Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • Dealing with Prejudice

    Hello My Occulties,

    I’d like to speak with you today about prejudice against those interested in the occult and spells. Some of you have written into me asking what to do when this happens, and here’s my advice.

    All of us with an interest in the occult will feel, at some time, as though those in our lives misunderstand our inclinations towards learning this information, or even that they feel this is some sort of negative or evil desire on our part to persue these studies. I am, honestly, very “normal looking,” (someone even called me “preppy” the other day, hehe,) and yet, I’ve had very dear friends of mine refuse to acknowledge me after reading the contents of my blog. Even though I’ve never hidden my interest in the occult and spellcasting (NEVER EVER have I projected anything but a great interest in the occult,) I’m basically the same person that I was 10, 15 years ago (a little more grown up, perhaps,) apparently what was “funky,” and “cool” in their 20’s is evil now. 😛

    Ignorance and bigortry is nothing more than a sickness, and obviously, they are sick-unto-death with it. I’ve not changed. I’m still Cat. If fear and prejudice keeps someone from being my friend, they are not worth caring about, though I do still wish them the best (and if I was really miffed, I have some pretty scandalous photos from their youth, mwahahahahhaha.) I treasure the people I love, and short of them creating child pornography rings or becoming drug dealers standing in front of elementary schools, I don’t imagine I’d ever reject my friends past or present.

    YOU should take the same perspective. F*** the people who don’t accept you for being you. Your study probably won’t change who you are. I don’t expect if you are a soccer-mom that you are going to overnight become a Goth…or for that matter if you’re Goth, I don’t expect you to morph into a soccer-mom! 😉

    Occult people come in all shapes, all forms of dress, all walks of life. People who don’t understand that are not worthy of you. 90% of my readers (at least those I’ve met,) were not the people you’d presume to have any interest in the occult if you saw them walking down the street…hell, considering I was walking down the street singing “Saturday in the Park,” a few days ago, and looking like a stereotypical sorority girl, I doubt you think I look like I like the occult….but who said we look or act a certain way? Bigots, that’s who…and look how ignorant and stupid they are when you look at reality.

    F*ck ignorant bigots. Their lives are so small because they cannot see past their own prejudice and stereotypes, and know that they will lead a life much less fullfilled because of it. If someone turns their back on you for your interest in the occult, they are not worth your time. The only thing you can do is go on being who you are, and know that if someone would turn their back on you for your interest in the occult, they probably were never your true friend to begin with – and if they are your true friend, they will get over themselves eventually, and come back.

    ~Cat

  • Fixing the Skull Candle for the Controlling Spell

    WARNING TO PLAGURISTS – Oct 17, 2008: I recently learned this spell is being featured on someone’s site. My site clearly details you are not to copy and paste any of my work anywhere without my express permission. While these plagurists are dealing with my lawyer, I do urge you to contact me if you’ve seen this spell elsewhere. I created this spell, this is copyright me, originally made by me. I have never given anyone any permission at any point to post it anywhere.

    Since everyone wanted to see some images regarding the candle used in this post, I’d like to show you all a few images of a skull candle I’ve fixed for you to see.

    Here in the first photo is the candle. I bought this one from Stormsong.org, and they DO have the perfect size in regards to this candle. 🙂
    Img_0041

    Here in photo 2 it is where I have made marks where I plan to put holes in it:
    Img_0044

    Here in the third photo the candle is where I have used a hot piece of metal to make the holes:
    Img_0046

    Here in photo four are the poppy seeds in one of the holes:
    Img_0048

    Photo four is the hole which has now been fixed with wax:
    Img_0049

    And lastly, in the fifth photo, I put this in because not all of these types of candles have this, but these nifty ones from Stormsong DO…if you look there is a place under the jaw to put your biological item in. Awesome!
    Img_0050

    And that’s that. You drill 4 holes in using a heated nail or screwdriver, pour in poppy seeds, seal with wax, and place your personal item from your target in the bottom. 🙂

    Hope the visual aid was some help! – PLEASE CLICK ON THE PHOTO IF YOU WANT TO SEE A LARGER IMAGE! 🙂

    Also, you can purchase these candles, per special request, with the poppy seeds HERBED in right from Stormsong.org… Thank you R’Chel from Stormsong for taking some time to discuss this with me this week. 🙂

    ~Cat

  • Simple Stuff for Money and Cleansing

    Hi everyone,

    So today, whilst doing my regular prosperity routine, it struck me… Most of you must think your friend Cat is constantly sitting at the world’s biggest altar set up for each and every aspect of her own life.

    Not true.

    In fact, as I’ve offered services for others, I more oft than not am using quicker, and more simple spells for myself. This is because I have less time, and less space for myself. 5 years ago…sure, I probably did have my buns in front of a giant altar set up every day. 😉 Then again, I wasn’t selling the “cherry” time slots, nor was I selling off the better supplies, nor all the space on the big altars. 😉

    Its not to say I don’t prefer using the more complicated spellcraft for myself…I certainly do,…but I do sometimes need to compromise because I still have to work for myself, even when the best time slots and biggest spaces have been sold off to others.. 😉

    What does an occult mastermind do for herself to keep herself going when she’s got no time? Easy stuff. 😉 Here’s a sample of the spells I do for myself when I am without much time or space to do the nice big altar set ups I love. Keep in mind…these are protective/cleansing spells and a money spell…your friend Cat is fortunate in that she need not regularly use love, control, or cursing spells for her life. 😉

    For Prosperity:
    Irish Moss Flakes
    Lemongrass
    Orange taper candle
    New Orleans Style Fast Luck Oil
    Money Drawing Oil
    Paper bag,
    Black pen
    Heat proof cake tin
    Brass candle holder

    Using the black pen, the name paper is written out 5 times, first with the full name of the petitioner like this:
    Jane Doe
    Jane Doe
    Jane Doe
    Jane Doe
    Jane Doe
    Then turn the paper so that the names are running vertically, and write horizontially across the names 5 times:
    Fast Luck, Fast Money
    Fast Luck, Fast Money
    Fast Luck, Fast Money
    Fast Luck, Fast Money
    Fast Luck, Fast Money
    Now take a drop of Fast Luck oil, and dab each of the four corners of the paper with a drop of this oil, and put a drop into the center of the paper as well. Sprinkle a bit of Irish moss flakes and lemongrass leaves into the center of the paper. Fold in half towards you, fold in half towards you again. Set aside.

    Using a nail or pin scratch the following UP (from base to wick) on the candle: “(Full name of Petitioner) has good luck and money fast.” Take 2 drops Fast Luck oil, and 1 drop Money Drawing oil, and anoint the candle up (base to wick,) with seven pulls of the hand. Now hold the candle in your hand for a few moments, and envision golden energy filling the candle. If this is too difficult for you, then you should hold the candle for a few moments while envisioning yourself being more prosperous. 😉 Sprinkle candle liberally with Irish moss flakes (available at Mtn Rose Herbs – see banner below,) and lemongrass leaves. Secure your orange candle to a brass candle holder, and place your name paper beneath the candle holder. Place both within your heat proof container.

    Design

    Light the candle and hold both hands to either side. Say, “By this candle’s fire, I bring to me my heart’s desire,” (herein state your desire, ie “money fast, good luck fast,”) “What I ask is mine, what I want is won – so say I, this spell is done. This spell shall not reverse nor place upon me any curse, as is my will, so be it!” Allow the candle to burn out, and when it has, bury your name paper someplace on your home property where it will not be disturbed.

    I cast that spell once every Sunday…and I am very content with my results. 😀

    For Cleansing
    Nextly, in my line of work, I am oft the target of morons who are either threatened by me or who feel that I am in some way a fair target because I am there. 😉 Yes, these people are hella lame, but its all part of the risk I take in making a blog and presenting myself publicly… I have a few simple self cleansings I use (I also have several protective spells up, so most people just get whatever they threw at me back in their face tenfold, mwhahaha,) to wash off any neg energies that might accumulate by either being sent by those who would harm me, or in the practice of somewhat negative workings. 🙂

    A simple bath you can use is a mix of equal parts hyssop, rue, and eucalyptus leaves (about 1/2 cup of each,) and you want to pour about 4 cups boiling water on these, add to bathwater, and wash DOWN, (head to feet,) while saying the 37th psalm (you can say any appropriate blessing or uncrossing prayer to your faith if you do not like using psalms,) then take the bathwater out and throw it OFF your property to the west. I suggest taking the bath before dawn if possible, and using it either seven days in a row, or using once a week.

    I also like “smudging” myself and my ritual space (and even my home,) regularly with a smudge stick made of white sage and copal. This helps clear my aura, my home, and my ritual space of negative energies. While I smudge, I often say the 51st psalm, or simply pray sincerely to have all negativity and harmful energies removed from myself, my ritual space, my home.

    I use chinese wash and a spiritual cleansing wash on my floors and altars.

    Using a RoadOpener seven day candle once a month also clears negative blocks.

    This is by no means a complete list, but can give you some easy methods of cleansing yourself and your ritual area. 🙂

    I hope this has been some help to everyone. 😉

    ~Cat

    Mountain Rose Herbs. A herbs, health and harmony c

  • A Much Needed Dose of Cookie Monster

  • Fast Luck Love Candle Spell

    Hello dearies,

    Firstly, admire the cool picture – its from a super cool reader, and definitely many thank yous for it… Its a hoodoo case! 😀

    Img_0327

    So, right now, just as you all know, I am writing this OFFLINE, since my net is freezing up from freezing rain. 😉 Since many people are FREAKING OUT (that rediculous Valentine’s Day holiday is coming up,) I can only imagine my inbox. Here is my advice… Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday. If your partner doesn’t show you every day how much you mean to them, they aren’t worth your time. If they need a stupid holiday like Valentine’s Day to tell you that you are special, then you I want you to know that you deserve better than that. Every day should be a day to celebrate the person you love, not just some hokey Hallmark holiday. I realize we all get busy, and there ARE times that we take for granted those that we love, but its no excuse to make February 14th the only day of the year to be special enough to show that love. In fact, if someone only shows you love on February 14, Xmas, your birthday, and some anniversary, you might notice that’s only showing you how much you mean about 1% of the time each year, and you should tell that person to wake up and see you are more important and worth more than that. But that didn’t make you feel better, did it? I didn’t think so. 😉

    So, try this, and I hope it works for you. 🙂

    You will need:
    Fast Luck powder
    Fast Luck Oil
    Love Me oil
    A “bride and groom” candle or a “lovers” candle in pink,
    A picture of yourself,
    A picture of your lover,
    A black pen
    A red pen
    A scrap of paper from a paper bag, all edges torn, not cut,
    A heatproof container such as a pie plate or cake tin.

    Prep:
    Before you do anything, please figure out realistically what you want your lover to do. By realistic, I mean, if you are dating this person for a short period of time, asking that they ask to marry you is probably not realistic. Something more along the lines of having them do something sweet for you like get you candies or take you out is a more happening choice. Since we are trying to do this FAST, a really outrageous or unlikely choice for your command is not apt to be granted in a short time frame, but if you are so inclined to ask for something big, I’ll leave that up to you. 😉

    Using your scrap of paper bag and your black pen, write your lover’s name out nine times like this:
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    Now turn the paper so that the names are running vertically and write your name nine times across (vertically) your lover’s name in the same fashion as above so that it forms sort of a grid or tic tac toe shape.

    Now using, your red pen, write your command in a circle around your crossed names. For example you might use “Hot date,” lol, whatever that means (wink,) and you can repeat this command over and over so that the two ends of the circle meet.

    Dab a bit of Fast luck oil on the 4 corners of the paper, and a dab a bit in the middle. Sprinkle some Fast Luck powder onto the paper.

    Take your photo and that of your lover, and place them so you are “face to face.” If you need to cut the images to do this, this is okay, as long as your “faces” remain intact. 😉 Now place these pictures into the center of your name paper, sprinkle a bit more Fast Luck powder onto the paper, and fold the paper (with the pictures inside,) TOWARDS you, fold in half one more time, again folding TOWARDS you. Set inside your heat proof container.

    Hold your bride and groom candle in your hands for a few moments, and envision yourself and your lover happy, together, doing what you want to do for valentine’s day. Try to send this image into the candle 😉 Now, using Fast Luck and Love Me oil, rub the candle with 7 strokes UP (from base to wick,) of the hand. Place this on top of your name paper inside the heat proof container. Sprinkle Fast Luck powder around the couple in a heart shape.

    The spell:
    Light both wicks of the bride and groom candle, or, if you are using a lover’s figural candle, as many of these have a singular wick, light the singular wick. Hold your hands on either side of the candle and visualize yourself and your lover again, enacting the command given on the name paper (for example, if you commanded them to give you a “Hot date,” you might envision yourselves being intimate and having some crazy sexy times…I leave this up to your pervy imagaination…hehe.) Say, “(Full name of lover,) what I ask you must give to me, not later but instantly…(make request here,) Hear me now, do as I say, do it this moment, do this today! (again, make your request.) What I ask you must give to me, and give this to me instantly! This spell shall not reverse nor place upon me any curse, as is my will, so be it!”

    Allow the candle to burn out completely. When it has done so (and it may ignite the name paper, but this is okay,) take the wax remains and that of the name paper and either bury them beneath your front doorstep or place them in the Y of a tree. 🙂

    Enjoy kids…and no crazy Valentine’s freak outs… Because if nothing else, your mom and I both think you rock! 😀 Well…its better than nothing… 😉

    ~Cat

  • Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming after this Message

    Hello Occulties,

    As per the the recent drama… The internet is a big place. If you don’t like me, there are tons of other people to stalk and get fixated upon, but if I’m your choice to be fixated on, please understand, I will just get a restraining order and make sure you are promptly jailed should you persist to bother me in any way. Contacting my friends, my readers, and my clients and googling me and reading my blog regularly even though you claim that you “hate” me is more than a little weird, don’t you think? I do. Please, seek psychiatric treatment if you are the type of person to become so fixated and obsessive that you stalk people through things like eBay feedback and email groups. It is obvious if you are prone to such behaviors that you are in deep need of medication, or perhaps even a nice “rest” in an institution dedicated to treating people with problems such as yours.

    Now, for the rest of my readers, let’s return to Hoodoo. 🙂

    Love,

    ~Cat

  • Stalkers and S***talkers Everywhere…

    I knew someone was talking crap when I got so busy all of the sudden! 😉 Hahahahahahahahahaha, that’s fantastic. You know you’re a loser when you stalk an internet blogstress. 😉 Everyone, you have to get a load of this… I’m so famous, that people actually want to ask me about things I bought over the last 3 freaking years! And they are so mad that its not things they think I should purchase or like weird things (because my ritual suppliers are pretty secretive,) that they sent me an EMAIL ABOUT IT!! And they are so inept, they could find the answer to their question IN THE ARCHIVES…and they don’t…they issued a CHALLENGE….

    My response? Well, I sent one…but really its that if you are so lame that you are stalking me all over the internet? You don’t need a psychic, you need a psychiatrist! That is too much! There’s a word for that…its called “stalker.” Sorry you were curious about things I bought so much that you had to make a secret group about it… I genuinely pray you get the help you need.

    Here’s your answer…click here.

    Dude, Jason, if you started this one, hahaha, thanks… I had to say the eff word to a few people today anyhow.

    ~Cat

    Oh, I had to edit this to add, they asked if I sell spells to feed myself!! HAHAHAHAHA, well, it IS my job, and it DOES pay the bills, hahahahahah, so yep, that is true… I sometimes I use my profit after paying for supplies for food. Thanks for asking.

  • Skull-Candle Controlling Spell

    ***WARNING TO PLAGIARISTS – Oct 17, 2008: I recently learned this spell is being featured on someone’s site. My site clearly details you are not to copy and paste any of my work anywhere without my express permission. While these plagiarists are dealing with my lawyer, I do urge you to contact me if you’ve seen this spell elsewhere. I created this spell, this is copyright me, originally made by me. I have never given anyone any permission at any point to post it anywhere, including the link to it.***

    Hey occulties…

    All yesterday I was wondering how in the eff did I wake up on the right side of the bed? I mean, its not like I’m always in some form of angriness, but I’m not usually this cheery…then it strikes me – aha, Mars is no longer retrograde (which was the reason so many people, male and female alike, were acting like they had PMS or a bad hangover for about the last month or more,) BUT do not pull out the champagne just yet (well, go ahead, and bring it out – I like champagne even without cause for celebration,) because Mercury is still retrograde. 😛 Expect communication issues, don’t sign any large contracts…wait for your cell to drop calls, and know your PC is more apt to have a break down for the next few weeks… But, don’t stress, because Mercury will turn direct again around the 18th February. 🙂

    Anyhow, its been a bit since I gave out a spell for all of you… Not that I don’t think you’d enjoy the YouTube “Titanic 2” trailer (hehe,) but I know the reason most of you are here is to learn how to do all things occultey…so let’s get to it, after my obligatory warning about this spell, eh?

    Warning: this is not a nice spell. This is not a beginner’s spell. This spell is not to be used on someone bigger and badder than you in a magical sense unless you want to put yourself at great risk. This spell contains hardcore coercive methods and may not be suitable for those fearful who have beliefs of divine-retaliation such as “karma” (the real meaning or the bastardized one,) or the “Law of Three” (a Wiccan religious belief,) and is not intended for anyone else who is trepidatious about getting what they want by use of dark spellcraft. I’ve also made the comments on this blog need to be approved before getting posted, so if you want to give me a lot of lip for posting this, you might as well email directly. This is not a spell to do because you are bored or curious. I take NO responsibility for who you might harm (including yourself,) using this spell. End Warning.

    You will need:
    A skull shaped candle in purple (preferred) or white
    Powdered licorice root
    Poppy seeds
    A large rust-free nail, around 10d size (sometimes called 10 penny nail,)
    A “junk candle” or emergency candle (this is NOT a ritual candle, but a candle you can use independently of ritual,)
    4 candles of the same color and size, often called “offertory” or “household” candles (I use this size, but do not recommend this site for anything other than buying candles) (appropriate color, see below,)
    A large metal container suchas a sheet-cake tin
    4 candle holders of the same size (I recommend brass,)
    Personal item from the target,
    Piece of brown paper bag or parchment, all edges ripped off,
    A black pen,
    Cigar
    Commanding oil,
    Commanding incense,
    A saucer,
    An ashtray,
    A purple cloth bag,
    Condition oil appropriate to the job (see below.)

    Offertory candles and condition oil:
    Purple, Do As I Say oil: for straight controlling spellwork
    Green, Pay Me: for getting monies owed or to illicit easy money
    Pink, Return to Me, and either Follow Me Boy (ladies and gay gents,) or Follow Me Girl (gents and gay ladies,): to force a lover to return.

    Prep:
    Before you even charge anything, or set up the altar, or any of that good stuff, you need to light your “junk” candle, and heat the nail. Pierce the top of the skull candle in 4 places on the top of the head with the HEATED nail – I recommend making 4 points in a “square” around the wick. Pour your poppy seeds into the 4 holes. You may seal the holes back up with a few drops of wax. Though this may not work for all personal items, you should also take your heated nail and poke a hole in the base of the candle, therein inserting your bio item, and seal with a few drops wax.

    Pull out your large sheet cake tin and ensure you have enough room to fit 4 offertory (or whatever size you chose,) candles at the 4 corners in there with your skull candle in the center. If it doesn’t fit, get another sheet cake tin – and I mean SHEET CAKE not a baking sheet or cookie sheet, peeps…no need for a mess. 😉 Also, make sure you have the saucer nearby, to the east of the sheet cake/altar set up. If all is fitting well, then prepare to anoint and charge the spell materials. 😀

    Write your target’s name on the scrap of paper bag nine times in the following fashion:
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    John Smith
    Turn the paper so the names are running vertically, and write your command over the target’s name nine times, for example:
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    Return to Jane Doe
    If you could not put your personal item into the candle, place it in the center of the paper. Spit into the center of the paper, and add a sprinkle of licorice roots and poppy seeds. Fold the paper in half TOWARDS you. Fold the paper in half TOWARDS you again. Place this in the center of the sheet cake tin.

    Light your cigar and as you anoint your skull candle with your oils (gently, because you have stuff in it that can fall out if you are rough,) speak to the candle through exhaled cigar smoke as if you are speaking to the target. I prefer a sort of gloating, hehe, but for example, “John Smith, you love Jane Doe. Johnny, you think only of returning to Jane, your every thought and every desire is for Jane. John, you listen now, I command you to return to Jane, and the more you try to resist returning to Jane the stronger your desire to return to Jane becomes.” If you are gagging on the cigar smoke here, you don’t have to inhale it, just get the smoke in your mouth to speak through it. Place the skull candle atop the name paper in the center of the sheet cake tin. You may temporarily extinguish your cigar in the ashtray.

    Scratch your command UP (base to wick) your 4 offertory candles. For example “John Smith returns to Jane Doe NOW.” Anoint each candle with your condition oils using 7 pulls UP (base to wick) on the candle. Make sure each candle is secure in its candle holder.

    Take some of your powdered licorice root (click the little Mountain Rose Herbs link at the bottom if you want to get this powdered for you,) into your right hand and with a swift motion make an X with the powder, with your skull candle at the center point of the X and your 4 candles being the “end points” of the x, and as you do so, say “(Target’s Full Name,) my wish is your command.”

    On your saucer, make an incense cone out of your commanding incense.

    The Spell:
    You will want to have your cigar lit and ready again.

    Light your incense.

    Starting in the upper left hand corner, light your offertory candles in a clockwise motion. Now light your skull candle. Bring the cigar into your mouth, and again, start speaking through the smoke:
    “(Target’s full name,) I command you to do as I say,
    Follow my orders, this moment, this day:”
    *your request here*
    “(Target’s full name,) I command you to do as I say,
    Follow my orders, this moment, this day!
    This spell shall not reverse
    Nor place upon me any curse,
    As is my will, – so be it!”

    Extinguish your cigar. Allow the incense and candles to burn out. When every thing has burnt out, take your incense ashes, cigar, your wax leavings, your herbal matter, and whatever is left of the name paper, and place this into your purple sack. Take the sack to tree with a Y in it or a natural hole in it and leave it there.

    Your target should do as you say very quickly.

    Again…this is a very NOT nice spell, so use with caution if at all. 🙂

    I am sure there will be questions, so contact me if you have them!

    ~Cat

    For images of the purple skull being fixed with poppy seeds, click here.

    All information on this site, except where noted, is copyright the originalninjacat, and cannot be copied (or copied and pasted,) posted, transmitted or shared off this site without my express permission. This means you. Failure to comply will force me to send Goetic entities and bad things to you like my lawyer. This is my original work and I don’t like copy-NinjaCats!

    What happens if you steal, copy, plagiarize or in some way infringe on my copyright? Click here to find out!

  • Over 200 Posts!

    Take a moment to celebrate! Cat’s Rants – Confessions of an Occult Mastermind, is now over 200 posts of Occult and Hoodoo goodness and badness long! 😀 WOW! When I started writing this blog in 2004, I never believed I’d have so many readers.

    You guys are the coolest. 😀 Thanks for your continued readership – I appreciate it more than you could ever know!!!

    BIG internet hugs to all in the Rant Room,

    ~Cat

  • This Is Hysterical!

    Sorry kids, had to share this…