“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.”
Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.
Thinking I might pull off TWO articles today, but do not hold me to that, ha ha. As always, it was slow because it was right before the first, and here we are and it’s the 2nd of the month, so now I’m getting busy again.
I was actually very inspired today by reading something another practitioner had brought up in reply to someone worrying about reconciling their spouse and it’s something I’ve brought up frequently in here… But yanno, I did have a case of the angries for about a year (as I explained in a previous article), so it probably got lost on a few of my more recent readers. He basically touched on lust for results, but used some terminology and explanation which I liked a bit better than my “Stop with the constant worrying and stalking,” advice, while saying more or less the same thing. And I’ll probably say it again here, ha ha.
Remember a few days ago when I told you that spellcasting is an actual skill that requires study and practice? Well, part of that also requires you let the spell work. Anxious people often do not let the spell do it’s job. They keep “picking” at the situation mentally and online. It can be really hard to resist, especially when we live in a society that has created a haven for stalking (I dare say it encourages it,) and we live in a world where too much of our lives and activities are online.
Sometimes being anxious and checking up on sometimes can be helpful to us. Maybe you check to see if a payment has posted, or why your package is delayed. I caught a huge banking error in real-time once just for being really anxious for a payment to post (unrelated transaction), so I do understand…
But spells don’t come with tracking, and they aren’t as predictable as direct deposit. Constant social media scanning, and overthinking and worrying isn’t likely to alert you to an issue in your spell’s manifestation (or about your ex who you know you need to stop social media stalking) like a text update from your credit card company might quickly stop an unknown transaction. And frankly, non magical things don’t often benefit from this sort of behavior (anxious, obsessive, overthinking, etc,)…in fact, in most cases, it’s NOT AT ALL beneficial.
So, the practitioner that inspired me today (who goes by Einkar and nothing else, to give credit where credit is due,) had said that the problem is so many people are not willing to move forward from their failing or desired relationship, they stalk, over communicate, panic, and overthink and just get in the spell’s way. That yes, it’s best to move forwards as if you are moving on.
As this is 90% love-spell clients who do this (meaning those who have lust for results), I agree, and have said as much before on this very blog. Not all lust for results arises in love-based workings – I’m in the weird 5% and I get freaked out about my money-spells for myself (notice above where I am saying I caught a banking error once because I was anxious about a payment hitting, ha ha,) so it may or may not apply (I am not apt to harass the bank but I do stalk my banking app, LOL!) to your situation.
I understand that when you’re very insecure about someone coming back or coming to be with you, it can be very difficult for you to distance yourself from certain behaviors like stalking their social media. I tell people pick the most random person on your socials. Just like that kid who sad behind you in Biology that you’ve spoken to twice in 15 years now, and even then, only in a group chat… or maybe that friend you fell out of touch with for 5-6 years now. Maybe even longer. Don’t look at their page, just, in your head, think of one follower or friend that you have that you really don’t think about much. You don’t think good or bad, – they just don’t cross your mind, despite you being fully aware of them. Now answer me honestly – how often do you look at their page or posts? Is it as much as you’re creeping on the object of your affections? Is it even 1/10th as much? How about 1/100th as much? Hell, the last time I even logged into insta recently was because someone iMessaged me a video link 2 weeks ago.
And I already know what you’re going to say. You looked at their stuff a lot when you were together/closer, right? Right?
I assure you, you did not look this much, and stop making excuses. You do not need unfriend, you do not need unfollow….you need a break from socials if you’re stalking your target through there. It will help with your anxiety, and it will also help with your behavior around the target, and most of all it will help with the spell energy.
Yeah, yeah, and I need to stop checking my bank app every 5 minutes when I’m waiting on a payment. (I remind myself that. I also remind myself to stop refreshing my intake form page too much if I’m doing money drawing, ha ha.)
But it’s a strong reason I see love spells fail (a bad case of lust for results,) and it’s something we can actually control. It’s also something that if we refuse to control it, it can become very difficult to stop ourselves and control once it gets to that point.
I’m going to give you a hypothetical situation to help here. Let’s say Ben and Bart are identical twins, and they date Sally and Sarah who are also identical twins (Ben + Sally and Bart + Sarah.) One disastrous night, Ben and Bart both get broken up with by their girlfriends and knowing some magic, both gentlemen cast the exact same spell to bring the ladies back.
Ben is the social media addict of the boys. He keeps checking instagram to see who is newly following Sally. He notices his friend Dave, who he suspects is more handsome than him has recently begun following her. He also sees she’s removed some images of that cruise he and Sally went on isn’t up anymore, but they went on that cruise 2 years ago, so he’s not sure that’s recent. Then he decides it probably is recent that she removed them…he finds himself getting more angry, and more sure his spell isn’t working.
Bart never bothered much with social media. He just goes to work, and tries to stay interested in other hobbies and past times.
A WHOLE WEEK (whiny angry noises) has passed and Sally STILL hasn’t contacted Ben. What gives? Is she with that hecking loser, Dave?! Ben calls Dave, and demands to know why he’s following Sally now. Dave gives a lame “excuse” that he started working with her at the workplace she’s had for 3 years and they knew each other from school, so it only seems natural. Well, Ben isn’t happy about it but what can he do? Dave texts Sally and tells her about Ben “acting weird.” She is creeped out.
Bart, meanwhile, is out at a game with the boys, and he won at a pool tournament on Sunday. He does think of Sarah, and misses her from time to time, but he’s sure his spell will work. He isn’t stressing.
Sarah (our target) very much misses Bart. Every day she thinks about him. He never was much of one for social media though, so she doesn’t know what he’s thinking.
Sally sure knows what Ben is thinking. He keeps posting wanna be thirst trap photos. She is so sure he’s creeping on her page. She notices he’s watching every reel. Ugh. She just wanted a little space after that huge blow up and he’s acting deranged. Can you believe he really called Dave for just following her? Yeah, and he thought it was subtle. It wasn’t. Ben tries texting “what’s up?” She blocks him. Maybe the space will help her figure out her own feelings, and maybe he’ll get the hint to give her space!
Ben is BLOCKED?! How is magic working for him? This is bullshit! He only called Dave, and maybe also Jay, and then maybe also Breckin to see what was going on…but he totally wasn’t obvious. Sure he doesn’t talk much to those guys, but like, he was completely and totally subtle….or so he believes.
They all told Sally. Ben is unhinged after all. Or at least that is the going rumor. While something in Sally’s heart had nagged at her that she shouldn’t give up on Ben, his behavior just keeps pushing her away…
Sarah texts Bart, asks to talk. About 9 days have passed since the spellwork was cast. They make up.
Meanwhile, Ben doesn’t understand. He did the same spell. He loves an identical woman, but his spell is showing no signs of working. And why? Well, judge for yourself.
When you panic, stalk, overthink, and act like this, guess what? It’s obvious to everyone. It attacks the spell at an energentic level as well, so it’s a double whammy.
Yet, I get this in my inbox a lot “Cat, why is it you cast the spell 2 days ago, and (beloved person) is not talking to me? Do you think it’s working? Do you think they think about me?”
Let’s state the obvious… If you and I dated for any length of time (let’s say even three months,) I am going to think about you for awhile afterwards. It doesn’t matter if I”m resolute in my decision to leave you. So, if you wanted reassurance, then commonsense dictates that chances are, this person thinks about you.
As for is it or isn’t it affecting them? It isn’t usually like pressing a button on a remote to get a channel we wanted. It tends to build up over a period of time which more often than not takes more than 2 days. By giving it space (and not acting like Ben above, or blowing up your beleaguered rootworker if you had someone else do the work,) you allow this influence to grow and really take hold. Is it ever instant that you get results? Sometimes it is. That is still very much an exception. If you can’t distract your attention for a few days, much less a few weeks, spellwork may not be your best option.
Yeah, I said it. When we INSIST on instant results, (and pretty much every spellcaster can relate, because we, too, have needed something RIGHT FRIKKIN NOW,) or when we start getting nervous and edgy and plaintive for not having instant results, we can really just find ourselves very aggravated and pushing those results away for our resulting behaviors.
And here’s what you need to remember – YOU CAN MAKE THE SPELL MANIFEST FASTER (in many cases) by just letting it do what is supposed to.
Some of you do the equivalent of wanting a clean floor, then walking around on the wet floor I’m washing in your muddy boots, while complaining it’s taking forever to get clean. I’d be mad at you, but many of you don’t realize what you’re doing.
Alright, there’s my lust for results lecture for now. Love spell incoming.
Long time, no see. I’ve been posting on several other platorms, and sadly ignoring the blog.
But, in my travels, I’ve come across a few things, and I”d like to speak about that quickly.
Magic is a skill. It is a LEARNED SKILL. This is why, even if I offer you a set of instructions, you might not be able to successfully do the working.
When I was a very young child, my mother took me to see a ballet performance. I could not have been much over 4, and remember seeing how effortless the dancers made it look, and being so sure that I could fly through the air so gracefully without any real training.
Anyone who personally knows me would tell you that I’m rather clumsy. That has been the case for my entire incarnation in it’s current form. So, I learned quickly as a child that I could not effortlessly be a graceful ballet dancer, nor did some years of classes really help much either, though it did give me an appreciation that ballet was quite an athletic feat. You could learn all about it and never be all that good at it.
I could easily have done even worse than this.
What I did excel at naturally was art. I even went to school for it and became even better. And what that taught me was that frequent practice can make most people much better, but again, it is an innate skill. You can become…”competent.” I had a few professors who’s art was certainly hitting the right levels of balance and color, but who still created what I might best rate as rather dull and not really worthy of being art. It was a good rendering…but they fell short of the goal of the artist which is to capture some part of your attention and emotion, I guess….so this showed me even more strongly that if we become “skilled,” it does not guarantee that we become expert or adept at the skill.
Magic is a skill. Someone posting a meme that tells you to light a white candle on a spot of blood from your thumb is in no way helping you become an expert, and may be discouraging you if it is over simplified and lacks the instructions.
And yet “where do I get a spell for x” is a question I constantly see, where the person has next to zero practice at spell casting, and they want to have thorough instructions and be able to find all the ingredients in their spice cabinet. You know that is great for developing your skills, and I like that part of it, but if you’re lazy and just want to “sort of” make an effort, what I have learned through years of practice is that this is exactly what you’ll get back for results. Low effort blah results. So, try to take on something that challenges you a bit, try to get real ingredients…or perhaps leave a skilled-task to those with skill (as in hire an expert) if you’re just gonna half-ass it.
It’s perfectly fine to half-ass things sometimes. I do. I certainly know how to fix a bad step in my home, but I”ll hire someone. I could get online and figure out how to swap out that light fixture, but I’d prefer to hire someone. I do most of my own gardening (because I so enjoy it, actually), but I”ll hire someone to do the spring clean up. Why? I’m not an expert in any of these things, and I’m sure someone could do it much better than me. Just because the instructions exist it doesn’t mean I can do it well. Just because I enjoy doing it (gardening) doesn’t make me a pro at it. Sometimes, I want to learn to do it myself and do it well, other times I just want to leave it to someone else.
So it’s OK if that’s how you feel about spells.
Maybe you want to learn to be an expert. Maybe you try your hand at it and you realize it’s not for you. Maybe you’re somewhere in between. BUT, just don’t get broken-hearted that a meme or a short reel on getting your ex back did not immediately bring results! Magic works when you put in the work…and it’s a lot of practice and study to get really good at it. Asking for another easy looking spell and then getting frustrated when you get half-assed results means you either don’t have the dedication to become an expert, or….you’re wrongly thinking you can half ass it and still get expert results (nope, like any other skill, it doesn’t work that way.)
Nextly, with Tim Curry and Dolly Parton passing away in the last week, I do get how miserable and downbeat many of us are. Ever since Saturn went retrograde, it just feels like one thing after another. I am sorry if you’re going through more personal turmoil. Many friends and loved ones have also experienced loss in their families and traumatic life changes. I am offering a free group roadopening service for September 25, 2026. Please contact me here, and I will add you in. The aim is to clear blockages to create prosperity and blessings. It is just a tea light service, but it’s free. I think we all could use some happiness in our lives right now.
Alright spell article coming up soon – cuz like I said, I want everyone to want to learn! BUT, I also needed to remind everyone that magic is a skill, and you’re not going to be an overnight expert.
~Cat
It’s the end of summer in beautiful coastal Maine! Not my house…. I could only afford to buy a home about 6 miles from the seashore. Still, the magic happens inland, too, mwhahaha Photo by Leah Newhouse.
I’ll try to update this on my website, too, but a few things need to get said regarding the business site because with a big rush in business comes an increase in problem behaviors – and from people who genuinely couldn’t know how or why this is problematic. Easier just to explain. ☺️
Please keep the following in mind:
I work for a lot of people. From most client’s perspective, I’m sure many of my clients understand that they are not my only client. However, you as a client, could not understand how many people want my attention right now this very second, or that my seeming ability to be present quickly on a Monday night doesn’t mean I am available with such speed at your leisure at all times of day.
When it’s a bit slow at my job, it would seem like I effortlessly reply at many hours of the day (I sometimes wonder if people think the posted business hours are a humorous suggestion,) or can make space for your reading very quickly. This isn’t because I have nearly as much availability as you may think (I work easily 30 hours just replying during my slow weeks,) but I do have more flexibility when not inundated.
When, all of the sudden, 10 people want to play the checking up on me game, 7 want me to rush on a 3 page reply, 4 are having panic attacks and over thinking, 6 want me to console and encourage them for varying reasons, 4 want me to explain broad concepts relating to magic (often a form of checking up on me, haha, but ok,) and 3 are having their work starting to rapidly manifest while another 5 people want to schedule readings…and I’ve not even begun to discuss my 12 applications for new spellwork business…
This is when I need to gently remind everyone that there is only one of me. I cannot be present in 5 places at once. I have a life outside of work (barely, but I do need to do things like mow the lawn and occasionally go to the store, or even cook dinner,) and I have many obligations to handle.
So first the “freebie people” suffer. While I’m quite happy to help find spells and items during a slow time, or to explain a concept that someone casting their own spells is having a difficulty with at no cost, now I can’t make that time very quickly as the people paying me for my time must get priority (because they paid me.) This means the first people I piss off (and not at all intentionally,) are folks who just wanted a few pointers or to be given a half hour of my direction. Now I will reply, but I need free time to reply in, and that is at a premium so it may be a minute.
The next people who begin to notice my absence are people on various platforms who enjoy my content. I’ve not been quiet about my distaste for WordPress and this blog has suffered for it, but we are looking into a move on to substack. I detest instagram (sorry, lol ) and I’m on some varied sites giving instruction without advertising the business. These folks will find I’m suddenly not around. This again goes back to the same reason as above with my freebie people – I can’t offer my time if it’s been taken by someone willing to pay for it. I get no compensation and must attend to business I’m paid for.
Now comes people inadvertently breaking my business rules, often because they have before and I said nothing. This one is my fault in some ways. For many years, I was very strict about my own rules. Unfortunately as people have become less literate (sadly more and more common due to the internet…and I don’t mean you can’t read but that you often ignore the written word), it’s like its own separate hours long job to educate each new person on the rules and the offenses are often trivial and just annoying (which is why the rules in those cases were created to begin with, – so things run smoothly,) that correcting a person who is often already emotionally-traumatized and fragile is more harmful and time-consuming than just letting them get away with breaking a rule.
So suddenly 12 people are texting me about non-emergencies, and 8 people are sending me a “how did it go?” (I assure you this is hilariously one of the most detested lines said to any pro-spellcaster as it implies we must instantly have zero to do but write up a non-emergency-situation review seconds after we finish your work which isn’t how writing any essay-question length report actually works – we aren’t trying to gate keep but that report can take a day or two if you need one,) when I haven’t even finished casting this morning’s spellwork, 3 people are sad and want encouragement right now, and I’ve not even finished the paying part of my job (not close) but have been saddled with situations that should I delay in reply, I risk people breaking the posting and sharing clause (serious offense) because I didn’t prioritize something that is clearly stated as not actually part of the job I’m paid for (I go over that at length.)
That I’m glad to handle much of this is all well and good. But these folks get testy because the reality is…
I must always attend to the paid and paying parts of my job first and that means if you’re pushing for unpaid services unintentionally or intentionally, if you’re making demands of me which are clearly stated as not part of my contract of employment, if you’re breaking rules to get my attention now because you’re bored or anxious or lonely (but there’s no emergency,) that while that may work during the slower seasons, now you feel ignored.
I am not ignoring you. And what’s even worse, some people will even waste my time (and yours) by getting a full consultation and then ghosting. So at least 5 hours of my time will be lost weekly to time-wasting ghosts. 👻 And I could be using that to deal with my anxious people, or my people who want updates this very second.
It’s just as a business – and one which has had the same prices for like ten years now (while nothing else in the economy has stayed the same price and my costs of living have tripled just like yours have,) I need to deal with paying (new business applications) and paid (casting spells, conducting readings,) and then necessary (help during manifestation phase, instructions on how to behave during this time, emergencies.) Paying clients with extra requests and non emergencies, and those seeking reassurances and updates come after that. If it’s not paid or paying that’s last.
When you have 71 active cases, that’s a lot of people.
I do not write this from a place of anger. I want us all to understand each other. It’s hard for anyone who deals with folks who are anxious and need attention on a complex situation. I tend to get along well with lawyers and therapists because we relate to each other – we are many people’s one connection to the help that they need, but there is only one of us and many of them.
So please, with my sincere apologies for if it’s upsetting to you, understand that what may feel like a delay to you is me working as fast as possible for many people. It’s easiest when it’s streamlined but we have a lot of new clients on the roster and they can’t be expected to know how things work, which slows the process down. That’s ok. The summer rush can be annoying on the client end and very exhausting on my end (I often work close to 80 hours) but it evens out in a few weeks.
All I ask is you remember that there is one of me, many of you, and everyone wants something right now. I promise I’m getting back to you as fast as possible.
I wasn’t really comfortable posting this, but friends and my partner suggested it, as I guess these 2 really obsessed people formed some anti-fan club about me 4-5 years ago, and it’s been added to. Alright, I’m an open book.
Q: WHY DO YOU MOVE ALL THE TIME!? A: I actually DO NOT move all of the time, but, to be fair, I felt the same way when, for a relatively brief period, that was going on several years ago. So, when I moved to Maine more than a decade ago, I lived in the same apartment for a long time. Like 5-6 years. I really loved my old place, but the landlord was making a third of what he gets now for that unit from me, and he had that problem with several residents. Basically, we were cutting into his profits. He’s been in the local news several times for this (literally, on the evening news and front page of the Portland Press Herald as this was a huge scandal for all the people he removed), but he got rid of so many people who had been there over five years (it was at least a quarter if not a third of people living in a building with 100 units), and I just so happened to be one of them. He didn’t renew my lease. I then moved into a place which the owner had bought the building 1 month or so before I moved in, and he wanted to do 6 month terms for his new residents, as he wasn’t sure if he wanted to resell the building, or keep it, or even remodel. So that was December 2021 I moved in, or so as I recall. Much to every apartment’s dismay (there were 6 in that building,) he decided to AirBnB the whole joint. As other residents left, the building became increasingly full of weekend drunks and hallway vomit. I ended up paying double rent for 2 months to stay a little longer, but then decided to leave. That wasn’t my best idea. I paid tourist prices for a hotel in the summer! It cost me $35k total, and was so bad, one of my friends even made me a GoFundMe in mid or late summer 2022, because I was hemorrhaging money. I mean, I can’t complain with the hotel – they were great, and actually I was given a huge room, and everyone was so kind, but paying storage and like $2000 or more (depending on rates) a week was pretty rough.
See, Portland, at the time (and perhaps now,) had a really bad housing shortage. Not only that, but rents were and are impossible in the summer, and year leases made in the summer wanted me to lock them in at that rate for a year. That was too much (upwards of $4k in many cases) plus I had and have pet birds which are very hard to move with. So that was summer to early ish fall 2022, and then I finally locked in a place at around $3k a month. I did something I regret, – I felt it was overpriced and declined a 12 month lease. I signed a second SIX MONTH LEASE (UGH!) We were very well-liked at that building and soon realized it was actually a pretty good deal for the rapidly inflating rents of Portland. We did manage to get an extra month out of the landlord after the lease end (we paid ofc,) but sadly, that landlord realized making $2750 a week is a lot better than making $2750 a month with us, and he AirBNB’d that place (this is where my hatred of AirBNB comes from, – can you tell why? Probably). I’d already lost $35k living in hotels one summer the summer before, so we moved in with a friend with a spare room for the following summer (2023). That was fun but a very crowded house, plus one of her children moved back in with her in the fall so it was time to move “home” to Portland.
I found what I thought was the place of our dreams in Portland. I got that half right. It was the place of our nightmares. We spent over $10k to move to a place that was a straight scam. $10k gone! After that, I lost $15-$20k on short term housing over the next 1.5-2 months or so, found something that I could afford seasonally (but was still a huge cost,) which was not available for the summer, and finally got my home in Casco in 2024. I lived at Casco for about two years. I never meant to stay permanently. I started looking to buy a home about six months ago. Moved into the home I am in the process of buying right now about 3-3.5 months ago. So I did not move for 2 years, but I hated living in Casco (it wasn’t my kind of place,) and I love my home now.
So there was a time I moved too much? It was everything to do with the Portland housing market. That’s why when I moved away from Portland, I no longer had the issue. Today, I live very close to Portland and right on the seacoast but in my own home with a yard and all. I lived at my prior address about 2 years. I’m not really clear why prospective clients or anyone wants to discuss this. I mean, Uhaul did lose everything I owned in 2023…that was hugely traumatic…but there is this bizarre notion I had some problems I didn’t have causing me to move. I spent $100k easily on housing alone over the 1.5ish years we moved. It was because of six month leases, seasonal leases, AirBNB, and a housing scam, and I have the receipts to prove it.
Q: Oh, so you didn’t move because no one would house you? A: Hardly. I had plenty of housing. I moved because I was scammed in one case, and in the others, they were short term leases. I still have the leases to prove it. I’m a quiet respectful tenant and don’t even like houseguests.
Q: And you didn’t move because you were POOR!? A: At one point, I certainly was pretty feckn skint because I paid 3 months rent each time to live under TWO 6 month leases (so basically 9 months of rent total if we don’t count the extra months I also paid for), paid to live in a hotel for insane prices, paid a friend to rent a room (that actually was affordable) lost all my valuables in a moving truck mishap, lost $10k to a housing scam, and then paid exorbitant prices for emergency housing. Like, yeah, it sucked. I know people who economically make well more than I do who could not have afforded what I did. So technically, I was doing better than you think paycheck wise, but not so much because my housing costs were something which should be it’s own article in TheAtlantic it was so excessive.
Q: I heard you were on DRUGS! A: *clutches pearls* So, that’s actually a fun story. Back in Spring 2021, I ate a crown. Like the ones they put on teeth. I was eating Junior Mints. Something felt weird. And that crown I’d had for 25ish years was in my belly. I’m sure it came out the back end but I never saw it again. And it was an eye tooth. A trip to the dentist confirmed I’d need a bridge and not just a new crown which was, at the time, a few grand. I put it off. So, I was missing an eye tooth for awhile. This caught the attention of my stalker of four years apparently back in 22 (she used to live in Portand and have a crush on my guy – there’s a whole article on it), and she calls me “methed up.” For a long time I thought it was a weird joke, only to realize it was my eyetooth wasn’t there in 2022, haha. She was never a client but has stalked me for four years, and posts bizarre rants on me. She hasn’t even seen me since probably late 2022, so she couldn’t tell you if I got that bridge or not, but considering her medical and legal record, she shouldn’t be accusing anyone of being on drugs. She’s got quite the drug record herself. Confirmed! She’s had her kid taken from her by court orders due to her drug use before. I could post it. I do not have any legal or medical record of drug use or criminal activity. I definitely had a hippie phase in the mid aught’s, but at this point even weed makes me paranoid – I don’t even smoke weed, kids. I like a vodka on Fridays, for sure, but like one. Sorry to disappoint you if you’d hoped it was more than me eating a crown I’d had since like high school (I broke it in half on a pen while doing a geometry test as I recall, and probably before many reading this were born.)
Q: There’s a time where I read your stuff and you’re so angry for like a year or more, though! WHY IS THAT? A: I was angry. VERY ANGRY, in fact, and with good reason. I was being stalked and bullied online by two fruitcakes who live with their parents who were making up terrible and untrue things about me, working 2 jobs with little to show for it because I was paying tons for housing (hemorrhaging money is too polite), my favorite bird died, Uhaul lost everything I owned (literal court case on this), and 3 people in my family were undergoing severe health crisises while I was constantly trying to find a 12+ month lease that wasn’t $3500 or more a month, for heaven’s sake. I’m sorry it came through. If you ever worked 2 jobs and worked yourself to exhaustion while being constantly slandered and bullied for years by 2 chicks with personality disorders who live in mommy’s basement, and while getting like $3500-5k rent bills and such, but needed to repurchase almost every thing ever (dishes, clothes, electronics) and were a beam of f*cking sunshine, do let me know,. I’d like to learn from your example. To be fair, the stalkers were living with their moms (not the same woman) in 2024. They may have had their moms purchase them apartments of their own for them since.
Q: I heard you’re married to a convicted murder/serial killer/alien/werewolf/SATAN HIMSELF!? A: I’ve never dated (at least to my knowledge,) much less married anyone under any of those descriptions. Ever. I am definitely not romantically involved with a convicted murderer or serial killer. I have not dated or married any cryptids, supernatural creatures, or extraterrerstial beings. Satan hasn’t taken me on a date, or even suggested we go out. *shoots a glare at Satan*
Q: Oh, well, I heard your relationship was a HOBOSEXUAL relationship!? A: I am not sure what my romantic life has to do with my job, but even this is false.
I’ve never even had a short-term hobosexual relationship. Never in my life.
I know the source though. You heard it from the girl who stalked me, tried to steal my dude, failed, and claimed my missing eye tooth (that dental crown I ate with junior mints in 2021 as it was a 25 year old crown – dental receipts to prove it!) meant I was a drug lord, and who is the same stalker who posts weird shit not about my job online…under business reviews.
Okay, well, no, I have never ever in my life been in a hobosexual relationship. Again, the source there, who I have the misfortune of meeting several years ago was at one point trying to tell people that my spouse only loved my money or my home, and blabbing this to anyone who would listen from the first moment she met him (nope, he loves me a lot which is why we’ve been together for many years now)…of course, she and my spouse don’t speak now (they haven’t spoken in several years), and I speak to him daily, so I’d say she probably is confused on that.
I am sorry if you think I temporarily housed someone who flirted with me or feigned attraction just so I’d house them. That has not been my experience, and any person who has lived with me who isn’t my blood relation but is a man, has lived with me at least 3 years and as much as ten years, depending on the man. I don’t invite guys I date for a few days to live with me. I have been married 3 times (divorced 2 times) and one boyfriend in college I cohabitated with. So…all of those would be far too long to be a “hobosexual” relationship. Only those 4 men have lived with me. I am 48.5 years old at this writing, so that’s not a lot of romantic partners to have lived with. Sorry, I’m not that kind of girl. I’m also not the kind of girl who tries to seduce engaged and married men like the person accusing me of being in a “hobosexual relationship,” so I’m even more noble than your source. 😒
Q: FINE! I read you talk about YOURSELF during READINGS!? A: Amusingly enough, that has happened, but mostly when my stalkers were posting a lot about me online, and people had questions about what they were saying.
So, if you ask me about myself, I do answer. That’s actually you being in the wrong for you to ask me a question about myself, then being offended when I comply with answering your question, and blasting me online to strangers for my crime of answering your questions.
I do also occasionally come up, – unsurprisingly, – if I have another appointment, or have to do something like pay the lawncare people at 3 and you’re running over time on your 2:30 half hour, I’m going to tell you I have to pay the lawncare people when they come. I’m going to say I have another appointment. If something will be disruptive, like when I lived in Casco, I might tell you that my neighbor’s dogs might bark and that they are noisy dogs. It’s not meant to upset you. The opposite, really. Also, I may have to shush a bird, and I’ve found that 2-3 minutes of small talk before I begin actually loosens up the client before I start the reading and makes it easier to read them.
Your reading is about you, but if I ask the weather where you are and say it’s windy at my house? I’m trying to get you to not be so nervous so I can read you easier. I’m so sorry that my mentioning the weather was upsetting to you. Or that we both like a tv show, or something. I don’t charge for the few minutes of small talk. It actually helps most people relax, which clearly anyone feeling upset about a minute or two of small talk probably needs to relax, but by all means, just tell me hurry up with the dang cards, lol. You won’t be the first or last abrupt-interrogator type I’ve read for.
Q: BUT then I heard you REFUSE to show images of your work! Right? A: False. I’ve shared several – sometimes I get super excited and overshare with 20 lol. It just isn’t my standard practice. Anyone who’s worked with me for years can confirm, I literally will mean to take a snap, and then I don’t. It’s like a seven day working and I remember on day five, lol. But I have oodles of images. It’s not my standard, which I go over at length on my website. It’s also not a huge anomaly. Anyone telling you otherwise is just making up stories. Is it guaranteed? No. Is it impossible? Also no.
Fun story, – my peers are jealous, because so many of their over-eager clients blow them up an hour after casting. They aren’t ready with a standard report or images for a day or two after because it’s extra work on top of the spell. Me? I get excited before I start sometimes and blow you up. I love my job. Images may or may not come. Been doing this for almost a quarter of a century. I still get excited. BUT most of my business (I’ve had clients that come back to me for 20+ years now,) doesn’t care because I do the freaking work, and they’ve tried others who send recycled images which unsurprisingly don’t prove anything. Like I say ON MY WEBSITE, if you wanted those pictures guaranteed, there’s a lot of people who resend old photos or show you fake ones they make….and even some who send real ones. I may or may not send you images – so much of it has to do with how many active clients I have since I work 12 hours a day on a normal day. I actually make it so I have time to work with my clients one on one instead of making spooky ass looking photos. I have a peer who spends a fecking hour on lighting and do his images ever look cool. He really does the work but I don’t even know why he would give himself 30 extra hours of work being a photographer every week. Like they are nice snaps, but damn, the kid is a damn artist and yet giving himself hours of extra work doing that. If you want a spooky pretty photo (and they are awesome,) and someone who does the work but doesn’t talk to you for free throughout the process (as I recall,) like I do (I talk to my clients a lot) I will gladly refer you to him. Every worker works differently. He might be a better fit for you.
Q: Do you ABANDON people? A: I’m not even sure what that means. I do my job. I have been forced by certain people’s bad and rude behavior to ask people to stop acting out. I will explain why their behavior is damaging to themselves, our business relationship, or the spell, but I am really patient about that. When it goes too far over and over, and they won’t stop, I’ve fired people, but it takes a lot, and usually by then, they’ve been told to stop being bad several times and it isn’t like they weren’t warned several times before they get fired. I fire maybe one person a year. If that. A banner year was 3, and 2 of that 3 (this is back in the tens,) owed me money at the time. One even thanked me for my spell working, still owing me $150. I never got the $150, lol. 🙄🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I resent the accusation that I abandon anyone. If you know me, I’ve even been known to get on the phone with my seriously depressed people here and there free of charge because I’m concerned about them. I’ve gotten up at three in the morning to text people who are freaking out. I think it’s really bizarre that I’d be accused of abandoning anyone. Since y’all like talking about my personal life so much, all three of my husbands have complained that I’m ignoring them to deal with work, and complain about that on multiple occasions. If you feel like I dropped off the planet, please speak up. I may not have seen a text or email. The last thing I want is for someone to feel ignored.
Q. WHY do you have GoFundMe’s all the time, then? A: I….don’t. When I almost died in a housefire in the tens I did have one. So, part of my home burned down, and I almost died. It seemed fitting to take a week off at that time, seeing as you know, many of my belongings were destroyed and my pets and self were really traumatized? Am I a bad person for taking a week off of work after my house burned? Almost dying? Guess so. Luckily my friends did not think so, and I got about a week’s wages to recover. Most of the people donating were college friends, some were clients.
When I moved from my old place that I’d lived for 5-6 years, that landlord had made me live with bedbugs for a full year (not just not renewed my lease – there’s a reason that guy got in the papers and on the news because he did stuff like that to several people in that building at the same time,) there was a small one to get new furniture for when I moved. I basically lost all my cloth furniture because bedbugs. So that would be….2021?
The third one I did not set up. I spent over $2k a week for enough weeks (I spent around 35k total,) living in a hotel at Maine summer prices. At the time, some of my clients went and checked summer rates thinking I was exaggerating, and were shocked. It’s easily $300 a night at the cheapest places. I appreciated the thought that someone set that up while also really kind of wishing they did not (it didn’t benefit me all that much, and I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff about it in the 4 years since) and it’s unsurprising that my stalker knew about that one. She was still actively trying to get with my partner when that was up, and I think she liked that I’d relocated to that area of Portland where the hotel was, since before that I was 3 blocks away, and she’d always take off running when she’d see me walking down the street when I lived closer. She wasn’t a small girl size-wise and we both have scoliosis, so I can’t imagine it was easy on her to run so fast (she was impressively quick for her girth and handicaps, and I was only about 2 dress sizes smaller than her back then, so not at my peak fitness either, and couldn’t run THAT fast,) and ran from someone not actively threatening her, no less.
If there are any other GoFundMe’s out there, I’ve never benefited from them, and someone else is making up stories. So I made 2 which were several years apart. I’m sorry you’re offended that I was in a fire more than ten years ago (it was an accidental fire,) and that people donated to me having a mattress not infested with bugs several years later. I mean, when I moved in here to my forever home I bought 2 new mattresses totally with my own money and shit. I bought this couch I’m sitting on when I lived in Casco. Do you want to have my banking receipts for every purchase just so you know it was not donated after Uhaul lost all my belongngs in 2023? I’m so freaking confused by how me being put through bad situations through no wrongdoing of my own makes me suspect? Can you help me out here – NOT FINANCIALLY – but with an explanation as to how this is a damaging thing?
Because humans actually all have problems. All of us. Even spellcasters. I know a lot of professional spellcasters. I’ve stood by them and listened to them cry when their marriages ended, homes burned down (that’s 2 other spellcasters I know who that happened to,) parents passed away, kids left them with an empty nest and they’re lonely….all sorts of things. And the reality is that even though maintenance through spellwork may prevent some things, it doesn’t mean you’re immune. In the FANTASY WORLD of some people, doctors also don’t get sick and die, lawyers never have legal issues, plumbers never have plumbing issues, and electricians never have electric issues, right? The next time I see a doctor died in the obituaries, I’ll go to his funeral and tell everyone he’s a quack because doctors – if they are real – never get sick. (I would never do that.) You realize how stupid that sounds, right? Do you know at least 2/3 of people in the field of psychology took their job because they needed psychiatric help at some point?
Q: Why are you MEAN about people talking about you? A: I can only reasonably assume unless you’re Amy or Emmy (stalkers) that I don’t talk about you online and that I don’t post blatant lies and false things about your personal life even if you are Amy or Emmy. Imagine if everyone I worked for, I just started telling everyone about things that were and were not true, and then left them on a public page. And I mean, let’s pretend it’s just about business. I could live with that. It goes against contract, but you know, it’s not just business. So if you wanted to post business specific things, that’s one thing.
Want a taste of what it reads like? let’s say I posted lengthy rants about you as a client. Gave your full name, the names of people in your family, addresses, phone numbers, etc, photos, your socials, and then went on with “This lady would hit me up from 5am all day to 12am, constantly complaining about things which were not even my job to deal with – she hates her kids (name the kids by full name), she hates her husband (his full name, images), she hates the shirt the guy on the news is wearing. It’s no wonder she is getting a divorce and her husband is banging his boss, because she hates everyone and everything. I’d rather die than be married to her! Thank goodness that my job here is to get her a promotion because I sure as heck wouldn’t want to try to save her love life or repair the relationship she has destroyed with her kids since she constantly degrades them and puts them down! I cringe when she contacts me, which is all day, every day, several times a day! She works at (business name) but definitely don’t hire her for anything! Wow, she’s awful!” or maybe something like “If this guy wasn’t such a crybaby simp for this girl who is, frankly speaking, middling in looks at best and has a personality like a dying rabid raccoon on the side of the road on a good day, he might actually find someone who’s in his league lookswise, but he’s way too into relatively ugly personality disordered types that drain his bank account, and I get to hear about it 8 hours a day. He is slow to pay me, never listens to any of my instructions, and then complains when not following instructions blows up in his face. I am making $2 an hour at this point to watch this guy never listen to me and destroy his life for the worst woman alive.” And if you think that’s about you, I made both clients up, but that is actually a pretty accurate view of working for a bad client. I just can’t imagine posting it and having my pals join in to say more trashy things about the people I’d be trashing. And that’s much nicer than some of the things people post in their hate clubs and threads all about me.
NONE of my romantic partners and NONE of my family members have ever been part of my business and have ZERO to do with my job so why would you discuss my family or romantic life? My housing only means anything because I need a roof to do spells. I’ve always had one (a roof over my head) and for a great cost in a few situations. That actually says I’m very successful that I managed to keep one over my head at enormous costs most couldn’t manage. I went over missing the eye tooth, but I have yet to have anyone I actually worked for complain they thought I was on drugs to me (but please tell me if you felt like that, as I pride myself on being pretty feckin sober, and I’d be concerned), though I have answered the phone after a vodka before, but it was close to 12 midnight and my client was plastered themselves and weeping. I was very concerned. I was actually the more sober one. I don’t drink during business hours. Like I completely own that I will have the occasional drink – after 8pm when I’ve put my birds to bed, and business hours have been over for 2 hours. I occasionally have a cigarette, too. No drugs, though. And again, my friends and family and loved ones aren’t involved in my job. I do know almost everyone – but I work for a lot of people. I know famous people, I know people who do some shady jobs, and both are clients and not your business. But sure, do I know some shady people? Hell yeah. I also have worked for cops, judges, lawyers and even people in the NSA, and an IRS agent (at least one.) so….that’s like I know a lot of kinds of people. It’s the job I do.
Accurate representation of online hate groups
Plus, making fun of my face? I have a wonky eye from almost dying of orbital cellulitis in 2018 or 2019. I can show you an image of me in the hospital. It’s from a tiny cut next to my eye. So thanks, I almost died. It is noticeable very occasionally but not over the phone or in email which is the only way you and I are going to communicate. Or is it making fun of my weight? I currently wear a US 5/6. At my biggest, I wore a 9/10. I lost a bit of weight since 2024. But all my clothes tags ranged from 8-10 in 2024. What does an eyebrow I can now make it look like I’m cocking my eyebrow in a wild way, and the size of my butt have to do with spells, though?
See that tiny cut? That gave me orbital cellulitis. I’ve been in the hospital 2 days in this image. I was about to be released after almost dying.Me doing the super cocked eyebrow my “wonky eye” gave me the gift for.
So why do I get mad people say things online? If it’s about my business only, I am annoyed because there’s a contract and I go over why there on that contract. So it’s a rule violation. Even positive stuff! If it’s about anything else, it’s because it’s often a lie and it’s completely wrong to discuss in some forum. It’s gross and it’s where this whole dang post came from. Sweet cheeses, anyone who participates in that sort of creepiness is just….sick.
Q: Well, now I’m upset you read things I said! You’ll hate me because I said you sounded mean and crazy and bad, right? A: I won’t have a higher opinion of you for joining in if you never spoke to me, certainly. I don’t have a high opinion of someone who has a problem with me and chooses not to directly speak to me first, but then blasts it all over. If you contact me, I’m not a bot. It’s just me sitting here. I’ll handle anything you want to me to handle regarding our business, within reason. I am also an open book. Go ahead and ask me what is concerning you.
Q: Okay, how did you get these weird stalkers? A: I went over Amy here. Emmy Lim (pomegranate) contacted me for an issue which some guy went on one date with her like 2 years previous or something, had only ever kissed her, and she wanted me to bring him back. I didn’t really want to do it, but she pressed me repeatedly to do it and said just try, even when told I didn’t think it would work, she said fine, but just try. Then, once I cast the initial spell, she kept pressuring me for free work, telling me if I did not give her free work she would smear my name online, which she did when I fired her. She never tells the same story twice as to why I failed her. Or at least for 2 years she did not, – I haven’t kept up since then.
If you ever need proof that stalking people like this someone causes real harm, even the NY Post reported about it. Sick and sad.
Q: What about the Cat Yronwode thing? A: That is something I went over here and here (use a the new links to navigate as the old typepad ones are defunct) on my blog. It’s ancient and happened when Cat Y turned 60. It’s almost 20 years ago now, and was incredibly embarrassing for her because of how ridiculously stupid the accusations were (and easily proven false.) I think she wants that one to go away, as it really did not do her any favors. She used to bully a few people online, and it was my turn that year, I guess. Kind of ridiculous, really. But it’s long ago. So what stupid internet fights did some well-known bully like Cat Y pick with you almost 20 years ago? What about that? Wanna share? Still feel relevant or worth revisiting? In my case, I am well past it the Cat Y thing. She was awful to me back then, but the reddit stalkers make her look like Cat Y merely called me a bitch once in comparison to their shenanigans, lol.
Q: Why don’t you just start over with a new site name? Like these people trashed you and said stuff, and wouldn’t that be easier? A: It’s hurtful and inhuman and wrong what they did, but I don’t have to sneak around because 2 very obsessive children and some mentally ill sheeple said stuff. When bullies start up, they gather these toadies who want to fit in and they all make a little group and do and say awful stuff because of who they are offline. All of these people are powerless offline. This gives them a sense of power. It’s gross and sad and pathetic, but they are always easily identified by the behavior. I get annoyed explaining the housing (it’s not really your business,) or my dental procedures (again not your business,) but, I don’t hide from who I am in my offline life. I don’t change my identity when things don’t go my way offline. Why change identities online?
Q: How do I know you’re being honest? A: For 19 years of business I had 2 or 3 posted complaints total. Then Amy came into my life, Pomegranate/Emmy shortly thereafter. Kind of weird how that blew up when two people who literally vowed to me to make my life a living hell forever show up and suddenly get to trashing me all over. I had a pretty spotless record prior to that. Weird, huh? Yeah, do the math. In fact, it’s easy to tell it is the same two people if you check syntax and weird shit they talk about that.
Q: Okay, but I had concerns about… A: Let me cut you off there. How about, if you’re an adult, you grow up and instead of conspiring with a lot of people who are clearly unwell and obsessed with tearing me down, you ask me directly? I won’t be mad. I’ve heard most everything at this job. You have to work to shock me.
I’ve actually had people come to me telling me the crazy BS posted about not just me but also others made them realize they couldn’t trust those places because the people in the threads were so unhinged. Apparently a mean-girls format isn’t something most healthy people enjoy, and several folks were very unsettled. If it worked for “Dirty John” – a man who ultimately tried to murder someone after doing what these people have done to me (it actually did not work out well for him, ultimately,) why would they not follow in his footsteps acting like deranged stalkers for years. He literally destroyed people for fun because he was deeply mentally ill and they rejected him.
And be clear…no mentally healthy person would be posting about anything like they do for four years. Like four years ago, my spouse and I went to a restaurant and the service was poor. I don’t write reviews on it daily. I didn’t review it then. That actually did happen.. Seated us then took 40 minutes to get us a waiter. I don’t know I’d go to the restaurant again, despite it being a highly regarded one, but I don’t feel the need to doxx the chef, or tear apart our waiter, or tell you what a POS the owner must be then or now 2 years later, much less 4 years later.
My second husband was/is a bad bad person, and I feel no need to discuss him at length, even though those who knew him would tell you he was worse than even I would say. Six years later, I feel no desire to flame him or doxx him (and I’d have plenty of verifiable stuff on him,) or post his name and image and tell you to destroy him. I moved on. Guess that’s because I’m not insane. Only an insane person would do that. Only deeply mentally ill people stalk and doxx people for years, and get a little group to join in.
So this has been my compromise for all of you. If you want to use it to make jokes at my stinky eye, or do whatever weird stalkery bullshit you do, it isn’t anything new, and I really hope for you that you get the help that you so clearly need if you do that sort of thing, or engage online with people doing it. If it was instead eye-opening as to “why is Cat angry for almost a year?” and “”Where did this extremely bizarre out of place rant about an ancient GoFundMe come from?” (I don’t get that one, either, lol) then I’m glad to have helped.
Recently I’ve been working with a popular folk saint, Jesus Malverde. You may know him from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, but the reality is, he’s not just a “narco saint,” and is quite helpful for those suffering from unfair persecution from the law as well as a champion of the poor and needy.
While there is speculation the real Jesus Malverde is a conglomeration of a few different Sinaloan banditos during the time he was alleged to be alive, there are plenty of people who swear by his intercession in helping them, and so regardless that he is not recognized by the Church, or the arguments made for his historicity, he remains a popular person for those who are poor and on the fringes of society to invoke.
The story I have been told was that he was a bandito by necessity, only stealing from the rich, and always giving back to the poor – often throwing gold coins into the doorways in rundown neighborhoods. Eventually, he killed a sheriff during one of these robberies, and for this offense, was tracked down and killed. The people brought out his body and buried it on a mountainside, throwing rocks over it to build a cairn. Claims that miracles happened to to those who prayed and left offerings at his grave occurred almost immediately. When the Mexican government placed a PARKING LOT over his reputed gravesite, there was an uproar, and yet people continued to pay homage to him (I am led to believe there is a shrine in the parking lot,) as he is revered to this day in Sinaloa, and especially in his reputed home town.
Robin Hood
If this reminds you of anyone like the above representation, you are not alone. Some people refer to him as the Mexican Robin Hood.
I have promised 10% of all my earnings in May to go to charity in honor of St Jesus Malverde. The charity funds will be specifically for the poor and homeless. I will also offer one free light and a prayer on your behalf to Jesus Malverde for your requests to do with court work, poverty, homelessness, or financial insecurity.
Why? March and April were just really awful months. I witnessed several friends fall into extreme poverty. People who were even relatively affluent a few years ago now struggling to make ends meet. I have friends who are unjustly accused for civil and in 2 cases criminal offenses where they are being held in the courts on the most ridiculous of cases. I’m shocked any of the cases even made it to court. One person has been fighting for a few years and is being drained by lawyer fees. I guess that broke something in me. Just seeing the injustice of it all. I wanted to do something to benefit those I saw suffering around me, as well as those I did not see who are similarly suffering.
If you want help, please contact me, and if you want TO HELP, please buy a service. 10% of every sale goes to helping people who are struggling with homelessness and poverty this month. Thank you!
A muggle friend and I were chatting this weekend, and she asked me why I don’t curse people more often. My reply? “Because it works.”
I then detailed specific incidents of said curses working too well. One thing even was national news. You’d have to ask me privately (I am not naming names publicly) but let’s just say it was a much harsher outcome than intended, and I forgot I’d even cursed the person until it came up on the evening news, and I recognized them. They don’t live near Maine or near it, and were not someone of such great notoriety that I would ever have expected to see them on the news, but what I did worked very well. The news story even clearly suited the timeline of my spellwork.
It’s not all darkness either. Before I started writing this blog and was still a very young woman, I did a love drawing spell on a guy I’d been on 2 dates with. It was a really bad fit which I realized a few weeks later but my spell started kicking in, and now he wouldn’t fuck off…clingy, needy, whiny, and not my type but he sure couldn’t get enough of me. I found my name paper, and burned it, and within 24-48 hours he said we should break up. This guy who was all about me to a crazy level, just literally had no feelings the moment I killed the spell. It stands out because it’s not usually so quickly intense or so quickly dissipated, but it was one of many personal incidents I had where what I did worked, and to an almost Hollywood movie level of epic. Like it could not be coincidence. At all.
I don’t have to reflect on every incident of my “it worked and then some” experiences, because I’ve been on the other side, too. That is harder. Sometimes it feels like nothing works.
While retrospective on these times has answered “why” in most cases, (and even when it comes to myself working for myself, it is getting in my own way and lust for results that were the cause of something taking too long to work just like it is for most people,) but that did not suck any less when I was working towards something I really wanted.
Still, clearly the key was this stuff works and if you can stay out of your own way (easier said than done at times) and keep the situation off your mind, it works spectacularly. I’ve had readers so surprised by their own initial successes that it scared them. Even if they got what they wanted.
What I see too much in my line of work is that people refuse to stop obsessing, but they also aren’t willing to try a spell and see if it works.
It works. Try it.
And that’s why I am not nearly as curse happy as I might otherwise be. It’s hard to justify destroying lives when you just wanted mild spite, and it can become just that.
If you want something in life, take a chance. Use the magic. Cast the spell. Get what you want. Try it for yourself.
But just remember, you could very well get what you want, and be certain it is what you really want.
Recently, some of you have been bringing a few things to my attention that you found on TikTok which are just so laughably bad and untrue that…it confirms that TikTok is still full of people pretending to be witches, and possibly (almost surely) perhaps entirely devoid of anyone who actually knows anything about real spellcasting.
You see, we don’t actually just make shit up as we go along when it comes to making spells. That’s not at all how it works. You don’t use something because it just feels right or maybe sounds cool. There are 100% zero ingredients in my spells which I do not know exactly why they exist in the spell.
Vinegar isn’t used to protect. And that was one brought to me last night, if you can tell me why you disagree, I’m willing to hear it, but traditionally I would use vinegar in souring and cursing.
Bay leaves are generally not used for control or cursing. They are mostly for success and recognition. They do have a bit of a commanding vibe in the sense of charisma, but that doesn’t make them a commanding herb. That you can conveniently find it in a Walmart spice aisle doesn’t mean you can invent reasons for it to be in your spell which make no sense. So no…do not use bay laurel leaves to curse people.
Speaking of curses, cursing the moon is ineffective. You will accomplish nothing. That one is hearsay, but I’m told some witchtok-ers tried cursing the moon.
Lastly, and this one is my favorite, I’m reasonably certain if you feed your rooster your dried menses (and chickens are an odd lot) on the first morning after the full moon, your rooster (assuming he eats it) will not magically transport the desire for you back into your ex. That at least sounded a bit more traditional. However, I know chickens and I know magic and the context of the spell tells me you’re just forcing a rooster to eat your gross period blood. Just feeding a rooster period blood is exactly what that sounds like. If you are not using the rooster as a proxy properly (which that spell made him no proxy at all) for the ex…you’re just being weird but with chickens.
I appreciate people wanting to learn and experiment, but you should not be trying to educate others or pretend to be an expert online when you are not. Please do not post TikTok’s about stuff you just made up.
And please don’t use TikTok to learn magic…at least until such a time where there isn’t so much cringey fake stuff on there posted on there.
I know I shared this one some time ago (probably more than 15 years ago, now, so it’s buried in the archives) and I wanted to expand on the original version I’d shared so we could look at some long-term jar work that IS NOT a honey jar, and can be used in love workings like I’d discussed recently here.
This one is pretty simple to make. 🙂
The original version is basically poppyseeds, a slip of paper, a small jar like a baby food jar, and controlling oil.
And before I go into that further, let me say this…. NEVER EVER EVER BUY MACHINE MADE RITUAL OILS. The oils have to be made by hand in small batches. It is a large part of their potency and power. I absolutely love Laurie over at Anubeion Creations at this writing. She blends a few things like my Liar Liar Pants on Fire recipe (which was always f***ing awesome but she even helped me improve it!) specially and she has her own recipes that definitely will add a lot of zap to any spell. There are some places (including a few which should not be popular,) which I DO NOT recommend their recipes or products. Please contact me for an updated list of people/brands I recommend and those who I strongly recommend you avoid.
Okay, back to our topic. Basically, you write your target’s full name on a slip of paper with all edges torn not cut on one side of the paper, and on the opposite side you write the command (avoiding negatives like no, not, never, and speaking in the present tense). You fill the jar with poppyseeds, and then 10-20 drops of oil, mixing it to make almost a paste, and shove the slip of paper into the middle (I use a chopstick like one of the cheap wood ones you get for free when you order Asian food take out,) and in the original spell this was really all you had to do. Do that, then wait. The idea would get in the target’s mind. And it worked…not always fast, but it did work.
This was 15 (or probably a fair bit more) years ago I shared this, and my ADHD would never want to keep it so simple. 😉 Plus, waiting is so 2000’s. Haha.
You will need the same basic items: A small jar with a metal lid Poppyseeds (a good sized bag) A slip of paper with edges torn (not cut) off A pen (I use ballpoint for this, usually black ink)
But I’ve switched up ritual oils, and I’ve added in different colors of candle, plus I have used a hair of the head of a target with great results. You may not be able to get the hair – but the other stuff you can certainly find on the internet. You will still be putting oil into the jar to make a paste (some specific ones listed below), and if you have a hair, shove it into the paste with the command/name paper. Still write the target’s full name on one side of the paper, and on the other, write the command in using the present tense and avoiding negatives (no, not, never,) for example “(name of target,) call (name of petitioner) immediately, now, now!”
So with candles I usually burn a purple chime candle dressed in controlling oil or commanding oil on top of the jar every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday if I need them to take a particular action or act in a particular way. If I want the person to communicate the specific idea, I use a communication oil (these will be labeled with a title like “talk to me” or even “Communication”) on an orange candle and burn this on Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday. If I want someone to feel regretful on a love matter, I use Intranquility or Anima Sola oil on a red candle on a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If I want someone to feel pangs of love and desire I will use a pink candle dressed with Come to Me oil and burned on top on a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Chime candles are all you need.
Once you have achieved your goal, do not reuse this item. It is specific to the command inside. BUT, it does work very quickly when you do a candle ritual on top of the jar. When you light your candle, all you need to say is your command (so like the example above I might say “John Smith call Cat W. immediately, now, now!”) and then “As is my will, so be it!” and let the candle burn out. Remove all the wax drippings from the outside of the jar before burning another candle on top to prevent fire accidents.
This is an incredibly useful little jar working. I hope it helps some of you achieve your dreams. There will be questions, so please ask! 🙂
~Cat
PS- want to really make this kick? Instead of using a name paper, get a piece of Devil’s Shoestring root, and write the target’s name on one side and then the command on the other side. This isn’t as easy as it might sound, and you’ll need to write SMALL. BUT, the difference is noticeable! 🙂
If there is one thing that has been very unfortunate for true students of magic and the occult, it’s the rise of AI – at least at this writing. AI is neither psychic, nor a good judge of magic, does not know what makes a magic spell, and of course it has zero practice casting spells, so it really isn’t going to have any experience with what it’s discussing. It will only be entirely confounded not only by the amount of incredibly bad and wrong information out there (looking at you “I pretend I know magic on TikTok” folks,) but also by fiction (think Hollywood movies, fairy tales, and Harry Potter,) which at least at this writing it would be 100% incapable of separating from the real stuff. There already have been several terrifying news articles about people who become incredibly mentally ill and believe ChatGPT or Claude is psychic and telling them their future, only to spirial and literally need to stay in a mental hospital after a full break down when the AI admits it wasn’t really ever psychic, it just believed in you. That’s not a joke. There’s plenty of news articles about this…
There are ways to protect yourself, of course. And I’ll try to list a few.
Avoid practicing/reading ANYTHING written by AI that is on the topic of AI or the Occult or Magic – Luckily, at least at this writing, a discerning reader can actually tell the difference between something written by AI and something written by a human the vast majority of the time. If, however, you were never much of a reader, you may not so easily see the difference. It always reads very similarly…and reads a bit detached. It doesn’t have much personality, and if you’re lucky, whoever posted it admits who the true author is (AI not a human,) normally while simultaneously extolling how great the article the AI wrote is (it is often quite forgettable.) If the person writing tells you that it’s source is AI, do not use anything in that article or book. If you detect that it’s a machine writing the article by it having that AI verisimilitude, also do not use anything from that article or book. As we allow AI to progress, this may become more and more difficult to figure out what is coming from a human and what is coming from a computer brain. You may be better off using information from books and articles that predate the use of AI. At this time I’d honestly say most things should be published no later than 2021, perhaps even a year earlier. That might be a bit odd to say with this article being published in 2026, but my writing does not read like AI (again that being it doesn’t read like it yet, as it might even a few years from now.)
EXPERIENCE AND PRACTICE with magic is a huge HUGE HUGE deal with getting magic to work right and in understanding how it does. I do not want to know what could happen if AI could achieve this, and I mean IF. I am not sure it could, even with a machine body.
DO NOT use AI as a “fortune telling tool.” The amount of scary stories I read about formerly mentally-healthy people who believed AI could be used this way, and who later had full mental breakdowns (and many who have yet to recover,) is not small. It should never be suggested it even be used in this manner, even just for entertainment. I used to see it as harmless when people did this (like the incredibly awful and hokey tarot reading apps of 10-15 years ago which did not work whatsoever for many reasons,) and just something stupid that muggles enjoyed, but I have read more about the real harm it has done to people in the last 1-2 years, and truly would recommend everyone avoid ever using AI in this capacity, even if just for amusement.
Openly identify blogs, articles, books, and anything recommending the use of AI in magic, and WARN others to avoid them. I’m not trying to be a luddite here. I love technology. And I’m even sure that AI can improve our lives in several ways, but as I said, it requires experience that AI can’t have to understand the topic I write on about here, years of practice, and knowledge it can’t gain without those years of practice. It’s worse to trust AI on this topic than trusting a kid who is not old enough to drink who read a single book about spellcraft once over an experienced worker who has worked with thousands of people for decades for advice and education on how to cast a spell. Since I’ve seen plenty of people mislead themselves with that kid who read a book once, I truly know several people will unwisely follow a bot, too. Do your homework, and know who you’re talking to. Help others by telling them not to use or read anything written by AI. Reviews are not anything I trust (outside of Amazon,) because they are often fake or just bizarre and exaggerated, and I know many others who feel the same way, so this might be a hard message to get out. No one is perfect all of the time, or awful all of the time, but if you believe reviews it seems like everyone is either an angel or Satan, haha. But if I can see someone has been present in the occult world for over five years, that’s a sign they are a real human. If they’ve been around longer than that, they probably have plenty of experience, too. Put your trust in real humans when learning magic, learning divination, for real spells, and for buying any spiritual service.
If you are an occult author DO NOT use AI to help you write. Write your own copy. You are not a child cheating at writing a report for school. Stop behaving like one. You are part of the problem though.
Try to attend classes and conventions run by humans – depending where you are this may be an option. While there are sure to be a number of fluff bunnies doing the teaching (people who are not real occultists) as these things attract all types, it’s still better than not learning anything real because a computer is lying to you. The human that sucks at magic still knows better than AI
I realize we’ve gone over honey jars in here before, and I apologize as it’s not really the most exciting thing to share – very common in fact, – but for my new readers and folks who are beginners, this offers a very simple way to do a type of working that is useful for reconciliation, for drawing love, and even drawing attraction from a specific person. It also ties in with my previous post, as will some subsequent posts. 🙂 This is a long term working, so if you’re looking for a quick candle spell, this isn’t likely what you wanted. BUT, this doesn’t take long to do when you perform your ritual on it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Most of this can be sourced from simple ingredients that you probably have on hand. The first honey jar (also called sweet jars) that I ever made was literally table sugar, honey packets I took from a local coffee shop over a few visits (it took a lot of honey packets, haha,) and a wooden popsicle stick with ballpoint pen. That was over three decades ago, and I was very young, so I have made many since.
And what I’ve learned in the years since is that honey is NOT necessary. You can use any sweet syrup – corn (Karo) syrup, maple syrup, agave syrup. All of them work. Honey does have a connection to Venus though, so you might find that you prefer it for love matters.
Today, let’s go for a very easy version so everyone can use this spell – I’ve probably posted something incredibly similar, but I have been writing this blog for 22 years at this writing so it’s going to happen. 😉 Also, I know I have a few old images of honey jars I’ve made, so here is one you can see for yourself!
You will need: A glass jar with a metal lid Honey or any sweet syrup White table sugar (like what you put in your coffee) Rose petals (preferably red or pink – dried is best but fresh is fine) A scrap of paper with all edges torn (not cut) off – traditionally this is a scrap of brown paper bag but any unlined paper will do A pen with black or green ink 3 images of your target (they can all be the same image, but you will need 3 of this item) Pink chime candles Optional: a picture frame
The spell: The jar is best made on a Friday in the first quarter phase of the moon, and the preceding candle ritual is best done every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before 10am until you have the desired result. On your piece of paper write your target’s name out 9 times on one line each, for example John Smith John Smith John Smith John Smith (etc – but you write it out nine times, lol) and once you have done so, turn the paper so the names are vertical (up and down) and write (horizontal so as to make a grid pattern, your command 9 times). Make sure it is the same command each 9 times, but examples might include “sweet thoughts of (your name) you will think constantly,” or “love and desire (your name) and only (your name),” or ‘be kind to (your name), be sweet to (your name), love only (your name).” You can create your own but keep your command in the present tense and avoid using negatives (no, not, never). Now spit into the center of your paper, and place an image of your target on top of the paper. Fold once towards you, folding paper and image together, then turn and fold once towards you again (if you unfolded this paper the creases would look like a + sign, NOT like 4 lines..)
Place this into your jar. Now fill the jar about 1/3 to 1/2 full of sugar. Add in about 2 tablespoons of rosepetal. Fill to the top with honey/sweetener.* Seal the jar. Shake the jar three times while saying “Sweet, sweet thoughts of me” (or petitioner’s name) you will think constantly!” Repeat this (the shaking 3 times and saying the command) six more times for a total of 7 times.
Place the jar on top of an image, and place another image where the target is “looking” at the spell. I like to use a picture frame and generally selfies where it is mostly someone’s face aren’t hard to get these days (thanks social media!) so I place the framed picture so it’s looking at the jar.
Light a pink candle and let a little wax dribble on top of the metal lid, then stick the candle to the lid using these drippings. I like to charge, bless, and anoint all my candles in a love-based oil, and roll them in dried rosepetal and sugar, but if you are a beginner, just burning the candle is perfectly acceptable. As the candle burns, say “(Full name of target,) you will think sweet thoughts of (name of petitioner/your name) constantly. You love and desire only (name of petitioner) and (name of petitioner) alone! As is my will so be it!” Now allow the candle to burn out. Remove any drippings from the lid and sides when it has done so. It might look “cool” to have candle wax all over the lid, but it’s also a huge fire hazard.
You can store the jar in a closet or out of sight when not being used. Just set the altar as described every time you light a candle on the lid, which should be every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before 10am until the target’s behavior is to your satisfaction. When this is acheived, you may store the jar for later use. As long as your aim is the same, and the jar shows no signs of mold or decay, you can use this jar spell over and over.
*Settling may occur. If you have added your items, before sealing, I often like to allow a chance for all the gasses to rise to the top (it seriously takes only a few minutes!) and then I add more honey/sweetener.
Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind 