Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • 10 Things You Should Really Stop Doing (or you should at least consider not doing when dealing with occultists.)

    Hello Occulties:

    Soooo, I have a few articles on their way out, one is going to be a book review, there is a money spell en route..so, get excited for the 14 days of posts (which may technically be 14+ posts not on 14 different days…sorry about that – work really hella sucks in December.)

    The following are things just so many people who write me need to stop doing:

    1. Calling every practitioner of magic a “witch” and/or assuming “witch” isn’t an offensive word to several people.

    There are a lot of words today that don’t mean what they once did. For example, if I say your party was a festive and gay event, I would no longer mean that it was decorative and cheery as much as I would PROBABLY be saying that it was both festive and also chock full of homosexuals. Gay no longer means what gay meant for centuries – now it almost exclusively is applied to people who sexually and romantically appreciate people of the same biological sex.

    Or, if you see two people of color calling each other a bad n-word (it rhymes with bigger), you might not be as offended as you’d be if Princess Ginger McWhitey (that’s me in this context, spat out the same word. Sometimes certain types of insulting words can be used by people if they use it ironically, like you calling me Ginger McWhitey the soulless ginger is far more hilarious if you’re also a ginger.

    Witch is sort of like both of the above. For example, it really DOES NOT mean what it once meant as “wise one” to most people. AND if you’re a practitioner of magic, calling someone else who practices magic a “witch” in an ironic and humorous sense (assuming you’re friends,) can be completely fine, whereas if some stranger calls you a witch, it’s a bit offensive, really. I realize some Wiccans want to reclaim the word and refer to each other as so, but I don’t call Muslims and Christians “Jewish” because they are all Abrahamic religions, and that would actually be more apt than calling all practitioners of spells “Witch.”

    Witch has grown to mean a lot of ugly things in the modern world. You’re free to reclaim it for yourself if it makes you feel exciting and sexy or something. As for me, if you call me a witch, I think you were too afraid to call me bitch, or you are just really really bigoted against my spiritual beliefs (and ignorant, to boot,) and/or you think I’m a Satan-worshipping baby-killer. :/ Or maybe it means you think I’m a Wiccan? I know a lot of Wiccans who don’t like the term witch, and a lot of neo-pagans who don’t like that term either, but I’m neither Neo-Pagan nor Wiccan (many practitioners aren’t,) so this is an inappropriate term to use even if not being used in the offensive manner.

    2. Putting a “k” at the end of the word “magic.”

    NO ONE put the k on “magic” to separate it from card tricks and illusions. A man named Aleister Crowley put a k on his brand of magic to separate what he did from work of the Golden Dawn. In fact, Crowley had magic and magick – and they were 2 types of magic which he separated by varying points.

    Magic is an anthropological term – you’ll find it in totally real anthropology books and everything, and spelled right. You can spell it right. That k has been going out of style since the 1990’s…it’s not going to come back all retro just because Llewellyn publishers still uses it…and were the ones who widely promoted the lie that the k is to let all the people we pretend are too stupid to know the difference between magic and illusions are on to which one we’re discussing. If those people are so ignorant, you’re going to have to explain the k, too. Sooooo, let’s just start spelling like we all graduated first grade, OK? The leisure suit isn’t coming back, and that k isn’t coming back in style either. If you’re younger than 35 and still pinning it on something, it’s ridiculous. If you’re over 35? Well, I guess old bad habits die hard. 😉

    3. Telling your practitioner (and/or yourself) that you’re “not obsessed.”

    Please. I’m obsessed with normal things all of the time. 😛 2 months ago, I got obsessed with the color blue, and now I have like 5 blue outfits…or is it 7. I just wanted everything to be colored blue. Before that it was orange, then purple, and I’ve always been into red…so, I mean, we’re all “into” something and it can (and often does,) border on obsession. There’s a reason that I can tell you so much about the French Bourbon dynasty…it’s because I got obsessed with it and read everything I could to the point that I would have needed to learn French to learn more.

    How often, every day, do you think about pigs wearing human outfits? I mean literally a hog dressed in a suit and tie. Not how many times did you think about it yesterday? Was it zero times? OK. How many times did you think about anything relating to the situation you’re spellcasting on yesterday? Now, how many times did you think about your car when you weren’t driving it? How many times did you think about cleaning the floor? How many times did you think about the first Indiana Jones movie (Raiders of the Lost Ark)?

    See where I’m going here? All sorts of things you NEED to think about you probably think on less than you think about your situation you’re spellcasting on. So, SHUT THE FUCK UP (AND/OR STOP TYPING) ABOUT NOT BEING OBSESSED. Why? You’re obsessed.

    Every time someone lies to me about being obsessed, I hurl them to the back of the line for being delusional (and because I only have so much patience with which to deal with the delusional,) about their own situation.

    So, for what it’s worth, I get it. You ARE obsessed, but is it to an unhealthy degree? If you’re lying to yourself about being obsessed, it probably is. If you justify your obsession to yourself, you’re definitely past a point where it’s healthy (for example: I’m only obsessing because I have only 25 years more left to live – or I assume that’s the minimum, – and it’s NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!!!) If, however, the idea crosses your mind in passing a few times a day? That might not even click on the obsession scale. Do you think more on what you’re going to make yourself for dinner than you do on your spellwork? Then you’re probably doing just fine, nothing to worry about. 😉

    4. Attempting to micromanage any situation via spellwork.

    This is a fictuituous recreation of something I see in my inbox daily:

    “Hey Cat, this Zebadiah. So, I was just wondering, you know, Hermoine and I have totally been getting along OK and all, but like, last night she totes didn’t want to cuddle and she was like ‘Oh Zeb, I have a headache,’ and I totally think it’s because like, she sort of hangs with this girl, Euphingea, (Effy for short,) and like, Effy doesn’t like me much. Effy is still freaked out I think because she saw me and Hermoine like totally not getting along at Jimbo’s Halloween party, and she always tells my girl that she doesn’t need to put up with a guy who might have like 6 beers in 3 hours. While Effy really hasn’t said anything I KNOW OF to my girl since like the Halloween party, I just don’t want to take any chances. I mean, maybe it’s Hermoine’s job that’s stressing her out, and I think it’s like a week before her periods, so she, like, gets emotional sometimes and doesn’t want to cuddle, but seriously, let’s get to work on Effy. While we’re at it, let’s totes make Hermoine less stressed about her job, and…”

    Wow. Do you think Zeb chooses his girlfriend’s outfits out every morning, tells her what make up to wear, what she can find funny, what foods she likes… I mean…fawwwwwwwk!

    Zeb, LET GO, brother!

    I understand wanting to make sure your spell has worked and that it has some supportive work going if you’re unsure if the result is tenuous. HOWEVER, controlling every element of the problem isn’t going to actually help – it makes manifestation and continued positive results more difficult to achieve.

    Not only are you being obsessively controlling (obsession is bad, m’kay?) you’re also constantly pulling the situation back psychically to interfere with it. Visually speaking, this is a person who lets a bowling ball roll down the lane, then runs beside it gently tapping it to keep it centered…thing is, by the time it reaches the pins (manifestation) it’s been slowed too much by the person who won’t stop interfering. :/

    Let’s go back to our example. Perhaps “Effy” isn’t really against Zeb. Maybe she had something negative to say that once, but know she’s encouraging her friend. If he works to remove Effy from his girlfriend’s life, he’s doing himself a disservice. Remember – the spells are cast to create a desired end – constantly interfering to micromanage how this comes about is NOT often going to speed results or make things easier to manifest. At some point you WILL need to let the spell go and do it’s work.

    5. Defending stupid/self-defeating decisions/behaviors to yourself.

    The other day (and this will seem off-hand, but allow me to go on,) I was unfortunately on that really shitty site that pretends to be worthy of a news-source, aka The Huffington Post (my IQ drops several points every time I read an article on there, but I recover in a few hours/days,) and I saw a woman saying “Take pictures of yourself now, instead of saying you’re too fat to be in pictures, because that mythical time you’ll be thin again will probably never come.”

    What? So, you’re not advocating anyone try to lose weight, you’re assuring them, “Hey, stay fat, because I know you won’t ever work to lose weight or look good again, and accept that you hate how you look and what it does to your self-esteem.” And yeah, unfortunately that was the context of the article.

    For 95% of overweight people, losing weight is not impossible nor is it some unicorn you’ll never catch. It does require exercise and diet which isn’t fun, but it is possible. The author showed a picture of herself. If she ate right and exercised for a year, she’d probably have a model’s figure – she was “big” but not absurdly so. Unfortunately taking 30 minutes to sweat at least five days a week and not eating as many cookies as she does right now was apparently a HUGE PROBLEM for her. Now, let’s ask ourselves….if the same woman was told she needs to watch a 30 minute program (sitting on her butt,) five nights a week, plus she has to eat an extra meal five times a week and that THIS would help her lose, let’s say, thirty pounds, do you think that would have been too hard for her to handle? Would that have been a mythical time in her life because it was too hard for her to schedule? Nope. But the opposite? NO, she can’t do that! It’s a mythical unicorn outcome! Thirty minutes DOING SOMETHING!? That’s totally too much to ask – even if she can make that time for the TV, she can’t make that time for anything else! NOT eating too much! TOO MUCH TO ASK! She CAN eat too much, but eating less is not OK.

    So, while I embrace the idea that we should be with the ones we love (in photos/not in photos) regardless of temporary physical appearance (hey, maybe you ingested too much holiday cheer, maybe you couldn’t miss the Worldwide Bratwurst Eat-off, or maybe you just got a bad haircut) and that we should enjoy life to the fullest even when we’re insecure about what we look like, I also embrace the idea that if you don’t like something about yourself and you can CHANGE IT, then you should CHANGE IT.

    How is it any different when you defend a stupid action with “I panicked, so it’s OK,” or “I have a broken heart, so it’s OK,” or “I like to drink until I say really shitty things to people, but it was just the alcohol talking, so it’s OK,” or “I was just really on the edge about work, so screaming ‘fuck you, you piece of shit,’ at my reconciliation target for a half an hour was totes OK.” No. No, none of it is OK. Do not defend your bad behaviors, your laziness, your refusal to change things you can change – maybe the action is in the past, but your ability to change the future STILL EXISTS and it starts with you changing the bad actions and behaviors that brought you to where you are now. There is no defense for what you’re doing, you’re merely justifying those behaviors/actions to yourself in an attempt to encourage yourself to stay where you are – a place you claim makes you unhappy – rather than to work at getting what you want. Stop that. If you can change something about you that you don’t like – if you can change something about your life that you don’t like, – start TODAY and RIGHT NOW about changing it. I wrote this nifty article on the value of choices…start there.

    Disengaging from stupid decisions and behaviors IS RARELY EASY, and can be an addiction to stay in the cycle we feel trapped within. You WILL have to make a step to change your behavior or to stop that little self-defeating voice that says “accept that we can’t change this” but you can do it. Maybe you don’t want to exert the effort, but if you want change, you are required to make an effort…which is something that scares a lot of people. It’s why we convince ourselves to stay where we are (it’s comfortable,) rather than break away from that to change our lives for the better.

    Changing your life with spells doesn’t mean it’s effortless – you still need to use effort. You still need to check your own behaviors and what caused you to get to the place you are now that you don’t like. The longer you defend self-destructive/self-defeating/stupid actions/decisions/behaviors, the longer you will persist in a place you do not want to be.

    6. Worrying/scaring yourself/etc.

    Since I have discussed this way too often, I won’t bother going over it AGAIN.

    7. Mixing paradigms like a neophyte.

    Ever seen this? “Hi, My name is Bunny Starfucker, and I’m a Gypsy Voodoo Wiccan Starchild Hermetic Gnostic Pagan priestess of Greek Santeria!” or similar.

    OK, so that doesn’t exist but I’m sure you have seen someone saying shit like that. You want to know what I, your dear friend Cat, is?

    Hi, I’m Cat. I’m trained in Hoodoo, which I consider my area of expertise in the occult world, specifically more with a NorthEastern flavor, which some people have told me is similar to Pow-wow, but I’ve definitely learned from SouthEastern, Southwestern, South American, and European Catholic sources. My secondary study is Hermetics with a focus on conjure.

    I also have education in varying magical platforms (from minimal to extensive, depending on the paradigm,) but do not profess to be a priestess of 10 traditions, because that would be utter fucking bullshit.

    Sooooo, if you’re a “Hoodoo Wiccan Gypsy Fairy Dragon Goetia Scarlet Maiden of Santeria” you’re probably a whole lot of nothing. 😉 It’s sort of like taking every single bit of food in a refrigerator and just mushing it together and assuming it will fuse into a super food instead of a disgusting, inedible bunch of shit.

    I’m not saying that traditions can’t find fusion, because they can, but it takes a MASTER or an ADEPT to do this fusion…some dabbling assclown who calls burning candles “tons of experience” (setting lights is namby-pamby beginner stuff, guys and gals,) someone who has to constantly refer to books as a reference because they haven’t reached the point where they can work on their own INTERNAL SET OF KNOWLEDGE (that’s going to take years, and it’s an earned thing,) is not going to be the person doing any intelligent fusing. People who toss Erzulie and Oshun into the same pot are not actually doing anything brilliant…you can’t just mix and match cuz you “felt like it.” There is a logic, and there is working intelligently, and until you get to the ADEPT STAGE you should not be tossing around all sorts of cultures and paradigms because you’ll probably just hurt yourself (or accomplish jack shit.) It’s sort of like me building a house out of Play-doh AND cement because Play-doh is kind of like cement, right? Derp.

    8. Harassing or being rude to disincarnate beings.

    I will never really understand why people (generally drunk people, which lends at least a bit of insight) find it so entertaining and wise to harass the dead, or -even worse- the NEVER INCARNATE (that means this being was never human or in a physical body,) but then are SO SHOCKED when something starts fucking with them right back.

    “But Cat!” you say, “So I drank a whole liter of scotch, and peed on a grave and then danced in my pee, and called the dead person beneath me a bunch of really bad things like a goat-fucking crack-whore who liked to bathe in the blood of dead chipmunks, and then challenged that dead person to make themselves known since they were obviously a big pile of shit. I mean, it’s not like they did anything when I was there! I just wanted a reaction. And sure, weird fires have started breaking out in my home, some scratching noises in the wall, and my kid has a bite mark on their ass from no known source. It can’t be my bad behavior causing that!”

    O, rly. *rolls eyes*

    See, I think you deserve everything you get if you disrespect the disincarnate like that.

    More realistically, it goes something like this: “So me and a bunch of friends were trying to contact (named spirit/not named spirit) and nothing was happening, right? So my other friend was like ‘I don’t even think this is real. Nothing is happening. It’s bullshit that this/these (spirit/s) can even do anything anyhow.’ So we all went home and now weird shit is happening at so and so’s house, and…”

    Yeah, again, why are you trying to contact this or any spirit? Please tell me you have a reason for this other than you’re bored. If you do have a real reason to contact the dead or never incarnate, you might EDUCATE YOURSELF on how this is done…suchas The Art of Calling Spirits into Crystals, and so forth…not just fucking with the disincarnate because you’re bored.

    If you mess around and act churlish to those lacking a body out of boredom you are no better than someone who goes to, say, a maternity ward or a coma ward or an old person’s home, and starts harassing the patients, then cries when something bad happens. These beings can ignore you (just like maybe a coma patient isn’t responding,) or they might just decide you’re awful, and come after you (imagine someone waking up from a coma to beat the shit out of you and make a hat out of your ass-cheeks for waking them up.)

    9. Reusing name papers.

    The vast majority of the time, you’re supposed to actually deploy these someplace. I’m sure there is some exception somewhere to some rule, but let’s just say it’s a small exception. If you’re not deploying your name paper and reusing it, there’s a 999 chance out of 1000 that you’re doing it wrong. Stop asking me if it’s OK to reuse them. Do you reuse toilet paper? Ugh, I shouldn’t ask. I bet some of you do. 😛

    10. Attempting to get free psychic questions answered (for example “I just wanna know, is s/he coming back – tell me and I’ll buy a reading!”)

    When anyone has been a professional reader for longer than 2 days in a row, they’ve heard every trick in the book. Stop trying to do this because all it means is you’re a cheap, freebie abusing asshole and a terrible person for even attempting to get a free reading question done.

    I do hope this has been educational, my dearies. Back tomorrow with some goodies! 🙂

    ~Cat

    All the above is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com and cannot be used without my express written permission.

  • Mama Cat’s Pearls of Wisdom #31: The Value of Choices

    Hey Occulties,

    I want you to know something…

    Everything you have or don’t have is because of you. Right now where you are is a result of the choices you made. Maybe something that happened today was the result of a choice you made YEARS ago, and maybe another thing that happened today was from a choice you made less than a minute ago, but wherever you are, it’s because of your decisions and your choices. While I’ll give you that accidents and health issues and birth deformities and birth locations happen – guess what? From the moment you exited the womb, you started making choices, and by the time you were a teenager, you had enough control to seriously say “this is now all on me – this isn’t my parents, this isn’t my teachers, this isn’t my friends making decisions – it’s me.” Everything that has happened to you since is a product of YOUR CHOICES AND YOUR ACTIONS (or lack thereof).

    Maybe you thought you were doing the right thing, and found out you were wrong. Hey, my life is just one giant string of “It sounded like a good idea at the time,” so I hear you on that. Maybe you listened to some bad advice (I have,) maybe you fell in love with a shitty person (I have,) maybe you decided to drink too much and were unimaginably hurtful to the love of your life…but you made those choices to take that advice, to persist in your pairing with person, to drink too much…

    So everything right now that is happening to you is because of you. Own it. Be responsible. It isn’t going to feel great all of the time (because I don’t know about you, but saying “I was wrong to trust so-and-so, but I did, and this is my fault,” can really suck, and I’ve said it,) but it won’t feel bad all of the time (because saying “Wow, I’m so glad that I learned how to change a tire on a lark, now we’re not stranded on this dark highway, and I’ve saved the day,” can really feel great.)

    The moment you take responsibility for YOURSELF, and stop blaming others for where you are now is the moment you can begin to change those things in your life that you do not like.

    Most of us want more money, a better job, financial security, someone who loves us, people who understand us, a comfortable home, etc, – and this is all fine for you to keep wanting this, or a better version of this, but you MUST keep working to get there, and you must keep making decisions and taking actions which may or may not positively impact your journey to getting and keeping all of these desirable things.

    When you work out, you must keep working out to stay fit.

    When you get a paycheck, you still have to go to work the next week to get another paycheck.

    When you tell someone that they matter, you need to continue to show them that you feel that way.

    All good things in life need to be nurtured and cared for – there is no “press a button once, and it falls into place” outcome.

    So remember that when you begin your path to learning magic. There is no “one last spell that fixes everything permanently in my life.” Even if it’s just one spell you cast, you’re still going to have to make decisions and take actions to keep that end result what you want it to be, because life is an endless river in which you are paddling and if you do not make wise choices, and good decisions, you might end up shit’s creek without a paddle.

    Best,

    ~Cat

    All content on this site is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com and cannot be used in any form whatsoever without my express written permission. I STRONGLY go after anyone who violates my copyright.

  • All Hail Saleos!

    Hey there, Occulties,

    Since I’ve definitely signed myself up for more work than I ever should have with 13 more posts (well, 12 after this,) all having to go up on or before December 31 (all while working 14 hour days, because I just am a glutton for punishment,) I had a few days to think on it, and I figured I’d like to have a chat with you all about someone I think is absolutely awesome. No, Rufus Opus, this is not the review of your book which is also forthcoming, but you’re awesome, too*

    As some of you might know, Saleos (sometimes referred to as Sallos, or Zallos) is one of the 72 spirits in the Ars Goetia. Maybe you’ve met him. Maybe you haven’t. But I have something to say about him, and I will address it directly to him, as it really IS long overdue that I give this fellow a PUBLIC and glowing review:

    My dearest Duke Saleos,

    You are amazing. You’ve helped me, you’ve helped my clients, you love vodka, and wine, and engineer infatuation between men and women like the true master engineer of love that you are. You’re everything I ever wanted in a spirit (I also love vodka and helping people fall in love with each other.) It has been an honor and continues to be an honor to work with you.

    Saleos

    You have helped me grow as a magician, you have been patient, you have been kind… You even have a great sense of humor, which I was a bit surprised to discover. 🙂

    If anyone (who was seriously interested in conjuring,) asked me who to work with for love, I’d recommend you. I’m pretty sure that goes without saying. You get the job done right – which isn’t always “two days later” (and I respect that most highly,) because fast isn’t always lasting…and what you create is more often than not, quite lasting. I look forward to further adventures with you.

    YOU
    ARE
    MY
    FAVORITE
    GOE
    TO
    WORK
    WITH!!!!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Duke Saleos!

    Cartwheel

    I cannot praise you enough, and will continue to do so. May we work together for many years to come.

    Yours truly,

    ~Cat

    *RO would be even more awesome if he published a book which was bound in the hide of unicorn nipples, inked in the blood of his enemies, and smoked with demon farts, but he still hasn’t published a book like that, so he’s only 99.9% awesome, and I told him this very thing yesterday. 😛

    ****Added 10/10/15 – I am glad to talk about SALEOS (I didn’t misspell his name) with people practiced with evocation if you would like to know my experiences. I welcome discussion with those who have successfully practiced evocation. 🙂 If you’re a dabbler, if you refer to him as Sallos (when he’s listed as Saleos, Zaleos, and Caleos in the varying sources that I am familiar with – not to mention, I’ve spoken to Saleos himself,) or if you tell me he is your only hope and you really really really want your ex back/someone to love you, but you’ve never cast a spell, then I do not teach evocation, and I am not interested in the discussion. Ask me a stupid question, and you will get a contemptuous answer. I teach ROOTWORK not spirit conjure. Sorry to be such an asshole, but this post has been an ASSHOLE MAGNET and after almost a year of fucktardedly stupid questions, the answer is, YES, I LOVE SALEOS AND HE IS AMAZING, but NO, I do not think he’s your only hope if you never cast a spell before, and frankly, successful evocation takes a long time to learn. I don’t teach it, either. ****

    Text is copyright me – no copying, copy and pasting, etc., images in this article from the free domain. If you dispute they are from the free domain and they are yours, please contact me and I will take them down.

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me: End of 2014 Edition

    Hey occulties!

    You knew this was coming. Perhaps you knew because I’m uncreative, and I tend to enjoy these types of posts, or perhaps you know it was coming because you reading right now personally asked me so many questions last week in an email (that I’ve not replied to,) that you KNEW I’d have to post all about it. 😉

    Either way, let’s get crackin’! The first one IS a repeat, but a useful repeat. 😉

    Q: I can’t stop thinking my work to death – I’ve tried everything! How do you stop yourself?

    A: I don’t always stop myself. 😉 I’m big enough to admit it – I can totally think something down to nothing. Sometimes it’s because I’m SO EXCITED to get something I want, and other times it’s about money…which, it’s like I’ve told some of you, if I have a big bill and I’m just SURE I won’t be able to cover it, I get increasingly aggravated, and then my money spell won’t manifest until after the bill is due…even though I KNOW I’m the one making that so, I can’t seem to move myself around it. 😛

    HOWEVER, I do have a few tricks I use for avoiding lust for results/thinking the work to death…

    1. I avoid my own triggers. For example if it’s a personal relationship I’m doing spellwork on (not necessarily romantic in nature, but any personal relationship,) I will often stop listening to music, because I tend to think of my personal relationships when I listen to music. Some people find watching TV to be a trigger. Others feel long car rides are difficult (I suggest a book on tape – er or I should say on your device/cd player, lol, whatever is read aloud, – when driving as it will engage your mind.) Whatever your trigger/s is/are, look for a solution to avoid those triggers.

    2. I keep my mind engaged in “thinking” tasks, and avoid “mindless” tasks as much as possible. For example, working for a client involves using my whole brain to focus on their problem. Sweeping my floor is a mindless task – I use hardly any brain…and if I were to engage in sweeping the house for a half hour, I could totally see my mind wandering to whatever I’m spellworking on (if I feel attracted to analyzing it.) Of course we can’t totally avoid “mindless tasks” (as a pet owner, there would be pet-hair tumbleweeds in my house if I did not sweep at least daily,) but we CAN try to stay on top of those we need to do (like simple house cleaning) to avoid these tasks building into requiring a few hours at a time to accomplish them. 😉

    3. I throw myself wholeheartedly at someone else’s problems. You know who has problems? Everyone you know. Find someone who needs your help, and go out of your way to be helpful (without being creepy.) 😉 If a friend is getting divorced or maybe another friend is uncertain about their job, I go out of my way to listen to their problems and try to help them solve said issue (in a non-magical fashion.)

    4. I think it to death before I work on it. If I really believe if I don’t get a chance to over-analyze the situation, that I’ll keep coming back to it in my own mind, I’ll spend the next 48-72 hours doing nothing but thinking about it. By the time I start my spellwork, I’ve so thoroughly exhausted the topic to myself in my own mind, I’m really not so eager to over think it.

    5. I tell myself to “knock it off” when I find myself engaging in lust for results/thinking the work to death (and surprisingly “knock it off, Cat,” actually works.

    6. If I’m really married to the idea that I must, must, must, must think the problem/spell/situation to death, I will give myself 15 minutes every other night to think as much as I want about it.

    7. I practice what I call “Stillness,” which is basically quieting the mind. First I find a focal point, usually outside (looking out a window,) and then I tell myself nothing from the future can effect me at that moment, nothing from the past can effect me, and nothing presently will interrupt or disturb me, clearing my mind as I say these things. It brings a complete sense of peace. The longer I can stay in this state, the less wound up I am about anything whatsoever.

    Q: I am worried about fire safety – can I use battery-operated lights in my spellcasting?

    A: This was recently on a forum I was reading, and I don’t agree that this is an effective method. If you want to use fake candles, they are certainly nice for mood-lighting, but they are not representative of fire, nor do they function in the same manner a candle does -at least how I work.

    Before anyone groans and said “So-and-so says it’s OK!” I assure you that I tried this out this summer with an LED fake candle. It did not show any impact. The argument I hear for this is that it’s “the light” which is the gift, but in the traditions I work in, that’s not entirely accurate. If you want to leave a little blinky light out as an offering and it works for you, go ahead and try.

    HOWEVER, your best bet for fire safety (and not pissing off entities/ancestors/beings/the Universe who want fire, and not a low level LED glow,) is to stop worrying so much about FORM (that is, appearance) and worry more about function. Your best friend is sand. Go purchase several pounds of sand in burn your candles in a sheetcake tin or pie plate full of sand. Have a seven day, glass-encased candle? Put 2 inches of sand in a metal bucket, then place the name paper and then the candle into the bucket. Fill with sand until it reaches about the brim of the bucket. I’ve had these candles explode and continue to burn safely even after explosion, with no noticable heat coming off of them.

    If you’re more worried about something being pretty rather than it working well, I’m not the right person to learn from. 😉 Also, those crappy LED fake candles are plastic and spending another 4 million years not decomposing whereas the candles you use are not going to create their own landfill. If you’re earth friendly at all, you want to avoid using LED candles as an “offering” or in place of a candle.

    Q: Why are so many practitioners/blog-writers/writers/occultists such a bag of dicks when I ask them questions? (Implied: These people should be so grateful for anyone’s attention as to be ready to answer 5 hours worth of questions, not limited to going over the most elementary facets of spellcasting, merely for being asked to.)

    A: Believe it or not, 99% (MAYBE 98%) of all people on this planet, including magic dabblers, are incredibly ignorant when it comes to the occult to such a level that it would be like me asking you over and over and over again why food rots when left out of a refrigerator and/or without being sealed, and then being dumbfounded by mold and maggots and bugs and etc, as if decay, and flora and fauna that loves old food never existed. Or…perhaps even like me being horrified that ice can melt when put into a drink…just literally shrieking as it disappears in my drink, and asking you HOW CAN THIS BE?!

    And see, we, the authors and experts of the occult, know this is so. This means if you ask me a “simple question,” then…well, it’s not. Imagine, right now, that a two-year old asks you, “Can you explain to me the meaning of romantic love, and why it isn’t always returned?” And then explain that to a child of those years in terms that they clearly understand – be sure to be deep, cover all psychological, spiritual, emotional, behavioral, and biological reasons in most currently held cultures. Or, perhaps something you’re more familiar with – ever been to the doctor or the dentist, and they start speaking doctor or dentist to each other, and you’re not really sure what they are saying? That’s how occultists speak to each other.

    And the truth is, I have cohorts even I don’t bother debating with when I have an opposing view. I have peers (who I love and adore who are amazing and intelligent) who I avoid debate with not out of ANY LACK OF EXPERIENCE, but because they will come back with references, ten Google links, a college thesis paper they wrote, words from a long-dead guru, a note from their doctor, fifteen passages in ancient Hebrew, twelve in Coptic, and 2 books that are so rare, only three copies exist, and they are one of the people who helped translate that text in a museum. They do that to newbs, too…if they were patient enough to reply. 😉 I’m happy with experience being the teacher, lol, so after I get a reading list (should I want to refute their opinion, I must first read this whole reading list,) I generally think “Hmm, I work 14 hours a day. This one book looks interesting but it will take me four months to read it, so I’ll just go back to debating them in four months when I have.” 😉

    HOWEVER, the thing is, none of you get that it’s not a quick answer. For it to be a quick answer, I should not have to tell you how to anoint a candle. I shouldn’t have to tell you what colors correspond to Thursday or which planet rules Wednesday. I shouldn’t have to tell you how to work around lunar correspondences, I shouldn’t have to tell you why Return To Me is different than Reconciliation…this is all super basic shit. You should know what day, you should know what time is best. You shouldn’t have to ask dumb questions like that unless you’re such a neophyte that you don’t know.

    So, you’re a neophyte…nothing wrong with that at all! We all were at one point. The difference is, the people you’re talking to right now? The “modern experts?” We all were neophytes in a time where we had to put our own experience and study (of these inanimate objects called books, more often than not,) in, our own work – we didn’t have anyone at your disposal to help us, really. We earned where we are. There were teachers, but they had to be sought out, and then, if we were lucky, if we’d earned it, they’d teach us. By the time we could ask others, we were far enough along that no one would even expect us to ask “What day do I start this? Like a Saturday or some shit?”

    Now, go back to “Why are you all such a bag of dicks about questions?” Well, I don’t think any of us would be that at all if you paid us for our time like we used to pay (and still pay) for our research materials, or if you tried to learn for yourself instead of trying to use us as free encyclopedias. Put in your work, pay others for theirs. You’ll find people are a lot nicer. 😉 The benefit you have IS that you can get stuff I NEVER could have gotten my hands on in my neophyte days. Don’t abuse the help of others, and WE WILL HELP, and GLADLY SO. But come in with a list of 200 questions, expecting all the answers for free (or that we will write spells out for free,) and you might make someone act like a bag of dicks. :/

    Aaron Leitch (who is actually a super nice guy) says it pretty well right here. 😉

    Q: I’m confused – why is real spellcasting nothing like what I’ve seen in the movies/on television?

    A: You’re probably under the age of 15 (in which case, you might need parental permission to read my blog,) or suffering from impaired intelligence if you actually think most things on television or the movies are true-to-life. Lawyers laugh at lawyer shows (as a lawyer’s kid, I also laugh at how inaccurate these are,) cops laugh at cop shows (wholly inaccurate again,) doctors laugh at doctor shows (stupidly inaccurate,) and occultists laugh at shows with magicians/witches/spells in them… It’s not that I don’t find entertainment with magic as part of the plot ENTERTAINING sometimes, but I know that it’s entertainment. If you’re familiar with Indiana Jones movies, that’s about as accurate of a portrayal of archaeology (which it’s hugely inaccurate of a portrayal of archaeology,) as movies and dramas and comedies and tv shows are accurate to the occult.

    Some shows are a bit closer than others, but they are all part of a fantasy concocted for your entertainment…just like in most romance movies, the characters would be creepy and obsessed assclowns – not objects of desire; or “poor” people live in these luxury houses and apartments that most of us couldn’t afford, etc., etc., etc. If you think Hollywood depicts real life very often, you’re very young, and/or very naive, and/or not too bright. Even the “based on a true” story stuff is usually so far off from the true story that it’s arguable that it’s based on anything true. :/

    Q: You give pretty good love advice – what’s the best you got?

    A: If you really ever loved that person and they loved you, they are almost guaranteed to come back at some point, regardless of spellwork. I’ve had people I never cast a spell on come back to me 5-10 years later. Obviously, death and disaster might prevent that, but the good ones come and go a few times, in my experience. I wish someone told me this when I was a younger woman, as it would have saved me staying up late torturing a few people til they came back (with spells! mwhahahahaha,) but I see now that the ones I just let go even came back. There is a beautiful passage in Corinthians, and it’s very true: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Also, the Beatles said it well with “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” Basically, even though it seems like things are irrepairably lost to you, wait awhile. It might be a very long while. You might forget how much you cared. It often comes to you at some point anyhow, if you earned it, and if you loved it enough (again, barring death or disaster.) So…it’s okay to let someone go. Maybe the time is wrong for you to be together right now. Don’t fear you won’t see them again. You often will, and they will love you and miss you when you do.

    People have come back to me and said surprisingly loving and beautiful things to me when I’d written them out of my life. They’ve proven to me that love is a pretty unshakable bond.

    Or maybe that’s just a load of sugary horseshit for everyone but me. Can’t say. If that sounds like a load of platitudes, then the second best advice is “For fuck’s sake, stop calling your ex, stop texting them, and fucking calm down. Desperation is the world’s worst cologne and your actions and behavior stink of it. Until you stop reeking of desperation, don’t expect anyone to come back – just expect everyone to be repelled.” 🙂

    Alrighty, kiddos – that’s it for this edition of QUESTIONS YOU’VE ASKED ME. New article shortly (seeing as I have 16 days to finish 13 more articles, I definitely can’t wait too long.) 😉

    ~Cat

  • 14 Days of Posts for 2014 – Because You All Complain that I Do Not Post Enough

    Hey there, Occultey friends!

    So, I always hear (read?) about how I don’t post enough… So, to sort of offset that (not that I can promise all forthcoming posts will be about the occult, since 14 hours a day of speaking on that topic makes me pretty gd sick of it by the end of the day,) I will be posting 14 posts before the end of 2014.

    Hold on to your butts…this might get exciting (or it could be really boring, or I might make you wonder if I’m an alien, whatver.)

    ~Cat

  • Q&A: Slow Burn VS Fast Burn

    Hey there, occulties,

    Just a quickie today.

    Q: Can you tell me which is a better “sign” – the candle burning slow, or the candle burning fast?

    A: To be fair, some people read a slow burn as a good sign, and by slow, I mean uber super slow. I do not take it as a positive, personally.

    You’re thinking “Cat, how in the fuck would I know it’s burning slow?” Well, see, that might take you being familiar with how that brand or style of candle burns. I burn so many candles that I do actually have some idea how long each lasts. HOWEVER, if you don’t have that sort of information available, you might consult the manufacturer. Most candle sellers will post “approximately (x) hours burn time.”

    So, if I’m burning a candle that takes 12 hours on average to burn itself out, and it burns 36 hours? I take that as a sign that the work has A LOT to overcome and may not manifest. However, in the same situation, if I’m burning a 12 hour candle and it burns 15 hours, I actually do not view that as being a bad thing (or even a good thing.)

    If the candle burns overly fast (again consult your own familiarity with that brand/style of candle or the manufacturer’s suggested burn time,) I don’t take that as a super great sign, but it has it’s own meaning. So, if I’m burning a 12 hour candle and it burns out in 2 hours, that probably means a fast result, HOWEVER it can also mean the results will be short-lived or tenuous. ALSO if there is a lot of herb matter on the candle, that might just mean you over-did it on the herbs, and the candle went up quickly (ergo, do not take it as a form of chieromancy.)

    Since there is often some confusion here, “Seven day” glass encased candles more often than not burn around five to five and a half days. That’s not a fast burn.

    If you experience extremely slow burn, when your candle has burned out, burn another candle on the same situation. If you experience extremely fast burn, I would also run another candle spell soon thereafter to reinforce the energy (so as it’s not so *possibly* tenuous.)

    Hope that’s some help,

    ~Cat

  • Stop Worrying So Much. :P

    Hey Occulties,

    This is probably a rant, but here goes…

    Goetia

    I could never pick out one thing that annoys me most about working with clients, just like I can’t say I can pick out the things I like best, either. Both are incredibly varied. 😉

    However, the most current trend in my inbox at this writing seems to be the “I’m incapable of ever seeing anything in a positive light,” trend, a.k.a. “I am worried over the most trivial of contrary events, so God forbid anything actually scary should happen during this manifestation phase” problem. Therefore, I give this offering unto my reading public in the hopes that someone, – anyone – will learn through me what I had to learn through experience. And that is the following:

    ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES! You know that stupid phrase, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?”( Yes, I know I usually say “If life doesn’t also hand you sugar and water, your lemonade sure is going to taste like shit,” but just stick with me here.) I’m sure you’ve all heard it, and if you haven’t, well…it basically means if you get stuck with a situation you find to be less than optimal, use what you DO HAVE to make something good out of it.

    Is your reconciliation target acting distant? Well, let them be distant. One thing I’ve learned in life is that smothering anyone you have romantic feelings for (or even just friend feelings for,) is the surest way to kill a flame of love, friendship, or desire. When you get punched with “feeling like the target is ignoring me,” then why not roll back with “Go out and be seen having a fabulous time without the target”? I dunno about you, but when I see people having a fabulous time without me, I feel a little left out. I might want to join in. That might cause me to warm up to someone, so that I can get in on the fun next time. 😛

    And that’s what I mean when I say, “roll with the punches.” It’s up to you to make the best of what you’ve got. Magic might be working for you, but if you don’t work with it, and don’t learn to work with what IS going on, don’t expect it to manifest spectacularly every time. You need to be capable of working with your spellwork instead of freezing up every time something you don’t expect happens.

    USE YOUR MIND TACTICALLY RATHER THAN WASTING YOUR ENERGY ON USELESS WORRY. Remember that time I told you that worry is the most useless thing that ever existed (although Kanye West may actually be more useless, and also I’m pretty sure tits on a bull are AT LEAST equally as useless as worry,) and you were like “O, really, Cat? But if I don’t worry, I will totes like not see a bad thing coming!” and then I told you that you were wrong? (Note: if you ever contacted me there is a 9 out of 10 chance we had this conversation.) So, if you don’t remember that, or if it never happened that we did have that conversation, allow me to say it, briefly, here…

    Worry is basically you plotting all the ways you can fail, and then getting excited about failing. I mean, you’re actually getting a thrill on the idea of failure, which is why you keep engaging in worry. I’m not really sure how that’s helpful. Imagine if you got in your car right now, put on your seat belt, and the moment you put on that seat belt, you thought of all the ways it might fail, or maybe how it could malfunction and slice you in half, and while you turn on the engine you think of how the car could explode, and then you think of how another car might hit the back of your car as you pull out into the street, and…

    You don’t do that, right? I mean, if you’re thinking of every awful thing that could very well happen at any moment, you have a problem called an “anxiety disorder.” Most of us, however, would put on our seat belt (not out of fear of dying or getting a ticket, but out of habit,) start the car, and would maneuver ourselves around in the vehicle while staying aware of the other drivers and traffic. So, if someone pulls out in front of you unexpectedly, you hit the breaks, or steer a bit to the right to avoid them – you do NOT fail to adjust what you’re doing merely because something unexpected happened (so that’s panic,) but you tactically adjust your own vehicle to avoid disaster.

    How is life any different? What makes you think spellwork and your own actions and opportunities during the manifestation phase are any different? If you sit there, paralyzed by fear and panic and worry, imagining terrible outcomes for your spellwork, how are you going to be able to adjust your own actions tactically to be most beneficial to your situation, and how will you find the opportunities the spell is making for you?

    SEEK OPPORTUNITIES. There’s also an old joke that goes like this… A man is standing on the roof during a torrential downpour, watching the neighborhood flood. He prays “Lord, please help save me from this terrible flood. It has already reached past the first floor of my home, and is climbing closer to the roof.” Just then his neighbor comes up with a boat, and says “Bob, get in the boat and I’ll take you to higher ground!” The man says “No can do, I’m waiting for God to save me! I’ll just keep praying.” The neighbor shakes his head, and drives the boat off. About a half an hour later, with the water now climbing up the edges of the roof, another neighbor shows up with a life raft, paddling furiously. “Bob,” he says to the praying man, “Get in, and we’ll get out of here!” The praying man looks up and says “No, no, the Lord will save me, I just need to have faith in Him,” and goes back to praying. About an hour later the water is almost up to the man’s waist. He’s standing on his tip toes when a helicopter soars overhead. “HEY, DOWN THERE!” an army man says to the praying man on the roof. “Grab this rope and I’ll save you! You don’t have much time!” The praying man looks up and says, “No, the Lord will save me! Thanks anyhow!” And waves the helicopter off. Anyhow, the praying man drowns, and when he gets to Heaven, he says “Lord, why did you not save me?” and God replies “Well, I did send a boat, a raft, and helicopter – what else did you want!?”

    It’s a given that people miss opportunities…of course some make opportunities that don’t exist as well (I actually term those as “flopportunities” because, generally, you’re not really going to succeed, you just are going out on a limb, and are about to flop right on your face, metaphorically.) 😉 But let’s focus on those who miss opportunities. Why is it that something HAS TO happen in the way you believe it should? Are you more invested in HOW it happens and WHY it happens, or are you more invested in the thing you want happening? In the above, Bob wants to be rescued from a flood, but he’s too invested in HOW he gets rescued. He’s not at all thinking about saving himself, he wants God to come down and lift him physically out of the water, therefore missing all of the opportunities God is sending to rescue him.

    So, you want a job selling cars, and you do a spell to get a job selling cars. If you *think* you prefer Jimbo and Sons Ford and Mercury, and you apply there (despite that you cast a spell for THE BEST CAR SELLING JOB SUITED TO YOU, and not specifically for Jimbo and Sons’ employment) does your spell “fail” if Jimbo rejects your application, but Benson’s Hondas wants to employ you? I do know people who will literally tear their hair right out and scream “MY SPELL FAILED!” the moment Jimbo rejected their application. They will not seek another opportunity, they will not assume another one exists, and they will decide magic doesn’t work.

    FAILURE IS POSSIBLE, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S PROBABLE. One of the things I see all too often is that someone is faced with what I like to term a “trivial contrary,” OR what they see as a “huge red flag of danger,” the person in question immediately panics, rather than seeking an opportunity or tactically maneuvering themselves so that the situation does not up-end their spellwork.

    Now, what is a “trivial contrary?” This is most often just not getting the expected response (generally something small,) or encountering an event that seems contradictory to your desired end (but doesn’t have to be,) which is not alarmingly contradictory, just..well, not in sync with what you expected.

    If things don’t visibly seem to be going your way, why is it that you need to immediately assume it’s going to fail? Doesn’t that kind of propel you towards failure? If I’m in love with a male friend of mine, for example, and he doesn’t show me the affection I want him to, should I assume my spell isn’t working? What if he’s just not telling me because he’s insecure? What if he’s not telling me because I’ve rejected him in the past? What if he’s not telling me because he worries we’d make a bad match? None of this means my spell isn’t working, it means my target is holding back. If I just assume everything is a lack of results or isn’t working, I’m blinding myself with lust for results. But let’s throw a more “alarming” kind of “trivial contrary,” into the mix… Let’s say I’ve texted my target, asking him if he would like to go grab a beer. Historically, my target likes beer, and likes having beers with me, but he replies with “Not tonight, maybe another time.” DID MY SPELL FAIL? OMIGOD OMIGOD NOTHING IS WORKING! CAT REASSURE ME! Oh, sorry, I was channeling one of my clients for a moment… Well, that’s definitely not fun. We’d all like it if our target responded with “I like beer, and drinking beer, and the chance to get drunk with you,” but it’s not always going to pan out like that. So, if that happens and I wait a few days, maybe I find out that my target’s mother had been in surgery that night, or he had to stay late at a meeting or a class, or he just had other plans which were of greater importance than getting a beer with me. Maybe the target will ask me out for a beer a few days later. 😛

    My point here is, why are you so frazzled over the little stuff? Too many of you are. It’s not always going to work where you won’t have trivial contrary incidents during your manifestation phase. Panicking never helps, and assuming the worst doesn’t either. Even if your spell IS NOT WORKING or DOES NOT WORK, no one is dead or dying. You can cast another spell. So, roll with the punches, seek opportunities, and don’t sweat the small stuff…you’ll be successful more times than you’re not if you take this advice.

    THE MOST-LIKELY SOURCE TO DISCOVER IF YOU’LL BE SUCCESSFUL IS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR. If you ball up in fear the moment anything happens, you’ll probably fail. If you suspect the worst anything anything “contrary” happens, you’ll probably fail. If you worry a lot, you’ll probably fail. If you are prone to panic, you’ll probably fail.

    Pretty easy, huh?

    I hope this has been educational, kids. 🙂

    ~Cat

    PS- One of the best parts of writing this article was that in less than 4 hours after posting it, no less than seven people came in complaining about trivial events that were “worrisome” to them, and wanted me to reassure them. *facepalm*

    ALL CONTENT EXCLUDING IMAGE COPYRIGHT 2014 ORIGINALNINJACAT/CAT ASTROPHIED – can not be used, copied, pasted without the author’s express written permission. Image collected off of facebook – if that’s your property and you want me to remove it, please just ask. I thought it was hilarious. :/

  • Learn If You Should Cast a Spell or Have a Spell Cast for You

    Hey Occulties,

    Seeing so much asshattery in my inbox gave me an idea…how about we do a little test. 😉 I’m sure I will have a lot of anti-fans but after the last month and a half I had of people totally not following directions or acting like they couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag (“Cat someone like, told me that, like, he said I’m a nice person! NICE! Nice isn’t sexy! WAAAHHHHH!!!!”) I’m afraid this was a long time coming. I hope I don’t hurt too many feelings but it’s possible. Please read the note at the end before getting too upset.

    Part 1: Multiple Guess

    Q: You find your situation has taken a non-dramatic turn of events for less than 48 hours (for example, your love interest hasn’t returned your call or text, or your did a money spell and new business hasn’t come in for 24 hours when it had been coming in steadily.) Do you:

    a. Totally freak out and think the spell is broken, and perhaps instantly inform your worker (if you solicited outside help,) that the work is going down hill, and/or instantly run to your altar and cast another spell, and/or bitch everything is ruined and give up.

    b. Totally freak out, and worry and analyze what might be wrong. You know you’re “thinking the work to death,” but damnit, you can’t stop.

    c. Not even really notice, because, like, whatevers. If it changes back, great, if not, well it worked for a bit.

    d. Notice, but do not assume the worst. You’ll keep an eye on it, but you realize it’s probably nothing.

    Q: While doing a love spell, you notice that, directly after spellcasting, your love-interest is actually with someone else (something you’d not realized when you cast the spell.) Do you:

    a. Decide this is a sign that you’re a complete failure and instantly give up.

    b. Decide this is a sign you’re not meant to have what you want, and continue to mentally revisit the situation with anguish, imagining them together, all the while hoping the target will love you more.

    c. Not really care, because, well, whatever, if it’s meant to happen, it will, right?

    d. Notice, but do not assume the worst. You might do some work to get rid of the other person if you’re THAT interested in the target, but for a week or two, you’re just going to hang back and let that love spell do it’s magic…because you’re assuming it will.

    Q: Directly after doing a spell to get more money, you receive a large, unforeseen bill. Do you:

    a. Assume this is a sign that God/dess/The Universe/The Almighty/Jupiter/Mercury/etc hates you more than anyone else, and run out of your house pulling out your hair and screaming “Why do my fucking spells never work! FUCK! FUCK!” and/or instantly inform your practitioner that they are a huge scam.

    b. Worry ceaselessly that this is just going to take anything your money spell might bring you, that is IF it ever works at all, then sit there worrying it will work.

    c. Not really care, because like, who pays bills anyhow, right? Haha.

    d. Notice, but do not assume the worst. Obviously, you’ll have to pay this bill, but your windfall from your spell might be greater than anticipated and if you JUST received this bill it was probably en route before you even cast your spell as is, so it’s probable that this has nothing to do with your money spell work.

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    Part 2: True/False

    1. If you deviate from instructions given to you, the results should be the same.

    2. If you work against something happening in the mundane (for example, telling a reconciliation target to eat shit and die during the manifestation phase,) that should not effect your spellwork.

    3. Spells are guaranteed to work. There is no way they can fail. Certain types anyhow.

    4. Faith in the work is irrelevant.

    Part 3: Working with a practitioner:

    1. Your practitioner requires daily updates about everything (True/False)

    2. It doesn’t at all sound like you want free services when you complain months later that nothing happened (True/False)

    3. There is such a thing as not enough updates. (True/False)

    4. You get drunk and text your reconciliation target in a moment of drunken badness. While the resulting conversation was not actually negative, it went against your practitioner’s instructions. Do you:

    a. Decide you must have ruined everything, and give a quivering and sobbing confession to your practitioner.

    b. Worry you ruined everything, but keep the event secret so as not to upset your practitioner and make them angry. What they don’t know can’t hurt them, right?

    c. Figure whatever. If it wasn’t meant to happen, you wouldn’t call. You won’t bother telling the practitioner, either.

    d. Tell your practitioner what happened, and wait for their reply. If it effected the work, they should know, but since it went well, you’re hoping it’s not going to negatively impact the work.

    5. You had someone do a business success working for you, but part of it required you to ritually clean your place of business. You don’t complete the task of the ritual cleaning. Do you:

    a. Blame the practitioner for not working hard enough when the spell is not successful, but never admit to not doing the ritual cleansing.

    b. Admit you never finished the ritual cleansing a few months later when the spell is not successful.

    c. Lie and say you completed the cleaning, but say perhaps the “bad energy” was too strong, and ask for a recast (paid or unpaid.)

    d. Understand you’re the reason for your own failure, and do not trouble that worker again as you are too irresponsible to be trusted.

    6. You find yourself curious about an occult topic entirely unrelated to what you’ve paid your practitioner to do for you. Do you:

    a. Ask them and take up tons of their time unpaid for free education.

    b. Ask them if they will teach you something about it, and offer to pay.

    c. Ask them for resources on the topic, which is a brief request, but don’t offer to pay.

    d. Silently say nothing because whatever.

    ANSWERS:

    Part 1:

    Mostly a’s – NEVER get work done. You’re too reactive and you’re a pain in the ass. You’ll be your own worst enemy. Until you calm down and learn some stillness of mind, you will be an inept spellcaster, and an obnoxious client.

    Mostly b’s – NEVER get work done. You will have horrible lust for results and think it unto death. You’re too prone to worry and the worst candidate for spellwork. You will drive a practitioner nuts.

    Mostly c’s – There is such a thing as “too chill,” and you’re way too chill. 😛 You need to take some interest and notice in your life. I’m pretty sure if your work manifested, you’d not even notice. Perhaps put down the bong for five minutes, then retake the test. 😉

    Mostly d’s – You have a handle on what’s going on. Not everything is worth a panic or even bringing it to someone’s attention. It’s fine to notice changes, but you’re not going to over-dramatize or over-analyze any situation prematurely. You are a practitioner’s dream client.

    Part 2:

    All answers are properly false.

    1. All instructions are paramount to the spell working. 2. You need to do whatever you can to work WITH your spell. You can easily get in your own way when it comes to spellwork, and definitely telling off a reconciliation target is not going to be reconciliatory. 3. There are no guaranteed spells that work no matter what. It doesn’t matter what kind, what someone did, or anything like that. From candleburning to spirit conjure, spell-failure is always a possibility. 4. Faith is hugely relevant to spellwork.

    Part 3.

    1. Your practitioner probably hates daily updates because they rarely bring new news, so false. 2. False. The only thing I see when I read “nothing worked” more than 60 days since the last time I spoke to the client is “give me free shit,” and I can honestly say many of my peers have told me that’s what they infer, too. Sorry, I realize that isn’t nice…but maybe if you know we just see “give me free or reduced cost work,” you might rephrase what you’re saying. It’s sort of like if I was a doctor and gave you chemo, and your cancer came back, do you expect the next round free? Because spells are like a medical treatment, and they don’t always take. OFTEN, unfortunately, this is also the hallmark of a client who the spell did work for, they just have since behaved badly and now need more work. 3. True. We need SOME updates. Don’t complain several months later that nothing happened. I’ve had people complain 6 months after a spell casting that nothing happened, when if they had told me it was floundering at week 3, a simple kick in the butt would have righted the situation (because it was moving forward, then started to flounder a bit at week 3.) It’s good to check in every 2 weeks at least, OR at the appointed time requested by your spellcaster. 4. D is the best answer. Sure, you effed up, but if it’s a big deal you should tell your spellcaster. 5. All of the choices suck. There is no right answer. Once you didn’t follow instructions, you failed. I guess own up to it immediately is the right answer. 😉 6. b or c are both good answers. Most people are happy to give a quick point in the right direction, but if you need added time, you should pay for it.

    *****

    Listen, I understand that many people are new to spells, excited by spells, scared by spells or just don’t know what to do. When working with clients, I tell people it’s best to check in every few weeks at least, but even once a week is usually fine. I’ve had people who would let me know every thought they had (bad) to people who tell me months later that there wasn’t enough effect or an effect (which, then, even if I believe them from knowing them, I’m left with a situation where any impact I may have had has probably ceased influencing the situation.)

    If you want something to work and you’re doing the work yourself?

    1. HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. The road will not always be free of obstacles, and little annoyances can and do happen. Don’t see every momentary hurdle as a bad sign. If I’m hiking up a mountain, I don’t see every point where the trail gets rough as that meaning the trail doesn’t exist or I’m lost – I navigate wisely, and generally the trail returns to normal again…it’s the same idea. It can get rough here or there, but it’s 20 paces and you’re back to an easy walk again. People who see any possible “contrary” movement in their situation as “a bad sign” are not going to do well in spellcasting. They are the hiker who won’t make it up the proverbial mountain for 20 paces of rough terrain being “too scary” to navigate without declaring failure. Don’t be that person.

    2. FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. If you’re too lazy or you just don’t care enough to follow the instructions given for any working, than don’t freaking even bother spellcasting and wasting your time. 😉

    3. WORK WITH THE SPELL. One thing, even in spirit-conjure, that any good magician does is looks for opportunities to help the work manifest. Don’t go fighting with a love target and complain the love spell didn’t work. Don’t spend all the money that money spell brought in and complain it didn’t cover the bill you needed covering. Work WITH your spellwork.

    4. USE TACTICS. If you want to attract the opposite (or same) sex, be clean, dress nice, and do things in the mundane that attract them. Don’t be boorish/gross. If you want the love of a particular person, don’t be smothery or creepy, but don’t ignore them either. If you want the job, don’t sleep with the boss’s daughter then recount what a whore she is to the boss… 😉 (See number 3) Use that brain and all those things you learned.

    I do hope this was a slightly amusing and interesting (and educational) test and instructive post. If you hate me for it…well, keep in mind – I’ve taught A LOT of people to stop engaging in bad behaviors, and I’ve helped a lot of people learn to cast spells. Ultimately, I can offer the information, but they need to be the ones to use it properly.

    Best wishes,

    ~Cat

    All content except picture of Buddha with funny saying copyright 2014 OriginalNinjaCat and cannot be copied, pasted, transmitted and/or used without my express and written permission.

    Picture of Buddha with funny saying found on Facebook. I assume the pic is old enough to be in the free domain, but if the funny saying part is your work, and you want it removed, please just let me know immediately and I will remove it.

  • QYAM: August 2014 Edition

    Hey there, Occulties,

    Time to answer another round of questions which have been plaguing my inbox. 😉 Hope this is educational for some of you.

    Q: What, in your opinion, is the single best skill to start working on for a new magician/rootworker/spellcaster?

    A: I answer this question probably every few years, and while some of it is truly retaining information (a practiced practitioner DOES NOT consult a book throughout ritual for the whole of the ritual) I do believe meditation and learning focus of the will and mind (usually through the practice of meditation,) is hugely important.

    Here’s the thing: every single paradigm (that is type) of spellcraft you might want to practice can be improved by your meditating and learning meditation. You don’t have to practice Hoodoo, you don’t have to practice Quimbanda, you don’t have to practice Enochian – but any of those three and any other paradigm you might choose for yourself will be improved when you start learning to focus via meditation, and continued daily meditation will only improve your abilities.

    Q: I really enjoyed your “Magical screw up” story (regarding using Mars with reconciliation)! Do you have more of those? It’s sort of a learning experience for me to see someone practiced can screw up.

    A: I have more than a few, but most of them are also quite the view into my personal life as a young person…while that doesn’t really bother me, I do have to account for the fact that some people I’m still close with, and many people I love (whether or not we remain close to this day,) who were with me and on my mind at that time are going to feel I’m telling too much about them as well.

    It’s not actually bizarre for anyone (even someone past the novice stage) to “screw up” or have a silly mistake, and/or a relatively humorous event occur here and there. About ten years ago, I lit my sleeve on fire while lighting a seven-day glass-encased candle. I was keeping my mind focused and doing my chant while trying to put my sleeve out – I suspect that was visually humorous. 😉 There’s the time I went on a reconnaissance to get a physical item from a target which ended up being something from his mother. There was the time an exploding plate (which was fill of spell candles) blew up, and a flying piece shattered my TV (the old box kind, not a flat screen.) All of these are at least humorous in retrospect. 😉

    Q: Without psychic ability, can you tell a spell will fail?

    A: Honestly, yes, I often can tell just by someone’s behavior before, during, and after the work itself is complete. Anyone who whines, can’t follow directions, can’t take their mind off of the working, can’t take their mind off of the situation being worked on, and who “gets in their own way” constantly will rarely get what they want. Sincerely, whining is like a giant glowing red flag of someone who won’t ever succeed, and probably won’t succeed at anything mundane, much less magical.

    However, past the douchebag who won’t stop bitching problem, there’s always just the absolutely absurd request. Sometimes, regardless of what you do, what you want is outside of your Sphere of Availability, and so much so, you will not be able to reach it using spells. For example, trying to grow another 4 fingers (two on each hand!!) using spells is probably not going to happen. 😉

    Another telling sign is how defensive a person gets if rejected. For example, if you say “Cat will you please help increase my income,” and I look into the situation, and feel I won’t meet your expectations, so I politely say no (so presumably, you’ve also acted nice and normal up to this point,) and you react by telling me off and having a severe hissy fit, and telling me I can’t do shit…you already know you’ll never get what you want. You had that premonition come to you long before you came to me. People who are very defensive about no already KNOW they aren’t going to succeed, even with spells. Every human has a bit of precognition, and I assure you, that person wouldn’t be so defensive, rude, and upset if they didn’t already know for a fact that they were fighting a losing battle. :/

    Q: Have you ever done anything, spellwise, that worked, that you regret?

    A: I don’t really know that I regret too many things I’ve done. I guess this is because, personally, I think it’s sort of a stupid way to live one’s life to regret having made bad choices, – at least as far as I can tell, – because, at least by my own definition of the term “regret,” this just means you’ve not accepted and come to terms with something. 😛 And if I did something that was “bad”? Well, I mean, I have forgiven myself long ago for making those mistakes. I think it’s ridiculous that someone beats themselves up over fucking up their life or someone else’s for years of time after so doing whatever thing to fuck up their life. I just don’t feel that way about things for very long. It’s not to say I’ve never done something stupid or embarrassing or even needlessly hurtful. It’s not to say I’ve never looked back on my actions and wondered what the fuck I was thinking, or realized I was being a turd. I’ve just come to terms with just about everything in my life, I’ve learned how to do better or be a better person from all those experiences, and so I don’t regret any part of it. I can’t say I’m proud of some of those things, or that I now think I did the right thing, I just own it, take responsibility for who I was, accept it all, and move on.

    Sure, I’ve hurt people with curses that I probably should not have hurt like that for the “crimes” they did against me (I also didn’t curse some people who really deserved to be cursed, too.) Those curses worked very well, and those people got what was coming to them and then some. Sure, I’ve brought back exes I should have left in the past, but I wasn’t ready to let go and so I got my second chance and saw that I should let them go. I’m a human like everyone else, I fuck up, and I do bad or selfish things sometimes. It’s all part of learning to be a better, less-selfish person who does less embarrassing, and/or selfish, and/or mean things by knowing from experience that doing those things or spellcasting to those ends will not bring me happiness.

    Anyone who regrets his or her choices for an extended period of time has not yet come to terms with their own mistakes (at least by my definition of “regret,”) and, in my opinion, needs to spend some time focusing on why this still effects them enough to make them feel regret. It’s one thing to say “That was pretty stupid/shitty of me to do that,” another to still feel a twang of regret or pain when remembering the event.

    I’m not some mystical stone-hearted robot by any stretch of the imagination. Some times things hurt me longer than they should, but I find that time will help me get over just about anything. It can take a few months, even a few years, but everything I’ve ever done and experienced made me who I am today, and I like who I am.

    I guess…I wish I could save some of the loved ones that I have lost – or kept them from experiencing a slow death if that was their end. In all cases, I had nothing to do with their passing or what caused them to pass on, but that’s really all I regret in life… It’s not having those people with me, or that they suffered – and I couldn’t prevent that – before they moved on. Since it has nothing to do with a magic spell, I can’t say that it’s regarding anything magical. If I could go back in time and save those folks from pain and/or death, I surely would, and I miss them every day…otherwise, no regrets here. 😛

    That said, if you want to prevent yourself from “regrets,” assuming you’re the type to hold on to things, then don’t do anything mean or cruel or selfish unless you’re sure you’re justified. Think about it for a week before you curse someone. Think about it for a week before you use coercive spells. Think about how much of your time you are dedicated to bringing something to you, and if you’re sure it will be worth that investment before you devote yourself. I can’t be the judge to tell you if what you want will be meaningful enough to make that time investment or to take that action. Only you can decide.

    IMG_0341Q: I hear it’s evil to work against someone’s free will using spells, and that my “karma” will be effected. What do you think?

    A: Please notice I put quotes around karma, because I don’t think you know or understand what karma actually is if you say this to me. Now, I’m going out on a limb here, and I am going to assume you’re not a practicing Buddhist (and I don’t mean you read a book once, or use Buddhist elements in things, – I mean you are not a practicing Buddhist,) or a practicing Hindu (again, some elements of Hinduism in your spiritual life do not make you a Hindu.) Since I’m assuming you’re neither practicing Hindu or Buddhist, I’m also going to let you know that I’m assuming you’re a basic Western-hemisphere resident as well, and probably one who is naive enough to believe that karma means “That which you do in this life will have some spiritual effect in this life, like doing a good thing, brings more good things, and doing bad things brings more bad things (both as a form of spiritual reward,) generally within the next few weeks but at least within this lifetime.” That is not what karma means. Loosely, karma means that which you do in this life – or I should say, that which you learn or fail to learn, that which you accomplish or fail to accomplish…because it’s not really about good and bad, – will effect your next incarnation.

    So, if you do a coercive spell, maybe it will effect your next incarnation. I’m a Catholic, so I’m the wrong person to ask. You might try asking a Buddhist monk, or a Hindu sage.

    I personally do not believe using coercive spells to be “evil,” and while I understand this was (and perhaps still is) at one-time a widely-promoted idea to keep newbies from “hurting others and themselves,” I’m not that kind of teacher. I am not the “everyone gets an award so no one gets hurt” type of person. If you’re going to do something stupid, at least you might learn from it. 😛 And, here’s the thing, I’ll let you know if you’re about to do something stupid, but then, I’m not going to stop you from using coercion because I don’t think its use makes you stupid…to be fair, I won’t even stop you from doing something stupid except to tell you that you’re being stupid. In fact, working ass-backwards to avoid being coercive is, in my opinion, kind of stupid. I know, I know, I used “stupid” too much in this paragraph, which is kind of stupid of me. 🙂

    So, where exactly did this “Do not work against someone’s free will, OR ELSE!” idea come from? I would chance a guess that’s Wicca, the less-than-100-years-old religion which was created by Gerald Gardner. Since magic pre-dates this religion by A HELL OF A FUCKING LOT (hint: magic is thousands of years old!) I’m pretty sure that, if you’re not a Wiccan, or some form of neo-pagan sect which evolved off of Wicca, that you’re pretty free and clear of having any sort of Wicca religious beliefs apply to you. HOWEVER, if you’re Wiccan, check with your priest and/or priestess to see how you are apply the “Wiccan Rede” to your spellwork, as some people do not use the whole rede, just the first part. I was taught it was “If you harm none, do as you will; if you harm some do as you must.” So, I mean, you can protect yourself and all, as that’s a MUST, it’s just you’re not supposed to go all harming and coercing if it’s unneeded and you’re a Wiccan. Oh, and as I said, some sects only use the first part, and you’re supposed to never hurt anyone and turn all the cheeks you got and never protect yourself apparently.

    For the rest of us who are not practicing Wicca or Wicca-derived religions, I say apply some ethics in your decision-making skills, certainly, but no, casting coercive spells is not inherently evil, and I can’t speak of what it will do for your karma because I don’t know if it effects your next incarnation. The widely-promoted belief that using coercion is bad did really start infecting minds around when Wicca’s popularity soared back in the 1990’s, so I’m going to assume using controlling spells is bad for Wiccans. Everyone else? We’re all cool. Go effect some free will and all. 😉

    Q: Do you think working with saints is like spirit conjure?

    A: Nope. I think it’s praying to saints is what I think it is. I put it up on about the same level as people who ask deceased friends and family for assistance by praying to them, because basically, it’s the same thing. While not all saints are people-spirits, the vast majority did walk this earth as people, so there’s that to consider (A LOT of spirit-conjure involves never-human spiritual entities.) If this saint is recognized by the Catholic church, I can also reasonably say it’s not a being so dangerous to contact that I’d avoid so doing unless you are doing so out of great necessity, as well…whereas I can think of several spirits I’d say “Don’t do it unless you havta,” about. 😉 Basically, it’s a very safe practice, and you are asking the assistance of spiritually-powerful individuals on asking the Almighty for a favor on your behalf – they intercede on your behalf. It isn’t calling something never-human out of goodness-only-knows-where (the ether? the cthonic realms?) to do something for you, it’s asking a being who was probably human in life to put in a good word for you with the head of the Universe to accomplish a certain end. While it works quite nicely when you pray to saints to bring about that which you’ve wished for, it’s like comparing leaves and grass in regards to spirit conjure.

    Somewhat unrelated, but if you contact me to ask me which saint is best for your problem, I’ll tell you to go consult one of the many guides to what saints are patrons of that exist on the internet. I’m not a guide to saints. There are these lovely places called churches where you might find clergy more willing to assist you. 🙂 Since some knob who thinks I’m a free search engine for anything spiritual or magical asks me this at least once a month, I figured I’d just throw this out there.

    Q: What is the longest ever span of time you ever heard of someone reconciling an ex? (I mean from when they broke up to got back together, so like how long?)

    A: Well, non-magically, it was like 20-25 years. I mean, no one used a spell but the couple broke up something like 25 years before and got back together.

    Magically, I guess it was 5-6 years. One case might be 8 years. In both cases, the petitioner had previously given up on the ex for several of those years, so it wasn’t straight years of spellcasting.

    Q: Can I reuse a witness sample/bio item/picture?

    A: I don’t feel that you can, no. If you print out a new picture (but it’s the same image, just a new print of it,) that’s fine, but you can’t reuse the same hair or spitwad repeatedly and pull out of spells for re-use, in my opinion.

    Hope that was educational. I know it was a lot of repeats, but as I always say, we’d have a lot less of those if people just weren’t so lazy and read the archives. 😉

    Best wishes,

    ~Cat


    This work is copyrighted and cannot be used in any manner without the express written permission of the author. Copyright 2014, OriginalNinjaCat

  • Q&A: Why Would a Love-Spell Target Hide His/Her Reaction to the Spellwork?

    Hi Occulties,

    The above question floated into my emailbox this past week, and since I suspect some of you are curious, I’ll just publicly answer this to the best of my ability.

    Please keep in mind, the human mind and human emotions are as complex and varied as can be. I can’t list all of the reasons (because there would be, I presume, an almost infinite number thereof,) but I can try to enlighten everyone as to some of the more popular reasons love-spell targets hide their reactions or why you might get a “weird, partial” manifestation.

    Let’s start with REGULAR OLD LOVE SPELLS (not reconciliation):

    Fear of rejection – Most people fear having their romantic pursuits rejected, and fear this rejection to varying degrees. Remember, if you really have your heart on your sleeve, it can be crushing to hear the other party doesn’t feel similarly. So, if you’ve been using spellwork to strum those tender heart-strings in your target, they may very well worry they are about to get emotionally-crushed by your rejection when they admit their crush on you. 😛

    It’s how we’re raised to act – People tend to forget this when they use love-spells… At least in my culture, and how I was raised, we are told to not make ourselves so vulnerable by letting our feelings be known. If I love so-and-so, but I think he is unawares, then I should not be overt about my feelings. If I am, then I must be clingy, or unstable, or just stupid. By being overt, I’m going to give an idea of emotional vulnerability, and with no signal from the object of my affections that this is welcome, I may be making a fool of myself. These are the things your target may very well think when they become effected by your work.

    There’s a big smelly obstacle in the way – Sometimes the problem is not so much a fear of rejection or a fear of showing emotional-vulnerability, but rather, there is something which prohibits the target from properly showing his or her affections… For example, perhaps his/her friend is also interested in you, and they feel it would harm their friendship with this person to make a move. Perhaps you both work in the same job, and there is a rule at that workplace which prohibits co-workers from dating. Maybe you’re just a jerk and you’re married and you’re trying to get the love of someone who won’t make a move on a married person – or on the other side of that, perhaps you’re a jerk who goes after married people and your target would never cheat on his/her spouse. Maybe your intended doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships, and you both live 8 hours apart.

    They’re just not that (sexually) into you – I’ve seen people cast love spells and end up with a great pal, but nothing else. While you can definitely enflame lust into a person, there are times where you’re only going to get so far. 😛 If you keep pushing your target, and finding even adding in some lust work is not giving you great results, I want you to consider something…perhaps you have chosen someone so far outside of your sphere of availability that you’re going to get a bad reaction when and if you get this person into bed. I can think of an incident where a male friend of mine tried working love spells on me for years, but honestly, I found him about as sexually exciting as a root canal, which is to say, not at all. I was not, in the least, attracted. However, we became very good friends, which is why he confessed to me later that he’d been working mojos on me for awhile, and finally given up. 😛 I never said as much to him, but if I’d woken up in bed with him one morning, that would be the end of our friendship…the idea of sleeping with him was so adverse to me. So, his spells worked – I loved him very much as a friend, but I’d decided well before he started turning a root on me that there was no chance for us to be lovers. I don’t know if he focused on lust whatsoever, to be fair, but I never considered him boyfriend material. 😉

    They’re just not that (romantically) into you – Ah, the friend-zone…it’s not the world’s worst place to be, because you can hang out with the object of your affection, but you do have to realize no one owes you sex or romantic love for just being their friend (and I do hope you are truly their friend despite not getting lust or romantic love,) and sometimes all of us will get totally “friend-zoned.” While some may argue (and be correct in certain instances) that you can leave the friend-zone and enter into the relationship-zone, this isn’t always the case, spells or no. In my experience, it’s easier to get someone’s sexual attentions using spells than it is to get their romantic attentions. If you keep tossing love spells at a friend, and just keep finding yourself with a better friend who doesn’t want to be in love with you, there’s a possibility that you’ve been permanently friend-zoned. See above, regarding sex, but also consider lots of people have sex with their friends (it’s called “friends with benefits”). If just having a sexual encounter with this person will upset you all the more (because you are in love,) consider that as well…you might just end up in bed with your friend, or losing a friend you took to bed. See, your friend might not have a problem doing the horizontal mambo with you, but they might not want to date you…because you’re such a good friend. :/

    They’re just not capable of having a normal relationship with anyone – Some people are just broken, and I don’t mean they are necessarily bad people. Bad assoholic psychopaths have relationships all of the time. In fact, bad assoholic people often are the reason other people can’t have normal relationships. If your target shows a pattern of always dating 2 people at once, a fear of commitment, dishonesty, etc, you may have someone who really just isn’t capable of a mutually-exclusive or normal romantic relationship with anyone. Spellwork doesn’t make a person suddenly not have all of the emotional problems and personality quirks that made them hard to get to commit before. Rather, it uses the path of least resistance. So, if someone is always cheating on you, then maybe you use a love spell, and now they love you more and still cheat on you. More on that in a bit.*

    ONTO RECONCILIATION SPELLS:

    Everything under Love Spells – Yep, everything I listed under the love spell header above could be a possible problem, but also…

    Maybe you’re scary to them – Are you being scary? Right now, are you acting all insane and weepy and scary? Don’t do that. Did you chase your ex around with an axe? Do something violent? That was bad. Threaten suicide? That was wrong. All of this is very wrong, and you shouldn’t do those things. Calling/texting repeatedly? Bad. In fact, don’t email or post or leave bad stuff in writing. People go back and re-read that stuff. They get more scared and more angry by it when they do. So, are you done acting scary? Promise you’re done? OK. Now, see, you’re still scary to them. They might love you, might even be effected by your spellwork and forgive you…but, sadly, you’re probably still scary to them if you acted super scary. :/ The cure for this is usually time and good behavior, and during that time you might be alone. If you were scary and bad and mean, expect that this person may refuse to return to you out of fear that you might behave badly again. Remember, I did go over this here, and it’s probably a good article to check out if you are considering acting badly.

    They think going back is a sign of weakness – While everyone says they will never ever come back again, and while everyone tells me “So-and-so is stubborn,” let me assure you, most people are not that stubborn. However, there does exist a certain sub-set in the population who will never ever ever go back – and not because they aren’t aching and longing and beating themselves up over how much they want to, but because they really have decided they can’t ever return to anyone once any romantic relationship is over. I’ve known maybe TWO people like this ever. And that’s in all my years on this planet, and no I wasn’t dating them. 😉 Everyone says they are this person, but, in reality, the vast majority of people are not. In my single days, I have been known as the world’s greatest recycler of exes so I am not one of these people, lol. But these people do exist, and, at least with the 2 I know, they would not be moved. It didn’t matter how broken-hearted they were, or how much they wanted their ex back, they refused to return. Nothing would change their mind. Now, in this case, you might just keep working on them. People have and people do. Sometimes you win the difficult and stubborn party over. But if you’ve been working on your ex for years, you keep getting big sad “I miss you and love you,” looks from them, you were never scary and/or mean during the break, and they still won’t come home, you might have discovered what I would term the most prideful, stubborn person on the planet. They won’t go back, it’s a sign of weakness. I foresee a lot of crying and stupidity in my inbox over this entry, so before that starts, please understand, this is an incredibly small percentage of people, and the 2 I referenced above aren’t anyone I know to have had spellwork put on them…I just watched both of them agonize for a few YEARS over an ex that they could have easily had back. 😛

    You already made them forgive you, but you forgot to add a trigger to make them come back – This one is actually pretty common. You used reconciliation work, but you didn’t use anything to entice romantic love from this person, or sexual love from this person, or even anything to compel them to return. You probably used straight-up reconciliation products and little else. Well, that’s fabulous, and it’s done it’s work. You are forgiven. That doesn’t mean they want to be yours again, just that they forgive you. 😛 So, if you think you fell into this trap, use products like Love Me or Come to Me and forget the reconciliation stuff. You already fixed that part. 😉

    They want to do the nasty with you, but they are still too hurt to want to come back romantically – In this case, you probably used too much sex/lust-oriented products in your reconciliation spells, and you’re not forgiven… 😉 Try doing the opposite of the above, and using MORE reconciliation products and LESS or NO sexy love products. 😉

    You keep making the same mistakes that broke up the relationship – If your ex keeps coming back a little bit and running off again, you’re probably making the mistakes that chased them off to begin with. Just because a spell makes someone return, it’s not a magic bullet that protects against being a horse’s butt. 😉 If you act out, if you are rude, unkind, or anything your intended dislikes, they may very well be discouraged even if your spells are working on them. So, when you’re not around, they might think positively about you, only to remember all the things that put them off of liking you the moment they make contact with you. Do your best to AVOID fighting with your target, being accusatory, being rude during the stages when they are coming back. You’d be surprised how many people need this reminder. 😛

    They forgive you, they love you, but they don’t trust you – While I’m sure it exists, I can’t think of a spell that will rebuild trust quickly. If you lied, cheated, or in some wise betrayed this person, they might forgive you, but they may not trust you any time soon. :/ Unfortunately, earning trust can be very difficult, and many people will give up on getting the person back before they’ve earned that person’s trust enough to come back. If your intended is worth it, then keep working that love mojo on them and proving you’re a reformed person. If they forgive you and love you, the trust can probably be rebuilt as long as you don’t eff up again. But it will take time. 😛 So, if you were traitorous or deceptive to your ex, but have cast some spells to reconcile them, and you’ve noticed your ex is warm to you, and has expressed their forgiveness but won’t let you back, best start working on rebuilding trust with them. Many people require trust in a relationship, so it’s important that you work on showing them you can be trusted.

    It’s too soon – Sometimes, when you’re a total bag of dicks to someone, they just aren’t READY to forgive you. You might see the entry above where I speak of people being scary. Well, that’s a possibility. OR perhaps the break up was so traumatic, that they DO need to process it alone. Your trying to draw the person back is merely lengthening and impeding process because they need to be away from you to properly psychologically process the events. 😛 While it’s rare, I’ve seen reconciliations that took place YEARS later that probably would never have occurred unless they took place years later. The general rule of thumb with reconciliation spells is to work as fast as you can, and I’m usually, in 99 cases out of 100, an advocate of working as quickly as you can to fix the situation, but it’s NOT ALWAYS the right choice.

    It’s too late – Listen, if you’ve been working on your ex for years now, and they’re married happily to someone else, and have 3 kids with that person. You might just move on. You can love someone and not be with them. It’s not the worst thing possible. They aren’t dead or dying, sure, so there’s a chance, but seriously, the chances are most-likely MUCH MUCH MUCH slimmer than they once were.

    They never loved you anyway/You confused a sexual encounter with love – If someone did the nasty with you like 3 times, they are probably not in love with you. One night stands don’t need reconciliation work…you might try love work, though. That’s more apt to bring you what you want. 😛

    *TO THE “I CAN MICRO-MANAGE ANY PERSON INTO BEING MY PERFECT MATE GROUP:

    Above I said that if you make a cheater love you, they will still cheat even if they love you. Well, I know some smart ass is like “Nuh-uh, Cat, because I can tie his nature. Then he won’t get hard for anyone.”

    Let’s presume you know the secret to tie a man’s nature, and you’re just amazing at it. So, he goes to cheat, and his pecker lies limp. Well, he still has 2 hands and a mouth, presumably, but you’re just going to tell me he’s a very selfish man. So he goes to the doctor and gets Viagra. However, you just tie his nature some more. Then he gets prostate cancer. Now not even Viagra will resurrect his dead cock. Of course, it won’t work for you, (or anyone) so now you have a man with a dead dick. Bravo.

    Alright, let’s assume you are just the love-bindiest person that ever existed. You say “I won’t tie anyone’s nature, but I will bind this person to me! They will always be bound in love to me!!!!” Very well then, so this person is a cheater who loves you – we’ve established they are a chronic cheater. Are we agreed there? So, now you’ve just bound someone who will cheat on you anyhow to follow you about for the rest of your days. Again, you didn’t fix the cheating.

    “BUT CAT! I WILL MAKE THIS PERSON NEVER LEAVE MY SIDE!!!” you say.

    Oh, that sounds functional. So, presuming this doesn’t turn into something where you both get liquified in an unfortunate wood-chipping accident and become a combined corpse, how else could this go… Well, a baby is the two of you combined, but this person might leave. You still have them with you forever, combined, in a new human. Or Perhaps this person will never leave your side. Maybe he or she will constantly hover over you wheresoever you go, even when you’re pooping. That doesn’t sound like a fun relationship. So…you want someone calling you non-stop, every second, for the rest of your life or something? That says a lot about you.

    “No,” you say “I just don’t want Cheaty Mc Cheaterpants to cheat on me!” Here’s the thing there… If someone is a natural-born cheater (and they do exist,) while there are temporary fixes, you’re merely keeping someone who’s made to cheat in love with you. You might have to constantly be vigilant, and even then, the likelihood is they will love you very much, but will get away and cheat. :/ Go ahead and tie some natures if you want, but if magic takes the path of least resistance, you might just cause severe health issues.

    Spells do not change the person from who they are. They don’t change the personality like that. If someone is cold and unaffectionate by nature, a spell will only temporarily warm them up. If someone isn’t really a highly sexed person, even the sexiest love spell will only temporarily make them more horny. If someone speaks harshly to you and has a bad temper, you can work a honey jar all you want, and they may improve, but if you stop working the jar, you may very well have a rude, ill-tempered lover again soon enough. Stop working love spells thinking they will create a brand new person. Love spells enflame feelings of love – they don’t create compatibility.

    Now, I’m not a stupid woman, and I know many of you will ignore that bold face line above. So, allow me to tell you a little something. 🙂 Over the years, I’ve come across people who are quite literally holding their “beloved” hostage with love spells. I don’t mean that these folks are holding a pink candle to someone’s head, threatening to kill them if they leave (my mental image after typing that is a crazy lady threatening to wax a man to death, whilst beating him with a man-shaped candle,) but rather that they have come to a point where the relationship is so tenuous and so being held together only by love spells, that it is falling apart constantly. Think of this relationship like a lamp, alright? So, we buy this brand new lamp, and someone knocks it off the table. It makes a clean break in 2 pieces. Now that break is representative of a break up between the couple. So, we get our glue (reconciliation spell) and we mend the lamp. It looks as good as new really…can’t even see that crack unless you’re up close. Well, the dog knocks it over and this time it’s in five pieces. (another break some fighting etc,) So we glue this back together, and now it looks a touch shabby, but it still works. Now, every time that figurative lamp breaks, our repair of it will be less stable, correct? At some point even lightly touching that lamp will cause it to fall to a heap of rubble. So it is with relationships. As you keep mending the relationship and keep trying to micromanage your target, the relationship becomes less stable and more tenuous. So, if you have to cast a love spell on someone almost weekly to keep them with you, that means you are using love spells to keep them hostage, and the relationship will fall apart. So, go ahead and spellcast on that person, but remember, love spells do not create compatibility. If it is not meant to be it will eventually fall apart…

    Again, I’m not a stupid woman. I know many of you won’t listen. 😉

    Hope this was helpful.

    ~Cat

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