Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

  • Hello Occulties,

    Today is the day of St Expedite – opener of roads, bringer of fast financial decisions, and for fast help (not for love use,) and in honor of his feast day, I’m offering a votive to St Expedite (plus all necessary offerings,) for $20. Contact me if interested! 

    IMG_0653
    ~Cat

  • Hey everyone, 

    I’m sharing this because one of oldest friends and someone who goes out of his way to make me laugh when I’ve called him crying, makes me cry from laughing so hard, and would probably kick your ass for being mean to me even with stage four liver failure because he’s also a very true friend.

    if you can even spare $5 it would help 

    IMG_0789
    This is Jeff and he could definitely use your help if you can give it. 

    ~Cat

     

  • Hey kids,

    While it’s unfortunate that these kinds of people exist throughout the year, every mercury retrograde, I find myself beset with about 10x the ghosting inquiries than I normally have. So, if you apply for a reading, or spell work, or even just with a question, and then never respond to my reply, you would fall under the category of ghost-inquiry. I’m sure in more than one case, I ended up getting caught in a spam or junk folder, so please kindly check there. For the rest of you, I’m not sure why you changed your mind, but I have a memory like an elephant so if you vaporized after a consultation without another word, please keep in mind I will likely want you to pay a consultation fee should you return to limit that behavior in the future.

    As some of you know, my eldest bird passed away last month. While we are all utterly heartbroken, my other cockatiel is very depressed, so this month we are trying to budget in getting another cockatiel as my surviving one is already disabled (he broke his wing last year and may never fly again,) and could really use some cheering up. As I’m the sole earner in our little family, this isn’t easy to budget in, so please only contact me if you are serious about purchasing services… There’s only one of me, and paying all the bills means I have to use my time working with paying business, not ghosts. 

    ~Cat

    Follow me on Instagram!

  • Hey Occulties,

    Time once again for questions you’ve asked me!

    Q: Was the recent eclipse good for anything magically?

    A: Assuming it was visible to you, yes, but as I’d said to various readers and clients, our forebears didn’t use such phenomena that wasn’t visible to them (as they likely were not aware of it,) and it would not have been any more important to them than a massive storm 5000 miles away that never affects you is to you. That people make a gigantic to do about such things – generally looking to capitalize on such events in some way – is true, but that is probably it’s top use. A rare event rakes in some business. Magically speaking, this caused disruption of solar energies during a mercury retrograde, so it’s usefulness would have been cursing businesses, blocking communication, ending friendships, and shedding of negative habits and people, assuming you were in the eclipse’s path and it was visible where you were. 

    Q: Recently I started casting my own spells and they are not cheap to cast even when someone says they are! Can you give some advice or assistance towards spells which I can affordably cast?

    A: Imagine if every time you cooked for yourself, you needed to repurchase every implement used in cooking and consuming your food. Further, you had to purchase every ingredient. That would be terribly expensive quickly, even if you used paper plates and plastic cutlery. 

    Or to repair a broken step, you not only needed the material to repair the step, but every tool involved. 

    However, if you had these tools on hand like many of us do, it would be affordable, right? If you had the materials on hand, those are not expensive if you use them frequently – correct? Spell casting is very similar. I have these materials and tools as part of my business. It’s not expensive for me to use a few drops of ritual oil. I don’t need to purchase poppyseed because I already have poppyseed and it’s not all that expensive in the sense that when I purchase it, a bag of it lasts me for eons.

    If you are new to spellcasting, a box of candles, and several ritual oils, and etc – bought all at once, this is anything but affordable. I’ve been in a housefire and had to replace a lot of stock and it was painful to try to afford so I understand entirely. Furthermore, I would be using these items over and over. If you’re just casting spells once or twice you will have all of this extra and the cost will seem burdensome. 

    So if you want to cast spells repeatedly and for a long time to come, the investment is modest. If you merely want something specific and do not see yourself taking spellcasting on as a hobby, you may be better off to just employ another to work for you. 

    I do try to post a few spells that do not require specially-formulated oils or ingredients, but to me, most of this is within easily-affordable range. That said, what I have on hand just from cooking for my household might not be what you also keep on hand. Honey, glass jars which have been repurposed, tea light and chime candles, table sugar, salt, cayenne, black pepper, scraps of paper, white vinegar, lemons, cloves, cinnamon, – many ingredients do exist in a majority of kitchens. If you don’t cook or own only three spices, this may be more difficult for you. I also employ regular household items – old nails, pins, sewing needles, thread, etc. The items which tend to be most difficult are region specific. Even animal parts like hearts and feet and things too or I don’t generally cook with in the states are much easier to locate than you might think, and can even be ordered through many supermarket butchers if you can’t find them in store. 

    So I disagree that it can’t be affordable. The condition oils can be a right pain in the arse and some if the candles if in specific shapes as well but a fair amount t items really are in many households and if they aren’t and you want to learn spellcasting, you’re going to have to purchase a supply of it eventually. So start with those spells containing easier ingredients and slowly increase what you have on hand. It’s hard when you’re starting out, but you quickly accumulate what you need.

    Q: What would you say was the hardest thing to learn for you when it came to spellcasting?

    A: I guess that specific goals can be met, but we have to wait to know how and why they manifest. Like anyone else, there were times I was really invested in that situation, the how and why were of great importance to me, I had a hard time letting it go and destroyed a few good spells with my own lust for results. 

    I also took years believing in some sort of divine retribution lest I use magic unkindly or unfairly and that took some time to unlearn.

    It helped me in many ways to NOT have such direct access to occult experts because instead of using them as a crutch, I had to take what knowledge was doled out in very expensive books and try to make it work even if it was unclear. This taught me to be adaptive and inventive but within parameters which meant I used things I knew already in new ways – I didn’t just make up random shit. But because of the content at the time, it also meant having to unlearn a few bad habits and false teachings later, just as many people do regardless of the age we are in. Still I like that it fostered independence and encouraged resourcefulness and adaptability, which are both very important traits in a strong spellcaster…

    But it was learning to avoid lust for results. While I don’t love the credit of being the driving force behind us discussing that more, it was virtually never discussed then. Now neophytes quote my own work back to me as well as younger experts, without realizing they wouldn’t have learned it if it wasn’t a huge stumbling block for me, and I felt it needed more focus. It’s a bit of a trip to have people quote you back to yourself without realizing they are. 

    IMG_0663
    Q: Will the Inranquil Spirit haunt me or curse my relationship?

    A: Absolutely no. For starters let’s all be honest with ourselves, and admit you’d not be using this working if the relationship wasn’t already destroyed, so there’s no relationship in good standing to ruin, as it IS ruined! This is merely a tale told to frighten people. The real problem is that people do not understand that this spell generally requires supportive spell work to keep the relationship together (as once you’ve reunited, the intranquil spirit is no longer making your ex desperate to come back and be forgiven,) and/or they refuse to let their ex initiate contact and/or they are all over their ex and acting crazy when the ex does make contact, thus scaring him other right off again. 

    Q: What else do you see in my reading?

    A: I do not do general readings. It’s not helpful to myself or my client, and the more vague of a question I ask, the more vague of an answer is returned to me, which is then passed on to the client, so I usually am pretty insistent on relatively direct questions like “Is (ex) interested in coming back?” Or “will I get the promotion?” which means random, unrelated knowledge will not likely pop up that isn’t given at the time of the reading. Therefore asking me this repeatedly (which about a third of my clients do,) isn’t helpful. I’m asking after a specific topic, returning the information I receive, then moving on to the next topic. I’m not holding anything back and tend to be very quick in returning any and all information received as we go. This may not be how other readers work, but you aren’t mopping up any forgotten bits by asking it, as I don’t sugar coat and I don’t hold back. 

    Q: How can I get my ex to come back and marry me? 

    A: If you aren’t even in a functional relationship with this person, marriage should be the least of your concerns. You must first reconcile with them and be capable of having a functional and happy relationship before worrying about marriage. I know that isn’t fun to hear but every mercury retrograde I get a fair amount of people asking me this and my answer is always the same – if you aren’t even a couple, worry about being a couple and making a basic romantic relationship work before you worry about making that romance into a marriage. 

    I hope that was educational! Back soon with more spells and articles! 

    ~Cat

  • Hey Occulties,

    It’s probably something that happens once or twice a month, but inevitably someone comes to me either with a specific time frame (this must/must not happen by x date!) or just with the belief something should happen faster than it will, and when I explain that honestly what they are requesting is almost guaranteed not to happen in that specific time frame, they find someone who will promise it will. 

    Of course, most if not all of these people come back reporting that it unsurprisingly did not happen in the desired time frame and they believe themselves scammed. The reality is not all were scammed in the sense someone didn’t do the work but realistically they’d have to have been lied to on the time frame.

    If someone tells you they can’t meet your time frame expectations they are at least honest, and what’s more, a fast result is often a tenuous result, so if you’re seeking speed over effectiveness, you’re already probably your own worst enemy. AND the part I find the worst is that these folks are losing precious time and resources by choosing the less likely to work faster option, and that makes me sad. So if you don’t like the time frames you should seek a second opinion, and Lord knows I don’t need the added stress to my busy schedule, but it hurts me to see people sell themselves short on good help because they were wooed by promises of a faster result. 

    ~Cat

     

  • Hey kids,

    Looks like we have a real doozy of a Mercury Retrograde coming upon us. While it can be very helpful for reconnecting with an ex or someone from your past, it can make things pretty hectic and uncomfortable too. 🙄

    So expect electronics to go haywire, banking errors to happen, possible relationship stresses and so forth…and also maybe your stinky ex you don’t want back to show up 

    It can work wonders and help (which I stress – it’s not all or always bad) but it can be a pain. Just be prepared and it will pass in a few weeks.

    ~Cat

  • Hey Occulties, 

    So since I’m assuming this is my last post before my mega sale ends (and I have some awesome people I have worked for before as well as new folks and all of y’all are a dream to work for,) I will take from sales what the current trends are and while it almost tied with reconciliation, it was the new love requests I had a few more of (existing relationships were a close third with cursing somewhat distant fourth and money work going for last place.)

    So let’s have a little new love spellwork as a nice conclusion. This one is easy-peasy so even a beginner can do it! 

    You will need: 

    7 pink roses 
    a vase
    7 pink chime candles
    49 pink or green candies
    Real essential rose oil (not fragrance oil if at all possible – you’ll know by the price as the real stuff is worth it’s weight in gold)
    A statue or image of Venus 
    Rose scented incense 
    A needle or pin to scratch into your candles
    A small dish

    This is best begun on a Friday directly after the NEW (black) Moon around sunset. Place the statue or image on a western-facing (when you stand at it you are looking west) altar. Use your pin to scratch up (base to wick) “draw to me the love and desire of all those around me,” and anoint this with rose oil with seven strokes up (base to wick) on your candle. Secure this to your small dish and place seven candies around this. Place one rose in a vase in your altar. Place your incense in the altar and light it. Now if you have not done so, light your candle and say, “Mother Venus, goddess of love and beauty, accept these humble gifts that you might bless me with your gifts and draw to me the love, desire, and affection of all those around me. May this beautiful scent carry my words to you, and let me now be bathed in the love and beauty that surrounds you always. So be it.” Allow the candle and incense to burn out. Dispose of the candies and incense and candle remains when it has. Leave the rose on your altar until it begins to fade.’If you want this spell to be very strong, do this for a total of seven Fridays. If you want to spend less time doing this working, but it won’t be as strong, repeat it for a total of seven days, always around dusk. You should begin to attract friends, people attracted to you romantically, and physical admirers as well before the spell is done. 

    ~Cat

     

  • Love and Love Spells: Shocking the Target

    Hey Occulties, 

    I suspect I already regret writing this article, because a few someones will take it too far, but I’d like to briefly touch on a problem which is a relatively common one, and hopefully this will be helpful to those of you casting spells on a target with tenuous results. This is a tactic best employed in a situation where a “friends with benefits” or an undesired non-exclusive arrangement has persisted. HOWEVER keep in mind that not all targets are capable of exclusivity, and if you are with someone who has a long history of cheating, spells and any change in behavior you could try to make may never work as a cure. 

    I also recommend that if you break up that you NOT enter into a friends with benefits situation before formally getting back together if you’re serious about getting back together. Prevention is far superior to having to repair or remake a relationship situation. 

    So there are situations which more than one reader or client has found themselves in which basically are that they have a “situationship” with a target and despite repeated spellcastings, the situation isn’t evolving into the mutually exclusive romance they want. 

    There are many reasons for this… for starters, if they were in relationship when they started seeing you and one they carried on for any length while also seeing you, chances are they don’t really care, regardless of what they say, and I have a lot of people who are going to get upset with me for saying that, but while yes, they really may care and that does happen, you need to understand that it’s a strong chance they don’t. I’m being generous and saying you have a one in ten chance I’m wrong, and if you write me to very defensively claim I am, remember you could be part of that ten percent so you’ll just look like a clown, and the defensiveness would hint that you’re afraid (and secretly suspect) I’m right. Next you let them have a purely sexual relationship without any obligation and they are quite comfortable with that. They can have the romance til without the obligations? Even better. So possibly you’re drawing up those romantic and passionate feelings, and they feel them, but there’s no necessity to change the status quo. In that second situation you need to shake them up and that’s called shocking the target. 

    So when we work on people, we need to realize that certain changes will only occur if the target is uncomfortable with how their situation is. Comfortable people don’t tend to rapidly make uncomfortable or inconvenient changes or easily accept new obligations and responsibilities for the same rewards they had before. You gave them everything without that title and commitment, why should they expect you not to keep doing so for the foreseeable future? 

    But if they are uncomfortable and lose that affection that might shake them up enough. 

    So while using love spells you might suggest you want more. You will be most-likely met with “I don’t want a commitment right now” or else you’d not be reading. When they say that, you say something to the effect of “Well, if we are just friends, my feelings have really gotten involved and I need to chill out for a bit because I’m getting hurt we aren’t more and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

    At first they might try and call your bluff while agreeing. Generally a short time thereafter they will call to try to see you. And you have to be strong and tell them you wish you could but your heart gets involved and wants more and you respect that they don’t feel the same, but you don’t want to get hurt so you can’t give yourself to them sexually because your heart gets stuck on them. 

    Remember to be casting your love magic all the while. 

    This tends to make them uncomfortable. They aren’t continuing to receive that love and affection and meanwhile their heart is exploding and their gonads miss exploding… This should, in a fair amount of situations, bring the desired result of this person offering you something more. The combination of those spells and you not giving yourself should change the situation.

    Be careful though. Like I said, people already involved with someone else probably won’t alter that arrangement even if they chase you, so you might not get that exclusive part you’re seeking. 

    There will be questions, I”m sure, so please ask!

    ~Cat

    PS- This is called “shocking the target” because you’re switching things around and making your spell target uncomfortable, not because I want you to terrify them or suggest you run your sockfeet on the rug and give them a little shock. 😉

  • Making Spellwork Manifest Better and Faster

    Hey occulties,

    While I wait for my business site to update (yay, techie issues,) I figured we could review some of the actions and behaviors which help your spell work manifest faster and better. As many of you know, I get the (not always fun) honor of being the driving force behind bringing lust for results to the forefront of discussion (I’ve even had several people unknowingly quote me back to myself, lol,) so let’s talk today on that and other little changes in behaviors and actions that help your spell work manifest faster and stronger. 

    First off, keep the situation and spellwork out of your thoughts as much as possible. This is not always easy (not even for me, and I been casting spells longer than a percentage of my readers have been alive,) or even entirely possible. And perhaps this is is a mystery as to WHY this is important. Well, 2 reasons – thoughts have energy just as spells do, and the behavior is in and of itself often a lack of faith. 

    So let’s discuss the first point – that thoughts have energy. Every thought we have is in fact composed of energy and just as the law of attraction (which is more like physics and not like any of the terrible books on manifesting which I have read,) is a factor in spellcasting, so is it with our thoughts. If we constantly ruminate on a specific topic, we can literally stagnate the energy surrounding that very topic. Our spells being therefore attached to the same topic also find themselves stalling as these thoughts stagnate all movement and even at times consume the spell energy as well. This is why I tell obsessive overthinkers that they are truly not fit for spellcasting until they can get more control of this issue.  

    But it’s not just my overthinkers in the audience with a problem. Sometimes I find people who claim to have an a-type personality cause lust for results because they need a specific set of events to happen with perfect predictability and this misdirects and impedes manifestation. Look at it like this: if you order a turkey sandwhich with cheese and mayo on 12 grain bread, you should not have a difficult time getting this. But if you insist it only be crafted by a man with the first name of Peter who is exactly 35, using bread sourced only from Canada, and the cheese must only be from France, and your mayo made in house with cage free eggs, and the turkey only from a specific turkey farm in Ohio with the turkey only being harvested in a specific week in October and that this all be prepared while Pete wears roller skates and only between 11:05-11:10am is this to be made, and every single person involved in every single part of making this item must have sung “come on Eileen” whilst so doing – well good luck on that and let’s see who gets their turkey sandwich. See magic takes the path of least resistance, and in my experience, humans think we are smart and know what that is, but we don’t. Plus, did you want a proverbial turkey sammy or not? Because if you have to dictate and micromanage the journey to the end product it’s gonna be awhile if it comes at all. Instead clearly know your goal, (are you happy w the proverbial turkey and cheese, or do you need to know and dictate every part of its creation plus get the turkey and cheese,) and if you are ok with getting the end product and not dictating every step of its creation then you may be fit to cast spells or have them cast for you, if you can’t manage not knowing how and why it will manifest before it does, if you’re going to obsess about that journey, spell work isn’t for you. I didn’t make that rule and it’s hard on me sometimes too, though more often because dealing with someone who can’t let go and let the spellwork manifest is worse than being the person who can’t (and I’ve been both.)  And you may not like that this is how spells work, or that you’re wired this way, but the reality is that the behavior can be unlearned, and it’s on you to unlearn it so your spells can work. 

    Now on the second point, that this is caused by a lack of faith… You’d not be so anxious and overwrought about the situation if you believed fully that the spell would work or that the outcome would be satisfactory and doubt is certainly not a spell’s friend. In fact the constant fixation and fear is actually repelling the desired outcome rather than drawing it to you as faith would. 

    While that is definitely a very very condensed explanation of lust for results, it should help those of you who need the view. 

    This also should clarify why you must KEEP SILENT about active spellwork, because other people can actually have lust for results about your spellwork. So, if it’s not manifested be very very selective about who is aware of your work. Some of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen were newbie groups where the newbies posted pics of spells they just cast, recounting every detail of what it was for and what was desired, only to complain if didn’t manifest and the “mods” didn’t even discourage this whatsoever. Tightly limit the amount of people who know you have active spellwork.

    Of course keep in mind you must work WITH your spell. Sometimes this is obvious – you need to apply for the job and show up dressed right and with proper behavior during the interviews even if spellcasting for the job. However some things might be less obvious – bringing up the relationship, groveling and begging, and throwing yourself at your love spell target is just as harmful as arguing with them! And you should actually avoid speaking ill of a curse target to others, which may seem contradictory. 

    Do not put a “death clock” or “fail date” on your spellwork. This is simply the practice of deciding that if the spell work hasn’t worked by a specific time, it’s failed. You actually manifest failure by picking that date. I get that people like setting goalposts and I don’t fault you for it, but I neither dictate the law of attraction nor how spellwork manifests. If I’m being fair, this is one of the reasons I dislike giving out time frames, because inevitably some types create a fail by date when given one when the actual answer to how long will this take to manifest is “however long it needs to take,” and not a specific amount of time. You must instead look at the situation as an active and living thing. If the desire is a seed and the spell is sunlight and water just because it has not sprouted yet, this may be from other factors. You do not repeatedly dig it up with lust for results to see if it’s working, then cut off the water and light because you thought that if it hadn’t sprouted it must have failed, instead you let the seed be and you water it and give it light. But our fail by date makers take it one step further by sending out the message via the law of attraction to manifest spell failure. To the universe when you say “if this hasn’t happened by x date, it won’t happen,” you send out “I don’t want this to happen on or before this specific date,” or even worse “I want this never to happen.” Don’t do that to yourself. It’s fair to want a ballpark idea of how long something will take and I firmly relate to this, having really wanted a strong idea of that wot my own situations but the more you cling to that time frame, the more you worry on it, the longer it takes. Even for me in my personal work. It’s pretty average for spells take 21-48 days to manifest, but that’s not going to suit every situation. So let it go. This took me years to learn to let go of timing and I don’t expect it to be easy for you, but when you let it go, it happens so much faster. 

    You must also learn to accept your situation. Countless times I’ve encountered people who are afraid of being broken up from the person they want me to reconcile. They can’t accept that the break up happened. The thing is, you can’t move on to a better future if you’re stuck in the past. Everything will fly by you and you won’t get what you want, not until you accept what has happened, and move forwards. This might mean forgiving yourself or someone else for hurting you, it might mean accepting something very scary and traumatic has happened, and was not avoided…but you can’t live in a burned out home, just rebuild the home you lost in a fire. It means processing the pain and grief of that traumatic incident as it is now a part of your story, but it does not mean your story ended, just a dramatic twist happened. So, accept the present situation so you can build the future you desire. 

    Don’t be wishy-washy, either. If you want a thing, go for it, but if you go for it and have second thoughts later you’re wasting everyone’s time, including your own. The amount of times someone rescinded a desire for revenge when a curse was cast isn’t small. There’s an old saying “you’ve made your bed, now go lie in it” and if you cast a spell for something, be willing to accept the outcome. 

    Im sure I’m forgetting to add many important things but that’s all the review for today. Off to mess with my gol-danged tech stuff some more.

    ~Cat

     

  • Hey occulties, 

    People ask me what are the benefits of jar spells over other spell types. The answer is that a jar spell tends to use a steady and constant influence, rather than sending out a strong pulse of energy at once. 

    Remember there are situations which evolve constantly, which I refer to as a living situation, and those which once we reach our desired goal are theoretically going to stabilize which I refer to as a fixed situation. For example my financial situation is a living situation which evolves and changes constantly, but my job is something which does not often change and is a fixed situation. Finances and relationships and health are all living situations. Buying a car, getting a specific job – these are fixed situations. 

    Jar spells work best on living situations. We use these to keep a steady influence to keep things how we would like. They require at least weekly service and are best worked thrice weekly. This is inconvenient for many people but without a resupply of energy, their influence fades. It’s a bit like charging the battery in your phone. If you forget to charge it, eventually it won’t work. However if you charge the battery again, the phone works again. Jar spells may also be used like this, keeping in mind that if the contents turn moldy, you must create a new jar. 

    824E36B1-CD8C-417E-87DE-C62CB58A2BC6

    Jars can also work as a buried “land mine” spell. Protection and curse jars are common to be buried where enemies may walk near or over them and be cursed or repelled. Some love and protection and curse jars are also hidden in the home, either to protect the residents and their relationship or to destroy one’s enemy. These hidden jars are occasionally “repowered” but in my experience the hidden jars are not fed and generally are replaced on a regular basis. They are perfectly suitable for feeding (at least those I’ve made) however most people I know have just replaced them as needed, myself included, either for avoiding digging the old one up or merely for convenience. 

    People ask which is stronger – jar spells or other kinds – and while these are not weak spells, they are not necessarily going to be the best choice in every situation. An arguing couple may avoid a break up with a sweet jar, but it’s going to probably be mediocre if the couple split up and no longer speak. Sometimes the jarring effect of being hit by a huge burst of spell energy is more effective in causing change. 

    So if you are looking for a constant and steady influence on a living (situation that evolves) situation, then I highly recommend Kat spells. They are easy for newbies and effective for everyone. 

    ~Cat