Q&A: Love or Reconciliation?

Hey Occulties+,

This just swam into my inbox. I thought it was a good question, so I’m putting it here. I’ve paraphrased and changed names to protect the querent. Thank you for letting me use this, person who asked said question. 😉

Q: About 7 years ago, I broke up with a man who I was very much in love with at the time. We fought for a year or so, but then reconciled as friends. I did not want him back at that point. We stayed in touch, talked maybe every 2-3 months, and about 2 years ago, we ended up making love while really drunk at a friend’s wedding. It didn’t turn into a relationship, and we stayed (very casual) friends. However, around Halloween, I started thinking I might want to get into a relationship again. He’s single, I’m single, and I just think we could really make it work this time. If he’s interested in the same thing as me, he’s great at hiding it. I think he might have some sexual attraction but I do not know. I know he loves me as a friend. Should I use reconciliation? Love? Lust? What are your thoughts?

Q: While you don’t specify if there were things he might not forgive you for regarding the previous relationship, I’m going to operate under the assumption that all is forgiven. If it is, then do not worry about reconciliation or return to me work. If you worry there might be some lingering resentment from the past, you might do some simple candle work like a reconciliation seven day vigil light dressed and blessed to that purpose.

I’m going to operate under the suspicion that the problem here is that you’re not on his mind romantically. When he saw you at the wedding, he either found you to be an easy mark for sexual activity (sorry to say it, but exes often are,) or perhaps alcohol did arouse some old romantic feelings – however, now you’re not going to be on his mind much because you’re not in his life.

I recommend using Come to Me products, something to make him more talkative (Dara Anzlowar’s Talk to Me formula is very good,) and to go after making him feel romantically loving towards you. Some additional mild lust work DEFINITELY wouldn’t hurt here (men often are led by their penises – sorry, guys, lol, but girls often are led by their coochies, too, hehe,) but I suggest using more ROMANTIC love type of workings than sexual as I feel that if you’re too strongly sexual, you’re more apt to bring about a sexual relationship rather than the romantic relationship you’re seeking.

Remember, with any target, don’t suddenly become all smothering. Be open to their advances without being too overwhelming. Desperation is the world’s worst cologne, and people can smell it all over you if you smother someone the moment they pay attention to you. Be flirtatious if he flirts, but otherwise be friendly, light, easy to approach.

Hope that was educational, kids. 🙂

~Cat

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn’t leaving much time for writing. 😦