park. I'm not really sure why I think that will happen but I had thought about it and isn't it perfect? My bike is in perfect condition, but sometimes people will drink in the park at night and leave the bottles and they get broken. Can't you just imagine (insert name) being chivalrous, and fixing my tire? I can't wait!" Meanwhile I am on the opposite side of the screen wondering what in the hell reconciliation has to do with your bike tire getting popped and what 1 in a bazillion chance it would be that your ex just so happens to be there in the incredibly unlikely event you would drive over a huge shard of glass in the park. If it's not apparent to you that you're thinking the work to death, it should be. The how and the why they come back are not something you get to know until you get them back, and your behavior is just hurting the spell. While I can say with some authority that reconciliation work most often will take a pretty normal and standard course of action, – so nothing too theatric or incredible is apt to occur, – you are very unlikely to guess exactly how it will happen before it does. Trying to do so is actually draining the spell of it's energy. 

    And if you can't let it go, stop wasting your time and energy on magic. That's all there is. It might sound cold but when you spend at least five hours a day every single day (probably much more,) like I do reading and listening to obsessive people ruining their spellwork and more or less guaranteeing themselves even more of a wait, it becomes clear that some people just aren't suited to cast spells or have them cast for them. 

    And it's not just limited to petitioners who are obsessive -  sometimes what you believe you want isn't yours to have, nor would you want it if you had it. That might sound silly, but your unconscious mind keeps pushing you to be self-defeating in many of these cases, and it becomes apparent to the outsider somewhat quickly. Several years ago, I'd worked for a client who was in love with a close friend, and who had an on-again, off-again affair with him. During an "off" time, he'd dated some crazy girl who pretended to be my client and had sent crazy, hurtful texts, which of course caused a great deal of emotional damage to my client, especially when she was at one point, believed to be the actual source instead of the victim. It had been around that time I had been brought in. So, I would reconcile the fellow and almost immediately my client would scare him off by insisting he explain himself for dating this person who had hurt her, for not believing her, and to apologize and make it right. Her target would immediately become angry and defensive, and then I was expected to "fix" this. The solution here was for her not to call him out and insist he apologize for events that had happened in the past before they could move forward, but no amount of my asking and advising her of this would stop her from doing it over and over again. Her target missed her and wanted to be with her, but when he made the move to get back with her, this behavior scared him off. This happened not once or twice, but several times! Clearly, some part of her really just didn't want him back. The spellwork was working just fine, but if she refused to follow a few simple guidelines, then it wasn't the spell that wasn't working…it was her trying to tell herself she was better than this guy, and then acting in such a manner as to prevent him from coming back. When she moved on, the guy wouldn't stop trying to get her back, and she realized all that time she could have had him, even said as much, if she'd just listened to my advice, and being as she's a rather sensible woman, wondered why she didn't. I told her she probably realized he was Mr Wrong, but her conscious mind didn't want to hear it right away. 

    And of course there are just people who expect instant results, and act out when they do not receive them. I'm not sure I'd categorize them as obsessive or self-defeating as they might be neither, but no matter how often you tell them that the result is not apt to be immediate, they will complain rather quickly that "nothing happened." While that is incredibly tedious, rude, and obnoxious for someone in my position to have to deal with (because I never said expect this to be fixed in 48 hours, and so now you are wasting my time complaining when you don't have a problem other than you're impatient,) it also means I might have a client who will shortly be engaging in very unhelpful behaviors which could ruin the spell. Furthermore I find these people easily collapse into obsessive behavior patterns. 

    Let's not forget the "married to unhelpful ideas" petitioner. Some years ago, I was tasked with reconciling a client's lover. When he'd returned and they were back together, she told me I'd "failed" her as the client's reconciled lover did not dream about her as his reason for coming back. How did she know? She'd asked him if he'd dreamt about her, and he'd replied probably not, but even if he had, he really never remembered his dreams, so he couldn't say 100%. She wanted the guy back. I brought the guy back. But I'd "failed" because he probably (no one knows for sure) didn't dream about her. Let me be frank, "dream work" is not exactly this all-powerful useful tool people tell themselves it is. Even if you take away the enormous percentage of people who don't remember their dreams, now you move onto the percentage of people who assume dreams are ALWAYS the unconscious babbling to itself and not really worthy of note. That leaves a much smaller percentage of people who are going to even pay any dream that they may have any mind. And let's say your target is the kind of person who places a great deal of importance on all of their dreams. Well, out of the ones they are apt to remember, not all of them will be anything to do with what you want, and those dreams which are the unconscious babbling incoherently to them can interfere with the ones you are trying to send a message through. So, this is why you can probably HEAR my eyes rolling the moment you suggest dream work, although I will do it. Keep in mind, I don't feel there is NO MERIT to dream work, rather I think some people just think it to be more useful than it often would be. HOWEVER, if you task me with something – such as the above, to return a lover, – and that lover returns, then it's neither here nor there how it happened. That isn't failure. One's unhelpful ideas of how spellwork SHOULD work in their heads is not often the best course of reaction in reality. All that tells me is that the petitioner is very green/naive about spells and how they work, and also has some serious control issues. I mean, I'm not picking on my "dream people," I've had the same logic applied to the Intranquil spirit being used for everything, as well as many other specific kinds of magic. 

    This isn't nearly an infinite list, and the reality is that spells do not require some amazing feats of mind control and patience and zen to work. Instead, they require something far more frightening and difficult – for the petitioner to be honest with themselves and for that person to actively work on their own behavior. It requires you to have FAITH in the process and not try to micromanage the outcome, those involved, or HOW the spell manifests. That might mean, for some people, that readings are not helpful, and can actually harm their active spellwork. 

    Take for example those who want a reading to gauge how a spell will manifest – this is quite common, honestly, and for the most part, it's not going to be problematic, – but certain people will actively harm the manifestation by taking whatever the reading said as an infallible truth. So if I say to a client that I think she is wearing a particular green dress, she might go out of her way to frequently wear this dress to "attract" the outcome. As she so frequently wears it, the dress gets ruined before the spell manifests. Now she becomes despondent and morose and worries it can't happen. This leads to lust for results and spell harming behaviors. Another client is told he runs into his target at a Walmart. He thinks to himself that this must mean he is at the store closer to his target's home, and takes the extra time to drive there when he needs something from Walmart. What he doesn't realize is the target was supposed to run into him at the location closer to his home. 

    Let me let you in on something… I've been psychic my whole life, and I would describe it as having a sense and foreknowledge of a larger event coming definitely, but then the "fine details" are in constant shifting flux. So what dress you wear or what store you shop at are likely not going to be the details to get hung up on. It is the major events that are the important part. If you want a job at a specific company, it's not really relevant in most cases what the tie the interviewer is wearing will look like, and yet I guarantee in just this month alone at least 10 of my reading clients will hold on to a little detail like that, and even try to use it to "draw" the outcome they want. People like these little details because they feel like you are more on point, and there's nothing wrong with that, but when it becomes unhelpful and starts to create a fixation in some people, it becomes a situation where I actually start telling the client I won't read for them because it is prolonging their manifestation phase. 

    This baffles some people but I might get myself a reading once a year or so, if that often. I read for myself less than once per month. I do pick up on many things as it is an innate gift, but I do not focus myself on my own life to get the deeper finer points unless I have a sense of upcoming danger. I am a much less anxious and wound up person for it. People who live in the past are depressed, and those who live for the future anxious as they say, and it's not wrong. I don't dwell on my past, nor do I fixate on my future. If you're becoming too dependent on readings or dwelling too much on what has already happened, you need to come back here to the PRESENT, and keep your mind focused on that. 

    Many many years ago, when I fell in love for the first time, the gentleman who I fell in love with and myself kept running into each other repeatedly well before we even struck up much of a friendship. I'd met him for the first time and had a conversation with with him, and thereafter for 6+ months, I would literally run into this man everywhere, and to be fair, there is absolutely no way it could have been on purpose for either of us. In fact, meeting up with him would even be incredibly unlikely in a few cases. While the story ends badly as most stories of the first time one falls in love generally do, there was a very strong sense of things having been "meant to be." I've seen similar cases of this happening with people in my life who are important in my life. HOWEVER, if I "planned" to run into anyone or had even had my mind set that I could be running into someone who would later become greatly important to me, I would likely not have had those relationships at all. If I realized how important these people would be to me, or the impact they would have on me, such knowledge would have completely altered their impact. Now, sure, some of them brought me some incredibly painful lessons, and had I been forewarned, I'd surely have avoided them entirely, but in retrospect, if I had avoided those people, I would not have come into contact with many of the absolutely awesome people in my life who had a very beneficial impact. 

    So, I say the above in the hopes that I can help illustrate how you can become a person which spells manifest for…because it may surprise you but the person who has strong manifestations is not the one who has a very distinct plan on how they will react to some very specific scenario…it's the person who doesn't have to plan that, or does not require some exceedingly exact series of predetermined events. While magic tends to take the path of least resistance to manifestation, you more than likely are not really 100% clear on the clearest of days as to what path that is. If it's that you run into your target at the park, or that they text you out of the blue, you should be able to react to the situation presented without created anxiety. So if I was reconciling a guy, I'm going to know how to react when they reach out or I run into them. I'm not going to upset myself with events which have never occurred and then blunder through like a complete idiot because I've had an entirely different idea of what would happen than what is happening. That requires the petitioner to be able to problem solve a bit, and problem solving doesn't come from preparing for some specific social instance. I'd put it more like…say I learned survival skills so I can hike and hunt and I know which plants are dangerous and what terrain is unstable and so forth, so when the day comes that I'm injured on a trail, I wisely had packed so I can alert others to my location, and I can clean and dress my wound while I wait. I don't go out with the assumption I will become injured, but I know how to handle it if I do. Life is very much like that. If I encounter a situation which is unfamiliar to me, panic and fear are the worst response. I merely compare it to anything of some verisimilitude in my experience. I then TRUST MYSELF to handle the situation as best as possible. If you panic or seize up you neither trust yourself nor have faith in yourself….that's implicative of a person who will have a hard time with spell manifestation. Wisdom and faith are your greatest resources. Simplicity and practicality are also quite helpful. See, if you look back on the above paragraphs, there is the story of the young woman who wanted her ex back and then said I "failed" because he didn't dream of her. To me it was "Get the ex to reconcile with the client," but to her it was an overly specific and rather unhelpful series of events that had to happen PLUS her ex came back for her to consider me successful. I'm practical and straightforward. I know can control a situation to some degree, but I don't overdo that by MICROMANAGING, whereas she entirely lacks control as she wishes to master every single thing around her so that the situation becomes what she wants 100% how she envisioned it…which is not practical nor simple, nor from a human standpoint very likely. God/Goddess/The Universe may be capable of such control but for a human, we know what we want, we can put an order in for it, but if we have to dictate how and why it happens, we are not very smart in that regard and will not pick a course that will be 100% viable in every respect. That means we should educate ourselves and be confident in our own ability to react to many different situations, which would mean we admit….we don't have 100% control of how or why things happen, but that we do "plan" for unforeseen events by knowing how to handle them. Go back to where I compare this to having wilderness survival skills and therefore when I do find myself injured, I know how to get help and treat my own problem. This doesn't mean I worry every time I go out that I will be hurt. I assume, and am generally correct, that no harm will come to me. But in the event it does happen, I am not crying and fearful but know how to handle it. That is the same with spell manifestation. It's not really likely to be something you just can't handle. It isn't apt to be scary. You aren't likely to act like someone who can't find your own ass with 2 hands and a flashlight. BUT, if you become anxious, if you attempt to micromanage a situation using magic, or even you work yourself into anger, panic, or frenzy if and when that spell manifests, you may very well fumble it. 

    Hopefully this long ramble has helped some of you, – I am expecting a big influx of requests because it's about to be Mercury retrograde, and that tends to draw some exes back in the picture for all of us.

    ~Cat

  • BedBug-Infused Inflammatory Confusion Oil is Ready, but I Ordered the Wrong Size Bottles. :/

    Hi Occulties,

    This has been a fun week for me. Basically every single asshole who has been an asshole to me in 2021 has been given their comeuppance, and it keeps getting better….well, better for me, anyhow. >:) I am the wrecking ball that will shatter the dreams of my enemies right now and I'm loving it. 

    But what is even better is that because I was for some months innundated with jerks, I had a chance or three to sample this lovely bedbug inflammatory confusion on some clearly willing targets (because if you act like a complete piece of shit to me, you're volunteering yourself to be my guinea pig). Anubeion Creations did a lovely job with my Inflammatory Confusion recipe if I had not had actual bedbuggaroos to put in the mother bottle, but with these nasty little crawlies now helping to infuse their awful itchiness in with this recipe, it's SUPREMELY MISERABLE for the target it is placed upon. AND I had a nice lot of it mixed up for me for resale…

    via GIPHY

    But I ordered the bottles half the size of what I'd wanted. 😦 That's OK, Amazon can have some new ones to me in this coming week, of the correct size, too, but I know some of you had been interested in getting your own Bedbug Inflammatory Confusion, so if you want the smaller vial, I will sell these at $10. If you'd like to wait, the regular sized bottles will be $20. The small bottles will not have much of the "mother" ingredients inside. Since those stupid buggos are sneaky, there are only 5 in the big bottle, and it's looking like I'm unlikely to catch more. Possibly I could. BUT…..the nice people over at Pine State Pest have cleared out 90% of them at least, and I have one more poisoning of my home to get done and I'm pretty sure I'll be marked "bedbug free" at that point. Possibly not. I haven't seen one of those awful brown little tick shaped fuckers in awhile, but they are sneaky miserable bastards so I won't say I'm debugged until Pine State Pest does. 

    I would say I wouldn't wish bedbugs on my worst enemy, but it's actually a pretty solid thing to wish on an enemy. They don't carry disease, and are mostly just gross and make you itchy. Ridding yourself of their disgustingness is a huge expensive chore. You lose sleep, and many people are unkind to you if they find out you have them. These are all pretty acceptable shitty things to want for one's enemy, so they made a perfect addition to this formula. :) 

    IF YOU PURCHASE THIS DO NOT LET IT TOUCH YOUR SKIN IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. It is both chock full of badness and dark energies AND it could actually give you a skin reaction because there is some habanero in there. 😉 Remember RITUAL OILS ARE NOT PERFUMES! People seem to get that about the cursing stuffs, but it's always good to be sure to remind people. 

    If you're interested in ordering please contact me for more details. 🙂

    ~Cat

  • As Promised: The BedBug Saga, aka, why I’ve been hard to get ahold of

    Hey Occulties,

    So many of you had asked about what had gone on with my epic tale of bedbugs and bad landlords and etc. Let me get to it so I need not post it again, lol. Way back in possibly late October to early November, my landlord was installing a sprinkler system as per the new fire code, which, of course, was a giant shitshow for my landlord because the building is 100+ years old, and this meant doing things like literally drilling through walls with massive protective gear on to protect from the asbestos insulation. 😛 What it also meant – and what was troubling for basically all of the residents in myriad ways, was literally leaving open holes from one's unit into the communal hallways or into the next unit. 

    Keep in mind, I have small parrots and I do not cage my small parrots, and also small parrots nest in things like holes in a tree so this was like installing a parrot playground which unintentionally allowed my parrots possible access to places that they had never been. Once I realized that leaving open holes in my walls was not for like a 24 hour period, I actually had stuffed them to prevent small parrot-shaped demons from escaping into the hall or other units. 

    However – and this is up for argument, – I clearly DID NOT stuff them up fast enough because within a week or two of these holes in the walls being open, I started getting a strange itchy rash on my arm. 

    Mind you, am not a social person. COVID has not helped. I barely ever go anywhere and rare is it that I see anyone – and this being before COVID, – so it never occurred to me that the cause could be anything but me developing a possible allergy. Maybe it was stress hives? Certainly right around that time some stressful stuff was going on, so it seemed to fit. But changing the soaps I used did not help. And changing the detergent I use did not help. Furthermore, it looked so much like…well, mosquito bites…but there are no mosquitos flying about in Maine in the winter. :P 

    So I went through remedies to help with my itchy arm, but it just kept getting worse. In January, I noticed what looked like a tick in the laundry room – and not anywhere near where I'd put my laundry down, – and so I looked online and it was, as pictures would prove – a bedbug. There is no way this thing jumped off of me or my laundry, nor is it likely it climbed into my laundry upon leaving. I mentioned something to the building manager and she told me next time to try to catch one. This seemed bizarre since it was in the laundry room (the second door after my front door, no less,) but I said I would if I saw another. Then when I was watching TV one night, one skittered off my leg. Ew. As I lied in bed one night one skittered up my pillow. I caught that one. I showed the building manager. This was my mistake.

    See, I should have just suffered in silence because it just so happens I apparently had walked into an enormous trap. I was instantly tagged as the cause of the bedbugs. My landlord proceeded to set me up to look like a complete fucking asshole. You see what was news to me (and I know now,) is that the shitty studio apartment between my home and the laundry room was empty. It had been empty for awhile. I did know that these holes made to install a sprinkler system between my unit and the units to either side were still open. However the landlord started with that due to my having let someone use my living room as storage, that person was the source of the bedbugs and therefore my mere allowance of that person to use said corner of my living room was the cause of the all of the bedbugs. Well, no, that theory was proved wrong as not only is this person allergic to their bites (gets huge welts,) they also could have every single roommate for the last 3 years attest that no bedbug activity was going on when this person lived there or after. So next it was my audacity to purchase a used dresser from FB marketplace was the cause of the bedbugs….that might fit until you realize, I sleep with one foot out, and where the dresser is placed in my bedroom, they'd go for my foot. Not only that but after a thorough examination, the furniture was deemed an unlikely source. 

    But my landlord was not phased. In fact, they were going to be sure to blame this all on me, dammit, because then maybe – just maybe – they could stick me with the bill. So, without giving me any notice, they scheduled a treatment time with the bedbug company (which the pest control people tell me is about a 2 week notice), and then about 2-3 days prior to the event, gave me a notice telling me to remove what would end up being 4 car trips just to get out all the fabric stuff I needed to move, and I had to go 20 minutes in each direction for my very expensive storage unit that I paid out of pocket for, in a car I don't own (so I had to beg or pay for a ride,) while living in a city with such a bad parking issue that no one owns a fucking car. I was also told that no bedding or clothing or shoes or anything was allowed back in unless it was treated which to treat it all will cost me close to $1500. Oh, and my birds need to be housed somewhere for 8 hours. Oh, and the place needs to be cleaned and scrubbed from top to bottom. So, this is almost five years of accumulated detrius, annoying birds, and tons of money I don't have, while also costing me money because I can't work (three days just preparing my apartment was barely enough to get everything bagged and ready to go), on top of which at this point I was sleeping on the couch as it was the only place I didn't get bit, so I slept 3-4 hours a night. 

    When the day arrived, my ride was about a half hour late. I told the pest people I just needed to check into a hotel (which I paid for,) and scoot my birdies out the door. Since it was a lot of stuff to be moved, the pest people suggested that I just use the empty unit next door instead of worrying about a ride, thus allowing them to start their work ASAP. This would have actually been very easy, but the landlord refused. I told them I'd be back in 15-30 minutes. When I returned, my door was left unlocked, and my window and storm windows left open. Because it meant they could try to blame me, apparently the landlord told the bug people that clearly I'm an asshole, I wasn't ready, and that they should go.

    Mind you this could have easily been taken care of by moving all this stuff next door, and they even offered to do a preventative spray down in there after I'd moved my stuff, just as a courtesy.

    NOPE. They would not help me with any part of it, despite it actually being written in Maine tenant law.

    So, about a week later, I was sleeping on my couch, and some complete fucktard that works for my landlord (her fucktardery is legend,) starts kicking my door so loud I literally thought the door was going to be busted down. When I wake up, shaking like a leaf, the fuckhead identifies herself and I open the door. "It smells like cigarettes," says fuckhead, "don't smoke in my apartment!" (which she actually cannot say – she doesn't own the building and basically only functions by answering the phones and occasionally showing empty units,) and then told me to go down to the office. So I went and put on clean clothes and some lovely Versace perfume that Mr NinjaCat had gotten me some time ago, and there is no feasible way I could "smell like cigarettes," but the woman who more or less runs my landlord's office told me I reeked of cigarettes. I said as much, saying I'd put on a clean dress and I should smell like Versace but I guess I'd let a friend borrow my coat to go outside to smoke so maybe that's what she was smelling? She kind of just looked frustrated and then went on to say I must be treated for the bedbugs so tell her how fast I could be ready. I said everything is packed and ready to go, so it's a matter of transporting it. I was like "I guess as soon as Thursday, but because I have the birdies, I need a bit of notice." She seemed satisfied with this. I was sent some confusing literature a few days later saying there would be an inspection Monday and a treatment Tuesday. Mind you, I thought they were inspecting other units. That they were coming to give me a few pointers. That Monday, a friend and I spent the whole fucking day moving everything fabric except curtains (shower or window), and furniture out of my place. Whilst we were moving this stuff, the pest people came, and as I came up, the building manager is like "Yeah, the pest company is going to cancel again as your place isn't clean enough and there can't be a single birdseed on the floor." The thing is, I'd known I might be transporting my things so I'd left a clipboard of instructions out, and said if the bedroom was fine, expect the rest of the house at that level, and to let me know if I needed to do more. The living room looked far worse than it was as I was moving EVERYTHING OUT and I'd had it all sitting in my living room. I can't easily sweep around contractor bags of clothing that are taking up most of my living room so it looked awful, but I'd stated as much. The pest guy was in fact present in the building, and so I said, I'll talk to him and tell him that it's no problem and I'll send him pictures. She assured me it wouldn't make a difference and that he felt it would be another two weeks til I was ready.

    I was LIVID. At this point I'd lost thousands in business, I'd paid at least if not well over a thousand in transport and moving and etc, and I can't have a single birdseed? I flipped out. Totally. Flipped. Out. I cleaned the fuck out of the living room floors as I'd wanted to for some time (because again, once I'd bagged up everything we own that's fabric, that didn't make it easy to clean the floor,) and wrote a scathing email to the pest company telling them I could get a reputable exterminator who could manage a "single birdseed." 

    The pest company texted me that morning and the guy is like "No one told me you'd send me pics. Show me. If it's as clean as the bedroom was, I'll be over in a half an hour." He was mad as he didn't realize he could have spoken to me personally, and from the sound of it the landlord lied on me and said I'd never move the stuff out (I had half to two thirds out when he'd arrived, we determined,) and that I was probably missing because I was avoidant of treatment. I showed him pics. He was impressed (birdseed is a fucking sonofabitch, people, and one single day without sweeping means a birdseed vortex forms, lol, and it had been almost 2 weeks, so this looked like a whole new place,) and they came by and treated my home with no problem. What they told the landlord (and what the landlord didn't tell me,) is that not only was my place infested, so was the neighbor's unit and they were going to be back a day or so later to heat that place, and that I should expect them back in a few weeks. 

    Then I received notice that as I am a bedbug conduit, they are considering not renewing the lease unless I pay for their bedbugs and then a BILL for the bedbug treatment. Yeah. Even better, when they came to poison my place last week, I was so ready, and nice, and then had seen one a day or so later, and called the pest company. The woman who answered was like "Yeah, you should have been told there would still be activity at least until the next time we show up. Did they tell you when that is?" I told her no, they are making a point that I should look unprepared and rude. So she told me when the appointment was TWO WHOLE WEEKS IN ADVANCE, and assured me that after all of the problems she was making a note to be sure that they contacted me for anyone appointments made or changes thereto as the landlord was clearly not giving me fair notice, and that she didn't really know if it was legal how they were treating me as she thought it was illegal to have me be forced to pay for the treatments, especially seeing as I lived right near the single laundry room for a 100 unit building, where holes were open between the laundry room and my home for a good amount of time, and it was perfectly feasible the bugs got in through there. 

    Mind you, at this point, just the missed work alone is ridiculous. If I can't take appointments for two days, that is going to cost me a lot of money. Put that on top of the cost of transportation, and even cleaning (I have to use the laundry up the street now as they basically told everyone I am full of bedbugs and it looks like – though I may not be reading right, – I am expected to "treat" all my clothing at an outside laundry at full cost to me,) the cost of storage, and the fact that I am harassed (I've had the same two phone numbers the entire five years I've lived here, and yet they kick my door instead of calling,) and the short notice creating situations where I've even had to cancel and refund a few people. 

    I know someone will say "Cat, are you being cursed?" Interestingly enough that is a story for another day, but I'm waiting for the excessively awful and painful decay to be so apparent to the person who attempted that, that you will all think twice…. Stupid as the person is, they think they got away with it. No. And honestly I don't blame them for the bed bugs…..it was a loved one of mine showing particular affectation which cued me into that someone was trying to come after me. SMH, I guess some people just can't wait to find out that some bad ideas really fuck your life up good. 😛

    So, since i did promise it, there's the story…I have my bedbug-infused Inflammatory Confusion all ready as well. I put some buggos in there, and that stuff is already fire without them, just like all the recipes I give Anubeion Creations to blend up for me (thank you to Laurie at Anubeion for your amazing work again!) Let me know if you're interested. 😀

    The positive side to all of this is that at least I shouldn't be stuck outside my home on short notice during a pandemic with nowhere to go for that reason any time soon again. 🙂 If you missed me, now you don't have to. 😀

    ~Cat

  • You asked, you shall recieve

    Hey everyone,

    Because I really can't take a lot more of the "bad education" in some other larger "beginner groups" (it was fun for like a week, now all of the miseducation is driving me bananas,) I made my own group. As a plus, I can put my new articles up here, because fuckit if I'm spending time in a group, I can do that, haha. 

    If you want to be in my facebook group, go here.

    ~Cat

  • Fixing Your Love Life Is Not Always a “One Spell” Solution

    Hey everyone,

    I'm really enjoying having joined some "newbie" groups. It's so fun and enlightening. 🙂 So many people I speak to and work with learned from me, so they are already familiar with my methods and thought processes. It's spoiled me, kids. I'm spoiled. 😉 And the thing is I FREAKING LOVE WORKING ON DIFFICULT CASES! That's like the best thing ever. I ENJOY it. It is what makes my life super happy. When the pandemic took from me the business I had where people with difficult problems were like "Cat, fix this for me," I was sad because not only did I watch a fair amount of people helplessly lose their battle to keep a relationship going, but it also meant…well, let's not talk about April 2020. I had no business because no one was working AND I was living with a crazy person. It was a hell. This means not only was a deprived of an inspirational source (BECAUSE YOUR HARD CASES INSPIRE ME TO WRITE), I also had no income and also was living with a crazy person, lol.

    But now, here's the thing…if you're new to spellcasting and you say "Well, I will hire this person to do this specific spell I picked off their 'menu', or I will do this spell and all will be grand," you could be misleading yourself. Look, love is a complicated MFer. It really is. So let's say you get in an argument with your beloved and you both stop talking. Doing a communication spell may not be enough to fix that. In fact, your beloved may just contact you to give you an earload of how much they are still mad at you, and it might make things worse. :/ Or let's say you want that person to forgive you. Well, I forgive virtually everyone in my past for everything, but at the same time it doesn't mean I want any of my exes back. I am not mad, I even would tell you I love these people, but I don't want a relationship with them. So getting your ex to just forgive you? That's not necessarily going to mean they will come back to you. And if you do a spell to make them come back, well, it might just immediately disintegrate again. The list is endless.

    "Fuck, Cat, do you ever have any good news? Stop making me MORE depressed and tell me what works!" you say.

    Very well. Let's assume you are dealing with a complicated situation. I had gone over this some time ago in a series on reconciliation. You want to approach this with a PLAN. It isn't "I found this dubious spell on an even more dubious site," sort of plan. I want you to really think about your situation. I want you to think if communication has been an issue. Is the sexual aspect starting to lag. Has this person cheated. Is there a rival. You think about it. 

    Now remember, you want to come at your issues at all levels. Maybe you are part of the problem. Hey, it's okay, we often are our own worst enemies – maybe you need some healing work or work to communicate better. If your out of your neophyte phase, you probably know better than to combine certain spells. If one is "hot" and the other "cold," you can negate your own work. So for argument's sake, if you went after this 100% using candle work, you might prevent that. 

    Assuming you are super cheap, you might literally just line up some blessed and dressed jar candles. So let's say you want communication, reconciliation, for this person to return, and for them to be overwhelmingly lusty, and because this is me (and I freaking love RoadOpener,) some roadopening to ensure the obstacles are broken down, that is going to be perfectly fine and it's something a beginner can do. Great stores to find these items are places like HoodooRoots and Serafin Station. I know who runs these storefronts, and they really do some AMAZING work on their produicts. This isn't just inert fake talc, perfumed fragrance oils of no magical value, or undressed candles that are as magical as a lightbulb is (which is to say not at all.) If you run that line of lights properly, you've just done a more "beginner" version of what I do for hire (I do not run a line of lights, lol, but I DO do a cocktail of workings.) This isn't even going to be difficult. You're going to make a name paper, place it beneath the candle, light the candle, focus on your intention while saying a chant, and then let it burn out. I think anyone can do that. 

    But you *need* to stop assuming that it's one little rinky dinky spell that's going to change a massively complicated problem. I'm not trying to engender hopelessness in you or in anyone else. I want you to be successful when you work. Magic should be accessible to everyone. It should be easy for all of us to learn. That there is a lot of fake bullshit out there, that people say things like chew on cloves and you will get a windfall of cash (no you won't,) and others believe that? This is true. I WANT you to know how to do this yourself. It's honestly a very tiring job to do this for others, to explain the process, to be an underpaid psychiatrist, etc., and especially when it's not outside of the ability of the layperson to learn this stuff.  Yes, I love my job, and it's inspiring, but what's really inspiring is seeing others learn to use magic and to help shape their own lives on their own terms. So, sure, I'd do the work, but I love when you LEARN HOW TO DO IT. 🙂

    So, this week we will focus on love. I have a big spell article on money coming out too. Exciting stuff! 🙂

    ~Cat

    If you need me, contact me here

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me: NEW QYAM CONTEST, AND SOME QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

    Hey lovies,

    I recently joined a few newbie groups because that helps me learn where people are stumbling or mis-learning or just not understanding. Believe me, some of the bad teaching in some of those groups (and let me tell you it was a lot of groups, lol, so it's probably not yours in particular,) has been enlightening. For example, cursing – people are using half methods (you're HALF right, and the rest I don't know where you got that idea, heh). People are using slow methods. People are putting THEMSELVES in the curse (NO DO NOT DO THAT.) Or love – again very slow methods. People are not establishing contact with their target. People are not being told about lust for results. People are, once again, casting on themselves and making themselves worse…

    This is so educational for me. 90% of my business is return clients. I've had the same clients in many cases since the mid 00's. While I prefer that (it's easier to work with people I've worked with in the past,) it does mean I don't get to see how those new to magic are learning or what they need to know, and that doesn't help my writing. 

    BUT, I have a few very cranky mods who just felt like I wasn't there to help but rather to "sell readings" (and I currently do not have that kind of space to even take on several readings, much less  many new clients) and so to you mods, here is what a few days have taught me…and to my loyal readers, it's totally gonna be a review in many places.

    Q: What is the "fastest, and best" spell for x thing? 

    A: If you're a beginner, you assume there is the "one best spell ever" for (name need.) This would be a lie. This is actually a very ANNOYING lie. It's like asking me out of all the cheeseburgers ever made, which is the best ever and every single person has to agree with my view, or at least a large majority. There are no categories like "best fast food," or "best five star restaurant" version, which is THE BEST OF ALL TIME. Now, your friend Bob is going to say he loves Red Robin cheeseburgers, and Bonnie will love Five Guys, and then George thinks McDonald's is the best, and Annie says Snooty O'Expensive makes the best ones if you can get to that little niche restaurant to begin with. And I bet you if I lined up all of them and had 100 people in my country taste them all, there would be a fair majority of Americans saying "None of the above is the best." Such is it because "the best" is really a misnomer. 

    And it's also short sighted. One spell which is effective for one case will fall flat on another. It's the "gorilla glue" is best for this project, and "Elmer's Glue" best for the other without the person using the glue understanding the difference between the two. They see "glue" and assume all glues are created equal. I didn't get a bachelor in fine arts to tell you that all glues are entirely not created for the same types of projects and what works in one case will work in another. Try replacing "glue" with love spell, and now you're using "rubber cement" for a "super glue" problem. 

    As for the "fastest," assuming your situation SHOULD have fast work and it will fix the situation permanently (as I've taught before, a fast-acting change does not mean a lasting result but rather a short lived one depending on the case,) then…I guess earth and water based techniques can act slower…um you can do things with a mercurial energy rather than jovial (jupiter) which would be for the same end but one hits faster and lasts shorter, whereas the other is slower acting but lasts much longer. It DEFINITELY isn't jar spells if you're looking for super fast acting, which apparently in three groups, jar spells are all the rage. ;) 

    And remember, just having a spell and directions doesn't mean you will properly cast the spell. I'm not even trying to be a dick. It's the SPELLCASTER and NOT the spell that makes it strong. It's YOUR STRENGTH AND FOCUS OF WILL. If you go through all the motions, it could be a remarkable spell, but it won't gel because you didn't put that "oomph" behind it. Some beginners have some impressive strength in that regard. Being a beginner doesn't mean you can't do it. I've seen some really amazing results from beginners. I've also seen people need months and years to really start getting those strong results. Spellcasting well is a bit like working out. You get better the more you practice, and you get a lot stronger when you stick with it. 

    Q: Should I cast a circle when spellcasting?

    A: This is entirely dependent on tradition. I've not cast a circle for many years for basic spells. If I'm doing a sweet jar, I'm not going to cast a circle. I work with my spirits, I don't bar them from entering. I'm not a Wiccan and I know in Wicca, that's a very common thing – to cast a circle every time, – so another person may suggest you do. I am not telling you it's right or wrong. I'm telling you that if you were to ask me, nine times out of ten, if not more, I'd say no. I would instead strongly instruct you regularly clean your ritual area and altars after each working to prevent energies from cross contaminating, and tell you that there is nothing like a cleansing bath to help with energetic build up.

    Q: Can I use (item) instead of (item)?

    A: As someone who practices rootwork, I do have my moments of having a dislike for people who try to sanitize spells. For example I've used cremains in a few situations as a replacement for graveyard dirt, but most of the time even that would be inappropriate. Dirt from a specific place cannot be replaced by dirt you got outside in your front yard. So, no, you can't use front yard dirt as a replacement for say police dirt, or church dirt, or graveyard dirt, unless your front yard houses a police station, church, or graveyard. There is NO HERBAL REPLACEMENT for dirt. Throw out that mullien as it's not graveyard dirt. ;)  

    OR trying to work without a personal item. Pictures are easy these days but that may or may not satisfy the lock to the target. You may NEED semen, or blood, or used clothing. 

    And lastly there is not necessarily a "you can use this herb instead of this herb in all spells" substitution rule. No one wants to hear that but just because x herb can be used for love and y herb can be used for love…well salt and sugar look similar and both can be used for cooking. Interchange both in your recipies. Instead of three cups of sugar use three cups of salt. See how those cookies taste. Gross? That's because they are both used for different reasons. You can't just blindly replace an herb that is used for say healing in a reconciliation spell and replace it with one that triggers lust/passion and expect the results to be good. 

    Q: How many times do I do a jar spell?

    A: You work the jar three times a week, every week, until you are satisfied with results, and continue to work it at least once a week if you wish them to remain strong (assuming a full change will not be sustained.) 

    Q: Is there such a thing as a "natural witch"?

    A: No, not really. There IS such a thing as someone who is naturally more gifted in spellcraft than another. This is like…some people learn math faster than others, or another person can craft prose with more ease than his or her counterparts. However, if you told me you're a natural brain surgeon, but do not have education or degrees in medicine, with a focus on neurology, you sure as fuck may not do brain surgery on me. So, just having a better knack for learning magic does not mean that with absolutely no education, no years and years of study (which quite frankly, learning magic is a HELL OF A LOT OF STUDY AND READING,) or because you read like two whole books on the topic that you are a witch. You SHOULD NOT teach others magic until you reach an advanced stage of study anymore than you'd recommend that "natural born brain surgeon," start teaching college courses on the brain to people when they read a book about brains once. ;) 

    I'm not saying some people don't have more of a gift than others for spellcraft, because of course people do, just like some people are naturally better at art, or at logic, or myriad other things. HOWEVER, there is a lot of study ahead of anyone wanting to learn spellcasting properly, and so telling others you're a natural at it might confuse other beginners. I've been studying and practicing for like thirty effing years now, and I mean hardcore PhD level difficulty stuff (not "how to do a simple candle or jar spell,) for quite a bit of that time, and I would not tell you that this knowledge just floated into my head because it was wired into my brain. Not at all. It's been a lot of work. And yet, I was born with a natural gift of being able to do this work and absorb how it works, so…me before I started studying trying to lead you on how to practice because I maybe read a book once would be terribly wrong of me, even if I was always drawn towards spellcasting, even as a small child. So, no, you cannot be a natural witch. You CAN have an easier time being good at spellcasting than others. However without a metric fuckton of study and practice, that's all you are…drawn to spellcasting and you have a better mind for it than others, but you know little about it. 

    So…in light of this all, let's do a Questions You've Asked Me Contest. I will have the Prizes and forms up by March 27. Winners are chosen by me. The questions must be NEW (so check out the Questions You've Asked me) and the winner will get something awesome (like a physical prize, – and in the past we've had some pretty awesome stuff like rare occult books and amazon gift certificates and such.) There will be a runner up and a second prize. The best questions – even those which don't place, – will be up in an article for everyone to enjoy so you can even have those bragging rights. I need to create the form and and get the prizes so check back for this article to be updated. 

    IF YOU WANT TO SEND QUESTIONS NOW (UP TO FIVE QUESTIONS PER PERSON, PLEASE CLEARLY SEPARATE QUESTIONS) PLEASE CONTACT ME USING THIS EMAIL. DO NOT TEXT THIS TO ME IF YOU ARE A CLIENT AS I NEED TO BE ABLE TO PUT THESE IN AN EASILY ORGANIZABLE FOLDER. 

    And I'm really thankful to be in some of these groups. I rarely get to speak to beginners first hand these days in such large groups. :) 

    ~Cat

     

  • This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

    Hey Occulties,

    So, let's start with the GOOD part of the story. So, yesterday, despite it not being a superb mooncycle for such things (which is why I called a spirit which I am very friendly with,) I had a very very awesome session with a very awesome spirit. As some of you may know, the last few months were not fun for me. I almost died, I got infested with bed bugs, Mr NinjaCat's stalker ex became ever more stalkery and evil… It was the worst of times. I did some massive cleansing work and while things improved, they just weren't where they could be. So, while talking to my favorite spirit, I'm like "Spirit, my life could be so much more. I feel like I could do so much more. I want to do something that absolutely blows away my readers and clients, and yet here I am stifled and feeling out of date and etc."

    The spirit was like "Yeah, I realize that the last two years have been sucky. I get that. But this is going to change and rapidly, and plus you're going to kick ass on some specific cases, and that will really catapult you into being able to update your site, and get the house and life you want with Mr NinjaCat, and you know, it's all going to be better super duper fast."

    But at this point, I'd heard this before and I wasn't going to hear it again – not without proof. So I said "Spirit, look, I'm almost out of faith because look at this absolute bullshit I've dealt with in 2020, and not to complain, but the first quarter of the year is over already and it's only mildly improved. How can I trust this will change." 

    "Very well," the spirit sighed, "I will tell you of the cases which to take which will be quickly solved. You could guarantee the outcome, and I will tell you of each as they come to you, but as for the first you will have the following come to you." The spirit then described a case which a few particulars stood out. 

    "Yeah, I'm not working for that person, so OK," I said, ever the petulant child apparently. 

    "OK, but I'm going to prove I'm telling the truth," said the spirit. "When you get to your home, you will have a payment you have waited on for three years." 

    "I will wait to see that," said I. 

    I gave thanks and gave the spirit her gifts and when I got home, lo and behold, someone paid me $125 that has been owed since 2018. I shit you not. Not only that but 4 cases from 2018 had contacted me for various reasons.

    Um, wow. SO I was sooooooo excited, I even shared about this experience with you. Like…this was exciting. The spirit was basically offering me a prediction and had said I was going to have some EPIC results and how I could identify those incoming cases. This was amazeballs.

    And after a little sleep, and the first case that spirit described with the particular details coming up? It's in my inbox. I excitedly do a ton of work for today, thinking "OMG, things are going to be awesome. I'm going to literally change people's lives and get my site updated, and get all this good stuff!!!" Like, not only can I make people happy, get for them what they've been anxiously hoping for, I'm going to have what I need to overhaul my site, and you know what?

    Well some of you are just not funny at all. Silly requests are not going to be anything I look at again. If you think you have a rough case for me to look at by all means contact me here (I hope you are the next case I'm told of because I do know who to look for next), but otherwise, I'm not making any more grand gestures for the public in articles. I'll just stick to teaching via my blog. 😛 Like don't steal my sunshine, yo. Some of you are not funny at all. This is why I generally stick to working with clients I know, and quite frankly, I'm starting to think the people I was told about might just be clients I already know and work with. I'm also giving you a dirty look if you asked me to like…make you a mermaid. :P 

    ~Cat

  • *SEE NEW POST*

    Due to epic smart-assery, this post has been removed, and see the new post by clicking here. 

  • Myth VS Reality

    Hey Occulties,

    Today, I'd like to discuss "wrong ideas" people get in their heads about spellwork, the occult, etc., which this is not really going to be a finite list or near to it, but definitely some of the things I currently see all too often. So in no numbered order, here are some myths that people need to stop believing:

    Myth: I'm a "born witch!" By the virtue of being born and liking the moon and spooky things, I'm instantly magical!

    Reality: This would be like saying you're a born brain surgeon because you think brains look cool, and then walking into an operating theater, and operating on someone's brain without ever having a single class in medicine or even a degree. You'd probably kill your patient. Or maybe you're a born engineer – never studied it for a single day, but you were born an engineer, so you start building a skyscraper, and it's hugely unstable and kills many people. But that's OK, because you were born naturally gifted with expertise without study or practice, right? 

    That's what you sound like when you say you're naturally a witch. While I'd say some people will have more success and they might be gifted with an innate talent for magic, without years of practice and study, you are not a witch, or a sorcerer, or magician. Liking spooky stuff, the moon, or dressing goth does not have any relevance to your ability to cast spells whatsoever. On that note, stop posting "signs you're a natural witch," as anyone with even the slightest iota of a background in the occult is making fun of you behind your back if you do, and certainly would not take you seriously for some time after posting such a thing. It may surprise you, but I actually know a great deal of magicians who look more like a soccer mom than something from a B-horror movie.

    Myth: Love spells are "evil" and "unethical."

    Reality: I suppose it is not my place to dictate what you or anyone else finds repugnant or inappropriate. And since I'm writing this out for my class (and I hear it from the members of the peanut gallery every time I run a class on love spells,) I might as well say it here… For starters, MOST people who say that love spells are unethical also believe that people can create "love zombies" and/or can successfully do a working in which beautiful people (generally women) will instantly get into position for a sexual encounter, regardless of where they are, and having never met the practitioner by the practitioner just using some sort of mystical chant or something (and yes, if you're curious, people who think this type of working exists generally are Incels.)

    The reality is that even if you're quite good at love workings, that if the relationship is not compatible, it will eventually fall apart. I liken it to breaking a lamp. The first time you break it and glue it back together, you can't even tell you broke it. The 5th time you break it and glue it back together, it's hugely unstable and looks awful. The seventh time you break it, you can't even get it to hold together. I mean, I understand, sometimes you'd be great together, except this one thing that seems trivial to you. He doesn't like your job, or she doesn't think she can move to Pittsburgh and long distance isn't working. So you change your job, and you try to entice her to move to Pittsburgh with offers of everything she ever wanted and more, and it still keeps hitting a wall. And if it DOES keep hitting a wall, there does come a time to give up. If you love that person or ever did, you will want to. If you just want to "win" you will keep going until nothing you can do magically can convince them to ever come back. So if love zombies existed (people that are your slave because you put a spell on them,) drawing them to you would be all you ever had to do. There would be no return to me spellwork needed. But, nope, that's not how it works. You're working on a human being, and that human being never stops being capable of having their own motives, or making their own decisions. I'm not saying that you can't really do some impressive work on them and see very clear and visible proof of your own ability to influence them with your spellwork – definitely you can, – I'm saying that at the heart of it all, they are still themselves (so you won't change their core personality,) and are still capable of taking actions and making decisions that you may not like. Clearly, they could not be your "puppet" or "zombie" then. You can't "force" them to be with you and stay with you, you are using spells to create a situation where you can nurture love or restore your relationship, you are influencing them to be desiring you or staying with you or returning with you – but if you do nothing in the mundane to keep the relationship working, or if you are not compatible, they will eventually leave. 

    The idea that it is conniving and evil can also sprout from the idea that influencing another with the use of magic is inherently wrong (though surprisingly no one cares about influencing someone to hire you for a job, it's just in regards to love.) Well, I'm fine with people feeling this way, it's when they get up on a soapbox and criticize others…because the reality is that all of us are sneaky and use many non-magical things to persuade a desired mate to want to get naked with us and love us, and these people who criticize the use of magic are doing those sneaky things too. I mean, when I met Mr NInjaCat, he himself would admit that my gigantic knockers played a part in me catching his eye and coming to speak with me. I was wearing a low cut shirt, too, and I was not and am not unaware that wearing a low cut top can attract the eyes of men. Is this a magical power? While I'd love to tell you that I have magical titties (because that would be hilarious,) the reality is that I was using my figure to influence men to speak to me. In fact, the way men and women dress is them influencing others around them to perceive them in a certain manner, so if you feel badly about influencing people, I suppose, you pretty much should only show yourself from the chin up and through video probably at this point, so we have no idea of what you're wearing. And when I'd been dating Mr NinjaCat for about a week, he hid a rose in the kitchen the night before that I would find when I got up for work. This is also a form of influence. He's leaving me pointless gifts so that I know he is thinking about me and wants me to smile, which is going to make me start feeling love feelings (instead of just lust, because Mr NC was FINE AF and I would be lying to say my attraction to him did not start almost entirely based on lust.) So I guess we can say you cannot buy any gifts for your prospective partner, either, since that's influencing someone and influencing someone in regards to love is evil. If you think that wearing clothes to highlight your figure or giving your maybe-girlfriend a rose is not evil, then congratulations, you probably won't find love spells evil either. You are INFLUENCING someone, not BRAINWASHING them when you use love work. AND, with all due respect to my own readers, several of you are newbies to spellwork, and whereas I might be able to get an ex acting wild with passionate lust, if your magical "muscles" are not yet all that strong…the same working might get you some flirting and not the follow through. I think people often overstate the power of a spell, because they just assume the person working it has been spellcasting a long time. I have seen some incredibly impressive outcomes with people new to spellwork, but at the same time, this isn't just saying words and making hand motions, and I've seen even more newbies get some result but not the strong one they'd hoped for. 

    So are love spells evil? No, though I do concede that people sometimes overuse them when something is over (and frankly, most magicians have done so at least once,) and that they can be used with less-than-kind motives (like trying to draw someone back just so you can tell them to fuck off again.) If you personally find them distasteful, that's fine, but if you pontificate on how bad people are for using them, you may be more hypocritical than you realize in your own speeches. 

    As for the "Make all hot bitches bend over and give up that azz because I say a certain chant," people, all I can say is please get some mental help, and it's not gonna happen, bro, and part of the reason women won't have sex with you is that you're a dreadful misogynistic jerk who is way too desperate. Everyone despises incels except other incels, and those are all dudes, so unless you like dudes in a sexy way, maybe you should try finding a new group to hang with, too. 

    Myth: If I purchase this magical tool, I'm a magician/its inherent magical powers will work with absolutely no effort on my part!

    Reality: The one I see most often is people who use condition oils (come to me, follow me boy, etc,) as a perfume, and yet never with intent (which would be laying a trick on yourself in some cases,) and it's no different than spraying yourself with Axe body spray and expecting it to make you irresistible to women. It won't. Condition oils are actually, for the most part, not perfumes. Some like Cleo May are meant to be used as so, but not most. If I want to curse the fuck out of people I don't put Black Arts oil on. If I want you to tell me the truth and have the truth blow up in your face, I don't put my Liar Liar Pants on Fire oil on myself (you can specifically request this recipe at Anubeion Creations, by the way, just go to custom oils, and ask for Cat's Liar Liar Pants on Fire.) If anything, I go out of my way to let neither black arts or liar liar touch my flesh. So why is it if you're trying to get someone to love you, you're wearing the condition oil? Should you not be putting that on something to represent the TARGET? Because yes, you should be putting it on something representing the target. You're already smitten, clearly, or else you would not be trying to attract that person. 

    I realize that some of you are also huge Harry Potter fans, but you should know that a magic wand is for focusing the power that is coming from the magician holding it. It's directing the energy OF THE MAGICIAN, see, so you waving a wand about and saying stupid Latin phrases will not do anything other than make you look like you're doing Harry Potter cosplay, because pretty much that is all you are doing. 

    It doesn't matter how many cool magician's tools you buy or own. If you don't know how to use them, it's no different than me owning a all the things I need to fix a car, but knowing nothing (including what a car looks like) about cars. It's pointless to have all these tools if you have no magical ability. In fact, it's 2000% more important to have the right knowledge and to have amazing skill than it is to have any magical tools at all. 

    If you get yourself a $4000 beautiful bejeweled magical seal, all you're going to have is a beautiful piece of art if you don't know how to use it, – so stop, stop, stop, stop, stop getting fussy and assuming something doesn't work when often the case is you don't know how to work it and won't take the time to study and practice and know how.

    Myth: Doing magic draws bad-luck and ill-fortune to you.

    Considering one of the better known magical rituals in the western world is performed by Catholic priests and is meant to purify and bless the congregation (the Holy Mass,) I beg to differ. I can understand where this comes from…basically, one source is people who think that any magic takes away from reverence to God or trust in God, when I have seen no proof of this. If anything, it seems to strengthen faith. The other source would be people who performed rituals very wrong (either because they worked from a source which was itself quite wrong, or because they improvised when they have little to no practical knowledge of magic.) So, yeah, if you decide to call a spirit since that is the current "it's so cool" type of ritual (it comes from all of the possession and demon movies we have out in the past decade or more,) and you don't know what the fuck you're doing, you might regret that decision. A lot of the time, the spirit won't even show up. Why? Who the fuck are you, and why should they? If you have little to no ability, you are of no interest to most of the ones that are found in lists of spirits. You could be pretty interesting to something of a much lower order that feeds on your fears and is pretty awful (but if you like exorcism movies, you're in for a treat as you get something like that in your home!) Or you could be unintentionally rude (or just intentionally rude) to a very very powerful spirit and it decides that it will fuck your life up – and you can't exorcise those ones to my knowledge, you just have to appease them. 

    If the above sounds really shitty, then maybe don't call spirits on a whim, and maybe work up to doing that sort of thing, so if something does go wrong, you can actually banish the spirit, oh and make sure you banish it. Even if you say it didn't show up, sometimes it did, and so you know, be sure to  tell it to leave but nicely. 🙂

    If you do something wrong with SPIRITS, then hell yeah, you can have some bad luck and ill fortune. If you do a spell on a surface you haven't cleaned, you can combine energies unintentionally and that can suck. If you do not ritually bathe, you will begin to take on some of the energies of the spells you cast – it's sort of like when I worked in a sandwich shop and came home smelling like lunch meat, despite never eating there. 

    But magic itself does not cause bad luck and ill fortune just for using it. It is the inept- and/or the lazy practitioner who draws those to themselves.

    Myth: If I use reconciliation magic on a person, the love affair will be awful and it will be as if it is cursed.

    Reality: Much like the above, this is either propaganda from people who dislike reconciliatory workings, OR this has happened because the petitioner did not work with the spell (or they are just incompatible.) I've seen countless reconciliation spells manifest and keep the happy couple together, often for many years (in more than one case they are still together to my knowledge after all these years.)

    If you find reconciliation magic distasteful, you don't have to use it. That does not make it evil. 

    Hopefully, this has cleared some stuff up. Til next time, lovies,

    ~Cat