Yeah I wanted to write you an article….but…

Hi Occulties,

My temp post is down. It ends up I can’t escape looking in that inbox before I get here even if I try. Why? Because some stupid part of me thinks something in there will inspire me or make me not entirely doubt that humans are a race of intelligent beings. That inbox is an evil mistress because I look in there and I am STUPIFIED. That’s RENDERED DUMB by 95% of my email. That is to say, I really can’t believe I’m getting so many of these weird requests at once because I never get this volume.

The thing is, I have a surge of similar requests…and I don’t know where this is coming from… I keep getting emails about wish granting spells and does St Expedite grant wishes and wish that and wish this. Here it is:

1. I do not really put much stock in wish granting spells. I have never found a “wish spell” to be very effective. It’s like a toss-all catagory and to me that’s like offering someone 1 asprin for to mend bone and sinew and nerve and flesh, and take away the pain of a broken leg. Considering asprins don’t mend bone, and one won’t kill much pain, that shows you the level of belief I have in “wish spells.”

2. St Expedite is not a genie or some magical wish granting sprite or what have you. He doesn’t grant wishes. He helps you with emergencies and grants (REASONABLE) requests fast, which you do not need grossly large sums of money…I mean like you need to pay the mortgage and that’s $1000 might be reasonable….he does not help you turn younger, he does not give you a job you are grossly unqualified for, and he’s not the person for love requests…at least not who I’d personally ask.

3. I cannot turn someone into a magical wish granting genie.

4. For the love of all things holy and unholy where is this wish spell wish master wish stuff coming from? It’s driving me insane.

5. If I could grant wishes why in the heck am I not the Evil Overlord of the Planet, nay the Universe? I might be able to help with REASONABLE SENSIBLE REQUESTS, but asking me to make you an overnight gazillionaire or 20 years younger are not sensible requests.

OK, the orange haired rootworker (me!) is done ranting. *sighs* Feel a bit better there. 😉

~Cat