It Must Be One of THOSE Decades…

Okay, I am in the middle of writing a nice article…and being asthmatic (yes, I smoke, too, and before you lecture, in is contradincative in smoking where it makes it better, whilst worsening your athsma if and when you quit smoking…) I realized I was out of my Bronkaid, and that I was a bit wheezy. This is the same as Primetene Tabs. Yes, I have an inhaler…3 in fact: Albuterol, Proventil, and Advair. All that really works is Albuterol, Proventil is the one for people no longer allowed to use CFC’s but who still want Albuterol (its garbage, think you are gonna die for 5 minutes, worst “emergency inhaler,” ever,) and the Advair was a lark on my doctor’s part to help with my allergies vs. my athsma. It sucked, and I don’t use it. It was not the wheeze requiring the Albuterol…then I would have taken it. It was the “I am living in a sealed house in the winter in NH and bronchial because I smoke and have 3 pets and old insulation,” wheeze.

So I haul-ass to the drug store. Mind you, ever since a bunch of people in the mid-west and perhaps west coast decided they could create a drug out of household cleaner and cold medicine, the other 99% of us who DON’T use crystal meth, nor would we (it makes your teeth and hair fall out, friends,) have unnecissarily suffered because someone got creative with psuedoephedrine and Clorox or something. People on the east coast have not yet really gotten into this weird trend of consuming Sudafed mixed with Mr. Clean (or something along those lines,) but we still forced to go to the counter in case someone on our side of the country gets this idea to start doing so. No biggie. I ask the druggist, “Do you have any Bronkaid?” He looks over, and he’s like “Doesn’t seem like we have it in stock.” So I ask, “Do you have Primatine Tabs then?” He looks over, scratches his melon, and walks over to the computer. “Oh, well the company is temporarily out of stock. Might be reformulating that due to those meth-kids out west,” says he.

Alright. Listen. IF IT AIN’T BROKE DON’T FIX IT. Bronkaid and Primetine Tabs rock and are great for athsma. For goodness sake, I have been taking Bronkaid and Primatene tabs since I was little FOR ASTHMA, and it works wonders, and my GODDAMN DOCTOR told me to take it YEARS AGO. Yep, you know what? It has either psudeoephedrine HCL (a form of ephedrine, for those of you curious,) or ephedrine HCL in it. I would need to check the box. However it is NOT ephedra (the “natural ephedrine” which is actually more dangerous than the chemical,) and is NOT crystal meth. Why did you diet freaks and junkies have to go about ruining a treatment for cold suffers and asthmatics that has been around for over 50 years? >:S This is my pointing finger pointing at you. Are you not ashamed? You should be. And YOU Bristol-Meyers-Squibb…I have my eye on you, and when I locate my empty BronkAid box, I am checking out your new box to see if you’ve ruined my formula. Please tell me you are not putting something god-awful like Dextromorphithan in there or something. Bleh.

This decade has seen the infective rise of PROHIBITING useful objects which are only dangerous to someone’s health when grossly misused. Geez, if I put toilet cleaner in my eyes, I would die or go blind, but they haven’t taken that off of the market because its useful for cleaning toilets. 😛 For goodness sake, Sudafed, STRAIGHT psuedoephedrine Sudafed, is safer at the regular dose than asprin is at the regular dose. Seriously…and I always crack up with the stupid-people warnings, like “do not eat this rat poision,” or the toothpicks also saying “inedible.” I’m very sorry for people so dumb that at an adult age, they cannot comprehend that poision will kill you, and that ingesting a toothpick is probably not bright either. Or the laundry detergent that says, “Avoid contact with eyes…” Really, I never woulda guessed. Some people are really hankering for a Darwin Award.

Alright homeys…here it is…if you can locate Bronkaid, the 60 tabs version…and I can respectably KNOW you have this box…and you are one of my peeps (as in, we ARE acquainted,) cuz I can’t trust this job to just anyone… Huck it over dis way. 😉 I will reimburse you. The only online options at my disposal involve me photographing my liscence (indentity theft, OH MY!)…for goodness sake its easier to get Oxycodone online from the looks of it. I have my NH peeps scouring Rite Aids and pharms everywhere for ONE DANG BOX as of tomorrow. If I find the box, I can hack up the yucko stuff much easier this winter.

Who in the hell changes a cold/athsma formula over the winter? Morons. Absolute morons. I’m so sick of feeling like a junkie looking for something I’ve taken since 12. 😛

Alright. If I get the bad yucks out of my lungs, this article may get finished. You are all on a mission from Cat here…which is less-important than a mission from God, but…well, I’m sure God is OK with this mission.

And you meth-heads…enough already! >:S Go make your drugs from other legal things people don’t need like Brussel sprouts or those little smelly trees people put in their cars or something.

~Cat