Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Hey Occulties,

Back to our favorite topic. 🙂 It's been a long few weeks for me over here – I got a new stalker who was mad that I said if she didn't want to follow the terms of service, I wasn't going to accept her business, but the best of luck…she's now threatening me regularly, calling me a "fake" (mind you, never did business with her, just gave a her a consultation, and she was too lazy to read the contract she agreed to on the intake form, then decided she didn't want to work with me if she couldn't have her way.) So, that's been fun. I don't think I've had a complete psychonut in awhile…like 2 months? Interesting that they all have love problems – I mean if you verbally attack someone for almost 2 straight weeks because you didn't like being told you had to follow the TOS or else they couldn't accept your business, and they patiently explained why that is a rule of their business,….if you act like that to a complete stranger, do you really expect your love life with someone you supposedly love to go smoothly? Most of us wouldn't. 😉

But that's OK. 🙂 Business is good. I'm almost out of multiple week packages over 3 weeks for the rest of the year. This means I must be doing something right. 😉 Because I am having a HIGH VOLUME of email, if you haven't had a reply for something for THREE BUSINESS DAYS (Monday-Friday, excluding Holidays,) PLEASE RE-EMAIL ME. I am not perfect, and sometimes I have several cases manifesting at once, and so something of non-emergency status gets buried no matter how I try. It doesn't make it not important, but if I need to help with this reply text to their target, and this other person is OMIGOD TOTALLY RAN INTO SO AND SO AT THIS PARTY AND SO AND SO IS ALL OVER THEM! WHAT DO THEY DO!!!!!??? then even I sometimes get distracted, and when I scroll my messages later I get to most everyone (if not everyone), but if I've been quiet longer than 3 business days, definitely tell me you're waiting. 🙂 I reply on three different devices, so my system is not practically flawless as it once was when I only really used one. However, it gives me like 100% mobility so I am actually faster in reply than I was 5 years ago in my humble opinion! :) 

But enough about me, let's talk about spells. :) 

We had been talking about long term reconciliation awhile back, and because everyone is just DYING if they do not hear from So-and-so RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW, (or so I'm told,) I had thought about offering something with communication, but that can be tricky…

See, the problem with your general communication spell is that it is going to create communication, and not necessarily what you WANT TO HEAR (or read, if you text more.) So, let's say you just use communication on an ex – nothing more, nothing less. He or she might contact you to settle a bill, ask where their possession is (assuming you might have it,) ask for a mutual friend's number….or if you're truly lucky (and I've seen people use communication by itself and have this happen,) they might say why they don't like you, think you're mean, or want you to move on. That's very hurtful if you have been hoping for them to open up and say "OH I NEED YOU!" 

However, I've said it to readers and clients alike – one of the hardest things for many reconciliation targets is to get them to reach out. They think you might reject them! People are trained from an early age to not wear their hearts on their sleeve, and this means they can freeze up and think that you would no longer want them if they did ask to come back. Ugh. 

Well, I have a little trick that you could use to get LOVING communication. Technically I'd normally make a dolly to do this. Photos don't hold up. That said, I know how big all of you are on sewing dollies and stuff, which is to say you're like "Sew some shit just to get someone to text me? Fuck that, Cat, you know I didn't even put pants on today, so like I'm gonna sew something!" Well, thank internet we all have choices, now, right? Right. There are a few choices out there where you can get an image on fabric and it should be washing machine safe, even if in cold water. I don't care if it's a square shape, just that your target is in this image..and I have seen pillows and stuff with an image on it. I want this to just be able to ABSORB FLUID and yet withstand MORE THAN ONE SOAKING. So check out sites that make t-shirts (even just one,) like probably Zazzle.com or VistaPrint.com – just entering "make throw pillow with photo" on Google brought up a ridiculous amount of hits for me, so I'm sure you can find a company that suits your needs. Get an image of your target. Get this on a pillow. That's all I ask. 

If you want to be fancy and make a doll and even put personal stuff inside, that's great. I would do that personally, but I'm writing for a larger audience here, and so if you can do that, you know how, do it. If you don't know how, just go get the pillow. 🙂

Now gentlemen will use HIGH JOHN THE CONQUEROR ROOT CHIPS (just get a few roots and use toenail clippers on whole roots to make chips if you can't get chips,) and ladies will use CATNIP – and even if you are a gay lady or a gay gent, you use the high john if you have boy bits, and the catnip if you have girl bits and the spell is for you, OK? Now we will need your first morning's urine! So when you get up and you have to pee, you catch this urine in a container. Ladies, if you are still menstruating, it's even better if you use your first morning urine with some menstrual blood, but if you have stopped menstruating – for medical reasons or those of age, – just use your first morning's pee. Gents, just use that first morning pee. 😉 Now pour this urine into a small cook pot with about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of catnip or high john root (whichever is appropriate,) and about 3 cups water. 

If you have roommates, you might want to hold on to this pee stuff until no one is home, heh. Because we're about to get weird. 😀 Put this on the stove, and bring it to a rolling boil. It might smell a bit. I won't lie. When it has reached a rolling boil, reduce the heat a bit to have it simmer – do not cover it, and holding your hand over this mixture (not so as to burn yourself, place at a safe distance,) say "(Name of target, drawn to me, think of me endlessly, come to me now,  overcome with love and desire, come to  me, speak to me immediately, now, now," and as you say this, imagine this person coming to you with a look of love and desire upon their face. When you have said this, remove your hand (It should be your right in most cases, but that which you write with,) and then wait about three minutes, and repeat this process, six more times, for a total of seven times. This should take approximately 21 minutes, and if you find your mixture is losing too much fluid (it very well might,) feel free to add a bit more water. The idea is when you are done boiling it, that you will have probably around a cup of fluid. I don't know how much you pee in the morning. Some people pee a lot. Some people don't pee a lot. 

Anyhow, let this cool down, and strain it off (it's okay if a few herb bits remain in it,) and pour it into a spray bottle. Purchase a sweet "tasting" cigar from the store (swisher sweets or certain flavors of Black and Mild cigars work well,) and then place the pillow/dolly so it is facing you. Light the cigar (sorry if you can't bear tobacco smoke,) and make sure it is burning well. Stare at the pillow, thinking strongly on your target. I find I often feel like I "connect to the person," – like I am no longer staring at an image but looking them right in the face, and then when you get to a point where you feel that you have connected to their higher self, spray some of your pee mixture right on their face, and puff the cigar smoke (you don't need to inhale,) and blow it out on their face as you say, "Come to me (name of target), you are drawn to me, you think only of seeing me, smelling me, tasting me, touching me, and speaking to me. Come to me this very moment, think of me this very instant, speak to me full of love and desire for only me, this very moment, immediately now now!" Now you might have to take a few puffs to say that all with smoke coming out of your mouth, but make sure you're blowing smoke on them as you say it. Repeat this (spray the image, repeat the chant,) 2 more times for a total of three times, and upon completing the third repetition, say "As is my will, so be it!" Place your pee mixture and doll/pillow in a safe, unseen place. Repeat daily until contact is made. 

You may have to re-make the pee mix. It goes rancid quickly. If you're full of pee and not ashamed to boil it with herbs (hey, if you live alone, it's no biggie,) and you live close to your target, you can actually pour this, when done with your chanting that day, in a trail from where your lover/ex is staying (start there,) to your home (assuming they aren't far.) If you live nowhere near them, but you want to remake the pee mixture, pour it out on the front steps of your home. If you live in an apartment use the entry door way, preferably doing this when everyone is not milling about watching you pour pee out. 😉 DO NOT pour this out in this fashion when it goes rancid (it can take only a day or so at times, and it smells BAD.) Instead, pour that down the toilet. You may need to hold your nose (it gets a very strong icky pee smell.) 

I've had some report fast results using this. Obviously, if someone is not making a move within 21 days, you will have a very icky pee item. I would try something else. We are looking for contact in UNDER THREE WEEKS. I'd say about 70% or so of people who used this daily tended to report a reaction in 7-10 days on average. If someone did not react in 21 days, they generally never reacted. :/ 

This spell is designed to get someone very interested in seeing you, being with you, and speaking to you! 🙂 It's not going to fix "chased someone down the street with an axe" level of damage in most cases, but it will work well on new (never before dated,) love interests, current "dwindling interest" love cases, and break up cases where the person is still kind and showing some interest (not totally estranged in many cases.)

Your mileage may vary, so feel free to contact me and let me know your results.

As always this spell is copyright me, and I pay people to catch you for stealing my work, so don't rip me off, because I'm also litigious as all hell. >:)

~Cat

PS- for a little added oomph, boil the pee mixture with about 1-2 teaspoons of poppy seed alongside your catnip or high john root, to make the target more suggestible. :)