Hi Occulties,
The above question floated into my emailbox this past week, and since I suspect some of you are curious, I’ll just publicly answer this to the best of my ability.
Please keep in mind, the human mind and human emotions are as complex and varied as can be. I can’t list all of the reasons (because there would be, I presume, an almost infinite number thereof,) but I can try to enlighten everyone as to some of the more popular reasons love-spell targets hide their reactions or why you might get a “weird, partial” manifestation.
Let’s start with REGULAR OLD LOVE SPELLS (not reconciliation):
Fear of rejection – Most people fear having their romantic pursuits rejected, and fear this rejection to varying degrees. Remember, if you really have your heart on your sleeve, it can be crushing to hear the other party doesn’t feel similarly. So, if you’ve been using spellwork to strum those tender heart-strings in your target, they may very well worry they are about to get emotionally-crushed by your rejection when they admit their crush on you. 😛
It’s how we’re raised to act – People tend to forget this when they use love-spells… At least in my culture, and how I was raised, we are told to not make ourselves so vulnerable by letting our feelings be known. If I love so-and-so, but I think he is unawares, then I should not be overt about my feelings. If I am, then I must be clingy, or unstable, or just stupid. By being overt, I’m going to give an idea of emotional vulnerability, and with no signal from the object of my affections that this is welcome, I may be making a fool of myself. These are the things your target may very well think when they become effected by your work.
There’s a big smelly obstacle in the way – Sometimes the problem is not so much a fear of rejection or a fear of showing emotional-vulnerability, but rather, there is something which prohibits the target from properly showing his or her affections… For example, perhaps his/her friend is also interested in you, and they feel it would harm their friendship with this person to make a move. Perhaps you both work in the same job, and there is a rule at that workplace which prohibits co-workers from dating. Maybe you’re just a jerk and you’re married and you’re trying to get the love of someone who won’t make a move on a married person – or on the other side of that, perhaps you’re a jerk who goes after married people and your target would never cheat on his/her spouse. Maybe your intended doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships, and you both live 8 hours apart.
They’re just not that (sexually) into you – I’ve seen people cast love spells and end up with a great pal, but nothing else. While you can definitely enflame lust into a person, there are times where you’re only going to get so far. 😛 If you keep pushing your target, and finding even adding in some lust work is not giving you great results, I want you to consider something…perhaps you have chosen someone so far outside of your sphere of availability that you’re going to get a bad reaction when and if you get this person into bed. I can think of an incident where a male friend of mine tried working love spells on me for years, but honestly, I found him about as sexually exciting as a root canal, which is to say, not at all. I was not, in the least, attracted. However, we became very good friends, which is why he confessed to me later that he’d been working mojos on me for awhile, and finally given up. 😛 I never said as much to him, but if I’d woken up in bed with him one morning, that would be the end of our friendship…the idea of sleeping with him was so adverse to me. So, his spells worked – I loved him very much as a friend, but I’d decided well before he started turning a root on me that there was no chance for us to be lovers. I don’t know if he focused on lust whatsoever, to be fair, but I never considered him boyfriend material. 😉
They’re just not that (romantically) into you – Ah, the friend-zone…it’s not the world’s worst place to be, because you can hang out with the object of your affection, but you do have to realize no one owes you sex or romantic love for just being their friend (and I do hope you are truly their friend despite not getting lust or romantic love,) and sometimes all of us will get totally “friend-zoned.” While some may argue (and be correct in certain instances) that you can leave the friend-zone and enter into the relationship-zone, this isn’t always the case, spells or no. In my experience, it’s easier to get someone’s sexual attentions using spells than it is to get their romantic attentions. If you keep tossing love spells at a friend, and just keep finding yourself with a better friend who doesn’t want to be in love with you, there’s a possibility that you’ve been permanently friend-zoned. See above, regarding sex, but also consider lots of people have sex with their friends (it’s called “friends with benefits”). If just having a sexual encounter with this person will upset you all the more (because you are in love,) consider that as well…you might just end up in bed with your friend, or losing a friend you took to bed. See, your friend might not have a problem doing the horizontal mambo with you, but they might not want to date you…because you’re such a good friend. 
They’re just not capable of having a normal relationship with anyone – Some people are just broken, and I don’t mean they are necessarily bad people. Bad assoholic psychopaths have relationships all of the time. In fact, bad assoholic people often are the reason other people can’t have normal relationships. If your target shows a pattern of always dating 2 people at once, a fear of commitment, dishonesty, etc, you may have someone who really just isn’t capable of a mutually-exclusive or normal romantic relationship with anyone. Spellwork doesn’t make a person suddenly not have all of the emotional problems and personality quirks that made them hard to get to commit before. Rather, it uses the path of least resistance. So, if someone is always cheating on you, then maybe you use a love spell, and now they love you more and still cheat on you. More on that in a bit.*
ONTO RECONCILIATION SPELLS:
Everything under Love Spells – Yep, everything I listed under the love spell header above could be a possible problem, but also…
Maybe you’re scary to them – Are you being scary? Right now, are you acting all insane and weepy and scary? Don’t do that. Did you chase your ex around with an axe? Do something violent? That was bad. Threaten suicide? That was wrong. All of this is very wrong, and you shouldn’t do those things. Calling/texting repeatedly? Bad. In fact, don’t email or post or leave bad stuff in writing. People go back and re-read that stuff. They get more scared and more angry by it when they do. So, are you done acting scary? Promise you’re done? OK. Now, see, you’re still scary to them. They might love you, might even be effected by your spellwork and forgive you…but, sadly, you’re probably still scary to them if you acted super scary. The cure for this is usually time and good behavior, and during that time you might be alone. If you were scary and bad and mean, expect that this person may refuse to return to you out of fear that you might behave badly again. Remember, I did go over this here, and it’s probably a good article to check out if you are considering acting badly.
They think going back is a sign of weakness – While everyone says they will never ever come back again, and while everyone tells me “So-and-so is stubborn,” let me assure you, most people are not that stubborn. However, there does exist a certain sub-set in the population who will never ever ever go back – and not because they aren’t aching and longing and beating themselves up over how much they want to, but because they really have decided they can’t ever return to anyone once any romantic relationship is over. I’ve known maybe TWO people like this ever. And that’s in all my years on this planet, and no I wasn’t dating them. 😉 Everyone says they are this person, but, in reality, the vast majority of people are not. In my single days, I have been known as the world’s greatest recycler of exes so I am not one of these people, lol. But these people do exist, and, at least with the 2 I know, they would not be moved. It didn’t matter how broken-hearted they were, or how much they wanted their ex back, they refused to return. Nothing would change their mind. Now, in this case, you might just keep working on them. People have and people do. Sometimes you win the difficult and stubborn party over. But if you’ve been working on your ex for years, you keep getting big sad “I miss you and love you,” looks from them, you were never scary and/or mean during the break, and they still won’t come home, you might have discovered what I would term the most prideful, stubborn person on the planet. They won’t go back, it’s a sign of weakness. I foresee a lot of crying and stupidity in my inbox over this entry, so before that starts, please understand, this is an incredibly small percentage of people, and the 2 I referenced above aren’t anyone I know to have had spellwork put on them…I just watched both of them agonize for a few YEARS over an ex that they could have easily had back. 😛
You already made them forgive you, but you forgot to add a trigger to make them come back – This one is actually pretty common. You used reconciliation work, but you didn’t use anything to entice romantic love from this person, or sexual love from this person, or even anything to compel them to return. You probably used straight-up reconciliation products and little else. Well, that’s fabulous, and it’s done it’s work. You are forgiven. That doesn’t mean they want to be yours again, just that they forgive you. 😛 So, if you think you fell into this trap, use products like Love Me or Come to Me and forget the reconciliation stuff. You already fixed that part. 😉
They want to do the nasty with you, but they are still too hurt to want to come back romantically – In this case, you probably used too much sex/lust-oriented products in your reconciliation spells, and you’re not forgiven… 😉 Try doing the opposite of the above, and using MORE reconciliation products and LESS or NO sexy love products. 😉
You keep making the same mistakes that broke up the relationship – If your ex keeps coming back a little bit and running off again, you’re probably making the mistakes that chased them off to begin with. Just because a spell makes someone return, it’s not a magic bullet that protects against being a horse’s butt. 😉 If you act out, if you are rude, unkind, or anything your intended dislikes, they may very well be discouraged even if your spells are working on them. So, when you’re not around, they might think positively about you, only to remember all the things that put them off of liking you the moment they make contact with you. Do your best to AVOID fighting with your target, being accusatory, being rude during the stages when they are coming back. You’d be surprised how many people need this reminder. 😛
They forgive you, they love you, but they don’t trust you – While I’m sure it exists, I can’t think of a spell that will rebuild trust quickly. If you lied, cheated, or in some wise betrayed this person, they might forgive you, but they may not trust you any time soon. Unfortunately, earning trust can be very difficult, and many people will give up on getting the person back before they’ve earned that person’s trust enough to come back. If your intended is worth it, then keep working that love mojo on them and proving you’re a reformed person. If they forgive you and love you, the trust can probably be rebuilt as long as you don’t eff up again. But it will take time. 😛 So, if you were traitorous or deceptive to your ex, but have cast some spells to reconcile them, and you’ve noticed your ex is warm to you, and has expressed their forgiveness but won’t let you back, best start working on rebuilding trust with them. Many people require trust in a relationship, so it’s important that you work on showing them you can be trusted.
It’s too soon – Sometimes, when you’re a total bag of dicks to someone, they just aren’t READY to forgive you. You might see the entry above where I speak of people being scary. Well, that’s a possibility. OR perhaps the break up was so traumatic, that they DO need to process it alone. Your trying to draw the person back is merely lengthening and impeding process because they need to be away from you to properly psychologically process the events. 😛 While it’s rare, I’ve seen reconciliations that took place YEARS later that probably would never have occurred unless they took place years later. The general rule of thumb with reconciliation spells is to work as fast as you can, and I’m usually, in 99 cases out of 100, an advocate of working as quickly as you can to fix the situation, but it’s NOT ALWAYS the right choice.
It’s too late – Listen, if you’ve been working on your ex for years now, and they’re married happily to someone else, and have 3 kids with that person. You might just move on. You can love someone and not be with them. It’s not the worst thing possible. They aren’t dead or dying, sure, so there’s a chance, but seriously, the chances are most-likely MUCH MUCH MUCH slimmer than they once were.
They never loved you anyway/You confused a sexual encounter with love – If someone did the nasty with you like 3 times, they are probably not in love with you. One night stands don’t need reconciliation work…you might try love work, though. That’s more apt to bring you what you want. 😛
*TO THE “I CAN MICRO-MANAGE ANY PERSON INTO BEING MY PERFECT MATE GROUP:
Above I said that if you make a cheater love you, they will still cheat even if they love you. Well, I know some smart ass is like “Nuh-uh, Cat, because I can tie his nature. Then he won’t get hard for anyone.”
Let’s presume you know the secret to tie a man’s nature, and you’re just amazing at it. So, he goes to cheat, and his pecker lies limp. Well, he still has 2 hands and a mouth, presumably, but you’re just going to tell me he’s a very selfish man. So he goes to the doctor and gets Viagra. However, you just tie his nature some more. Then he gets prostate cancer. Now not even Viagra will resurrect his dead cock. Of course, it won’t work for you, (or anyone) so now you have a man with a dead dick. Bravo.
Alright, let’s assume you are just the love-bindiest person that ever existed. You say “I won’t tie anyone’s nature, but I will bind this person to me! They will always be bound in love to me!!!!” Very well then, so this person is a cheater who loves you – we’ve established they are a chronic cheater. Are we agreed there? So, now you’ve just bound someone who will cheat on you anyhow to follow you about for the rest of your days. Again, you didn’t fix the cheating.
“BUT CAT! I WILL MAKE THIS PERSON NEVER LEAVE MY SIDE!!!” you say.
Oh, that sounds functional. So, presuming this doesn’t turn into something where you both get liquified in an unfortunate wood-chipping accident and become a combined corpse, how else could this go… Well, a baby is the two of you combined, but this person might leave. You still have them with you forever, combined, in a new human. Or Perhaps this person will never leave your side. Maybe he or she will constantly hover over you wheresoever you go, even when you’re pooping. That doesn’t sound like a fun relationship. So…you want someone calling you non-stop, every second, for the rest of your life or something? That says a lot about you.
“No,” you say “I just don’t want Cheaty Mc Cheaterpants to cheat on me!” Here’s the thing there… If someone is a natural-born cheater (and they do exist,) while there are temporary fixes, you’re merely keeping someone who’s made to cheat in love with you. You might have to constantly be vigilant, and even then, the likelihood is they will love you very much, but will get away and cheat. Go ahead and tie some natures if you want, but if magic takes the path of least resistance, you might just cause severe health issues.
Spells do not change the person from who they are. They don’t change the personality like that. If someone is cold and unaffectionate by nature, a spell will only temporarily warm them up. If someone isn’t really a highly sexed person, even the sexiest love spell will only temporarily make them more horny. If someone speaks harshly to you and has a bad temper, you can work a honey jar all you want, and they may improve, but if you stop working the jar, you may very well have a rude, ill-tempered lover again soon enough. Stop working love spells thinking they will create a brand new person. Love spells enflame feelings of love – they don’t create compatibility.
Now, I’m not a stupid woman, and I know many of you will ignore that bold face line above. So, allow me to tell you a little something. 🙂 Over the years, I’ve come across people who are quite literally holding their “beloved” hostage with love spells. I don’t mean that these folks are holding a pink candle to someone’s head, threatening to kill them if they leave (my mental image after typing that is a crazy lady threatening to wax a man to death, whilst beating him with a man-shaped candle,) but rather that they have come to a point where the relationship is so tenuous and so being held together only by love spells, that it is falling apart constantly. Think of this relationship like a lamp, alright? So, we buy this brand new lamp, and someone knocks it off the table. It makes a clean break in 2 pieces. Now that break is representative of a break up between the couple. So, we get our glue (reconciliation spell) and we mend the lamp. It looks as good as new really…can’t even see that crack unless you’re up close. Well, the dog knocks it over and this time it’s in five pieces. (another break some fighting etc,) So we glue this back together, and now it looks a touch shabby, but it still works. Now, every time that figurative lamp breaks, our repair of it will be less stable, correct? At some point even lightly touching that lamp will cause it to fall to a heap of rubble. So it is with relationships. As you keep mending the relationship and keep trying to micromanage your target, the relationship becomes less stable and more tenuous. So, if you have to cast a love spell on someone almost weekly to keep them with you, that means you are using love spells to keep them hostage, and the relationship will fall apart. So, go ahead and spellcast on that person, but remember, love spells do not create compatibility. If it is not meant to be it will eventually fall apart…
Again, I’m not a stupid woman. I know many of you won’t listen. 😉
Hope this was helpful.
~Cat
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