Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • Nifty Little Controlling Jar Spell

    Hey kids, 

    So with a first quarter crescent moon, and it being Friday, (then sun is even in Pisces, which is a water sign,) it’s a perfect day for love magic, and I’m certain I’ll be getting lots and lots of love and reconciliation requests for spell work trickling in as the day progresses for that reason, so I figured I’d get an article up before the day has become too busy. 

    Having had some fantabulous news today, I am in a cheery mood (my lack of lecturing is not from me taking a hard hit to the head,) so I think today’s offering will be a nice little spell (which since none of you mind all my smart instructive lectures when you are given them is probably for the best.)

    Many of you come to me insisting that if you just had a conversation with the person you desire, then all would be well and things between you would resume being loving and enjoyable, when in reality, what you really are telling me it’s that if you’re able to have this person be calm and receptive to what you were saying, you might persuade them to be yours or return to you, whichever is suitable. If I just threw you and this loved one in a room right now, you’d both just fuss and argue and make my job (if you’re employing me,) harder, and/or your situation more difficult, though because this person is not interested or desirous of having any such audience with you, so, possibly, you may be wrong to think if you just open up the lines of communication, that all will be well. 

    Instead, I might suggest that you open this person’s mind to your suggestions. And, since jar spells are all the rage at the moment (probably because they are really easy for beginners,) I have something you might try.

    You will need:
    A small jar with a metal lid like a baby food jar
    Poppy seeds
    Licorice root (shredded or powdered,)
    Lavender flower
    Commanding OR controlling oil*
    Come to me oil*
    A packet of PURPLE birthday candles or chime candles (they need to be small, but as chime candles are slightly bigger, you will get more power from a chime candle,)
    Something personal from the target (a hair of the head is best, but any biological witness sample will work,)
    A small piece of paper with all the edges torn off 
    A pen with black or purple ink
    An image of the target.

    Pre-Spell Set up:
    Mix approximately equal parts of your herbal ingredients (licorice, poppy seeds, lavender,) to fill the jar about half way, then add in the item of your target. Fill the jar to the top with approximately equal parts of your remaining herbal mixture. Add in about equal parts of your oils to make the contents of the jar “wet” (not soupy, but almost a paste consistency,) and then seal the jar shut. 19261389-E40E-41C6-8160-76005EC202F3

    This jar can be reused, but remember to dispose of it if it gets moldy. Keep in mind that herbal ingredients can grow mold and if they do, they will create gasses, and the jar may burst. For this reason I strongly recommend storing this in a cool, dark place, inside of storage containers as just a plastic bag can get eaten away by some essential oils.

    Spell:
    Write the target’s name NINE times using the pen described in the you will need section, as so (replacing Jason Momoa’s name with theirs, haha,)

    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa
    Jason Momoa

    Now turn the paper so the names are running vertically and write the command across this 9 times horizontally, creating a sort of grid pattern. You of course will use your own command, but for example purposes:

    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
    Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him

    A proper command is simple, direct, and uses the present tense. Examples are “Listens with interest and responds thoughtfully to (petitioner’s full name,” or “Reads and quickly replies to (full name,)” or even “Responds gently and lovingly to (full name.)” Ridiculous things like they give you all their money or that’s they spontaneously combust if they ever say a mean thing again, etc are not apt to happen. Keep it simple, keep it realistic.

    Once you have finished the name paper, fold this once towards you, and turn and fold in half towards you again, place this on top of the image of your target, and then place the jar on top of the name paper. Now anoint one of your candles with a few drops of each oil, using seven strokes up (base to wick,) while envisioning your target in your minds eye, and if you are good with mental imagery, try too see the target actively interested and open to your suggestions (example, leaning towards you or the petitioner, whichever is the case.) Light the candle, and secure those to your jar lid with a few drippings. Once secured, and while still trying to keep a mental image of your target in your mind’s eye as you speak (sometimes leaving an image of them near you where you can see it is a huge help,) say “(Full name of target,) come to me, do as I say, for the more you try to resist me, the stronger the urge to do as I command you to do becomes. (Target’s name,), I command you to (state command you used,) wand do so lovingly, sweetly, submitting to my will immediately, Nola, now, – so be it!” Let the candle burn out, and then clean the wax off of it, and store to repeat the spell until the target has submitted to your will. 

    The spell is best done on Sunday, Thursday, and Saturday and should be done each of those days continuing until the target submits. However, if the desired end is love, omit Tuesday, and instead use a Thursday, Friday, Saturday schedule.

    This is mild spell so if you aware looking for something more intense, I suggest this instead.

    I’m sure there will be questions, so please ask – and if you want some love or reconciliation work done by me, please let me know ASAP! 😊

    ~Cat

    *I currently recommend using Seraphin Station products by the fabulous Ms Karma Zain!

    This spell is copyright originalninjacat.com and may not be used, shared, or reproduced in any fashion without my express permission. I offer a reward for catching plagiarists so if you see this anywhere else, let me know.

  • Concise and Simple

    Hey Occulties,

    Today on Cat’s Rants I’d like to discuss a mistake I see people making frequently…

    Keep It Simple, but Keep It Concise. So often when it comes to revenge or love, I get a novel-length email regarding what EXACTLY should happen, and I mean sometimes it is so exact that the amount of energy required to bring about the desired outcome would be absolutely insane when the petitioner would be just as satisfied with a similar outcome, despite insisting that this person must have these exact motives for coming back (generally that’s a reconciliation spell killer to insist you dictate their motives and not just the return,) or that the most complex series of events must happen to their curse target because they are sure everyone involved will be something that can be controlled as well as that I control their reactions, feelings and thought processes. So, let’s change the spell to something everyone reading understands well (probably, though it is an American thing,): A Turkey Sandwich. Now if you just say Turkey Sandwich, a slice of turkey between two slices of bread with nothing else could be all that comes, or something a bit fancier might arrive. No one knows. You only said turkey sandwich, and so as long as turkey and two slices of bread arrive, you got what you wanted. This is comparable to being vague or general in spellcasting. If I say “I want my ex to come back,” that could be anyone from the kid I “dated” in Kindergarten to my most recent ex, and if any one of them comes back, then the spell worked. But most of us have a clearer idea of what we want, so back to the sandwich, if instead you say, “I want a turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich on rye with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, and onion, now the server brings you this and for most of us this is perfect. This could be compared to say “I want (specific person,) to come back to me seeking a relationship and for them to be free of any romantic attachments to others,” – so you’re getting the specific person you want and without so many complications. Lastly in our example, we have the overly exact person… They order a turkey sandwich as so: “I want cruelty-free turkey raised with no hormones, which only comes from the breast of a hen, which also has no preservatives and was raised locally, and place this on rye bread which was baked between the hours of 5-6pm yesterday, preferably while the baker was thinking of a specific classic rock song which will remain secret to me. I want house made aioli and not mayonnaise” (they are the same thing,) “which was made within the last 2 hours, and then a thin slice of jarlsburg which was cut from a cheese only first sliced today, then add red romaine lettuce which has been grown in an area no farther than 20 miles from here and where there are many hummingbirds, some red onion grown in Cork county Ireland, and a slice of tomato which was harvested by the hands of a virgin in Nebraska.” That person probably isn’t eating… And if you are overly exact on people’s motives, what they wear, what exact moment happens, etc, you probably won’t have manifestation either.

    Look at it as if you’re the server in the turkey sandwich example… you can put a slice of turkey between two pieces of bread. You have rye bread and Swiss cheese and lettuce and tomatoes and onions and mayonnaise too as it is a restaurant which serves several sandwiches. Even if a turkey on rye isn’t on your menu, all those items are in the kitchen. However, how many people know what the baker was thinking when he baked the bread? Do you know the exact farm or the exact location of every ingredient normally? No, most of us don’t, much less the thoughts of the people working at those farms and bakeries and dairies. So would it be possible for you find out? Most of it you could, to some degree, but by the time you had, the person ordering that complicated sandwich would likely have left several days before.

    When you are overly complex in what you are trying to manifest, a similar issue arises. The spell energy must be gigantic, and then it has to complete every command, which lessens the likelihood of the energy completing that lengthy list before it runs out, and by the time it has done everything you asked (in the off case that it can,) it takes so damn long, you don’t even want it anymore. 

    So, be concise, and keep it simple. 

    Alright, working on a spell article for everyone. Hope that was helpful,

     ~Cat

    3F83810A-4C9F-4089-BAC7-CD7ED41D32E7

  • Loving Communication

    Hey Occulties,

    Here I am with the nearly-impossible task of making you a new article – and why is it so? For starters my birds have eaten my computer, to add to this, I am still hugely in debt from moving because people apparently didn't understand that losing tens of thousands of dollars both during and in the aftermath of my marriage to my ex and to the illegal forced move from my former landlord (who is now currently the subject of many news articles documenting his illegal activities, and I hope he's enjoying that,) so I can't get a new computer AND pay all the bills…which additionally was made more difficult on me by the fact that I did a sale that enough of you did not participate in, so I lost a vast amount of supplies at a hugely reduced cost while not making enough to purchase the supplies needed to make it a profitable exchange….so now we are all enjoying "fuck you February," for it. This means there are no deals. None. No sales, no discounts. Sorry, I can't do it this month or probably even next, and to top it off, until I get a computer that works there will be a greatly reduced amount of articles because it literally took me 90 minutes just to get what's left of my computer working well enough to type. :P 

    So back to the topic at hand. We were discussing love spells and so here is one for your consumption…

    The following is to get a non-communicative partner to start being more communicative. You will need:

    A parrot feather (these are available online and at many craft stores,)
    Something which has touched the mouth of the target (a napkin, a piece of toothbrush,) 
    Orange cord or ribbon
    Light  blue cord or ribbon
    Pink cord or ribbon
    Honey
    A small jar or vial
    Tobacco
    Poppyseed

    Braid your three pieces of ribbon or cord together, then wrap these around your parrot feather and item which has touched the mouth of your target, saying 9 times "(Full name of target,) speak to me, tell me everything in your heart and mind, talk to me, tell me all," and when you have said this nine times, and the items are secured together by the braided cord, say, "As is my will, so be it." Be sure to keep your target in your mind's eye as you do this, speaking to you and with the image of them being open and talkative. If you have difficulties with doing this, pick an image of your target from your photos where they look open, happy, and welcoming. For example, you might choose an image of a time you spent with this person when they were outgoing and talkative towards you. Place this image on your workspace, and look at it while you say the chant. Now place the wrapped packet into your vial or jar, adding tobacco and poppyseed, then filling with honey. Cap tightly, and place this item into your right hand. Now shaking the jar vigorously, say "(Full name of target,) every time I shake this jar, the urge to tell me all that is in your heart and on your  mind becomes overwhelming to you, and with each shake I give the stronger the urge becomes. You are powerless against silence, and tell me all, you tell me everything, – immediately, now, now, this very moment! As is my will, so be it!" Place this item some place where it will not be disturbed. Repeat the chant "(Full name of target,) every time I shake this jar, the urge to tell me all that is in your heart and on your  mind becomes overwhelming to you, and with each shake I give the stronger the urge becomes. You are powerless against silence, and tell me all, you tell me everything, – immediately, now, now, this very moment! As is my will, so be it!" once daily during the hour of Mercury until your target is telling you all you wish to know. 

    Just as a caution, sometimes the target will tell you far more than you ever wanted to  hear from them. 😦 So, be warned, you might hear too much!

    ~Cat

  • The (Mostly Non-Magical) Reasons your Love Spellwork May Not Manifest

    Hey there kids, 

    Sorry for the delay on spell based articles. To say it's infuriating to type with three  birds all over you is an understatement, ha ha. However you've waited too long, so in no particular order of importance, here are some of the most common reasons I see people ruin their love spells, often without intending to…

    *Untreated Borderline Personality Disorder: Sadly, I see a lot of people come into my virtual office with such strong symptoms of this, that even I can tell it is the problem. If you often imagine scenarios that make you so upset you react to them as if they are real, if you are jealous of someone's ex from 25 years ago that they don't even talk to, or if you get mad if I'm three minutes late to our appointment, you probably should talk to someone regarding is it possible if you have BPD. In fact, if you tend to be clingy and insecure by nature, it wouldn't hurt to speak to a therapist as this disorder is VERY TREATABLE, HOWEVER, if you do not treat it, you will find your behavior often scares off the very people you want to keep close. :/ This is very very common, or at least I do see it a lot in my own practice, so being as it's clearly widespread, it does not make you a freak or "crazy" to have this condition, but you will feel so much better if you get treatment for it! 

    You Think Social Media is Real/ You're Too Into Social Media: I can usually tell if a spell will fail by the number of updates which have to do with someone telling me about social media. There are even types of these updates which are worse than others. For example telling me you are stalking someone's social media and "Found Out" (note: you found out nothing, the person has more or less announced it,) whatever information, then you go on to compare it to what you "know" about that person's social media habits, then tell me this or that MUST mean (whatever thing you think you deduced,) which is in my experience very off base to begin with, I know you have much higher probability of spell failure than someone who tells me that their spell target liked a photo or something. Now, go ahead and make excuses for the stalking to yourself, but I assure you, you're the only one who will believe you, and in many many many many years of doing this work for others, most petitioners are too far gone with obsessive behaviors by the time they are using social media to "figure out" what's going on with their target. You can be as mad as you want for me saying it, but I'm being honest. Again, there are levels to this… I have a few exes of my own that would only contact me via social media, and I also understand that minimal movement could be noticed, it's more that these people scan whatever platform frequently to see what the target is doing. There's also a good reason I won't do readings for people who want to have a good cry about something they found out on social media…the more I can discourage self defeating behaviors, the better. I STRONGLY recommend a self imposed vacation from social media for 3-4 weeks if you're spellcasting. It can only help. If you were never that into it, you don't need to take a break usually, but if you're a daily user, you would be well advised to take a break.  Nothing on there is real life, and frankly 99.9% of any audience anyone has on there will have forgotten what was posted in a very very brief time. Try moving away from believing social media is anything of substance – it won't just benefit your spell, it will also benefit your mental health as a whole. 

    You Believe that Anyone Offering Help/Advice For Free Is "On Your Side": People hate talking about your relationship which is exactly why you pay people to do so. So, if you're paying a therapist or spellcaster, that person is likely interested in helping as it's their job. Just offering you advice for free or involving themselves for free? That person almost definitely is not doing anything for your benefit. While I'm actually discussing mutual acquaintances you and your target have, unsurprisingly that free witch on TikTok who doesn't understand the four tenets of successful spellcasting (one of which is for you to KEEP SILENT,) is likely thinking the work to death with you while offering advice from a novice who is not even capable of casting a spell without entirely making it up from absolutely no experience or looking it up in a book. Try to keep people aware of your active spellwork to a bare minimum (it's fine to have a person other than your spellcaster to discuss it with, but don't have a group or several someones iin the loop,) if you really can't keep it to just between you and your spellcaster. Be wary of helpful mutual "friends" and always know anything you say or write may easily appear in a place your target could be aware of it. 

    You Use Dating Sites/Apps to find Long-Lasting Relationships: In over 20 years of these existing, the percentage of working relationships that I know of (and I fix relationships for a living, so I know of more relationships than most people,) that came off of a dating site or app is easily under 1%, but the amount of absolutely horrific dating stories which begin with "I met x on a dating app/site," is a huge percentage of "horrific dating stories" which the dates start from any source, being easily 60-75% of them. Statistically speaking, if you want a lasting relationship, you would first meet your partner through mutual friends. A side benefit of this is there are several murders and abusers that hang out on dating apps that you'd likely avoid as your friends probably would not set you up with a person best known for strangling their dates unconscious. It's not even that I'm old fashioned – my clients have proven this time and again, as have several of my friends…for most people, dating sites and apps are really only good if you're looking for a one night stand.

    You Aren't "Marriage Material": This is less about being actually married or wanting to be married, and more that several people want a lasting relationship, yet do not act like someone most people would want to stay with. When I ask a client what they have to offer someone else, often I get "Well, I'm good looking, and I'm witty," – this is like saying "I have a cool shirt, and I made a funny joke once." It will get you nowhere. Do you have a career? Do you have your own home? Do you have any upper degrees (so at least a bachelor's degree in something?) and if no on the degrees do you have certification in any trade? Do you clean up after yourself/keep a clean home? Do you have a pleasant demeanor even under stress? Are you good with children? Why is it someone would spend their life with you and entrust their money and home to you? If it's that you're hot and funny sometimes all you have is enough for a quick fling. Love isn't enough on it's own to make a relationship work. Until you can make yourself a valuable partner, you will keep falling short and lose long term relationships. 

    You Lack a High- or Moderate- Social-Intelligence: I truly wish this was taught in schools…but then, I'd probably not have as much work if it were… It's fairly common, but many people just aren't socially adept, and mess up their relationships (romantic, platonic, and business relationships,) for this very reason. For example, you don't need the last word, silence IS a response, and stop apologizing so much would be things I would teach people which would benefit them greatly. 😛

    You Wrongly Believe You Know What Your Intended Partner Thinks/Wants: One of the most obnoxious things people do is tell me this "Well, he likes stupid bimbos with fake boobs that laugh too much" or "She prefers rich, dumb, asshole types" – really? REALLY? So when your "beloved" (who is clearly a shallow knob in your view) brags to their friends about their current squeeze, they say "Wow, she has the fakest tits I ever saw" or "he's the richest most asshole man ever!" in your eyes? You are jealous, plain and simple, and you also do not have any clue what this person likes or wants in a mate if you really perceive it as so. While you may see no value in your rival, your intended does. Maybe they rescue injured wildlife, or maybe they always wanted to be a cardiologist and are studying to be one…whatever the reason, you clearly don't know it. Dispose of trying to figure out why they are dating your rival and keep working on getting that person attracted to you. This actually is related to….

    You Don't Actually Love or Care for your "Beloved": If you want to cause pain to someone or destroy their life so you can have them, you actually no longer really love them, if you ever did at all. It's up to you if you want to continue trying to seduce them because at this point if you get them, you will tire of them in a few weeks. I see it all of the time. 

    You're Too Impatient: If you're crying about the lack of results in less than 2 weeks after a spell has been cast, you're definitely not someone who should be using magic to get anything.

    Again, this isn't a finite list….but it's a nice opening for the love spell article I will be posting shortly. 🙂

    ~Cat

  • Happy 2022

    Hey Occulties,

    Welcome to 2022. I sure am happy to leave 2021 behind – what a nightmare year, and I’m STILL not financially caught up! :/ If you want to hit my gofundme (I’ll link at the bottom,) feel free. I’m still sleeping on a battered futon, so my goal for 2022 is clearly to get me a brand new bed. 

    The new year often brings us to new goals. They can be small (like me just saving enough for 2 weeks to have a real live bed, heh,) or large (like you finally getting that job you’ve been wanting, moving into a new place, or even finding that someone special.) HOWEVER, you have to be willing to stick to your goals, and to avoid this kind of thinking (which I see ALL TOO OFTEN in my inbox from many of you): “Well if I can just get a little positive feedback, then I will start acting in ways to make my spellwork manifest.” Wait, what am I talking about? Alright, so I’ll get something like this “I’ll stop stalking my target and stop being negative and stop lusting for results when the target is nicer to me.” Meanwhile the love spell target is like “I like (client) well enough when he/she isn’t so negative and creeping around after me, but clearly something is wrong with them right now so I’m going to avoid them.”

    How does this happen? Shouldn’t the spell make them attracted to you “no matter what?” No, that’s not really how it works. It makes you more attractive to them, more likeable to them, but if you’re acting mad unattractive and creepy and stalkerish it can overwhelm the spell energies. 😛 It’s actually comparable to this: “I’ll start going to my job regularly and doing the duties assigned to me if they give me the raise first.” So, if you did that with a spell to get a promotion, don’t you think your boss or manager is going to say “I was strongly thinking of promoting that person, but their work suddenly has really fallen off – maybe I should pick someone else.”

    While many of you do understand working WITH your spell, rather than AGAINST your spell, some of you clearly do not. Remember, the spell isn’t going to cut a deal with you. So if you say “Well I just feel like acting against my spell today but it shouldn’t matter because I was good for a whole 5 hours straight yesterday,” then the spell, itself not being a conscious entity will reason with you about as much as fire or rain or wind will reason with you, which is to say not at all. I don’t expect all of us to be our best selves 100% of the time (I’m certainly not and I’ve been spellcasting for over 30 years at this point,) but I also do expect most of us, if what we are spellcasting for is important to us, will try to be our best selves as much as possible. If it’s clearly against my spellwork to act like I’m creepy or stalking my target or if I’m fighting with a reconciliation target, then obviously I need to dial it back a notch if I want my spellwork to take.

    Now, the one thing I do like about this time of year is that there are frequent news articles regarding how to change or lose bad habits and regain or gain good habits. If your bad spell-killing behaviors have become habitual (for example, social media stalking a love target,) then you would be well advised to undertake reading a few of these (hint, hint,) because change is often not overnight. I know we are often taught that magic is well…miraculous, and it certainly can feel that way when it manifests, but part of it still lies within you to create an environment where you are nurturing the changes the spellwork brings, and making the desired end stick around.

    And here’s the thing – spell or no spell, if you want things to change, you manifest change just in changing how you act and/or how you live your life. For example, I’ve had people say “Cat, I have plenty of luck getting people interested in me, but I can’t seem to get any of them to stay interested in me.” After a few questions it becomes clear that the person is charming and not bad to look at, but they either don’t have a job, or any really interesting hobbies (for example, their hobbies are like “reading romance novels and watching tv,) etc. My advice to them is pretty much the same advice I gave to future Mr NinjaCat’s ex which is if you want someone to marry you (or stick around,) be the person that people want to marry (which for her would mean a complete 180 life change, but for most people would really require only a minimal to moderate level thereof.) So for example, make it clear you can support yourself, that you have an interesting life (and I don’t mean like you need to climb Mt Everest, but maybe something more thrilling than you know all the words to every Miley Cyrus song ever,) and that you’d be a good partner outside of just “I look nice.” Like if my guy and I were to break up right now, and I decided to find someone new, Mr New would need a job and his own place for me to even consider him, even if he was Jason Momoa – like THE Jason Momoa. So, if you find people find you really attractive, but then seem to lose interest I recommend working on perhaps getting a better job (or perhaps it’s having a job that gives you more free time as they just feel you don’t have enough free time for them,) or finding a new hobby….and it doesn’t need to be a weird hobby, just something you’re passionate about.

    And if your problem is you have an easy time KEEPING someone with you, it’s getting them interested in you, then usually the issue is more being introverted than anything else. You might (eek) just need to push yourself to go out a bit more and be a bit more outgoing. 

    Now people say to me, “What point is there in doing a spell if I still have to change?” Well, because even if a spell brings you what you want, – for example a new partner, or a new job, – you do need to create an environment which sustains and keeps that positive change in your life. So, instead of waiting for the spell to create the change THEN trying to adopt new habits to keep the change in your life, start manifesting that spell by changing your life so it can easily begin to take root and manifest. 

    Spells can be amazing and manifest faster than expected, but the manifestation phase is really wonderful for you beginning to adopt a few lifestyle changes to keep what you want in your life. So, if you feel like you’re stuck in a rut waiting for that spell to manifest, what I do is use that time to change my own bad habits into good habits. And  yes, I have bad habits, haha. For example, I’ll want to lose weight and continue to take the elevator (which I was doing until I moved into a three floor walk up and spent the first 2 weeks almost dying every time I had to go somewhere and come back, haha.)

    I realize many of us have become slovenly creatures of comfort during our 2 years being locked up inside thanks to the plague, and I actually can visibly see how this has impacted several manifestations. It’s hard to go out and get a job, when in reality you don’t even need to put on pants and it’s all over zoom and so you need to do the minimal amount to even appear like you haven’t been wearing the same pajamas for the last week. This means as you put less effort into YOURSELF, you also begin to put less effort into going after those things which you want, – be that love, or a new job, or a new home. I’ve found the more I can just sit around and watch television and order take out, the less effort I’d put into anything, including basic human to human interaction, and that actually taking the weekend to work a few hours at my retail job actually made me outgrow that “I’ve been wearing these lounge pants for 3 days look,” that I was definitely rocking throughout 2020. I have seen with my younger clients that having  less social opportunities like parties to go to has been detrimental to their regular social lives, so perhaps making sure you are vaccinated and boosted and perhaps attending a few outdoor events (weather permitting,) would help alleviate that problem. 

    Alright, I am going to try to get a spell article up today or tomorrow (with three very anxious parrots who won’t get the feck off of me every time I type, it’s not as easy as you might think,) and since I know I’ll be asked there is actually only a 10% off special on the 15 week plan (aka the one year plan) this month for specials. Sorry, December was my big discount month. :-/

    ~Cat

    my gofundme

     

  • Updates – December 2021 :)

    Hey everyone, 

    Sorry for the delay in posting. I finally have the internet fixed (it was going in and out) but that does not simplify the huge time-drain which is scheduling readings (such a huge pain in my butt,) so I'm hiring a virtual assistant. This will entirely cut down on the clutter and waste of reading scheduling entirely (as well as help to cut out the issue of people using it as a way to get free time with me without paying for a reading, because my virtual assistant for scheduling knows absolutely nothing about the occult, readings, or your case, and that's exactly why I'm hiring him!) so this will free up time for me to do my job instead of wasting time chasing payments and scheduling times. When I have set up the new format for readings scheduling, I will post it here.

    December discounts: In DECEMBER, if you use VENMO, CASHAPP, APPLE PAY, or ZELLE you get 15% off of any service or item offered in my store. Due to PayPal fees, I cannot extend the same discount for PayPal. Sorry. :/ 

    STILL BUILDING BACK, so please keep the sales coming. Getting away from my evil landlord (see previous posts) and living with said landlord was hugely painfully expensive. If you want to help but don't want any services, feel free to give to my GoFundMe (which I love that my friend picked such a huge goal, but I really am already impressed with what has been received so far, as I didn't even expect that much!) but if you just want to know that I'm not a transient (haha) and it's safe to buy services (I've been using my storage for a fair amount of time, so it always was, then rest assured, while I think we might move somewhere bigger in the next month or so, me and the birdies are all safe and warm at home. :) 

    And lastly, I'll be posting a real freaking article in the next 24/48 hours. I know many of you feel like it's been way too long since I have!

    ~Cat

  • Cat’s Birthday Message

    Hey Kids,

    So, after moving away from my old place (I legit lost 90% of my furniture!) last week, getting financially butt-raped by UHaul (because no one helps you move during thanksgiving so I got to pay them for several extra days!) I get to spend my birthday unpacking, cleaning, and having $3 in my bank account. Working while moving was really hard to do but thank goodness for my storage where I have been casting spells because it was the one break I had from moving. I am still going to be broke awhile and was such an object of pity, that even one of my friends organized a GoFundMe for my birthday (and I clearly have friends as broke as I am, because I didn't even crack 1k yet, but I appreciate even $5).

    Soooo….my 43rd year was a shit year and I am glad for it being over. Let's make 44 a good year for my tired cranky old ass (hey you kids, get offa my lawn!)

    I am also happy now that I am in a bug free home (even if I don't have hardly any furniture in it – I am living like a college kid, minus the cheap beer, hahahahaha), and I'm happy I can finally be available to clients again. For my 44th birthday (today!) I would like to offer a MEGA SALE and get back to the grind! I am so ready! 

    Two-hour reading packages are $150 ($45 off!)
    Big spell packages are all 10% off (anything over a one week casting)!
    Seven day castings are all $295 (these range between $305-$335)
    And readings are 20% off the regular price

    Just say Happy Birthday, Cat! and you get the deals! Contact me if interested!

    ~Cat

     

  • Cat v Greasy Landlord…the final battle.

    Hey kids,

    I know I've been awful to reach in the last few weeks. Sometimes you get ahold of me, and you've got my attention for a few hours, other times it's like three whole days before I reply. 

    The first reason is this is my landlord, the one I've been fighting all this time. 

    And you know, everyone, all the "just move instead" shit all of you have said to me, that I repeatedly ignored because I believed the guy would see the light eventually, yeah, you're right. I hate moving. I despise it. I'd rather live in the same shitty place for the rest of my life I hate it so much. It's the only home 2 of my 3 birds have ever known. BUT, despite all of that, I've been forced to live with bedbugs for a year. I've been shamed, vilified, mistreated. I don't really like being an object of pity, and frankly, many of the denizens of my neighborhood absolutely pity me for what I've been put through. The guy buys off judges, and he's super evil, and while NO ONE believes him that I'm a terrible person (the man literally told the courts I'm a gangster – I'll be 44 at the end of the month and tend to dress very professional and in nice dresses, not like a "gangster" would,) or that I'm destitute and selfish (I paid the guy for 5.5 years, during which time I was married to someone who literally used to rob me blind for part of that time and never worked, and I still kept the lights on and paid rent,) it's like fighting an uphill battle in mud while wearing crocs to fight this guy. It's exhausting. He wants to raise the rent on this unit, and if that's what he wants, I've lost more money fighting him than I would moving to somewhere else! AND I've slept with bedbugs for that expense and exhausting fight. Well, no more!

    The thing is, once I decided this it made it very difficult for me to reply to everything because I have to pack up my home and do all of my spellwork. It isn't that I don't care, so this will sound cold, but a lot of my written work is explaining and re-explaining the same concepts and reassuring people, and I'm a very practical person. If I see it as not an emergency, whereas I see "getting secure into a new place that has heat so my birds don't die and I don't freeze to death," as relatively paramount, this is why "Cat I thought a scary thought today" gets left on read for a few days. I ENJOY doing spellwork, and that I see as ENJOYABLE and a stress relief – I mean I get to be out of bedbug hell for some hours because I don't do the spells here. I DETEST PACKING AND MOVING, so that is miserable, so I get kind of pissy and miserable while I do it. I am not fond of repeating myself (surprising, I know,) but I'd honestly rather be replying to you than trying to decide what I can box up immediately and what has to remain out til the last. 

    What I'm trying to say is I try to spend a few hours replying because it's way better than trying to put my dishes in some sort of order or answer another landlord about viewing a place or anything of this process, but I do need to keep myself to task because I want to just get this over with. I want to get out of this bug infested shit hole that I loved so much until it became a bug infested shit hole and the landlord's greedy demonic side showed itself. 

    Yes, I totally cursed him and everyone on his side, which is to say his greedy little minions are all going to get the same shit he gets, but it's really only a handful of people because some working for him have actually quit after seeing how I personally was treated. 

    It's an annoying process but I am thinking I will be settled by Monday. I'm sorry it's been inconvenient, and I'm honestly pretty impressed how well all the magic I'd done and friends have done has kept me here as long as it did. 🙂 So, please just have a bit of patience in the meanwhile. I've always been a bit of an organizational nightmare so readings and replies may be a bit wonky until then.

    ~Cat

  • November 2021 Deal

    Hey everyone,

    Since my October special was relatively popular, this month starting November 7 and ending November 26, I’ll be reducing the cost of all readings by 10%, and the 2-hour reading package will be reduced by 20%

    Time to get a reading? I think yes!

    Contact me if interested! 

    ~Cat

     

  • Correcting Bad Advice From The Interwebs – October 2021 Edition

    Hey Occulties,

    So today I'd like to introduce a new series which hopefully will carry on for awhile. It is a collection of sad, hilarious, or even somewhat believable (but wrong) things regarding magic/spellcasting/the occult that I've located on my travel through the internet. 

    Bad Advice Tip #1: The full moon is AMAZING for bringing things to you! 

    Reality: Nope. The full moon and new moon are both "stagnant." They have their purposes but it's actually best to use the day AFTER the new moon (first day of waxing moon,) or the best planet day AFTER the new moon (so almost 2 weeks before it's full!) to bring things to you or manifest them. The growth of the moon is thought to grow your desired need into fruition. 

    When the moon is full, it is actually just about to start shrinking, (or give the appearance thereto,) which clearly would be unhelpful in growing an influence. 

    I'm honestly surprised when I see "experts" claim the full moon is great for drawing things to you. It might not be bad for keeping things with you, but no, the day after the new moon until first quarter is the superior time for "to bring to you, to draw up, to grow," etc. 

    Bad Advice Tip #2: If you find a feather on the ground, you need to ask the bird who dropped it to use it in your spells or else it's CURSED!!!!

    Reality: I assure you, the bird gives not one shit if you find the feather it molted off and use it for something. If you pull it out of the living bird it will give many shits (and a screech,) but a dropped feather is usually a relief to that bird because he or she is getting the new ones in, and it was probably kind of itchy. The birds ancestors, and the bird itself are about as freaked out as you would be seeing a bird flying off with a hair that came out of your hairbrush so it can line it's nest with it. Some of you would freak out about that, but I assure you, the bird is literally just using something you dropped that you don't want anymore, just like you are if you use it's feather. 

    There are some legal concerns about possessing songbird feathers or raptor feathers. I would check with your local, state, and federal laws if this is a huge concern.

    HOWEVER, you aren't angering the bird or the bird spirits by using a found feather in your magic. Just take the cool feather, and use it if you know the bird it came from and what magical uses there may be for that feather. 

    Bad Advice Tip #3: Put a 7-day vigil candle in water to prevent fire accidents!

    Reality: That might actually encourage the possibility of the glass chimney exploding when it's a risk any time you use these candles (just not as great of one in some cases over others.) It's not the worst advice, but I'd strongly recommend something like ocean sand or traction sand (SAND being the key word) around the base. It's not flammable, fire retardant, and also holds heat well without surface transference. I like to put them on a bed of sand in a coffee can, then pour sand around them. Even if the chimney part explodes, the whole candle continues to burn itself out. It's never been a fire issue. 

    Bad Advice Tip #4: All spellcasters are called "witches" regardless of practice or gender!

    Reality: The term witch is actually derogatory to a lot of people who are not neopagan. The original word did come from "wise" so a wisewoman or wiseman, sure. But you know gay used to mean lighthearted and carefree, and the last time I went to gay party it was my friend's birthday at the gay bar where there were a lot of homosexuals who referred to themselves using the term "gay." Come to think of it, it was gay not only because it was lighthearted and carefree, but also because the vast majority of the people there were gay gentlemen. But my point being, words can change meaning over time, so the meaning of witch has undergone some changes in it's lifetime just like the word gay has. So…when we say "witch" we might mean the traditional meaning of it, we might mean Wiccan or Neo-Pagan, too, and we might mean bad poisonous evil person. A fair amount of the time outside of Neo-Pagan and Wiccan circles, it tends to be seen as a less than positive term for someone. 

    So while you might be well meaning when you say it, use the term judiciously. Many paradigms prefer different terms like Magician or Spellcaster. 

    Bad Advice Tip #5: When spellcasting, just throw things in as your intuition tells you to!

    Reality: This is a bit like saying "When doing major heart surgery without any training on the anatomy or function of the heart, just do what your intuition tells you! I'm sure it won't lead to any problems in the outcome of that surgery!" 

    If you aren't adept at magic and if you are unable to do work without looking up the correspondences of each ingredient (and lack the practice to know the meaning and use of every single ingredient as well as what all actions and etc are for,) this is the absolute worst advice possible. Please LEARN MAGIC, and don't assume that you can just wing it because it sounds like fun. 

    While I do realize some of the above have been posted before in some Questions You've Asked Me form, I figured this would be a good type of new article. Still working on that spell article. 🙂

    ~Cat