Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Hey occulties,

Time for another version of Questions You've Asked Me, where I publicly post answers to some questions I've received.

Q: I feel like I've accumulated spiritual gunk or that I'm hexed – what do I do?

A: First please know that I write an occult blog and I work with other occultists, and the amount of times someone has tried to hex me is small, and the amount of times someone succeeded is even smaller (because I have protections in place) but if that's so when I am in a position where more people are apt to view me as a target, then the likelihood someone has cursed you in some way is terribly small. So, that's good! But it's more common to accumulate spiritual gunk – think of this like just because I didn't fall in a mud puddle today, it doesn't mean my body didn't get dirty just from living. I've sweated, I've had dust kick up, etc. Spiritual gunk is similar, you sort of get a residue from the energies you encounter and it can make your etheric body feel weighed down. The easiest fix is a salt bath. Pour salt in a hot bath, place your right hand over the water, say the 23rd psalm (the Lord is my shepherd), and then get in the tub, immerse yourself, then stand and wash down (head to feet.) I usually just drain the tub and take my regular shower after even though traditionally one should air dry themselves. This is definitely not going to solve being hexed – it's more to cleanse off light amounts of spiritual detrius. HOWEVER most of my readers realize it's all that they need.

If you feel like you've really been hexed or someone is working on you, you can always contact me. I'm glad to help judge if this is the problem. However, from that standpoint you should keep in mind that not all hexes can be reversed similarly. Your standard low-level lay-person practitioner will likely use something that is just as easily taken off as it was to put it on. However, someone who really knows what they are doing probably isn't throwing curses out lightly, and you either attacked them or they perceived you as an attacker coming after them or someone under their protection, and they will not be as apt to use something easily taken off, or will use something that if you don't know how to take it off, it might actually cause greater damage to try to use alternate methods. 

The problem you will run into is that it's a great big old scam to tell you that you are cursed – and them the charlatan says "And it will only cost ten thousand dollars and a trip to Tahiti and for you to send all of your money to me to be cleansed to remove the horrid curse upon ye!!" The amount of times I've actually had a person in my inbox complaining of a curse and they really were cursed is very small. I don't know if I see this condition even once per year. I feel badly telling people that they are cursed when they are because scammers tell people this every single day and it's so rarely true. I'm glad to tell you if you are or are not cursed 100% free of charge, however time is a precious resource I have very little of and I can't give you personalized solutions as that would be a formidable amount of unpaid work. What I will say is if you are hexed or if you are not likely hexed, and you can always see our old friend Karma Zain over at SeraphinStation.com for her Jinx-Killer bath which will take off a fair amount of negative spiritual conditions (and is cheaper than employing me,) or you can take the above mentioned salt bath, or even get a bath out of Draja Mickaharic's book Magical Baths and make it yourself. I'm also glad to be hired for help, but as there are many solutions that do not require it of me, I figured I'd offer a few others as well. 🙂

Also try to remember a few simple rules to avoid getting hexed at all:

First and foremost don't pick fights with anyone bigger and badder than yourself (magically and socially speaking) if you can avoid them. I realize David fought Goliath and won, but in most cases if you pick a fight with Goliath, you'll be a getting scraped off of the proverbial pavement. I've seen it go down a fair number of times where someone picked a fight with the wrong person and paid dearly, but you know, it's not like the attacker made any public spectacle or fired a warning shot in every case, so you may never see the return blow coming your way until you're hit. I know some occultists I would strongly recommend you do not fuck with, and they would totally fuck you up and thensome, but they are rarely the ones you need to worry about picking a fight with. Unless you do something stupid like try to wreck their marriage, or their job, or go after their family in some way, they will probably see you as annoying and not even bother with your petty trivial bullshit. They'll nerf your attack and you won't be able to do much to them. It's the people who are probably at about your level who are going to be the ones who really size you up and go in for a fight. So how do you avoid that? I would say be a good person and don't attack people. So don't break up relationships or ruin marriages, don't get people fired from their jobs, don't steal their money or valuables, don't attack their families, don't talk a bunch of gossip or lie about someone, and don't throw spells around like Yosemite Sam shooting his guns off and you'll be just fine. 

Second thing is be able to identify a spellcaster. There's a lot of them out there. You can usually pick them out and while most are incredibly low-level at what they do, sort of like hobbyists at it, it's still someone who if you cross them or upset them might come after you, and so if you break the first rule, you can have some better idea as to where the attack might come from, although plenty of people who don't know spells employ people who do, so that's not always helpful. Heck, an old spellcaster trick is to get your spellcaster friend to curse for you so that anyone saying your attacks get reflected is uselessly trying to deflect an attack because you're not the one attacking. If I'm not the one throwing a punch, trying to block my punches doesn't prevent the guy behind you from clubbing you in the head, so it's similar with spellcasting…you would not block the curse. 

Third, keep some spiritual protection on you at all times. Remember, an amulet is meaningless and will not help you if you have no faith in it, so just wearing a cross is not likely to protect an atheist. You don't need to believe in any religion, but you would be well advised to find some being you do believe and have faith as being capable of protecting you spiritually. That's not up to me to tell you who or what that is. It's going to be something that's different from person to person. Once you have found this protector, or protection, you should wear an amulet or talisman representative of said protector at all times. This is enormously helpful in repelling spiritual attack, especially from the armchair spellcaster set. :) 

Q: How important is the Moon in regards to spellcasting?

A: That isn't a one size fits all answer, unfortunately. Jake Stratton-Kent has spoken before about how there are different aspects to different spirits when one takes into account varying astrological occurrances, so the St Michael Archangel you call to you in one hour of one specific day of one specific year is not necessarily a different St Michael Archangel a week later at a different time of day and hour etc, but rather is a different aspect of this being. This means you might have called the protector one day, and then the warrior the next. And I can say I've found certain spirits to behave differently at different times of day, but to also be more active and lively at different times of year, and it does seem to correspond to where they are said to come from (ie East, West, North, South,) as well what planet correspondence some have (ie if they are solar, lunar, mercurial, venusian, martial, jovial, etc.) so while I certainly can't say this with the authority JSK has on the topic (being that his knowledge would outweigh my own,) I can back up that this seems to hold weight. So clearly, the moon might have a very strong impact on spirit conjure and working with spirits…

And then you get to what if you have a relationship with them. Again, the above would hold weight because the behaviors can be noticeably different, but then…many venusian spirits also tend to dislike bad weather which isn't astrological and there are spirits who hate noise, and those that hate bad smells or love bad smells, or hate the indoors…all of this meaning you're dealing with a being that does have preferences and a personality, and when you get to know it well enough it develops a sort of bond with you and it does not seem to me that spirits are necessarily barred from making contact regardless of the moon or seasons. It seems more like the astrology part is like office hours for contacting them.

Now when we talk about like love spells, or money spells or etc, it's not something one can't work around. You know I do prefer to work using the proper planet hours and planet days, and the right solar cycle as well as proper moon cycle, but if you're just starting out, you should be most worried about getting the spell right. Use a solar cycle if you can't use a lunar (ie dawn to noon is like 1st and 2nd quarter, and noon to sunset is 3rd, 4th quarter,) but keep in mind because the lunar cycle takes longer, it is a bit stronger than just a solar cycle in regards to how much power it adds. 

If the spell you are trying to work goes on and on and on about the importance of any planet cycle, you may as well stick with it. I'm all for learning how to do something right before you just put on your creative hat and hurt yourself (which is all too often the consequence of the bad advice of "do what your intuition tells you when you're hugely inexperienced and know nothing," gets you.) 

Is it so important it can't be worked around? Usually not. Do you know several ways to work around it (name at least three without looking in a book or online or etc,)? If you know how to work around the moon cycles without having to mind them much you likely wouldn't ask me the question, so it isn't so end-all, be-all as many people make it out to be. However, if you need to ask this question, it's probably pretty important you learn how to use lunar cycles properly and why and how you use them in spellcasting. 

TL:DR – It IS something you should learn, but probably not worth a meltdown if you cast a spell in the wrong moon quarter. 

Q: How long do you need to spellcast for a thing you want before you know it is time to give up or that your spells haven't worked? Is there like a suggested time limit?

A: This falls under a pretty common "how long is this going to take" question that I've answered and everyone hates the answer because the only honest answer is "as long as it needs to." Even I hate that answer. And of course there's always the caveat that it may never work. That's not as common as you fear…it's just sometimes it works when you could give not one shit about the thing you'd so wanted not but a month before…and now here it is in your life. Oh, boo. I've even had situations where something manifested and I didn't know until a few years later (and I mean it didn't take a few years, I just legit forgot I did it, and then the target of whatever spell I did told me all about the effects at some way later date and I thought "Oh yeah, I forgot I did that," whilst they recounted this story to me,) so…you know, it's not unheard of to deal with a manifestation that doesn't suit a nice comfy time frame. Are you counting the days? If not, good. Did you put a death clock on the manifestation? If not, good. If you can let it go and push the situation out of your mind it should take *ON AVERAGE* anywhere from 1-5 weeks. If you haven't seen any results in three months, *ON AVERAGE* that means there is about a 65-75% chance it did not work.

While that is the answer some of you were seeking, some of you are more asking me "Am I throwing myself at something that will never come to be." Look, there are times something isn't yours to have or you think you want someone but you want the to be something they aren't, or you want to stay at a bad job because it's familiar, not because it's good, etc. I am glad to try to give you an OPINION if I think that's what is going on in your life, but it's not my place to tell you to give up. I will tell you if I think you are devoted to a cause that is not what you think it is but you need to decide if you want to keep trying. 

I say this a lot, but some people cling to love relationships because they don't want to lose or for the wrong reasons. Don't stay together for the kids (you'll mess them up more,) don't have a baby to save the relationship (it won't, and you'll probably just mess that kid up,) but most people know that advice. If they cheated on their spouse to be with you, they won't stay with you is another one everyone knows (also never get involved with someone else's partner as your value plummets and they won't stay but the impact they have on your social value remains forever)… But the big one people forget is…just because you weren't ready to break up with someone and you both broke up doesn't mean they are the one who got away. When I was a younger woman, I couldn't stand being broken up with, so I'd bring the guy back and then I'd be like "He's really not my type," and after all that work to bring him back, I'd leave him two weeks after he came back. I've seen a fair share of clients do that, too. It's probably a third of reconciliation cases where it's just the client wasn't ready for the break up so now they want what they feel was unfairly taken from them. This isn't every reconciliation case (I get a glut of emails with people terrified it is every time i say this,) because I've seen plenty of cases where it is not the case (2/3 of them, probably, are not just someone wasn't ready to break up,) and you know you can have a relationship that looks like bullshit on the surface that is a lot more, but you know, you need to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you need them back. Why is it you want them to stay. What are the odds you need to battle to keep them with you. But at the end of the day, you are the one who has to decide when you've tried enough to get this person to be in your life or come back to it and you give up. 

If you keep trying and nothing is happening months and months later, you need to assess your goals and see if you need to alter them. That's true with job spells, with love spells…with most anything, but the one people tend to most get stuck on is how long do I work on a person before I give up. To find the answer you need to assess how you came together, how the relationship has progressed and if you are sticking with something because it's familiar or because you want something that can't come to be, or you just hate losing. 

Hope that is some help and doesn't create drama. 

Q: If you're so pissed about chargebacks, why not just do a money spell and have more money?

A: Let's say I pay you $100 to wash my car. You wash the car while I'm at home and while I don't see you do it, I come out to a washed car. Then 2 weeks later when you have paid several bills and have $32.50 in your account, with absolutely no warning, I decide you did a bad job, and so I debit your account $150. I never asked for a refund, and I didn't warn you I wanted one. I just take it, and it's more than you were ever paid to wash the car. I don't account for the cost of the materials you used to wash the car, either. I just steal from you. This is essentially what a chargeback is. It doesn't matter if you have $9000 in your account and can cover it. It's outright theft and costs the victim well more than what you stole. The most recent cunt I posted about a day or two ago has at this writing racked up fees and fines of over $2000 just because it was stolen at just the right moment. I think the financial snowball has stopped but I'll expect over $2000 if this person wishes to speak to me again because they are due all damages caused by their theft. 

However that should illustrate to you why it makes anyone angry. You literally do the equivalent of theft. And then you do not think about the fines and fees associated because you steal more than you get back. And you may have made serious consequences you don't know about because you didn't have the spine to speak to the merchant. 99 out of 100 chargebacks should end with the person who did the chargeback getting a hand cut off for theft. If you paid for something willingly, you shouldn't get a forced refund in most cases, especially if you did not exhaustively try to contact the merchant. That doesn't mean one day you didn't get a reply, it means like you told them several times (so well more than 2) that you were unhappy and needed to speak to them. I will assure you, almost every merchant will work with the unhappy customer to make them happy, but zero of them will work with a thief. 

So…I'm more pissed that the person is a thief than I am about the money. It really comes down to that. It means some chickenshit with no brains and no guts stole from me, and all because they were too slimy and spineless to literally just talk to me, and now there's a good chance I have to make an example out of them. 

Keep in mind, certain pay processors don't let you know that this is what a "dispute" comes down to, and so you are literally ignorant to what a piece of shit action you have made. The way to avoid this is literally TALK TO THE MERCHANT EXHAUSTIVELY because otherwise you may very well just be nothing more than absolute garbage and basically stealing because you got mildly annoyed someone didn't reply to your email fast enough or forgot to add glitter to your Etsy order or shipped something a day later than expected, or something equally trivial.

It's not the money, it's the thievery. If I want money, I don't go steal it out of the pockets of people I paid for a good or service, – I go earn it. I recommend my method since stealing can come with some pretty bad consequences.

Q: Will a fertility spell give me a baby when I have no uterus but have ovaries?

A: No, you require a womb to grow a baby in but you might use a fertility spell on a surrogate mother when implanting embryos. 

Hope this was educational! If you need to find me you know where to find me! 

~Cat

Hey Occulties,

It's that time on Cat's Rants where I answer questions you've asked me in the last few months. 🙂

Q: Can you explain the phrase "To know, to dare, to will and to keep silent"?

A: Surely. The phrase is basically instructive on how to successfully spellcast. First you have "To know," which you must learn magic in general, meaning either someone gives you a spell, or you know the properties of roots, and herbs, and dirts, etc, and how to put them together to create a spell and use it. To dare to me is out of order here, but in this context it means that you have the cajones to put this knowledge into practice, – that is, to cast the spell. To will is the focus, that is, to will what you want into existence by use of magic and your own internal strength of will, and/or using your will to command spirits to carry out your wishes. To keep silent is to say don't go blabbing to everyone what you've done, as they will take away from the strength of your spell, and back when this was originally written, maybe it would mean your life would be a lot safer since people didn't take too kindly to spellcastin' then. 

I think it should be to know, to will, to dare, and to keep silent, because I think "to dare" should apply to not give into panic or fear during the manifestation phase. I suppose it still could mean that, albeit I don't believe it was the intention of the original author. 

Q: You haven't replied to my chat/PM/text!?

A: Try email. I tend to drop threads otherwise. My friends and loved ones will all tell you that I'm absolutely atrocious to try and reach when it comes to texts or calls, and frankly, other than future Mr NinjaCat, I probably communicate with some of my clients more than I do with my family or closest friends. So, if email is the one sure fire way to get ahold of me, and people I love don't hear back from me when they text, the simple answer is try email.

I receive ZERO ALERTS for any chat service like whatsapp or FB or Reddit chats. 

For faster response, DO NOT get on my case over an email under five business days old. I don't respond well to ANYONE (friends, loved ones, businesses I use, or clients) hounding me. I've literally ended decades long friendships over someone stalking my phone.

I do want to get a reply to everyone, but the absolutely ridiculous behaviors I endure when it's taken all of 48 hours (and usually on my days off) having passed before I can reply get to me would be off putting to anyone, and plus, much to the annoyance of all, I'm wired to ignore you and avoid you if you won't stop crowding me and blowing up my phone, and I have to fight that urge on the daily just to deal with the more slightly needy people on my client list. ;) 

Furthermore, some of the requests I get are downright unintentionally rude and ignorant to expect of me. For example, some people expect me to write out the spells I'm using like I would here on my blog because they are "just curious," and to do this for free. I actually sell that service – I'll write out a customized spell for you if you would like to pay me to do so. It's apt to take me a few hours so I would expect my hourly pay. And keep in mind, any attempt to explain magic to someone who has basically zero understanding about spells is a bit like trying to explain a smart phone to a caveman, which means what I could explain to another spellcaster in 1 minute is THREE HOURS OF UNENDING DISCUSSION with a neophyte explaining topics so very elementary to most spellcasters that it's a bit like you have to explain just how that phone even illuminates to a caveperson, whilst also explaining electricity, and now how we get electricity. Imagine having to explain many modern items we use to someone who's just barely discovering the wheel. Now you know what it's like explaining the simplest concepts to someone who really knows nothing about magic, and if they do know stuff, it's often misinformation as well (because tiktok witches exist.) I know very little about brain surgery, but you can bet I'm not going to sit down with a very expensive brain surgeon and ask exactly how their scalpels and bone saws are made then ask why they prefer that brand and then pretend to know about the brain on their level only to then seem surprised when they tell me it's not actually made out of jello like someone on tiktok told me it was, but apparently several people on my client list would because comparatively this is what some of them do to me. It's not like I'm desiring to gatekeep….it's more that I have several other clients, and can't spend a few hours a day every day on just one or two people. My blog is great for educating you on simple concepts and spells you can use yourself. 

And keep in mind, I do have a life outside of work when I can find a few hours to enjoy a life outside of work. I take the weekends away from correspondence if at all possible. 

Sad that this is really not an on-topic question but despite having stated this frequently, I have to post it here.

Q: Why do you do control spells on Thursday? I read on (insert site or app name) that Tuesday and Saturday are for control. 

A: It depends on my reasoning for the controlling work, but I will honestly say that I do not often use Tuesday for controlling work. Keep in mind, Tuesday is ruled by Mars, so unless I am attacking someone, I find it makes the target too defensive when they respond to the work. They may do what you want, but will be all bitchy about it. I use Saturday for darker kinds of control (Saturn can be used to bind someone to do a thing,) or for when someone was already obligated or contracted to do a thing they are not doing, and Thursday is my most magnanimous day for control, so let's say if I wanted a boss to promote me, I find Thursday (ruled by Jupiter,) to have the best vibration when I don't want my control work to make the target feel too bossed. 

Taking into consideration the influence of each planet day and planet hour is very helpful when working your spells, so as you advance, you will become more and more familiar with the vibration of each day. I find some people prefer certain days to do certain workings which I do not always share the same preference, and yet we are both successful. As long as it falls under the sphere of the planet's influence, it should be workable. So, if you prefer using Tuesday or Saturday to initiate controlling spells, more power to you. 

Q: Why do you believe I want a love-drawing spell more than an obsession spell, when I want my love-target to be all gushy and obsessive about me?

A: Because that isn't an obsession spell unless you're planning to not acknowledge the target's desires towards you. Obsession works in a particular manner, whereas acting over-the-top in love and being weird and jealous because the infatuation feels overwhelming is love-drawing. If you've ever gotten just over the top crazy in love with your partner, does it feel the same as the longing and obsessing about you desire to just be near your ex does? Most of us would say it does not feel the same at all, really, though we might say they seem related. Well, obsession work creates the latter sense in your target, not the sense of infatuation. 

What's interesting to many people is that obsession is a difficult type of magic to work and many people – even practiced workers, – do it incorrectly. See, obsession needs a point at which the obsession is released, so let's say I want my ex to come back, and so I make him obsess about how losing me is losing his best chance at being happy, so once I forgive him and take him back, the spellwork abruptly ends. It has fulfilled it's purpose. Or let's say a friend owes me money, – I make them obsess about how important it is to pay me back or they may lose our friendship forever. Once the friend pays me back, the spell ends and they don't dwell on the situation anymore. This is why I tell people in a love situation, you will want to do supportive love work, or else the moment you forgive your ex and take them back, the obsession spellwork stops working, and you can find yourself in a delicate situation where the relationship isn't strong enough to stand on it's own and may just fall apart again. 

Remember, relationships are living things. If you keep giving them horrible injuries that almost kill them, each time you heal them, they do not come back together as perfect, and eventually, you won't be able to fix the relationship at all, so it's best to avoid emotionally damaging situations as much as possible, as the more damage you put on that relationship, the harder it is for that relationship to function well, spells or no spells. 

Q: Some time ago, you said you can tell who is more likely to have success in their spellwork and who is more like to fail. Can you explain that more at length?

A: I can try. I mean there are a few red flags.

People who need me to explain exactly what I believe will happen or what their target feels are often going to have slower manifestations and/or lack results. They should be interested in the outcome, not how it happens, because the outcome is what we are shooting for, and not the how and why it comes to be. The needing to figure out how it could happen is actually a lust for results behavior. No matter how often I discourage this type of thinking, they still often engage in it.

People who ask for a time frame – which, please understand, I do not view as an unfair question, – almost always have slower manifestations. The proper answer to this question is truly "It will take as long as the magic needs to work," but then even if you try to give a ballpark estimate, add at least two weeks if asked this question or if the person seems impatient with any part of the consultation.

Similarly, people who need to know if something is completed and hound me for this information (and please bear in mind, they often contact me virtually at the exact second the amount of time would have passed for the work to be done demanding to know how it went, – and that is no exaggeration) tend to have control issues, social media stalk, and think their work down to nothing. They tend to have less powerful manifestations. This is almost an exaggerated behavior, so I know several people will assume I mean them, and you may have acted out something similar but in a more tame fashion, which is like a cousin to this behavior, and much much much less harmful. 

Depressed and morose people – and I mean nearly inconsolable, – have already decided something will not happen, and actually prevent manifestation with their overwhelming negativity at times. 

Overplanners also tend to have a hard time getting to manifestation. If they need to plot out everything, they are thinking the work to death. 

So, this is why I say to you, just think of spellwork a bit like something you ordered in the mail. You know when it's coming but I guess there is no tracking on this package, so you just have to wait a few weeks and it will be with you – you wouldn't normally dwell on a thing like that, but it might be in the back of your mind. You are not normally trying to figure out what the UPS man ate for breakfast that day or how the traffic is in a city far away where the package may have stopped at on it's transit to you, right? And if you would, you might be in trouble…it's really put the order in and don't over think and it will to you shortly. 

Q: Can I use regular candles in place of figural candles as long as they are the proper color?

A: Yes, though you will still want to name and bless each candle so that they are representative of the target. When we burn figural candles we are using that image as an icon for the target, you see, so we bless and dress it in a specific manner to that target. If you work a votive shaped candle as if it were like a human figural and set it as you would a figural, it will work the same. Think of it a bit like a social media account. If I don't have an image that shows me or a cartoon version of me or etc, that does not mean I am not the owner of the account. If you knew me you'd probably know I was running that account, regardless of the profile pic. The figural candle is more like having a profile picture rather than having none….which hopefully makes sense. 

Alright, that's it for now. Hope that was informative! :) 

~Cat

ALL TEXT AND MANY IMAGES ARE COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT AND CANNOT BE USED ON ANOTHER SITE OR CHATBOARD, OR SHARED WITHOUT PERMISSION. I OFFER A REWARD FOR CATCHING PLAGIARISTS SO IF YOU SEE ONE, PLEASE CONTACT ME.