Tainted Love

Hi Occulties,

Today I’d like to briefly chat on the topic of love…considerably so because it is what most of you write to me most regularly about, especially on the topic of tainted love.

For most of us, a relationship is a struggle at times. Even the best relationship has bad moments… However, most of us do not stalk, harass, threaten or demean someone in an attempt to return or keep with us a lover…do we? No, we read Cat’s Rants, and we know that in a world of bad ideas, that stalking, harassing, demaning, or threatening our ex or soon to be ex in an attempt to bully or annoy them into staying with us is a terribly bad idea.

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve told people off, told them they suck, purposely annoyed people…sure, I’m human…but see, I don’t want those people in my life, and I hate to say it, but I was done with most of that behavior a decade ago when I was getting out of my teens. 😉

This doesn’t mean that I’ve never struggled with the desire since then to call someone 800 times until they answer, or struggled with the want to scream at them that they are being such a turd and I just love them and freakin’ come back here already. The temptation is there….and I give it a good swift kick in the arse because I realize that if put in the position of BEING the person recieving 800 calls or getting screamed at that I am a jacka$$ who needs to come back already because so-and-so loves me, I’m turned off by it and probably thinking over a restraining order against whomever can’t stop harassing me. 😉

So, it boggles your friend, the NinjaCat’s mind when you tell me things like “So and so hasn’t called me in a week, Cat, so I called so and so, and s/he didn’t answer, so I kept calling, and kept calling and kept calling, and then I IMed them a few times, and then I emailed them, and when s/he still didn’t answer, I showed up at his/her house, and boy was s/he NOT happy to see me – why? I mean, there’s all those love spells I cast, and…”

If you hear the beeping noise, that’s me making you back the truck up. Firstly, in a world where everyone has caller ID, why are you calling someone a million times? Eh? Why don’t you just write across your forehead “I am unstable” because this is the message you are sending out. You are probably scaring the f*** out of your ex.

Nextly, you IM them…and this helps…how? Because if their puter is on, I’m assuming they are near the phone and have already declined to answer your call that day. So, this reinforces, AGAIN, that you are mentally unstable (therefore unpredictable, scary, and possibly violent,) and this is not the message you wish to send out to someone you want to come back to you. They may even be worried about your well-being right now, but not in an “I want to reassure and comfort,” that person type of way…more along the lines of they might want to get you comitted to stop you from hurting yourself and others.

THEN, the crowning acheivement of this badness, you actually go to where they live to demand an audience, and you expect them to be happy or grateful for this? I’m sorry, kiddos, but NO spell is a guarantee against acting like a nut. NONE. If you act like you are no longer right in the head, your spell is kaputz. Even if I felt madly in love with someone, I would NEVER date someone that unstable.

“That’s an exaggeration,” you say. But it isn’t. I hear it often.

However, let us move along to something a bit more tame.

You say, “Cat, I just want so and so to know how I feel…not to be scary to them, but just to let them know (that I am sorry/that I still love them/that I don’t care about what they did, etc.)”

Alright, well, as simple as that sounds to you, if so and so has already let you know that they want you to stop contacting you and its over, the liklihood there is that they have no desire to hear what you have to say, and these words are unwelcome. There is NOTHING POSITIVE TO BE GAINED BY CONTACTING A NON-RESPONSIVE PARTY, ESPECIALLY ONE WHO HAS TOLD YOU TO CEASE CONTACT. I know YOU feel guilty for your actions. Perhaps if you could actually pull of a “run into you by mistake on purpose,” episode without being caught that it was very obviously on purpose, you could gauge, by this person’s reactions, how well this discussion would go. For example, let’s say I run into an ex… If my reaction is to look like I am about to throw up and that I am seeking the nearest exit, he can assume this is not the time to enlighten me on his feelings of guilt or unrequited love. However, if I run into an ex, and I smile and wave, he might assume that this would be an okay time for him to tell me that he’s feeling remorse over the fact that he was a jerk. The point I am trying to make is just because YOU feel guilty, or YOU want them to know that YOU love them, or YOU don’t mind their actions…well, maybe they are either unwilling to hear it or just not ready to deal with YOUR need to relieve YOURSELF of these overwhelming feelings. In making YOURSELF feel better – what are you doing for them? Food for thought.

Instead of making yourself feel better by forcing them to hear how you are feeling or what your guilt status is, use THIS TIME, to allow your ex some peace from your presence, and spellcast on them instead of enlightening them to your sorrow, guilt, etc. My feeling here is that you’ve probably already told them that you aren’t mad about whatever, that you are sorry for what you did/how you acted, and that you still love them right around when the break took place, so no need to repeat yourself…just do the reconcilation spellwork instead. 😉 THEN perhaps they will call you and look to reconcile because your spell would have accomplished motivating them from inside instead of making them feel bullied into returning.

Before you all get annoyed with me, allow me to remind you… My crazy ex who will not be named because HE SUCKS, this gentleman DID use recon spellwork on me…and it worked. I even KNEW he used the Intranquil Spirit on me, and I didn’t resist. I fell for it. Once he effed up again, and I broke up with him for effing up again after he got me back I then protected myself from any of his further reconcilation shniz but the point is, I’m a rootworker, and I know rootworking and who’s doing it against me. If me, a person who’s in the know and knew what this person was doing was still hooked, you can make it work on your ex, too. All he needed was proper action (which he did have at that time…no calling or stalking or his regular ill behavior,) and the proper spell, and IT WORKED ON ME. In fact your ex is not apt to know what you did or that you did anything because they aren’t a practiced rootworker. The secret to making it work is not just proper spellcasting, but also you having PROPER ACTION.

Proper action in a recon spell means:
*You do not bully, harass, annoy, or bother in any way the spell-target in the mundane or material world.
*You remember that reconcilation means “winning someone back,” which is similar to the original winning them over in the first place.
*You can be patient.
*You do not “check on your spell” by calling or contacting this person to gauge their response.
*When you get the person back you do NOT repeat the behavior that made them leave in the first place.

If you can do all this, without thinking your spell energies to death your spell should work fine.

Anyhow, sorry for the lengthy diatribe. 😉

~Cat