Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • We ALL Need Instructions for Something or Other in Life

    Hey Occulties,

    I just wanted to say something as it came up about 8 times in the last four days all through various people… NO it is NOT CORRECT to "JUST DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT" when it comes to magic, and that is some of the WORST FUCKING POSSIBLE ADVICE to give to someone and if someone gives it to you, do not listen to another word out the person says or writes. In fact, possibly unless you are a HIGH ADEPT at some paradigm (that's a particular type of magic) and definitely if you still require looking up spells in a book all the time* then you do not have the ability to begin doing such things. Like, I've been able to cook (albeit not well when under a certain age) since I was like 7 or 8 years old because I'm Gen X and that's just how we rolled. Now 35 years later, I don't need to look up a lot of recipes. I don't need to be told what ingredients work with what. I am a very good cook. One might even say I'm an adept at it. I might be able to just slap something together using intuition as I am INCREDIBLY FAMILIAR with cooking, and how foods react to certain heats and oils and the instruments of cooking from pressure cooker down to stove burner and even convection and toaster ovens and microwaves having over three decades of experience in it.  HOWEVER, if I had never even microwaved a frozen dinner (as would be the level of many newbies to magic,) nor heated anything directly out of a can onto the stove successfully, I sure as shit should not be cooking anything from scratch. This is the same as someone telling neophytes "Do what feels right," when that is TOTALLY WRONG. No, and if it is right in any way, it's only right for incredibly adept people who know the meaning and the use and the personality of every ingredient. If you would be cooking at a level of "I think all sugar is the same and that even salt is sugar as both are granulated," when compared to your magical knowledge, get away from the kitchen and the altar if you think you are going to be successful dreaming things up. If you're at the level where you literally can eyeball out perfectly measured amounts without a measuring cup like I can and can make a gazillion things from scratch just using your memory (you thought you'd brag about being cool when you start getting old, but it's this type of thing,) if we compared cooking skill to magical knowledge (and yes, I am a master of both, thank you for wondering,) then sure, you go do what you think sounds right because you'd know. You know that even though this ingredient does do this, it won't work with that ingredient, but that ingredient can be replaced with these two because they will work together nicely, and it's not just "I chose poppies because I thought they were bold and exciting"for a charisma spell when they do not have the effect of boldness or excitement whatsoever in spellwork. It doesn't matter if that's what they make you think of.

    I'm sure I'll get some hate for it, but hate away. At least I'm over here eating good food and doing spells that work while you're just grumbling that you were divinely inspired with your non-manifesting spell and eating frozen dinners you burned, so 😛

    ~Cat

     

     

    *I know some people will argue this is not true with Solomonic type traditions, except I know plenty of people who have memorized 4-5 page spell chants for several Solomonic spells so you can argue elsewhere. 

  • Refresher on Lust for Results

    Hey Occulties, 

    Looking like it's review time, since I'm getting a lot of this stuff in my inbox. 

    So loosely, lust for results is obsessing about your situation you're working on, the people involved, the spellwork, – basically obsessing about that situation, the people, or the work (and I mean its past, present, or future, or that past, present, or future of the situation,) is lust for results. 

    I see a few of you trying to come into some excuses how this is "normal," or "healthy," when it is neither. When myself and Mr NinjaCat are having zero problems, I do not sit there wondering what he is thinking about me RIGHT NOW. I do not wonder if he's at work or out with another girl. I am probably more focused on other things, because my romantic relationship is of little concern. If we are arguing or there's some dust up, then I might start focusing on what I SUSPECT he's thinking right now, or I might worry he's not at work or think he's out with another girl. This is me, were a spell cast, lusting on the old results. 

    Now most of you have read my blog for some time and this is not of any news to you. AND since lust for results is most common in love situations, and then the next most common is revenge situations, then I will use those for my examples.

    So, what people also don't realize is fantasizing is also lust for results. Let's say Mr NinjaCat and I are having zero problems. So I think to myself we should take some next big step like move in together, or marriage, or babies – these are all things that people in a healthy relationship probably think of from time to time. So I do some sort of spell to urge him to make this commitment, then I fantasize about some baby-marriage-living together scenario that some lovesick twenty-something would fantasize about probably because they've never been married. Now all of the sudden it seems like Mr NinjaCat is losing interest, or things are the same, just not moving towards this bizarrely wonderful idea of long-term commitment I've imagined (which, not to be an ass, is really a fantasy that doesn't generally hold up,) because I cast a spell.

    But I was using positive thinking?! That's a happy thought?

    Yeah and it's also lust for results. I'm killing the spellwork. Just because you're not having a cry or attacking yourself emotionally, or being doom and gloom, that doesn't equate with not focusing on the situation you're working on.

    Now, I don't suggest you are capable entirely of separating yourself from your own life so much that if you, say, live or work with your target, or are in regular contact with them, that you could just blot out all thought of them. Nor do I think that if you are in a situation where they neither live with you nor are in contact that you would just blot out all thought. I have experienced lust for results myself though, and it's entirely different than "normal, healthy, thought." It's obsessive. It's not "I thought about my ex a few times today, but only for a few minutes." It's "I stalked my ex today, but only for a few minutes." It's not "I think it would be great to get married to my partner" being a passing thought, it's more "I fantasized and looked at wedding gowns when we aren't even engaged." It isn't "My partner is acting strange, I wonder if s/he is cheating" it's "I broke into my partner's phone and deleted all the people that aren't me or his/her family because I just know s/he must be cheating." 

    So, it's a hugely different thing than a passing thought. AND the amount of people I tell that they are doing it that deny doing this even to themselves and then cop to being hugely obsessive later on is no small number. 

    What can you do? When you start obsessing, tell yourself you're taking care of the problem, and you don't need to worry on it anymore…I mean, assuming you're spellcasting on it.

    That's all for now though I am working on a spell article. It's coming slowly as I have a large amount of unpaying work I have to do for my business. :P 

    ~Cat

    If you have any questions, feel free to contact me! 

  • Mercury RX Get that Sexy Ex Back Spell

    Hi Occulties,

    You know, I have to say 2022 was like a non-stop Mercury retrograde for me, so much so that I didn't realize we were in a Mercury retrograde until someone said something about it to me on Saturday, ha ha. 😉 I can't say the same for everyone else, but it does kind of clear up why it took me three damn days to update my nameservers and I had to ask for help doing so when I've been doing that stuff since the early aughts all on my own. 😛

    And while everyone bad mouths Mercury retrograde (and it surely has it's bad sides,) Mercury retrograde does have a tendency of doing one thing a lot of my readers are seeking….it's a mofuggin' exes coming back magnet, yo. That's right, whether you want an ex back or want to be as far away as possible from everyone you ever dated, it's very possible someone from your dating history (or even multiple someones,) are gonna reach out. 

    Of course that depends on if you want an ex.

    And with it's goodness (or goodness for some,) it also helps reconnect you with people you've lost touch with. So, that, again, is good for some people who fell out of communication with a loved one. 

    We all know it's bad sides of making communication difficult, messing with banking, messing with electronic communications, making websites and apps act weird, but if you formed any relationship (business, friendship – within the last 3 or so years, and romantic – within the last 5-8,) you might also have noticed that if that relationship was formed during the shadow period of mercury entering retrograde, or during a mercury retrograde itself, your relationship often goes sour during this time, and that can lead to a permanent split. I know folks who say that is a permanent issue which is why someone should avoid creating long term partnerships in a Mercury retrograde, but in my experience it does seem to even itself out after several years. Now, that could also be a good thing. Maybe you want to fuck up someone's relationship. Did it form during a retrograde? Well, use this one to further your causes then. In fact, go make your rival's ex be all over them like white on rice while their relationship is fucked up from them forming it during a Mercury retrograde. Remember, everything is an opportunity if you're crafty enough. (evil laugh) I'm glad I didn't get with my current partner during a Mercury retrograde but having had a ticket to that shitshow more than once, you have my sympathies if you formed yours during one. Feel free to contact me for helpful tips on keeping your relationship stable during a Mercury retrograde if you find yourself in that situation. 

    Because today we are going to do a little spell to call that sexy ex you want back into your life, rather than focusing on fixing something existing. This spell will likely work just the same outside of Mercury Retrograde but I thought it was a cute title. 🙂

    You will need:
    white granulated sugar
    brown granulated sugar
    real vanilla extract
    red and/or pink rose petals (dried)
    licorice root chips or powder
    cinquefoil (dried)
    Return to me oil 
    Spool of pink thread (small – best if it's about the size you find in a sewing kit) 
    Image of the target (small)
    Image of yourself (or the petitioner, also small) 
    A small piece of plain paper (I use traditional brown paper bag with all edges torn off)
    A pen, preferably with black ink or green ink
    A small pink (or traditional red-flannel) bag
    A pink candle or sealing wax 

    To create – in a small bowl, place about a teaspoon of licorice, a teaspoon of cinquefoil, a teaspoon of rosepetals, and about 2-3 teaspoons of vanilla. Allow this to soak up the vanilla and give it a day or so to dry a bit. Vanilla extract is actually a ton of alcohol and it may take less time. Once it is no longer feels moist it is ready. It's perfectly fine to soak this and then spread it on something to dry out. 

    Now using your pen and paper, write out the ex's name seven times. So if my ex is Chris Hemsworth (ha!) I would write this out as:
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Hemsworth
    Chris Hemsworth

    And write across this seven times "Returns filled with love and desire to (your full name) now" seven times so it makes a sort of grid pattern. A similar example might look like this:

    AEC355A5-1454-4F7C-B006-E8CE773F14CA_1_102_oAs you can see the spell target's name is running vertical here, with the command running horizontal, and crossing it. This is what you want to do.

    Once this is created, spit into the center of the paper and say "(Full name of target) return filled with love, and with desire for (your name/name of petitioner) immediately, now, now." and place your target's image face up onto the paper. Now sprinkle some white sugar on the image, and repeat, "(Full name of target,) return filled with love and with desire for (name of petitioner), immediately, now, now." Now sprinkle some brown sugar on the image, and repeat again "(Full name of target, return to (name of petitioner,) immediately, now, now." Now sprinkle some of the vanilla-soaked herbs on the image and say it a fourth time. Now, place the image of yourself/petitioner face down over the image and herbs and sugars, and repeat it a fifth time. Now fold the paper towards you and say the phrase a sixth time. Fold it towards you again to quarter the paper (so if you unfolded this it would have a rectangle in every corner, not four rectangles in a line) and say the phrase a seventh time, and when you say it a seventh time, you then say "(Name of target,) I call upon your very spirit to return to me (or petitioner,) so that you seek me* out like a moth to a flame. Come to me now, call me now, be with me now, – immediately! This very minute!" Now start wrapping this up with your pink thread, wrapping towards you and as you do so, keep calling to the target as above, so you can use what was given "(Name of target,) I call upon your very spirit to return to me (or petitioner,) so that you seek me* out like a moth to a flame. Come to me now, call me now, be with me now, – immediately! This very minute!" until you have wrapped into a cocoon with your pink thread, then light your pink candle or use your sealing wax and try to cover this with the wax so all of the ingredients stay in. When you have done this, say "As is my will, so be it!" and then you take the packet up to your lips and blow on it three times, and say "I give you breath of life that you work for me as I tell you to," after each breath, and place this in your pink bag. Place a few drops of return to me oil into the bag to feed it (feeding it once a week on friday for as long as you need it to work thereafter.) and tie it shut. Hide the pink bag in or under your bed where it won't be found only to take it out as needed. 

    Hope that was educational. If you need me, contact me here. 

    ~Cat

     

     

     

    *I hate to say this but some people are very slow and will not understand that "me" and "I" needs to be replaced with the petitioners name if not being cast for yourself. So, since it is annoying to everyone who could figure that out, from here, you need to replace that with your petitioners name if you are working for another.

  • New Site Design! – UPDATED

    Hey everyone,

    Check out the new business site design! For about the next 24 hours please use my forms and not my @originalninjacat email to contact me. I haven't finished setting up my email but should have it there soon. 

    There is a 10% off sale on all services until the 3rd to celebrate the new host and design. :) 

    ~Cat

    UPDATE- THE EMAIL IS WORKING – I've lost all old emails but have switched to a permanent provider for my @originalninjacat.com emails, so you can just hit reply and resend anything I may have lost in the shuffle. 🙂

    PLUS, I know have a specific ANNOUNCEMENTS page for business announcements so we don't have to have them all over the blog all the time 🙂

  • Bad Tabouleh

    Hey Occulties,

    If you know the deliciousness that is tabouleh salad, then you know it's addictive food and you may understand why I would consume it out of the tub with a spoon despite it being probably a tad past good to eat on the expiry date. I was ragingly ragingly ill. Still don't regret it. Still tasted fabulous on the way down. Not so much on the way back up but not as bad as other foods can taste. 

    So, I regret it if I missed your appointment today. Please contact me ASAP to reschedule and I promise to be more careful the next time I see a half a tub of tabouleh in the back of my fridge and think "I'm not sure when I bought that, but fuck I love that stuff." 

    ~Cat

  • To Get a Debt Repaid

    Hey Occulties,

    So, there are NO FREE SERVICES, – no free readings, recastings, or spells. Also, I have FIVE BUSINESS DAYS to reply to you and if you complain prior to that about something being late, I may just fire you. If both types don't like that, I don't like freebie gougers, and Mr NinjaCat is the only person on the planet who can nag me and have it work out in his favor about half of the time, so none of you should be nagging me at all. If there is any more of that crap, everyone can expect my schedule to free right the fck up when I fire those people. Here's a picture of me giving a dirty look while finishing wrapping stuff just so you know I mean business. 

    62639FBC-4CB9-4D2F-82ED-F4BFE8F9776F

    Now that we've established I'm serious about no free stuff and that I hate wrapping things (haha) and not to nag me, let's get on with something a bit more fun. So a few people have asked me to post a spell to collect on a personal loan. Now, I want to first stipulate that you loaned them money (not that you paid them or gave it to them and changed your mind,) and secondly that the person must be able to pay you! Do not even bother trying to use this on someone who can't afford anything, much less afford to pay you back…but if you lent the money and the person seems pretty flush with cash and you are pretty sure they could pay you something, try this…

    You will need:
    Dirt from the grave of a thief*
    Dirt from in front of a police station
    Dirt from a court or jail
    A jar
    Red pepper
    A piece of clothing or an image of the person who owes the debt
    A scrap of paper
    Black thread (whole spool)
    Black candles 
    Controlling oil 

    Best done on a Tuesday or Saturday.

    On your scrap of paper write the target's full name on one side, and on the reverse write "Devils torment you until you pay me all you owe" on the other side. Wrap the scrap of worn (NOT WASHED) clothing around this, OR if using an image, with the image side facing in and the blank side facing out, wrap the image around this. Now using your thread, wrap this with the entire spool of thread. If that is a ridiculous amount of thread, maybe go get a smaller spool. 😛 As you wrap this with the spool of thread, see your target tormented and sleepless and worried, as you say "(Full name of target,) you promised me you would return (amount) owed to me, and yet I have nothing in my wallet where that money should be, so devils torment you until you pay it in full to me," and keep repeating this until you've wrapped it in that whole spool, then secure the thread by tying a knot, and as you tie the knot, say "as is my will, so it be." 

    Place this into your jar, and then place the police station dirt on top of it (also inside the jar,) and say "The police torment you until you repay me." Now place the court or jail dirt in, and say "Judges and juries torment you until you repay me," now place the thief's dirt into it and say "and may name of thief/or "the spirit of (name of thief)" torment you until he/she steals it back and gives it to me or you repay me!" Now put in about a tablespoon or two of red pepper and say "The fire burns you and your mind torments you until you repay me!" Stir this around – I use those free chopsticks from a noodle place but you can use whatever you have so long as you don't intend on eating with it ever again if it's a utensil, – and as you stir say "(Full name of target,) devils torment you and you have no rest nor any peace until you repay me what you owe me" – and say that NINE TIMES (just from Full name, devils torment, etc. not the whole jar chant,) and after the ninth time as you cap the jar and say "as is my will, so it be!"

    Shake the jar up with NINE shakes, then place this on an altar you use ONLY for curse type work.  If you don't have a cursing altar, then work this on a surface which you never ever use for spellcasting.  

    Now anoint a black candle with controlling oil and roll this in some of that red pepper, and, keeping the mental image of your target in your mind's eye, light the candle, secure it to the lid of the jar and say: "(Full name of target), the police, judges, juries, thieves, and devils all pursue you and torment you, giving you no peace nor rest until you repay (amount owed) to me! As is my will, so it be!" and let the candle burn out. Burn a candle once a week on this jar (or three times a week, being Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday,) until the debt is paid. 

    When you no longer need the jar, open the lid and dump the dirt out away from your home. I recommend throwing the jar out in a public trash bin.

    Happy Hexing!! :) 

    ~Cat

    *People are going to say to me "Cat, how the fuck do I know who's a thief? For fuck's sake, what do I look like? Some sort of historian?" And you'd be right to think like that, because of course it's not always easy to know those things. Instead, if you know a thief, and you don't like graveyards because you are scared of awesome dead people like some of you are (and there's lots of awesome people buried in graveyards who are much more helpful in death, but I get that many of you are squeamish,) then get dirt from the foot track or the yard of someone you know to be a big stinky thief. We all know these people. Like they'd steal the dentures right out of their own grandmomma's mouth. Go get dirt from there instead. They aren't dead but they still have thief energy so it works. 

     

     

     

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me: December 2022 Edition

    Hey Occulties,

    Stuck at my once a week retail side hustle and since it's incredibly slow die to the storm, I had time to make you this. 🙂

    Q: Can I bless and curse someone simultaneously?

    A: Possibly. It depends on whether one is going to contradict the other. If I curse someone to have their relationship break up, and then simultaneously cast reconciliation magic on the target couple, I would basically be working against myself. If I want my coworker to get fired and I curse them to get fired, then work magic to get this person a job ANYWHERE BUT where I work, I am actually, if I do this right, not causing a situation where one spell counteracts the other. It can take a bit of maneuvering but I can both cause misfortune and good fortune to a target simultaneously without one spell negatively impacting the other. Just keep in mind that if you are doing something like causing someone emotional distress intentionally (as some spells use this as a trigger,) that healing work done simultaneously may cause the first spell to be less effective. 

    Q: Do I need to do "maintenance work" on a situation for the rest of my natural life?

    A: Well, that depends on the situation we are working on. Let's first remember that some situations are what I term "evolving," and some are "set." So by this I mean, my financial situation as a whole is a constantly evolving thing. This may be somewhat less so for someone with a fixed paycheck, but still holds true for most of us. We all have better and worse financial years. So this is an evolving situation, and one singular money spell is likely to impact your financial situation only for about 2-3 months. HOWEVER, a "set" situation involving money might be getting a job. If I want a specific job and use magic to get it, once I get the job, so long as I show up to work and do my best at this job, I should not have to be concerned that the spell will wane as it has done what I wanted it to do – it got me the job. I should not be concerned about needing to do more work on the situation unless I want a promotion or a different job. 

    So if I do maintenance work on a money situation, this is generally done to keep money flowing into me either via more sales (so if you make your living "per sale," this is something you would want to continually do,) or from other sources like people owe me money or I find money in the street, etc. I would not need to do maintenance work to keep my job (unless I really mess up at my job, or even the company is having a lot of lay offs, etc.) 

    Our love lives can be both "set" and "evolving," so that depends on how our situations as a whole are. If my partner is attentive and loving and I have no problems in the relationship, I don't necessarily need to do anything. If we suffered a break or are arguing, I might use love work until the situation rights itself. BUT, once I am happy with my relationship, then I do not require maintenance work, although there is a fair share of those who work it anyhow.

    So, if you're asking this question because magic ain't cheap (to do on your own or have another do,) the answer is you don't NEED TO DO maintenance work on a situation you've had work done on if you are happy with the result, but some people do this kind of work as sort of a method of preventative care in their life or to maintain the strength of a particular blessing (like increased sales.) 

    Q: Does the spiritual body have DNA like the physical body?

    A: Well, I mean, clearly it can't have physical DNA, but I would say that everyone's spirit does seem to have a unique signature all of its own which is likely the equivalent of spiritual DNA. Furthermore as I discussed in a previous post, it does seem we can inherit conditions from our physical ancestors in our spirit body, which tells me there is something to the idea that it works similarly like our genes might give us Mom's nose, or Grandpa's green eyes. 

    The spiritual body is very much like the physical body and follows similar rules thereto in many ways.

    Q: You know your advice sometimes is just dating advice – so maybe that's why love spells work?

    A: You'd be right to understand that the biggest hurdle in social-based spells is a low social IQ or a very panicked person, so it definitely helps them a lot. The amount of time I have to explain in a given week that you give someone space when they ask for space, or that not everyone likes he same "remedy" for the same "ailment" (in other words if I feel upset or angry leave me the fuck alone whereas other people want to be waited on and/or cuddled,) that you can't annoy someone into loving you, constantly controlling partners are unmanageably insecure and generally feel they own people rather than love them etc is not a small number. Many people – even socially skilled people – get nervous and panicky and this advice is quite helpful to prevent little social blunders and speed manifestation.

    I understand the tone of sarcasm and doubt, especially if you are in an emotionally secure environment and not a panicked or desperate headspace. However I have had several clients, friends, readers, and even moments for myself where I read some of those articles when I am hurt and panicky and the advice helps ME, and I'm the author. It's quite alright to need a little advice if you're feeling cornered or upset or just not having a good day.

    So yeah, that love advice really helps the love spells but if you don't use it, they often do just fine as is…unless (as I am known to say,) you chase your target down the street with an axe (or more realistically do something shitty like steal from them, etc.) as you still have to work with the spell not against it.

    Q: I know you say that fast results can be tenuous results but is that always true?

    A: No, but often and since this is most often said to me by very panicked upset broken hearted people who aren't reasonably thinking, I have to say that a few weeks for some of them to calm down might be better just on its own. I've sent people away saying I could not help THIS MONTH merely as they weren't ready, and most who came back thanked me and said I was right that they needed that because they took the month to straighten their head out a bit and feel much better.

    If you WANT it now, that is one thing. If you NEED it to survive (and love is not going to fall under this, though it can feel like that,) like you need to pay rent or eat, that is another. So if you just WANT it right this second, then perhaps you should wisely allow the spellwork to take the time it needs to give you a lasting result. If you'll be on the street in 3 days if you don't pay the landlord, then you go use the stuff that's always fast. 

    The spell takes the time it needs to manifest. If it was close to happening on it's own, or it was not far out of the grasp and well within the petitioner or practitioner's sphere of availability or if the target is exceptionally suggestive, it won't take very long at all usually.

    And for the twenty zillionth time, STOP WORRYING THE WORK TO DEATH. I'd like it if it was normal for most spells to manifest in 48 hours or less, too, but more because the inability of some of you to understand that's not actually average or expected for a manifestation window, and that nagging me has no positive effects (it just pisses me off, and the spell doesn't care since it's not ME, it's a spell,) nor will it speed up your results. Fantasizing, worrying about the problem or people involved, trying to figure out how it might manifest or just hovering over your intended's social media are all forms of this.

    Q: Illustrate even one "Don't pick a fight you can't win" magic battles ever! That crap is from comic books, isn't it?

    A: No. I'll give you three. A man I worked for once was very rude to a reader, and told her off. He'd lost money in the past and I guess was just full of himself, but even I chided him for being rude. Within a week no one could stand him. I couldn't stand him. His own mom couldn't stand him. Everyone just could not stand being around him. I don't know what curse that woman put on him, but it took three weeks to take off, and I assure you, unless things have changed, he learned his lesson to not be so rude to someone who might practice again. He wasn't physically harmed, mind you, but being in his presence was like having someone scrape their fingernails down a chalkboard non stop. Every time he was around you, you just found him beyond irritating to the point of wanting to yell at him or get away from him as long as he was away. I still want that curse because it was a doozy…but not as bad as the next.

    There's a VERY STUPID TREND of using cord cutting to do a break up. It's not a new idea, it's just not one I'd suggest for many reasons. I've never been a fan of this kind of work as it is not even really a great idea if you're one half of the couple outside of a NECESSITY (the bonds of love that tie us are not meant to be severed any more than you are told to chop roots off a plant for its health,) and I mean…abusive situations, and so forth. It's overused. BUT, if you're a "third party" when used to break up a couple, you better be sure neither person in the couple knows magic. One of several of these stories is that a chick had fallen for a guy at her workplace, and she had some Etsy person do a cord cutting between either his wife or long term girlfriend (he's partner of a long while) because he'd been flirting and fooling around with her. Well, his wife/partner/girlfriend just so happened to practice (Bruja or Santeria,) and so she immediately noticed. The girl got pregnant but the affair didn't work out. He kept going back to his wife/partner/girlfriend, so she just assumed spells didn't work (all spells). When the baby was born, it caught itself on the umbilical cord during delivery and died from asphixiation. She never told her lover about the spells she'd done of course, and she never had met the wife/long-term, but she received sympathy flowers from a few people and one had a card from the wife (or she suspects as there was only an initial and it was of the woman's first name as the signature,) that read "Guess you cut the wrong cord." She came to me asking if I'd go after the wife, but given the situation (she did try to break up their household,) and the fact that wifey was clearly a badass, I told her that outright cursing was basically asking for worse, and asking for justice when she was the one who attacked first probably wouldn't bring results. I believe she ultimately gave up going after the woman she tried to displace. That's some pretty stone cold fucking revenge for cutting a cord that wasn't hers to cut, so I can understand why. 

    And lastly, there was a fellow I heard of who was threatening a practitioner's kid and picking specifically on the kid as a parent of a little clique. He was just a loud mouth asshole guy yelling horrible things at adolescent kids and making huge threats, but it got to the point that the spellcaster (who I think was in the provervbial broom closet,) got sick of it because his kid was coming home in tears on the regular, and the last straw was the guy had physically grabbed his child by the shirt collar and terrified the kid. Knowing the man to have some addiction issues in the past, he began to bring those urges back, while also knowing the man had some PTSD from some sort of crazy vehicular accident in his youth, he found an image of one of the people who had died in the accident and made some sort of being (like an eregore) that looked like the dead person to follow this man around and to only be visible to him. Lastly, he asked me about a pepper curse I know (which is why I know the story,) and did that. Within a few months, the man was in a mental hospital, and I can't substantiate this but I'm told he's dead a few years later having immediately intentionally overdosed on pills shortly after getting out of the hospital. 

    Dear readers, I'm not trying to scare you. Those stories range from light smacks to literally people dying, so magic isn't just a toy to play with, or a consequence-free way of getting your every desire. It may not be that you will suffer "bad karma," because the biggest risk is really you knock into something or someone bigger than yourself. You know like texting while driving, you never get hurt until you do. It's always been safe until it isn't. So, like anything else, you need to exercise caution because if you're not prepared to handle a woman or man who feels you insulted them to the point you need to learn a lesson, or that you outright threatened them or someone they love to the point you might not even have a right to exist anymore, then when I say  be judicious in spells cast on other people, please understand, I say this not because I'm judging you for cursing someone or wanting their hot body as much as…at some point you might run into someone meaner than yourself, so be sure you're ready if you do. 

    Q: I can't get my lover to stop cheating! Is there any way I can force their fidelity!?

    A: In theory, but…like I've said before, it this person can't keep it in their pants, – that is to say, they have always been incapable of fidelity, and not just with you – you are more likely to cause them physical injury than keep them sexually faithful, at least for any long term. If that's a deal breaker, you should not stay with them. When you love someone, you have to love them entirely, and that means accepting the bad parts, too. You can't change someone's nature…they just fight it. It's like just because you can put a dry land suit on a fish doesn't mean it will ever enjoy living on land like we do, or if you put on a diving suit that doesn't give you all the powers of a fish…it is your nature to be a land creature and it's nature to live in the sea. Even if you fed a bunny nothing but meat (if you didn't kill the poor thing,) it isn't going to become a carnivore, anymore than a tiger will be vegetarian. So while you may get a person to change a bit, the reality is you aren't going to to make something that is instinctive and normal to them suddenly stop. If you can't take the cheating (and no one blames you if you can't,) find a less sexually promiscuous partner, and let that one go. 

    Hope that was educational! :) 

    ~Cat

     

  • Quick Post about Holiday Hours/Prices and Manifestation during the Holidays

    Hey occulties,

    Please keep in mind that the holidays are a tricky time. Bemoaning "lack of results" might merely be that your target is reacting to the holidays by being stressed or withdrawing. It can speed results as well, but, as a woman who likes not having to repeat myself, the reverse can be true, too. So if you're complaining on the lack of results when you wanted this s*** to manifest last week, damnit, keep in mind that timeframes are going to be wonky until the first of the year or so.

    And that goes with money and job spells too. A lot of people do not hire someone until the New Year, a lot of funds coming to you may surface as presents, and bonuses, or may also happen IN THE NEW TAX YEAR. 

    So, if you're experiencing a bit of a delay on manifestation (I'll admit that rare is it I hear kvetching about fast results, ha ha,) please keep in mind, the holidays are famous for creating a bit of a drag and pull on manifestations just like they are disruptive to our mundane lives too.

    Next – while I've been generous with the discounts during the holidays, because I understand it's an expensive time, please keep in mind, it's also hectic and expensive for me, as well. So, the ten percent pay now discount will end immediately after Christmas. All those nice low priced readings go back to normal cost. If you drag me on anything (meaning you draw out a consultation intentionally to wait to pay,) do not expect a discount. I've been doing this for 20 years and it's quite obvious to me. As we don't plan on leaving to visit family this year (we really can't if we wanted to), I will be off on Christmas Day, but should be MOSTLY AVAILABLE on my regular business hours throughout any other day in December. I am currently not available on Fridays for readings until the first of the year. This means there is very little required of you to dance around my regular business hours. WHAT IS REQUIRED is to please understand I also have postage deadlines, hungry birds, and a household to support, so kindly remember there are no free services, be expedient with payments and minimize the using me as a free therapist on a frequent basis this month if at all possible. ;) 

    AND REMEMBER ALL PRICES RETURN TO NORMAL AFTER CHRISTMAS…however, if you read this far, from Friday Dec 9-til the end of Sunday December 11, you can get a free half hour reading with any 7-day spellcasting purchase (and get ten percent off of the price with that pay now discount,) so please contact me ASAP if interested 🙂

    ~Cat

  • The “Spiritual Body” (sometimes called the “Etheric Body”)

    Hello my dear occulties,

    Today I'd like to discuss a topic which has come up frequently in the last few weeks betwixt myself and many different people (many of which have no contact with each other, so I take this as a sign discuss this with my dearest readers.)

    Now, let's start with stating the obvious, – if you are reading this, you are probably sitting in a machine made of meat and bone and fat, and that thing is called your body. If you are like most (if not all) incarnate (has a body) creatures, you value this meat machine very dearly as it is what keeps you functioning and alive on this plane. You experience physical sensations of pain when you damage it, or overextend it, senses of pleasure when you feed it, or nourish it in any way, or try to reproduce (even with yourself lol) with it. This is because this wonderful machine that your life force (or what you may term your spirit, or your soul,) has been created to ensure you treat it as well as possible so it might run as long as possible (otherwise known as it avoids becoming no longer operable, which means you die when that happens,) and because this machine requires you to help it replicate itself, it is also very good at trying to get you to make more of these machines. So, we all agree that we have a physical body and presumably many of us understand it's basic functions exist to help it stay working as long as possible, while also trying to get us to make more of these bodies for other beings like ourselves to continue on our line. 

    Your body may be faulted or have some defects from birth. There are so many of these, that I can't list all of them. This does not mean that your physical body does not attempt in some way to still run. It's a machine, and missing a few "gears" or "screws" is something it still very much wants to try to overcome. You body may have suffered serious damages – maybe you lost an eye or a leg or an ear. It still wants to run as long as it can, so this does not mean it does not mostly function (and you may even have "phantom pains" sensing the lost part for those missing a body part,) which again, most of my readers would agree this is how this works. Maybe you have had some malfunctions which are comparable to a bug in your program. You have an immunodeficiency that causes you issues, or a cancer, or many other issues which start because something caused the "programming" in your machine to malfunction, and this causes you issues which can range from things you can't detect, to actually completely destroying your body and making it inoperable. Maybe you were born with your "programming" having this malfunction, or perhaps it came after your creation. You may even just have inherited better or worse "versions" of necessary hardware or software – everyone in your family needs reading glasses by age 20, or you all have really short legs, or like me, you don't tan, just burn. Perhaps you are even worried that because you have a particular family issue, that you will make children with the same issue, or because you were exposed to something that your offspring will be in some way handicapped and science has proven there is a good chance of it, so you avoid reproducing to avoid giving your offspring this weakness, ergo ensuring more "perfect human machines" continue on, even if not of your line. 

    Again, we understand that bodies are different, that some age better or worse, or have a higher probability of coming down with a condition and that some people are born disabled, etc. So taking all of this knowledge in, I want you to understand…you also have very similar benefits and issues with your SPIRITUAL BODY. 

    Let us not confuse the spiritual body with an aura. They can look very similar, but your aura is in part the "glow" of your meat machine working. So while the spiritual body can sometimes be seen with the aura, there are people (as scary as this is,) basically walking around with a dead spirit body. That is contested, but I insist it is so. 

    Let me explain that in a bit.

    Your spirit body looks very much like you. In fact it may look just like you. It may look like an older or younger version of you. If you have lost a limb, your spirit body generally still has that limb. If you are beset with a disfiguring condition, it may appear as you without this condition, and if you are at the peak of your beauty, it may look like a disfigured version of you. Why? The spirit body has its own health and its own needs. It very much can and does affect your physical body, just as your physical body can have an effect on it. It can heal faster and easier at times than the physical body, and vice versa. 

    Think of the story of Dorian Grey. If you are unfamiliar with this story, Dorian Grey is a lovely young man who has a portrait done of him at the peak of his beauty. Then Dorian gives into every gross urge of lust and anger and murder and cruelty and for decades – every vice imaginable! But his form never ages a day while the Dorian in the portrait ages terribly with every sin. He hides the portrait away of course, but in the end it is found and destroyed and the physical Dorian becomes the monster in the picture and then himself dies as I remember. This story, written by Oscar Wilde is a good parable about the spiritual body (which the portrait represents) and the physical body wrapped up in a "scary story" for the masses. 

    Please understand, I am a believer that many of our ideas of "proper behavior" are rooted in the times we live in more than what is moral or immoral to the spirit. So if you're wearing pasties and a g string out on the town tonight, I don't know as I believe that has any bearing on your spiritual health although there are people who will think you're an immoral strumpet and trash and all that. You were born naked and I have no belief that clothing has any bearing on the health of your spirit or else you'd be born in clothing. 

    Instead think more like…if you kill someone for fun – not to defend yourself – this is a senseless awful thing which not only harms the species by your destruction of one of our valuable meat machines, but also harms our line as a whole as the spiritual body is quite connected and needs (on our end of things – you may or may not believe that a higher power exists, but for me, I believe God to be the creator of souls,) the couplings that physical body may have made to attach new spirit bodies (or existing ones if you believe in reincarnation) to, and that means you are also committing the same crime on the spiritual plane. The being does not necessarily cease to exist spiritually (again this is all religious/spiritual beliefs that may vary,) but you have stolen from it the option of making more of itself. This crime – killing another being for fun, – may, therefore, affect the health of your spiritual body. It most likely does cause it a fair amount of harm, especially when what you have killed purely for enjoyment is a member of your own species. 

    "But, Cat," you interject, "Only someone with horrible psychological problems does such a thing." Correct! But of course some of those problems are caused by illness in the spirit body, – some inherited through abuse, some inherited by bad actions of the parents, and sometimes acquired through smaller and lesser harmful actions to the spiritual body, much like a bad habit may endanger and even kill the physical body. 

    Have you ever heard the term "sins of the father" – sometimes called "original sin"? This is an interesting thing…basically, it's supposed to mean that I still carry the sin of my parents bumping uglies at birth. Ha! Sex makes babies so sex itself is not really a sin! Both your physical and spirit bodies want to make more of you even if it's not physically possible (for example, a same sex union of cis-gendered people – at least at this writing, – cannot produce a child made from both parents.) However – am I conceived by betrayal? I am not, but for example a woman seeking to end another woman's marriage by taking her husband would have now passed on a spiritual debit to a child born of this union. It's like the spirit equivalent of that mother drinking a gallon of whiskey a day or something. And people can and will get mad at me for saying that, but then they will be people who did that who say it and of course the truth hurts. 😛 This is why when you come to me with break up stuff and all that I always want to check to see if the couple you want broken up is or isn't married (which has zero to do with legally married, as your spirit gives not one fuck about the laws of man,) because if a couple is spiritually married, you are asking something which can cause great harm to yourself as well as any offspring. If you didn't know that your partner was married or even with another, then you would be innocent and the spiritual body receives little or no damage, though, interestingly enough, ergo making the offspring safe from damage. It's amazingly complex and that's just one of many "moral" actions which effect the spiritual body. Each of these is its own topic entirely…and just as biology is sexist and only those of us born with a working uterus get monthly cramps and bleeding similarly there are even issues which only the male or female spiritual body are affected by. 

    Now I'm sure a few of my readers are already having meltdowns and if so, please excuse yourselves from reading further. 😉 The topic of the spiritual body is, in fact, one I've researched and spoken of with people of many spiritual and religious backgrounds, so I have a passion for the topic. Just because you did something that you realize probably got you down with the spiritual sickness, or you just had some religious background that scared you into thinking maybe you did, that's your issue, not ours. I repeat again that much of what our society calls moral or immoral has more to do with culture than with your spiritual health so there is a good chance what is sinful according to a specific religion's teaching really is not bad for your spiritual health. Relax.

    Because there are also spiritual conditions that come on you that cause damage to your spiritual body which are more than likely not your fault at all…nor that of your parents, nor their parents etc. Like depression. This affects both physical you, and spiritual you. This isn't some sort of divine retribution for wrongdoing any time you come down with one of these conditions. However, treating this condition – both physically and spiritually, can permanently change your spiritual health in very positive ways. 

    The best thing for all of us to keep in mind is that the spiritual body is important and has its own health and needs just like our meat machine. So just like if I live off of Doritos for my whole life and eat nothing else then I won't likely live long, so is it that if you do not treat your spiritual body with care, it can also deplete and even die off from too many abuses. It also thrives when we treat it kindly and nourish it…but just like the physical body, we cannot repel all damage just from treating the spiritual body as well as possible. AND always keep in mind that the spirit body and physical body are very tightly linked and if one is sick, the other often can follow and become sick as well. 

    How do we nourish our spiritual body? Well…again, this will sound a bit like dogma but loyalty, and kindness, and helping others, and charity, and all that goody-two-shoes stuff helps. Prayer or recognition of your own blessings if you do not pray, thankfulness and gratitude nourish us. Loving others and being loved can be very nourishing, while losing our loved ones to death or disaster can harm us dearly. Our spiritual bodies connect to others – to our families (which can be – but is not always – parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and of course our children,) or those we truly and deeply love (our partner, our best friend, etc,) which is why there is a pain that always remains when we lose them. If you truly and deeply love anything then you know when it is lost, you never 100% get over it. This is why grief over loss of of a loved one sometimes never ever goes away. It causes the same damage as losing a limb causes to your physical body. You can randomly experience pain like "phantom limb pain" as your spirit body looks for the connection for the rest of your life. But, while that sounds scary, the gift of the love bond itself nourishes your spirit body greatly. So…love both makes us stronger and gives us a wound to our spirit body. 

    Even joy and satisfaction nourish us. So healthy food for your spirit body abounds. 

    But that which will mortally wound and permanently disfigure, or cause long term damage to your spiritual body is also around you. And yes, that's a thing. You can expose yourself to things so negative they can have consequences which impact your offspring for a few generations which we are proving via science this happens to our physical bodies too. For example, those people who survived the prison camps in World War 2 have offspring who displayed a genetic mutation with metabolism from the starvation and stress of the parents in the prison camps, and even the grandchildren of these people have show the SAME MUTATION. My personal belief is that just as we have a physical DNA, so does our spiritual body have some form of DNA. So like probably everyone reading this, I may very well have some natural, inherited spiritual body defects and benefits because my ancestors gave me this gene spiritually. Again, the idea of "sins of the father" affecting the child holds. 

    Keep in mind, this inherited damage may also not be a choice. Just as you may be killed in a vehicular accident wherein no driver involved had any intention to harm, nor was anyone operating their vehicle while intoxicated or while knowing it had known malfunctions (including yourself, of course), so can you accrue damages which are neither your fault nor deserved. The same is true of beneficial conditions. Perhaps you did nothing to "deserve" the boon to your spiritual health, and yet you were fortunate to receive. 

    And what of magic? Well, you know I'm not the karma police. I'm not here to tell you no. I'm not here to tell you yes either. In fact, if I'd punch you right in the face without a shred of guilt to my conscience, I'd probably curse you just as quick and without guilt. Does that make me spiritually diseased? My experience is that most spellcasters who successfully curse do so because the target is a piece of fucking shit. The target is not just asking for it, they are antagonizing the spellcaster or harming someone or something that he or she loves. The spellcaster isn't splitting up a marriage to steal away the partner for selfish gains. The spellcaster is not harming innocents. They are not just doing it to feel powerful. It's much more comparable to having a neighbor who keeps slapping your kid for just playing in your own yard, and punching that neighbor for the attacks on your child than trying to harm someone to steal something from them or to make yourself more powerful. So if you accrue damage spiritually from cursing, you are much more like to have done so because your actions are wholly selfish or unjust. 

    And what if you were born to awful people? Is that your fault? Nope, that goes back to sins of the father. If your parents both come from a long line of bullshit people and conceived you into that line of DNA, what results might be compared to a physical deformity or unhealthy body or a disability of grand proportions despite you looking physically just fine. If you were given a decrepit spiritual body, you can nourish it and strengthen it, but yes, you may have a much harder time than some of your peers. It means you have to work extra hard. And the real kick in the butt is that you don't deserve that, and it may make you bitter, which in turn will warp that spiritual body – your bitterness is a poison to it. 

    I'm just touching on this but I hope it's gotten some of you thinking. See, when a lot of you worry about "karma" (which has nothing to do with that which you do in this life effects you in this same life like some of you believe,) what you should worry about is "will this affect my spiritual health?" (which some of you mean but wrongly understand.) The answers are often that, at worst, it might give it a bruise that will heal rapidly but there are situations where you really may hurt yourself or possibly even generations of your line. So, I think this is a good topic to get people really thinking of the impact of their actions. 

    And it's also a good thing – you might be able to heal damage to yourself and help your physical body heal faster (they constantly impact each other,) by merely understanding more about your spiritual body's health. 

    Now I did mention above that I would discuss a very odd thing that can happen. Your spiritual body can – from what I can tell, – die with your physical body not dying. I'd swear I've even seen a few people with it. It's as if they "have no soul." I can think of one person in particular that I'd bet you money this person has no soul and yet physically they look rather healthy. Their actions bespeak a person who could not retain a spirit body. They come from a long line of people who spiritually are garbage from the history I know of them (it's not anyone widely known). I've never met another worker who when shown this person's image wasn't physically revolted, (and while not an attractive person, they are not so physically ugly as to cause revulsion), and so people with spiritual training are literally reacting as many of us do when we see maggots eating a corpse…which tells me they are spiritually revolting…if not just spiritually dead, this person is spiritually a gangrenous leper. And yet, while not an attractive person by any stretch of the imagination, still physically healthy with said unattractiveness not arising from physical illness of any kind. So, what exactly is this person? If the spirit is dead how then does the meat machine yet function and they remain intelligent enough to speak because the brain hasn't rotten…it even reasons… And there is more than one of these on the world. I don't know the singular dead alive thing in this world, and would tell you this isn't even likely as uncommon as you'd like to think. Serial killers are probably these things. A few seemingly nice normal people? They are these things. I don't know exactly what they are as it makes no sense that they physically live, but my best guess is they are a bit like malignant disincarnate spirits. Much like disincarnate spirits (malignant, beneficial, or neither bad nor good,) have greater power in the spiritual world than many of us physical beings can expect to have but have no or little physical power (so many have a hard time moving a light or small physical object,) so do these creatures seem to possess very little power spiritually and yet tend to give suffering to those they claim to care about the most – so they are not powerless. They may also possess great physical strength but they are very destructive creatures even if physically weak. They attack those closest to them, they isolate them, and try to survive off of them. My guess is that they are spiritual vampires of sorts and the physical body continues to survive by them draining and perverting the spiritual energy of those who they claim to "love." They are incapable of love judging from my observation of the handful I've come across, but they call possessiveness love. They really are repugnant and I've seen more than one albeit there is one which I've seen the most up close, and it's proven every theory I've had of their kind. So, if you find one of these, do not make friends. They seem rather charming at first. Much like any predatory thing, the charm is so it can feed. You soon realize it's a spiritual vacuum, but often too late and after it has taken so much of your spiritual health and energy. Maybe it even has you convinced you can't survive without it. You'll thrive without it.

    You can laugh at that, but I've had a small share of clients who endured a relationship with one of these. They are not psychic vampires – that's someone who is just draining – they are something else entirely. BUT do not fear…they lack a spiritual body (or if they have one, it is so damaged and small as to be undetectable,) so if they are not feeding they are easily bested as they can't do magic without a healthy amount of spiritual energy, and even if currently acting parasitic on another is giving them some energy, their energy isn't their own and doesn't properly transmute, meaning….their magic sucks on it's best days and often blows up in their face. 😀 I am sure I will get some emails from people worried that they are these things… Look, they are rare. It's unlikely. If you've been a good person and have avoided obviously deeply immoral or hurtful actions (so you don't kill for pleasure, or break up happy homes, or hurt children or the weak or small animals because you're bored,) it's very unlikely. But yeah, I also find it scary that something spiritually dead can be physically alive, especially when in most people if they are very spiritually damaged, the physical body soon breaks down as well. It is scary, but all fictional monsters were borne from the real ones, so just avoid one of these things if you suspect you've come across one. You'll be fine.

    Anyhow, that's enough on this topic for today. I will try to post a new spell article soon! 

    ~Cat

  • Done Moving!

    Hey everyone,

    I’ve completed the moving process as of last night. Readings, consultations, spells and everything are all back to their regular availability and prices! 

    ~Cat