Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • No You Are Not Imagining It – And No, Mercury Isn’t Retrograde

    Hey Occulties,

    One of the benefits of my job is that it gives me a very clear view of "weird things" happening in the lives of others. When Mercury goes retrograde and people don't know what that is or that it's happening, I still can watch it effecting people across the board. So when all sorts of financial/bank/electronic stuffs starting going weird about 1.5 weeks ago, I at first thought it was a Mercury retrograde. I was having weird banking errors, ATM errors, and even a large amount was taking forever to clear. I checked, and no, Mercury was not retrograde. But then, in speaking with many clients, readers and friends during the past week, I've realized all sorts of bizarre stuff was going on with them, too, and it was all involving finance or jobs.

    Let me be frank, obviously there is always going to be that one client who can't pay me right now because (excuse.) I would not find that odd. When it's my friends and people that in no way owe me money, then yes, that's weird that they are also complaining of similar problems. 

    So, no, you aren't imagining it. Something is making money stuff kinda crazy right now. This is really unpleasant if you live like a lot of people do – from paycheck to paycheck. So what might be a trivial annoyance to someone with some savings might mean you wonder how you're going to get groceries this week because there's some weird error and your check didn't get deposited by direct deposit. And if this "financial weirdness" is widespread as it seems to be, good luck borrowing some money, because believe me, I have some friends who have a lot of savings and are well paid who are complaining their bank card just stopped working…and I wasn't asking for money, so there is no reason for them to say that. 

    If I were to venture a guess (because I am not this astrology goddess, and not pulling out charts and such on a whim,) we may be suffering the effects of Jupiter being retrograde. If such is the case then this might keep up a bit longer. I think it went retrograde on April 10 and goes direct on August 11. BUT, the mere length of that having already been retrograde makes me wonder if there is just something else stinky afoot in the world of astrology. Between you and me, I can notice a distinct change in MAY but not in April. 

    The positive side seems that personal relationships are doing well. I actually did kind of a "wellness check" in this regard with people I know who have relatively volatile relationships (ones that frequently are falling apart whenever there is a bit of stress and strain, or people in situations where they have to work with or live with someone they aren't very fond of.) Everyone reported being absolutely happy or close to it. That's actually very impressive. Rare is it that I say things like this, but I wish people would bring me some really hard cases right now, because I want to see if this is a positive influence on fixing relationships – because people who often are at odds with each other just naturally are getting along so dang well.

    In fact, this is the least amount of relationship dysfunction I think I've ever seen, and that's saying something. Remember the time I told you that nothing you told me would even amaze me because I've heard it all? Well, right now if you have relationship issues, I will be amazed. 

    Either way, I just figured I'd let everyone know – it's not Mercury retrograde, even if it kind of feels like it. 

    More exciting article on the way (and it won't be about Game of Thrones and it will be about spells and spellcasting, I promise, lol.)

    ~Cat

  • That Was TERRIBLE!

    The finale to Game of Thrones was awful. That made Sons of Anarchy and Dexter look like they had fantastic series finales. I've been mad about for almost 12 hours. UGH! Horrid!!

  • I’m on Team Stark

    So, everyone, who are you rooting for on tonight's series finale?!  I am a huge Jon Snow fan…. I've hated Dany since early on (I hate her character in the books, too, lol,) although I also love Arya… But I want a STARK on the Iron throne! 064c1aef2e78ce6556ac8d2843670ed1

    Who are you rooting for? And you know where I'll be at 9pm tonight – glued to my TV screen watching the finale! :) 

    ~C

     

  • *Happy Dance*

    Hey Occulties,

    I have some exciting news. 

    So for a long, long, long time, I have wanted to create a very, very, very large book. I wanted to write a book of such giganticism that the publishers of the Oxford Dictionary were mildly peeved at my creation being so huge. Of course, I don't think I have 4000 pages worth of work, so maybe to say that is exaggerating…a bit. I had initially intended to have this book trail Pactum by maybe 2 years (because publishing takes longer, even when the manuscript has gone to the proofreader and they are typesetting and all that jazz, so legitimately, if I had handed my publisher a completed manuscript the day my publisher released Pactum, it could take anywhere from a handful of months to like almost 2 years.) Unfortunately, a swirling shitstorm was upon the horizon, and while my intentions were good, I just didn't have the time to compose everything into a form in which I was like "OK, I can give this to my publisher." Thinking I was putting this off for mere months, I soon realized that no, I still didn't have time. There was even that stint last spring where I looked like Sloth from the Goonies thanks to cellulitis, and yet I didn't have time off (I legitimately worked while on a possible death bed, and I'm actually proud of that.) Intro-1529941807

    This means I put off making this book for…oh, 2-3 years…somewhere in that range. 

    It wasn't because I didn't want to make the book. I was (and to some degree still am) supporting my household. Like anyone who supports their household and needs to do things like pay bills and stuff, taking time off from a job when you are budgeting very closely already to make a gigantic book that will give payment to oneself LATER (and occult authors are not rich, kids,) is like telling a starving street person if they take that $20 you just gave them and invest it, some time next year it will be $200, so don't waste that money on food, just starve some more…cuz it will pay off in a year. 

    In laymen's terms, we couldn't afford for me to take time off. I've been over this, but my job has a huge overhead, and a lot of the hours I work are not paid. Just to make things a little more exciting, I got to spend 2 days in the hospital uninsured last year, which obviously did not help with that whole "running on a tight budget" issue. Then Mr NinjaCat couldn't work and I was the sole earner. The idea of taking time off to write a book was not in any way an idea I was even considering at that point.

    Finally, things began to stabilize, and also Rufus Opus (author of The Seven Spheres,) reminded me that books are a thing I can write, which also can provide a nice little bonus income and stuff. I considered this and presented my idea to my publisher who, despite having heard this idea before (because I suggested it to the publisher after Pactum,) reaffirmed that this was of great interest to my publishing house. 

    Now, this will seem premature to some of you, because again, the publishing process can get weird. That may be my own bad understanding of it since my former co-author really dealt with that aspect of the process before and so I admit some ignorance there, but its' quite possible that even if I turned in a full manuscript today (it isn't ready today,) we could easily not see it's release until 2020. 😉 Yes, of course I am super excited about writing a gigantic spell book, and even more so when I got a brilliant idea of putting it in more than one volume, and I'm even more excited to do that with the publishing house I use, because they do such fine, gorgeous bindings. I'm beyond thrilled that what has been a dream I have had FOR YEARS is finally rolling into fruition. I had to share this with you.

    AND there is a strong chance that when the book is published I can finally, at last, get what I have also wanted for years. A VACATION!!! I can't remember the last time I had a legitimate full vacation where I wasn't working while vacationing. I mean, I even did a smidge of work while in the hospital last year, lol. Imagine. A full week with no work. Maybe even 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I will be so bored I'd want to die, but like…a whole week where the only problems I deal with are like do I want another strawberry daquarri. Wow.

    So get excited kiddos. Tentative date is in 2020 for publication, but there is a new book en route to you. And it's going to be big. And beautiful. And amazing. And you'll love it.

    Best,

    ~Cat

    Image is from the Goonies. I in no way claim ownership. If you are the owner of the image, and you are mad it's here, by all means contact me and let me know to take it down. 

  • Horrible, Awful, and Completely Blown Apart: Study of Two “Impossible” Reconciliation Cases

    Hello Occulties,

    As many of you have guessed, a lot of the requests I get are for love problems. It's probably why I even wrote a book of love spells and love magic…because I deal with it so damn much. 😛 If this is review for you, please feel free to give it a skip over, but for those of you looking for some guidance, let's chat, because I've got a few spell articles being posted up this weekend (they take the longest to write, and one of them is going to be in the love/recon category.)

    So, let's start with question I get frequently – Is it possible something is too-far-gone to fix?

    In theory, no, but in reality…. I have seen something come to a point where I would not want to accept the person's request because the situation is such that the probability of success is low regardless of how well the client follows my instructions, and other times the problem is that the client cannot or will not commit to following instruction OR they feel it is an "easy fix" and do not agree that the AMOUNT of work that needs to be done is feasible. Sometimes it even is a case where they are opposed to the type of work needed to fix the problem. 

    Let's try 2 fictional "cases" (and NO this is not anyone I have ever worked for. If you see a similarity to yourself here, please keep in mind that neither of the below is entirely unique, and it's not based on any particular person. It is, in fact, a conglomeration of people with similar cases that I've seen over the years.)

    So, let's say Client A comes to me, and he is looking to reconcile his ex wife. Though the divorce just became final, they are on good terms, but the romantic/sexual aspect of the marriage ended 3 years previous, and they have been separated for at least 2 years. He feels that he is a changed man and that the problems that caused the split are no longer a problem. (This is a very common thing to tell me when the relationship, for all intents and purposes, ended years previously.) He feels that, because they are friendly towards each other, that his desire to reignite the romantic relationship should not be difficult for spellwork to fix.

    Client B comes to me seeking to reconcile her ex boyfriend. She has been broken up with him for approximately 4 weeks, but the relationship had been proverbially "circling the drain" for about 2 months prior to the break up. After they broke up, she became very unstable, and did things like showed up at his home crying and demanding he listen to her, as he had blocked her on social media and on his phone. While he initially tolerated the behavior, the last time she showed up at his home he told her if she did this again, he'd call the police. That was a week ago. She is beside herself and wonders if anything will ever be fixed here. 

    Both of these situations are bad. Very bad. 

    Client A is blind to the fact that his past history with his wife has basically solidified her decision not to return. He has a very glib idea of how close she is to wanting more than to be pleasant with him. While one could definitely do work to draw up feelings of love and lust in his ex wife, she has clearly moved on and is not indecisive in the least about her decision to remain outside of a romantic relationship with him. There probably is less of a need for reconciliation – it does not seem like either party harbors anger, although it wouldn't hurt to apply it, – so if the suggested route of "love drawing and passion (lust) drawing" is applied what is the likely outcome? Why is that not going to cut it? Well, in my experience, in cases like these, the work is apt to manifest as some flirtatious talk and a warmer friendship, but not anything near to what he is seeking. If he just wants "One Spell," he is sadly mistaken to believe that is all that is required. In fact, the likely pathway to success (or what he considers success, so a return to a romantic relationship) requires a rather nasty bit of trickery indeed, and requires a bit more work than what he wants (it would be a few different types of work) and some dark work as well. If he refuses that route, she will continue to be friendly, to seek him out for little text chats and be super bubbly, but she is not LIKELY to seek or accept a romantic entanglement with him. Now, let's say he wanted to do the work himself so he tries every love and lust drawing there is. While she becomes much much more friendly, any time he suggests something romantic, she backs off and is clearly giving him a signal to show that she is not interested in that. 

    A bunch of you are like "Why? He's nice to her, the problems are clearly over, and they were on good terms? Why is she not acting romantically?"

    Well, OK, so what's happened here is when she ended the marriage, she had a long time to accept why she did, and come to terms with the fact that this was the best decision for her. She's quite comfortable with her decision. It was not based on impulse. It was based on years of observation and consideration. And what's worse? They have a totally functional comfortable situation as friends so she has no reason to change that. Their romantic pairing was disastrous. Maybe it was from his own bad behavior, but she had years of enduring that bad behavior. So, this platonic pairing is comfortable and harmonious. Even if she desires sex from him, that would disrupt this much better pattern, so she does flirt a bit, but she is strongly holding to NOT GIVING IN TO HER SEXUAL URGES. If she misses him romantically, she reminds herself that when he was romantic towards her, the relationship itself was much worse than it was now that it is platonic. 

    Like I said, the "solution" is to make the target (the wife) UNCOMFORTABLE with her current situation, and to have her view a romantic pairing with him as COMFORTABLE, and BETTER THAN her current state. That requires some very unkind work, most likely. First of all, he'd have to become aloof and disinterested. This has to be somewhat established…just have him back off for a few weeks as the first part takes hold. Assuming he can show that behavior (many people can't,) the next part is to make her life apart from him not comfortable. To make people cold and uncaring towards her. To make her job insecure or to make it disappear. To give her a bit of a curse, really. Yep, I know, ugly stuff. Now once he's extracted himself and his support is gone, and her world is falling apart (and make sure to give a really good knock), then start sending the love work, also make her obsess that he can make her feel better, that he is safe. That he is a great partner. Make sure you've squashed all possibility of another man swooping in to "save the day" by keeping all rivals at bay. Intensify the work. Work the love spells at least once a week. Make sure she reaches out. Be the support, but don't flirt until she does. Help her put her life together the closer she comes and have her being romantic and flirty, and give more and more as she gives in more and more to her urges. 

    And after all that? Well, it might get them back together. It would require intense attention and work, but that is the route which is the highest chance for success there. He thinks it's one spellcasting. In reality, it's a focused treatment of far more than one spell, and working on the situation to move the target into a mindset where he can have her, and then working the love work only when she is in a distressed state. 

    I assure you, most people like Client A will say "Nope, I will not cause this person harm." They will reject it. And it's a very hard thing to manifest what they want IF you used the route I suggest, but nearly impossible if you do not. 

    Moving on to Client B – we can see there is a lot of damage here. This is very bad, and no one will disagree. Furthermore Client B may be unstable. She will likely have horrible lust for results, and is likely to have severe, spell-killing behavior problems. She also has stated to herself or to me that she doesn't believe that things can be fixed. That's a huge red flag. If someone says "Well, it's fucked anyway and it can't be fixed," then basically they will be self-defeating throughout the process. 

    But let's give it the old college try…. So for starters, she needs to STOP CONTACTING THE TARGET AT ALL. She also needs to IMMEDIATELY CEASE DISCUSSING THE TARGET WITH ANYONE. She needs to probably stop using social media as she may use this as a form of stalking. Assuming there is compliance here, don't think one spell will fix this all. Oh. Hell. No. 

    First both parties need a lot of HEALING work. The boyfriend may be at a point where he is too afraid to ever engage with her again, but I've seen some surprising reunions despite crazy behaviors. If they are young, the likelihood of reconciliation is much greater than if they are middle aged or older. Client B needs to be calm and accept the situation. There needs to be ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT from her UNTIL HE MAKES CONTACT, at least until she is calm, collected, and has returned to a reasonable state of mind…which even then, it might not be when she decides she is "Totally okay now," so don't think you can calm down for a day and then give a person a text because you felt like it. I would STRONGLY recommend professional intervention in a case like this, but if she's doing the work herself, do healing on herself and on him at least once a week for an entire month, and no contact. Also, she needs to work on improving herself. If she wants to lose weight, now is the time to hit the gym. If she just wants to feel better, hey get some new shoes, or get your hair done – something where she feels she is a better her. In a professional setting, the healing would probably be as long, but as a third party is doing the work, it would be up to the practitioner to get a sense of where both targets are in the healing process. Is everyone feeling a lot better by week 2 or 3? If yes, move on to the next step. 

    Being very very careful not to have the petitioner impacted by it, use obsession work to make the boyfriend begin to feel he was wrong, that he should not have been so cold or pushed her away, that his behavior caused her to act in the way that she did. This should be worked for about a week by itself, and then introduce love/passion drawing work as well, again, trying only to induce this in the TARGET NOT THE PETITIONER. If doing this work for herself (which can be difficult because it could draw the obsession up in her and cause anxiety, but I've seen people do it,) work obsession one week, then with love/passion drawing additionally for another 2-3 weeks. Now wait. 

    You read that right.

    Presumably the target will want to apologize or say something. This is not a perfect science, and she may need to make contact. If the target makes contact before she has to do so herself, here's where another difficult hurdle lies… 

    See, properly, she should act friendly but somewhat aloof when he contacts her. If she is really hardcore, she's even going to wait until he's apologizing correctly… So "Sarah, I'm sorry if I was cold but you were really overboard with how you acted and so I don't want you to respond," means DO NOT RESPOND TO THAT. I swear, 85% of people will respond because he said something, but really you should not. NORMALLY he will text a second time within a few days (assuming he's said something like the above,) as the work intensifies and something like "Sarah, I'm sorry if how I acted made you so upset. When I saw how you were, I just retreated emotionally and it made things worse, please forgive me." So at this point Client B should respond, something like "Well, Brett, I'm sorry I became so emotional. I hope I didn't scare you too much and that you are doing well." From here it should slowly progress, with him texting or communicating with increasing interest and perhaps flirtation and her (hopefully) reciprocating in kind with equal levels of interest and flirtation. At no time should she act desperate or throw herself at him. Neither should she bring up the previous relationship unless he does, or grovel or apologize. From there spellwork should be done to additionally stabilize the relationship.

    That's a lot of work, and that's if everything goes to plan, which, if you've ever dealt with Client B or ARE Client B, you know that's unlikely because Client B has some issues. Maybe they are transitive issues, maybe they are chemical issues that need medication, maybe a lot of things. But Client B? Client B does stuff like this… "Cat, I know you said don't text him but I texted him 'are u still mad?' last night, and when he didn't reply I said 'I love you.' I think he maybe blocked me." Yeah, we're doing obsession work, so you might have just pushed us back by weeks. 

    And the above also assumes "Brett" the ex is going to man up and text. One of the most difficult things is to get the target to break the ice. They've been trained all their life not to come back. Their friends and family are reinforcing that they should not do so if they are asking for advice. This is why working with a professional can be helpful. A professional is not in love with Brett/target. A professional does not get freaked out or upset by the silence between the petitioner and target. A professional can exercise the patience that many petitioners lack. 

    So, let's assume all is going according to plan, and finally enough time has passed where we might assume the target wants to make contact but is afraid to. This isn't going to be 2 weeks after you begin. This is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 45-60 days (sometimes a bit more) since the petitioner started the workings. Assuming enough time has passed (I'm giving the stink eye to several of you right now, you know who you are,) the petitioner might send a text, and this has to be DEVOID of sorry, I love you, or anything else. Something like "Brett, I still have several of your clothes over here. If you want to pick them up or have me drop them off, please let me know. I can even leave them with a friend if you are uncomfortable seeing me. Thanks." If no opportunity like that exists, I have suggested a large "mass greeting" (like MERRY CHRISTMAS!) on a group text, or sending a funny picture. Usually this will give the target the idea that they can communicate. Hopefully, the target then starts talking, and the petitioner should keep a keen eye on how the conversation goes. No bringing up the past unless the target does, no guilt tripping, and if possible, end the conversation first. Let them keep coming to you, and as they flirt, respond in kind but never in a greater amount than the target, eventually it should culminate in a reconciliation of the relationship. At this point, do work to stabilize the relationship. 

    Again, this is very difficult for Client B to navigate. The biggest problem is Client B. The second biggest problem? The amount of damage after the break up. If you act "too crazy," the target may be willing to maintain a friendship, even be a bit flirtatious but will avoid ever engaging in a romantic partnership again. In those cases, you may actually morph the situation into "Client A's" situation. BUT, if you follow the directions above, then it may not be "beyond repair" it's just going to be "one hell of a fix." 

    People sometimes ask me, "Cat why do you offer 5 weeks or even 15 weeks of spellwork?" Well, the above should offer some idea. Because people bring me problems which are the equivalent of fixing a trainwreck of damage, and realistically just casting one spell once will not bring the desired result. It's also why I say "NO" to some cases…I just won't be able to fix it, and I've revived relationships which were harder to revive than a three day dead corpse. 😛 Many people don't want to commit to something that is equal to a few months in some cases of work, but realistically, it can't be fixed overnight. If the problem is severe enough, then the treatment to fix the problem requires far more work than say… Reconciling a couple who broke up without a huge fight because they were having a few communication problems. 

    I hope that was enlightening! And if you need my assistance with your reconciliation troubles (either you want me to help you form a plan that you can undertake yourself or you want me to fix your failed relationship,) feel free to contact me!

    ~Cat

    UPDATED TO ADD: A keen-eyed reader saw that "Client B" had been blocked by her target on social media and on his phone. How, then, can she expect to communicate with him if enough time has passed and he hasn't reached out? Well, in many cases, the target will unblock social media and/or their phone when the spellwork has made them want contact. I've seen it numerous times. In a "worst case scenario," you can use an email (usually) to make contact with a "reluctant" target if you haven't been unblocked, but interestingly enough, I also see the petitioner "getting unblocked" by the target as a sign that the spellwork is working. Hopefully that clarifies things. Thank you for catching that, super-awesome reader! 🙂

    All content (except gifs which come from Giphy usually,) on this website is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com and can not be used or distributed without my permission. I offer a reward for reporting people plagiarizing my work, so please contact me if you find someone so doing. 🙂 Plagiarists will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. 

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  • Mean F*cking Letter: A “Death Clock” tale

    Hey Occulties,

    Just wanted to share a somewhat amusing "death clock" story…. Because I did this to myself. So, I was behind on my rent. This isn't like "so behind you're evicted" behind, but let's just say I should have paid it by the 5th or so, but on the 5th I only had maybe 2/3 or so of it. This is all fine and well because I have til tomorrow to pay that until I get a mean letter from the landlord about paying it. I am also expecting a large transfer for double the rent amount, albeit late today. So I was "just going to make it" and avoid getting a mean letter. In fact, theoretically, I would even be able to make this payment at like 8am tomorrow, triumphantly missing the "mean letter" – although the letter's power is more than it is mean and less that it had horrible consequences. 

    Of course, as soon as I was starting the process of how this money would come in (so like around the 4th or 5th of the month,) it became abundantly clear I was going to be VERY CLOSE to my "mean letter deadline" on the 16th with this transfer. Instead of being my normal happy self, and assuming my whole life would work out and probably bring me the rent before the transfer came (which, sensibly, it would), I instead became fixated on this amount. Because, deep down, I fear the mean letter. It is just a mean shitty letter, but it makes me sad and angry and I don't like it. It's an irrational thing to be afraid of, but fear is often not really rational. 

    As I've told you many times before, you draw what you fear. To make matters worse, this also tends to make all your opportunities dry up and even draws other bad outcomes hither. So, on Thursday, despite my actually having 3/4 of my rent money, I was still secretly fearful that, despite the fact that I would normally have covered it that evening or the day after, there was a mean letter coming. I had to pay half a bill to someone, so I went to the ATM, withdrew that amount, and this still meant I had between 2/3-3/4 of my rent (my rent is HUGELY EXPENSIVE.) I woke up the next day, and my email detailed SEVERAL ATM WITHDRAWALS. To make matters even worse, these are all one after the other, in an oddly specific amount (the same amount which isn't a basic one people generally take out), and were clearly errors. I call my bank in a panic. No worries, they say, it will be fixed within the hour, you're OK, just a glitch. Except they didn't fix it. Friday was abnormally quiet but thinking I had the amount I should have in there, this was fine. It wasn't until Saturday that I realized that I DID NOT have that money in there. I called the bank. They assured me it would be back by Sunday night. It didn't return. This literally cleared me down to $9. I assure you, I was getting increasingly upset. 

    Over my head loomed "that fucking mean letter" that for no real reason, really bothers and upsets me. (Again, it's just a rude threatening letter that says "pay the fuck up," in nicer terms.)

    So I call the bank. They make SO MANY FRIGGING EXCUSES IT IS STUPID. They try to tell me that x amount actually won't be returning because I spent it. I spend an hour arguing with an analyst, and he keeps naysaying me, and trying to say things like an electric bill I paid IN MARCH came out (it came out in March, not on Saturday, ugh.) I realize that I will have to print this all out, highlight everything and it will take like 2 weeks to settle it. Infuriating! Now I am getting more anxious. I borrow a little from my dad to get groceries. Immediately a membership to some club (like one of those monthly boxes,) takes the FULL BALANCE of my account. This is bad enough but worse when you consider that I cancelled that for being too expensive back in like January. I shit you not. So I write the company who bizarrely has no phone number (awesome!) and claims they will get back to you in like 24 hours or less (lies!). No response. Zero. I have several invoices out and people want stuff, but everyone is delaying payment. I check the large transfer and it's still not through (technically it can be midnight on the 15/16th, yay.) And I BS you not, if even $5 goes in, something will grab it out. 

    By last night, I was so fucking irritated about not having groceries (I could cobble some weird stuff together, but yeah, I wasn't exactly eating like a king, ha,) and all these bizarre financial foils and the fact that I could just bet I'd get that MEAN FUCKING LETTER! And people keep delaying this or that. Can they wait until after mean-letter deadline? Well, shit. I was so mad, I hardly slept. 

    I get up, see a payment, get some coffee, and I'm like "FUCK IT, I WILL PAY THE RENT AND AVOID THE LETTER – I WILL WORK!! ALL WILL BE WELL!" But deep down, some part was like "Oh, haha, fuck you, Cat, you will totes get a mean letter, teehee!" But adversity is usually my friend and makes me want to kick all adversity in the balls and overcome, so even though my inner mean voice was gloating that I'd get that letter, I had work to do, and I was going to woman up and kick today in the ass.

    Yeah, today while on the phone with a client, guess who got the mean letter. I shit you not. It's technically 2 days early. It isn't to be sent until the 16th has passed, and I've never received one before the 17th. Amusingly enough, the client I was speaking to? We were discussing death clocks. I give her the lowdown on what is happening. I go "Watch this, I'm going to get people who want to pay me. I drew to myself what was scaring me, and now that it's happened, I will be paid." 

    Literally within 10-15 minutes I'd say, I get an email about a payment. I'm still on the phone with the client. 

    Then after I got off the phone 2 people wanted to discuss buying something. This is after days of hanging in the lurch here. I legitimately had $2 to my name for the better part of 3 days. This morning was slightly better, but…yeah… and I knew it. I knew my anxiety was delaying payments, and causing financial struggles, but…well, the transfer is marked on or by May 16. It would cover it. It should have been reassuring…however my fear of a mean letter caused everything to dry up, AND drew the damn letter to me early. 

    Oh, and that letter? I tore it up and threw it in the trash where it belongs. "Fucking pay up!" is not really scary. I don't know why it scares me on some level…probably that my moon in cancer is irked by the perceived adversity headed towards me. It certainly isn't near to the biggest or worst threat I've ever faced. 

    I presume that today is going a banner day for sales. Already looking up to be just that.

    And this, my loves, is me showing you how fearing an outcome not only drew the outcome to me, but also created a small but horribly irritating financial shitstorm over myself…

    See, even I get problems like this sometimes. Hope that gave some of you a smile,

    ~Cat
    (hater of mean fucking letters)

  • Q&A: Spirits for Failing Relationships

    Hey Occulties,

    Recently I spoke to a reader regarding a romantic matter wherein the two parties of a romantic relationship were not parted but were having serious relationship problems. Since it has been a bit "trendy" (not surprising, given the amount of demon movies in the last several years) to use spirits, I was basically asked about if that is an effective solution in this case. I will try to answer this in Q&A form, but it will be clumsy at best. 😉

    Q: In a situation where a couple is having severe relationship problems, would it be better to call a spirit (conjuration) or to use something like traditional Hoodoo if seeking to make the relationship more functional/happy? 

    A: I would be speaking in error to say that spirits could not be called in a case of a relationship falling apart. If we use traditional spirits of the Lesser Key of Solomon, Furfur is actually a spirit who mends problems between "husband and wife" (however, we could also apply this to any serious long term relationship, heterosexual or homosexual, – so he reconciles your life partner.) So, yes, you could call a spirit (not just Furfur,) to reconcile two parties who are fussing with each other or finding their romantic partnership dissolving. 

    However as a caveat, I will say what I said to the reader who asked – keep in mind that spirit work tends to manifest in such a way as to make the target/situation change rapidly and that can sometimes create a problem in itself. 

    I call this the Volvo/Ferrari theory, so by this I mean, the difference between a "thought out and considered decision," vs a decision one makes on impulse. The one with more strength, and the one people are more apt to stick with is the decision they came to after serious thought. So, while the Volvo might not be a sexy car, in this example it gets great mileage, it has fabulous safety features, and it will last a long time – the Ferrari is just fucking cool. Which one will you be able to dissaude me from buying easier? The Ferrari. Which one will I be more apt to regret later? That Ferrari. 

    This also applies to relationships. So, let's say the target of a spell all of the sudden, for no discernible reason, is so in love with me, he feels like he could just explode. He's showing up at my house. He's calling and texting me every 45 seconds. All the time he's thinking "CAT IS AMAZING!!!!" and as much as I'd like to think everyone thinks that all the time, the reality is, this probably came upon him all of the sudden.  Unsurprisingly, after awhile this target will want to figure what is it when he first realized he was in love with me and fell so hard…what did that to him? 

    Now, in my experience, this is often attributed to an event by the target. This can be good, or it can be…temporary. Remember, you're an "impulse buy," because this SUPER STRONG IMPULSE FROM NOWHERE said you were the best and the target is so in love. And the spirit isn't in any way causing you disrespect. Presumably any spirit you use for love is bringing to you the best outcome using your stipulations for what that outcome should be. Without wanting to be critical, I've seen a few situations tank – an example might be "Martha loves Phil all of the sudden because he's so positive and always smiling!" and then the "Phil" (petitioner here,) in this example loses his job and has his dog run away and mopes for weeks and doesn't smile. As soon as Phil becomes grim, Martha's interest is gone. 

    Look, spirit work is awesome. It can work SO FAST. But that can also be it's downfall. The spirit brought you want you wanted, and if it was because of a behavior or event, at some point, it's up to you to keep up whatever it was that attracted this person in the first place. And if we're being fair, if someone starts loving your other traits, that's going to be largely a permanent solution. 

    Now, on the other hand, if you use something gentle and slower working to fix a failing relationship, that has it's positives and negatives as well. On the "plus side," the spell will make the target trust their instincts more. They didn't just suddenly become crazy in love all over again for no discernible reason. Instead, they began to see their own faults, and what they did to push you away. They realize how much they care, how tender their feelings are for you, and remember the good times and the things which brought you together in the first place. They see your beauty more clearly. They act more kindly. It isn't overnight, but more like a wound which is being healed until your relationship is whole again.

    It's also A LOT easier to use most Hoodoo than it is to call a spirit. The average joe who has never cast a spell can be successful with Hoodoo, but is a lot less likely to get much response from many spirits. To them, speaking to you is a bit like me getting an audience with a world leader just on a whim. It might happen, but most of the time there are so many layers between who you can speak with to that person that you are never going to speak directly to that person. Spirits don't view many unpracticed magicians as being worthy of their time or attention, and sometimes when they do give you their attention, you have absolutely no idea how to behave and what to do…and the outcome becomes bad very quickly. With Hoodoo, you aren't really apt to piss anyone off with a great deal of reconciliation spells made for "existing couples in damaged relationships." 

    And also on the downside…so many people wait until something is more or less irretrievably broken to even start working. This might mean that your partner is feeling so dark and angry with you that you will have to tolerate difficult and unhelpful behaviors from them which may in turn cause you (or the petitioner) to engage in your own harmful behaviors, which can delay the desired outcome. It can be very difficult for a petitioner to exercise self control and engage with a reconciliation target in a meaningful and helpful way at times. 

    With all that said (and hopefully I made sense,) one is not necessarily better than the other. It's a matter of what you are working with and how good at the work the person who is doing said work is which determines that answer. 

    Don't get me wrong, kids, I LOVE working with spirits. It's great! But it's also not an easy thing to master, and, even for many of us who are relatively practiced, traditional spells where one doesn't need to call a spirit out of the ether is usually more than enough to help you through and to fix what you feel needs fixing. 

    Hope that was enlightening,

    ~Cat

  • The Most-Likely Reasons Why Spellwork Is Not Working (new for some/review for some)

    Hey there Occulties,

    Sorry for the obnoxious level of times we discuss things like these. If people asked me different questions, it would come up less. ;) 

    So, what reasons are the most common of reason that a spell seems to not be working? Let's review:

    *You haven't given it enough time to work.
    For example, if I ask you to write me a 45 page paper, annotated, with a very-strong bibliography, and you agree, and then I ask "Why isn't that paper done?" the moment that you agree, this is similar to the person who is complaining that a spell isn't working within a day or so. Or, perhaps if you planted a seed, and then 2 hours later, upon not even seeing a sprout, you complained "This isn't working! It's a dead seed!" This is similar to you complaining a spell isn't working a few days (or even immediately after) after you cast the spell. 

    In today's world of instant gratification, all too often, people assume that they will be instantly awarded with whatever thing the spell was supposed to impart, and that is rarely (very incredibly extremely rarely,) how spells work. I would tell you the amount of times I've seen it happen in 30 years of spellcasting (which includes 15 of those years working for others, so I cast A LOT OF SPELLS,) but you would be very discouraged (hint, it might be under 10 times.) So, if you're pissed nothing is working a few days later, the problem may be your impatience.

    As a weird side note, when people ask me "how long will this take to manifest?" it virtually always takes approximately 2 weeks longer than I would have originally have estimated before they asked that question. Don't ask me why, it is just a weird thing I've noticed over the years. Actually, I have a theory, and that is that people more prone to behaviors that fall under lust for results (described below) are more prone to asking that question, AND they also set a "death clock" or "fail date," (both of which I will describe below.)

    A lot of the time frame will depend on how big of a change needs to be made, if it involves a person currently biased against the desired result (like romantic issues), and also can be based on certain dates (example, you want a job but they only hire on the first and fourth tax quarters.) Relying on the faulty 3/3/3 system proposed by another occultist some years ago (three months, three weeks, three days,) would be like me altering that to 4/1/2 (4 days, 1 year, 2 weeks,) and having a boatload of people actually think I didn't make that up. Sure it sounds slick, but it's not true. I have heard the slightly more relevant "mooncycle" (a period of 28-30 days or so is normal in certain cases,) but I'd just say, in most cases you will have visible movement (not necessarily full manifestation) within 2-8 weeks. If you're saying "Wow, that's a ridiculous difference," well, you're basically asking me something like "Cat, how long does any injury of any kind take to heal," and expecting that things like a papercut will heal in the same time frame as a broken leg with multiple fractures. The reality is there is no blanket answer to how long will this take, and the unfortunate (but entirely accurate) answer is "As long as it needs to." People don't like that answer. So, I guess start getting itchy and plaintive by the 8th week if TOTALLY NOTHING IS HAPPENING…but of course, then you run the risk of the next point….

    *You set a date to fail by. 
    As much fun as it is to say "death clock," and "fail date," (they are the same thing) it isn't something fun. What is this? It's a weird phenomena that occurs when someone says (to themselves, generally, and usually repetitively) "If x thing has not happened by (specific date,) the spell has failed." What ends up happening here, is, thanks to that nifty law of attraction, they actually put out "X spell will fail/not manifest by (specific date.)" It's a bizarre thing, but I've seen it a lot. 

    Let me give you an example… While I haven't heard from him in years, and he was a nice fellow, so that's a shame, an old client of mine was like Mr Textbook with this stuff (ha,) and so he had asked about a particular lady friend in a reading and when would he hear from her. They had been out of touch for awhile. "Well, by (whatever date but a specific one,)" I reply, and so this date comes and goes. He asks me for a reading the day after this date when I'd said she'd contact him, and I schedule him in for a day after. So that means, I'm speaking to him 2 days past the date I'd mentioned for when this lady friend would contact him. When I call him, he's like "Oh, Cat, oh my, I almost made a huge mistake!" So I ask him what's that, and he said "I scheduled this reading because (lady friend) hadn't called me 2 days ago when you said she would and she just called me an hour ago! Hahaha," and I was like "If you ever tell me off for something like that, I'll hang up on you well before you have finished speaking a single sentence in a rude tone, so that was a bad idea." Then I explained "fail dates" and "death clocks." See, he'd put so much into that "Cat's an asshat if (ladyfriend) doesn't call and I will have to be a jerk to her, if (ladyfriend) doesn't call by (specific date), because if she doesn't call then, she won't ever call," that he literally pushed that outcome off that date. He released all his emotions/expectations, and WHOOSH she called. 

    This isn't a specific single-time event. I see it A LOT right around birthdays and the Winter Holiday season. There's a reason I actually feel readings are self-defeating and over-used with certain people, and that reason is "death clocks." People get so wound up about a specific incident happening, that their anxiety couples with the law of attraction, and creates a delay. And the moment they are like "Well, that failed, this is all screwed up," the desired incident happens a handful of days later. 

    Now a sort of interesting inverse form of fail date was a situation where a client, for their own reasons, could not bear the idea of being the one to break up with their partner so they asked me to use magic. After a bit of saying that it was much easier to be direct with the person and break up with them, I accepted the case. On Christmas Eve, I get "Well, (target) just told me that (target) is done with us and wants to break up! My ex-spouse broke up with me on Christmas Eve, and (target) knows that! You have to stop it! Any day but TODAY, this is horrible! (Target) knows this day, this specific day, is like scarring to me! Please stop the break up!" And I said I could not. That even if I reconciled the situation that the spell had manifested and I could not unmanifest it, so I would be reconciling a person that they didn't want, and the reconciliation would happen after Christmas Eve, when it was no longer really relevant about it being a hurtful date to break up on. 

    That person so feared that the break up would occur on this date where their ex-spouse had left them, that it actually manifested on that date. Which is a bit weird. I want to say I did the work about six weeks before Christmas (it was years ago, but I remember them fussing more and wondering why the delay, and just assumed the target wanted to wait til after Christmas to break things off.) So the nature of that kind of work would not have led me to believe it would happen on or after Christmas but before. I did not know my client's ex left them on Christmas Eve. But the client knew. And the client had set it up that as long as it DID NOT happen on Christmas Eve, the client was fine with the situation. While telling me of this might have avoided that outcome, it actually drew the date to…Christmas eve.

    Remember what I say all the time…we should all fear becoming successful billionaires, because what you fear, you draw to you. 

    Ah, and when I said I had discussed this in a previous article to Q&A: Terms and Conditions, just so you know, that's because I started writing this article before that one, the other just got published first. :/

    *You lack something necessary in acquiring what you desire
    What? Shouldn't the spell make you have all the necessary things for getting what you want? Well, no. If you have no arms, you cannot punch yourself in the face. You can try all you want, but you can't do it. So, if you do not have the training to be a surgeon, if you, in fact, even lack a high school degree, you cannot be a surgeon. If you want someone who is gay, but you are not the same sex, you do not have the required genitalia to get that person to feel romantic love for you. 

    These are all kind of obvious things, of course, and while I do get requests where people want to have a job they can never get (or at least would need to train years to get,) or want to make someone at least bisexual because the person is not orientated to desire the person who wants them back, it is only a handful of people who have made these requests over the years. In fact, the above is a bit less subtle than having to tell someone who is tone-deaf with a lousy voice that they are not likely to become the next pop-star (though with auto-tuning, one never knows,) or someone who has a horrible sense of balance that they are probably never going to become a prima ballerina no matter how many spells they cast. 

    At some point, we must accept our own obvious limitations. I am a short woman. I will likely never play professional basketball, not least of all because I also have bad knees (it's inherited,) and suck at sports (my sports ability may not be inherited, ha,) but also because I am of an age where the best pro-ball players are retiring or have recently retired. 

    Don't get me wrong – people break through in industries where they should have had no chance, but, realistically if you need a degree for something, if you need a license as well…these are not going to be things that lighting a candle once will fix. If you've always lacked a sense of gracefulness, I don't believe that magic is apt to ever fix that. And as far as loving someone who can't love you because they are straight or gay, and you play for the "other team," – well, as fluid as some people have made their sexuality at this writing, there are still plenty of people who don't feel comfortable with that, and no amount of spellcasting will "turn someone gay" or "turn someone straight" or "suddenly make a person bi." I'm sorry. It just won't. 

    *Lust for results/Thinking the Spell to death:
    I have discussed this so much, I've actually come to realize that I might have to create a category, just so people can read all about it (and probably tell me that no, I am mistaken, or that I am so wrong and this is not an actual problem, etc, etc.) This right here is the NUMBER ONE REASON FOR SPELL FAILURE. It doesn't matter if you don't like that or you don't want to believe that it is the number one reason for spell failure. If I decide that I think, say, that you can't gain weight once you've stopped growing (taller,) that doesn't mean that it's true and that I will remain the same weight I was at 14-15 or so when I stopped growing taller (and that's a good thing…I could NOT gain weight in my teens to the point of looking emaciated, but still eating like a field hand.) If I decide that I don't believe earthquakes exist, they still happen. Deciding something doesn't exist or is some "convenient excuse," doesn't stop the reality of it being so when it becomes your problem. 

    It is, unfortunately, very difficult to see how deeply one is experiencing lust for results when you are the one experiencing it. I would guess that it is like many mental illnesses in that respect. You might have some idea there is a problem, but the depth of it escapes you whilst maladjusted. Believe me, kids, I too have gotten sick with this problem before, and looking back on my own self, I had some idea that I had some lust for results, but it is hindsight that revealed how greatly I underestimated my own problem. And that can be a problem….because it's going to affect your spellwork, and it can affect your life and personal relationships, too. 

    While you may wish to read this article, and this one, and heck if you're in a love relationship, this one, you might have lust for results if:
    You react to everything with lengthy crying sessions or finding yourself completely immobilized even by a relatively trivial event (grief and upset over a situation should NOT snowball or escalate over time – with lust for results, you often see a scale of heightening reaction as time passes,) for example, someone not reading your text causes you to be upset (even crying) for hours. 
    You find yourself thinking about the situation you're spellcasting on, as well as the people involved SEVERAL times a day. Often the spell, the situation, and the people involved take up at least 1/4 of what the person thinks of every single day. 
    You blame "blameless" parties for trying to antagonize you or cause you more distress (example: a "rival" for someone's attention who does not know who you are posting pictures where they are with your intended target on social media, your phone for not ringing when you put it on "do not disturb," as being some Apple/Android based conspiracy to make you miss a call, someone flirting with you in the same room as your desired target for reconciliation who is unaware that you want your ex or that your ex is present, et cetera…and those are all actual examples I have witnessed numerous times.)
    You concoct frequent "what if" scenarios in your mind to mentally prepare yourself for several situations, many of which are not likely to ever happen. (Example "What if I run into (target) when I'm walking out of the supermarket looking like crap?" when you have never run into this person in this store at any time in the past, or "What if when I go out on this date, my ex shows up," when you have never run into your ex at a particular restaurant, "What if my boss asks me to do something I was never trained to do when it is not part of the job description for the job I'm trying to be promoted to?" etc).
    You feel that you need to "control" the situation, and that spying on someone is "controlling" the situation or "being in control." (Many people with lust for results do a lot of stalking.)
    You deflect responsibility for your own mental state and/or problems onto everyone else, or call being wholly out of control of your own behavior/actions as "understandable" when multiple hours/days/weeks/months of unstable/irrational behavior clearly are not "normal."

    Those might be some of the most extreme examples, but if you're easily anxious and emotional, spellcasting can sure suck. The best way I know to handle it is to 1.) accept the situation (this may even require a period of grieving,) and acknowledge you can't GO BACK, only FORWARD, so attempting to keep something "just like it was," is going to impede PROGRESS. One example might be if my ex cheated on me, and that caused our break up. I can't reverse his cheating. I can't reverse our break up. I can progress to a reconciliation, to being healed from the pain the cheating caused, etc. 2.) Remember you must act a certain way to get what you want, not get what you want to act a certain way. Example, "I will calm down when he texts me," is wrong. It should be "I will calm down SO he texts me." Another example "I will stop acting so angry and vindictive towards people when they start acting nice to me," should be "I am going to be nice to people so that they are nice to me." See, the problem with saying you'll behave or act right when x thing happens is it often is blind to the fact that your own behavior is causing whatever you feel is worthy of your antagonism. This seems to be clearer in a non-emotional context: "I will stop buying things I can't afford when I have enough capital to be secure," should be "When I have enough capital to feel secure, I would be able to buy things I currently can't afford."  I can't tell you the numerous times I've dealt with someone who legitimately felt it was acceptable to act like a batshit crazy person because someone wouldn't be nice to them, despite them in no way being nice or encouraging kindness towards this party…and they EXPECTED the other person to play nice first. Nope. If you don't like how someone is acting, change the way you act towards them. 3.) As I said in another article, attitude is everything. How would you feel if this thing you want was part of your life. Not the moment you received it (you wouldn't walk around for the rest of your life super-elated,) but if it was part of your life already. If the answer is "I'd be an anxious emotional mess who cries at the drop of a hat, stalking this same person on social media," then congratulations, you're already there. If it's "I'd feel much more secure, less defensive, and I would feel a sense of contentedness," then you need to try to make that your attitude now. Your emotions are energy, – they can repulse or attract things you desire. 4.) Live in the present – not the past, not the future, the present. Anxiety and depression tend to arise when someone does not live in the present. So even if yesterday was shitty, and you don't know what tomorrow holds, you can handle what is happening RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Maybe it isn't exactly what you wanted, but I assure you, by doing your best to handle right now, you're going to have a better future. Example: If Sally broke up with Bob last week, and keeps thinking how awful she was to him which is upsetting, but thinks if she just imagines a perfect future instead of dealing with what's going on right this second, she is likely to be anxious, upset, and depressed. If Jim knows he still feels sad about his break up last week, but works on how he handles his emotions and behavior today, he is usually feeling a lot more stable. 

    Look all of that can be confusing, and it's not even a whole list of possible ways to handle lust for results. Let's just be clear, it's a huge spell killer. It's basically obsessive anxiety. It sucks. If you think you're falling into this trap, you need to find a way out as fast as you can. I can suggest a few different things, but if you really can't get out of that pit, you might need a psychiatrist, not a psychic. Mental health is physical health.

    You need a different spell:
    Sometimes we think we are using the "best route" to what we want and we aren't. I tell my clients this story, and no doubt I've shared it here, too. Many many years ago, when I was a very young woman, a friend of mine broke my heart. He did it in a very very rotten way, because he was also very young, and sucked at handling things well. About 8-9 years later, he  contacted me and asked me out on a date. I told him off and made it clear that he was a piece of shit and didn't he remember all those things he'd said/done when we were young, and that he'd broken my heart, and I no longer respected him. It was literally like all the vile feelings I forgot I had rose to the surface and vomited all over his face. He was mortified, and excused himself from the convo. But, I was like "how could he forget that!?" so I did a spell to make him feel guilty for the pain he'd caused. A lot of time passed without me hearing a peep about it. I forgot about the spell. Years later, I had to tell him about the passing of a mutual friend, and he invited me to see him. We'd been very close when younger, and it wasn't an odd request. When we finally bring up "the big fight," I came to realize my spell REALLY WORKED. He'd felt terrible FOR YEARS after I cast the spell…but he wasn't the type of person to discuss that sort of thing unless he was one-on-one, in your presence. (I completely inwardly facepalmed.) Yes, we remembered certain parts differently, but this is a pretty tough cookie, and he told me I hurt him to his soul. That he thought all of the time for a long time what I'd said and felt absolutely terrible. He asked me to "forgive [him] for being a 22 year old boy," because that was the biggest cause of his bad behavior and he could see how I felt it was more malicious in nature.

    So, had I been very invested in getting that apology, while my spell did work, I would say I didn't know so for years….and I'd be disappointed if all I ever needed was the apology. I would have had to use something else to get him to fess up earlier. 

    People get very disappointed when one spell works rapidly in one situation, but falls flat in another. Don't be! This is no different than the fact Aleve works wonders for Mr NinjaCat, and does nothing for me, while Advil is the only OTC painkiller that works on me, and Aleve and Tylenol do jack and shit. Is one of us broken or something? NO! It merely means that sometimes you need to find a different solution, even if it's for the same problem. This doesn't mean it's an ass backwards solution. It means…sweetening up one target might make them want to reconcile while using controlling work makes them combative VS another target reacting well to controlling reconciliation and hardly reacting to sweetening work. 

    *You have unseen obstacles.
    I am a big, big, big fan of roadopener work. I add it to most of my spellwork. It breaks down little unforeseen problems in manifestation. I highly recommend it.

    Hopefully this has been enlightening and not too repetitive. I legitimately am working on 3 other articles (2 of them SPELL articles,) so I'm sorry for all of the review. Sometimes when I get inundated with a lot of the same types of questions, review is the way to go. 

    Best,

    ~Cat

  • Q&A: Terms and Conditions

    Hey Occulties,

    This came into my inbox today, and since it's an interesting topic, and one I think more people should consider with spellwork, I figured I'd present it to all of you. Many thanks to the reader who allowed me to answer her question here. I've reworded it for context and to strip it of any identifying information in respect for my reader's privacy.

    Q: If I want someone back, but I don't want them to come back to me in a specific way, is it possible to work that into my spell? Can you make rules for spells which prohibit certain types of manifestation?

    A: Yes, you can be very exact about what you do or do not want to happen, although the more complicated you make it, the harder it is for the spell to manifest. 

    So, let's say that you want a car. That's all you spellcast for, that a car come into your life entirely free of charge, no other details given. Well, that might manifest as a drunk driver wrapping a car around a tree in your yard one night, and there you go, it's in pieces and won't work, but you have a free car. It might also manifest as say, your brother wanting to be rid of his car to get a new one, and feeling generous, instead of doing a trade in, he gives the old car to you. But then it might also happen that a friend with a real beat up car pulls up to your house, the car dies in the driveway, and the friend says "If you can fix it you can have it – hell, you can have it," and now you have a car that is probably never going to run again…but it's free. All of these – and lots more – are possible manifestations of "getting a free car." 

    Remember, spells take the path of least resistance to manifest, and so the likelihood of getting a NICE free car would be much lower than getting a horrible rotten broken down mess of a free car, because…well, that's a valuable item. If the manifestation is taking the easiest route to get to you, you might want to consider expanding on what you want regarding this car.

    So, with that in mind you do another spell, and now you ask for a hunter green Toyota Tacoma (not even sure if that is still a model they make, ha ha,) from 2016, with no rust or body damage, which will cost you no more than $5000, and has never been owned by more than one person and it has a leather interior. And now you have the opposite problem. Let's presume for a moment that, within a 30 mile radius, there are only 3 vehicles that are 2016 Toyota Tacomas with leather interiors. 2 have body damage, and one has had 2 owners. So, if we broaden to a 50 mile radius, we find there are 2 cars that meet your standards, excluding no one will sell them at a loss. Furthermore, they are not advertising these vehicles for sale or looking for buyers, so for them to find you or vice versa would be a really difficult thing. But you will not be deterred. Your spell must succeed. You broaden your search to all of the USA and find your exact vehicle, and a seller willing to take so little, but it's at an auction 3000 miles away, and you either need to finance someone bringing the car to you (and going to the auction for you) or go yourself. Did your spell fail!?

    No, the problem there is that you are being too picky. First you wanted just a free car, and now you want something that is much rarer than "a car." 

    So, now taking that in mind, you cast one last spell. You want a green truck in good shape with less than 150k miles on it, and it can only have one owner, and must be no older than 2009, and for sale for $5000 or less. Within a month, you find a very nice, green Ford Ranger, 2010 model, something which had previously only been driven by a rather elderly driver around town, in great shape with 75k miles on it. The original owner's son is selling the vehicle as he is moving his parents closer to him and neither of them drive anymore. He tells you if you can pay him $4000, you can have it. 

    If you look at all of these examples, being NOT PICKY ENOUGH can, at times, invite disaster, although it is likely to manifest more quickly as it has several available outcomes. However, being too picky makes it almost impossible for the spell to manifest, and it also seems to take a lot longer to get to manifestation. Having a balanced idea of what you want without being overly choosy brings "better" outcomes, while also not creating a situation where due to a lack of possible routes of manifestation there are several problems with manifestation. Let's apply this to a relationship.

    You say "I want (person's name) to come back to me." Nothing else, just that this person come back to you. You cast a spell with this as your only command. The person shows up the next day to drop off a few of your things. Without speaking, they return to their vehicle to drive home, only to realize they left one of your belongings in their car, and they return to you, handing you this item. Then they leave. 

    Well, they came back to you. Not because they wanted a RELATIONSHIP with you, which is what you want from them, but the spell still followed your command. 

    So now you overract, and as your command you say that (Person's name) must come to you desiring to reunite and rekindle your relationship within two weeks, that they must insist you move back in, and that they be wearing (specific outfit,) and that they dream about you constantly and that they won't stop talking about how much they miss you to shared friends and that they also feel terrible guilt for all the pain you have suffered. 

    I really hope my long-term readers are rolling their eyes at all of the mistakes in that. So, first off, the fact you insist that this all takes place in 2 weeks means it will probably fail at the outset. Assuming your ex is mad enough to be moving you out of the shared home, and assuming this has been brewing a very long time (the break up, the resentment,) you are probably asking for something relatively Herculean in nature that they would be begging you to return so quickly. It does happen, but I would say you would want to be more generous in timing, and you also want to avoid a FAIL DATE, which I described in a recent article so I will not delve into again. 

    Even if we nix out the date, there are other problems. Who is to say this person remembers their dreams? Why are you complicating things with a specific outfit? Does this person feel as strongly as you do about the connection of this outfit to your relationship (honestly, there's a chance, but probably not)? Is this person the type of person to go on and on to shared friends about you? If they have already said a lot of lousy things about you, are they going to feel conflicted about having to embarrass themselves by saying the opposite things mere weeks later? I could keep going on, but this is more likely than not to just FAIL. 

    So, what is it you REALLY WANT? Well, you want to move back in, and you want them to want to try to work things out as well. So, the command would be more along the lines of "(Person's name) forgives me and reconciles with me, seeks to rebuild our relationship, and wants me to move back in with them." It's not overly complicated, and it is very clear. 

    But the original question was could you have someone come back in a specific way…I would say yes, but be very leery of asking it to happen in a specific way. If I want (person) back, I need to be clear why it is so necessary that they would reconcile with me in a particular way. Most of the time it is not for any really good reason. It's just as good to have this person want to reunite because they find themselves missing me, as it is for them to run into me and be overwhelmed with desire and love for me that they had been suppressing. Having a desire to have someone beg you to come back versus just suggesting it's a good idea might have more to do with your ego than anything else. If it's contrary to the person's nature, it will also be harder to make it happen as so. 

    Now, if you're saying can you "prohibit" a specific type of manifestation, then this is something I see more in curses (example: "I want (target) to suffer horribly, both mentally and socially, but to be free of any physical damage or harm,") than love but yes, if there is an outcome that is absolutely repellent, you can stipulate that the spell not manifest through that route.

    Hopefully this was enlightening!
    ~Cat

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  • The Most Basic Honey Jar Ever

    Hey there lovies,

    In the last few weeks I've been discussing honey jars (aka sweet jars) with several people, and, since I really find it much easier to write something out ONCE (though I'm sure we've been through this before on this blog, ha,) rather than re-write it several times, I figured I'd post the most bare-bones sweet jar there is. There are fancier ones, of course, and I've even put a few of those fancy ones here on this blog, but let's do the "skeletal version" – not least of all because I assume that more or less all of you can do this with pretty much no ordering anything fancy or special, – this stuff might even be in your home right now. 

    The ingredients are:
    A sweetener (this can be honey, corn syrup, or even mock maple syrup like Mrs Buttersworth,)
    Table sugar
    An image of your target or a personal item from them (aka witness sample)
    A pen and paper
    A jar
    Candles, preferably pink (I use tea lights, but smaller candles are suggested, either way.) 
    This jar is worked every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

    Traditionally a lot of people use honey, but I often use Karo syrup (corn syrup.) It's not only cheaper, it also does the job just as well. Store brand/generic is just fine. And by table sugar, I mean white sugar. It doesn't have to be fancy….I know someone who would brag to me years ago that she used this fine-grain white sugar (not confectioner's sugar, just like a "fancier" version of table sugar, if such a thing exists,) and that she felt it was superior. It's actually the exact same thing chemically, and if you want to pay an extra $1 or 50c or something, and feel fancy when it's THE SAME THING, you go right ahead. I almost always use store brand white sugar, and skip the added cost of having a brand name on it. ;) 

    Now that you're all sitting there with sugar and some sort of sweet syrup and wondering why the heck I told you to grab that stuff, what is a honey jar for, specifically? Well, it's to sweeten someone up. So, if someone angry or cold or even a bit mean to you, that's why you make a honey jar. 

    I know people who suggest this is a superb way to reconcile a very angry ex. I do not entirely agree with that. I would say that this is most beneficial in a situation where you are still with the person (if working on a romantic scenario,) or still actively a part of this person's life (so they haven't blocked you out completely.) So, if Mr NinjaCat is all angry and fussy with me – regardless of whether or not I am the cause of his behavior, – I might use a sweet jar to calm him down and make him more attentive and loving. to soften is angry and sour behavior. 

    And before I proceed, a note – the above is far more simple than my own honey jar. I would also add in specific herbs, possibly an oil or three, and if I'm being fair, I like to use an image of the target from time to time, where I've used the image as my name paper. Today, we are just focusing on how you can make the most simple and effective honey jar – not "what sort of complicated versions does Cat use?" :) 

    Ready? Good. 

    Write your name paper out using the name of the target 9 times like this:
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)
    (Firstname Lastname)

    Now turn the paper clockwise so that the names are running vertically (up and down) and write the command across the names 9 times, for example

    Loves and forgives (your full name or petitioner's name)
    Loves and forgives (your full name or petitioner's name)
    Loves and forgives (your full name or petitioner's name) (x6 more times)

    Spit into the center of the paper, and place the witness sample (aka the personal item or photo) into the center of the paper. Now fold the paper in half TOWARDS you. Turn the paper and fold it in half TOWARDS you again. Now drop this into the jar. Fill the jar with your sweet syrup. Place the lid tightly on the jar. 

    Hold your hands on either side of the jar, and try to envision yourself and the target engaged in a warm and happy embrace. If you feel as if you can send energy, try to send pink energy into the jar to fill it as you keep this vision in your mind's eye. Now grasp the jar and shake it it, while you say "Sweet, sweet thoughts of me  you will think constantly!" nine times. Now place the jar on your altar (or tabletop if you have nothing else,) and place a candle on top of the jar. Light the candle and say (name of target,) think only sweet and kind thoughts of me, feel your heart warm and open to me, as is my will so mote it be!" Allow the candle to burn out. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, repeat the process until the target has sweetened up towards you. You may reuse the jar for up to a year, so long as it isn't moldy. Remove any wax drippings from the jar as the accumulate to prevent fire hazard.

    See, it's super simple. Anyone can do it. It also probably costs you less than $3 to create it AND a bag of tea lights (like 30-50 of these are a few bucks – you can even get them off of Amazon), so it's not even expensive to run a sweet jar. 

    Hope that was enlightening! 

    ~Cat