Stop Worrying So Much. :P

Hey Occulties,

This is probably a rant, but here goes…

I could never pick out one thing that annoys me most about working with clients, just like I can’t say I can pick out the things I like best, either. Both are incredibly varied. 😉

However, the most current trend in my inbox at this writing seems to be the “I’m incapable of ever seeing anything in a positive light,” trend, a.k.a. “I am worried over the most trivial of contrary events, so God forbid anything actually scary should happen during this manifestation phase” problem. Therefore, I give this offering unto my reading public in the hopes that someone, – anyone – will learn through me what I had to learn through experience. And that is the following:

ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES! You know that stupid phrase, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?”( Yes, I know I usually say “If life doesn’t also hand you sugar and water, your lemonade sure is going to taste like shit,” but just stick with me here.) I’m sure you’ve all heard it, and if you haven’t, well…it basically means if you get stuck with a situation you find to be less than optimal, use what you DO HAVE to make something good out of it.

Is your reconciliation target acting distant? Well, let them be distant. One thing I’ve learned in life is that smothering anyone you have romantic feelings for (or even just friend feelings for,) is the surest way to kill a flame of love, friendship, or desire. When you get punched with “feeling like the target is ignoring me,” then why not roll back with “Go out and be seen having a fabulous time without the target”? I dunno about you, but when I see people having a fabulous time without me, I feel a little left out. I might want to join in. That might cause me to warm up to someone, so that I can get in on the fun next time. 😛

And that’s what I mean when I say, “roll with the punches.” It’s up to you to make the best of what you’ve got. Magic might be working for you, but if you don’t work with it, and don’t learn to work with what IS going on, don’t expect it to manifest spectacularly every time. You need to be capable of working with your spellwork instead of freezing up every time something you don’t expect happens.

USE YOUR MIND TACTICALLY RATHER THAN WASTING YOUR ENERGY ON USELESS WORRY. Remember that time I told you that worry is the most useless thing that ever existed (although Kanye West may actually be more useless, and also I’m pretty sure tits on a bull are AT LEAST equally as useless as worry,) and you were like “O, really, Cat? But if I don’t worry, I will totes like not see a bad thing coming!” and then I told you that you were wrong? (Note: if you ever contacted me there is a 9 out of 10 chance we had this conversation.) So, if you don’t remember that, or if it never happened that we did have that conversation, allow me to say it, briefly, here…

Worry is basically you plotting all the ways you can fail, and then getting excited about failing. I mean, you’re actually getting a thrill on the idea of failure, which is why you keep engaging in worry. I’m not really sure how that’s helpful. Imagine if you got in your car right now, put on your seat belt, and the moment you put on that seat belt, you thought of all the ways it might fail, or maybe how it could malfunction and slice you in half, and while you turn on the engine you think of how the car could explode, and then you think of how another car might hit the back of your car as you pull out into the street, and…

You don’t do that, right? I mean, if you’re thinking of every awful thing that could very well happen at any moment, you have a problem called an “anxiety disorder.” Most of us, however, would put on our seat belt (not out of fear of dying or getting a ticket, but out of habit,) start the car, and would maneuver ourselves around in the vehicle while staying aware of the other drivers and traffic. So, if someone pulls out in front of you unexpectedly, you hit the breaks, or steer a bit to the right to avoid them – you do NOT fail to adjust what you’re doing merely because something unexpected happened (so that’s panic,) but you tactically adjust your own vehicle to avoid disaster.

How is life any different? What makes you think spellwork and your own actions and opportunities during the manifestation phase are any different? If you sit there, paralyzed by fear and panic and worry, imagining terrible outcomes for your spellwork, how are you going to be able to adjust your own actions tactically to be most beneficial to your situation, and how will you find the opportunities the spell is making for you?

SEEK OPPORTUNITIES. There’s also an old joke that goes like this… A man is standing on the roof during a torrential downpour, watching the neighborhood flood. He prays “Lord, please help save me from this terrible flood. It has already reached past the first floor of my home, and is climbing closer to the roof.” Just then his neighbor comes up with a boat, and says “Bob, get in the boat and I’ll take you to higher ground!” The man says “No can do, I’m waiting for God to save me! I’ll just keep praying.” The neighbor shakes his head, and drives the boat off. About a half an hour later, with the water now climbing up the edges of the roof, another neighbor shows up with a life raft, paddling furiously. “Bob,” he says to the praying man, “Get in, and we’ll get out of here!” The praying man looks up and says “No, no, the Lord will save me, I just need to have faith in Him,” and goes back to praying. About an hour later the water is almost up to the man’s waist. He’s standing on his tip toes when a helicopter soars overhead. “HEY, DOWN THERE!” an army man says to the praying man on the roof. “Grab this rope and I’ll save you! You don’t have much time!” The praying man looks up and says, “No, the Lord will save me! Thanks anyhow!” And waves the helicopter off. Anyhow, the praying man drowns, and when he gets to Heaven, he says “Lord, why did you not save me?” and God replies “Well, I did send a boat, a raft, and helicopter – what else did you want!?”

It’s a given that people miss opportunities…of course some make opportunities that don’t exist as well (I actually term those as “flopportunities” because, generally, you’re not really going to succeed, you just are going out on a limb, and are about to flop right on your face, metaphorically.) 😉 But let’s focus on those who miss opportunities. Why is it that something HAS TO happen in the way you believe it should? Are you more invested in HOW it happens and WHY it happens, or are you more invested in the thing you want happening? In the above, Bob wants to be rescued from a flood, but he’s too invested in HOW he gets rescued. He’s not at all thinking about saving himself, he wants God to come down and lift him physically out of the water, therefore missing all of the opportunities God is sending to rescue him.

So, you want a job selling cars, and you do a spell to get a job selling cars. If you *think* you prefer Jimbo and Sons Ford and Mercury, and you apply there (despite that you cast a spell for THE BEST CAR SELLING JOB SUITED TO YOU, and not specifically for Jimbo and Sons’ employment) does your spell “fail” if Jimbo rejects your application, but Benson’s Hondas wants to employ you? I do know people who will literally tear their hair right out and scream “MY SPELL FAILED!” the moment Jimbo rejected their application. They will not seek another opportunity, they will not assume another one exists, and they will decide magic doesn’t work.

FAILURE IS POSSIBLE, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S PROBABLE. One of the things I see all too often is that someone is faced with what I like to term a “trivial contrary,” OR what they see as a “huge red flag of danger,” the person in question immediately panics, rather than seeking an opportunity or tactically maneuvering themselves so that the situation does not up-end their spellwork.

Now, what is a “trivial contrary?” This is most often just not getting the expected response (generally something small,) or encountering an event that seems contradictory to your desired end (but doesn’t have to be,) which is not alarmingly contradictory, just..well, not in sync with what you expected.

If things don’t visibly seem to be going your way, why is it that you need to immediately assume it’s going to fail? Doesn’t that kind of propel you towards failure? If I’m in love with a male friend of mine, for example, and he doesn’t show me the affection I want him to, should I assume my spell isn’t working? What if he’s just not telling me because he’s insecure? What if he’s not telling me because I’ve rejected him in the past? What if he’s not telling me because he worries we’d make a bad match? None of this means my spell isn’t working, it means my target is holding back. If I just assume everything is a lack of results or isn’t working, I’m blinding myself with lust for results. But let’s throw a more “alarming” kind of “trivial contrary,” into the mix… Let’s say I’ve texted my target, asking him if he would like to go grab a beer. Historically, my target likes beer, and likes having beers with me, but he replies with “Not tonight, maybe another time.” DID MY SPELL FAIL? OMIGOD OMIGOD NOTHING IS WORKING! CAT REASSURE ME! Oh, sorry, I was channeling one of my clients for a moment… Well, that’s definitely not fun. We’d all like it if our target responded with “I like beer, and drinking beer, and the chance to get drunk with you,” but it’s not always going to pan out like that. So, if that happens and I wait a few days, maybe I find out that my target’s mother had been in surgery that night, or he had to stay late at a meeting or a class, or he just had other plans which were of greater importance than getting a beer with me. Maybe the target will ask me out for a beer a few days later. 😛

My point here is, why are you so frazzled over the little stuff? Too many of you are. It’s not always going to work where you won’t have trivial contrary incidents during your manifestation phase. Panicking never helps, and assuming the worst doesn’t either. Even if your spell IS NOT WORKING or DOES NOT WORK, no one is dead or dying. You can cast another spell. So, roll with the punches, seek opportunities, and don’t sweat the small stuff…you’ll be successful more times than you’re not if you take this advice.

THE MOST-LIKELY SOURCE TO DISCOVER IF YOU’LL BE SUCCESSFUL IS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR. If you ball up in fear the moment anything happens, you’ll probably fail. If you suspect the worst anything anything “contrary” happens, you’ll probably fail. If you worry a lot, you’ll probably fail. If you are prone to panic, you’ll probably fail.

Pretty easy, huh?

I hope this has been educational, kids. 🙂

~Cat

PS- One of the best parts of writing this article was that in less than 4 hours after posting it, no less than seven people came in complaining about trivial events that were “worrisome” to them, and wanted me to reassure them. *facepalm*

ALL CONTENT EXCLUDING IMAGE COPYRIGHT 2014 ORIGINALNINJACAT/CAT ASTROPHIED – can not be used, copied, pasted without the author’s express written permission. Image collected off of facebook – if that’s your property and you want me to remove it, please just ask. I thought it was hilarious.