Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • All Moved In

    While I've not folded all my clothes, while I still have a few things to bring up to Maine – I have all of my necessary belongings here, phone hooked up, cable internet hooked up, and well, that was relatively painless.

    A special thanks to most of my clients. With only like 2 exceptions, you guys and gals were SO RESPECTFUL and didn't blow up my email and/or my phone (if I trusted you with the number) and that's awesome. In the past, I've had friends and/or family die and people were not that respectful. It was like "Sorry someone you loved died yesterday, but did I tell you someone liked my facebook post, and can we discuss that for 2 hours while I complain?" but nope, not this time. I am so, so impressed! :D 

    Thanks again for the relatively painless move everyone!

    ~Cat

  • “My Neighbor is Satan!” – Things to Consider when Working Against a “Bad Neighbor” and Even One More (others exist on the blog) Spell to Try to Rid Yourself of a “Bad Neighbor”

    Hey Occulties,

    I get a lot of questions about getting rid of bad neighbors. Hell, I've had a few bad neighbors before, and it can become pretty contentious, so I do understand. While I realize some of you are probably tiring of my tendency to go over what is possibly a review for you, I find that if my last post on something was some time ago (years, even) that it is the best idea to talk some basics again. 😉

    First and foremost, the best way to deal with bad neighbors is really to try to address the problem directly without being a jerk. For example, "Hi (neighbor,) I hate to be the one who's being rude if I am, but this place is so poorly insulated, I can hear (this is a common problem with apartments, so it's usually any number of things,) as loud as if you're in my place or even louder. I realize you're not trying to be disruptive, but can you please try to keep the volume down a bit?" If you think your neighbor might react rudely, you may be right. In college, I had 2 girls living above me who I spoke to several times. Finally, I spoke to the manager. And lastly I was smacking the ceiling with a broom handle while they stomped back on the floor and laughed. We both grew to hate each other, obviously, and one day, one of the girls was like "Fuck, I need something, I'll ask the crybabies downstairs." We're all about 20 or so at the time, in our first apartments, so like many young people, relationships changed rapidly. Which one of them this was, I can't recall, but as she's sitting in my livingroom and I'm finding what she needed (I think it was a cleaning item of some kind) she suddenly hears her roommate in the hall and heading up the stairs… "THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP, SLAM 'Oh my gawd, that fucking professor just gave me a mother fucking d on my paper, and he can fucking suck his own dick! Ha, ha? right?' THUMP THUMP THUMP BANG THUMP BANG SMASH 'I don't know what, maybe because I don't wear slut clothes,'" and as the other roommate (sitting in my apartment) hears this racket, she turns in horror to me and says "That's how loud we are down here? Oh my God, I just thought you people were being dicks!" 

    "No, actually we were not. And it's louder in my bedroom." I hear her roommate upstairs turning for the door. And I motion the girl in my apartment to my room and have her sit there. Deafening noises emit from the stairs right over my bed.

    "Oh, Cat…" the girl said, "I had no idea. Hold on." And so she gets her roommate, and has her sit there, and in my bedroom. This other girl is looking at me like I'm the worst person she ever met, mouth all squeezed up like she sucked on a lemon, as the first girl (who borrowed the item) goes up the stairs, and then puts stuff down and calls (me actually) so you can hear her talk up there. I watched as this second girl, annoyed to have to even lower herself to being in my presence, suddenly had her angry expression also turn to horror. And then she apologized. A lot. 

    After that, the four of us (my roommate, me, the girls upstairs,) were friends. We assured them that banging and smashing during the day was no big deal. We were awake and most of the time it wasn't problematic. It was how bad the building was, and we understood. They agreed that if we were sleeping or needed some quiet time to not get angry if we asked it of them. To whisper or keep it really low, and we said we'd call them – no manager – or come up and knock. Hell they even told their friends to be "soft footed" on the stairs. So, in many ways this worked out well, but it did take some time. 

    I did that without spells (obviously) – I took care of my "neighbor problem," but keep in mind, I did have to speak to these people, I did have to understand that much of what they were doing wasn't intentional (hilariously some time later, we'd bash the ceiling with the broom and they'd stomp back as a side of camaraderie now,) and they had to understand where me and my roommate were coming from as well. That's not always going to happen for a lot of people. Your neighbor might not think you're being fair, they might get defensive, it might get worse. BUT, you should still try to address the problem ONE ON ONE with the neighbor, using a polite tone, without being accusatory first.

    If this person is churlish to you, doesn't want to listen, etc, there are other steps you can take. 

    So…before you spellcast:

    1. Speak to your neighbors. Explain the issue. If it is a noise complaint, you might even offer to let them hear from your side of the wall/floor how loud they are. Try to be kind and patient, even if they are a bit defensive. If it's about something next door, explain your side of the story, but be open to hearing theirs. MOST PEOPLE if approached by you in a calm, patient manner are going to be willing to at least take notice of your complaints and try to make the situation improve.
    2. If the person is defensive, rude or unkind, speak to the manager if trying to reason with the other tenant has failed. Maybe the other person is someone who is dangerous (or seems so,) and you couldn't complete step one, maybe step 2 doesn't figure because you have next-door HOUSE problems, but if one and two are possible, try the manager. If the manager won't help, even after 2-3 complaints, you may need to cast a spell. They might be fully aware of the problem, if you're a renter, and have never given one damn about the previous tenants complaints either, if it is a structural issue.
    3. Consider complaining to the police if you are living next door, and all reasonable attempts have failed. Now, this is a mixed bag. Sometimes your neighbor may be dangerous, and this might not be an option. However, sometimes a complaint to the police will straighten out a problem, and quickly. Be judicious with this move. 
    4. Assess how easy it would be for this person to move. Are they ill? Elderly? Would moving to another location come with more difficulty than it should? If it would be easier for you to move (especially in a renting situation,) consider if you would prefer to move to another location rather than constantly fight off a game of "Who is the bad neighbor now." 

    Now those steps should help you realize if you SHOULD cast a spell, but as an added advisory, if you're constantly mean, rude and pushy to whoever (especially behind their back,) consider if YOU are the problem. All too often I get people complaining to me about their neighbor, and when I've read their complaint and spoken to them, it's obvious to me that I'm the one speaking to the bad neighbor, NOT to the person who has a bad neighbor. 😉 I realize none of us want the epiphany that we're the bad guy, but it happens…sometimes you are the bad guy. 😉 If this is the case, – seriously – look into moving. That apartment I mentioned above? I lived there for almost 3 years, and everyone who took the place of the last tenant had to be re-educated how loud it was. I'm sure I was kind of the bad guy there. I didn't want to be, and surely my location was the cause thereof (it was basically under 3 different apartments in that place,) but I had to be realistic and remind myself that most of the people there were in no way trying to antagonize me intentionally….and believe me, when someone wakes you up after some dental surgery to screech about being wasted (and it's 2pm) and you feel like you're going to die, it's really hard to be a nice chick (and I don't know if I pulled being nice off that particular time, haha.) If YOU are the one who can't let it go, and if you're getting more and more aggressive and angry…well, go find a new place or accept the faults where you are. 😉 Seriously, – you might be the bad guy in this situation. I know a lot of you won't heed that, but it's worth pointing out.

    It also might not hurt to do something like working a honey jar to improve relations between yourself and your neighbor. Remember, sometimes the best way to a peaceful resolution is getting your neighbor on your side. 

    If you're still thinking "This person must move" and you've read the other blog posts I've put up on the matter, try the following option to see if it can help you – and before I read "I need a substitution for x ingredient or action," the rule here is that the substitution is to FIND A SPELL ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT MY ASSISTANCE WHICH YOU HAVE ALL  THE INGREDIENTS FOR AND CAN DO ALL OF THE ACTIONS TO. Long time readers will remember when I had to put this on every spell for about a year. New readers? Yeah, that's still the rule in effect. 😉

    Possibly the easiest method I know is as follows:
    You will need

    Hot Foot oil**
    Hot Foot Powder (cayenne, sulfur, kosher salt, if you want to make that yourself)
    A red candle
    A scrap of paper
    A black Pen
    A fireproof container (optional)
    A nail, pin, or sharp implement to carve a statement into the candle*
    Sand (optional)
    Black electrical tape

    Inscribe down (wick to base) the candle the command "(Name of person you want to leave)* leave (address) immediately!" Anoint the candle DOWN (wick to base) using seven strokes of your hand while envisioning your antagonists vacating the premises. Sprinkle the candle with Hot foot powder while you say "(name of antagonist), suffer, burn, and writhe – have no rest or peace until you move far away from (address,)" repeating this a total of 9 times while sprinkling the powder. 

    Tear all the edges off of the piece of paper you are using to make an approximate square (I rarely use a surface larger than 3 inches by 3 inches, and often closer to a 2"x2" – I'm from the USA, so metrically convert that if you'd like, and I'll keep my Imperial measurements, haha,) and inscribe the target's name 9 times on the paper using the black pen, for example:
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    James Smith
    And cross this with the command "Vacate (address) immediately!" written nine times. This makes something like a tic tac toe pattern or hashtag pattern.

    If you have an image of your target, place this on top of the paper, and fold them together, folding this away from you in half, then fold away from you again to quarter the paper. Set your candle so this is over the paper. If you need to put your candle into a candle holder, place the candle into the holder, and the paper beneath the holder. If you have a free standing candle, put this into a fireproof container (I like using cake tins and pie plates filled with sand) and the name paper beneath the container. 

    Light the candle, and hold both your hands on either side of the candle, and say "Leave (address) immediately, (name of target), – move away, stay away, IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY, NOW, NOW! Begone from (address), go as far from there as you can, – do not bother me or my family ever again! I conjure you, (name of target), to have no rest, no respite, no peace until you leave (address,) and move as far from there is you can go!" Repeat this a total of nine times. Then say "AS  IS MY WILL, SO IT BE!" Allow the candle to burn out (yes, you can drop your hands and walk away when done with the chanting part, and yes, people do ask,) and when it has done so, within the next 24 hours, wrap the name paper in some black electrical tape to cover it, and throw it into the center of a crossroads over your shoulder, walking through those crossroads without looking back.***

    If the target does not move shortly thereafter or show signs of beginning to move within 28 days (that is, you see them packing boxes, and/or hear they have signed a lease elsewhere) repeat as needed. I would do the work on a Tuesday. I am not a moon-freak, but if you are, probably during a waning moon is best. 🙂 If you love planet hours, use the hour of Saturn. You might also use a Saturday, Mars-hour, waning moon. Emergency trumps moon-cycle, planet hour, and planet day, so do not get uptight if you don't understand this or cant comply with the lunar cycle, day of the week, or planet hour for some reason. 

    Now, I do believe I've offered a similar spell before, so I apologize if it is a review. 😛 I always get the "But I can't do x thing!" complaint with the neighbor spells, and probably I should think up a bigger post with more of them. I do find a lot of people are most comfortable with candle magic – it's remote (that is you don't need to make your target come in contact with it) work, it's usually only a few supplies, and it's easy for beginners. 

    That said, do try to consider some non-magical options first. Dealing with "difficult neighbors" is so often easier to resolve when you just speak to the neighbors regarding your problems that magic might not be something you need to do. You judge for yourself though. 🙂

    Hope this has been helpful! 

    ~Cat

    ALL CONTENT EXCEPT WHERE NOTED IS COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT, AND CANNOT BE USED WITHOUT MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. PLEASE DO NOT PUBLICLY LINK TO, COPY AND PASTE, OVERTLY PLAGIARIZE OR IN ANY WISE USE ANYTHING ON THIS BLOG WITHOUT GETTING MY PERMISSION FIRST. Plagiarists are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and also to the fullest extent of the spiritual/magical ability with which I can go after them.) Please keep in mind, I offer a reward to anyone who spots a plagiarist of my work, and you will be caught. :) 

    *Obviously someone (or, most-likely, multiple someones) will ignore the "Go find a spell you can do all of the actions to," instruction because they are the kind of person who feels that doesn't apply to them (and in saying as much, I really hope anyone like that steps on a Lego today.)

    Having been writing this blog for over a decade (and, at this writing, still innocent of killing the willfully-incapable-of-following-instructions group, which is surprising to even myself,) I am going to offer this substitution for people who insist on using a glass-encased candle (which is fine if you can alter stuff without help, honestly) or who, in some way can't figure out anyone's name and have absolutely no ability (either for imagined reasons or for reasons of actual danger,) to do so, for example by doing something like checking the person's mail, or anything like that, and who will not heed the warning to not ask for a substitution, thereby getting themselves cursed to step on Legos for bothering me by asking such a question. 😉 (MAY A PLAGUE OF LEGO-COVERED FLOORS BEFALL THEE WHILST THOU WALK IN SHOELESS FEET!)

    So, if you have a glass encased candle, you're going to want a Sharpie, in black. Write that command down (wick to base.) See how easy that was? Wow, I bet you feel silly that you almost asked. 🙂 If you really want to get fancy, glue a picture of your target person on there, and write that down so it goes over their photo. Yes, use the Sharpie. Obviously you can't anoint the outside of a glass-encased candle, so set the candle as I've gone over in the blog, and sprinkle the powder into the mouth of the glass chimney very lightly while saying the command as noted above nine times.

    Now, if you truly lack the self-reliance or confidence to get a name of a target (which I realize some of you are not courageous or problem-solvers, so you wouldn't be the first one with this "complaint," – and there will even be a very small amount of you with understandable fear in confronting your antagonist,) Write "All current residents and lessors of (address) vacate the premises immediately!" It's not going to be as effective as actual naming of your target, but then you don't have to come out of hiding and risk someone knowing that you had the audacity to find out the name of your own antagonist. Look, I get it, some people are actually dangerous. Most aren't, and if I'm being fair, most people who are so loud and rambunctious that you think your ears will bleed right off your head are going to sleep at some point (which is probably the only time they are quiet) so a quick peek at their mail won't be difficult if you wanted to snag a name…but look, that will work. The SOLE TIME I ever heard of this being ACTUALLY NECESSARY was when a crack/gang house moved in 2 houses down from my client's house. Basically, they were partying 24/7, and people were carrying guns. Seeing as I have heard tell of this a singular time after over a decade of serving the public and writing this blog, I am sorry if you are in that predicament. If it's any consolation, know that right now, there are 10 people reading this article who are afraid to speak to someone who wears boots in their house when they get home, or who likes to play piano concertos half the day, or who dared to have a toddler or child who's as loud as can be, and it's a little noisy, – and they think they have it as bad as you. See how much more strong and courageous you are, person dealing with dangerous people? You actually are the strong one. There are people who are scared to talk to someone who won't turn down a TV, or who likes to turn up a country-music station every day at 5pm, while you have gang-bangers going in and out shooting off guns at 2am, or some toothless scary people who are currently cooking meth who will kill you because…meth. Yep, seriously. So, take care of the crackheads/meth-heads without endangering yourself, and know you're a tough cookie, or hide out because you're too shy to ask someone take off their boots and you think it's scary. Whatever reason you need for this substitution. 😉  

    With the chant, name the person as "resident/s of (address)" – it really is that simple. Again, you want a name, but this will do. 

    **There is a A LOT OF FAKE SHIT out there. DO NOT buy your condition oils from cheap sellers, or people great with AdWords. At this writing, basically the ONLY person I know selling legitimate formulas – that is nothing synthetic or cheap or not just completely fake, is linked. Time may pass and this shop may no longer exist by the time you are reading (I am writing this in May 2016.) I do know a few shops great with AdWords and the products are sub-par or even downright not real formulas. Condition oils do need to be made by hand, not by machine. Please purchase wisely.

     ***A common question – one I don't entirely understand its source but have still gotten many times over the years, – is can you EVER look in that crossroads again (or at that spot again.) The idea of not looking over your shoulders as you walk away is to show determination. Obviously, if you pass through that crossroads the day after placement, you will probably be well-advised to look both ways before you cross. 😉 That is fine. The idea is to throw the item into the crossroads, and keep going as if you don't care and did nothing and you are satisfied it is placed and your antagonist is going to pay for what they have done. If you truly hate the idea of leaving plastic tape over paper in a crossroads, and you lie awake at night wondering what if someone peels the tape apart and looks inside, instead do this. Mail this to a friend, and ask this person to just throw the item in a crossroads for you somewhere away from your hometown. Yes, you will probably have to tell them why they need to do this for you, but at least you are less apt to risk your "victim" ever discovering there is a name paper in a crossroads with their name on it. 😉

  • Reviewing People Who Use Review Sites to Find Spellcasters – 5 Reasons You Should Smarten Up and Not Roll with that Crowd

    Hello Occulties,

    Let's be honest. We all know I think review sites are some smelly turds that hurt more than they help. Well, if you didn't know that, now you do. I especially cringe when I see a whole boatload of people have written originalninjacat review because I cleared my history and Google showed me it was a common search. Used to be, people came to my blog, or were on my blog. Well, now the whole internet is infected with smelly turds and the dingleberries they leave when they shuttle through the interwebs, so I probably shouldn't shudder. Review NinjaCat. Review OriginalNinjaCat. Review Real Spells. Real Spellcaster Review run by people who don't know anything about spells. 

    No, ladies and gentlemen, instead I am getting a big jar of internet bleach, and I am cleaning this gas station toilet out so we can all not wretch at the horrors past of people who didn't know better. Let us sanitize this area (despite my writing this article at least three, – if not more – times over the years,) and for goodness sake, I'm going to try and help the HONEST CONSUMER who has been forced to put their buttocks down on this soiled shitty seat thinking it was the only rest stop, and that's the best they could do for themselves…you need not sit around with this lot of junkies and horrible people and think that all toilets (er, review sites and reviews) are this way, so it must be. 

    Instead I give you knowledge. Knowledge is power. 

    Why should you avoid those places? How can you actually do something to help yourself find a real person? Read this. It will help. At least I hope it does. And honestly, I don't need your business so if it makes you sad that I wrote this or makes you think I'm judging you in particular (instead of, for the most part, vastly generalizing,) that's fine. I am sure you meant well in your own aims, and I hope you find what you are looking for, and I even hope that my observations (through people burned by such sites, and through observation of said sites at times) are not going to be your experience, because I don't want you to get burned. I don't want you to invest your money with someone and not get what you want. That is why I want you to just consider and read the following, and then see if it makes you reconsider using those sites…

    5. No one with a lick of sense would advertise on there, or want to be on there.

    The best clients I've ever had found me because they were long time readers of my blog. The worst applicants (very few were ever clients) I've ever had came from LordGameOver forums. The pedophiles, would-be child killers, wanna be rapists, absolute psychotic weirdos, people who sent me death threats for declining to accept their (almost-always horrifying) requests and my refusing take their money? LordGameOver almost every time. But the worst ones almost always come off of a review forum, even if not that one. 

    This isn't to say there aren't nice folks on there. In fact, I may have taken your case or referred you to a real person if I thought you were a nice person that was mentally sound. And I don't want to be a dick, but the mentally-sound great clients coming off of review sites were probably one out of every 25 or so applicants coming off of those forums. 

    Let's keep that in mind, (that the bad ones came off of a particular place, but that the majority of scary people I basically told to leave me be and never talk to me again were forum-people from varying forums,) and then ask ourselves "Would I advertise my business in a place that would bring me 95% horrible people who I can't let hire me, so I never get paid for dealing with them, despite several stalking and threatening me after I declined, for that tiny percentage that would come in and not waste my time?" The answer is probably no, you would wisely not want to be advertised there. Not all business IS good business. It's why legit workers hate review forums…I've never had any legit worker friend express anything more positive than disgusted amusement at them, and most find them awful and something that exacerbates the scammer issue. In fact, in the recent past it's been something where a jealous worker advertises someone else on there to get them back for something. So, maybe you did find someone honest, because someone else put them there to get them back for doing better than they were. 

    Keep in mind, as a worker, I actually have a contract you sign when you apply that says you can't discuss me in any place like that…not me, my business, my emails, my readings, my spells, and etc. If someone breaks their contract, I can basically sue them. Even if they compliment me. That's a binding contract. The reason isn't that I don't like compliments (I LOVE WHEN YOU SAY NICE THINGS!!!!) it's because about 10 years ago, before these review sites were a thing, a whole legion of people went and started discussing me in a forum I was not a part of, and then got in fights over how I would feel about this or that (yes seriously) in this being in another worker's forum, and I had to ask her to please talk to them because it was starting to upset people to the point that I had to comfort them that so-and-so did not rat so-and-so out about saying this or that in that forum. She and I were embarrassed for those people. But I saw the drama it caused, and I said "Eff this," and I put it in the contract that what is between you and me (that is your entire case) is to stay that way. I don't mind if you tell your sister or your best friend or your mom that I worked for you – in fact, I like that. Please discuss me privately off the internet with friends and loved ones. I don't mind what you say about me privately. When you post it? Well, then it's out in the public eye forever, and I am bound by my own rules of discretion, too. Now I have to deal with that drama while trying to stay discreet. 

    That, and there is something really disturbed about a lot of people who talk behind someone's back in a forum. When I ran a forum years ago, you could not discuss practitioners, or disparage someone on a personal level if they were an author. So as much as I hated this person's work and thought she was a miserable you know what, I wasn't going to discuss how she was a rotten human being…I'd just say I wasn't overly fond of her book and leave it at that. If only others ran their forums the same. 

    So, while I initially made the rule to stop melodrama, now it's also that I don't really want to be advertised in the worst places possible for advertisement. 😉 I would rather people find me from my blog. I know NO legit worker who actually likes review forums. I'd love to find someone who is a practitioner I respect who does love them because I'd want to know why. 😉

    4. You can't really review something unless you have a strong understanding of how it works.

    I have never in my life seen a single review site (even the well-intentioned ones,) where anyone was an expert spellcaster, and then not only that, but a spellcaster familiar with at least 4 or more popular paradigms of spellcasting, with this person (or people, since it really should be juried by at least ten) have all personally worked with each worker they review, much less have I ever known the vast majority of these people to have even spoken to whoever they are speaking of. It's like a bunch of people who've never eaten any food other than kibble, and who have never eaten at a restaurant reviewing cooking at a restaurant. They back up their claims because this lady who never ate Indian food tried this Indian restaurant not knowing what to expect, and now she's their source of info, plus there's that guy who also never tried Indian food, and these three people who went to the Indian restaurant just to drink booze but didn't eat reviewing the food as well. Wow, that sounds like the kind of experts to trust (and that's sarcasm.)

    The occult is a HUGE topic. So, even if someone knows Wicca, that has nothing to do with Hoodoo, and even if someone understands how to use Hermetics, that's not going to be the same as Santeria. Not at all. So, without a strong understanding of what you're trying to review (which is to say, you know enough about it to instruct others who know nothing at all,) the best you have is "So and so is a bitch," or "So and so is very nice" and "It didn't work" or "It worked." 

    And apparently spell-failure (which is not implicative of a scam or lack of talent,) means you're fake. It doesn't mean someone did everything opposite to their worker's instruction (even if they did) and it doesn't mean the worker did all the work they said they would (which even if they did, that's not considered relevant,) it means that someone confuses spell-failure (and I've had other good practitioners fail when I asked them to help me, and I know they are not full of it,) with "real" and "not real" because they live in a fantasy world where if you push the right button on a machine, what you want falls out, and if it doesn't, it's "Fake." 

    Let's learn something kids…you know if you go to a lawyer, and you ask him or her to help you with your case, that if this person loses that case that it doesn't actually make them a bad lawyer, much less a "fake lawyer"? Or did you know you can go to a great oncologist for your cancer, and still die? Spellcasting is a bit like that. I've worked on cases where there is no plausible reason that my client is not getting what they want…in fact, they should get this without spells. It's rare, but I've seen it happen a handful of times, and thankfully I usually had done something else for the person and succeeded for them so they didn't hate me for not getting this other thing. 😦 I've worked on cases where I thought I'd have to be God to fix this situation for someone, and it wraps up in a week. So, like anything else, you're asking someone to try to fix the situation, and they can apply their knowledge, and fix something for you a good deal of the time. It is not a guaranteed outcome. It's putting the odds in your favor as much as possible. So a good lawyer might get you less jail time even if you get jail time, but the fact you went to jail does not mean your lawyer is fake. Maybe that oncologist saved someone with a stage 4 glioblastoma, but your cancer still manages to get you, despite being stage one and very trivial-seeming when found, and that doesn't make them a "fake doctor," it means that a whole host of issues created this outcome, and this doctor, while gifted, could not overcome them. 

    How nice the spellcaster is would not be relevant to how well they can help you, so cross that off. If you need someone who pets your head and reassures you all of the time, you actually need a therapist. If you want someone who does good spellwork, well, it's best you get along with them yeah, but they aren't a therapist, and you might have to hear things you don't like hearing (for example, I've told at least 4 people in 2016 alone to knock off drinking so much because they are acting out and chasing off their love interest, and it's no one's fault but theirs this keeps happening.) So, if you are going to someone because they are "super nice," that is nothing about "Super effective." 

    How quick they respond might not be relevant. When part of my house burned down, my response times became terrible. This wasn't because I'm a bad spellcaster, – rather it was because I had noise and disruption happening constantly for weeks at a time. 😉 If you're concerned about response times, it's valid to say that to your caster. He or she will generally be glad to explain why there is a long turnover if there is. However, I've known quacks who replied in an hour, and I've known really good spellcasters who, even with me as their friend, took a week…and I was getting service faster then their clients for my replies, and my questions were not about any spell they were doing for me, no less.

    If it didn't work, what in the actual heck did the client do? Did you ask that? Did they think it to death? Did they want to be a werewolf (someone asked me that once)? Did they chase their ex around with an axe? What did the practitioner say to them about the chances of it coming together. Do you know how many times I've told someone there is maybe a 20% chance it would work and they said "I'll take those odds?" Well, if it didn't work, was I bad? I told them it was unlikely. Remember, anyone pissed off enough to write a rude review aleady has a huge chip on their shoulder, and is about as reliable as someone asking an ex lover of yours who you just dumped about whether or not you're a good person. 95% of my complaints come from people I never even worked for. I had a woman tell me I was a "Fraud" because she didn't read the application (or anything she agreed to in her contract,) when I'd clearly stipulated on that application that I don't accept cases of the type she asked me to help her with, and when I pointed out to her I said I don't cover that on the application, she threatened me and called me names. I had another guy tell me I must be in this for a quick buck when I said I couldn't help him. OK, what money did I get in either case? None. I said no to both. One of them took several hours of my time up needing to be calmed down after she threatened me. I wish that was uncommon. But instead, it's quite common to get threats, be called names, or the like for NEVER WORKING FOR THE PERSON. 

    So, you trust people like that to give you an honest review? I wouldn't. It's why I don't believe any online reviews of anything. It's either a joke because it's a slighted person (so it's completely off,) or it's overly gushy and overly positive (and that's probably an exaggeration, too!)

    It worked or it didn't work isn't relevant then until you know everything about the case, what the worker did, what the client did, and etc, – you need BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY. And you probably don't know that – you probably have one partial, completely slanted side of the story, if that person is telling the truth. And who's leading this review site or forum? Is it several people all of whom have at least 10 years of intense practice and study in different paradigms who are not selling any services themselves? And have these people personally worked alongside each worker to gauge their effectiveness and honesty? If not, then there is no way you can jury these claims properly or believe them valid. Do they have people prone to self delusion on their forums? I remember one woman telling me there was a silly bee on those forums saying she knew a guy was real because she'd get a migraine every time he cast a love spell. Um, hmm…that probably means she just gets migraines from stress. My love spells (and anyone else's I know of) have never caused blinding sick-headaches. And others bought into this and helped carry the delusions around. My client who brought this to my attention thought it was the most hilarious thing she ever heard of, – used to laugh herself silly about that forum. It's still one of the most popular ones to this day. 

    See, what I mean, kids? If you're blind, why are you letting people who are blind and deaf at the same time lead you around? 

    3. If you think about it, this is a great way to hook the perpetually ignorant.

    If I didn't know a damn thing about cars, and for some reason cars were some topic that a lot of people knew nothing about (apparently we've gone back in time to when the automobile first came out,) I might think that asking strangers about cars was brilliant. Of course, bad people have existed since the dawn of time, and perhaps there a bunch of people who are going to tell me that if I buy this kind of car from them, it will give me amazing powers, like time travel, and the ability to cure all diseases, and perpetual youth. Since the willfully stupid have existed as long as the bad people, there would, no doubt, be a devoted band of followers telling me YES YES YES, I must get this car because then I will have these amazing powers. And maybe, if I've never seen or known anything about this new-fangled automatic horseless-carriage, I might even buy into it. There's a whole group of people who do. So, when I purchase an automobile I find myself greatly disappointed when all it does is roll around without a horse pulling it. I wanted to fly. I wanted to be young forever. I wanted to cure all diseases. All these people said this is how this machine works, goddamn it! I must have been scammed. 

    I see you rolling your eyes, some of you, but guess what? This is what those forums are like. Some more so than others. So, if you have people who really want to live in a fantasy, this feeds the fantasy. This does not educate. I wish it did. Does that sound odd to you that I want you to be educated? It shouldn't. I've written this blog for over a decade, and while I've taken month's long breaks in the last few years, I've written this blog mostly with the intention that I want to educate people so that they can understand how they can improve their own work for themselves, or even help along work that someone else is doing for them. There are spells you can do FOR YOURSELF here. This is almost a third of my life spent writing this for you, and it's free for you. Doesn't seem to me that I want my readers to be ignorant. 

    So people who want to believe certain things about spells – things which are blatantly false – they are very attracted to these places…these "review sites." This means if you're the honest consumer, much like as I said with the car example above, you don't realize that you've now fallen into a den of people who are willfully ignorant, and you believe (as do they) that they are "helping you." Meanwhile other people who enjoy the same kind of fantasy are coming in and remaining. They have a kinship to their own kind. This reinforces the idea that you are around people who know what they are talking about. Well, er, if you read #4, none of them (at least that I've seen, and by all means show me one where this is true that someone or many someones with a decade or more of intense study into several paradigms are the judge and jury, and with no motives to sell their own services or supplies,) are being run by anyone with the intellectual authority, much less the practical working knowledge of the occult, to make such decisions. But they grow and grow, because the perpetually ignorant are attracted…and that brings in the scammers to leave bait on those sites to squeeze those people for money. 

    2. They convince you to do stupid things when interacting with a worker.

    I remember reading a forum where it was the opposite of what you should look for or ask a worker being told that someone should ask those things. Like "What is your success rate?" as a question. I've answered that here. I always ask "Well, do you mean for myself where I am the person casting spells for myself? Or are we talking about others? If it's others, am I allowed to not acknowledge people like the woman who broke into her ex's house and got arrested for it when I told her she had to stop contacting him entirely (which she also didn't do) who then blamed me for "failing" while admitting she constantly did the opposite of my instruction? What about the lust for results crowd? What about the people who screamed in the face of someone I was supposed to reconcile instead of being loving towards them? Do they count if I did not get them what they wanted? Or do we just count the people who followed my instructions and didn't think things to death? Also, what is success? Some result? Full result? Unexpected better result? Person who realized their ex is a dick, but is now a dick that loves them and wants them back?" 

    Another recommendation was to see if the person had a money-back guarantee, as only a "real worker" has that. (Actually it's usually that the reverse is true.) 

    Or even one where they said x was the right amount of time for manifestation…something ridiculous like 3 days, but…

    There is no standard time for manifestation. So, if someone tells you there is, – someone who isn't your worker – you might think, "Well fuck this didn't happen in a day! SCAM SCAM SCAM!" Yeah, but it's not. So you've just basically told off a worker who is a very nice person, who is doing their best, and who didn't do a thing wrong because (read the above) you let someone else convince you that's not how this work. This is a bit like not listening to what a doctor tells you, but instead asking that weird guy dressed as a chicken that hangs out in front of a convenience store every day begging for change how long it will take for your boil to heal if you see a doctor. The guy in the chicken suit has a lot of mental illness issues, and probably can't tell you the right answer to much, but you're taking his word over a doctor's. Really. Who's the fool? Who's the quack? It must be the doctor, right? 😉

    So, in reality, you should just be polite to the worker, and speak to him or her regarding your concerns. Ask them what to expect. If it doesn't pan out that way, ask them why or if something could be improved on. I'd rather someone just tell me I'm a bitch and that they are angry about (x thing,) because while I don't really appreciate my time being wasted with emotional asshattery, sometimes I have unintentionally slighted someone, or they've misunderstood how something works, or I identify a problem that can be addressed and fixed, and it gives me the opportunity to correct this or help them understand why things aren't working right, which is benefiting us both. If you feel results are not happening, talk to me (or your worker if it's someone else,) and let's look into that. That's the right way to handle things. ;) 

    But if you or someone else were to go ask a group of ignorant people (see #4) if what happened was "normal," or if it implied a scam, you might not give me that opportunity. Whereas it might have been you initiated contact with your target when I told you that would stop this from working for you, and you'd forgotten that and made contact, now I'm being roasted by a bunch of people (well, and you just breached your contract and I can sue,) who have no idea what I did, what you did, and what you were supposed to expect. So, they are basically telling you to not give me any opportunity to examine the situation and see if I can help. That's not helping you or me…but especially not you. ;) 

    "Well, but if there are scammers out there, why would I trust the worker?" Fair. So, here's what you do. Don't hire me. I don't need your business. Then you can take this advice, and apply it to finding a real worker. Look at that. Here I am, with 25 years of spellcasting experience here, and I am making not a penny from you taking this advice I've given, and so I've no motive to lie. But, if I suddenly became able to spend nothing but time with you helping you find a worker (you'll want to see #1) and I could just take hours of my day out without pointing you in a SPECIFIC direction (I work for a lot of people so I actually don't have this spare time,) I could still tell you what to look for. Now, I obviously understand spellcasting, especially in my own paradigm. Where is my motive to mislead you? I've not offered you any pointing in any direction to any peer or friend or anything of the sort. No profit for me.

    1. If you really want to find a real spellcaster, to know if you're being "scammed" it means actually making an effort to understand a few things, and damned if that is too much to ask of the Google-addicted generation this world has become. 

    Oh. Em. Gee. Not WORK!!! Not when you can hit up Google!!! But people really good with using Google AdWords have been grabbing suckers for years like that, and Google then makes it even worse because they can't guarantee you're not just finding "popular bullshit," since they use algorithms, so now being good at AdWords means you've found a savvy marketer who may not even be selling you what you want! But Google is so easy! How dare I ever remind you that it doesn't make it the right way to find what you want.  

    Well, but this is kind of easy, kiddos. MOST legitimate workers in this day and age have written a book and/or have a blog, have spells you can do for yourself published somewhere OR if they don't, they have all this free literature on spellcasting (not just on their spells that you purchase, but on spellcasting and how to spellcast for yourself.) Now, some fakes have some (laughable) books and sites, too, so that's not a guarantee. Hell, I can think of one chap who's gone on some of those review sites pretending to be his own client, and who has still plastered his name onto some very gifted people's work all the same, – he might very well have convinced some of you reading this that he's super magical awesome. Still, he's one of two, maybe three, people who I can think of off of the top of my head who's very present with the real workers, who's published, and that being out of easily 100 people. So, look how much you've just narrowed down the pool to "people I can probably trust." I'll even adjust that number to it being less than it is, – say that gives you a 9 out of 10 chance you're not going to get a fake. 

    Before review sites were a thing, I'd just be like "If you don't think I'm legit, there's x amount of years of my work online for free for you. Read it and if you think I'm still full of shit, that's fine, because I don't need your business." I've actually kept the design of my blog always different from that of my business site in an effort to make it so those who want to do this on their own feel like it's separate entity. That way, they see me as Teacher Cat, rather than a business. Some people don't want to learn. That's cool, too. That's why I sell services. ;) 

    It still helps if you understand spellcasting. I think Jason Miller's Strategic Sorcery (and Mr Miller and I do not always agree on a lot of things, mind you,) is a good start. So you invest probably $10 or so on Amazon, read this book (and it's a pretty quick read,) and then you have at least some grasp of what's going on. That's a lot cheaper than handing money over to a fake, then complaining they were fake. You're arming yourself with knowledge. Knowledge is power, kids. And there's a lot of primers out there that you can get, some bad – some good, but that will help you at least begin to get some idea of what is going on when people cast spells. So, here you are, you've learned something, and now you're ready to find a spellcaster. There's still going to be a glut of them online. Still, you're already legions ahead of a lot of those review site people, but you say "Cat I love review sites like you love Ryan Gosling, or Chris Hemsworth dressed as Thor. I love them like you love a good Stoli and Tonic. I love them like you love ice cream." Fair enough. So go on there, and see who everyone is chirruping about the most. Where are the hens clucking about what is best? 😉 You see one where you kind of like the news about that person, though you're starting to see a lot of these people are like what I'd mentioned…that's OK though – you love review sites like I love ice cream, so fuck everyone who's going to tell you to stop using them, – and so you visit this worker they are all mooing about. You ask the worker some questions. You ask a few more. You start to get this idea that this person is reading something to you out of a Dungeons and Dragons book. And wait, did they just say what? They do what? They are a Grecian Gypsy Santeria Palero Goetic Invocator with a specialty in fairies? What? Wait that doesn't sound right. They can fix it in 48 hours? But you read that's the exception and a rarity, not commonplace. Hmm… So you go to this next person you liked that everyone reviewed. But then you realize they are accepting all business and have a static price up for everything (including spells) which…wait, you know you can't trust someone that casts the same love spell for every love situation. That's not how this works. So, you look at this other person, and…

    And you've made it. You've learned how to determine who's real and who's fake within some degree of respectability. Sure, you might fall for someone who's a very good scammer, but you're not going to fall for these obvious fakes. You're no longer that "person who uses review sites" that legit workers despise and scammers love. You're a discerning consumer. Congratulations. 🙂

    The bottom line is…I would rather have someone who wants to ask me some questions, who wants to know why I do things x way and not this other way, and getting the information they need than I ever would want someone blindly coming in assuming I'm some sort of god or wish granting fairy. Almost every worker I know feels the same. If it meant NEVER EVER EVER getting another client, but  preventing people from getting their money taken by someone who is obviously not doing the work for them, I think that might be a fair trade. And I know – I KNOW THIS – that if any one of you understands spellcasting just a tiny bit on your own, – that if you realize that getting a ritual oil isn't a magic potion but it's more like buying a hammer (and not thinking that means the hammer only works if it builds a house for you the moment you touch it, but rather that you need to use the hammer appropriately to build the house you want,) or another tool, that you won't be losing your hard earned money by being naive or unknowing about what you are looking for.

    So what is my "Review about people who use review sites?" Simple. There are a lot of really great, honest, wonderful clients hiding on there, thinking they are being smart consumers, and they are getting a bad name because of the people who's advice they're taking. It's making them bad consumers. It would take a concerted effort for all of us to shut those down. My review is that the good people need education, not review sites. Let's leave the bad people, the crazy people, and the people that I would honestly cross the street to avoid (and I get at least a handful of these terrifying types in my inbox every month,) on those sites, and help the discerning consumers, the good people, the people who just want some help get off of them. Just like living in a crime ridden neighborhood doesn't make you a criminal, or growing up among willfully uneducated people doesn't make you stupid, well…using a review site just means you went to the wrong place to figure out how to do this right (at least in my opinion.) 

    It might surprise you, but in the 12+ years I've been around online, I've actually helped people figure out if a worker they want to use is "real," by reading that worker's site, by examining their literature…and I never once asked this person to hire me. 

    And if you wanted to cast the spell yourself, I even offer one on one education sessions. Hell, the moment my publisher gives me the news, I'll be telling you when my book is ready for release. Then you don't even need me, you've got my book (which is still less costly than hiring me, haha.) So, please know, I want all of you to get what you want in life (well, not the pedophile people or that guy who asked me to get someone to rape his wife, or the people who want me to kill children…so most of you,) even if it means I am not getting your business. I hate scammers as much as you. They make the honest among us look bad. BUT, I also hate online reviews. I've yet to find them – regarding most anything, and not just spells or spellcasters, – to be a very informed way to make a decision about anything. 

    I do hope this is some help. I see far too often the good consumer getting the shaft. You all deserve better. 🙂

    Beast witches!! 🙂

    ~Cat

     

    This site, and all content therein is copyright OriginalNinjaCat, except where noted, and cannot be used, transmitted, copied, copied and pasted, or etc without my express written permission. I will prosecute all violators to the strongest extent of the law (and then some.)

    My book is forthcoming, and I've been rootworkin' and spellcastin' for 25 years now. If you have questions about spellwork, please check the archives under Questions You've Asked Me section, or click on the varying links to spells that you can cast on your own, too! :) 

  • Questions You’ve Asked Me: April 2016 Edition

    Hey there occulties,

    Some of these are, sadly, repetitive, and I realize that, but I get them repetitively. 😉 In an effort to stop repetitive questions, I'll just put them up here. Sorry for any review, long time readers. :/

    Q: I had a reading from (some reader) about 2 months ago, and nothing [the reader] said happened as she said. Does this mean she's a bad reader?

    A: No. People don't seem to realize that the future is relatively fluid. For example, if I tell you right now, if you leave your home at 3pm today, that at 3:10, a chunk of something falling off of a plane will drop from the sky, crushing you, then…well, you'll probably delay your plans, therefore negating all of my prediction. Certainly, if something falls from a plane onto the ground (just not upon you,) at 3:10, and you are made aware of it, that would lend some credence to what I've said, I still know people who would say my predictions are wrong.

    That's a bit more cut and dried than relationships though, so let me give another example. Let's say a woman comes to me and says "I love this guy Chip with all my heart, but I do not feel as if he loves me back. Is he interested? Can anything happen?" So I look, and it seems that Chip feels some snuggly feelings as well, he's just incredibly shy and has a hard time expressing his feelings. So I tell the querent this, and she immediately goes into throwing herself at Chip's head. Well, Chip is shy, but that doesn't mean he finds her behavior attractive or inviting – in fact, her behavior puts him off and now he dislikes my client and avoids her. She reacts to his avoidant behavior by outright stalking him, and now he does not want her one bit. Had she merely been a bit more flirtatious (not at a level where she is just shy of full on illegal sexual harassment,) Chip would have probably opened up and there could have been a relationship. However, her exaggerated behaviors, her pushy demeanor, and many other factors have alienated Chip. That would not make my reading "wrong," but rather she took the information given, and she did not act in an appropriate way to draw her intended in. Had I never read her, she might have kept it at a level where he would have finally said something, or had she shown any social skills, he probably would have told her he "likes" her, too.

    The future is fluid. If you do not like an outcome, ask what you can do to change it. If you like an outcome, ask your reader how to make it come to be. Do not just give yourself the idea that no matter what you do, this thing is going to happen, like it or no.

    Also, don't be the dick that goes to a reader saying "Your reading was wrong." I don't really think people understand how churlish that actually is. It is a bit like going on a date with someone, treating them to the nicest time possible but not seeing them again, and then being told 3 months later that you're a stupid fuck for bringing them to that steakhouse, and it wasn't a super date anyhow, – and just saying that out of the blue. Look, if someone is not a right fit for you, or you feel they were off base, the proper behavior isn't to tell them later that they were inaccurate (that's like telling someone who took you on a nice date and was never rude to go eat shit months after the fact for no reason just other than you're a fucking asshole,) but rather you should just employ a different reader next time. Even the best reader will be wrong sometimes, and the person who is my dream client – someone I could read easily and I'm always right and who is a gem of a person to work for – is someone's nightmare client who they can't pick anything up on and who they hate interacting with. If  that reader did their best and you weren't impressed, just employ someone new – it was probably mutual on both sides and the reader found your energy hard to read.

    Q:  Can spells do the opposite of what they were intended to do?

    A: No, not really. When someone tells me something did the opposite (turned love to hate, money to poverty, success to failure, etc.) I know they don't understand spells.  You CAN get a reaction from your work which was unexpected, but the ludicrous idea passed around that it will do the opposite of what was intended is not true whatsoever.

    Since most of my questions involve relationships, let's start with love magic. If Sam loves Betty, and uses love magic on her, why would she be coarse or unfriendly later? Is that the spell? No, in fact, it might be that the spell either did not work (possible) or that it did not do what was hoped (partial manifestation,) and in the meanwhile, Sam acted an ass and alienated Betty in the process.

    In the case of money, if I use a money spell to increase my income, and then I go spend tons and tons of money on things I don't need, I might find myself poor when my money spell only increased my monthly income by $500, but I'd spent ten times as much.

    In the case of success, again – making bad business decisions does not mean your success spell will negate the effect of these bad decisions you made after said spellcasting.

    If you truly believe a spell did the "opposite" of what was intended, it's time to stop blaming the spell, and start looking at your own actions. Sure, you might have experienced spell failure (that can happen) or even a partial result, but what did YOU do to make this situation happen? Think for a moment as if the spell had never been cast. How did your actions create this outcome? When I experience these problems – that is getting an outcome I did not spellcast for, – I look at my own actions first. Normally the main cause of my own problems is (surprise, surprise,) me. While that might upset some of you (that you might be the author of your own miseries,) I actually quite like it if the problem is something I've done or am doing, because I can control myself, and that's an easy fix.  

    Q:  What do you mean when you say "have realistic expectations?"

    A: Spells are a bit like putting the odds in your favor. So if we spellcast upon a set of dice that they will always make the number 7 when rolled together, you should notice more 7's coming up.  While that may very well not do much for you personally (who the fuck cares if those dice make the number 7 when added together,) that could make a gambler who plays craps quite happy.

    In fact, realistic expectations are the key to success in just about everything.  In the mundane world, there are those who think a skillful plastic surgeon will make them look great, and they end up looking like the Joker. The reason is often the client wants far more than modern medicine can give – the expectation is not realistic. If I'm 82, trying to look 22 is going to be near impossible, no matter how tight they pull my skin, and the more they pull my skin, the funnier my face will likely begin to look. While a skillful surgeon will warn you this will be the like outcome, there are those who won't listen and will pay the price. But, if I were 82 and I wanted some neck skin taken up, some jowls lessened, and to look younger, a skillful surgeon won't make me look 22, but he or she could definitely take many years off of my age without me looking like the Joker. The person with realistic expectations will look better – the person who is incapable of setting a realistic goal will look horrible.

    Don't get me wrong – sometimes it's a matter of taking STEPS to get to that goal. When someone comes to me and says "Cat, I want to marry this person who is alienated from me, who won't speak to me, who may even hate me, and we've been contentiously broken up for 4 months, during which time I've been stalking this person, pleading with them, and sending them further away," I am going to tell that person that I can't help. You should not be even considering marriage until you're in a secure, happy, long-lasting relationship. Now, is it OK to want to reconcile this person? See if you can be their friend? Maybe even try to get in their good graces enough to be their girlfriend or boyfriend? Yes, that is a good FIRST STEP, and maybe, just maybe, you can reconcile this person and when things start to develop, you might think about marriage several months or a few years down the line. If you're already miles away worrying about marrying this person who would probably rather remove their own eye than be near you, however, you're the 82 year old thinking if you just pay someone to pull your skin tight, you'll actually literally turn 22 again…not even that you'll look 22, but that you'll actually BE 22. Your head is so deep in fantasy (and not because it's something you can NEVER have, but because you insist on speeding past steps you MUST TAKE in order to POSSIBLY have that thing,) that you're beyond anyone's help.

    Some of you who are my long time readers may remember I had a woman some years ago asking if she could have a spell which would make her a surgeon. She had a GED but not even a high school degree achieved in the classic manner. For my international readers, a GED means you quit high school but took a test so you could get a high school degree after that. Many colleges will not accept these, not unless you attend a community college for a few years after that. They are often considered "less than" a high school degree (or at least were back in the day when I went to college, and dinosaurs still ruled the earth.) So, this woman wanted me to wave a wand and instantly make her a surgeon, and was absolutely  affronted when I told her I could help her get into college for a pre-med degree, but she'd have to take all the course work in that college, then get her masters and finally her PhD, which would take some time. She is very much the same as these people insisting they wish to marry a person who'd rather eat glass and razorblades than date them, and that I must make this person want to marry them.

    So, realistic expectations are you looking at your sphere of availability (that which you can have without magical efforts or without much stronger effort in the mundane than you currently apply,) and trying to reach just outside of that. If I can't have this fellow's love, but it's a matter of getting him to forgive me for some wrong, I start by working towards his forgiveness. I do not slap a marriage spell on him and assume that will do jack or shit. I am so many steps away from that, that to do a marriage spell on him would be relatively pointless.

    Take your end desire – that is what you wish to accomplish, – and that ultimate want looks to be 4 or 5 steps away from where you are now, start with step one, not step 5. Keep your expectations as being not so far from where you currently are as to be millions of miles from you. With realistic achievements you can usually reach your goal, – AND keep in mind, you might get to "step 3" only to realize that you no longer want your original intended outcome (it happens more often than you think.)

    Q: You said you would give some information on cursing some time ago – can you give me a few pointers? I am reasonably sure my target knows magic.

    A: With a target who knows magic, my first advice might surprise you. If they are not an immediate danger – which is to say they are made of more hot air than they are spellcasting ability, – do not hit right away. Wait until they think that they are "safe." While I also don't brook disrespect well (and your antagonist will probably cluck about saying you did nothing to them,) when they have their defenses down (in other words, when they aren't praying and working and praying you don't hit,) and they think they are safe, you will take a much larger chunk out of them when you DO hit. Yeah, it involves you looking like an asshat and taking some abuse, and I hate that, too, but…the outcome is well worth it.

    If you really have to hit RIGHT NOW, remember – cursing is often seen as a "you problem" – meaning, not too many of your friends (that cast spells) will want to put their hands on this problem and curse this person with you, – but you should, if you can, have your friends go after this person so they do not know who to reverse it upon (and most people are incredibly inept at reversing, so the not knowing who their antagonists are is very much going to confound them.)

    Assuming you're hitting now, and going alone – IF YOU CAN, attack through the flesh. No, I don't mean stab someone. 😉 I mean, find where they live, and make sure they touch or walk through something like Goofer dust. Send them a bill or a gift or something which in no way is traceable back to you (mailing a flier from a charity works nicely,) and make sure they touch this concoction named for them. This way, you've actually hit them physically… Think of it like… if I use remote work (like candle magic) where my target is not coming in contact with an item, then this is a bit like saturating the air with smallpox – but my target might have immunized him or herself against this illness, so my work will probably be ineffective. However if I trick through the skin, this is like me sending a blade or bullet at them. They might deflect it, but there is no "immunization" against what I am sending.

    While I can continue to offer some hints here (several more,) I have stalkers on my blog (stalker-Jennifer, anyone? Oh, and Jenny, no, I'm doing just fine, but thanks for hanging out to see if misfortune has befallen me so you can write me some rude disgusting shit to me when and if it does,) and Lord knows I don't need a woman who's been stalking me for at least five years to get any bright ideas about what she can do to cause me misfortune so she can masturbate to my unhappiness. 😉 I'm pretty sure it wouldn't get through, but no need to teach my own antagonists some new tricks.

    Q: I don't like my best friend's boyfriend. He's a jerk. What can I do to make them break up or make her see what a jerk he is?

    A: This is the part where you don't like me. Is your best friend happy with her boyfriend? Is it that you want to bang the boyfriend? Is it that you and the boyfriend don't get along, but she's happy? I mean, obviously, it's not any of your fucking business who this person dates, nor is it your place (especially when you're not romantically interested in either party,) to interfere here, so what's the real reason? I'm going with that either this boyfriend made your friend stop hanging out with you as much (so you're jealous) or he doesn't like you very much (you're hurt and insecure.)

    If the problem is that your friend is spending more time with the boyfriend than with you, and you feel hurt by this, try speaking to your friend and saying how much you miss hanging out. It's not magical, but you'd be surprised how being clear about how you feel is likely going to do a lot more than lighting candles in the dark and chanting (and it will work faster,) if you're feeling abandoned or jealous. Do not accuse, do not tell your friend what he or she is thinking, but rather say something like "Look (person's name,) I really miss hanging out with you, and I feel as if ever since you started dating (boyfriend's name,) that we don't spend as much time together as we used to. I realize that there is a point in the beginning of a lot of relationships where you spend all of your time with your new squeeze, but I feel as if you aren't interested with keeping me in your life, and I'm kind of hurt. If it isn't too much to ask of you, can we please hang out a bit more, like we used to?" Something of that nature will probably solve the issue.

    If the problem is that the boyfriend doesn't like you, and this is cramping your relationship with your friend, try working a sweet  jar on him to make him warm up to you. Instead of trying to force him out of your friend's life, you're probably best off on becoming friends with him yourself. That way, if your friend is truly happy with this person, you're not interfering with that just because you're selfish. Instead you're trying to make sure everyone is happy.

    And if you're really incapable of not micromanaging someone else's life or assuming your needs are more important than anyone else's, then go work some break up magic on them or something, and feel smug when your friend is sobbing their eyes out. I don't really recommend that route, but there are those of you who would do that regardless of my advice. 😉

    Just keep in mind, whatever you do, that your not liking this person does not mean they are a bad person. It means you don't like them and you see their "faults" because your view is skewed to not like them. They may also dislike you in the same way and see your faults.  If it's a matter of you both having to interact because you mutually love someone, it's often better to make peace with this person and try to like them.

    Q: How are things after that fire?

    A: Well, it was and has been worse than I'd suspected it would be. I never was able to take any break from work. The day after the fire (so less than 24 hours later,) I was still dealing with people who felt that someone not liking something on Facebook was a reasonable problem that meant more than me losing more than half of my earthly possessions. And the problem there was, I have never had a person to pick up the slack for me if I need a break, and I didn't then either, so I had to deal with it. Emotionally I was pretty traumatized, but I never had a chance to deal with my own trauma. I literally worked through it (as in I worked a full time job without having much time to worry about myself.)

    That would be bad enough – and it was the cause of the insurance company who did not pay me until 2.5 months post fire, – but to add insult to injury, I have had people in my home literally non-stop. I hate people in my house when it's whole and not burned up, so that didn't change when it wasn't whole and was burned up. I hate people going through my stuff. Part of the process is people literally going through everything you own with a fine-tooth comb. So, I worked with horrible loud noise, constant disruption, no sleep (I was really stressed and had a harder time sleeping than I normally do, and I'm normally an insomniac,) no privacy, AND I couldn't stop working because I had to build the business back quite literally from nothing.

    Meanwhile most of my close friends were going through their own shit at the time, so my emotional support from them was next to nothing, and I can't blame them for that. Horrible divorces, cancer, sick kids, financial ruin – you name it, the people I love were going through it. If anything, I felt bad a lot of the time because I was so exhausted from what I was dealing with, that I felt like I wasn't being a supportive enough friend to those I love.  

    However, I could not express much of this, lest it be seen as "malingering" because apparently, if you don't immediately pull yourself up by your own bootstraps within 30 minutes of having most of your life ripped away and being thrust into what you would personally consider the worst level of hell, and then be told you'll be living this way for the next 3-4 months, then you're malingering.

    Seeing how few spell supplies I even had left post-fire, spellcasting wasn't much of an option for me in the sense of trying to make things financially right…unless I wanted to fix a love-affair, or curse someone, neither of which really helped me because my love life was sound, and the only person worth cursing wasn't my primary concern at the time. The fire took a lot of my stock. 😛

    But the short answer is…now that most of the rebuilding is done, and I have this nifty cashier's check that is truly not enough to cover my loss, but better than the $0 I lived on for so long, – a check that I desperately needed months ago, – I'm finally doing much better, thanks! 🙂

    Q:  You've said before that "controlling methods" or "intranquility" might be a bad way to reconcile certain personality types. Can you expand on that?

    A: Certainly.  Basically, when you are working on a person, you must first take into account their personality – what makes that man or woman tick. If it's a person who tends to be combative and push back when told or commanded to do something which they do not want to, then you will find yourself having less success with controlling methods. If you tell your old friend Cat, for example, that if she doesn't eat her Brussels sprouts (EWWWWW, I HATE THOSE!) you won't give her dessert, ima gonna throw those sprouts right at your head, and cut myself a slice of cake. ;)  Now, perhaps another person will begrudgingly eat said vegetable while eyeing the tasty dessert you made, but someone who won't be bossed (or reacts poorly thereto,) is not apt to be a good candidate for control work. They will subconsciously pick up the command (which is not to say that they will EVER consciously know what you did,) and they will become resentful, bitchy…even if they respond as desired.

    With that in mind, if I COMMAND this person using controlling work to return to me, if they do return (because you can command return but not reconciliation,) you are not like to get their forgiveness, but you may find them in your life again. If you feel just having them in your life gives you enough influence to make that reconciliation happen, then go ahead and try. If you just need them present and listening to you, you might even effect the desired change. KEEP IN MIND, however, if they are the type who reacts poorly to being bossed, you may just be complicating the situation more. It is probably better with this type to warm up their emotions towards you (or cool down their anger, which ever suits better,) and use straight reconciliation type products as well (as opposed to commanding, or follow me boy/girl, etc,) to soften them, and encourage them to forgive you. They will not subconsciously feel bossed, rather, you are more apt to calm them, and give them insight into logically working out (as their feelings have softened) that it would be best for them to reconcile to you, rather than to make them feel bossed and combative for having subconsciously picked up on being commanded. 

    Now with intranquility, you would have to consider how much guilt is going to make  a person react to what you want. Some people are not going to react no matter how guilty and sorry they feel. In fact, they may begin to resent the person they feel guilty for hurting rather than seek to reconcile with them. Guilt and regret are not powerful triggers for everyone, and if you're not very knowledgeable about who you're working on, you may just be pushing them farther away.

    Working on another person may require you to have some insight on basic human psychology, as well as working knowledge of who your target is. You can keep throwing everything and the kitchen sink at them (well, magically, ) but if you find control and/or intranquility is not netting the desired result, change tactics.

    Q: Why isn't this easier? Why isn't this like Harry Potter where I wave a wand and say words in Latin or something and instantly it happens?

    A: Because anything worth having is earned – either through a lot of hard work and study, or just a lot of hard work.  If it was as easy as stealing a magic wand from someone and saying a few words out of a dusty tome – if that instantly made you a master of the craft, – that would certainly make for some very  Hollywood-worthy mishaps, like someone crying that they turned their boyfriend into a dragon, he ate his parents, and now he's wanted for murder. Fortunately for all of us, God coddles the stupid but rarely does the Almighty give the stupid much power (there are, of course, exceptions,) and he coddles the weak and lazy just enough to ensure they no longer die and starve to death like nature originally intended for the weak and lazy, but they also can't wield any real power, which, in so doing, saves the rest of us from becoming victims of their stupidity – at least to the level which we could if they had unbridled magical ability merely for stupidly stumbling upon a tool used in magic.

    Also, it's because Harry Potter is a book or a movie. Entertainment barely mimics real life. When and if you get old and mature enough to realize this (probably because you work in an industry being portrayed in a movie or book, and it's being portrayed VERY VERY WRONG and not in any way it actually works or is,) you will stop thinking storybooks and special effects and such are real, and enjoy things like Harry Potter for what they are – something made to entertain people, not to educate them.

    It's an answer a lot of dreamers don't want to know – learning to practice magic, to cast spells, and to be successful so doing requires HARD WORK, A LOT OF PRACTICE, A TON OF STUDY, and MORE HARD WORK AND RESEARCH.

     

    That's all for now, kids. Hope to have some more new posts up soon! 🙂

    ~Cat

    Copyright is strictly enforced. Plagiarists are always prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Remember, having me in court means you pay all my hours at my hourly rate, plus for my lawyer, plus for all the royalties you're sued for. My readers and clients report you because there is a reward for so doing. Don't be a douche and plagiarize. 🙂

  • The Good, The Bad, and the Sort-of-OK

    Hey everyone,
     
    Since updating the announcements on my business site has proven about as effective in getting messages across to people as it would be for me to pour gasoline on myself to prevent fire, I'm just going to do this here.  Also, if you're a client, once this mess is sorted, please kindly read the announcements, haha. 😉
     
    So, as many of you know, after the fire, normally the insurance cuts you a check immediately. In a week or less, you should have money to start rebuilding. In my case, almost a full month later (4-5 weeks) I have not seen one penny, and to add insult to injury, I lost most of my spell supplies, several altars, 2 decks of tarot cards (both those I use for work,) – almost everything that makes me money was immolated, water-damaged, or rendered useless by a combination of fire, smoke, and water (which sounds so much sexier than the reality of the stinking smelly mess it really is.) Now, like your average person, I assumed this would take a few weeks (other than banging, smashing, bashing and people here) for me to start getting the business going. 
    It might surprise you but most successful occultists are far from rich. In fact, most of my peers have day jobs because being an occultist (even some of the most famous ones you know) and having that cover your bills is not an easy task. I do this full time. This is my career. So…I needed the insurance. I was thankful for the approximate week of wages I received in donations, but I didn't ask for more purposefully, because I believed my insurance would, you know, at least give me 1/20th of the amount of what my claim will end up being. 
     
    Nope, they gave me the bad independent adjuster, and I saw my first check TODAY. The fire was on January 24th. If you had the bad luck of having to deal with me since January 24th, you know I'm EXTRA PICKY on who can hire (my spell supplies are hilariously little, as opposed to my enviable herb and oil collection amassed over 15+ years,) I can't do readings, and well…guess who couldn't really make money? If you guessed me (and I've not earned a penny in February), then you get a gold star. Jenny of the previous entry must have been fapping to my misfortune nightly for the last month, so, I mean, at least someone got a thrill out of this, haha. 
     
    So the bad news is, it's still going to take me a week or so to bring in some stock. But it's SORT OF OKAY because, I can take orders now without worrying. I can tell you if I can't initiate x until next week, and I can determine that yep, you have an emergency situation, so let's go through and use these remaining supplies without fear nothing will ever replace them. I could, with a few exceptions start accepting business at my regular rate today…if you have money-spell needs, I'm afraid not until next week. If you need to curse the bejeesus out of someone, heck, that's most of what I have! If it's a love issue, I can probably start as early as today, but if it's fine to wait 3-4 days, please do, and I will be full of supplies.
     
    The good news is…HOLY HELL I HAVE BEEN COUNTING OUT CHANGE FOR CAT FOOD! THIS HORRIBLE POVERTY IS OVER!!!! Now, I could have asked for hand outs through this time, but I didn't, and for that reason, I want to let all of you know I am happy that I did not. The people who donated to me are, for the most part, no better off financially than I am on a good day. The fact anyone would donate to me after the fire was humbling, but I'm so glad that I can EARN money again because I'm being paid for the losses. That means a happier rootworker AND happier clients.
     
    The other good news is…readings will start MARCH 14th. So you can get readings again. I need to break in a deck, but having read cards for almost 30 years, I do have a few tricks to speed up seasoning of a deck (it normally takes 6-12 months, but I saved some destroyed cards so I can make that happen a lot faster, mwahahahaha,) so that service will be available again.

    The other good news is that Nephilim expects to have my book ready in March! So, that's going to be available.

     
    The bad news is…well, technically this fancy piece of paper doesn't make up for a month of having nothing. There will be hold ups, problems and issues arising from the fact that not only do I have to replace years of stuff, but I also had to put off paying for regular stuff I always pay for. My overhead is huge. :P 
     
    And the last news (which I'm putting at "sort of OK") is that I was thinking of offering a cursing class. A lot of you were interested. I let those of you who wanted to go after Jenny go after her first – I'd love to see the results of all your hard work on that girl. She stalked me for five years at least (thanks to the clients and readers who discovered this,) but Sensei Cat approves of letting her students and readers show her the effects of all of their hard work before she takes the bitch down for the count with her work. I have something really special planned for her in the next month or so, so I do hope she knows an exorcist, haha, but that aside, the actual interest in cursing made me wonder if maybe a cursing class is in order? Please let me know. We also have a "voluntary" guinea pig (good ol' bluewaffle) for a target if you don't have a target. Anyhow, if there is enough interest, I'm all for it. 
     
    I know it's taken a month for things to get right, and I wanted to thank everyone for their patience, their understanding, and their kindness. This journey did include some total jerks, some people who were ignorant jerks, and trials and tribulations that I did not expect, but what kept me going was the kindness, generosity and encouragement so many of you gave. I am grateful beyond words.
    I'm so glad things are finally getting back to normal! :) 
     
    ~Cat

  • Fire Fund Thanks and Degenerate Piece of Crap Jennifer Lindstrom

    So, I have actually raised about $1150 total (most came through PayPal and Google Wallet) and that was definitely a wage for this week which, honestly, you guys gave even more than I hoped for. Thanks so much everyone! If you sent via GoFundMe, as I'd said RIGHT ON THE FUNDRAISER (which I can't figure out how to close, so if you want to email me to help, please let me know,) that GoFundMe uses WePay, and because my bank is slow to add new pay-processors, that contacting me to send in through other pay processors was best if you wanted to help, but I still appreciate it very much NO MATTER HOW IT WAS SENT! Thanks to everyone helping (friends, clients and strangers alike,) – I am blown away by your generosity!! You are amazing people! I am beside myself with gratitude.

    If I have not personally thanked you, I am going to send you a personal thanks. I am so overwhelmed by the kindness you've all shown. I appreciate it more than I know how to express. I'm so moved that there are people so kind in this world to care about me. 

    Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for understanding that while demolition and ServPro were here (and they are here a bit next week, too,) that phone readings might be impossible. Also that, you know, having candles and spells going might raise more questions than answers while these people are here. I hope to have the business open next week! :) 

    What you thinkOne problem…Some psychotic cunt named Jennifer Lindstrom (who unwisely linked her fb page to the fundraiser,) wrote a bunch of rude, abusive, horrible things, apparently because I rejected her (? I actually don't know, her name is unfamiliar. She's no client of mine, but it's not her first incident of cuntish vomiting of rude and degrading shit while wishing misfortune on myself and my loved ones.) While I'll be glad to give her to my students as a guinea pig for cursing and all (we have a name and a pic) I would like to say that I appreciate her wishing death on myself and family and praising our misfortune because "I'm a bitch" (because contacting someone who almost died in a fire to say what she said apparently doesn't make her a fucking cunt, lol,) If anyone knows who this bitch is, and why she'd insult not just me, but everyone else living here and express GLADNESS at our misfortune, can you please let me know why she feels it's appropriate to say such horrible things to someone who's experienced what I did? I wouldn't have said what she did to someone that I hate or my own worst enemy. I have screen shots, her facebook profile…so, you can see her face since her name isn't that uncommon. If I know you and can trust you, contact me and you can see what this fucking soulless skank said, and you decide if you wanna curse a bitch, then please do! Also, Jennykins, why don't you give me a list of grievances, and reasons why you would say this to a person who never worked for you, because if it's just that you don't like my site and blog…that means you've been psychotically stalking and reading my blog for awhile (not the first time this cunt came in with insults – never met the bitch, either,) as in over a year you've been stalking me and writing me little shitty comments, just to antagonize me, and I think it has to be more than you don't like my site or blog. Look, I'll give you my address, and you say that shit to my face, which you would, if you're not a snivelling keyboard warrior as I suspect that you are. And if you're not just the pathetic hateful unloved joke you must be to stalk me for over a year as you have, and then beg me for a dance by saying the things you did (seriously, she stalks me and says these horrible things because she thinks I'm a "mean bitch" – I've never met or worked for the woman,) then you'll come see me personally, face-to-face, to settle this obvious fixation problem you have with me. 

    I am curious…when my purse, my phone (in my purse,) my ritual supplies, my possessions, all of my food, my home, some altars, and all sorts of things get destroyed, how is it that I am "unsuccessful" if people realize that will cause a lot of sudden financial hardship that insurance won't refund or replace for months? People wanted the page set up, so I wasn't begging for money, but…I am curious how people donating to a fire fund makes me unsuccessful. (See pic below) I would say only a piece of shit would say what she said on a site for donations for a fire victim so I'm not confused on who Jenny is (see pic above.) I spared you the worst of it.

    JLindstromF

    One of three – the most polite of them.

    Anyhow…if anyone wants to take a whack at Jennifer (just curses – no illegal violence or harassing or other illegal stuffs, that's not cool,) you let me know. 🙂 I have all you need. Anyone who would write what she did even to their own worst enemy is a degenerate human being… I don't like a lot of people. I don't use their fire fund site to mock their tragedy after they experience it. I never would… In fact, no one worth the air that they breathe would ever do such a thing. Thankfully most of us aren't Jennifer Lindstrom, the dark haired fucktard who will correct all of our behavior, and wish death upon you if she suspects you "have a chip on your shoulder."

    It was a chip, Jenny. I had a corn chip on my shoulder, just now. A Dorito. It was tasty. You're right, I did have a chip on my shoulder. A very tasty, nacho cheese chip. O, Lord, I am not worthy of life if I let a Dorito fall upon my shoulder! J-cunt says it, it must be true! 😉

    BUT, on a lighter note – THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Wow, everyone. I'm not easily moved to tears, but the love and kindness even complete strangers have shown me is amazing. I appreciate you all so much. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you. 

    I'm hoping to have everything running next week. I love you all (except ol' Jenny Lindstrom who I hope dies of the black plague.) 😀

    ~Cat

    PS- I replaced Jen-ital Wart's pic there with a "blue waffle." Don't Google that. It does look like her face, but someone shaved that waffle in the image, so just add lots of hair. 🙂 She's hit the wall of shame (for, I suspect, the second time).

  • I Now Belong to the Housefire Club

    Hey, I wanted to put this on my announcements on my business site, as I didn’t feel the need to share with all the world, but of course that abominable hosting company I use is not working properly. So, here it is. There was a housefire last night at my house. Everyone is fine. Please STOP sending business inquiries for this week. Things should be sorted in about a week. Thanks for your understanding. I appreciate it! 🙂

    While I’m fine, if you need to contact me, the webmail and facebook are working. HOWEVER my iPhone was a casualty, so please do not use the cell for now. It should be back on by Monday, Feb 1 in the evening. Thanks. 🙂

    ~Cat

    UPDATED TO ADD: If you have sent a donation, please know I’ll shortly be thanking you personally if I haven’t already. I’m afraid I got really really really reeeaallly busy with fire marshals and the fire-cleaners and the insurance people today. I am thankful beyond words at how many people have inquired about sending donations. It means so much. I never expected so many people to show me so much kindness. I’m humbled. 

  • Goodbye, David Bowie – Hero, Genuis, Rock God dead at 69

    Hey everyone,

    As many of you know, I LOVE David Bowie…I've been listening to his music for longer than many of you have been alive, and I'm not even that old, I've been a fan since Labyrinth (hey, I was like 4 or something, haha, so it wasn't the cod-piece…yet,) and his death is felt in a most profound manner by me. I don't even know if a week has passed since I was 14 years old that I didn't listen to something by this irreplaceable genius of a man. 

    Thank you so much for sharing your life and your art with the whole world, David Bowie. Having you for 69 years was a gift this world didn't even deserve, but so many appreciated. You've been lost to us far too soon – being one of the only people of your time who was even still producing great NEW music. 

     "I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring." David Bowie 1/8/47-1/10/16

    ThinWhiteDuke

    Thank you for being my hero, sir. For reinventing yourself so many times, and showing me that the profoundly weird among us also have the capacity to charm, inspire, and delight those who aren't as wild and strange as we are. Losing you to Grandfather Death is as hard as losing a friend I knew and loved as intimately as a best friend. No one will ever replace you in my heart or in the hearts of millions. 

    "I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. I felt very puny as a human. I thought, 'Fuck that. I want to be a superhuman.'"

    ~C

    Visiting

  • Love Spell Course Is On Its Way to the Publisher

    Hey everyone,

    Because I’ve had a few requests, just to let everyone know, I’m no longer offering my love spell course. It is off to the publisher, and hopefully I will be able to offer a purchase link to everyone in a few months. 🙂

    ~Cat

  • Mama Cat’s DDD Oil (Disease, Damage, Destruction)

    Hey Occulties,

    So, lots of you ask me for recipes. And more of you want curses (surprisingly a lot of you) so I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone (proverbially of course.) This is my recipe. If you wish to use it other than for personal use (that is to market it or to post it,) you will either need to contact me (marketing) and I will discuss how you can use it in your store (it just needs proper attribution) or if you want to post it on your site or use the recipe I will need to agree to let you use it and make sure it is given the proper attribution to it’s creator.

    Alright, let’s get to it. 🙂

    You will need:

    Patchouli oil (essential oil not fragrance oil)
    Mineral oil (as a carrier)
    Dirt from a place blood has been shed or people were killed
    Crushed red pepper
    Dead mosquito, wasp, stinging insect or bloodworms
    Rust from a knife or a sharp tool
    Sulfur
    Patchouli leaf
    Poppy seed
    A bottle or vial (1/4-1/2 oz should be more than enough) with a lid.

    The dirt should come from somewhere that either a war happened or people died terribly, and as recently as possible (or if it’s notoriously haunted, that might work also.) If there has been a house fire, a murder, a train derailing that killed many – this is where you want your dirt. The idea is that the dirt holds the fear, the suffering and the death in it. When you pick up your dirt, do not use your hands (use a spoon or trowel, and drop into a bag,) and drop 9 dimes (or an equivalent small denomination in your country’s change – the dime is our ten cent piece,) on the spot you removed the dirt from. Say “I thank you spirits of (this place/address of place) for this dirt, and I leave you this offering that we may have peace between us now and always.” Walk away without looking back.

    The insects are not as hard to procure as you might think. While a stinging insect is best, it will usually require you to dessicate it some. If you smash a wasp or etc, allow it to air dry (leaving it in a dry sunny window will work) for a few days. If it is a mosquito, there is little to it and it will probably be fine as soon as it is swatted. If you can find neither, go to the pet-store or Amazon and purchase “blood worms.” These are mosquito larvae. They will be dehydrated and dead when you receive them. They are a form of fish and reptile food and are not hard to procure.

    For the rust, simply scratch some rust off of a rusty knife onto a piece of paper.

    Preparing the oil:

    In the hour of Saturn on a Tuesday, after the new moon, but as soon after the new moon as possible (and if the moon is in Aries, all the better,) is when to prepare the oil.

    Take your vial, and put in your “dry” ingredients. You will only want a small pinch of each. I prefer a strong essential oil base, but if you’re very concerned about cost, real essential oil is not cheap. You will want at least 9 drops of patchouli oil (minimum,) I make it about 1/2-2/3 patchouli. Mineral oil does not sour (this is often sold as baby oil,) so no worries about a preservative, just fill to the top of your vial with your carrier (mineral oil.) Cap tightly.

    Once you have capped the oil, hold it in your “sending hand” (the one that you use to write,) and bring it up to your mouth (don’t touch your mouth but hold it close.) Try to envision dark energy coming out of your hand and seeping into your oil, and exhale a long breath onto the vial and say “I destroy all my enemies, I draw away from them all that they love, that damage and pain and hatred fill the space of their loss. Darkness and chaos I conjure you into the lives of any and all I would use this oil upon. As is my will, so be it.” Give the bottle a good shake. Now place the oil in a dark place. Repeat this chant and the shake once a day in the hour of Saturn or of Mars for a total of 9 days. On the last day your oil should be ready for use.

    DO NOT handle this with your bare hands. Apply it only with a q-tip or cotton swab to another surface.

    Now, I want to warn you all – this is a nasty, nasty cursing oil and you can cause real damage to your enemies. DO NOT use this to “take someone down a notch” for calling you bitch or something equally tame. My rule with any curse is to “sleep on it” for a few days before taking any action against someone, as all to often the desire to destroy another is a passing fancy brought on by a bit of temporary anger. I take no responsibility for the damage you cause using this substance.

    Happy cursing, kids! 🙂

    ~Cat

    This material is copyright originalninjacat and cannot be copied, pasted, distributed, or published whole or in part without my express written permission. Me so litigious! 😛