Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

about

“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

If You’re Having an Icky Time, Try These Fixes To Fix Up Your Life!

January 28, 2020

Hey everyone,

So I'm sorry about dropping off a bit for about a week there. If it's any consolation, last week was like the longest decade of my life – all condensed in about a week! 😉 BUT it taught me that I can work even in the worst conditions possible, which I always kind of suspected, but now have proven to myself. So, to broadly answer questions, yes John survived his car accident intact, however our truck did not. 😛 Also he was not so injured as to hang out here with us all day while I work for the rest of his life, it was mostly whiplash and he got his leg stabbed with something from the dashboard, but the wound was small enough to not require stitches. He also got his hand a bit smooshed but it is working perfectly now. I was not in the vehicle, and was unharmed. And for the person who asked, no, my birds were also not in the vehicle, and are their normal boring selves, and beeping at nothing and chewing anything wooden to bits.

So we're back to normal here at my home, which I know was a concern for a few of you because I had to switch some appointments around last week. The main change is that it is harder for me to get somewhere farther than a mile but not really because Uber exists and I use it….and clearly, I don't travel for my job, so that basically does not affect any of you. ;)

It did come to my attention that several of you also had the LONGEST WEEK EVERRRR last week, so I thought that today might be a good time to discuss some strategies to make ourselves NOT have a week like that again any time soon. 😉 But, before I do, keep in mind, just because something bad happens, it does not mean that someone is cursing you or the planets are aligned against you to keep you in a perpetual state of "why is everything such bullshit right now?" What it comes down to is, sometimes unpleasant things just happen, and also most of us are slacking with our "maintenance work," on our lives.

So, to begin, cleansing and blessing are important things to keep doing for yourself, even something as easy as say, a monthly road opener working. Again, NO ONE can prevent misfortune from befalling them here or there (it's just part of life,) but sometimes, the problems befalling us do arise from an accumulation of negative or unhelpful people and energies, and cleansing and blessing yourself on a regular basis does help to prevent this accumulation of negativity from building up and creating more uncomfortable or unhelpful situations in your life than just happenstance would supply. Even a salt-bath, as I've recommended, can offer some help here. There are a myriad of "uncrossing" style baths out there. Remember, to REMOVE a condition (in this case, negative energies,) you would wash DOWN (head to toe,) and if you do not have a tub, you can actually make the tea for the bath in a large bowl, and use a wash cloth, and wash downward. The benefit of washing using a bowl is that you can also throw the wash water off of your property, whereas if you're in your own tub, that might be more difficult (unless you put a large wash tub inside your tub.) 😉 Traditionally you would recite Psalm 23 ("The Lord is my shepherd,") while bathing, but if you feel uncomfortable reciting a psalm, you can also say "I remove negativity from my self, and all things which would harm me are removed. I am made pure and free from stain," or similar. I personally believe that bathing to remove negativity is superior to smoking yourself with sage or doing candle work, but I also know how you people are with baths. O_O I swear, getting readers and clients alike to take ritual baths is like trying to pull teeth, and if I tell you to do a floorwash? Fuggetaboutit. (Oh, also, ritually cleansing your home using a floorwash regularly is also recommended. I love chinese wash, as it is very much like a roadopening floor wash, but since you already stopped absorbing that when I suggested you clean yourself and your home, let's move on.)

Like many of my readers, I also enjoy candle spells, so if you really can't be bothered to take a ritual bath, or ritually clean your home, a simple candle spell you might use to bless yourself and your home would be to get a white candle (tea lights are OK, but please do not use something as small as a candle for a birthday cake,) and anoint this UP (base to wick,) with Holy Anointing Oil (virtually any respectable occult shop should carry this, it's recipe is given in the Bible,) using seven upward strokes of the hand and then light this, and say the 23rd psalm, OR if you are uncomfortable using a Bible verse, you could say something like "As this candle burns, so do my blessings grow, and when this candle is burnt out, I am still blessed by it's light. Good things and positive energies surround me. Positive energies from this light transform my world and bring positive changes to my life. As is my will, so be it!"

You can use the above very basic blessing working as often as you'd like. Let's just be honest here – you can't have too many blessings! ;)

If you feel like your home has been full of disagreement and negativity, you might try smoking it with white sage or cedar wood (although this can be very hard on the lungs of children and pets, and even toxic to birds,) to clear out any negative energies. You might also try doing a honey jar on the whole dang household. One way I've done this is to find a little piece of olive branch with leaves still attached (this is, without a doubt, far easier and cheaper if you live in certain areas or have friends and/or family living in those areas where olive trees grow) and I write the name of each member of the household on a leaf, and write "peaceful and loving" on the reverse side of each leaf I've inscribed with a name, and place this into a jar half full of sugar, and half full of honey, with a few drops of peaceful home oil added. You may be able to also purchase olive branches at a florist as they are used decoratively. Once I've filled the jar full with the branch and sugar, honey, and Peaceful Home oil, I light blue candles on top every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the household is peaceful again. Even a small birthday candle or tea light can work in this instance, and even white candles are ok to substitute for the blue.

If your romantic relationship seems to be a lot of arguing about nothing and being fussy with each other for no discernible reasons… well, first off, are you legitimately sure there is no reason? Are you? Because rarely is that the case, but I would be mistaken to say it never happens. If for-reals and for-sures, and all that, there is no reason you can think of that you two are fussing and arguing, then by all means, try the following solution (but if you know the reason fully well, and yeah, it exists, please move on to the next paragraph): First I would do a roadopener spell to clear away all obstacles to you having good communication and a functional relationship, then I would do a honey jar, or if you hate honey jars (because you're too cool to just have something like an empty jar and honey at your house,) you could also use Adam and Eve OR Chuparosa oil (some people define the use of Chuparosa differently, here it is to make a more functional relationship between 2 people) and anoint a pink candle UP (base to wick,) using seven strokes of the right hand. Now roll this in basic table sugar (if it's an glass encased candle, using a sharp instrument, gently push 5 holes into the top wax of the candle, add a drop of oil to each hole, and then sprinkle a little sugar, and if it's a tea light, swirl a few drops of oil on top in a clockwise motion, then add a sprinkle of sugar,) and then while envisioning you and your partner happy and together, say "I draw to us happiness, and unity, love, and companionship, that we are strongest together, as is my will, so be it," and allow this to burn out.

Of course, let's just be fair here. I've been in my fair share of relationships in my life, and sometimes it was me being an asshat. Sometimes it was him being an asshat. Sometimes it was other people who generally wanted one or the other of us for themselves being an asshat. Sometimes the asshattery was so widespread that I couldn't pin down the main asshat in the situation. 😉 HOWEVER, rare was it where there was no discernible problems causing the fussing and fighting. And to this day, even if my partner is being a complete knob and is the king of asshattery, you can bet that I am probably fueling this even just a little because I'm responding to him. So, if you're having some problems, there are many solutions….maybe you need to improve communication, perhaps you could do some work to soften someone's anger, or to bring reconciliation. One thing I am going to drive home is DO NOT USE "RED" MAGIC WHEN YOU ARE FUSSING AND FIGHTING WITH YOUR TARGET. It will amplify anger in many cases. Now, you could try the work outlined above (and it certainly won't harm the situation,) but realistically, you need to have a quick think about how you might be aggravating the situation (I do get that someone else can be the problem-person, and you are not the problem person, but as I said, sometimes their asshattery is making you not be your best you,) and try to stop engaging in any problematic behaviors should you identify any. Next, try to do some work to improve communication, use some reconciliation, and I shit you not, do a honey jar. When I have been with people who are so freaking immature that they will do anything they know annoys you and pick on you until you finally snap at them (yes, I too have dated such assholes, and spent hours of my life trying to not give in to that bait,) and I was still of a mind to stay with someone that obnoxious (haha, because I'd probably deal with it once or twice,) I would use a honey jar, and soon I wasn't dealing with someone who just wanted to pick a fight so I could look like the bad guy. This obnoxious jerk would soon be nicer, more affectionate, and more loving.

Keep in mind, if someone is constantly full of toxic behavior – if this is not unfamiliar territory for you and your partner, – you can only "fix" a jerk so much. For example, my main problem is that I can be emotionally distant. I'm a workaholic, and it can make me seem cold. So when someone tells me where I could have improved, it's like "Well, Cat, you could have been more affectionate, and perhaps used more tact when you told me I was being clingy." So, if someone was working on me, they would probably want to use love-drawing work AND communication work. This would make me more affectionate, and more communicative when someone feels I'm being distant. However, in keeping with my statement that you can only fix a jerk so much, I would likely revert to seeming somewhat distant and unaffectionate when the spells began to wear off. If someone is very needy for affection and for me to talk to them for hours on end about their feelings (which, when you do that for a job all day like I do, can sometimes be a tall order,) the person working on me would soon realize that it's my nature to be this way, and it's a lot of work to make me any other way. 😉 See, even I'm a jerk who can only be fixed so much, ha ha. 😉

Next, let's move on to money issues…. Unexpected expenses are a problem for everyone. No matter how well you plan, an emergency can arise. While it's nice to believe that you're able to save for an emergency, sometimes you just spent the emergency fund on another emergency, and so you're out of cash. The best thing to do in a cash emergency is offer prayers to St Expedite. Almost without fail, this has really helped me cover emergency/surprise bills, because he really does help quickly. I've had amazing results. Of course, some of you are going to say "Oh, Cat, I would rather put out my eyes than ask a saint for any assistance – that so goes against my beliefs, that I hate you for even suggesting it." 😛 Well…I've offered this spell a few times, and it's a fast working one, but there is my most basic money spell here, (it's the one with the jar candle and irish moss flakes), and this also is great (and can be done alongside work with St Expedite or by itself,) for bringing money to you in a hurry. This working can apply to bringing in more business, or better pay. However, if you're still spending everything you have on something stupid (for example, if you're buying 4 antique Coca-Cola bottle caps for $5000, instead of paying the rent and the electric company,) please understand part of the problem is you. 😉 You need to spend your earnings on your BILLS first.

And no, I don't offer or teach lottery spells. In my experience (and I know a lot of occultists who tried super hard to win powerball,) there are more eerie "Oh, it didn't work but look at this," stories, and so far zero stories of anyone winning a jackpot. 😛

I'm not saying the above is a cure-all for all ills. If you find yourself sitting in a big pile of "everything sucks, and I'm broke and my partner hates me," I'd recommend cleansing and blessing above all else. Don't assume that you're cursed (it's incredibly rare that such is the case,) but DO try to cleanse yourself and your home, and then bless yourself as needed. You might be surprised how quickly everything turns around. :)

Best wishes,

~Cat
Reconciliation on a Horribly-Toxic Ex May Not Be Worth It

January 8, 2020

Hey there my lovelies,

I think we can all agree that the most-likely reason people contact me is to bring back an ex. Generally-speaking, at least 1/3 of these exes are of the miserable and awful sort that, – were the person wanting them back not going through an incredible amount of emotional distress, – no one in their right mind would suggest anyone ever dating this person. Of course, the argument is often made that the heart wants what it wants, and this person inquiring after help just so happens to want this miserable excuse of a human being.

What may be less evident to that person, or to my readers, is that reconciliation magic may bring this person back, but the likelihood is that they are going to be the same miserable asshole that they always were. As I often say, Just because you make a jerk love you, that doesn't make them not a jerk. And, for what it's worth, I get it…they were a lot nicer until (they became a drunk or drug addict, they took a new job, they met a friend you don't like, etc.,) so if you can just clean up the problem that caused them to turn into an asshole, then they could be "fixed."

Well…let me just say that if you go into a love-situation believing you can save or fix a person, you're probably going to fail as well as make yourself miserable in the attempt.

I realize that many of you will try anyhow, because, as I'm often told, the heart wants what it wants, and you want that person in particular. I have also loved a jerk or five in my time on earth, and felt the same way. 😛 So I ask you, are you willing to accept the following to get your super-toxic, evil ex back?

This person will continue to behave in selfish, churlish, or unkind ways, just as they did for a long time before the break up when they return to you.

Trying to fix a person or help them with their own problems (when they don't want to work on themselves) is an uphill battle, often one uphill, in waist-deep mud, while there is a huge avalanche coming down the mountain. Are you ready to first get this person back, and then spend the time working on them to hopefully make a dent in their behaviors? Are they selfish or self-defeating? Is it going to wear you out mentally just to deal with them for months? Because this is what is ahead of you if you really hope to stop their toxic behaviors that continue to tear apart your relationship with them.

You will also likely have to work on yourself, which can be difficult when you're saddled with someone who has their own set of toxic behaviors. If you refuse to address your own toxic/problematic behaviors (and in most cases, both of you have them,) the relationship will likely crumble again.

I want you to consider all of that if you want your super-toxic and super-bad ex back, as I've had more than one person tell me that it came as a surprise. Look, maybe you're just seeking closure, and in that case, a brief reunion should be everything you want it to be, and should help you move on. But if you've decided one little spell is going to reunite you and send you both back into each other's arms, gloriously free of all problems forever, then…no, it very likely won't. In the best situations for reconciliation, the couple is generally a very functional couple who have recently had an argument or something relatively trivial that has set them apart. In a less-than-optimal, but very-fixable situation, the couple have had ongoing issues (generally with communication, though sometimes caused by money or distance,) which do not necessarily spring from habitually-expressed toxic-behavior patterns, that finally lead to a break up. In a horrible situation, someone is in love with a toxic person who is selfish, often has substance-abuse problems, is dishonest, manipulative, and relatively narcissistic, and has found themselves single as the toxic ex generally did not have some absolutely unfair and ridiculous request fulfilled in the manner they desired (or as quickly as they expected). If you think you're fixing a narcissist with a single reconciliation spell, then good luck on that. :P

As I'd said above, I can relate to desiring someone who was a total scumbag jerk head. I did eventually pull my head out of my own behind and realize "Hey, there are a lot better things than this person in this world," and moved on to someone much better, though usually this came after drawing the toxic jerk back into my life two or three times (only for them to create the very same mess each time.) It's something a lot of us do. I'm not of the mind that you can just tell someone to move on, because that's easier said than done.

And of course, there will be those of you reading this who instantly decide that their ex is the most evil thing to ever exist, or that nothing will ever get better even if they try to fix things with magic, when this is also possibly not the case. Like I said above, I get requests where I can't really understand why that person desires the person that they do as much as they do (because from a third person perspective, it's pretty confusing that you want someone back after they did all the crappy things they did to you,) but on the other side of that, I also get people who are "done" and "wouldn't lower themselves to dealing with that again," from others wherein the "evil ex," did something like had the audacity to get the flu, take some medication, and missed a date because they were in bed with flu, a fever, and asleep. I think that's a bit much. 😛 It's right to forgive and try to cut someone some slack here and there. We're not always perfect human beings, after all. I can think of a few relationships in my youth where, at the time, I blamed the young man for making things not work, but in retrospect, it was my 20 something dumb head that really fudged it all up. It's easy to see other's mistakes, but not always easy to see your own sometimes. 😦

What I want you to consider is whether or not you really want this person in your life if they are toxic, or if you just weren't ready to separate from this toxic person and so you want them back for a little while (closure)? Do you want to put in the additional work of trying to heal really deeply set toxic behavior patterns in yourself and/or your ex? Try to use your head in this, because all too often, I find people putting all this effort to get someone back – someone awful, someone I'd tell any of you to cross the street if this person was walking down it, someone just memorably sh*tty, – only to say "This isn't really what I want for myself, now that I have it back. This person is still a toxic jerkface moron." Making a functional relationship with a toxic horrid ex is very difficult.

Alright, that's my education for today on love stuffs.

~Cat
Apathy vs Spellwork

January 8, 2020

Hey everyone,

Remember when I had a few hours of peace and quiet to write my articles, which made them flow so much better? 😉 I do, though admittedly, I'd remember those times far better than any of you. 😉 Luckily for all of us (you because you likely enjoy my blog, me because I enjoy my peace and mofuggin quiet,) those times are finally returning around the end of this week. 😀 That's really good, because I miss writing well…but mostly I miss peace and quiet (though that 2 little birds often punctuate this quiet with birdie sounds is actually not a bother – I'm immune to that, lol.)

Today I'd like to discuss an old enemy of mine (and possibly yours as well) – apathy. While my apathy tends to manifest itself towards housework, it is a pernicious beast that, for some people, can affect spellwork as well. :(

A handful of times every year, I will get the following complaint: "Cat, I was doing this novena/spell that is said/cast over several days and after a day or so, I just felt like I couldn't find the time and stopped doing it." Well, alright, we live in a time where people are used to instant gratification, but let's just be fair, here, kids, – you need to put the work in if you want the desired result to come out. Apathy can be borne of depression and not just plain old laziness, so I do understand that you might "not normally be like this," but in this case (and it is one of those special things,) you need to kick your depression in the face and do the work anyhow. Yep, that can be difficult. Maybe you're super busy and you deal with everyone else's problems before your own like I do (I know many social workers, psychiatrists, and nurses who feel like this,) which makes you extra tired and want to just enjoy that whole 30 minutes of waking time you have to yourself instead of spellcasting, but guess what? You still need to put that work in. I can relate (if you think there are times I'd rather just watch Netflix over wanting to do prosperity work or other some-such maintenance work for myself, you're right,) but if you give in to apathy, your situation will not change.

I propose you look at it a bit like taking medication for a health issue. If you don't take your full course – even if the timing is a bit inconvenient, – your problem might return and/or get worse. This is very similar to having to do a novena (which is generally to say a prayer and light a candle once a day for nine days,) or a spell that lasts several days (which is generally a week or so.) It's only a brief period of time, and then you're going to have the desired improvement in your life manifesting shortly.

Further, ask yourself the following, – if it's really too difficult for you to do multiple days of work, do you really want the thing you're working towards? If you told me I had to, say, wash dishes for 8 hours a day (I HATE WASHING DISHES) for 9 straight days, and then I'd have an amazing month at work where everyone paid on time and all consultations were with awesome clients looking to get a lot of work done, I'd do those damn dishes for 8 days. 😉 I'm reasonably sure that a few hours of your time spellcasting or saying a prayer over the course of several days is worth whatever you're requesting. :)

So please, don't let apathy destroy your spellwork. 😛 This helpful PSA has been brought to you by some lady who needs to apply the same reasoning to that sink full of dirty dishes. 😉

~Cat
Revenge Against Someone Who Has Treated You Badly

January 6, 2020

Hey Occulties,

As many of you have no doubt guessed, a great deal of my requests are love-related, and generally related to retrieving a lost loved one. While that's all fine and well, and to be expected, what happens when you realize your ex was/is a terrible human being?

Now, I'd just like to say that I do not feel this way personally about most of my exes. Sure, they made mistakes (but so did I), and that made it so we just couldn't make things work, but in the case of maybe 2 people in my entire romantic life, those 2 guys were MONSTERS, whereas any one else I might call my ex is probably a pretty good guy, it just didn't work for us.

So it is that more than one of my readers or clients have realized that their ex is also a complete monster. 😛 And when you've been free of a monster for a short while, you often get angry that you tolerated this person for any length of time, and you feel like getting a little bit of revenge for all of the rotten things this person put you through. No, I'm not saying this person gave you a bad birthday present once, or got drunk at your school reunion and blurted out that you have all of One Direction's albums and play them constantly – I mean this person did something like cleaned out your bank account to buy themselves a new wardrobe, and then ran off with your former best friend, using what was left of your money to take the ex best friend on a whirlwind tour of Europe, or something equally awful (that actually isn't even close to the worst monster-of-an-ex story I've ever heard,) and now that you're through with this jerk…you want your revenge.

I'm sure many of you have heard of the traditional beef-heart spell to break the heart of someone who has broken yours. This is a wonderful spell, and if you've the mind to do it for revenge against this type, I would tell you it should work wonders for you. But the average joe/jane is not apt to even know where he or she would get a beef heart, and several people in this day and age would also not have the stomach to work on it. 😉 Heck, I know people who can't even pull the giblets out of a supermarket turkey without turning a little green around the gills, and those are wrapped up in paper. With that in mind, I present this revenge spell which should be a bit easier for the modern spellcaster to locate all ingredients (and do the spell without wanting to barf.) Just a note, this will work better when placed near where the target will walk or frequently travel.

You will need:
Devil's shoestring piece
Spanish Moss
A good sized VERY HOT pepper (fresh)
Heavy black thread
A sewing needle
A sharp knife, box-cutter, or X-acto knife
A black or red very-fine-point permanent marker (I use Sharpie brand)
A medium sized jar with lid
A cannister of salt (table salt is fine)
Tin foil
A physical item from your target (blood, fingernail clippings, worn clothing, hair, etc.)*

The pepper can be any pepper of your choosing – scotch bonnet peppers, habenero, or heck, even a ghost pepper if you're up for it. 😉 The hotter the pepper, the better.

What we're going to do here is make your ex basically have a rage fit (or several,) that then reflect onto this person (harming only the target and his/her reputation) so that everyone thinks they are a crazy angry jerk and they hate this person, whilst simultaneously protecting you from further damage by this person. :)

Start by writing the target's full name on the devil's shoestring. This is possible, so don't write to tell me it isn't. 😉 As you write the intended target's name, keep an image of them in your mind's eye, preferably with an expression of anger and misery. For some people, it is easier to keep an image of the target nearby to remain focused. Now wrap your personal item (or place it next to) around the devil's shoestring – still keeping the mental image of your target in your mind's eye, – and then place the bit of spanish moss around this. Cut a slit in your pepper, and place the spanish moss/devil's shoestring/personal item into the pepper. Thread your needle, and stitch 9 black X's into the pepper to stitch it closed. As you make each X, and keeping the mental image of your target in your mind's eye, say: "(Target's name), your anger and your rage enflame with every breath, and your rage destroys you." Once you have stitched this closed with 9 X's, gently wrap the pepper in tinfoil, placing the "shiny" side against the pepper, and saying "(Name of target,) all that you do and all that you say to hurt another reflects back onto you," saying this a total of 9 times. Again (since I will be asked), do try to keep a mental image of your target in your mind's eye as you do this. Now open your jar, and fill this about 1/3 to 1/2 full with salt. Place your foil wrapped pepper into the jar, and then fill the remaining space in the jar with salt, then secure the lid on top tightly.

This next part will involve you holding the jar, and shaking it a prescribed amount of times while saying a specific chant. The nice thing with this chant is that you will be counting off how many times you shake the jar, so you don't need to keep a mental tally. So, hold the jar in both hands, say the chant, and where you say you are giving it a shake, give it one good shake each time. Hopefully that makes sense. You need to keep the mental image of your target in your mind's eye as you do this, and I also envision flames and black smoke traveling from me into the jar as I do this. The chant is as follows, "(Name of target,) you who are a villain to me, your true self is now laid bare for all to see. Your anger grows, your temper blows, your true nature everyone knows. Any harm or anger directed at another or at me, just reflects back at you and only hits thee. As I give this jar its (first/second/third/etc) shake, on the 9th its power awakes!" After the 9th shake, say "This spell shall not reverse nor place upon me any curse – as is my will, so be it!"

While I recommend hiding or burying the jar close to the target or a place where they frequently pass, if this isn't possible you can bury it at a crossroads, OR if even that is impossible, place it where it will remain undisturbed in your home (though if the target isn't living with you, this is the least effective place to put the jar.)

This should make your monster ex lose his or her temper frequently, and make them go on tirades around others, effectively making others hate them or distance themselves from this person. It may even land this person in a psychiatric hold if they act crazy enough. 🙂 It basically is twofold…it causes unreasonable anger AND makes everything harmful they do towards you or another just reflect on their character. 🙂

I'm sure there will be questions, so feel free to contact me. 🙂

~Cat

*This needs to be a physical item, not a photograph, signature, or "something someone touched once." You want a STRONG bond, and an image, signature or "something someone touched once," is not going to provide that. This spell is designed for revenge against someone you had, at one time, had a very intimate relationship with, so you should have access to this. Presumably someone (or several someones) will come to me and argue that no, they don't have anything like this because they (or their target) is a neatfreak and anyhow this was ages ago that this person wronged them, and etc, etc, etc. For what it's worth, I certainly would not have a personal item from someone I broke things off with several years ago, either, and it's pretty unlikely I'd even have anything like that if a few months had passed since we broke things off. 😛 HOWEVER, there are myriad revenge spells which do not require a personal item. If you don't have a witness sample that comes directly from the body of your target, please try a different spell. Asking me for substitutions for the personal item, and then giving me your excuses as to why you do not have this is not going to change the fact that it is required for this spell, and there is not a substitution. If you're really sure you need to use this very spell, then you know how to get something from your ex that you can use in revenge workings. I've known people to ask that the person snail mail them something (spit to seal the envelope,), or to stop by the ex's place and use the bathroom, etc, etc. Be creative.

**As always, someone will decide that they don't want to hurt their ex and will become desirous of breaking the curse. Simply locate the jar, uncap it, spill the salt out (I'd put the salt in the toilet and flush it,) clip the stitches on the pepper and separate the items, and burn the personal item and devil's shoestring, saying "(Name of target) I release you from this curse, and all of its effects." Throw away the pepper, thread, spanish moss, and jar – even best if you do this on trash day so that the remains are off of your property.
QYAM: November 2019 Edition

November 14, 2019

Hey there kids,

Well, it's definitely Mercury retrograde. 😉 I think between being very behind on a few replies (sorry,) and having rampant computer issues (I decided to wait until the Holiday deals come to get a new laptop, and so this one still stinks,) and the joy of everyone else's Mercury retrograde issues (emails not working, computer glitches, phone glitches, etc,) it's been a bit of an adventure. I also realized that I didn't post my communication spell article, then I went and read it, and it had some glaring problems with the composition, so it's still in drafts.

Yay, Mercury retrograde!

However, I've been very very eager to post a new QYAM article, so let's get this going! 🙂 The first one actually came to me when I woke up randomly a half hour before I usually do (so both Mr NinjaCat and my bird were asleep), so I guess it's a question I asked myself, haha.

Q: Can Mercury retrograde really affect large projects as well as smaller scale situations. For example, Disney+ just released its new streaming service during Mercury retrograde – was that a bad idea for them?

A: Let's be clear, ANY large scale project or product that has to do with technology is likely to have a few glitches when it's released. My father always told me if something is a new model or product (like a newer car, or a newer kind of tv or computer, a new advancement with an appliance, etc) to wait a year to buy it, because then you could be sure that they worked out most of the problems that they didn't foresee happening. It's good advice. HOWEVER, I do personally believe that Mercury retrograde can make these problems even more significant if the product is released during a Mercury retrograde.

I had mentioned the release of Disney+ earlier this week. Streaming service is not a new technology. This is something where society has used these services for a pretty good amount of time, and likely problems have been identified. I do understand that with anything like this you might have a few kinks all the same – either because the design has a flaw, or the app has a flaw, but most of these would be things where it is a trivial problem which is quickly repaired. However, there does seem to be a rampant amount of issues, and for problems which the company would have been aware could happen, and prevented. For example, it crashed pretty early on (or so I'm told,) obstensibly (I'm told) because too many people were using the app at once, people had issues getting the app to open, etc., and I personally believe that the fact that they launched during a Mercury retrograde is actually creating more issues with this app/service than one would normally have releasing a similar product outside of a retrograde.

So, if the average joe has problems with emails and texts and other electronic communications devices, probably one is best advised NOT to launch a large-scale technology-based product/service during Mercury retrograde.

However, what if your business is a bit more tangible, such as a physical product? What if, say, you make something as simple as cans for canned goods? I would say in these instances, the bigger concern is signing a new contract with a company, so if we're using canned goods as an example, either you will want to wait to sign the contract with those who want their goods canned OR you would want to wait until after a Mercury retrograde to sign the contract to send your canned goods to a particular store.

As I've said before, Mercury retrograde impacts those things which fall under the correspondence of Mercury, and certainly, aspects of technology and communication tend to be of paramount concern. While it works wonders for RE-ESTABLISHING, OR RECONNECTING, it is not very helpful for new business or new relationships – and it is also a big culprit of sending texts and emails into some weird delayed limbo state where they show up in the wrong folder or 3 days later or etc. 😉 So, yes, I do think it affects both large scale, and small scale projects.

Q: When I read books/stories/see movies/shows about magic, someone can do amazing things like fly, or go back in time, or immediately change their appearance! Why aren't there more spells like this?

A: Well, basically, the idea that magic gives you God-like powers makes for some very entertaining stories, doesn't it? And, if I'm being fair, more than one dusty old tome makes similar claims about this or that working, or dealing with this or that spirit, etc. Harry Potter would be horribly bland if Harry and his chums spent 2 hours practicing what looks more like a religious ritual to get an increase on their income rather than waving a wand and saying some words and having something thrilling happen immediately, wouldn't it?

So, the first part is entertainment. Stories people enjoy tend to be those which are fantastic in nature. Even when we watch a show where the people are supposed to be "normal" and average, they tend to live in lovely homes that poor people couldn't afford, we never see an eviction notice or hear people fighting next door or see them not having enough food to make supper – lady cops wear sexy clothes and huge earrings (which at least so far as I know is not allowed in uniform,) and during legal proceedings, the suspect almost always confesses. Well, right, because this isn't really anything to do with reality, it is just our stories coming as close as possible. While there are certainly SOME very realistic shows or books, we do tend to have a lot more of a love with the fantastic. So, let's just say what I've said more than once, – entertainment is for entertaining, not for telling the boring truth. 😉

But yes, there are those old spells that make some very fantastic sounding claims, right? So, what about this spell that claims "invisibility." I do believe that you can be "unnoticeable," TO A POINT. That is close to invisible. Does that mean I can scream "Hey look at me!" and you'll see right through me? No. In fact, it's a very simple process where if you're quiet and don't call attention to yourself, if you're not brazen about your actions as well, that the "invisibility working" basically makes people not notice you. I did this some years ago to show a friend, and almost got hit by a car crossing the street in broad daylight when there wasn't tons of traffic, nor did anyone go over 20-25 mph on that part of the road. I've walked around with no one even looking at me or noticing me (including close friends) doing this. So, historically, this type of working was often used by thieves, or people who were doing something else illegal. The person would use the working and, presuming they weren't making the noise of a marching band, they could move undetected, though generally still at night. So, do I believe invisibility spells work – I do, but I do not believe that they literally render you transparent.

This spell here claims it can transport you in an instant to any place on the planet…. Well, alright… Do I think you're going to literally teleport using this? No. And if we look when this was made, probably those using it had no idea jetplanes would ever even exist. Not in their wildest dreams. So, what it is more likely amounting to is to be able to SEE anywhere on the planet in a scrying device. However, if used today, it might also get you some really cheap, really great plane tickets for tomorrow to whatever destination.

And this spell here that says it will give you the appearance of a king? The spell itself would likely predate photographs. At some point, people rarely, if ever, laid eyes on their sovereign. Sure, he or she might be on your coinage, and maybe you'd even see a painting at some point, but the real person? No. This would be similar to the "invisibility" workings above. Why do you need to appear as a noble? Well this will give you the behavior and carriage of one, perhaps, but no, I don't think you're going to look like Prince William the moment you finish. It might be useful if you're working in a high powered business situation to have the demeanor of someone with wealth and power, so it's still useful, but I don't think it will further you in your desire to be the doppelganger for a famous royal. ;)

So, while spells can do some fantastic things, I think perhaps the realm of them being absolutely wildly fantastic is more the exception than the rule.

Q: When someone asks you what you would, spellwork-wise, do in x situation, is it different than what you would tell them to do if they had the same situation in their life?

A: Most likely my advice as to what they should do is different than what I personally would spellcast, and there is a good reason. Assuming they are doing the work themselves, are they practiced in magic at all? If yes, is it the same kind of spellwork I specialize in? If yes, then if they're my level of expertise and we both use mostly rootwork/Hoodoo, then I will advise them to work as I would work. Otherwise, it would be unfair of me to suggest someone act as I would.

I've said this before, but some of the easiest-LOOKING spells are the hardest to do. Some time ago, there was a post in a group I'm in where someone claimed a common practice to bind a man to you romantically did not work. The fact is that it DOES work, but it requires focus and intent, and frankly enough of both that a lot of people do not pull it off well. Further the practice is very common, but despite that, no one brings up the fact that if your man is a philanderer, it won't prevent him from cheating, necessarily…just perhaps from WALKING OUT. And lastly, as someone said in that group, you can have any number of ingredients you use in a spell that appear in cooking dishes or in other common day to day practices. Just having, for example, ammonia in your home (for cleaning your windows and your chrome items,) doesn't mean you're constantly dispelling evil spirits when you clean the windows. 😉 If used with intent, it could accomplish that, however.

Digressing back, so we can say that a beginner or novice isn't going to have the same amount of practice, and their focus and intention will not be a honed skill. Furthermore, there will be practices which are unfamiliar to them. And, let's not forget, I have plenty of spell supplies at my disposal. Most people do not. So if someone says "Cat, I want to get my ex to contact me, and I lit a candle a few times, but I have no real practice in magic," I am probably going to ask what spell supplies they DO HAVE, and then try to suggest something simple and that works well for beginners. I am also likely to suggest one or two spells, not that they do a marathon of workings like I might if in the same situation.

If you wanted to ask me for spell coaching, so you, as a beginner, could do the work yourself, but also wanted to know what I would do in the same situation with my level of practice, that's all fine and well, and I'll tell you, but honestly, it isn't helpful to give someone instruction that is past their level of understanding. I'm not trying to be elitist, but it's like telling someone to do a trigonometry problem when they just learned how to add and subtract – they won't be able to do that yet. Learning comes in steps, and so trying to help someone means understanding the step they're on.

Q: Do you sell or give away any of your bird's feather's for spells that use parrot feathers?

A: No. While I don't suspect most people are awful enough to do such a thing, I would be endangering him to allow others to use his feathers as someone could easily ask for them because they actually wanted to cause him harm in an effort to hurt me. HOWEVER, parrot feathers are usually available for sale – look on Amazon, Etsy, or even in some craft stores. If you don't know which birdie molted out those feathers, it is a lot less likely that they will be used to harm the bird who they came from.

That said, it causes him no harm for me to use his feathers in spells for you. 🙂 And if you have a pet parrot, you can use your own bird's feathers in spells. 🙂

Q: Could we use spellwork/magic to combat climate change?

A: This was an interesting question, so I had to share….my answer may be a bit broad.

I don't know as I'd tell you something silly like "Here is a spell that will reduce carbon emissions overnight." Or "cast this and the plastic in our oceans will no longer be a problem." This is a very shallow understanding of this problem if I did. HOWEVER, let's say I have a very eco-minded client who wishes to really start making a good change. What you would want to do is to promote technologies and changes that would combat the problem. So, at a local level, perhaps your city is considering passing a plastic bag ban, – you could do work here to make sure the bill passed. Or at a state level, your state wishes to have less carbon emissions and you've read the plan and it seems solid, work magic to get those bills passed. Help attract people to the cause and help clear the way to get it to pass using magic. This is a solid step for using spells to promote preventing climate change.

Now, I can think of a few people who would try weather-magic, and let me be fair… if you did get something to happen weatherwise, it's going to be a limited outcome. You are not apt to make it rain for three years or something similar, much less make an entire summer cooler. But let's say you're some major big-thing and you're of a mind that you're such a great spellcaster that you can make the summer, winter, and every other season a great deal cooler this year. Why? Because you can, because you are that amazing. 😛 Well, assuming you are that amazing and powerful, I'd also assume you have the insight to see how that could be potentially a bad thing. So, historically, we've had mini-ice-ages, and some pretty bad climate changes which were triggered by a pretty major volcanic eruption or something causing very little sun and all sorts of badness. So, if you do this, and you're successful, you might cause some major famines (because plants love sun,) and a few other problems.

Realistically, the best method to combat problems with pollution is really to promote smarter ways to create less waste and improve life for all. That there are people who would like to see themselves as evil geniuses who would cause a mini ice-age isn't worrisome to me – most of them could not successfully cause a volcano to explode. I would say the likelihood of it is less than 1% (or even a fraction of 1% for that matter,) that could do such a thing. However, I do believe most intermediate level magicians could, at local and even national levels, create positive outcomes in a legal way that will reduce pollution and encourage a healthier lifestyle for the planet.

Q: Do you think curses are evil?

A: No. I think people use them with no valid reason sometimes, but I don't think that they are evil unto themselves. If someone is attacking you and you have no legal recourse, it's something that could be seen as self-defense. If, however, you just wanted to make someone's life hell because you don't like them, yes, I could see the action of cursing them as something some people might view as evil.

Alrightey kiddos, that's enough for me today. As always, even you need me, please feel free to contact me! 🙂

~Cat
Mercury, retrograding all over me again

November 11, 2019

Hey everyone,

After last week and being around only in the evenings, I have a bit of an email mess to clear up. It seems I dropped a few threads last week with the weird schedule I was on. 😦 I'll be here all day, replying to old stuff and recent stuff, so I am NOT taking the day off (despite it being a holiday,) BUT, I do ask you to NOT RESEND anything unless I do not reply to it today. Thanks for understanding. I just need to find a few dropped threads and make sure everyone is up to date. 🙂

Yes, I'm taking new business. No problems there. 🙂

~C
Yes, Mercury Retrograde Is Good For Something

November 2, 2019

Hey Occulties,

I realize it gets a bad rap, but Mercury retrograde does have its positive sides. See, retrogrades are a great time to review, renew, and re-establish things in our lives that correspond to the retrograding planet. So, for example, if Venus is retrograding, people often find themselves running into a lot of their exes. 😉 As Mercury rules communication (among many other things,) this is actually a fabulous time to use communication spellwork to re-establish communication with a party we have lost contact with (or are currently on the outs with.)

I’m going to post a communication spell today or tomorrow for just that reason. 🙂

I’m also going to have a questions you’ve asked me post coming up in the next few days, so if you’ve had a pressing question you’d like me to answer, contact me. 🙂

Anyhow, enjoy the last Mercury retrograde of the year (Oct 31-Nov 20, 2019.)

~Cat
Q&A: What sort of magical stuff goes on with Halloween?

October 24, 2019

Hey occulties,

Since I get this virtually every year, today I'm going to discuss the "magical provenance of Halloween." Let me smoosh this into a generic question (I've had SOOOO MANY of the same question for this every year, that I may as well,) and get discussing the topic.

Q: Is Halloween/Samhain like a super special day for magic or spirits or ghosts or something like that? Are there special rituals that I can do?

A: Samhain is a harvest festival….think of it a bit more like a combination of modern Halloween and Canada and the USA's "Thanksgiving." It would basically mark the time where animals where slaughtered, and fields harvested (thus a feast,) to the cold part of the year where everything became "dead and dormant" until the winter solstice. So, this was the time that ancient people felt that veil between the living and the dead was at it's thinnest (you're culling your fields and animals, so there is a lot of other death going on, it's getting dark, and if you're having a big feast, you need to get your dead ancestors in on that, to honor them…so it makes sense that "death" and "dead" are a big part of this harvest festival.) This is kind of an armchair historian summary for you, so feel free to check out the Wikipedia for more info. Modern Halloween celebrations are also based on the Catholic "Day of the dead," – a day to honor all souls who are departed.

But, let's digress a bit here…. The timing of this holiday has far more to do with what is going on in the field in the NORTHERN HEMISPHERE, than it would in, say, Australia. 😉 This is true of a lot of angloid/western holidays. The placement of Christmas on the calendar is actually based on the rebirth of the sun (winter solstice,) as Christ was probably born in September.

So why is this important? Well, magically speaking, our ancient forebears actually would have based when the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest, or when a fertility festival, or a celebration of the sun's rebirth, or etc is best placed by the SEASONS and CONDITIONS OF THE EARTH AROUND THEM. In modern times, we attach certain energies to the seasons, definitely, by collectively celebrating holidays to mark these times of year which carry certain elements (I have annoyed more than one of you by telling you how my Australian grandma would say "Feels just like Christmas!" in July) but in a proper magical/spiritual sense, I would say the value of the time of year has more to do with the seasons and the earth itself. Hopefully, I am making sense…so right now, in Australia, you aren't harvesting your fields and culling your livestock, whereas herein the USA, the end of the growing season is upon us. This means if the veil between the living and the dead being "thinnest," – in the spiritual sense, – is likely happening where the growing season is OVER.

What does that have to do with spells and magic and stuff? Well, it means that if you wanted to celebrate the holiday or plan special rituals, that, while it's always awesome to honor your dead ancestors (which is part of the basis of Samhain,) that it might, depending on your global location not really be the time when the "veil is the thinnest" between the living and the dead.

Also, if you're not really a spiritual person, why are you celebrating a spiritual holiday? Some people just like Halloween because they want to dress up as a pirate and drink a lot. If you don't belong to a religion that celebrates Halloween or Samhain, there really isn't anything wrong with that. In the USA, I celebrate the signing of the declaration of Independence with beer and fireworks and barbecues. I don't expect people in the Ukraine to celebrate that holiday, as they aren't from the USA. So, if your religion doesn't have All Souls Day/Day of the Dead or Samhain in it, don't worry about celebrating it as a religious holiday.

Can you do anything magical? Well, if you're in the Northern Hemisphere, now is the time to do some ancestor work. :)

Hopefully that cleared some stuff up and didn't tick off too many people. 😉

~Cat
Spell to Make Someone Unappealing to Others

October 22, 2019

Hey Occulties,

I have a confession to make. I have a really awesome Saturnian binding in my drafts folder. I've been wanting to post it basically since the same day I posted last… 😦 I really want to share it, but am then impeded by people who would think it's about them (because basically it involves people who violate contracts, and I've had 2-3 people get rotten about my hosting woes in the last few weeks.) I am tired of leaving you without anything, so let's just try a different spell article so I don't terrify people who, quite frankly, I probably should, but am not going to because I'm not really that mean. Also, blah blah blah, terms of service, blah blah blah, things people agree to, and blah blah disclaimer that I am not responsible for issues caused by my hosting provider so stop acting like I run Web.com (I don't) and am a crappy hosting service like them in an effort to annoy you, blah blah. 😉

Speaking of moving hosts… Considering that Mercury Retrograde is incoming very quickly, I am working super fast to get the business site ready for you ASAP. The blog is hosted by someone else so do not worry that it will move or change. :)

However, given the season, perhaps we could still talk about something dark or "scary" and not the usual love stuff… In fact, let's try something people often tell me that they really want after dating a real churl of a person. It's not a nice spell – it is, in fact, somewhat childish, really, – but you might feel better when you're done. :)

You will need a personal item for this – preferably clothing or hair. I REALLY REALLY love using old clothes, like…if they left a sock or some underwear there, this is going to be awesome. Why? Because they're going to smell. People ask me "Does this work on images?" I don't really believe so. If you went on one crappy Tinder date with someone and all you can do is get their image, I really don't think you'll have much luck. My experience is that you want something they have worn, or some hair (especially if they have long hair) for this to have a real impact. So…perhaps try a different curse for someone who you only have an image of – it would work better than this.

You will need (eco-minded suggestions at asterisk):
A used, unwashed item of clothing from the target (or hair if they have long hair) or a PIECE of worn, unwashed clothing if the original item is too large.
A gallon, zip freezer bag, or for my eco-conscious readers (I LOVE YOU) a waxed paper container that can easily hold your clothing item*
A cardboard shoe box**
A pin
A drinking straw or hollow reed/bamboo
Old meat
Broccoli
Old bread
A piece of potato
A permanent marker
Optional: black thread
Optional: active yeast
Other optional directions***

OK, so basically here what we're doing is where going to be making something to represent your target out of their own clothing. If you've chosen hair, please sew a small bag out of 100% cotton cloth (or similar,) in it's place. You don't need any grand sewing ability. The marker is used to inscribe this person's name on the item, so do that now.

You start by holding the item belonging to the target in your right hand and say "(Full name of target,) this represents you, as it still holds your essence, and shall continue to represent you so long as I say or until it rots away." Repeat this a total of 9 times. Now stuff the food items (and the yeast if you have it,) into the clothing item. While you can just "fold this over," I like to use black thread to stitch it shut with NINE black X's.

Now, hold the item in your hands and envision your target giving off the most noxious rotting smell that you can think of. See in your minds eye people turning away in disgust and even vomiting as your target walks by. Keeping this in your mind's eye, say "(Name of target, the stench of rot and stink follows you. As that within this piece of your clothes" (if you are using hair, put the hair into the bag with these items and say "within this bag,") "rots and writhes and molders and turns to slime, so does your body stink with this odor. Every stench that issues from within this fabric container is expelled through your skin!" repeat this command a total of NINE TIMES, then say "As is my will, so be it!"

Place this item into the bag (or into a relatively air-tight container), and then using your pin, poke small holes into the bag to allow air (but to prevent most insects) into the item. This will allow the rot to really fester and churn. Place this into your box, making sure the box is also ventilated and poking a large hole to allow a straw to remain above the surface once you have buried the item.

The item should be buried in a place where the target is likely to pass near by to. It tends to be successful even if you can't manage that, but it really takes off with proximity. Bury it so the top of the straw or reed is exposed to air. As the items inside mold and rot, the target will begin to emit horrible odors. So, if your ex is off trying to charm others, the smell of them should soon make almost any prospective date want to leave as soon as possible. The item can be dug up and dismantled to either 1.) ensure you're not leaving bad things in the earth that can't biodegrade, or 2.) because you are done bothering this person. To stop them from "stinking" so much, try to peel the clothing item from the rotting food and give the clothing a quick rinse with holy water. Then dispose of all items in the trash.

Happy Hexing!

~Cat

*Throughout this spell, you are probably going to be really sad if the idea of burying plastic you won't retrieve weighs heavily on your mind. Do not despair. While, for starters, you can dig all of this up at any time (and I encourage it if you use plastic, because plastic sucks,) I write this for a wide audience who would, frankly, be overwhelmed by doing this in an eco-conscious manner. So, basically what we are looking for with the plastic bag is to create a more or less waterproof, insect proof container. You could do something similar with WAXED PAPER, though it will take some elbow grease and also probably some glue. 😉 Create a wax paper bag of about a gallon. OR use a non-rapidly biodegradable container, and put small holes which are UNLIKELY TO ALLOW most insects in. LINING the whole of the box with waxed paper is probably just fine, making sure the base is WELL COVERED and unlikely to leak. Use a hollow reed or bamboo instead of a straw. Even a waxed paper straw will do. I had someone do this in an old metal pot and didn't bury it but left it in the garage. When it got cold and it froze, she threw the whole pot (with lid!) out after ~2 months of making it. You could do that, too, but the stink is terrible. Remember, many clothing items are NOT FULLY BIODEGRADABLE. The simplest method to use seems to be to make a waxed-paper bag and place the items into this and then into a cardboard shoebox, and then you would only be "littering" the burial of a clothing item which may not be biodegradable by allowing the item to biodegrade and not retrieving it.

**Both bag and box can be replaced with a wooden cigar box where you have waxed the bottom and drilled very small holes in the top, or bored a large hole and covered it with mosquito wire.

***Burial, as I said above, isn't necessary, but the smell gets REALLY BAD. In fact, in the warmest months, it can REEEEEEEK. Oxygen helps the food decay. If you can keep it "bug free" as long as possible, it will last longer. However, for the sake of argument, let's just say, you want to try going after someone for a week. Make the cloth part, stuff with food, and wrap it in newspaper. Then send it off to the dump. OR use a paper lunch bag – and again, throw this somewhere where it will have at least a few weeks before incineration. Let it fester in an old cooler you leave in the garage (make sure you can remove it) and then throw it away in the trash. Get creative. The idea is let the rotting food stink up the hair or clothing. If you're wondering, yes, it does tend to effect the part of the body which uses the item of clothing you're using. So underwear gives a stinky crotch. Socks make feet smell like vomit and old diapers. Hair makes hair stink. The containers like boxes and bags here are for YOU to be able to avoid the stench while also maximizing how long the item has to rot before it dessicates entirely. Be creative. I believe in you. :)
Something Funny Before I Post A Spell… :)

October 14, 2019

I did not make this image, but damn, it is awesome. 🙂

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