Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • Things Experienced Spellcasters Don’t Seem to Discuss

    Hey occulties,

    It seems to me that as many. of my peers and I become older, there is a section that wants to behave like these sage old hippie types…which I guess is predictable but always comes off as a bit douchey to me, which the amusing part is not a single one of them were ever cool and tend to be the extra nerdy ones of our youth – the airy fairy nonsense ones (many of which were the hippie type people in youth), and then the ones like me who are the cranky old ones that say "you damn kids," a bit too much and are sick of repeating ourselves, damnit. Thing is, out of that group, the people who don't just want to blow sunshine and encouragement up your ass are often the people who are also most able to teach you since the first group is putting on something of an act, and the second is composed of some very air headed people. So, while I hate repeating myself, I do like pointing out shitty things that other people won't and I can therefore be of some use at educating you today. 

    Like, did you know that…

    People often fail at learning spellcasting because it takes a lot of practice and dedication and research in a field where publishers have knowingly published completely fabricated books based on absolutely no tradition or with false history. This means there is an actual point in your spellcasting education where you realize that at least half of what you learned from varying sources is complete bullshit. This is, in fact, a huge milestone and means you're starting to be advanced skill level. To make this even more irritating, almost everyone around you continues to be absolutely ridiculously and willfully ignorant (or at least it feels that way.) So basically you spend years learning and reading and educating yourself, only for a large portion of that to be entirely false, and when the epiphany hits you WILL find yourself disgusted with people and yourself, but that's a good thing, because now you aren't an idiot…but it doesn't feel good. I actually get excited when students and readers come to me and they've had this moment, and they are so disappointed and I' like "Aw, you broke your cherry!" However, when people learn this (should they do so before they reach this point,) some get frustrated and give up on learning at all. And it takes years to be good at it. Not you read a book once, or cast a few spells. I mean years of regular practice. THEN you hit that point where you realize a bunch of what you learned was absolute garbage. 

    People who are bargain shopping for spells more often than not are going to fail at achieving their goals. It's surprising how many people have told me that the person they love most in the world isn't worth even $100, or that getting passing marks on a difficult course is not worth that amount either. I understand not wanting to invest money but if you can only part with $30 for the thing you want most in the world, then you don't want it very much and the most like to take the money and run are often the too low priced or the ridiculously super high priced. If its going to cost tens of thousands of dollars, that person also just wants your money. 

    Love spells do not change someone's personality. If you complain that someone loves you but doesn't love you in the way you want to be loved, you need to understand that this means they are never going to love you how you need to be loved. Of course, you're equating the way you love people and understand love as being as how everyone works and this is very untrue. For example, I find a lot of physical affection and frequent cuddling absolutely awful. It makes me claustrophobic. No amount of spellwork you put on me will make me suddenly love cuddling for the rest of my life, and if you need a lot of that, I'd be a terrible match for you, and not for a lack of love but because I do not like being cuddly and I resent it and feel smothered if it's done a lot. So consider things like communication, physical affection, religious/political beliefs, taste in food, taste in clothing, etc…little things that can still irritate you, and if that person is not naturally inclined to any one of these little things you need, then just using a love spell will make them love you more, not do things like suddenly not be a slob, or suddenly really love exercise.

    You won't be successful with money spells if you expect a windfall of money. It's hugely unlikely. People really think if they spend $20 that they will get some huge lottery win, when first off, that's a gambling spell, and secondly, if you spend $3 on a ticket and make $21 on that particular ticket (I didn't mean $3 total, just per ticket,) you already got 7x return on your investment which is a pretty big windfall for your investment. 😛 So maybe go with doing some job spells and getting paid more. But everyone thinks it's a get rich quick scheme. 

    Being a good person doesn't make your spellwork stronger, nor does being a bad person make it weaker. Being a selfish asshat doesn't make you bad at spells. Being a complete cunt won't prevent success unless you're being a cunt to a reconciliation or love target, or telling off the interviewer for the job you cast a spell for. Your niceness and your ethics do not negate skill and intellect. This is the most stupid idea ever that they do and is only said to reassure people that others would never use magic for foul purposes…which people will use whatever tools are available to them that they can use, and their ability to wield these tools has zero to do with their ethics, so of course they will use spellwork to do bad or good or just whatever they need it for. 

    If you're desperate or petulant, you're probably going to experience spell failure thanks to lust for results. The sad thing is, the more you fail, the more desperate and whiny and anxious you'll become which merely serves to elevate the likelihood for failure. This is why I tell people to cast a spell for something you don't care that much about – you'll forget you did it and then when it manifests, it will spring to mind that you'd spellcasted for that and it will help with this lack of faith and desperation and anxious and morose attitude that is death to spells, thereby increasing your chances of success. If you know the exact amount of weeks or days since you cast the spell and it was over 2 weeks ago, you definitely have lust for results.

    The annoying "is this permanent" question fails to understand life is evolving all the time. So even if you overcome your problem with spellwork, it doesn't permanently prevent the problem from becoming a problem again, and if you keep making the same mistakes, it likely will be a problem again.v That isn't the spell's fault. It's yours.

    Spells don't care if you didn't mean to do something or did something in a moment of weakness anymore than a falling boulder cares that you didn't mean to walk under it just at the exact time for it to fall on you. Stop making excuses to yourself and/or your caster since it doesn't matter how you felt or why you did something, just that you did something that would harm your spell. 

    Even the best and most perfectly made tool or spellcasting item won't overcome inexperience or inability to cast spells. 

    If you expect spells to fix anything in under 36 hours you should probably neither attempt to hire a worker nor learn spellcasting. Results are rarely instant. 

    There, now that I've done my job bursting some bubbles, I hope it was at least educational. 

    ~Cat

     

     

  • Spell to Draw Someone You Desire to You

    Hey Occulties, 

    Just a quick luv spell tonight. For those new to spellcasting, please do not expect instant results, avoid lust for results, and do not act against your spell by being rude, fighting with the target, or acting crazy and/or off-putting. Desperation and throwing yourself at your target are both off-putting. And as always, you should know the target more than just "in passing," but actually be personally acquainted with them.

    Alrighty, let's get on with it then. 😉

    You will need:
    A figural candle corresponding to the genitalia of the desired target (penis or vulva candle,) 
    A figural candle corresponding to the genitalia of the petitioner (or yourself if you are casting the spell for yourself,)
    A personal item (hair, nail clipping, spit on a napkin, etc,) from your target
    A personal item from your petitioner,
    A red ribbon or cord,
    A purple ribbon or cord,
    A pink ribbon or cord
    Honey
    Sugar
    Licorice root
    Rose petals (red or pink) 
    Love Drawing oil
    Come to Me oil
    Follow me Girl/Follow me Boy (hetero ladies and gay gents use Follow Me Boy, hetero gents and gay ladies use Follow Me Girl, and if you're seeking a trans target, please use the formula for the gender your target identifies as,)
    A large heatproof container like a roasting pan (not the disposable kind,)
    OPTIONAL- Sand to place the candles upon in your container for added fire safety

    Take your red cord, and anoint this with Come to Me oil, anoint your pink cord with Love Drawing Oil, and your purple cord with Follow me Boy/Girl oil. Using this method, place your personal items corresponding to the proper party into the proper candles. Carve the initials or name of each person onto the candle representing that person. Anoint both candles UP (base to wick) with all three oils, and place these into your fire proof container so. that they are facing towards each other. Sprinkle sugar, rose petals, and licorice root on the candles. Take your red cord and tie it around the candles saying "I bind your sexual passion to (me/petitioner), (name of target.)" Tie your pink cord around the candles and as you do say "I bind your romantic love to (me/petitioner), (name of target.) Tie your purple cord around your candles as you say "And I bind you to follow my lead one month and a day, that you will come to me, willingly, lovingly, and desire me and me alone." Now drizzle the candles with some honey. 

    Before you light the candles, take a moment to see, in your mind's eye, the couple happy together, passionately in love and, keeping this image in your mind's eye, light both candles (starting with the target's candle, then the petitioner's candle,) and say "I draw you to me/petitioner now, this very moment, (target's name,) and this flame creates in you a burning desire for me/petitioner and me/petitioner alone. I draw you by your desire, and with this overwhelming desire, only I/petitioner can satisfy you, so you are at my/his/her beck and call. I draw you to me/petitioner this very moment, this very second! The more you try to resist this command the stronger the urge to follow my command becomes. As is my will, so be it!

    Allow the candles to burn out. When they have done so, tie the remains of the cords in a knot and keep them under your bed until the spell manifests.

    I'm sure there will be questions, so feel free to ask!

    ~Cat

    This spell is copyright originalninjacat, and I prosecute plagiarists to the fullest extent of the law. 

  • All the Big News

    Hey Occulties,

    I have a sale where you can basically save hundreds, but you must first get through my complaints to find it, ha ha. 

    March was a very, very very big month for me, and because of that, I was definitely not the easiest person to find. For starters, our storage (something I originally paid about $150 a month for not even 2 years ago, went up to $565 a month. Since we weren't living in it, we said that's way too fcking much, thanks, and we moved all the shit which had been in three separate homes (we moved a lot last year,) out of storage, and into our very small home. So, myself and Mr. NC are living in what feels like a walk in closet til we figure out how much of this crap is going to charity or in the dumpster. It's like cleaning out your basement but hilariously enough, we have storage in the basement of this house, we just have to reconfigure it all. On top of this, Mr NinjaCat had a bunch of stuff to get done/do/etc and then we both went and broke a tooth (on food, and no we don't share these broken teeth, we just both decided to crack off a filling on some food days apart from each other because we share everything even dental misery, because that's what God apparently intended,) so now we have to pay a lot of money to not look ridiculous, which of course, after moving three freaking times in about a year and having this crazy amount of sorting to do, and with all Mr NC's appointments, and my two jobs is a time clusterfuck so just don't expect me to be smiling for the next few weeks, ha ha. 

    Meanwhile, everyone and their grandma decided it was time to chit chat with me, which has been enormously difficult to schedule appointments with me (and nearly impossible to catch me without one) what with being snaggletooth, and trying to figure out where the feck am I going to put all these freaking dishes we own because we don't have space. Lucky for everyone I did find temp tooth repair stuff so I'm at least not increasing the damages and it doesn't hurt, thanks for asking. 

    That made me hella drop the ball on my contest so I've extended it to April 10. If you want in on the questions you've asked me contest, please ask your questions now. 

    But it also made it clear that I need to chat with a few of you on a few things. 1.) DO NOT INQUIRE IF I'VE DONE SOMETHING WHEN I GAVE YOU A SPECIFIC DATE I'D BE CASTING. Not only is it ANNOYING, IT IS A HUGE WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME AND CLEARLY SHOWS YOU DID NOT READ WHAT I WROTE YOU. Example – I tell you I will do something on Friday. You email me 13 times from Tuesday until Saturday to see if I've done this thing for you, when I literally said it was going to be Friday. By the time Friday comes, you've already worn out my good graces, and you don't stop. It's not that you're altering instructions, it's that you want to see if I've done a thing I told you I'd do in FOUR DAYS FROM THAT DAY. Keep in mind, I do have 63 active cases at this moment in time. That means if 63 people did that all at once, guess what? I'd just probably want to jump off a cliff. But what if it's only six people? You are still taking up the time of everyone else asking me something which is clearly not necessary as I told you I WOULD DO IT FOUR DAYS IN THE FUTURE. And A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE DOING THIS. If I give you a date, this is when I will do my work. Do not check and recheck. 2.) Asking me random questions because you're "just curious" is also somewhat obnoxious. I get that you're checking if I'm still reading your emails or I will reply. It rarely if ever has anything to do with you just being curious about what you're asking me. You're basically poking me to see if I'll reply. I legit work 70-80 hour weeks every week, so kindly do not think to add more hours to that merely to see if I'm still breathing. 

    But the next thing ain't even your fault, everyone. I am about to fully ban PayPal payments. Why? They suck so bad. I know that will negatively affect many of you and I will try to work to find you a solution. 

    Lastly, there is a MEGA GIGANTIC STORAGE CLEARANCE SALE. We DO NOT have the room to store all the stuff we took out of storage. I probably need to clear a good 20 cubic feet or more of this stuff out of here, I BS you not. So if you want deals, I may be able to help. We need to clear out space and if I realized how much of a freakin hoarder I secretly am (not so secret now, lol) when it comes to bizarre and weird ingredients, candles, and herbals, I would probably not have closed off my storage entirely, just moved to a smaller storage unit. BUT what's done is done, and now I need to clear boxes and pallets of stuff out. Plz buy spells and help. I've already been throwing out $100-$150 discounts since last week. 😀 I literally have like 921 candles (almost a thousand) when I'd thought I had far less than that and some of them are in some bizarre and awesome shapes, too. 

    So Contact Me if you need work and please wait for me to reply when you do (because I am craaaaaaazy busy with spells right now, and thank you so much for your business! I appreciate it!)

    ~Cat

     

     

  • Pruning the Garden of Bad Behaviors

    Hey Occulties,

    Sorry for the delay in announcing contest winners. I will be trying to do so this evening as I know it's been long awaited but Mr NinjaCat and I have had a pretty busy few weeks along with some very verbal clients being on the current roster simultaneously, and it's really affected my spare time to write in. I'm sorry if I've let anyone down by being delayed, but paying business and family take precedence over blog posts and contests…so it is coming shortly. This, however, is more pressing.

    Whenever my life gets hectic, it seems I don't have time to post, and I'm probably a bit too brief in replies as well which in turn creates a flood of LUST FOR RESULTS. 

    And one cause (perhaps the number one cause) is nearly always CHOOSING to constantly dwell on the problem being worked on, thus slowing your results, and if bad enough, killing them altogether.

    The other issue I get is something I might term as "dedicated self-defeatism" which is along the line of "I know this isn't helpful to this situation or to myself to engage in this behavior, but I will anyhow." A mundane comparison might be someone who complains that they can't lose weight while overeating and only eating highly processed unhealthy foods when they do eat. A related problem is "fault-projecting self-defeatism," which is always blaming someone else for your actions. So if we use our mundane example, that's comparable to someone who blames a friend for always wanting to eat at a fast food restaurant for being the sole cause of their weight issue. While someone may negatively influence the situation, you control your own response thereto. Self-defeatism is about as useful as it sounds and I'd best describe it as a form of apathy. However, it can also be on the road to lust for results, so not only are you choosing (by lack of action and/or lack of responsibility,) to remain in a place in your life which you don't wish to be, you're often causing yourself to become angry and stirred up by being "stuck" there, and then this all leads you down the nasty lust for results path.

    But wait, there's more!

    Do you remember "Death Clocks?" I've discussed this more than once, but loosely this is when you put an exact time limit on something, then basically manifest failure in so doing. So if I say "If my ex hasn't come back" (please don't come back, any of you, lol,) "by a week from today, it means my spellwork failed," then what I am basically creating is a situation where my ex will not under any circumstances come back that day or before because I manifested failure by that sort of thinking. Very annoying, I know, but you basically send out an energy that draws failure by x date when you think this way. If you can tell me what you were doing and what you were wearing exactly 2 weeks ago at 2:30pm and then what you were doing  and wearing 42 days ago at 11am, than I can already tell that you are a death clocker. If you come into my inbox and bemoan that it's been 4 weeks exactly to the day? Lust for results, death clocking, and you are the reason it's delayed. It's literally something you can control in most cases. Your problem is you need to LET IT GO, and STOP TICKING THE DAYS OFF, and FOCUS ON OTHER THINGS SO YOUR SPELLWORK CAN MANIFEST, and refusing to do so by saying you "Can't help it" or some similar excuse is DEDICATED SELF-DEFEATISM which is also bad (see above.)

    Of course, what sort of article on lust for results can be complete without a mention of DRAINING LEVELS OF NEGATIVITY AND INSECURITY. And while I am certain it's draining to you, it's also draining to everyone else, and repelling them as they do not want to be near someone who drains all of the energy out of them just by interacting with them. I don't expect anyone to be chock fulla sunshine if they have been emotionally traumatized, but you can try not sulking and focusing on your blessings rather than your problems and I'm certain it will boost your mood and make you more attractive to others. I always tell people if we all got together and threw our problems on the problem pile, you'd grab your own back fast enough when you saw how bad other people's problems are. If you knew the amount of times I've had ridiculous problems going on (and if you remember second Mr NinjaCat if you've known me as far back as 2019, he was a constant horrible problem creator,) only to have an hour or three taken up by someone legitimately ugly crying about an image or heart react on social media for my job, I can assure you that many, many many people exaggerate to themselves how bad their problems really are. Someone heart reacting to your rival's new selfie is not worth a tear, much less hours of them. If you suspect you might be guilty of this (and everyone is here and there,) you might remind yourself of that proverbial problem pile to reassure you that you are doing better than many people around you, and things are really not so desperate.

    And speaking of desperate, what is the world's worst cologne? DESPERATION! So please keep this in mind when trying to find love or retrieve love. You know when desperate people do? They social media stalk-lurk. They call and text too much and often over explain and smother. They get upset over the littlest slight. They do a lot more, but you want to avoid

    And lastly, try to keep in mind, just because a love spell can make a person feel all lovey towards you, that doesn't make them kind, thoughtful, not abusive, honest or any of that. It just means they feel affection and desire for you, which is not loyalty, fidelity, or a personality change just because they have those feelings. 

    Hopefully this little review has been helpful!

    ~Cat

  • Reddit Stalker/s, unfortunately continued

    Hey Occulties,

    I said I wouldn't bother saying more because the garbage going on is merely for attention and reaction (it's so very stupid, and clearly untrue,) but I don't like when people upset my clients and readers, and they are upset and angry about these assclowns (moreso than I am) at the situation, so here's some helpful info. If you see a reddit stalker posting under varying names (and Pomegranate whatever is one, but there are actually 4-5 people involved, only one of whom I've apparently even worked for ever, and even then…only allegedly because several things said sound nothing like me or even my practices which has upset several clients from that alone) just report them. You can do that by sending an email to Reddit or filling out a help form. If you need help finding the info, I got you, fam, so contact me. Trust me, the more they are reported the less I get comments from "ThrowawayBlahBlahBlah" or whatever new name they have with throwaway whatever coming from the same dipshits repeatedly – and it's tedious. 90% of my content on Reddit was reposting spell articles for people. Now I've more or less got it on block because "ThrowawaySamePersonPretendingtobeSomeoneElse" would say something absolutely stupid here or there, so you now. can't even contact me through there. It's pointless for me to keep the alerts on because very little business came through there to begin with and I don't care what any keyboard warrior says about me behind an account literally named "throwaway."

    If you are the Reddit stalker (and I have a very good idea of who's involved but am only certain of one name,) you are pretty much little more than a troll. Because you are so cowardly, you won't speak to me directly nor give me your name, nor tell anyone where you work (because if you say rotten shit about me, I think it's only fair I get to go where you work and see how you do). That alone tells me absolutely nothing you say is true or you'd back it up and if you're a perfect worker at your job, you'd throw that in there so we can all go see how good of a job of living in your mom's house you're doing since I easily assume you don't have an actual job.  I'll happily take your location as well since I give out my address. But feel free to contact me if you actually had me work for you (since I'm relatively certain none did,) and I'll pull up your account and see if you have a leg to stand on. 

    Because not a damn one of those stalkers will. And since you insult my job and threaten it, keep posting but put your name and address and real email up on Reddit. Then we can see if you are the real real. You won't of course. Then I can go in my records and prove you're lying.

    Until every one of my stalkers posts their full name, real email and real location (I don't need the street address,) then you're lying. Nothing you say is verifiable. People know who I am and where I am and I also post an image of myself so put your image on each post you make.

    Can't/Won't? You're lying, you're stupid, and the only people who actually think you're telling the truth are gullible asslowns I wouldn't work for anyhow. If you were being honest you'd at least post your full name and something else verifiable. 

    So, no more need to get upset clients/readers – report every post til they can't make more accounts. They are cowards. These are just people so pathetic and angry that they pick fights behind a screen but would jump 20 feet if I said boo to them in person. They have no friends and are very lonely so they use the internet to pick on people without risking anything since they use an alias and this is how they feel tough or important (when they are just too scared to even look people in the eye or say anything directly to them). That's what keyboard gangsters are…pathetic trash. Not a single one of these people has directly contacted me, to give you some idea. They don't have the guts to even email me. Terrifiying stuff, you pathetic wimpy trolls, really. 

    ~Cat

     

  • Making Things Work with More Useful Solutions

    Hey Occulties, 

    Remember the time (well some of you,) when you asked me for a "dream spell" or a "wish spell" and you saw me visibly cringe? Apparently it's some planetary transit wherein that sort of thing is common again (I'll have to check out what is doing what, because this sort of thing does come in waves,) so in the hopes of making many more effective spellcasters rather than promoting relatively unuseful practices, let's do some review. 

    "Why do you think 'wish spells,' are stupid, Cat? Everyone wants a wish to come true!" In the words of my generation, "Well, duh," but of course, if you are doing magic, you probably should try actually using spells that are targeted towards your goal. Using some generic "wish spell," sounds pretty suspect, and I think you may have been watching too many children's movies about wizarding schools if you think you need a "wish spell." 

    Before you cry and stamp your feet at my audacity in saying that, let's examine some common wishes that aren't completely ridiculous wishes like wanting to be shrunk to two inches high or wanting to be transported into the 15th century to ask a dead relative if they think you're hot. So since you consider yourself to be a very balanced person you wouldn't ask for anything that is very improbable of ever happening, right? Instead your wish would be to marry your ex and be gloriously happy. OK, so that's not an uncommon thing for me to have requested, but why would a wish spell, as opposed to something like a reconciliation spell, love drawing work, commitment work, probably some communication work…then you might need to protect the relationship from outside influences… I'm sure I'm leaving out some stuff, but why would you want a wish spell instead? Is it because a "wish spell" sounds easier and you think a magical djinn gonna pop out and nod it's head and your wish is granted? Because you're probably just going to be suckered into getting a wish spell or performing one because it SOUNDS SO SIMPLE, but for any spell to cause such a complete and amazing change, it would have to be profoundly powerful (more powerful than any spell cast by any spellcaster I've ever seen, or even known to have historically exist) made even more impressive by the fact that all wishes of any kind would be granted by this very spell, so the ingredients must truly be ones I have never used or have known were useful as so. 

    I see that sour face on you. Basically, wish spells, so far as I have seen, are more or less fake. They just aren't real. Now I'm sure there is something that might qualify as a wish spell but your wishes would have to be a bit less grandiose. Like you might say "Well I want to win a prize – any sized prize – playing lotto, and while you'd actually do better doing a gambling spell insofar as prizes, a bet a "wish spell" would cover that and you might even win $10 or something.

    Then comes the question of "Why are you always such a dick about dream spells! Dream spells are cool! Like you could totally use them to convince a target to do a thing!" 

    And you'd be right that they exist, and that they are not without purpose on the odd occasion, except that most people do view dreams (assuming they remember them,) as the brain entertaining itself while the body repairs itself and not as being something of any value. You forget a fair amount of people forget their dreams nearly instantly upon waking. Even me, who has the prophetic dream from time to time, places only very small value on 99.9% of dreams…and you may be (not saying you are, saying it's possible) projecting your own beliefs on dreams onto another. Like people who ask me for this stuff tend to place a heavy value on the meanings of their dreams, and just assume most people do. In fact the best use of dream work, in my personal opinion, is to cause sleeplessness and stress, or to use to sort of lull someone into compliance (one using nightmares, the other using reassuring happy dreams,) and not about directly convincing them, nor for rapid results. 

    Of course let's not forget, there is a whole army of people out there who want a spell and they don't know how to put into words what they want spellwise, so maybe they are just using unhelpful terms. So let's break this down into some easy steps.

    First, think about what it is you want. Now place it under one of the following categories: Love/Friendship, Money, Business or Schoolastic Success, Court Case Work, Gambling, Avoiding Detection, Retribution/Justice, Cursing/Harming, Blessing/Protection, Cleansing (removal) or Reversing of Spiritual Work or Spiritual Conditions, Fertility, Health, Obstacle Removal, Control or Domination or other. Now if it's other, just hold on, and still read through the rest. Keep in mind that reconciliation and marriage would be love spells, and breaking people up is cursing. 

    Second (and if you saw a missing broad topic above, lmk,) now that you have an idea of what type of spell it is, now make a subtype. So above I say how reconciliation is a love spell. So you want your ex back, means you want a love spell, which is for reconciliation. Maybe you want to attract a new love, which would be a love attraction spell. For the sake of brevity, I will let you pick what subtype it is by just suggesting you define the underlying desire of the spell. 

    Third, now that you have those 2 facts in mind, try searching. Like do I want to make more money? More sales in particular? Then I might try "spell to make more sales" Clear off the ads. Literally I want you to check and see if this is an actual thing (it is.) Now, you will see "dream spells," "Luck spells," and "weight loss spells" and all sorts of things which technically aren't anything I'd recommend, but by actually trying to get an idea of what it is you want, you're already doing better. Once you realize there are spells for almost every need, you can be a bit more direct and avoid too many common bullshit tropes.

    Because I commonly get this stinker of a question: "I like want a love spell. What kind of love spell? I dunno, what kinds are there? What do you mean like 100 subtypes. Oh, I mean I want my ex to come back." So, that's reconciliation. See now if you followed the above steps first, you'd already know that. If you said you wanted a "wish spell" my question would literally be (I'm sure this is verbatim on what I'd say, too) "what is your wish exactly?" Then, since you just wanted your ex back, I'd tell you the effective spell in that case would be a reconciliation spell. See how easy this is?

    Since this just so happens to be something I review about once a year and I was getting a lot of "dream spells" and "wish spells" type requests, thank you for reading my long winded bit of advice on the topic. 😀

    ~Cat

  • Reddit Stalker…. The True Story *UPDATED*

    Hello my Occulties,

    This incident was also covered here on my business site. 

    So as you may have guessed, when you've been in business for two decades as I have, despite publicly posted terms of service and rules, most of which have remained the same since the business began, despite making hundreds if not thousands of people happy, that at least once a year one fucking piece of shit is just going to be an asshat. On average it's 1.75 people per year. I expect it and it doesn't faze me much. So when I made some clown unhappy for not making promises their spell would manifest overnight, someone who believed I should be on call 24/7 if I'm "real" and "ethical," and my not taking their abusive language, not cutting down my prices to 20% of what I post them as (which actually is in line with the average prices, thanks,) and not being willing to budge on a policy which I clearly outline I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND ON right on those publicly available pages that have remained virtually the same for 2 decades, I thought that I'd really had some ridiculous bullshit I'd dealt with for having to put up with all their crap for a minute there but that would be that.  

    Oh, cluster B personality disorders, why do you make stalkers, because they are already beset with all of the issues you've given them and no one wants them to spread that shit. But they do. And no I'm not making fun of mental illness. This one is certifiable. I'd bet you $100 my assessment is on point. 

    And so this clown decided to become a poster child for how no adult with a spine, courage, intellect, or honor would operate (the poster child for histrionic dumbassery, in fact), and decided to get in a fight with a short, redheaded woman who takes shit from honestly only one guy (and he's very nice to me, so even that's rare.) One sunny day (tbf, I don't recall the weather,) this fall, I come in to a reddit I would at that time inhabit (long ago to repost blog posts as it was so lonely and awful in there,) to this person posting under "KittyThrowaway," and defaming me. No matter how I and another tried to explain they were quite mistaken and what they were saying was easily discredited, the once-awesome but now sycophantic-under-newfound-popularity mod, after years and years of running something which might be compared to circling a turd in a gas-station toilet of reddits which had recently begun to find a lot of popularity just nodded and agreed. When I challenged the "throwaway" to say who they actually were, they were terrified and accused me of threats.

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    I actually don't issue a warning shot, really. If I said I was gonna kick your ass, I almost assuredly would not mean it (nor would you be apt to think I was being anything but amusing,) and further I don't really say that sort of thing at my age, but it's when you're a cunt and I say nothing at all that you probably want to be concerned. 

    BUT because I made an offhand remark like "if you really don't believe I'm capable of casting spells, you'd just tell everyone who you were because you wouldn't be afraid you'd get some wasting disease mysteriously," or similar. Boop, I get tossed for being threatening, never mind someone is slurring my name, lying on me (outright saying I do things I do not do and have never done, which I have screenshots of, and I can show easily just using google that it can be proven false without my own needing to provide "proof" which could be doctored,) is basically threatening my livelihood, my income, and my life, – I dared ask them to use their real REDDIT ACCOUNT (not even their real name,) and said they clearly don't find me scary with what they are saying and should not have a problem doing so but now I'm threatening them. That's sensible. I can be repeatedly threatened and lied about, but if I have the girl balls (we call them ovaries in the states,) to stand up and disagree, I'm the bad one. Alright. 

    Oh for fuck's sake. You know, I do very little cursing really. I mean, it's just too much effort and frankly when I do curse, you're almost guaranteed to know me in real life, and not online (unless someone paid me to curse you, of course). Like you and I have probably physically been in each other's presence at least once if not several times if I did curse you, and even then, it's not something I do so often. Too much effort for people who aren't worth even acknowledging. Even the clowns mentioned here – I mean one used to suck up to me until his reddit got momentarily popular, and the other is pissed I didn't break my own rules and suggested they go elsewhere but is too scared to confront me at the same time. Woooo. Scary.

    I wouldn't threaten you I'd do "baneful 'magick'" (not least of all because I can spell and don't insult myself and everyone else pretending I have to place a k at the end of magic or you'll be so stupid you'll think I mean I'll do a card trick or pull a quarter out from behind your ear, but also because I don't say "baneful" pretty much ever,) and if you're having a lot of problems which mysteriously started after you were a cunt to me, but believed I'd have to have warned you I'd go hexmaster supremo on you for you to think I'd curse you…which honestly I'm insulted anyone thinks I'm cursing randos on reddits which is beyond dorky for even me, then what's the problem? Why am I sooooo scawy?

    Anyhow, I shrugged it off. Some Reddit Mod who I'd formerly been friendly with was drunk on this "popularity" (which clearly was this person's first ever encounter with people looking up to then given the behavior,) acting sanctimonious over some mentally ill weirdo who was making a scene to get back at me for wrongs I never did. Let the guy who was never looked up to feel admired because being drunk on Reddit popularity is…well, it's like me getting drunk off of a half of a light beer (I could probably drink a whole case and just pee a lot and not be hammered,) so I mean let the kid have his fun, and this clown making up stories? Probably just wants attention and I got to be unlucky to be this weeks obsession, so whatever. 

    Because at the time I was still living at the hotel, fucking poor AF, had some serious life stuff I'd just recently found out, had some Mr NinjaCat stuff going on that was also pretty serious, and my shit ex host started losing emails (I am so glad I moved hosts for my site) so I had a few good people pissed off and those people deserved better. I have plenty of people I am still very much in touch with who can vouch for me that I did in fact do my utmost to fix the situation and I did let them know what was going on, so I admit it here publicly, it was a bad time for emails and I know I missed following up on a few for that, (this fall was bullshit,) and I know I pissed a few people off for a second, but so far as I know, I did get back to everyone. I tried taking on a bit less work too, because like I said, I had my hands full at the time, and it was just…a rotten time for this Reddit Mod to turn on me for a clown, thereby making himself a clown. But like I said, whatever, if you're gullible enough to believe someone who has to act as that person did (the screen shots are hilarious,) then you shouldn't moderate the ticket sales at an elementary school play much less a group of adults, so I was better off. 

    I had almost forgotten about it today. This chick I mistook for a nice practitioner starting out, a girl I'd offered pointers to, and had sent business to ran a reddit and I posted on there. My post did not immediately post which was weird since it's a small reddit. I didn't think much of it until this evening when I get a notice I'm "banned for life." LMFAO. So I ask what this is about, because it's gotta be good. She goes and tells me (which I had my people look and so not entirely honestly,) that someone had complained that I'd posted there before (the stalker, which was not hard to confirm,) and like there was "proof" I "blocked them" (which is impossible on any email I have, but OK,) and that I didn't send them pictures of something I did (which they would be clear that I don't generally and actually it's in my FAQ, and also I had hired her out of mostly sympathy and she "forgot" to send me photos of that service which I also have proof of her saying that, haha, – my response was IDGAF at the time but I guess she's banned for life in that other reddit and I feel "threatened" by her actions today, LMAO) that I said I would use "baneful magick" (words I would never ever speak or write unless quoting another,) against this person (because I'm actually not at all well known to just threaten anyone for any reason but I guess my notoriously non-confrontational-until-pushed-repeatedly-self did that on a whim, right?) and some other hogwash. When I said why wouldn't anyone ask my side before they just banned me, it was clear she was either threatened by this first Reddit (I have proof she takes money for services and doesn't send promised images, so I guess she's off of there now as is, – not that I really do give a fuck, but since that's apparently a huge vile mark on her integrity from what I gather, certainly other people in this histrionic dramafest must insist on her removal,) oh and multiple people backed them up (this was also found to be not entirely true, – because I probably shouldn't have believed a 2 faced liar to begin with,) I tried to think of who I'd pissed off other than (oh and it's a notorious fucker stalker) "KittyThrowaway" (and if you want to keep tempting me I have all your info, but the fact "KittyThrowaway" is a cunt everyone wants to throwaway seems like life cursed that one enough, so not worth my time,) and remembered 2 people who having signed a contract would not likely have joined in on ripping on me on a post, but they were pretty upset about the email thing back then and pretty bad about working with me according to my terms of service, needing many reminders. As I'd not gotten my people to scour and look for fuckery yet I offered perhaps them, but that I'd righted things with both and it was an email issue which I had gone out of my way to post in various places was going on at the time plus posted to my blog, so…not sure what that was about. Seemed to me a clown with very suspicious behavior who was saying clearly false things which are easily disproven (without me having to send any screen shots or provide proof which anyone providing "personal proof" could doctor it, – you can discredit them with GOOGLE,) was the culprit and that she and (Name of Other Mod) were just being pathetic sycophants and not wanting to displease a handful people who's approval they should not seek. (You should avoid those types.) 

    The truth does not mind being questioned. A lie sure as shit does. This is why liars hide behind throwaway accounts, or add stuff to a pretty non-exciting moment when someone who was never cool started to feel Godlike for leading a reddit so they can have that clearly "reddit popular," kid on their side if they add exaggerations on to the lies, so what can I do? There's 2 people not bright or discerning or brave enough to see they are doing me wrong, and here's one person who's giving a one finger salute and saying may the bridges I burn light the way. Good luck to you both. I could discredit you both more but you're not mean people, just weak. And this is about as mean as I can be to people who are so weak. Anything more would be cruel. You are both better than your actions. Very disappointing. 0/10 would not recommend.

    But this stalker…oh, my lovies, I've not had a true nutter in awhile. Remember that guy from London that used to literally email me that I'm a poopy pants and he's gonna get me! This one might be as bad given the behavior. Oh, this is a rare treat. Now I have to look but I think this person signed a contract, and that does state they agree to pay a large sum if in violation of certain terms…I hope they got a big checkbook, lol. Always read what you're signing. Always. And if you wanna be a fucking cunt, I'm not going to curse you, but just hold you to those terms and conditions you're bound to. Because one thing my dear Mr NinjaCat will tell you I'm very proud of is at some point if you push me far enough, I'm the biggest fucking cuntiest cunt of all the cunts that ever lived and I will out cunt you so hard. 99% of the time I'm a nice lady. Maybe more than 99% of the time. Don't see the 1%. Anyhow, we will see. If they didn't sign because they never actually hired me (the majority of people lobbing complaints against me historically never have hired me), I'll just have my people gather up anything posted on any site (I have some bored friends, heh,) and go after them legally another way. This will be even better than the time when someone got in a fight with me over their overdue bill, and then couldn't rent an apartment for years because I reported them to the credit companies and they were too proud to pay what they owed, so it stuck there like a fart in a compact car with all the windows not working in winter…because like I said…I'm the cuntiest cunt of all if you go too far. 

    It ain't "baneful magic," or even a curse like most people would say instead of that pompous shit, and I wouldn't waste it on someone like that. It would be like using dynamite to crush an ant. But there will be consequences.

    Some people's kids, amirite?

    Sorry to disappoint anyone who didn't know I do deal with mega-shitbag-liars at some point, but I do.  

    I love you all even if it's not mutual right now….cuz I gotta go be a cunt. 🙂

    ~Cat

    MULTIPLE UPDATES FROM CLIENTS/BLOG READERS AND FRIENDS – Funny and enlightening news on this front, and thanks to the footwork of many. I won't be posting further updates and since it's clear there's some bullying going on (legit, I'm being bullied lol,) the reddits in question might get reported as one of the people helping pointed out it's clearly the work of 2 people (not second reddit mod,) then just pettiness, sycophantic fear-mongering, and bullying (lmao, I'm being bullied,) and well, that's just sad. Sorry I helped your reddit when it sucked and gave you free spellwork when you were down, bro – at least I remember it as being free, but this episode, readers? This is why I'm not as charitable as I once was because I do favors for people and the next thing you know I'm evil and out to get everyone. SMH. Anyhow, here are the best of the reports I got (and for it being "like tons of people" as I was falsely informed by second mod, it was clearly not more than a handful as more than one of these people got hit up by different people of mine who scanned the whole site for any of it, which I might add of the complainers, it seems about half had other identities but I believe everyone is reviewed below,) and the reports have been edited for clarity:

    I found one of them talking shit. PMed them and they said you refused to lower your price and never worked for them, but took up an hour of their time before insisting you would not lower your fees even being told they live in another country and their money is worth less. When I asked if they knew what you would charge before the consultation they said they waited to tell you the budget but you should have understood. I mentioned you have a price list on your site. They said you don't have a site. I said you have had one since 2004 and a long running blog. They accused me of being you and blocked me. 

    So, I did not do business with them, but I'm a scam because I wouldn't give them a special lowered price? WOW, that person sounds like someone's word to trust! I mean, I'm going to go get some groceries later and insist because I earn less than this lawyer behind me in line, I should pay less and see if they just agree since clearly that's how businesses work (I would never do that, either because only assholes do stuff like demand a special lower price.)

    Where do I start. Began picking apart a specific post because it did contain easy to dismiss claims. The person contacted me (or another account did which claimed to be them.) I asked If you worked for them, and they said they were really nice to you and you seemed nice and they complimented your blog, but then they asked for pictures of the work. You told them outright it is not your practice and if this was a deal killer, they should probably see someone else. They were incensed and apparently tried to convince you that you are wrong to do that, and at the end of this "conversation" (which I infer they really read you the riot act for a long time,) you say "look you have just wasted hours and hours of my time – which is worth $125 per hour – giving me shit about nothing I am going to change because some person who is crazy enough to think they can argue me into giving them special treatment suchas yourself thinks I would regret not taking the business of an entitled and abusive jerk like you! I think I missed a bullet by not meeting your expectations" which verbatim sounds like you, and then they said you told them to kick rocks which I take they are not a native English speaker and were very upset thinking that meant something very bad. 

    So, because they wasted my time then followed me around lecturing and insulting me and wasted more time, but again, never bought anything, I'm the bad guy? Wow, OK, good to see this isn't any customers! LMFAO. This is an entitled abusive jerk. I stand by that. And when I say kick rocks it really isn't like "pound sand" but a pretty PG suggestion, so I'm not sorry to have used it but I get that feelings may have been more hurt than intended.

    Said you did not do the work because four months after you cast it some friend of the mod [of the first reddit mentioned] did a reading for them and said you didn't. Said they contacted you and you didn't respond.

    Wait, what? My competition, who clearly didn't do a reading (because after four months that would be hugely difficult to read spell energy, as most of it would have dissipated, -  and frankly, when you are asked if someone did a spell, you look for indicators of change in their reading if you're most readers, so that tells me the person probably isn't a reader or if they are they failed to disclose that as one normally would,), a person who is a friend with someone who is no longer my friend and had very hurty feelings about me a few months back, so also has every reason to lie told them I didn't do the work for this person. Best part? This person reports back that I charged $409. Every price I have ends in a 5 or a 0 and has since I first started actually. Even if it's a typo that's highly suspect. My price list hasn't changed in probably close to a decade and I don't generally charge $400 for anything. Suddenly this kid 2 weeks ago just started smack talking me or something? I mean, I do tell everyone TO USE MY EMAIL to contact me, so it's plausible someone contacted me on reddit but I have no chat that fits this. That's all i know, and I gave you the juicy parts. IF THE OFFENDER WANTS TO CONTACT ME, PLEASE DO AND WE WILL CLEAR IT UP…and I don't mean the reader who did a favor for my former friend and made shit up instead of doing a reading, lol. The best part will be proving that reader wrong, will take me 1 minute (no nothing scary), but can't post something that personal here to a possible client and since I never charged anyone $409 this is a huge mystery. 

    You pointed out a mistake in something they posted which they took as that you're rude. It was some spell and you asked them why this or that ingredient when that makes no sense. They said you clearly don't know what you are talking about, but then could not defend the ingredient except said it was there because they said so. They never hired you. They say you are just an asshole.

    Yeah, that's probably some spell where a bay leaf was way weird of an ingredient. I was honestly legitimately curious as to the reason. When asked they became defensive, and refused to say more which tells me they either stole the spell or just made it up and didn't realize it was horribly cobbled together and nonsense. I could be wrong, but I believe I remember that interaction.

    I guess you didn't give them free work when the work did not take. From what I gathered there were initial results but they fizzled. So they said some stuff happened, then nothing, then went back to initially something happening not nothing but not enough. When I pressed to see if they had lust for results or acted contrary to your instructions to ferret out if they had made the spell fizzle they acted awkward and may have blocked me. Not responding now. 

    Because I wouldn't give them something they were in no way entitled to, I'm a bad person. Gotcha. I know exactly who this one is, and they were actually pretty good of a client to work for except for the entitled thing which would rear it's head over and over despite gentle (and then less gentle) explanation it wasn't owed or coming. I'm sorry this person lowered themselves to this level. Very disappointed. Thought they were a better person. 

    So, out of everyone basically 2 people worked with me, and one is allegedly being manipulated against me and has voiced no complaint directly to me. Terrifying. I get hundreds of cases a year and 2 complaints? I'll take it. Less than 1% dissatisfaction? Sure. That's good, and I'm glad.

    Oh and, as an aside, "R-Pomegranate," (name changed) SO MANY CHARGEBACKS? I have had one in the last 22ish months (I want to say actually since April or early May 2021,) and the money was given back by the person who did the most recent willingly so it didn't go through. The prior one I was awarded all the money back as the person who did it was judged as being dishonest and fabricating by the pay processor. So you can see how I got "so many chargebacks," meaning 0 that went through, and 2 attempts in 2 years, and out of all my sales that would be less than even 0.3 of a percent of my sales had attempted chargebacks in the last 22 or so months, so you just gave me a compliment! Why tell all those lies and tell people not to use my services then? I mean, the whole post was full of lies, so…it is what it is. I bet you got a free reading from someone to post that but if I did work for you then you should have read your contract….and um, not the part about chargebacks because in your case that wouldn't be the violation I have screenshots of. 😛 (CA – 12, btw.)

    But then again, I'm sure it was worth the free reading or service you got from whoever to make up that loveletter you posted. *yawn*

    I've been warned though that because this was addressed there's a few clown soldiers tryna save face so if the stupidity rages on, I'm sure I will be accused of killing the dinosaurs, the real person who stabbed Caesar, and the Pharaoh in the story of Moses. SMH. You flatter me. I can barely open a pickle jar on my own.

    Keep talking shit, if you just want to make me famous. I mean, after all I bet I'm the one who killed Jimmy Hoffa, too, lmao!

  • CONTEST WITH PRIZES – Questions You’ve Asked Me

    ***This Article is FEATURED and newer posts may appear below it***

    Hey Occulties,

    So, after chatting with Ms Karma Zain, I'm here to announce my Questions You've Asked Me Contest, which is a super fun contest that requires no purchase from you and can get you FREE AWESOME PRIZES…or at least, I think they are awesome, but then I would. 😉 This time the prizes are:

    GRAND PRIZE: $150 Gift Certificate to Seraphin Station (ritual supplies!!!) One free single spellcasting (up to $150 value,) with me, and a free hour reading. 
    First Runner Up: $100 Gift Certificate to Seraphin Station, and one free single spellcasting with me
    Second Runner Up: $50 Gift Certificate to Seraphin Station, and one free half hour reading with me. 

    Entering is simple. Please use this form for EACH QUESTION (so a new form needs to be filled out for every question entered), with everyone entering being allowed to enter up to five (5) questions for free. If you purchase any services from me from now until March 1, 2023, you can add an additional question for each purchase made. 

    The questions should be new (please click on the Questions You've Asked Me topic link to check,) never before asked questions, they should be focused ON TOPIC (so hoodoo, rootwork, spellcasting techniques – not how do you make Cat's Famous Meatloaf recipe) and to the point (so no vague questions.) The best three questions will be chosen on March 2, with the winners announced no later than March 7. 

    Fired and banned clients/people are unwelcome to join, otherwise, participants should be 21 and older, and as long as you are, you are welcome to enter. You may only win one prize, not all three. You agree by submitting questions that your question can appear on my blog and that it becomes property of OriginalNinjaCat.com for use in future blog articles. 

    Contact me if you have any questions regarding the contest. 

    ~Cat

  • Reminders for People who Need Love Spell Reminders

    Hey Occulties,

    DAMN, it's colder outside than my attitude is at a party full of people I hate, and that's mofuggin cold. So, today since I posted a luv spell yesterday, comes the obligatory lecture about love and relationships because so often I find it isn't the spell isn't working, it's the petitioner working against the spell, as many people (even me at times,) can get very overwhelmed by emotions and stop being sensible. 

    So, since yesterday's spell was to attract a specific person to you, why would this spell flounder – what behaviors or actions could cause that, and how can we address that so it doesn't happen to us. 

    For starters, make sure that the person is SINGLE. There is nothing right about dating someone who's with someone else (I mean, if it's a true open relationship then the other partner knows all about you and you're not going to be intruding on their relationship, but if it isn't, then…) and if you're a woman, even more people are going to judge you. It may be sexist, but it's how it is. But past the morality of them not being single, remember, if they cheated on their spouse or partner to be with you, they are almost guaranteed to cheat on you, and any coarse behaviors they showed towards that partner are apt to be aimed at you if their former partner leaves – and a lot of the time, they had no intention of leaving that person as is, and don't, which brings up the next problem. Even when you do a love spell on someone to make them come to you, they might already really like you in a romantic way, they may see you a bit more, but if they had no intention of leaving the person they are cheating on, then you will only accomplish seeing them more. So, one problem you may run into is your target isn't single and just getting someone attracted and desirous of you doesn't mean that they will leave their partner even if they act on those feelings.

    If you did not know and just discovered your erstwhile partner was never single, it doesn't change the above, either. 

    Next, be sure this person is someone who would be sexually attracted to you. No, I'm not saying you're ugly. I know plenty of heterosexual people who get crushes on gay guys and girls and then think magic will fix that, as well as many gay folx who get crushes on heterosexual people, and so on and so forth. If you know the person has a preference, you are not doing yourself any favors by throwing yourself at someone who is not capable of feeling sexual or romantic attraction. Years and years ago, I knew someone who was deeply in love with a gay gentleman, and while he wasn't out of the closet, short of making out with a man in public, he was every gay stereotype there is, but she would not admit to herself that this was very likely so, and that woman threw everything magical at this guy to no avail, so save yourself the energy and heartache, and remember, it's not your fault or theirs that the attraction can't be consummated, but it's best for you both to let the crush go.

    Also DO NOT STALK YOUR TARGET and do not smother them!! I don't understand why people think they are being slick or attractive by blowing up someone's phone or stalking social media, or any other stalkery smothery behaviors, but this is going to discourage your target's desire as strongly as pooping your pants while they are kissing you probably would. 

    When the person begins to respond to the spell, do not become overwhelming and smothery either! AND DO NOT bring up some past thing this person did the moment you begin to reconcile. If you really need to discuss this with them, then you need to wait to be back in a secure relationship or wait for them to bring it up. 

    And speaking of reconciliation, many of you neither know how nor how often to apologize. Apologies are generally given once, and you should not repeat them over and over. Be sure you take ownership of the mistake and the resulting problems or hurt it caused, and from there either try to suggest something to improve yourself, or say "I will do my utmost to avoid this mistake in the future." Example: "Hey, I'm really sorry that I got drunk and stole your moped and drove into a cave of polar bears at the zoo which destroyed it, but I want you to know that I'm so very sorry for the hurt and expense I've caused you, as I was totally wrong. Please accept this financial reimbursement for the full amount of a new moped and know I hope this makes up for what I've done and helps you to know I do not want this incident to harm our friendship." It is NOT: "Sorry I got drunk and stole your moped, but admit that I drove it straight into a den of polar bears was freakin classic! I mean here's a few bucks for your crappy bike – mopeds are so lame so maybe you can get a real motorcycle this time." Never deflect blame when apologizing. Own what you did. 

    But don't repetitively apologize because all you do is remind someone how much you hurt them. Say it once. One. Time.

    I think that's all the classic "stop fcking up your own love spells" problems that aren't lust for results or someone making a mistake doing the spell…. 

    I'll try to be back a bit later with another spell for you all. 🙂

    ~Cat

    PS- I remembered one. No one wants to date a martyr or a slob, so clean yourself up and stop being so negative because I promise you, neither tends to appeal to a prospective partner. 

  • Spell to Draw a Specific Person to You

    Hey Occulties,

    Since a couple of people decided they were going to drag out consultations (which I don't mean you told me outright you can pay me on x day,) I have a super free night tonight. I could spend that cleaning the house (ewwww,) or writing an article, plus keep in mind that dragging out a consultation can cost money (as can getting multiple consultations without purchasing anything repeatedly), so in a way, now my readers and I are both ahead. 🙂

    So tonight since everyone's getting all mushy thinking about Valentine's Day, I figured I'd feature a love spell, even though I do warn you that this doesn't mean in like ten days someone is definitely going to come charging in the door with a dozen roses in hand wishing desperately for you to be in their loving arms. As always, keep your expectations realistic, no stalking or acting badly towards the target, no fighting, etc. The idea is to let the target reach out to you first. OK? OK.

    You will need:

    Four pink "chime" candles
    3 red "chime" candles 
    An image of the target
    Dust from a riverbed
    Sugar (plain old granular sugar)
    Powdered licorice root
    Powdered pink or red rosepetals
    Come to Me oil
    A large pie plate, cake tin, or other heatproof container
    A sharp object like a needle or a pin
    Optional: Sand

    In a small bowl, mix together about 2 tablespoons each of the sugar, licorice root, rosepetals and dust. This does not have to be exact measurements, and you are aiming for about equal parts of each. Hold your hands over the mixture, envisioning you (or the petitioner) together, and say "(Name of Target,) your run faster than the river to hold me (or petitioner name) in your arms." and repeat this six more times, for a total of seven times. 

    Now using your sharp object, carve up (base to wick) your command for the target, – something like "come to me," or "desire me," is perfectly appropriate. You may use the same command for each candle or a different one on each or even 3 different commands, etc., but keep it simple. Don't write a gigantic mega sentence on each one. Now anoint each candle from base to wick, using seven strokes of the hand and as you anoint each one say "(Name of target,) you run faster than the river to hold me in your arms," each time you anoint a new candle. 

    Take pie plate or heatproof container and place the image of your target in the center. Now make a circle with the dirt/herb mixture, so that it is around the target. Place the candles outside this circle, alternating the red and pink. Light the candles starting with the western most candle, and as you light each, say "(Name of target,) you run faster than the river to hold me in your arms."  As you light the final candle, speak, looking directly into the eyes of the target's picture, and say "(Name of target,) I conjure you to come to me now, this very moment, this very second, immediately, and each moment that passes the stronger the urge to be with me becomes. I call you now, to come to me this second, as I know you are alone in this world, so I demand you come to me and be my partner, and to come to me full of desire and love this very second! As is my will, so be it!" Allow the candles to burn out. Take the image and hide it in your bedroom, usually between the mattress and boxspring is a good place, until the target comes to you. 

    Sand is optional to fill the pie plate so that your can use it as a fireproof substrate that also doesn't get incredibly hot. The rest of the remains should be thrown out in a location east of your home.

    I'm sure there will be questions, so please ask! 

    ~Cat