Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • The Rat-Skull Experiment – a humorous outcome

    Hey there occulties,

    Have you ever dealt with a situation where you knew someone was talking badly, but you just couldn't quite pinpoint who? A few years have passed since this experiment, but needless to say, it worked, – and quite quickly. 

    A little background is needed… I was acquainted with a person who would always tell me I did this or that thing, or said this or that thing (always a hurtful action, and nothing I was guilty of,) and that they had proof because someone they refused to name had told them as much. As I'm not one to deny doing something controversial or upsetting IF I did such a thing (because I won't admit to doing something I did not do, but if I did it, I'll own up,) nor am I one to say something bad and not admit I had said it if I am confronted, this was a puzzle. I was doing nothing hurtful and not saying any thing hurtful. Was this a problem where the acquaintance as imagining the wrong-doing on my part and blaming the accusations of said wrong-doing on a non-existent witness against me…or was there really someone saying all of this. I mean, I had to get to the source, because either situation was not really acceptable. Clearly either my friend was making up stories about me, or someone else was, and without knowing which was the case, I would have to uncover the antagonist using magic.

    I procured the skull of a rat (you can actually get this item at a place like Skulls Unlimited,) and, removed the wax from the head area of a figural candle (I used a male candle in this case, as I was 99.9% I was dealing with a man,) placing the skull which I'd stuffed with a special blend of herbs to make someone talk and a small slip of paper with a command inside on top of the "headless" figural to act as the head of the candle. I wrote "expose yourself to me" on the skull of the candle with a sharpie as well. I placed this item into a tray filled with sand and surrounded it with 9 candles, each with the command "expose yourself" inscribed up (base to wick,) and anointed up in commanding oil. I did a chant to specify what I wanted to happen (I made it up on the fly, so I can't recall the exact chant now,) and allowed the candles surrounding the "Rat man" to burn out. 

    About a week or two later, I was at a bar that myself and many friends would frequent, and, as happens in a bar, I had to use the restroom because I'd had about 3 drinks. 😉 As it so happens, I open the door to the bathroom, and I got a full view of a particular male patron who was a friend of mine. He actually turned a bit, which clearly exposed his man parts. I apologized and closed the door. As is common enough in more than one place in Portland, there was one toilet for ladies, and one for gents, but there is literally ONE TOILET (no stall,) for each, so basically if yours is taken, you just lock the door even if in the "wrong gendered" bathroom, and no one gives a hoot. This is a common enough thing to happen, so I thought nothing at all of it – someone just forgot to lock the bathroom door. Then it happened a second time. Then it happened a third. In the same night. Mind you, I'm not watching this person for when they go to the bathroom, and the second time, I had tried the gentleman's bathroom, so it's not like he's running into the ladies' bathroom to expose himself to women. 

    As I sit down at the bar after this third exposure, the person who I'd walked in on goes up to me and says "Look, if you're trying to see if I'm texting (friend,) I'm not. I figured (friend) would tell you what I said, and that I said it. I was really drunk both times. I'm sorry, I know that I went overboard." Aha! The rat has now been exposed FIGURATIVELY as well as 3 times quite literally! 

    So, I got to not only confront my accuser, but see his man bits (to which I had not ever desired to see said parts in my life.) The spell was a success, however, I clearly needed to adjust the working if I tried it again, if not just to spare myself from undesirable nudity. 😉

    I hope that gave you all a smile,

    ~Cat

  • The Planets Must Be Crazy

    Hey there, my lovies,

    So, as you may have heard/read, SIX planets are retrograde at the moment. That's right…SIX. Holy moly! As if 2020 hadn't been unkind enough to us all, right? Well, perhaps, and perhaps not. Remember, there is an upside to retrograde, as it is a time to revisit that which falls under the sphere of influence of each planet. So, this is why Venus retrograde, for example, can be great for getting your ex to come back to you, or why Mercury retrograde can actually create a situation where you re-establish communication with a loved one who you no longer speak with. 105357327_2733211696892522_5281603813518576847_n
    The above is not my image (I don't claim ownership,) and since I don't ascribe to the idea of karma (the only Karma I believe in is Karma Zain,) clearly I'd not use "karmic events" in anything I'd produce, but this will show you what is CURRENTLY retrograde as of June 22, 2020. I'm also not really sure of the effect of Pluto in astrology as both it's discovery and it's inclusion are relatively recent events. 

    So, keep this in mind…I want all of you to be extra careful with your spellworkings and with making any large decisions for the next few days, OK? If you're looking to cast a spell for most any reason, the desired sphere of influence could very likely be in this retrograde. Again, that could be beneficial if you want to revisit from the past, but detrimental if you're relatively new to spellwork, and desire NOTHING from your past to be in your life now. 😉 Past "things" aren't just people or places, they are also attitudes, and feelings, and intangible ideas. 

    Best wishes,

    ~Cat

     

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me: June 2020 Edition

    Hey everyone,

    I hope you all had a lovely weekend, (and Monday, if that's even possible, haha), but even if you didn't, here I am with another installment of QUESTIONS YOU'VE ASKED ME, everyone's favorite type of article. I apologize if any of these are repetitive – I get a lot of similar questions, and I've been writing this blog for 16 years now, so it happens. 😉

    Q: What is the best way to deal with an ex that you did reconciliation magic on, who came back – only for you to realize, you don't want them back, and you made a mistake? My ex won't stop bothering me now – HELP!

    A: Honestly, what you should do is just tell this person while you were initially curious if it could work out, you're not interested in dating them again (or continuing to date them again, depending on the situation,) as you are now sure it could never work out. Being direct, and making it more "your fault" (example "I do not feel this will work, I am not interesting in pursuing a romantic relationship further," not "You're impossible to date, and I forgot what a jackass you are,") and not taking personal jabs at them is going to make most people just quit trying to be with you. 

    But let's say you've tried that (and if you haven't, try that first,) and this person just won't leave you be. What do you do then? Well, you can wait it out. Most people get sick of being rejected shortly, and just letting their desires for you dry up on their own is cheaper and requires little energy, or you could do work to make them lose interest, work to make them get outta your life (for example, you see them frequently as your paths cross,) work to totally obliterate those loving feelings in them for you (remember that this is permanent, though, and sometimes that isn't exactly what people want,) work to make them fall for another, – there are a myriad of solutions. I know someone will want to know what I personally would do, and I would say 9 times out of 10, I'll just let them get sick of chasing me around and being rejected – and I will be certain to flatly reject them outright, because like I'm always telling you all, clear communication is the key to most personal relationships (romantic or otherwise.) 

    I also get people complaining that an undesired ex is "social media stalking" them, although this person is not actively engaging them in any conversation, or trying to keep up a strong friendship. While this would bother me not one bit (really,) it drives other people bananas. Look, you're not obligated to remain social media friends with someone after dating. If it really creeps you out, remove them. If you really can't deal with an ex, you can even block them after so doing. I don't generally condone this (I enjoy being friends with the vast majority of my exes, and it's also proven to be beneficial that I stayed friends with them in more than one case,) but if someone is really making you creeped out, you would not be alone in unfriending/unblocking after a break. Some people have that as their standard. 

    Q: I have no real talents I can think of, and I have very little (to no) real education – can I benefit from success or money magic?

    A: I suspect everyone has some talent, and even those that have very little have something they could do to make money (albeit it may be an undesirable job,) so I think technically, yes, everyone could make more money and more opportunities could arise for you, it just might not be opportunities that you personally want. 

    That said, I also think most of us (the vast majority,) have some talent that we could put to good use. Perhaps what is really needed here is a brainstorming session AND a bit more self-confidence….although I realize I sound like a Hallmark Card saying as much. 😉 Maybe you're not made to be a surgeon or a ballet dancer (I certainly lack the grace and dexterity for both, in my personal opinion,) but you can still make a good living doing something that you have skill in. People skills and organizational skills are actually really valuable assets in business. If you have one or both of those traits, you can use them to your benefit. If you are good at fixing things or repairing things, this is also a valuable skill, and there are a lot of people who ARE NOT good at those things who would hire you for your skill. So what if you can't sing or you don't have the looks to be a model, and so what if you don't have a PhD – you can still be good at something, excel at it and make money doing it. :) 

    The protocol here for you if you feel like you have no talent, and you don't have an education is to think VERY REALISTICALLY about what you can do (so no "I'd be great as president of a foreign country that most people have never heard of!") and try to suss out an idea of how you can apply your skill set to a job – and trust me, you probably have a lot more skills and opportunities than you realize. Now, once you've done that and you have an idea of what you can do and would like to do, THEN do the success magic. 

    Q: How can I make an emotionally-remote person open up? 

    A: While I can't say this for certain – some people are naturally just more-reserved, – many people are emotionally-remote as a self-defense mechanism. So, while you could "open them up," and make them more emotionally-demonstrative, you might also open-up an emotional jar of cockroaches you never did want to open up. :/ If someone is reticent about their past, I understand a curiosity as to why this is, and possibly it is something that you should know, but in saying as much, it might also be something pretty deep that this person is uncomfortable sharing, and for good reason. I have heard before instances of someone telling their partner of a few short weeks that they were molested as a child, for example, only for the partner to bring it up without thought around others, or even make jokes about it. Ugh! So, this person may have told others of their experiences before, and had such action blow up in their face. It makes sense that, since so doing, they kept whatever made them "emotionally-remote" to begin with close to their heart. 

    Perhaps this person also had a long experience of people abandoning them, or not being emotionally-available to them in their youth. I mean, again, it's often a self-defense mechanism. This isn't something that will go away easily. You might suggest that they see a counselor if you feel it is impeding their well-being. You could do healing spellwork on them to help with this, and they may become a little less stoic if you do.  

    Because, lovies, here is the thing, – you can really really really really bring out something that someone can't handle (or you can't handle) if you just do work to make them open up to you emotionally (so be careful if someone is a bit stony and unemotional when doing that kind of work,) to the degree that I have seen people have to spend time in psych wards because someone who just wanted their boyfriend (usually, less-often their girlfriend) to unvault all of their secrets and tell them all and be so open with them and used spellwork to make it so. 

    It could also be that this person is not READY to be open and show their sensitive side because they just haven't gotten to the point that they feel that close to you. In these cases, try using love drawing magic and communication magic together to help speed this process. Again, you might be opening a jar of cockroaches you never wanted open, but that's on you. 😉

    Lastly, keep in mind, some people are just wired to be this way. :/ Using work to make them more expressive and to tell you more of their secrets will not make you feel any closer, because nature made them an emotionally-remote douche. I've come across a few of these in my lifetime (both dealing with clients and in my personal life,) where there is absolutely no reason they "Shut down" and never came back…they were always shut down. 

    Q: I lent a friend money, I helped him out in many ways, and now he's being rude and abrupt with me and trying to end our relationship because he owes me so much – what spells can help me here?

    A: Ah, I know this type too well. 😛 OK, the "normal" way I get people to pay back money-owed is through intranquility-style work (yeah, that's right, kids, it's not just for bringing back your ex,) but the type you have described to me is a poor candidate for that to be effective in many cases. You have a few options, but I guess my personal gold-standard would be to curse the person terribly until they repent and give me all money-owed (no one of this ilk is like to repay your favors which are not financial,) which might just mean they are horribly cursed, and let's be fair – that's pretty deserved from the sound of it. If someone borrows a ton of money, and then, ASSUMING YOU ASKED FOR IT BACK NICELY, they tell you fuck you and you're a bad person, then they are not a good person. If I lent you money, and asked for it back (I would not be rude,) I would expect you to just nicely tell me that you don't have it, and could I wait awhile longer, assuming again, that is the reason you won't pay. Heck, even if someone can pay you back and just doesn't want to (it happens), a little politeness goes a long way. To be fair, if I lent you, say, $500 (not a huge or small amount there,) and you said you'd pay me back in a month, then when that time comes, you just say "Cat, I don't have it," even if you gave me $50, that's in good faith that you can pay me back, and I'd still appreciate it a lot. I know people who would get mad and tell the friend that they loaned money to that this is unacceptable (and I get it, kids, I really do – I've totally been screwed over by someone who SWORE they were paying me back in full in a few days,) but remember, that defensiveness can actually be detrimental in getting your friend to repay you. Try remaining calm, and offering a payment plan if the money is dear. ALSO, remember my cardinal rule (which I've regretted the few times I've broken it,) of lending money – never lend anything you can't spare. :P 

    That said, there is always that douche canoe that just decides not paying you back EVER, and pretending that you're the bad guy (when you weren't even mean,) and ending your friendship is easier than paying you back. My first experience of this was in college where a friend of mine owed me TEN FREAKING DOLLARS (that's it!) and ended our friendship over that amount. I'd asked the day he got paid, very nicely, if he had my $10, and yep, he told me off. That was the inglorious end to a 4 year friendship. 😛 BUT, assuming the person who is being asked about had borrowed A LOT OF MONEY, then look, they never intend on paying you back if they are being rude and you've been nice about it, and if they are trying to end the relationship, then the sad thing here is, they have probably convinced themselves that you don't deserve to have the money anyhow. This means making them "Feel badly," isn't going to work in a lot of cases. The problem here is, a lot of people are just serial assholes. It's unfortunate but true. HOWEVER, if you use cursing to make everything blow up in their face until they pay you back, they are at least getting "paid" for not paying you back. I also think the energy of this kind of working actually motivates the person to do whatever you wanted them to (because subconsciously I think they pick up that they are being cursed until they do.)

    For my more tender-hearted readers, you might also try suing this person civilly (I'm assuming it's a great deal of money) and using justice and court work to get the courts to award you (and mandate them) your money back. You can also try reconciling the friendship, but I would bet you a whole shiny new nickel that you're going to find they want you to forgive the debt to reconcile, ugh.

    Of course, you can also use intranquility work to make them pay you back, just in my experience, this type isn't going to fold because they really don't experience guilt.

    Q: I recently moved, and would like to make new friends, but most of what I can find is about hooking up, and I'm not looking for romance (or sex) – is there spellwork for this?

    A: Yes, there is! 🙂 I think if you look WAAAAAAY back in my archives, there are a few spells on the blog you can use, but I also find using sweet pea scent (so this isn't really a spell, but use it with intention and it sort of kind of is,) attracts people like flies – and no, not just for romance. 😉 I'm also a HUGE FAN of Dara of Hoodooroots.com fame's "Magnetic Attraction" to attract friends (use it on an orange candle, and make the command to attract friends to you,) but failing that, even just plain old "attraction oil" will work. 🙂 You can also work a honey jar (burning orange candles on top on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) and making yourself the target (so your name 7 times,) and crossing it with "Everyone is drawn to me, seeking my friendship," seven times. Also, if you use rose petals, swap them out for passionflower. I don't know why this is, but passion flower is actually better for friends than it is for passion. 

    It really is a common thing to be seeking, so don't feel badly if you want to attract new friends. People are social creatures, but not everyone is a social butterfly by nature.

    Alright kiddos, that's enough for your old friend Cat today. If you need help (or want me to cast a spell for you, or do a reading for you,) you know where to find me!

    ~Cat

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  • Getting the Amorous Attention That You Desire

    Hey occulties,

    You know what happens when people become depressed? A lot of the time, apathy is what happens. Of course, apathy rarely ever solves anything. I like to think of magic as being like that big beam of hope that can wake us all out of the "I could give a fuckall if I even get out of bed, much less solve my problems," funk that many of us can fall into. So are you ready to get out of that funk and get down with your badass selves? Good. Let's do some magic. 

    Today's offering is for those of you who are like "Damn straight, I want out of this boring no-people, all Netflix all the time, always wearing my pajamas nightmare," (aka quarantine,) and will help direct attention to you now that many of you can be out and about. 🙂 It's really a very simple spell to do, and because I love those candle spells so much, it's one of them.

    You will need:
    A white bowl*
    A red candle 
    Red rose petals
    Spring water**
    Magnetic Attraction oil (or similar)***
    A pen with green ink
    A scrap of paper with all of the edges torn off

    Using your pen with green ink, write your (or the target's) name seven times, like this:
    Firstname Lastname
    Firstname Lastname
    Firstname Lastname
    Firstname Lastname
    Firstname Lastname
    Firstname Lastname
    Firstname Lastname

    Now, turn the paper, so that the names are running vertically, and write horizontally the command seven times (similar to the above,) "All eyes are drawn to me, all who see me desire me," seven times. If working for another person, replace "Me" with their name. This should sort of resemble a grid. Spit into the center of the paper, fold this in half TOWARDS YOU, then fold this in half again TOWARDS YOU. Place this beneath your bowl. Anoint your red candle UP (base to wick,) using a few drops of Magnetic Attraction oil and seven pulls of your right hand (while envisioning yourself or your target looking gorgeous and surrounded by sparkling red and pink energy). Now light this and allow a few drippings to fall into the bowl and secure the candle snugly using this melted wax. Pour some spring water into the bowl to fill it about halfway, then add red rose petals. If your candle has been extinguished in the middle of these steps, relight it now. Place your hands on either side of the bowl, keeping the vision of yourself (or your target) looking absolutely as sexy as can be, and surrounded by a pink and red sparkly energy, and say (again, replace pronouns and etc when working for another,): "All eyes on me, all desire me. All are drawn to me, and want to be near me. I am the diamond in the sand, the brightest star over all the land. Lovers and friends come to me. Drawn like moth to a flame, come to me, filled with love and desire, as is my will, so be it!" Allow the candle to burn out (generally the water extinguishes it), and when it does, anoint the name paper with a bit of the water, hiding it in a place near your front door where it will not be seen. Pour the water into a container, and splash a bit of it on you before you go out.****

    See, how easy! I'm sure there will be questions, so feel free to ask! 

    ~Cat

    *OK, TRY to get a white bowl. If it has a design on it but is white stoneware that is the second best thing. If it's colored, avoid brown or black. 

    **Spring water can be bought at many stores, but I guess if you REALLY CAN'T (be honest with yourself) get spring water (which I don't believe), then you're going to use tap water anyhow and there isn't much I  can do about that. It won't work as well. 😛

    ***This formula is available through Hoodooroots.com, but if you can't or won't get this please get real COME TO ME oil (not the cheap fake stuff,) from a respectable seller.

    ****This water will get stale after awhile. Please use it soon after doing the spell.

    Copyright OriginalNinjaCat, all rights reserved. I do give a reward for catching plagiarists, so please let me know if you see one! 🙂

  • Helpful Pointers for Love/Relationships

    Hey Occulties,

    As many of you probably realize, many of my spell requests involve love or attraction. This means at any given time, there are a number of people texting me and emailing me about their love lives, while I'm also working some love mojo for them. So, I am basically a relationship counselor AND a spellcaster and psychic. If I could recommend some pretty key guidelines to getting love work to manifest or just to make your relationship more functional, it would be the following:

    Don't obsess: If all you do is think about your desired partner, what they are thinking, why they did this or that, what is going to happen, what does this or that on social media mean, where this is going, why did someone say something possibly not related, etc, you're not only thinking your spellwork to death (lust for results,) you're also more or less making yourself crazy. It's not only bad for your mental health, and your spells, – it will impact your behavior towards your partner/desired partner in a negative way. I can't stress enough how important it is to LET IT GO and STOP OVERTHINKING, because you are not making anything better, nor are you preparing yourself for some outcome you imagined…you're making yourself anxious and panicky and that's it. 

    And to be fair, someone who can spend 1.5 hours on the phone with me discussing a like on a social media post and it's many possible meanings (other than someone liked your post) is probably way too obsessive to have a lot of success with spells. Your thoughts are directing those energies all over the place and putting them in a holding pattern. It's OK to have a few mild episodes of obsessive anxiety, but once you realize what you're doing, you need to make yourself stop. Try to tell yourself you have what you want already, it just has to arrive (much like a package in the mail). If you can't? You probably need a psychiatrist because you may have anxiety issues. I don't say that to be harsh, but a doctor can help you with racing and obsessive thinking patterns, and if you've suffered from them for a good portion of your life, it's fair to say you may have those issues. 

    Have someone uninvolved with everyone in the situation that you can talk to: I've said it before, but remember anyone who can have any connection to your desired partner/partner, can also repeat (or twist) what you said to that person, or to someone who would tell that person. People who want to "help" but who are involved with both of you are often not all that helpful, unfortunately. :/ I don't care if so-and-so is totally your bestie and will never tell anyone…if that person is connected in any way (even by being friends with x person who knows y person, who just happens to be friends with your desired person,) to your spell target (or partner/desired partner,) chances are, they will at least inadvertently tell someone who is going to tell your partner/desired partner. 

    I mean, embrace the reality that virtually no one wants to discuss your love life with you. Because of my job, many of my friends love talking to me because I'm so used to hearing people go on and on about their problems, that I can patiently listen and don't avoid them – but the average person really doesn't like hearing you go on and on about your love life. That isn't to make you feel bad, but rather to point out that if someone is trying to find out about your love life – actively asking you what's going on, – they probably have some motive for doing so which isn't that they just want to be your shoulder to cry on. In my experience, the motives are one of three things – they want a romantic relationship with you, they want to keep you away from your desired partner, or they just like creating drama and nonsense. Even if it is not one of those three negative motives, you're going to be a lot safer if you share your personal love-life information with someone who is in no way connected to the situation you're dealing with. They won't tell your intended partner anything you said, and can't share any of that information with someone who is familiar with your intended partner. 

    But it's going to help if you can talk about the problem when you need to. A trusted advisor, counselor, or even a friend with no connection to the situation is a must. Obviously, as discretion is my business, I would not tell your secrets, but I'm also not free to talk to (it's a paid thing,) and a psychiatrist is not free to speak to as well…you might try a priest/reverend/pastor, etc, or a friend you know who has no attachments to your desired partner, but make sure you have someone to vent to, and help you make a plan, when you need to. 

    Remember, a lot of people's behavior is more to do with themselves than to do with you: A very common problem I see people having is their own anger or anxiety arising from a partner's behavior…when often the behavior they are upset by has LITERALLY NOT ONE THING to do with them, but everything to do with their partner. For example, if one party is having a lot of job stress, they may become cold and remote at home, hoping that this cooled and distant behavior will shield their partner from their anger and stress. The other partner often decides this is something that they did to create this cold and distant attitude and they push for answers, only to get snapped at and told it's trouble with work. Unsurprisingly, this lack of communication causes a lot of distress and can break a couple up. While it would be great if we all communicated better, (which could prevent a lot of this from happening,) that isn't always how people work. If I'm angry or upset about something, I try to tell the person I'm speaking to why they may pick that up in my tone if it is nothing to do with them. Most people understand and appreciate this, example "I'm sorry, I just got off the phone with a very rude and difficult person. If I seem a bit short, it's nothing you did." But, OK, I'm willing to do that, what about the people who are not forthright? 

    Try not to assume you did something wrong. If you really have to search your mind as to what you might have did, when you've done nothing out of the normal and they liked normal, then chances are, it isn't something you did. You can ask the person if everything is okay. If they brush you off (so they say it's nothing), respect their space, and back off a bit. If the behavior continues, you might ask again, but realize…some people become emotionally remote assholes when stressed. 😛 By this, I mean, they will shut down and shut everyone out, and it's a very bad coping strategy in the long term. If you are this person, give yourself 1-7 days to shut people out, then try communicating with the people closest to you. Remember, they love you and want you to be happy. If you're with this kind of person, remember, this is their way of coping. If you can't deal with it, you risk making them feel cornered, and making them snap at you if you continue to push for answers. Try giving them some space, but when there has been 7-10 days of space, tell them you need to know what's wrong, as you're worried about them. DO NOT push this person for answers every single day the moment you notice this behavior, as it will often mean a fight. 😛

    And if you're not with someone (so you want someone,) keep in mind, there could be a lot going on in their life. If they aren't your partner, give them plenty of space. A lot of people do not want to divulge deeply personal issues that they may be going through to someone they only tangentially know. Don't just assume that they "hate you," or that they think you're awful. Trust me, most of the time the problem is nothing to do with you, and you're taking behavior personally that isn't even meant to offend you.  

    Do not compare yourself to your intended's past partners: One of the more unhelpful habits people have is asking me why their partner did x or y thing for their ex, why they won't do the same for them (often this is because they perceive the ex as being treated better). The best answer I can give is that their ex isn't you, and what you two have is unique. It can also be because their ex was bad enough that they won't put up with certain behaviors ever again. Whatever the reason, the reality is you are not their ex, and their ex isn't you, and no one is you…. It's not a contest. I have loved many people and have been in love a handful of times, and while I may no longer prioritize an ex as I once did, my loving that person in no way limits how I love my partner or why I love my partner. Love is not a finite resource. I love my friends and family and my partner, and feeling love for another person does not take away the love I have already. Stop thinking you need to be the only thing your partner cares about, because…

    Jealousy/possessiveness is NOT attractive – it's insecurity: Let's admit it, we all feel jealous or insecure from time to time. It's best to let this be as fleeting as possible (again, life is not a contest, it's a journey,) but when you let jealousy overwhelm you, it's going to cause damage to your relationship. Some years ago, I had broken up with a partner who I was once very much in love with. This person then went out of his way to try to make me jealous. As I know that I am very special and there is only one Cat, I wasn't jealous. I actually would tell people (see above – people have motives to get in your personal business,) who asked what my feelings on the matter were about him dating this person that I love him very much, and I was very happy that he had found someone that made him happy. His reaction? All he did was talk about me! Ha! He wanted me to be jealous, and I wasn't. I wasn't afraid that I didn't matter. His attempts fell flat, and also did more to make me feel less attracted to him, whereas my confidence made me more attractive to him. 

    You know the platitude "If you don't love yourself, no one else will?" Well, that's trying to say that if you don't have any confidence (which is very attractive) your insecurity and jealousy will drive people away. When you get jealous or possessive, that feels needy, it feels clingy, it makes many people act mean, and it's just unpleasant. 

    Don't reward bad behavior/bad treatment from your partner: If you let someone get away with something with no consequences once, they will continue to keep making that mistake. I don't advocate behaving harshly (depending on the situation,) but you need to at least tell them what they have done is NOT ACCEPTABLE, and let them know that it has shaken your trust. If they try to pretend like the behavior is no big deal, tell them if they feel that way, you may need to end the relationship, because you have more self respect than to deal with that. I realize that's a risky thing to say, and they might leave. However, let me assure you, if you let someone do the same "bad behavior" 10 times with no consequences, the tenth time being when you finally speak up – they will leave. So, ask yourself if it is something you can deal with. If not, put your foot down and let them know what they are doing is not acceptable to you as soon as this behavior arises. Do not EVER reward a bad behavior with a positive reaction, or else expect that bad behavior to happen more than it would – because it gets a positive reaction. 

    Respect personal space: Please DO NOT go through someone's phone, someone's computer, someone's tablet, someone's mail, someone's drawers and closets, etc. While I obviously understand that can't always be absolute, (because sometimes people have gotten some worrisome and dangerous habits like drugs, or sometimes you have every reason to expect cheating,) realize everyone needs a little bit of privacy, even if you're their partner. I've had people who will start scrolling on my phone and looking through my contacts when I show them a picture. I've known people who will start reading a letter from a friend they don't share with me. I know people who go through anything and then tell me if I have nothing to hide, why do I care? Well, like anyone else, I care because it's personal. Were I being accused of cheating or lying about something, I'd gladly open my phone for them (or tell them the passcode,) and let them look for themselves, because I don't have anything I must hide, but at the same time like 99.9% of people on the planet, I like to feel like some things are just mine. It's the asking if you can dig into the deeper levels of my personal life and being granted permission to do so that shows how close we are – just demanding you go through my personal stuff daily like I'm an inmate in a jail is demeaning, rude, and obnoxious. I think most people feel this way. 

    I do realize that their are times where you need to cut past the respect of personal space, – because there is a serious problem, – but it is a sign of respect that you let someone have a little bit of privacy. 

    And if someone wants some LITERAL PHYSICAL SPACE, give it to them. Don't crowd someone or insist on being right next to them if they are feeling angry, upset, and uncomfortable and just want to gather their thoughts.

    *** 

    I'm sure that I've missed a few big pointers, but those are the most-common ones I've advised people with lately. I hope it has been helpful! 

    ~Cat

    This post is copyright OriginalNinjaCat, all rights reserved. 

     

  • A Note on Readings This Week

    Hey everyone,

    Sorry, I had SEVERAL spells to get through today, and by around 4pm (as a few of you may have noticed if we talked/texted about your case,) I was fall-over tired. That's what happens with 6am-3pm straight spellcasting (I even set the altars up last night for all those spells) and I don't apologize. 😛 I took the necessary nap from 5-7pm, and got back to work. 😉 So, rather than make a few people put up with me when (as is always when I'm tired) I am not going to be super verbose and very descriptive, I instead scheduled them for tomorrow (it was only 2 people I rescheduled and they've worked with me before). That made me realize how fast my schedule is fulling up. If you HAVE NOT scheduled your reading for this week, please do so ASAP! OTHERWISE, I may not be able to fit you in until NEXT WEEK. 

    Also, readings are $60 for the half hour, and $110 for the hour. 🙂 So, five years ago prices! :D 

    AND if I need to get back to your email and did not today, please kindly give me until tomorrow. I think I have done about 75% of my replies for all my unanswered emails today. BUT, I need to get up at the buttcrack o' dawn and do some more spells, so I figured I best save my energy, lest I turn into the zombie I was today in the late afternoon before my power nap. 😉

    I'm really happy to be so popular – but if you want me to read THIS WEEK, you do need to hurry in to schedule a time. Thanks for understanding!

    ~Cat

  • An Intranquility Spell Story

    Hey kids,

    Since everyone has sent me some messages to cheer me up, one person shared a nice outcome to some spellwork I did for her, and I'd like to thank her for letting me share. 🙂 Please note, intranquility gets a bad rap. No, it doesn't drive evil spirits to you or mess up your relationship (which is clearly already messed up if you're using it,) and all the histrionics I read online. 😛 I've used various forms of intranquility for reconciliation for myself and clients with astounding success. It isn't great for all targets. It is F***ING AMAZING on a good portion of them. 

    So some background, Denise (not her real name,) had been dating Kevin (not his real name) for about 3 years. Kevin traveled a lot for work, so there would be times where she might not see him for 5-7 days, however, they were always messaging each other. As she isn't the type to worry or get obsessive, when he became a little distant a few months ago right before the start of quarantine she hardly noticed. When he still seemed distant and annoyed when they finally got locked in, she just passed it off as he was "used to his space," and that it was a bit overwhelming to be with her all of the time. He spent a lot of time on his phone, but she thought it must be for his job. But as the weeks passed, she couldn't help but have a nagging feeling that something was going on. He seemed to be getting very fussy and short with her. Finally when he'd left his phone out and was in the shower, she saw a text come in, and the context seemed to be he was getting broken up with….by another woman. Denise is a pretty smart chick, so she waited to see his reaction to this text before saying something. He picked up his phone, and immediately launches into how much he hates quarantine, fuck quarantine, this is all such bullshit. Cool as a cucumber, she says "Well, what particularly made it so bad?" And he told her it was something with work. She shoots back, "Ah, I thought it was that woman who just broke things off with you." He turned white, then turned red, and then hollered at her for "spying on him." She didn't even raise her voice, she just said "Well, you left your phone facing up, I passed by, and it was there." Then they got into a big argument. Then they had a tense 10 or so days where they were both glaring at each other, and finally as restrictions began to ease, he decided he was going to move in with a buddy.

    That's where I came in. Denise contacted me about 2 weeks ago…. It was 2 weeks and a day ago actually. She told me what happened and said that she wanted him to come back but also to really get it in his head what he did wrong. I suggested a particular plan, but because she was still quarantine poor, we decided just to do some intranquility work, as the regular "cocktail of spells" was out of her price range. I did warn her that this work is often best paired with love drawing and reconciliation, and she said something along the lines of "You know, if he comes back, it's probably going to be a few weeks, and I'll have more money then. I'll get some supportive work done, because I can afford it then." I have worked with her before, – she's a patient, lovely, amazing client, and has a really good head on her shoulders, so I was comfortable with that.

    I cast the spell that day. About 3-4 days later, she started getting texts. They weren't exciting or loving (OMG, every damn time they ask for something material they own at your place or try to be your buddy on first contact! Ugh!) but the fact that he went from dead quiet to texting every few hours was something. I told her reply if you have to, and when you do, be business-like, not friendly. By last weekend, his tone changed. Instead of asking for stuff he would ask her if she still loved him because he loved her. I told her to not give in yet. Don't be friendly and loving yet. Make him ask to come back. She didn't know how to reply and both of us agree it's hard to come up with amazing excuses or anything during quarantine, so while I didn't tell her to totally NOT reply, she decided not to. Apparently by Monday, Kevin couldn't take it any more. She woke up to a HUGE TEXT where he admitted he'd been wrong to be seeing someone else, that it hadn't gone on long, and that it was the only time it ever happened. He then explained why it happened (he felt unimportant, like she wasn't "clingy enough" and he'd wanted to feel important,) and that he was glad it was over with the other girl. Could he please come back. She waited a DAY to call him (she's one tough chick.) They made up, and we did some work to prevent cheating and to make the reconciliation go more smoothly. He's already moved back in as of today, and is apparently on his best behavior. 

    And that, my friends, is why intranquility KICKS ASS!!! 🙂

    ~Cat

  • A Metric Fuckton of Bullshit

    Hey everyone,

    Well it's my soapbox so let me get on it. As some of you already know, Mr NinjaCat is very very unwell. No, it's not COVID. Because of his illness, I have a ton of bills, and because of COVID (no he's not sick with it,) I have very little paying business. He can't work, and his check is guaranteed, whereas I could work 16 hours a day, and make $150 for a week of 16 hour days. 😛 So basically, I am trying to pay GIGANTIC BILLS, and do that with 1/20th (or less) of the paying business I normally have. Even without bills that Mr NinjaCat incurred, I would have trouble paying my bills right now…. Seriously, the 'Rona hasn't made me sick but clearly it's still trying to kill me. 

    And the terrible thing is one thing that helps me when I'm having problems is my job. No, not money, it's helping other people makes me feel good. It's why I've done what I do for 16 years – that's more than a third of my life. Right now, my life is a metric fuckton of bullshit, and I can't cope the way I cope…because business is so slow that I'm probably going to have to pick up a second job (I will totally come over and mow your lawn if you pay me, haha.) I miss working. I mean SIXTEEN YEARS doing my job, and I've never had it ever be this slow. I miss all of you so fucking much….I love helping fix problems. :( 

    So I've done what I always tell you not to do. The one thing that truly fucks with me (mentally) is scary bills and no way to pay them, and of course now I keep thinking my money work to death. I am like a walking advertisement for how to make your money spell NOT manifest at the moment. HA!

    I know I will get through this (I have dealt with several fucktons of bullshit in my life,) but I guess enough people have asked what happened and what's going on (some of you are my social media friends, so you know,) and I felt like I had to let you all know that yes, it's true, I am struggling. I am a fighter, and I will keep fighting (and trying to not obsess over my money spells so they will freaking manifest,) but if you talk to me and I seem a little distant, now you know there is a reason. I mean, when your college friends want to start a GoFundMe for you like mine suggested they do for me, you know shit is bad. :/ The NinjaCat family is definitely struggling and not above charity at this point. *sigh*

    You are always welcome to speak to me privately on the matter. So many of my clients and readers are my friends that I want you all to know how much you guys mean to me. I know some of you who already heard about it have called and texted, and I appreciate it so much. If there is one thing I love about my job it is how I feel like I have a big family of friends who I love and who love me back. I am truly blessed to have met so many of you. I wish everyone had a job where they were excited to get up in the morning and work like I am. 

    OK, I'm done crying. I'm getting off the soapbox. I feel better, like a weight is off my chest. That tells me maybe those money spells will manifest soon after all. It gives me some optimism, which is sorely needed. And I promise we can have some fun articles soon, OK? No one wants to hear more of old sad sack over here crying, right? Right. 

    Love,

    ~Cat

    PS- No I'm not cursed, and yes I checked and I blessed the house and cleansed and did all that stuff. Sometimes life is just shitty. 

    PPS- Thank you to the people who sent me thank you emails for helping you with my spellwork over the last few weeks. All of you truly helped make me feel better, more so than normal. I always love happy updates, but I really needed to hear it the last few weeks. 

  • A Hot Foot Story

    Good Afternoon, my Occulties,

    Today I have a fun story to share, but since a client was involved, I had to ask permission to share. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of all involved. 

    My client, who I will refer to as "R", had been working for a small business where she shared an office with a woman I will call "L," who would clip her toenails at her desk frequently. Yes, you read that right. 😛 This, understandably, was disgusting to R, and after the first or second time it had happened, she had asked L to stop doing it or to at least do it in the bathroom. In reply to the first request, L had gone on about that R only wore "ugly orthopedic-looking shoes" which meant she didn't understand how imperative it was to not allow one's toenails not to become overgrown, and if she ever tried to wear the fashionable heels that L wore, she would be more understanding, etc, etc. 

    Now, look here, kids, your old friend Cat also likes fancy shoes with big heels, and like a normal person, I clip my toenails in private (often after a shower,) not at my desk. :P 

    That said, my client is a nice person, and a tolerant one, apparently, as she put up with this, as much as it disgusted her, for over a year. Meanwhile, L kept regularly trimming her toenails at her desk until one day another coworker sees it. It wasn't the boss, it was someone at about the same level as both L and R. This person goes and complains to the boss. Then L gets called in and reprimanded for clipping her toenails at her desk ("What if a client saw that!") and for reasons only known to L, she decides my client is the one who RATTED HER OUT. So she turns on my client. She says a lot of lies, calls her lazy, and a bad worker, dishonest, scheming – you name it! And dear, sweet R, who has put up with this toenail-clipping butthead for a year (someone who has talked down to her more than once well before this happened,) is about to snap, as now L is making others think terribly of her, so when it happens that L clips her toenails at her desk several weeks later, R just about snaps. When L leaves them right on her desk (ugh!) and goes to use the washroom, R grabs 3 toenails, wraps them up in a paper, and hides them in her purse.

    This is where I come in. R comes to me and tells me her story of woe. And when she's done she says "And I have three of her toenail clippings."

    "Oh, perfect," I say. "So did you want revenge, or did you just want her to leave, or what?" After some discussion, we formulated a plan, and she dropped the toenails into the mail. When they arrived, I immediately put them in a vial and poured a little hotfoot oil on them, and said "(Name of target), your feet burn, and itch, swell and ache until you are far from (client's name), and stay far from (client's name) forever!" while shaking these toenails in the vial. I let those toenails soak for nine days, shaking them once each day while saying the command 9 times. There is a bit more to it, but you want the exciting results part, so as I'm doing this soaking of the toenails, R notices that L, is having "itchy feet." She shrugs it off as maybe she's looking for something and so finding a "false positive." L also seems "bitchier," but towards everyone.

    But my work was not yet done. After soaking these toenails for nine days, and saying the above chant, I write out a name paper, and place the soaked toenails into the center, sprinkling a powder upon them of my own creation…. It was not exactly a goofer dust (too harsh), or even a "black arts" (still too harsh) level of cursing powder, but it wasn't nice, either. I then folded the paper up in such a way as the toenails and powder would remain inside, and wrapped it with red and a sickly yellow color thread while saying a chant. Then I secured the package with little wax, and placed into a very small box, and mailed it off. As far as presentation goes, it didn't look like anything too exciting, but thankfully, R is someone I've worked with before, and wasn't looking for a fancy bit of pretty fluff – she wanted something that worked. When she received the package, she waited for L to leave the office, carefully removed the packet from the box WITHOUT TOUCHING IT TO HER BARE SKIN, and secured the packet in a private place where L would not see it, but would come into proximity to it. Then, she waited. >:)

    It was about 2 days later, that L came in wearing "unstylish" shoes. When R innocently asked what the problem was, L complained that she had an infected nail bed in one of her toes, but that it would pass in a few days. Within a week, L was noticeably limping. Then QUARANTINE. So, both L and R were relegated to working from home. And R sighed "Well, I can't tell if she's limping or anything on a Zoom meeting." Both of us were disappointed. :/ But we agreed to see if the situation changed for the better when they returned to work.

    Finally quarantine ended. The first day they were back, R noticed L wearing lovely, fancy, high heel shoes and asked after her foot (everyone had noticed her limping before the quarantine.) L told her that it was the strangest thing, that she'd had one toe get infected and it had spread to the one next to it, and had even somehow gotten into her pinky toe even though there were 2 toes between the infected two and the pinky (little) toe, and that just when she was about to call a doctor, they got stuck at home in quarantine and it "cleared up like it never happened." That she had thought about it and had thought it must be a specific pair of shoes she really loved because she was reasonably sure those had given her a mild case of athlete's foot right before the toenail infection. 

    Disappointed L's leg wasn't gangrenously hanging off of her (ha!), R smiled and acted as if this infection clearing up was good news. And she waited. About 3 days of being back at work, she noticed L was wearing flats and looking pained. "Oh no," R said, "Did you wear the bad shoes again?" (meaning the ones L had assumed had caused the problem.) "It's nothing," L said, "I think I just clipped my big toe too close to the nail bed." R, doing her best to look concerned, asks "Oh, did you just do that today?" (Meaning did she clip her toenails just a few hours previous). L shoots her a dark look, and then says "No, I won't clip my nails here again. Between you and me, R, I kind of wonder if there is something in our air system. I just don't feel right when I'm here. Maybe it's allergies or something, but I'm starting to wonder if maybe they sprayed some disinfectant or something in this building that I'm allergic to. And I mean, it's the same toes that are starting to bother me, so I would guess it's something in this building. It's very dirty here. I'm sure of it." 

    R just nods her head, tries not to smile, and tries to pretend to be concerned. Within about a week, L became progressively more uncomfortable, she's snapping at all of her coworkers, and her feet were clearly bothering her. Finally, L tells the boss that she either goes back to working from home, or she will quit, and the boss-lady basically tells her that's fine, consider herself looking for a job, she doesn't need her. So, my client is now working alone in what is now her own office, with no one there clipping their damn toenails at their desk and talking down to her. 

    As for L? As I said, R is a very nice person, and she really wanted to be sure that L didn't suffer any physical long-term illnesses. She checked up on her. Apparently, L's mystery illnesses and itchy and infected feet totally cleared up in about 3 days after leaving, "as if there had never been a problem." 

    Hope you all enjoyed that story! :) 

    ~Cat

     

  • How to Make an Undesired Person Stop Desiring You

    Hey Occulties,

    As we've entered a Venus retrograde, I've found myself (rather unsurprisingly) getting more "bring my ex back," and "make my ex go away forever and ever," requests. See, Venus retrograde has a nifty habit of making your ex come around – and of course, that doesn't mean the ex you like is coming around…it can also mean the person from your past that you detest is trying to make a come back. So, yes, this is a fantastic time to work those Return to Me workings, but what about that ex that all of the sudden thinks it would be amazing to get back together with you (and you definitely don't agree)?

    For starters, you don't need magic to fix this most of the time. If I'm with someone when an ex tries to reconnect, I will casually mention my spouse or boyfriend, like "Oh, yes my husband loves that show, too!" in conversation. MOST (but not all) will back off right there once they are clear that I'm unavailable. For those who say "Oh, but your partner doesn't need to know," I would reply that I would know and I don't lie to my partner, so they would know, too. If I'm single, I will cut the conversation short with that I am late for getting ready for my date. MOST (but not all) will again back off there. For those that won't, I become a bit more curt and say "It never worked out between us and I'm not interested in revisiting if it could work. I appreciate your friendship, but that's all I can offer you – my friendship." 

    The above paragraph? That's going to fix your problem MOST OF THE TIME. Just be polite, direct, and make it clear that you aren't interested. Try to avoid being unkind, as if you are unkind, they become defensive and rude. 

    If this person is really just reaching out from the past – if they are not someone you even speak to a few times a year, but they found you on social media and you're wondering what rock they crawled out from under to find you (it happens,) and you tried to make it clear you're not interested and they still won't leave you be, here is something you can do magically. Please remember, this isn't going to be suggested in situations where you just hate your ex but you share kids or property or pets and need to deal with them. I like to think of this more like kicking a skeleton back into the closet, ha ha, like that person you dated for 2 weeks about 10 years ago, and figured you'd never have to see them again. ;) 

    So you will need:
    Gymnena sylvestre powder*
    Poppy seeds
    White vinegar
    A small scrap of paper
    A small jar or vial**
    A pen with black ink

    Try to keep, in your mind's eye throughout the entire working, the image of the person you wish to keep away from you looking sour and uninterested. If you need to use an image to help you keep this in your mind's eye, that is OK. Many people print one out or use their phone and place it near to their altar while they work.

    Write the person's name on a scrap of paper using a NON-WATER-SOLUBLE black-inked pen. Now, fill your jar about 1/2 full of poppy seeds and then place the paper into the jar, sprinkle a small amount of the gymnema inside, and then fill to the top with poppy seeds. Add vinegar. Place the lid on top securely, and hold it in your right hand, and say "(Full name of undesired person,) turn your attentions away from me. I draw out the sweetness you feel for me, and replace it with a sour taste," nine times, then say "as is my will, so be it!" Then place this in a freezer (if possible) to totally cool their feelings. 

    I hope that helps! And of course if you have questions, please feel free to contact me! 

    ~Cat

     

    *I wasn't born yesterday and I know more than one of you will just be like "really Cat? REALLLLLLLLYYYY?" and not get this. OK, be like that. 😛 And now go find the most bitter thing you have in the house. An unripe lemon, perhaps? Squeeze some juice from that in before the vinegar. It won't work as well but it also means you won't have to buy a bunch of something, so… you make your decisions. 😉

    ** For the extra lazy in the rant room, you can actually use an ice cube tray, but again, it won't work as well.