Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Hey occulties!

Here I am back with another edition of Questions You’ve Asked Me – where I supply all the answers to your insightful questions – because…

So let’s remember, I try to avoid answering things like can I turn you into a vampire or will magic make you shoot fireballs out if your eyeballs if you just say the right incantations?

Lets get started:

Q: What do you mean when you say a comfortable target is a harder target to influence?

A: This nearly always pertains to matters of the heart, but sometimes to business situations as well. Basically, if I have no reason to make a change as I am content with the status quo, chances are, no matter how strongly you make me feel loving towards you, nor how strongly you might make me view you as successful and worthy of a good position, i will not change the situation. So, if you and I are in a non-exclusive relationship, and I’m perfectly happy with the arrangement, I am not likely to suggest we make it mutually exclusive because I feel a strong surge of love and lust for you. Rather, if I was pleased with that arrangement, I would be likely to change it only if I feel not doing so would mean loss of the affection or love, ie, discomfort which has been created by a sense of insecurity. 

So when we do magic on a situation like this, usually we will want to alter the situation so that the target becomes possessive through the use of obsession work, or the target geeks the status quo has changed by our slightly altering our own behavior towards that target.

Similarly, in a business/success type working, after doing the work to, for example, get a promotion, the petitioner is not only wise to apply for it ask for the promotion, but sometimes to also tactfully alert his or her boss or manager that he or she is also looking at other better paying jobs at other companies, this giving those in a position to give that promotion an incentive so that they will not lose the services of the petitioner. 

Uncomfortable people welcome positive change, but if your target is very content with the current status quo, without some discomfort, it’s harder to get that target to make the desired changes. 

Q: if you’re so good at magic, why don’t you solve the world’s problems? 🥴

A: I never suggested I was some God-like entity or that your standard adept practitioner of magic would or should claim such power or be given so much. If I were a gifted oncologist, it would be equally ridiculous to believe I should be able to cure every patient’s cancer, plus cure the whole world of cancer, while incapable of getting cancer. Doctors get sick and lawyers have legal issues too… so realistically, being gifted at some skill does not mean you should suddenly possess God like powers… even professional swimmers can drown. Furthermore possessing magical skill does not mean I’ve got a saint like disposition. If I truly had so much power, why not become the richest woman alive and make you all my slaves? Ah because just having great skill has never suggested I’d have that much power. 

This tedious stinker has been coming up a lot lately, so despite it being a stupid question, now it’s answered. 

Q: Why do some people only cast love spells on Fridays?

A: Friday is ruled by Venus, who is the goddess of love, so, put simply, it is helpful to use the influence of Venus in love spells. However Monday (Moon) and Wednesday (Mercury,) also work very well with love spells. I actually find using a Venus planetary hour on a Monday to be very beneficial for casting reconciliation spells, so just understanding which planets rule each day of the week is helpful, but if you also understand planetary hours (which, believe it or not, there are apps for this now,) you can use both planet’s influences on your spellwork, to help strengthen your spell and give a stronger push towards manifesting your desired outcome.

Q: What beginner misconceptions are your current peeves!?

A: Hmm, my current top five? As of this date in no particular order… The belief that tiktok is going to teach you anything real about magic (I have yet to see it.) The idea that a spell didn’t work when only a few days have passed (they sometimes take weeks to manifest.) That it’s acceptable or encouraged to post images of a non manifested spell to a group or website when you are literally killing your own work (to keep silent about a non manifested spell is paramount to success, and being as that is one of the four tenets of spellcasting, it’s so elementary that it’s shocking how few people know it.) The bizarre increase in people who read a book once or cast one spell and now announce they are the chosen of (insert spirit/god/dead name here) – trust me, it’s very unlikely they will pick you as their chosen what with the fact you’re posturing like an adept but can’t even cast a spell without checking a book over and over and over and over to be sure you even have your days of the week right. That spirit conjure is trendy and by that reason has attracted so many wannabe followers who are creating a weird watered down, homogenized pseudo-conjure fad that is really…ummmmm… yeah it’s not that bad-ass old school stuff but more like if you tried to make an anime aimed at 13 year olds about conjure. Not sure that is a misconception but it’s weird all the same.

Q: will my spell “backfire” if I use the wrong day of the week or moon cycle?

A: Spells don’t backfire in the sense that they do the opposite of their intended purpose, so for starters, stop using “backfire” to describe the issue. But can using the wrong planet day ot hour have an undesirable affect on a spell? Certainly. For example, reconciliation spells should not be begin on a Tuesday as Tuesday is ruled by Mars, the God of War. If you do not mind this advice, you may find the target/s getting in a crazy fight before they reconcile as if that fight is needed to reconcile. So while someone with a limited understanding might refer to that as “backfiring,” the couple still reconciled and that isn’t the case. Or someone looking for a promotion may find by using a Saturn hour or day that their new position requires a large amount of extra duties and obligations, for example. Just because you do not like the contract, however, the promotion being given means the spell did not backfire. 

Lunar correspondences when used are helpful but are more dependent on the “growth” or “shrinking” of the moon (how the moon appears to wax or wane) to grow or to lessen an influence. Using the wrong moon cycle may give your working less strength but will often give the impression that the spell “fizzled” more than it had an undesirable impact. 

Alright kids, I’ll try to write a part 2 for this months QYAM, but it had been awhile since I wrote up any article at all so I wanted to get something up!! ❤️

~Cat

Hey Occulties,

While Im sure there will be repeats from previous editions, here is a brand new questions you’ve asked me…

Q: I keep looking all over the internet to find conflicting answers on the occult topic I’m curious about. It’s clear several if not most reviews (positive or negative) of the people I’m trying to get the answers from are fake or exaggerated, so I don’t trust those, but I’m also completely new to this topic and don’t know who’s right or who’s wrong. How do I go about learning without getting bullshit answers?

A: This problem has existed since well before the internet, because there have always been crazies and schemers out there. The crazies are easy to identify after a short time, being as they are usually “born witches,” (this is the same as saying born a brain surgeon and without any training, immediately practicing brain surgery as soon as you have the dexterity to use a scalpel,) coming from several generations of witches, and etc, who then are also generally somewhat young (you can be a real practitioner for hire or an expert spellcaster in your 20’s but this is often a yellow flag, though not at all a red flag,) or are people who cast a spell or two out of a book once and within a year decide they are experts (it takes at least a decade of dedicated study and practice to be expert,) and tell you to cast spells not by learning but by what your gut tells you to do, etc. They are usually, but not always, trying to help, but are sorely misled that they are ready to help, and are in fact, more damaging to beginners and to a rather larger degree than they realize. If you come across a crazy and you are not at least an intermediate learner, just politely ignore them.

Schemers can be a bit harder to spot. Maybe they frame their occult practice like they are selling some sort of bodybuilding supplement (but even that is a gimmick but not something meaning they are ignorant,) maybe they assure you that you are the victim of a generational curse (you aren’t,) maybe they try to tell you something ridiculous like they can make you ten years younger or help you lose 50 pounds overnight, or will marry a movie star…and all of those schemes are not so hard to see. But the problem is…not all schemers scheme to sell you something, and, so while a real practitioner for hire usually has more work than he or she can handle a fair amount of the time, and also you probably can see if someone is just trying to sell you something, there is the far more insidious schemer…the one who merely wants to convince you of something which isn’t true because they dislike the truth. There are types of spells I know how to do, and they work, and there are those who will, for example, tell you like the intranquil spirit will destroy your love and haunt you, and it won’t. That type is harder to see, but look for overkill on fear-mongering. There are others who are more positive but still trying to sell you on their idea of how things should be, like people who suggest that spirit evocation is super duper easy and even someone wholly new to magic will be about to draw a spirit up on their first try….and you probably won’t.

So, I do understand the difficulty. Before the internet, we had to buy books, and expensive ones at that, and half to a third were utter nonsense and 2/3 of each book was to teach complete neophytes so it was all review in most cases. Now you can find beginner books and instructional stuff, but 2/3 or more on the internet is young men and women pretending to be witches, schemers, and TikTok stupidity. What is sad is you have access that young people never had to experts…but you’ll probably have to go to Facebook because that’s where all the experts are (because most experts are middle aged or older,) and you might also find a few of us on Reddit or Instagram. And those nifty paper stacks called books are also a good place to start. Look for a respected publishing house and choose from their authors, – this often leads to finding more real knowledge than watching videos online or chewing a ghost pepper and thinking of your ex to burn them (when really, you’re probably just burning yourself.)

Q: I broke up with my ex last week, and he/she won’t speak to me after a severe argument because I (some terrible action like cheating or lying or stealing, etc,) and I need you to change their mind immediately and return them to me in a week or less. Or is there a spell I could do since I am unwilling to pay anyone’s over $50 and even then would only pay that if they guarantee my ex comes back in a week. Can you help? (This isn’t a real person but get this type of shit weekly.)

A: First off, no real practitioner will accept this business because you sound like a high maintenance pain in the ass with unrealistic expectations who also expects quite a bit for an unreasonable price. Comparatively, I might tell someone to build me a house for which, – including supplies, labor, and frequent updates included in this price, I expect this all done for $500. The materials alone will cost far more, just like they very well might in a spell for $50, and honestly, I’m not sure I’d write you out a spell to do on your own while refusing to answer any further questions you had after doing so for just $50.

But let’s say you offer me $500 to take this on. I still may not. You sound like you’ll cost me more than that just in labor. My time, – anyone’s time – is worth being paid for, and I also do not believe any real spellcaster will agree as you expect it in a week. But let’s say you take off the time limit, and rephrase it as “Hello, I broke up with my ex a week ago. We had a huge argument because I (cheated/lied/stole, etc,) and the/she found out and won’t speak to me. I hope with magic I can resolve this problem, and am hoping to do so quickly, if at all possible. Can you let me know the rates and a ball park figure on when it might manifest?” That I might be able to do, and I’m sure most practitioners would ask some questions, then if they felt they could help, they would give you a price and estimated time frame.

But let’s say that you are insistent you have this NOW. The whole what someone for hire thing would do really wasn’t your problem. 🤨 Alright, let’s start with that if you caused a great deal of damage to a relationship, this is comparable to falling off a cliff, and needing lots of physical repair if you are to survive. So, if your leg is broken in ten places, you broke your back, both arms, have a severe concussion, and one of your lungs is deflated, and you’re spleen pierced, some broken ribs…Fix that to 100% perfect as it was before the fall, and do it in a week. 

“Medical science can’t do that, Cat, and I’d be lucky to even ever return to perfect even if I live!” you say, and then ask, “What does that have to do with magic or my relationship?” Well, a relationship is a living thing. If you broke it badly, it will require time to repair itself, even with treatment (spellwork being a form of treatment,) and if you do not follow the instructions given to you, the treatment may fail. We agree the relationship is broken, but you are not seeing that it is a living thing and needs time to heal and the right treatment to make it as good as new or almost so, and if you did enough damage, it will certainly not be the same as it was before the break, albeit it may still be totally fine and in some cases, be better, though in some it is severely crippled.

So now you see speed is not likely to help. If I took a broken body fallen off a cliff and attached it to a steel robot frame and made it move, then that body is up and moving and so soon after it’s fall, but I’ll probably kill the person or hurt them worse, which is exactly what speeding reconciliation does to a relationship so badly fractured.

So, if you want something, you do not dictate a time frame which is not already known (example “the new job I want will be deciding on they hiring on this specific date,” or “I need a new apartment by (specific date,)” or “My court date is:”) and if you hurt this relationship badly enough, you should not expect a speedy resolution as is.

Lastly, any practitioner worth their salt will tell you if you engage in any further bad behaviors (lying/cheating/stealing, etc,) that it is just going to fall apart again, so you’ll need to work on yourself.

As you can see, fixing relationships is a lot of work…and $50 might cover an hour of work. If you do for hire, expect it not to be cheap if you need a lot of one on one time speaking with the worker (who is not a free psychiatrist,) or if it is a complex problem, – and if you do it yourself, there will be trial and error, expensive supplies, and paying a therapist or paying for self-help books to help you with that lying or cheating or stealing problem you have.

Q: I am not able to burn candles. Can I still do spells? 

A: Yes, though you may be limited in some cases. If it’s a problem of a lease saying no candles, well just do it anyhow and then get rid of the evidence quickly. If it’s because your intrusive parents come into your bedroom because you still live with them, contact me when you move into your own place (because there is a strong chance you are too young for me to discuss anything with you about magic or religion as you’re just a kid.) If it’s a snooping spouse/partner, do it when they aren’t home or rent a space. If it’s a roommate, same thing. Otherwise, look for spells without candles. They do exist.

Q: I prayed and/or made offerings to (deity/spirit/saint name,) and did not get what I asked for. Why?

Let’s assume you also told me that you’re not Hellenistic Greek Pagan but are some form of Christian and you said a prayer to Aphrodite to bring your ex back. Having no relationship with this goddess, nothing was received in return. 

Or let’s say you left an offering to a spirit, – whisky for example – and asked this spirit to bring back your ex. Nothing happened.

Let’s say you then prayed to St Anthony, even though you’ve never prayed to a saint, and said “St Anthony, since no one else will listen, and you’re just a dead human, maybe you can bring my ex back!” Nothing happened.

You just did the equivalent of demanding that a world leader grant you a favor even though you never knew them or met them and have no relationship with them, then asked a leader of the underworld – a capo di tutti capo of the world of gangsters and racketeers for a huge favor, and had enough sense to be mildly polite, but having no relationship and having never known this being, you were again ignored. Then you asked someone with say, the power level of maybe a very well known celebrity for a favor – again, not knowing this person and never having any relationship with them, – for a large favor, and were rude. They ignored you too. Why would anyone do you a favor, even if they could, when they have NO RELATIONSHIP to you? They won’t.

And some spirits won’t even acknowledge you if you try to build a relationship with months of offerings.

But, if you want any of those beings to help you, build a relationship with them. Offer praise and gifts long before you make any requests of them, and if they recognize you as a devoted follower, you will reap the rewards when you do.

Q: Will you write out a spell for me to cast on my own and coach me through every step? 

A: I sell that service so if you pay my rates I will. For free I will just point you here and tell you to find something you like and try it. I will clarify instructions on a post for free, but rarely offer substitutions for any ingredient or action. If you need to get a better idea of a spell on this blog’s best use, link to that spell and give me an idea on the situation you wanted to use it on, and I will reply for free to let you know if it is suitable.

I worked very long and very hard to get where I am, and I get paid to do my job, and people very happily pay my rates and then return and buy more services from me again and again, so any abusive attempts to get free services will not be honored or responded to. I also won’t do free readings, or counsel you for hours for free on your life’s problems. I do not give free calls, and if you want to speak to me on the phone, that costs $125 per hour paid in advance at this writing. The rate may change. You may never call me unless there is an appointment scheduled and I’ve not let you know I might be 5 mins late, and I am.

Q: Can I reuse a witness sample in another spell?

A: No, you shouldn’t, unless you are specifically tasked to do a 2 part spell and are instructed to use that item again in the second part. You alter the energy of the item when you spellcast using it, and it is no longer useable in new spells. For those of you needing a visual, it’s like wiping your butthole after pooping and then using the same tissue to blow your nose in it right after. 🤮 You fundamentally changed that tissue by wiping your poopy bum, right? Well, you’ve fundamentally changed that witness item so, if you wouldn’t reuse a poopy piece of tissue to blow your nose, then don’t reuse your witness samples.

That’s it for me today, kids. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions or would like to have me work for you, please contact me.

~Cat

Learn more about love and reconciliation spells – including spells you can cast on your own, here.