Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • To Get a Debt Repaid

    Hey Occulties,

    So, there are NO FREE SERVICES, – no free readings, recastings, or spells. Also, I have FIVE BUSINESS DAYS to reply to you and if you complain prior to that about something being late, I may just fire you. If both types don't like that, I don't like freebie gougers, and Mr NinjaCat is the only person on the planet who can nag me and have it work out in his favor about half of the time, so none of you should be nagging me at all. If there is any more of that crap, everyone can expect my schedule to free right the fck up when I fire those people. Here's a picture of me giving a dirty look while finishing wrapping stuff just so you know I mean business. 

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    Now that we've established I'm serious about no free stuff and that I hate wrapping things (haha) and not to nag me, let's get on with something a bit more fun. So a few people have asked me to post a spell to collect on a personal loan. Now, I want to first stipulate that you loaned them money (not that you paid them or gave it to them and changed your mind,) and secondly that the person must be able to pay you! Do not even bother trying to use this on someone who can't afford anything, much less afford to pay you back…but if you lent the money and the person seems pretty flush with cash and you are pretty sure they could pay you something, try this…

    You will need:
    Dirt from the grave of a thief*
    Dirt from in front of a police station
    Dirt from a court or jail
    A jar
    Red pepper
    A piece of clothing or an image of the person who owes the debt
    A scrap of paper
    Black thread (whole spool)
    Black candles 
    Controlling oil 

    Best done on a Tuesday or Saturday.

    On your scrap of paper write the target's full name on one side, and on the reverse write "Devils torment you until you pay me all you owe" on the other side. Wrap the scrap of worn (NOT WASHED) clothing around this, OR if using an image, with the image side facing in and the blank side facing out, wrap the image around this. Now using your thread, wrap this with the entire spool of thread. If that is a ridiculous amount of thread, maybe go get a smaller spool. 😛 As you wrap this with the spool of thread, see your target tormented and sleepless and worried, as you say "(Full name of target,) you promised me you would return (amount) owed to me, and yet I have nothing in my wallet where that money should be, so devils torment you until you pay it in full to me," and keep repeating this until you've wrapped it in that whole spool, then secure the thread by tying a knot, and as you tie the knot, say "as is my will, so it be." 

    Place this into your jar, and then place the police station dirt on top of it (also inside the jar,) and say "The police torment you until you repay me." Now place the court or jail dirt in, and say "Judges and juries torment you until you repay me," now place the thief's dirt into it and say "and may name of thief/or "the spirit of (name of thief)" torment you until he/she steals it back and gives it to me or you repay me!" Now put in about a tablespoon or two of red pepper and say "The fire burns you and your mind torments you until you repay me!" Stir this around – I use those free chopsticks from a noodle place but you can use whatever you have so long as you don't intend on eating with it ever again if it's a utensil, – and as you stir say "(Full name of target,) devils torment you and you have no rest nor any peace until you repay me what you owe me" – and say that NINE TIMES (just from Full name, devils torment, etc. not the whole jar chant,) and after the ninth time as you cap the jar and say "as is my will, so it be!"

    Shake the jar up with NINE shakes, then place this on an altar you use ONLY for curse type work.  If you don't have a cursing altar, then work this on a surface which you never ever use for spellcasting.  

    Now anoint a black candle with controlling oil and roll this in some of that red pepper, and, keeping the mental image of your target in your mind's eye, light the candle, secure it to the lid of the jar and say: "(Full name of target), the police, judges, juries, thieves, and devils all pursue you and torment you, giving you no peace nor rest until you repay (amount owed) to me! As is my will, so it be!" and let the candle burn out. Burn a candle once a week on this jar (or three times a week, being Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday,) until the debt is paid. 

    When you no longer need the jar, open the lid and dump the dirt out away from your home. I recommend throwing the jar out in a public trash bin.

    Happy Hexing!! :) 

    ~Cat

    *People are going to say to me "Cat, how the fuck do I know who's a thief? For fuck's sake, what do I look like? Some sort of historian?" And you'd be right to think like that, because of course it's not always easy to know those things. Instead, if you know a thief, and you don't like graveyards because you are scared of awesome dead people like some of you are (and there's lots of awesome people buried in graveyards who are much more helpful in death, but I get that many of you are squeamish,) then get dirt from the foot track or the yard of someone you know to be a big stinky thief. We all know these people. Like they'd steal the dentures right out of their own grandmomma's mouth. Go get dirt from there instead. They aren't dead but they still have thief energy so it works. 

     

     

     

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me: December 2022 Edition

    Hey Occulties,

    Stuck at my once a week retail side hustle and since it's incredibly slow die to the storm, I had time to make you this. 🙂

    Q: Can I bless and curse someone simultaneously?

    A: Possibly. It depends on whether one is going to contradict the other. If I curse someone to have their relationship break up, and then simultaneously cast reconciliation magic on the target couple, I would basically be working against myself. If I want my coworker to get fired and I curse them to get fired, then work magic to get this person a job ANYWHERE BUT where I work, I am actually, if I do this right, not causing a situation where one spell counteracts the other. It can take a bit of maneuvering but I can both cause misfortune and good fortune to a target simultaneously without one spell negatively impacting the other. Just keep in mind that if you are doing something like causing someone emotional distress intentionally (as some spells use this as a trigger,) that healing work done simultaneously may cause the first spell to be less effective. 

    Q: Do I need to do "maintenance work" on a situation for the rest of my natural life?

    A: Well, that depends on the situation we are working on. Let's first remember that some situations are what I term "evolving," and some are "set." So by this I mean, my financial situation as a whole is a constantly evolving thing. This may be somewhat less so for someone with a fixed paycheck, but still holds true for most of us. We all have better and worse financial years. So this is an evolving situation, and one singular money spell is likely to impact your financial situation only for about 2-3 months. HOWEVER, a "set" situation involving money might be getting a job. If I want a specific job and use magic to get it, once I get the job, so long as I show up to work and do my best at this job, I should not have to be concerned that the spell will wane as it has done what I wanted it to do – it got me the job. I should not be concerned about needing to do more work on the situation unless I want a promotion or a different job. 

    So if I do maintenance work on a money situation, this is generally done to keep money flowing into me either via more sales (so if you make your living "per sale," this is something you would want to continually do,) or from other sources like people owe me money or I find money in the street, etc. I would not need to do maintenance work to keep my job (unless I really mess up at my job, or even the company is having a lot of lay offs, etc.) 

    Our love lives can be both "set" and "evolving," so that depends on how our situations as a whole are. If my partner is attentive and loving and I have no problems in the relationship, I don't necessarily need to do anything. If we suffered a break or are arguing, I might use love work until the situation rights itself. BUT, once I am happy with my relationship, then I do not require maintenance work, although there is a fair share of those who work it anyhow.

    So, if you're asking this question because magic ain't cheap (to do on your own or have another do,) the answer is you don't NEED TO DO maintenance work on a situation you've had work done on if you are happy with the result, but some people do this kind of work as sort of a method of preventative care in their life or to maintain the strength of a particular blessing (like increased sales.) 

    Q: Does the spiritual body have DNA like the physical body?

    A: Well, I mean, clearly it can't have physical DNA, but I would say that everyone's spirit does seem to have a unique signature all of its own which is likely the equivalent of spiritual DNA. Furthermore as I discussed in a previous post, it does seem we can inherit conditions from our physical ancestors in our spirit body, which tells me there is something to the idea that it works similarly like our genes might give us Mom's nose, or Grandpa's green eyes. 

    The spiritual body is very much like the physical body and follows similar rules thereto in many ways.

    Q: You know your advice sometimes is just dating advice – so maybe that's why love spells work?

    A: You'd be right to understand that the biggest hurdle in social-based spells is a low social IQ or a very panicked person, so it definitely helps them a lot. The amount of time I have to explain in a given week that you give someone space when they ask for space, or that not everyone likes he same "remedy" for the same "ailment" (in other words if I feel upset or angry leave me the fuck alone whereas other people want to be waited on and/or cuddled,) that you can't annoy someone into loving you, constantly controlling partners are unmanageably insecure and generally feel they own people rather than love them etc is not a small number. Many people – even socially skilled people – get nervous and panicky and this advice is quite helpful to prevent little social blunders and speed manifestation.

    I understand the tone of sarcasm and doubt, especially if you are in an emotionally secure environment and not a panicked or desperate headspace. However I have had several clients, friends, readers, and even moments for myself where I read some of those articles when I am hurt and panicky and the advice helps ME, and I'm the author. It's quite alright to need a little advice if you're feeling cornered or upset or just not having a good day.

    So yeah, that love advice really helps the love spells but if you don't use it, they often do just fine as is…unless (as I am known to say,) you chase your target down the street with an axe (or more realistically do something shitty like steal from them, etc.) as you still have to work with the spell not against it.

    Q: I know you say that fast results can be tenuous results but is that always true?

    A: No, but often and since this is most often said to me by very panicked upset broken hearted people who aren't reasonably thinking, I have to say that a few weeks for some of them to calm down might be better just on its own. I've sent people away saying I could not help THIS MONTH merely as they weren't ready, and most who came back thanked me and said I was right that they needed that because they took the month to straighten their head out a bit and feel much better.

    If you WANT it now, that is one thing. If you NEED it to survive (and love is not going to fall under this, though it can feel like that,) like you need to pay rent or eat, that is another. So if you just WANT it right this second, then perhaps you should wisely allow the spellwork to take the time it needs to give you a lasting result. If you'll be on the street in 3 days if you don't pay the landlord, then you go use the stuff that's always fast. 

    The spell takes the time it needs to manifest. If it was close to happening on it's own, or it was not far out of the grasp and well within the petitioner or practitioner's sphere of availability or if the target is exceptionally suggestive, it won't take very long at all usually.

    And for the twenty zillionth time, STOP WORRYING THE WORK TO DEATH. I'd like it if it was normal for most spells to manifest in 48 hours or less, too, but more because the inability of some of you to understand that's not actually average or expected for a manifestation window, and that nagging me has no positive effects (it just pisses me off, and the spell doesn't care since it's not ME, it's a spell,) nor will it speed up your results. Fantasizing, worrying about the problem or people involved, trying to figure out how it might manifest or just hovering over your intended's social media are all forms of this.

    Q: Illustrate even one "Don't pick a fight you can't win" magic battles ever! That crap is from comic books, isn't it?

    A: No. I'll give you three. A man I worked for once was very rude to a reader, and told her off. He'd lost money in the past and I guess was just full of himself, but even I chided him for being rude. Within a week no one could stand him. I couldn't stand him. His own mom couldn't stand him. Everyone just could not stand being around him. I don't know what curse that woman put on him, but it took three weeks to take off, and I assure you, unless things have changed, he learned his lesson to not be so rude to someone who might practice again. He wasn't physically harmed, mind you, but being in his presence was like having someone scrape their fingernails down a chalkboard non stop. Every time he was around you, you just found him beyond irritating to the point of wanting to yell at him or get away from him as long as he was away. I still want that curse because it was a doozy…but not as bad as the next.

    There's a VERY STUPID TREND of using cord cutting to do a break up. It's not a new idea, it's just not one I'd suggest for many reasons. I've never been a fan of this kind of work as it is not even really a great idea if you're one half of the couple outside of a NECESSITY (the bonds of love that tie us are not meant to be severed any more than you are told to chop roots off a plant for its health,) and I mean…abusive situations, and so forth. It's overused. BUT, if you're a "third party" when used to break up a couple, you better be sure neither person in the couple knows magic. One of several of these stories is that a chick had fallen for a guy at her workplace, and she had some Etsy person do a cord cutting between either his wife or long term girlfriend (he's partner of a long while) because he'd been flirting and fooling around with her. Well, his wife/partner/girlfriend just so happened to practice (Bruja or Santeria,) and so she immediately noticed. The girl got pregnant but the affair didn't work out. He kept going back to his wife/partner/girlfriend, so she just assumed spells didn't work (all spells). When the baby was born, it caught itself on the umbilical cord during delivery and died from asphixiation. She never told her lover about the spells she'd done of course, and she never had met the wife/long-term, but she received sympathy flowers from a few people and one had a card from the wife (or she suspects as there was only an initial and it was of the woman's first name as the signature,) that read "Guess you cut the wrong cord." She came to me asking if I'd go after the wife, but given the situation (she did try to break up their household,) and the fact that wifey was clearly a badass, I told her that outright cursing was basically asking for worse, and asking for justice when she was the one who attacked first probably wouldn't bring results. I believe she ultimately gave up going after the woman she tried to displace. That's some pretty stone cold fucking revenge for cutting a cord that wasn't hers to cut, so I can understand why. 

    And lastly, there was a fellow I heard of who was threatening a practitioner's kid and picking specifically on the kid as a parent of a little clique. He was just a loud mouth asshole guy yelling horrible things at adolescent kids and making huge threats, but it got to the point that the spellcaster (who I think was in the provervbial broom closet,) got sick of it because his kid was coming home in tears on the regular, and the last straw was the guy had physically grabbed his child by the shirt collar and terrified the kid. Knowing the man to have some addiction issues in the past, he began to bring those urges back, while also knowing the man had some PTSD from some sort of crazy vehicular accident in his youth, he found an image of one of the people who had died in the accident and made some sort of being (like an eregore) that looked like the dead person to follow this man around and to only be visible to him. Lastly, he asked me about a pepper curse I know (which is why I know the story,) and did that. Within a few months, the man was in a mental hospital, and I can't substantiate this but I'm told he's dead a few years later having immediately intentionally overdosed on pills shortly after getting out of the hospital. 

    Dear readers, I'm not trying to scare you. Those stories range from light smacks to literally people dying, so magic isn't just a toy to play with, or a consequence-free way of getting your every desire. It may not be that you will suffer "bad karma," because the biggest risk is really you knock into something or someone bigger than yourself. You know like texting while driving, you never get hurt until you do. It's always been safe until it isn't. So, like anything else, you need to exercise caution because if you're not prepared to handle a woman or man who feels you insulted them to the point you need to learn a lesson, or that you outright threatened them or someone they love to the point you might not even have a right to exist anymore, then when I say  be judicious in spells cast on other people, please understand, I say this not because I'm judging you for cursing someone or wanting their hot body as much as…at some point you might run into someone meaner than yourself, so be sure you're ready if you do. 

    Q: I can't get my lover to stop cheating! Is there any way I can force their fidelity!?

    A: In theory, but…like I've said before, it this person can't keep it in their pants, – that is to say, they have always been incapable of fidelity, and not just with you – you are more likely to cause them physical injury than keep them sexually faithful, at least for any long term. If that's a deal breaker, you should not stay with them. When you love someone, you have to love them entirely, and that means accepting the bad parts, too. You can't change someone's nature…they just fight it. It's like just because you can put a dry land suit on a fish doesn't mean it will ever enjoy living on land like we do, or if you put on a diving suit that doesn't give you all the powers of a fish…it is your nature to be a land creature and it's nature to live in the sea. Even if you fed a bunny nothing but meat (if you didn't kill the poor thing,) it isn't going to become a carnivore, anymore than a tiger will be vegetarian. So while you may get a person to change a bit, the reality is you aren't going to to make something that is instinctive and normal to them suddenly stop. If you can't take the cheating (and no one blames you if you can't,) find a less sexually promiscuous partner, and let that one go. 

    Hope that was educational! :) 

    ~Cat

     

  • Quick Post about Holiday Hours/Prices and Manifestation during the Holidays

    Hey occulties,

    Please keep in mind that the holidays are a tricky time. Bemoaning "lack of results" might merely be that your target is reacting to the holidays by being stressed or withdrawing. It can speed results as well, but, as a woman who likes not having to repeat myself, the reverse can be true, too. So if you're complaining on the lack of results when you wanted this s*** to manifest last week, damnit, keep in mind that timeframes are going to be wonky until the first of the year or so.

    And that goes with money and job spells too. A lot of people do not hire someone until the New Year, a lot of funds coming to you may surface as presents, and bonuses, or may also happen IN THE NEW TAX YEAR. 

    So, if you're experiencing a bit of a delay on manifestation (I'll admit that rare is it I hear kvetching about fast results, ha ha,) please keep in mind, the holidays are famous for creating a bit of a drag and pull on manifestations just like they are disruptive to our mundane lives too.

    Next – while I've been generous with the discounts during the holidays, because I understand it's an expensive time, please keep in mind, it's also hectic and expensive for me, as well. So, the ten percent pay now discount will end immediately after Christmas. All those nice low priced readings go back to normal cost. If you drag me on anything (meaning you draw out a consultation intentionally to wait to pay,) do not expect a discount. I've been doing this for 20 years and it's quite obvious to me. As we don't plan on leaving to visit family this year (we really can't if we wanted to), I will be off on Christmas Day, but should be MOSTLY AVAILABLE on my regular business hours throughout any other day in December. I am currently not available on Fridays for readings until the first of the year. This means there is very little required of you to dance around my regular business hours. WHAT IS REQUIRED is to please understand I also have postage deadlines, hungry birds, and a household to support, so kindly remember there are no free services, be expedient with payments and minimize the using me as a free therapist on a frequent basis this month if at all possible. ;) 

    AND REMEMBER ALL PRICES RETURN TO NORMAL AFTER CHRISTMAS…however, if you read this far, from Friday Dec 9-til the end of Sunday December 11, you can get a free half hour reading with any 7-day spellcasting purchase (and get ten percent off of the price with that pay now discount,) so please contact me ASAP if interested 🙂

    ~Cat

  • The “Spiritual Body” (sometimes called the “Etheric Body”)

    Hello my dear occulties,

    Today I'd like to discuss a topic which has come up frequently in the last few weeks betwixt myself and many different people (many of which have no contact with each other, so I take this as a sign discuss this with my dearest readers.)

    Now, let's start with stating the obvious, – if you are reading this, you are probably sitting in a machine made of meat and bone and fat, and that thing is called your body. If you are like most (if not all) incarnate (has a body) creatures, you value this meat machine very dearly as it is what keeps you functioning and alive on this plane. You experience physical sensations of pain when you damage it, or overextend it, senses of pleasure when you feed it, or nourish it in any way, or try to reproduce (even with yourself lol) with it. This is because this wonderful machine that your life force (or what you may term your spirit, or your soul,) has been created to ensure you treat it as well as possible so it might run as long as possible (otherwise known as it avoids becoming no longer operable, which means you die when that happens,) and because this machine requires you to help it replicate itself, it is also very good at trying to get you to make more of these machines. So, we all agree that we have a physical body and presumably many of us understand it's basic functions exist to help it stay working as long as possible, while also trying to get us to make more of these bodies for other beings like ourselves to continue on our line. 

    Your body may be faulted or have some defects from birth. There are so many of these, that I can't list all of them. This does not mean that your physical body does not attempt in some way to still run. It's a machine, and missing a few "gears" or "screws" is something it still very much wants to try to overcome. You body may have suffered serious damages – maybe you lost an eye or a leg or an ear. It still wants to run as long as it can, so this does not mean it does not mostly function (and you may even have "phantom pains" sensing the lost part for those missing a body part,) which again, most of my readers would agree this is how this works. Maybe you have had some malfunctions which are comparable to a bug in your program. You have an immunodeficiency that causes you issues, or a cancer, or many other issues which start because something caused the "programming" in your machine to malfunction, and this causes you issues which can range from things you can't detect, to actually completely destroying your body and making it inoperable. Maybe you were born with your "programming" having this malfunction, or perhaps it came after your creation. You may even just have inherited better or worse "versions" of necessary hardware or software – everyone in your family needs reading glasses by age 20, or you all have really short legs, or like me, you don't tan, just burn. Perhaps you are even worried that because you have a particular family issue, that you will make children with the same issue, or because you were exposed to something that your offspring will be in some way handicapped and science has proven there is a good chance of it, so you avoid reproducing to avoid giving your offspring this weakness, ergo ensuring more "perfect human machines" continue on, even if not of your line. 

    Again, we understand that bodies are different, that some age better or worse, or have a higher probability of coming down with a condition and that some people are born disabled, etc. So taking all of this knowledge in, I want you to understand…you also have very similar benefits and issues with your SPIRITUAL BODY. 

    Let us not confuse the spiritual body with an aura. They can look very similar, but your aura is in part the "glow" of your meat machine working. So while the spiritual body can sometimes be seen with the aura, there are people (as scary as this is,) basically walking around with a dead spirit body. That is contested, but I insist it is so. 

    Let me explain that in a bit.

    Your spirit body looks very much like you. In fact it may look just like you. It may look like an older or younger version of you. If you have lost a limb, your spirit body generally still has that limb. If you are beset with a disfiguring condition, it may appear as you without this condition, and if you are at the peak of your beauty, it may look like a disfigured version of you. Why? The spirit body has its own health and its own needs. It very much can and does affect your physical body, just as your physical body can have an effect on it. It can heal faster and easier at times than the physical body, and vice versa. 

    Think of the story of Dorian Grey. If you are unfamiliar with this story, Dorian Grey is a lovely young man who has a portrait done of him at the peak of his beauty. Then Dorian gives into every gross urge of lust and anger and murder and cruelty and for decades – every vice imaginable! But his form never ages a day while the Dorian in the portrait ages terribly with every sin. He hides the portrait away of course, but in the end it is found and destroyed and the physical Dorian becomes the monster in the picture and then himself dies as I remember. This story, written by Oscar Wilde is a good parable about the spiritual body (which the portrait represents) and the physical body wrapped up in a "scary story" for the masses. 

    Please understand, I am a believer that many of our ideas of "proper behavior" are rooted in the times we live in more than what is moral or immoral to the spirit. So if you're wearing pasties and a g string out on the town tonight, I don't know as I believe that has any bearing on your spiritual health although there are people who will think you're an immoral strumpet and trash and all that. You were born naked and I have no belief that clothing has any bearing on the health of your spirit or else you'd be born in clothing. 

    Instead think more like…if you kill someone for fun – not to defend yourself – this is a senseless awful thing which not only harms the species by your destruction of one of our valuable meat machines, but also harms our line as a whole as the spiritual body is quite connected and needs (on our end of things – you may or may not believe that a higher power exists, but for me, I believe God to be the creator of souls,) the couplings that physical body may have made to attach new spirit bodies (or existing ones if you believe in reincarnation) to, and that means you are also committing the same crime on the spiritual plane. The being does not necessarily cease to exist spiritually (again this is all religious/spiritual beliefs that may vary,) but you have stolen from it the option of making more of itself. This crime – killing another being for fun, – may, therefore, affect the health of your spiritual body. It most likely does cause it a fair amount of harm, especially when what you have killed purely for enjoyment is a member of your own species. 

    "But, Cat," you interject, "Only someone with horrible psychological problems does such a thing." Correct! But of course some of those problems are caused by illness in the spirit body, – some inherited through abuse, some inherited by bad actions of the parents, and sometimes acquired through smaller and lesser harmful actions to the spiritual body, much like a bad habit may endanger and even kill the physical body. 

    Have you ever heard the term "sins of the father" – sometimes called "original sin"? This is an interesting thing…basically, it's supposed to mean that I still carry the sin of my parents bumping uglies at birth. Ha! Sex makes babies so sex itself is not really a sin! Both your physical and spirit bodies want to make more of you even if it's not physically possible (for example, a same sex union of cis-gendered people – at least at this writing, – cannot produce a child made from both parents.) However – am I conceived by betrayal? I am not, but for example a woman seeking to end another woman's marriage by taking her husband would have now passed on a spiritual debit to a child born of this union. It's like the spirit equivalent of that mother drinking a gallon of whiskey a day or something. And people can and will get mad at me for saying that, but then they will be people who did that who say it and of course the truth hurts. 😛 This is why when you come to me with break up stuff and all that I always want to check to see if the couple you want broken up is or isn't married (which has zero to do with legally married, as your spirit gives not one fuck about the laws of man,) because if a couple is spiritually married, you are asking something which can cause great harm to yourself as well as any offspring. If you didn't know that your partner was married or even with another, then you would be innocent and the spiritual body receives little or no damage, though, interestingly enough, ergo making the offspring safe from damage. It's amazingly complex and that's just one of many "moral" actions which effect the spiritual body. Each of these is its own topic entirely…and just as biology is sexist and only those of us born with a working uterus get monthly cramps and bleeding similarly there are even issues which only the male or female spiritual body are affected by. 

    Now I'm sure a few of my readers are already having meltdowns and if so, please excuse yourselves from reading further. 😉 The topic of the spiritual body is, in fact, one I've researched and spoken of with people of many spiritual and religious backgrounds, so I have a passion for the topic. Just because you did something that you realize probably got you down with the spiritual sickness, or you just had some religious background that scared you into thinking maybe you did, that's your issue, not ours. I repeat again that much of what our society calls moral or immoral has more to do with culture than with your spiritual health so there is a good chance what is sinful according to a specific religion's teaching really is not bad for your spiritual health. Relax.

    Because there are also spiritual conditions that come on you that cause damage to your spiritual body which are more than likely not your fault at all…nor that of your parents, nor their parents etc. Like depression. This affects both physical you, and spiritual you. This isn't some sort of divine retribution for wrongdoing any time you come down with one of these conditions. However, treating this condition – both physically and spiritually, can permanently change your spiritual health in very positive ways. 

    The best thing for all of us to keep in mind is that the spiritual body is important and has its own health and needs just like our meat machine. So just like if I live off of Doritos for my whole life and eat nothing else then I won't likely live long, so is it that if you do not treat your spiritual body with care, it can also deplete and even die off from too many abuses. It also thrives when we treat it kindly and nourish it…but just like the physical body, we cannot repel all damage just from treating the spiritual body as well as possible. AND always keep in mind that the spirit body and physical body are very tightly linked and if one is sick, the other often can follow and become sick as well. 

    How do we nourish our spiritual body? Well…again, this will sound a bit like dogma but loyalty, and kindness, and helping others, and charity, and all that goody-two-shoes stuff helps. Prayer or recognition of your own blessings if you do not pray, thankfulness and gratitude nourish us. Loving others and being loved can be very nourishing, while losing our loved ones to death or disaster can harm us dearly. Our spiritual bodies connect to others – to our families (which can be – but is not always – parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and of course our children,) or those we truly and deeply love (our partner, our best friend, etc,) which is why there is a pain that always remains when we lose them. If you truly and deeply love anything then you know when it is lost, you never 100% get over it. This is why grief over loss of of a loved one sometimes never ever goes away. It causes the same damage as losing a limb causes to your physical body. You can randomly experience pain like "phantom limb pain" as your spirit body looks for the connection for the rest of your life. But, while that sounds scary, the gift of the love bond itself nourishes your spirit body greatly. So…love both makes us stronger and gives us a wound to our spirit body. 

    Even joy and satisfaction nourish us. So healthy food for your spirit body abounds. 

    But that which will mortally wound and permanently disfigure, or cause long term damage to your spiritual body is also around you. And yes, that's a thing. You can expose yourself to things so negative they can have consequences which impact your offspring for a few generations which we are proving via science this happens to our physical bodies too. For example, those people who survived the prison camps in World War 2 have offspring who displayed a genetic mutation with metabolism from the starvation and stress of the parents in the prison camps, and even the grandchildren of these people have show the SAME MUTATION. My personal belief is that just as we have a physical DNA, so does our spiritual body have some form of DNA. So like probably everyone reading this, I may very well have some natural, inherited spiritual body defects and benefits because my ancestors gave me this gene spiritually. Again, the idea of "sins of the father" affecting the child holds. 

    Keep in mind, this inherited damage may also not be a choice. Just as you may be killed in a vehicular accident wherein no driver involved had any intention to harm, nor was anyone operating their vehicle while intoxicated or while knowing it had known malfunctions (including yourself, of course), so can you accrue damages which are neither your fault nor deserved. The same is true of beneficial conditions. Perhaps you did nothing to "deserve" the boon to your spiritual health, and yet you were fortunate to receive. 

    And what of magic? Well, you know I'm not the karma police. I'm not here to tell you no. I'm not here to tell you yes either. In fact, if I'd punch you right in the face without a shred of guilt to my conscience, I'd probably curse you just as quick and without guilt. Does that make me spiritually diseased? My experience is that most spellcasters who successfully curse do so because the target is a piece of fucking shit. The target is not just asking for it, they are antagonizing the spellcaster or harming someone or something that he or she loves. The spellcaster isn't splitting up a marriage to steal away the partner for selfish gains. The spellcaster is not harming innocents. They are not just doing it to feel powerful. It's much more comparable to having a neighbor who keeps slapping your kid for just playing in your own yard, and punching that neighbor for the attacks on your child than trying to harm someone to steal something from them or to make yourself more powerful. So if you accrue damage spiritually from cursing, you are much more like to have done so because your actions are wholly selfish or unjust. 

    And what if you were born to awful people? Is that your fault? Nope, that goes back to sins of the father. If your parents both come from a long line of bullshit people and conceived you into that line of DNA, what results might be compared to a physical deformity or unhealthy body or a disability of grand proportions despite you looking physically just fine. If you were given a decrepit spiritual body, you can nourish it and strengthen it, but yes, you may have a much harder time than some of your peers. It means you have to work extra hard. And the real kick in the butt is that you don't deserve that, and it may make you bitter, which in turn will warp that spiritual body – your bitterness is a poison to it. 

    I'm just touching on this but I hope it's gotten some of you thinking. See, when a lot of you worry about "karma" (which has nothing to do with that which you do in this life effects you in this same life like some of you believe,) what you should worry about is "will this affect my spiritual health?" (which some of you mean but wrongly understand.) The answers are often that, at worst, it might give it a bruise that will heal rapidly but there are situations where you really may hurt yourself or possibly even generations of your line. So, I think this is a good topic to get people really thinking of the impact of their actions. 

    And it's also a good thing – you might be able to heal damage to yourself and help your physical body heal faster (they constantly impact each other,) by merely understanding more about your spiritual body's health. 

    Now I did mention above that I would discuss a very odd thing that can happen. Your spiritual body can – from what I can tell, – die with your physical body not dying. I'd swear I've even seen a few people with it. It's as if they "have no soul." I can think of one person in particular that I'd bet you money this person has no soul and yet physically they look rather healthy. Their actions bespeak a person who could not retain a spirit body. They come from a long line of people who spiritually are garbage from the history I know of them (it's not anyone widely known). I've never met another worker who when shown this person's image wasn't physically revolted, (and while not an attractive person, they are not so physically ugly as to cause revulsion), and so people with spiritual training are literally reacting as many of us do when we see maggots eating a corpse…which tells me they are spiritually revolting…if not just spiritually dead, this person is spiritually a gangrenous leper. And yet, while not an attractive person by any stretch of the imagination, still physically healthy with said unattractiveness not arising from physical illness of any kind. So, what exactly is this person? If the spirit is dead how then does the meat machine yet function and they remain intelligent enough to speak because the brain hasn't rotten…it even reasons… And there is more than one of these on the world. I don't know the singular dead alive thing in this world, and would tell you this isn't even likely as uncommon as you'd like to think. Serial killers are probably these things. A few seemingly nice normal people? They are these things. I don't know exactly what they are as it makes no sense that they physically live, but my best guess is they are a bit like malignant disincarnate spirits. Much like disincarnate spirits (malignant, beneficial, or neither bad nor good,) have greater power in the spiritual world than many of us physical beings can expect to have but have no or little physical power (so many have a hard time moving a light or small physical object,) so do these creatures seem to possess very little power spiritually and yet tend to give suffering to those they claim to care about the most – so they are not powerless. They may also possess great physical strength but they are very destructive creatures even if physically weak. They attack those closest to them, they isolate them, and try to survive off of them. My guess is that they are spiritual vampires of sorts and the physical body continues to survive by them draining and perverting the spiritual energy of those who they claim to "love." They are incapable of love judging from my observation of the handful I've come across, but they call possessiveness love. They really are repugnant and I've seen more than one albeit there is one which I've seen the most up close, and it's proven every theory I've had of their kind. So, if you find one of these, do not make friends. They seem rather charming at first. Much like any predatory thing, the charm is so it can feed. You soon realize it's a spiritual vacuum, but often too late and after it has taken so much of your spiritual health and energy. Maybe it even has you convinced you can't survive without it. You'll thrive without it.

    You can laugh at that, but I've had a small share of clients who endured a relationship with one of these. They are not psychic vampires – that's someone who is just draining – they are something else entirely. BUT do not fear…they lack a spiritual body (or if they have one, it is so damaged and small as to be undetectable,) so if they are not feeding they are easily bested as they can't do magic without a healthy amount of spiritual energy, and even if currently acting parasitic on another is giving them some energy, their energy isn't their own and doesn't properly transmute, meaning….their magic sucks on it's best days and often blows up in their face. 😀 I am sure I will get some emails from people worried that they are these things… Look, they are rare. It's unlikely. If you've been a good person and have avoided obviously deeply immoral or hurtful actions (so you don't kill for pleasure, or break up happy homes, or hurt children or the weak or small animals because you're bored,) it's very unlikely. But yeah, I also find it scary that something spiritually dead can be physically alive, especially when in most people if they are very spiritually damaged, the physical body soon breaks down as well. It is scary, but all fictional monsters were borne from the real ones, so just avoid one of these things if you suspect you've come across one. You'll be fine.

    Anyhow, that's enough on this topic for today. I will try to post a new spell article soon! 

    ~Cat

  • Done Moving!

    Hey everyone,

    I’ve completed the moving process as of last night. Readings, consultations, spells and everything are all back to their regular availability and prices! 

    ~Cat

  • Moving and Bullsh*t Related There-to

    Hey kids,

    After months of not really having a solid address thanks to the situation created by AirBnB's in my area, we finally have settled in somewhere. As I'm sure some of you are like "Wait, haven't you been moving since July?" The answer is yes we have, and yes it's taken us this much effort, albeit, I became exhausted by the process for a month or so, and so that didn't help. For months I have been paying so much money to survive as we were forced to pay ridiculous prices just to stay in a hotel room…which with 2 adults and three parrots is not exactly something I can recommend. I could have rented out three luxury condos for the cost, except not luxury condos here in the Portland area because I am not close to a multimillionaire. Finally that horrifying reality is going to be behind us soon, but since nothing is ever easy, there is A METRIC FUCKTON of moving to do, and on a holiday week (I have always despised Thanksgiving and stuff like this makes me hate it more,) which means what should have been 2-3 hours of work at most has become an outrageous amount of work that I get to do all by myself..and this is the THIRD TIME I've moved in two years, so, for someone like myself who would live in a horrible place merely to avoid the stress of moving, as you might imagine, it's been rather trying…especially as I don't have a car, and Maine in the winter is a really shitty time to figure out how to transport 3 tropical birds on a good day. 😛

    So, I'd like to apologize. I've been taking extra time I did not expect to take during this move. I know several people wanted to talk this week and many of them are my international clients who likely do not realize that Thursday is a mega holiday in my country that has been fucking up my life since the day I was born and in multiple ways (fuck you, you stupid fucking food holiday,) but also realized several people might not know I am moving to begin with.

    However, I also realize many people don't understand unhelpful and tedious behaviors (which are common,) are going to make everything just more difficult and saddle even more work and responsibility unnecessarily on my already-overburdened self, so I'd like to point out the following: 

    If everyone consistently contacts me with the dreaded "how are things?" and "how did it go?" emails, all you do is delay important emails to take up my time, and basically unintentionally nag me. I realize that isn't the intention, but in almost 20 years of business, if something newsworthy happened, you'd be the second to know since I would be the first. When I answer with my usual answer to that unfortunate question, I usually get some response clearly disappointed that I don't have some wild claim of like levitating and shooting fireballs out of my butthole, and the reality is this is all pretty standard stuff after 3 decades of doing spells… I am doing a job I've done more or less every day for almost 20 of the 30+ years I've been casting spells, and frankly, I am not a bright-eyed neophyte who has to excitedly exaggerate the smallest detail to myself and others to feel important, but rather a hardened adept who has seen and experienced enough to find such exaggeration and drama tedious and unnecessary. I feel that sort of obvious attempt to romanticize and dramatize the whole thing to be a sad cheap bid at entertaining the uneducated, ergo why I do not personally do the same. If that sort of thing is what you wanted, you should know at this writing there are a fair amount of people on Etsy who offer that sort of entertainment and call it spellwork, and they charge less than the charge you get for real spellwork and no drama. You go with what you prefer. HOWEVER, please hold back on the "How did it go" and "how are things?" emails as I am not going anywhere so there is no need to check up on me, whilst also not ever really appreciating the drag on my time repeating the same line as someone clearly did not read the TOS to be asking that. I appreciate that you are excited and/or nervous, but this means taking 15 minutes out of my day to reply to you that I may need on what is already a very tight schedule, especially this week, as the move is not helping free up time. 

    PLEASE TRY TO AVOID SCHEDULING LIVE TIME WITH ME UNTIL FRIDAY, NOV 25, AND REMEMBER I WILL NOT BE IN THE OFFICE ON NOVEMBER 29 so I cannot do readings or get on the phone that day. I realize I had big ideas and went and booked a few appointments thinking I'd have this done already, so if you booked and need to keep the booking, I will not cancel with you. LIVE TIME IS READINGS, PHONE CONVERSATIONS, AND ONE ON ONE INTERACTIONS WHICH REQUIRE AN APPOINTMENT, HOWEVER EXCESSIVE EMAILS ALSO ARE GOING TO FALL UNDER THIS UMBRELLA FOR A FEW DAYS. Keep in mind, I have a few specific times set aside to be available to do all of my calls and a fair amount of replies. Guess what? It's also when a lot of this moving just ended up falling into being the most convenient for those who are helping us. My schedule is always very tight and right now, if I have to block off that five hours for possible moving transports, then I will. As above, emailing me all of the time is really abusive as is, despite it rarely being the intention. There are days that because a few people needed me to talk them off of a proverbial ledge, I am finding myself with 2 hours of sleep, and no time for my better half. Right now because I depend on the help of others (and Uber) to get this done as I don't drive or own a car, you can imagine that asking me to encourage you for an hour while I'm lugging a bunch of stuff around or fighting an angry parrot to get back in it's cage is not going to be something that should be required of me outside of life or death situations. TL:DR, no readings for a few days, and my replies might be a bit slow.

    For the love of all things holy and unholy, please follow the freakin' rules. In the last four days, I've had people literally brag in a few cases about how they broke my rules without realizing they totally did break them. Having no time to comfort someone while they became upset for ignoring/not reading the TOS and having me point it out gently (yes, people still get upset), I just didn't say anything, but I do make a note of such things. If you like my services, you probably should follow the rules. 

    Lastly DO NOT GET A CONSULTATION WITHOUT BEING READY TO GET THE SERVICE. Moving is EXPENSIVE, and it's a bit like making me work for free when I got nothing to spare right now. If you're dealing with a budget, (which I completely relate to at the moment,) you can just tell me that even though I don't hide my rates or have any hidden charges. Please DO NOT take anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours if you have no intention of making the purchase shortly thereafter. Maybe I'll say no or you'll decide the available options do not suit your needs, and that's fine and I won't hold it against you, but you shouldn't ever be getting a consultation without the idea in mind that you will get the service, and so should we come to an agreement, you should be ready to purchase within a day or two of the consultation and no later. 

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME READING THIS… I have to go wrestle some angry parrots and move more of our things. HOPEFULLY we will be done soon! But in the meanwhile, keep in mind while I am happily accepting new business, that readings and other live time may be limited for a few days. 

    ~Cat 

  • “Why are you picking a stupid fight you can’t win?” and “Why can’t you stop bringing up old shit!?” = Mars Retrograde at it’s finest

    Hey Occulties,

    You would never have had to show me a chart to tell me it's Mars retrograde because as the title would tell you, the weaker-minded and more easily-influenced, the intellect-deprived, and the drama-lovin' stalkers are all out en masse picking fights they can't win or stirring up old ones they never settled. It's Mars retrograde, and that means some people are going to get their asses kicked, but is it ever positive? Because normally you know me, I'll enlighten you to how it can be positive. 

    I mean…I do refer to it as "global PMS," as it kind of reminds me of just that. People are shorter tempered, many seem to not be able to let things go, and during a stressful season like the holidays, admittedly, it is more unpleasant because people are already stressed. I personally think the best part of Mars retrograde is the part where something disputed which you left unsettled has a stronger chance of being settled, although that can be really stressful on the conflict-avoidant among us. It can effect health and also libido (which are related obviously) so it might have a positive effect on that though it could also negatively impact either. Hmmm… it's a good time to buy used cars… It brings exes back but the big 3 of retrogrades (Mercury, Venus, Mars) all do. 

    When we think of a retrograde, we need to remember a retrograde is revisiting, reviewing, and reworking things that fall under the sphere of influence of the planet which is retrograde. So Mars rules war, fighting, etc…and to a lesser extent, lust – BUT (and please take this into account) lust in the sexual sense is a lower urge that often carries greed (lust for material gains) and anger (lust for blood,) as well as other nasties with it when not worked with carefully and properly. If you've worked magic long enough you probably know someone who did a little overkill with red magic and had a huge fight with their beloved. Mars rules some aspects of health, iron, steel, and metal devices (including weapons) are ruled by mars, so I guess it's a great time to review your armory, get a health check up, and make sure your guns and knives are all in working order, while you revisit that spat you had with that person down the street…Hmm, well maybe you shouldn't go that far, ha ha.

    It isn't Saturn retrograde where the problems that come out of that are what choices and contracts did you make that you now must hold to or very carefully release yourself from? Saturn retrograde has it's ability to really mess up people's obligations towards those in their lives (it's literally like a global midlife crisis – I would assume statistically this is when most men run off for a few months with a woman way too young for them, only for most to return crying to wifey when Saturn goes direct which it did almost a month ago.) This is more like..what fights did you pick in the past which were important enough that one or both parties are still very much concerned about the matter. Like not all things get settled with more fighting. I might still feel wronged about a situation, but more willing to discuss it and compromise. It does mean if you have a long standing beef, it (and the other party) may come up in the next several weeks. None of this is guaranteed to happen, though, so don't just assume that someone's going to demand justice for some deep dark wrong you've done because Mars is retrograde.

    If you've already been looking over your shoulder, though, stay alert. And as far as your health, keep a close eye on long standing problems, as well as new symptoms. Be careful in motor vehicles as well during this time, and while it's common sense, be very careful around firearms as well. 

    For most of us, the only noticeable impact of Mars Retrograde is everyone seems a little more cranky, though, so don't scare yourself thinking something bad will happen.

    ~Cat

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me, November 2022 edition

    Hey occulties,

    Time for another version of Questions You've Asked Me, where I publicly post answers to some questions I've received.

    Q: I feel like I've accumulated spiritual gunk or that I'm hexed – what do I do?

    A: First please know that I write an occult blog and I work with other occultists, and the amount of times someone has tried to hex me is small, and the amount of times someone succeeded is even smaller (because I have protections in place) but if that's so when I am in a position where more people are apt to view me as a target, then the likelihood someone has cursed you in some way is terribly small. So, that's good! But it's more common to accumulate spiritual gunk – think of this like just because I didn't fall in a mud puddle today, it doesn't mean my body didn't get dirty just from living. I've sweated, I've had dust kick up, etc. Spiritual gunk is similar, you sort of get a residue from the energies you encounter and it can make your etheric body feel weighed down. The easiest fix is a salt bath. Pour salt in a hot bath, place your right hand over the water, say the 23rd psalm (the Lord is my shepherd), and then get in the tub, immerse yourself, then stand and wash down (head to feet.) I usually just drain the tub and take my regular shower after even though traditionally one should air dry themselves. This is definitely not going to solve being hexed – it's more to cleanse off light amounts of spiritual detrius. HOWEVER most of my readers realize it's all that they need.

    If you feel like you've really been hexed or someone is working on you, you can always contact me. I'm glad to help judge if this is the problem. However, from that standpoint you should keep in mind that not all hexes can be reversed similarly. Your standard low-level lay-person practitioner will likely use something that is just as easily taken off as it was to put it on. However, someone who really knows what they are doing probably isn't throwing curses out lightly, and you either attacked them or they perceived you as an attacker coming after them or someone under their protection, and they will not be as apt to use something easily taken off, or will use something that if you don't know how to take it off, it might actually cause greater damage to try to use alternate methods. 

    The problem you will run into is that it's a great big old scam to tell you that you are cursed – and them the charlatan says "And it will only cost ten thousand dollars and a trip to Tahiti and for you to send all of your money to me to be cleansed to remove the horrid curse upon ye!!" The amount of times I've actually had a person in my inbox complaining of a curse and they really were cursed is very small. I don't know if I see this condition even once per year. I feel badly telling people that they are cursed when they are because scammers tell people this every single day and it's so rarely true. I'm glad to tell you if you are or are not cursed 100% free of charge, however time is a precious resource I have very little of and I can't give you personalized solutions as that would be a formidable amount of unpaid work. What I will say is if you are hexed or if you are not likely hexed, and you can always see our old friend Karma Zain over at SeraphinStation.com for her Jinx-Killer bath which will take off a fair amount of negative spiritual conditions (and is cheaper than employing me,) or you can take the above mentioned salt bath, or even get a bath out of Draja Mickaharic's book Magical Baths and make it yourself. I'm also glad to be hired for help, but as there are many solutions that do not require it of me, I figured I'd offer a few others as well. 🙂

    Also try to remember a few simple rules to avoid getting hexed at all:

    First and foremost don't pick fights with anyone bigger and badder than yourself (magically and socially speaking) if you can avoid them. I realize David fought Goliath and won, but in most cases if you pick a fight with Goliath, you'll be a getting scraped off of the proverbial pavement. I've seen it go down a fair number of times where someone picked a fight with the wrong person and paid dearly, but you know, it's not like the attacker made any public spectacle or fired a warning shot in every case, so you may never see the return blow coming your way until you're hit. I know some occultists I would strongly recommend you do not fuck with, and they would totally fuck you up and thensome, but they are rarely the ones you need to worry about picking a fight with. Unless you do something stupid like try to wreck their marriage, or their job, or go after their family in some way, they will probably see you as annoying and not even bother with your petty trivial bullshit. They'll nerf your attack and you won't be able to do much to them. It's the people who are probably at about your level who are going to be the ones who really size you up and go in for a fight. So how do you avoid that? I would say be a good person and don't attack people. So don't break up relationships or ruin marriages, don't get people fired from their jobs, don't steal their money or valuables, don't attack their families, don't talk a bunch of gossip or lie about someone, and don't throw spells around like Yosemite Sam shooting his guns off and you'll be just fine. 

    Second thing is be able to identify a spellcaster. There's a lot of them out there. You can usually pick them out and while most are incredibly low-level at what they do, sort of like hobbyists at it, it's still someone who if you cross them or upset them might come after you, and so if you break the first rule, you can have some better idea as to where the attack might come from, although plenty of people who don't know spells employ people who do, so that's not always helpful. Heck, an old spellcaster trick is to get your spellcaster friend to curse for you so that anyone saying your attacks get reflected is uselessly trying to deflect an attack because you're not the one attacking. If I'm not the one throwing a punch, trying to block my punches doesn't prevent the guy behind you from clubbing you in the head, so it's similar with spellcasting…you would not block the curse. 

    Third, keep some spiritual protection on you at all times. Remember, an amulet is meaningless and will not help you if you have no faith in it, so just wearing a cross is not likely to protect an atheist. You don't need to believe in any religion, but you would be well advised to find some being you do believe and have faith as being capable of protecting you spiritually. That's not up to me to tell you who or what that is. It's going to be something that's different from person to person. Once you have found this protector, or protection, you should wear an amulet or talisman representative of said protector at all times. This is enormously helpful in repelling spiritual attack, especially from the armchair spellcaster set. :) 

    Q: How important is the Moon in regards to spellcasting?

    A: That isn't a one size fits all answer, unfortunately. Jake Stratton-Kent has spoken before about how there are different aspects to different spirits when one takes into account varying astrological occurrances, so the St Michael Archangel you call to you in one hour of one specific day of one specific year is not necessarily a different St Michael Archangel a week later at a different time of day and hour etc, but rather is a different aspect of this being. This means you might have called the protector one day, and then the warrior the next. And I can say I've found certain spirits to behave differently at different times of day, but to also be more active and lively at different times of year, and it does seem to correspond to where they are said to come from (ie East, West, North, South,) as well what planet correspondence some have (ie if they are solar, lunar, mercurial, venusian, martial, jovial, etc.) so while I certainly can't say this with the authority JSK has on the topic (being that his knowledge would outweigh my own,) I can back up that this seems to hold weight. So clearly, the moon might have a very strong impact on spirit conjure and working with spirits…

    And then you get to what if you have a relationship with them. Again, the above would hold weight because the behaviors can be noticeably different, but then…many venusian spirits also tend to dislike bad weather which isn't astrological and there are spirits who hate noise, and those that hate bad smells or love bad smells, or hate the indoors…all of this meaning you're dealing with a being that does have preferences and a personality, and when you get to know it well enough it develops a sort of bond with you and it does not seem to me that spirits are necessarily barred from making contact regardless of the moon or seasons. It seems more like the astrology part is like office hours for contacting them.

    Now when we talk about like love spells, or money spells or etc, it's not something one can't work around. You know I do prefer to work using the proper planet hours and planet days, and the right solar cycle as well as proper moon cycle, but if you're just starting out, you should be most worried about getting the spell right. Use a solar cycle if you can't use a lunar (ie dawn to noon is like 1st and 2nd quarter, and noon to sunset is 3rd, 4th quarter,) but keep in mind because the lunar cycle takes longer, it is a bit stronger than just a solar cycle in regards to how much power it adds. 

    If the spell you are trying to work goes on and on and on about the importance of any planet cycle, you may as well stick with it. I'm all for learning how to do something right before you just put on your creative hat and hurt yourself (which is all too often the consequence of the bad advice of "do what your intuition tells you when you're hugely inexperienced and know nothing," gets you.) 

    Is it so important it can't be worked around? Usually not. Do you know several ways to work around it (name at least three without looking in a book or online or etc,)? If you know how to work around the moon cycles without having to mind them much you likely wouldn't ask me the question, so it isn't so end-all, be-all as many people make it out to be. However, if you need to ask this question, it's probably pretty important you learn how to use lunar cycles properly and why and how you use them in spellcasting. 

    TL:DR – It IS something you should learn, but probably not worth a meltdown if you cast a spell in the wrong moon quarter. 

    Q: How long do you need to spellcast for a thing you want before you know it is time to give up or that your spells haven't worked? Is there like a suggested time limit?

    A: This falls under a pretty common "how long is this going to take" question that I've answered and everyone hates the answer because the only honest answer is "as long as it needs to." Even I hate that answer. And of course there's always the caveat that it may never work. That's not as common as you fear…it's just sometimes it works when you could give not one shit about the thing you'd so wanted not but a month before…and now here it is in your life. Oh, boo. I've even had situations where something manifested and I didn't know until a few years later (and I mean it didn't take a few years, I just legit forgot I did it, and then the target of whatever spell I did told me all about the effects at some way later date and I thought "Oh yeah, I forgot I did that," whilst they recounted this story to me,) so…you know, it's not unheard of to deal with a manifestation that doesn't suit a nice comfy time frame. Are you counting the days? If not, good. Did you put a death clock on the manifestation? If not, good. If you can let it go and push the situation out of your mind it should take *ON AVERAGE* anywhere from 1-5 weeks. If you haven't seen any results in three months, *ON AVERAGE* that means there is about a 65-75% chance it did not work.

    While that is the answer some of you were seeking, some of you are more asking me "Am I throwing myself at something that will never come to be." Look, there are times something isn't yours to have or you think you want someone but you want the to be something they aren't, or you want to stay at a bad job because it's familiar, not because it's good, etc. I am glad to try to give you an OPINION if I think that's what is going on in your life, but it's not my place to tell you to give up. I will tell you if I think you are devoted to a cause that is not what you think it is but you need to decide if you want to keep trying. 

    I say this a lot, but some people cling to love relationships because they don't want to lose or for the wrong reasons. Don't stay together for the kids (you'll mess them up more,) don't have a baby to save the relationship (it won't, and you'll probably just mess that kid up,) but most people know that advice. If they cheated on their spouse to be with you, they won't stay with you is another one everyone knows (also never get involved with someone else's partner as your value plummets and they won't stay but the impact they have on your social value remains forever)… But the big one people forget is…just because you weren't ready to break up with someone and you both broke up doesn't mean they are the one who got away. When I was a younger woman, I couldn't stand being broken up with, so I'd bring the guy back and then I'd be like "He's really not my type," and after all that work to bring him back, I'd leave him two weeks after he came back. I've seen a fair share of clients do that, too. It's probably a third of reconciliation cases where it's just the client wasn't ready for the break up so now they want what they feel was unfairly taken from them. This isn't every reconciliation case (I get a glut of emails with people terrified it is every time i say this,) because I've seen plenty of cases where it is not the case (2/3 of them, probably, are not just someone wasn't ready to break up,) and you know you can have a relationship that looks like bullshit on the surface that is a lot more, but you know, you need to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you need them back. Why is it you want them to stay. What are the odds you need to battle to keep them with you. But at the end of the day, you are the one who has to decide when you've tried enough to get this person to be in your life or come back to it and you give up. 

    If you keep trying and nothing is happening months and months later, you need to assess your goals and see if you need to alter them. That's true with job spells, with love spells…with most anything, but the one people tend to most get stuck on is how long do I work on a person before I give up. To find the answer you need to assess how you came together, how the relationship has progressed and if you are sticking with something because it's familiar or because you want something that can't come to be, or you just hate losing. 

    Hope that is some help and doesn't create drama. 

    Q: If you're so pissed about chargebacks, why not just do a money spell and have more money?

    A: Let's say I pay you $100 to wash my car. You wash the car while I'm at home and while I don't see you do it, I come out to a washed car. Then 2 weeks later when you have paid several bills and have $32.50 in your account, with absolutely no warning, I decide you did a bad job, and so I debit your account $150. I never asked for a refund, and I didn't warn you I wanted one. I just take it, and it's more than you were ever paid to wash the car. I don't account for the cost of the materials you used to wash the car, either. I just steal from you. This is essentially what a chargeback is. It doesn't matter if you have $9000 in your account and can cover it. It's outright theft and costs the victim well more than what you stole. The most recent cunt I posted about a day or two ago has at this writing racked up fees and fines of over $2000 just because it was stolen at just the right moment. I think the financial snowball has stopped but I'll expect over $2000 if this person wishes to speak to me again because they are due all damages caused by their theft. 

    However that should illustrate to you why it makes anyone angry. You literally do the equivalent of theft. And then you do not think about the fines and fees associated because you steal more than you get back. And you may have made serious consequences you don't know about because you didn't have the spine to speak to the merchant. 99 out of 100 chargebacks should end with the person who did the chargeback getting a hand cut off for theft. If you paid for something willingly, you shouldn't get a forced refund in most cases, especially if you did not exhaustively try to contact the merchant. That doesn't mean one day you didn't get a reply, it means like you told them several times (so well more than 2) that you were unhappy and needed to speak to them. I will assure you, almost every merchant will work with the unhappy customer to make them happy, but zero of them will work with a thief. 

    So…I'm more pissed that the person is a thief than I am about the money. It really comes down to that. It means some chickenshit with no brains and no guts stole from me, and all because they were too slimy and spineless to literally just talk to me, and now there's a good chance I have to make an example out of them. 

    Keep in mind, certain pay processors don't let you know that this is what a "dispute" comes down to, and so you are literally ignorant to what a piece of shit action you have made. The way to avoid this is literally TALK TO THE MERCHANT EXHAUSTIVELY because otherwise you may very well just be nothing more than absolute garbage and basically stealing because you got mildly annoyed someone didn't reply to your email fast enough or forgot to add glitter to your Etsy order or shipped something a day later than expected, or something equally trivial.

    It's not the money, it's the thievery. If I want money, I don't go steal it out of the pockets of people I paid for a good or service, – I go earn it. I recommend my method since stealing can come with some pretty bad consequences.

    Q: Will a fertility spell give me a baby when I have no uterus but have ovaries?

    A: No, you require a womb to grow a baby in but you might use a fertility spell on a surrogate mother when implanting embryos. 

    Hope this was educational! If you need to find me you know where to find me! 

    ~Cat

  • Cat Teaches You How to Deal with Chargeback Creeps

    Hey occulties,

    So, some readers asked do I do anything special to fraudsters who attempt chargebacks, and the answers there may surprise you. For many years, I honestly did not really do much. There have always been scammers but the vast majority were just psychos and at the time PayPal protected sellers better and that was all I used for many years, so it was a headache to lose money for a day or so, but the clown attempting theft was left with no refund either way. But some years ago this absolute cunt went and paid me half of what the cost of the service was, never paid the other half, charged me back, and then had the audacity to thank me as the spell was manifesting wonderfully…and the chargeback method she used, despite my having proof she had lied and stolen, was apparently beyond PayPal's means to retrieve my half-paid sum (I realized I'd never get the other half.) I'd had enough. So now, yeah, I definitely have some measures in place and not just those nifty HUGE FINES you will pay for being a lowlife thief who just did the same thing as stealing money out of my pocket. 

    So, keep in mind, once you invite a person to cast a spell on you, you give away all or most protections against them working on you, and that's not all… There is also a reason in Hoodoo why we expect to be paid for our work, because to not pay us would leave you in debt to us in a spiritual fashion and it is considered "bad luck" by some Hoodooists to not give some form of payment for the service rendered or that it will leave you vulnerable to the person who cast the spell…as you are now in debt to them and they may collect however they see fit. So what do you think STEALING from a Hoodooist you paid to do work does? 

    And like I said, I took some measures out in my own work that will cancel the work and actively turn into a curse if someone does a chargeback. So if you wanted me to do a success spell for you, and you're succeeding nicely in your job, then you think you'll just steal that payment back, you will suddenly find yourself being detested by your boss and looking at losing your job. Wanted that ex back? Everything was getting back together and now you take that money back, and find when you get home that your ex packed all their stuff into a UHaul while you're at work. This is something I put on most workings now. It's insurance. If you try to harm me, all that was done for you turns against you. And keep in mind, the working is for MALICIOUS intents, not someone had a bank error or their card was stolen and it reversed the payment to me by mistake, – it only works on someone who stole or intentionally broke contract.

    But I realize not everyone is casting spells for a living, and I wanted to bring you something easy that you can do if you get a little fraudster chargeback scumbag of your own. It's not that hard to do. You will need the person's full name and some personal details that might be difficult if you work at say, a hardware store or something (and there is a good reason only five people on this planet – two of them related by blood, two by former marriage, and one by being my awesome life partner and possibly by marriage soon, – know my real total full name, – it gives someone great power over you,) but people tend to be very careless with personal information, so I bet you can find it out.

    You will need:
    Pieces of broken mirror
    Nine nails
    Nine pins
    Nine needles
    Dog poop*
    Red pepper
    Lemon juice
    A jar
    Black candles
    The receipt or invoice for the charged back service
    The chargeback notice
    An image or personal item from the target
    Death Unto My Enemy or Black Arts oil
    Intranquility Oil
    Patchouli Leaf
    A red-inked marker or pen (not water soluble, – I strongly recommend Sharpies)
    Black thread or black electrical tape

    Take your receipt and your chargeback notice (clearly you will need to print this out,) and write the target's full name on each nine times, saying "(Full name of target,) until you return this money to me, I curse you and destroy you and multiply the curse's power each day three times three times three," with each time you write the target's name out, so that will be nine times for each item, a total of eighteen times. Across this write, "cursed until my money is returned to me," nine times on each document, and as you write it (or right after you write it if that is easier) each time, say "Just as St Dismas was forgiven at the crucifixion when he repented his evils, so will you be freed when you return my money to me, (full name of target,) but shall have no rest nor any peace until you return that which you have stolen from me." Now place the documents on on top of the other, and place the target's personal item in the center. Add a few drops of each of your oils into the center of the pile. Liberally sprinkle patchouli and red pepper over them and then fold them up all together as tightly as possible and wrap them in the black thread or tape, wrapping away from you, not towards. place this into the jar, then dropping your pins and needles and nails into the jar in threes (so you will say this a total of nine times,) say "(Full name of target,) until you return this money to me, I curse you and destroy you and multiply the curse's power each day three times three times three," each time as you drop a set of three nails/pins/needles. Add patchouli leaves and red pepper and a bit of doggy poo, and broken mirror shards, and as you add these items I usually ad lib this part but it is slightly complicated because I will say some specific things which are important to the working, but would also require my readership to have relationships with specific entities so instead you might say something like** "(Name of Target,) who (name of mother,) bore, who came into this world on the day of (birthdate,) and who now lives at (address,) your life stinks of shit, any attack you send to me is now reflected back and even the iron in you blood turns sharp as knives with the hounds of hell forever at your heels until your cursed self return the money you have stolen from me. You are hated and reviled and all you love turns against you until you repay the debt for the money you have taken from me having failed to get my consent to have it given." Now you pour in lemon juice to fill it, and you cap the jar. Shake the jar nine times and say "(full name of target,) return the money stolen from me!" each time you shake that jar.

    Now comes the fun part and I bet you thought that was the fun part. :) 

    Anoint a candle with Intranquility and DUME or Black Arts oil, and secure this to the lid of your jar using some drippings from the candle (this is to be repeated every Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday until you are repaid or you just get sick of cursing the everloving fuck out of this person because, trust me, it's going to hurt a long, long time even if you get bored of hurting them,) and allow the candle flame to stabilize. Now hold your hands on either side of the candle and say "(Full name of Target) who (mother's name) bore on the day of (birthdate) who lives at (address,) I curse you until you return that which you stole from me, I curse you until you repent and return that which you have taken from me, and this curse comes stronger with each passing minute you wait to return what is mine, and you shall never be released from it having any attempt to remove it to only make it reflect stronger upon you, only to be released from this as St Dismas was redeemed when he repented his ill deeds, then when you have returned my money, so shall you be released from this curse, but not before. As is my will, so be it!!" Allow the candle to burn itself out and clear off the wax drippings when it has done so. 

    Keep in mind, this is a real doozy of a curse. This isn't something to go out and do over like $5 or something. It's very very very harsh. It also isn't really effective for money OWED. It's for money taken from you. So if I borrow ten million trillion dollars from you, and then I don't pay you back, this isn't that I stole the money from you, I did not take it unwillingly out of your account. This only works when the money has been unwillingly taken from you. If you paid it over and expected it back, that's another spell entirely. If you bought something and didn't like it and wanted a refund you also would need a different spell. This is for thieves.

    I'm sure there will be questions so feel free to contact me here – and if the page is down then I probably am moving hosts and it will be back up in an hour or two. :) 

    ~Cat

    *Preferably strange dog poo, not your dog's poo. While it shouldn't hurt the dog who left the poo where the poo is whatsoever to use this poo, when I curse, I do not use anything from my own animals.

    **This is why I said you need to know a lot about the person, as you want to really call the spirits surrounding where they are. I am thinking you could possibly omit the mother's name in these parts but you will want an address, a total full name, and a date of birth.

  • Winter Is Coming

    Hey everyone,

    While I'm not entirely surprised with the global economy as it is, it would seem that the dead season has come early. Allow me to explain what I mean.

    Most years of my business, the time between Thanksgiving (the last Thursday in November, usually,) and about Martin Luther King day (the second Monday in January generally,) I get a lot less PAYING business. This means I still work an ungodly amount of hours, but my income goes down to a ridiculously small speck because no one wants to pay for anything whilst others pre-bought work and I am called to do that. People will keep me quite busy, trust me – the holidays make them depressed, – but I will have at least 2 weeks or more in that time where I am lucky if I gross $500 and I didn't say net, I said gross, meaning that's my full earnings before bills are paid or restock is purchased. 

    This is uncomfortable in any year, but with Future Mr NinjaCat's spine operation still not having happened and me being the sole earner until it does happen and he recovers, plus with our moving woes, it's going to be really really tight. I ask that you please be considerate, do not mess up your work and then want me to fix it with no cost to yourself, as honestly, unless I have an unexpectedly amazing dead season that isn't dead at all, isn't going to mean I have the extra supplies on hand to just throw something on the altar because you got too drunk at the office holiday party and chased your crush around and scared them off just as the work was trying to manifest. 

    This DOES NOT mean that if you pre-bought anything that the purchase won't be honored, – if you pre-purchased any service, you can request it at any time. It is more an advisory that the coffers are not going to be full whatsoever, so expecting little free extras as certain clients seem to is not like to happen. 

    HOWEVER, I am happy to offer the ten percent off "pay now" discount for anyone who is ready to pay at the time of their consultation (and doesn't drag it out as some people attempt to…which after doing this job for nearly 20 years, I can assure you it is painfully obvious you are stalling,) until the first of the year – so any service offered, just be ready to pay within about 30 minutes of hearing the price, and you get 10% off for that. :) 

    Otherwise, I guess this is the longest warning ever to tell you be nice to your spellwork as I ain't swinging in and fixing that stuff for free with a quick little supportive spell if'n' you don't. ;) 

    ~Cat