Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Ghosts of the Non-Supernatural Kind

April 14, 2024

Hey kids,

While it’s unfortunate that these kinds of people exist throughout the year, every mercury retrograde, I find myself beset with about 10x the ghosting inquiries than I normally have. So, if you apply for a reading, or spell work, or even just with a question, and then never respond to my reply, you would fall under the category of ghost-inquiry. I’m sure in more than one case, I ended up getting caught in a spam or junk folder, so please kindly check there. For the rest of you, I’m not sure why you changed your mind, but I have a memory like an elephant so if you vaporized after a consultation without another word, please keep in mind I will likely want you to pay a consultation fee should you return to limit that behavior in the future.

As some of you know, my eldest bird passed away last month. While we are all utterly heartbroken, my other cockatiel is very depressed, so this month we are trying to budget in getting another cockatiel as my surviving one is already disabled (he broke his wing last year and may never fly again,) and could really use some cheering up. As I’m the sole earner in our little family, this isn’t easy to budget in, so please only contact me if you are serious about purchasing services… There’s only one of me, and paying all the bills means I have to use my time working with paying business, not ghosts.

~Cat

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QYAM April 2024 edition

April 11, 2024

Hey Occulties,

Time once again for questions you’ve asked me!

Q: Was the recent eclipse good for anything magically?

A: Assuming it was visible to you, yes, but as I’d said to various readers and clients, our forebears didn’t use such phenomena that wasn’t visible to them (as they likely were not aware of it,) and it would not have been any more important to them than a massive storm 5000 miles away that never affects you is to you. That people make a gigantic to do about such things – generally looking to capitalize on such events in some way – is true, but that is probably it’s top use. A rare event rakes in some business. Magically speaking, this caused disruption of solar energies during a mercury retrograde, so it’s usefulness would have been cursing businesses, blocking communication, ending friendships, and shedding of negative habits and people, assuming you were in the eclipse’s path and it was visible where you were.

Q: Recently I started casting my own spells and they are not cheap to cast even when someone says they are! Can you give some advice or assistance towards spells which I can affordably cast?

A: Imagine if every time you cooked for yourself, you needed to repurchase every implement used in cooking and consuming your food. Further, you had to purchase every ingredient. That would be terribly expensive quickly, even if you used paper plates and plastic cutlery.

Or to repair a broken step, you not only needed the material to repair the step, but every tool involved.

However, if you had these tools on hand like many of us do, it would be affordable, right? If you had the materials on hand, those are not expensive if you use them frequently – correct? Spell casting is very similar. I have these materials and tools as part of my business. It’s not expensive for me to use a few drops of ritual oil. I don’t need to purchase poppyseed because I already have poppyseed and it’s not all that expensive in the sense that when I purchase it, a bag of it lasts me for eons.

If you are new to spellcasting, a box of candles, and several ritual oils, and etc – bought all at once, this is anything but affordable. I’ve been in a housefire and had to replace a lot of stock and it was painful to try to afford so I understand entirely. Furthermore, I would be using these items over and over. If you’re just casting spells once or twice you will have all of this extra and the cost will seem burdensome.

So if you want to cast spells repeatedly and for a long time to come, the investment is modest. If you merely want something specific and do not see yourself taking spellcasting on as a hobby, you may be better off to just employ another to work for you.

I do try to post a few spells that do not require specially-formulated oils or ingredients, but to me, most of this is within easily-affordable range. That said, what I have on hand just from cooking for my household might not be what you also keep on hand. Honey, glass jars which have been repurposed, tea light and chime candles, table sugar, salt, cayenne, black pepper, scraps of paper, white vinegar, lemons, cloves, cinnamon, – many ingredients do exist in a majority of kitchens. If you don’t cook or own only three spices, this may be more difficult for you. I also employ regular household items – old nails, pins, sewing needles, thread, etc. The items which tend to be most difficult are region specific. Even animal parts like hearts and feet and things too or I don’t generally cook with in the states are much easier to locate than you might think, and can even be ordered through many supermarket butchers if you can’t find them in store.

So I disagree that it can’t be affordable. The condition oils can be a right pain in the arse and some if the candles if in specific shapes as well but a fair amount t items really are in many households and if they aren’t and you want to learn spellcasting, you’re going to have to purchase a supply of it eventually. So start with those spells containing easier ingredients and slowly increase what you have on hand. It’s hard when you’re starting out, but you quickly accumulate what you need.

Q: What would you say was the hardest thing to learn for you when it came to spellcasting?

A: I guess that specific goals can be met, but we have to wait to know how and why they manifest. Like anyone else, there were times I was really invested in that situation, the how and why were of great importance to me, I had a hard time letting it go and destroyed a few good spells with my own lust for results.

I also took years believing in some sort of divine retribution lest I use magic unkindly or unfairly and that took some time to unlearn.

It helped me in many ways to NOT have such direct access to occult experts because instead of using them as a crutch, I had to take what knowledge was doled out in very expensive books and try to make it work even if it was unclear. This taught me to be adaptive and inventive but within parameters which meant I used things I knew already in new ways – I didn’t just make up random shit. But because of the content at the time, it also meant having to unlearn a few bad habits and false teachings later, just as many people do regardless of the age we are in. Still I like that it fostered independence and encouraged resourcefulness and adaptability, which are both very important traits in a strong spellcaster…

But it was learning to avoid lust for results. While I don’t love the credit of being the driving force behind us discussing that more, it was virtually never discussed then. Now neophytes quote my own work back to me as well as younger experts, without realizing they wouldn’t have learned it if it wasn’t a huge stumbling block for me, and I felt it needed more focus. It’s a bit of a trip to have people quote you back to yourself without realizing they are.

Q: Will the Inranquil Spirit haunt me or curse my relationship?

A: Absolutely no. For starters let’s all be honest with ourselves, and admit you’d not be using this working if the relationship wasn’t already destroyed, so there’s no relationship in good standing to ruin, as it IS ruined! This is merely a tale told to frighten people. The real problem is that people do not understand that this spell generally requires supportive spell work to keep the relationship together (as once you’ve reunited, the intranquil spirit is no longer making your ex desperate to come back and be forgiven,) and/or they refuse to let their ex initiate contact and/or they are all over their ex and acting crazy when the ex does make contact, thus scaring him other right off again.

Q: What else do you see in my reading?

A: I do not do general readings. It’s not helpful to myself or my client, and the more vague of a question I ask, the more vague of an answer is returned to me, which is then passed on to the client, so I usually am pretty insistent on relatively direct questions like “Is (ex) interested in coming back?” Or “will I get the promotion?” which means random, unrelated knowledge will not likely pop up that isn’t given at the time of the reading. Therefore asking me this repeatedly (which about a third of my clients do,) isn’t helpful. I’m asking after a specific topic, returning the information I receive, then moving on to the next topic. I’m not holding anything back and tend to be very quick in returning any and all information received as we go. This may not be how other readers work, but you aren’t mopping up any forgotten bits by asking it, as I don’t sugar coat and I don’t hold back.

Q: How can I get my ex to come back and marry me?

A: If you aren’t even in a functional relationship with this person, marriage should be the least of your concerns. You must first reconcile with them and be capable of having a functional and happy relationship before worrying about marriage. I know that isn’t fun to hear but every mercury retrograde I get a fair amount of people asking me this and my answer is always the same – if you aren’t even a couple, worry about being a couple and making a basic romantic relationship work before you worry about making that romance into a marriage.

I hope that was educational! Back soon with more spells and articles!

~Cat
A Thought on Timeframes

April 2, 2024

Hey Occulties,

It’s probably something that happens once or twice a month, but inevitably someone comes to me either with a specific time frame (this must/must not happen by x date!) or just with the belief something should happen faster than it will, and when I explain that honestly what they are requesting is almost guaranteed not to happen in that specific time frame, they find someone who will promise it will.

Of course, most if not all of these people come back reporting that it unsurprisingly did not happen in the desired time frame and they believe themselves scammed. The reality is not all were scammed in the sense someone didn’t do the work but realistically they’d have to have been lied to on the time frame.

If someone tells you they can’t meet your time frame expectations they are at least honest, and what’s more, a fast result is often a tenuous result, so if you’re seeking speed over effectiveness, you’re already probably your own worst enemy. AND the part I find the worst is that these folks are losing precious time and resources by choosing the less likely to work faster option, and that makes me sad. So if you don’t like the time frames you should seek a second opinion, and Lord knows I don’t need the added stress to my busy schedule, but it hurts me to see people sell themselves short on good help because they were wooed by promises of a faster result.

~Cat
Oh Mercury Retrograde…

April 1, 2024

Hey kids,

Looks like we have a real doozy of a Mercury Retrograde coming upon us. While it can be very helpful for reconnecting with an ex or someone from your past, it can make things pretty hectic and uncomfortable too. 🙄

So expect electronics to go haywire, banking errors to happen, possible relationship stresses and so forth…and also maybe your stinky ex you don’t want back to show up

It can work wonders and help (which I stress – it’s not all or always bad) but it can be a pain. Just be prepared and it will pass in a few weeks.

~Cat
Drawing Love to Yourself

March 30, 2024

Hey Occulties,

So since I’m assuming this is my last post before my mega sale ends (and I have some awesome people I have worked for before as well as new folks and all of y’all are a dream to work for,) I will take from sales what the current trends are and while it almost tied with reconciliation, it was the new love requests I had a few more of (existing relationships were a close third with cursing somewhat distant fourth and money work going for last place.)

So let’s have a little new love spellwork as a nice conclusion. This one is easy-peasy so even a beginner can do it!

You will need:

7 pink roses
a vase
7 pink chime candles
49 pink or green candies
Real essential rose oil (not fragrance oil if at all possible – you’ll know by the price as the real stuff is worth it’s weight in gold)
A statue or image of Venus
Rose scented incense
A needle or pin to scratch into your candles
A small dish

This is best begun on a Friday directly after the NEW (black) Moon around sunset. Place the statue or image on a western-facing (when you stand at it you are looking west) altar. Use your pin to scratch up (base to wick) “draw to me the love and desire of all those around me,” and anoint this with rose oil with seven strokes up (base to wick) on your candle. Secure this to your small dish and place seven candies around this. Place one rose in a vase in your altar. Place your incense in the altar and light it. Now if you have not done so, light your candle and say, “Mother Venus, goddess of love and beauty, accept these humble gifts that you might bless me with your gifts and draw to me the love, desire, and affection of all those around me. May this beautiful scent carry my words to you, and let me now be bathed in the love and beauty that surrounds you always. So be it.” Allow the candle and incense to burn out. Dispose of the candies and incense and candle remains when it has. Leave the rose on your altar until it begins to fade.’If you want this spell to be very strong, do this for a total of seven Fridays. If you want to spend less time doing this working, but it won’t be as strong, repeat it for a total of seven days, always around dusk. You should begin to attract friends, people attracted to you romantically, and physical admirers as well before the spell is done.

~Cat
Love and Love Spells: Shocking the Target

March 27, 2024

Hey Occulties,

I suspect I already regret writing this article, because a few someones will take it too far, but I’d like to briefly touch on a problem which is a relatively common one, and hopefully this will be helpful to those of you casting spells on a target with tenuous results. This is a tactic best employed in a situation where a “friends with benefits” or an undesired non-exclusive arrangement has persisted. HOWEVER keep in mind that not all targets are capable of exclusivity, and if you are with someone who has a long history of cheating, spells and any change in behavior you could try to make may never work as a cure.

I also recommend that if you break up that you NOT enter into a friends with benefits situation before formally getting back together if you’re serious about getting back together. Prevention is far superior to having to repair or remake a relationship situation.

So there are situations which more than one reader or client has found themselves in which basically are that they have a “situationship” with a target and despite repeated spellcastings, the situation isn’t evolving into the mutually exclusive romance they want.

There are many reasons for this… for starters, if they were in relationship when they started seeing you and one they carried on for any length while also seeing you, chances are they don’t really care, regardless of what they say, and I have a lot of people who are going to get upset with me for saying that, but while yes, they really may care and that does happen, you need to understand that it’s a strong chance they don’t. I’m being generous and saying you have a one in ten chance I’m wrong, and if you write me to very defensively claim I am, remember you could be part of that ten percent so you’ll just look like a clown, and the defensiveness would hint that you’re afraid (and secretly suspect) I’m right. Next you let them have a purely sexual relationship without any obligation and they are quite comfortable with that. They can have the romance til without the obligations? Even better. So possibly you’re drawing up those romantic and passionate feelings, and they feel them, but there’s no necessity to change the status quo. In that second situation you need to shake them up and that’s called shocking the target.

So when we work on people, we need to realize that certain changes will only occur if the target is uncomfortable with how their situation is. Comfortable people don’t tend to rapidly make uncomfortable or inconvenient changes or easily accept new obligations and responsibilities for the same rewards they had before. You gave them everything without that title and commitment, why should they expect you not to keep doing so for the foreseeable future?

But if they are uncomfortable and lose that affection that might shake them up enough.

So while using love spells you might suggest you want more. You will be most-likely met with “I don’t want a commitment right now” or else you’d not be reading. When they say that, you say something to the effect of “Well, if we are just friends, my feelings have really gotten involved and I need to chill out for a bit because I’m getting hurt we aren’t more and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

At first they might try and call your bluff while agreeing. Generally a short time thereafter they will call to try to see you. And you have to be strong and tell them you wish you could but your heart gets involved and wants more and you respect that they don’t feel the same, but you don’t want to get hurt so you can’t give yourself to them sexually because your heart gets stuck on them.

Remember to be casting your love magic all the while.

This tends to make them uncomfortable. They aren’t continuing to receive that love and affection and meanwhile their heart is exploding and their gonads miss exploding… This should, in a fair amount of situations, bring the desired result of this person offering you something more. The combination of those spells and you not giving yourself should change the situation.

Be careful though. Like I said, people already involved with someone else probably won’t alter that arrangement even if they chase you, so you might not get that exclusive part you’re seeking.

There will be questions, I”m sure, so please ask!

~Cat

PS- This is called “shocking the target” because you’re switching things around and making your spell target uncomfortable, not because I want you to terrify them or suggest you run your sockfeet on the rug and give them a little shock. 😉
Making Spellwork Manifest Better and Faster

March 23, 2024

Hey occulties,

While I wait for my business site to update (yay, techie issues,) I figured we could review some of the actions and behaviors which help your spell work manifest faster and better. As many of you know, I get the (not always fun) honor of being the driving force behind bringing lust for results to the forefront of discussion (I’ve even had several people unknowingly quote me back to myself, lol,) so let’s talk today on that and other little changes in behaviors and actions that help your spell work manifest faster and stronger.

First off, keep the situation and spellwork out of your thoughts as much as possible. This is not always easy (not even for me, and I been casting spells longer than a percentage of my readers have been alive,) or even entirely possible. And perhaps this is is a mystery as to WHY this is important. Well, 2 reasons – thoughts have energy just as spells do, and the behavior is in and of itself often a lack of faith.

So let’s discuss the first point – that thoughts have energy. Every thought we have is in fact composed of energy and just as the law of attraction (which is more like physics and not like any of the terrible books on manifesting which I have read,) is a factor in spellcasting, so is it with our thoughts. If we constantly ruminate on a specific topic, we can literally stagnate the energy surrounding that very topic. Our spells being therefore attached to the same topic also find themselves stalling as these thoughts stagnate all movement and even at times consume the spell energy as well. This is why I tell obsessive overthinkers that they are truly not fit for spellcasting until they can get more control of this issue.

But it’s not just my overthinkers in the audience with a problem. Sometimes I find people who claim to have an a-type personality cause lust for results because they need a specific set of events to happen with perfect predictability and this misdirects and impedes manifestation. Look at it like this: if you order a turkey sandwhich with cheese and mayo on 12 grain bread, you should not have a difficult time getting this. But if you insist it only be crafted by a man with the first name of Peter who is exactly 35, using bread sourced only from Canada, and the cheese must only be from France, and your mayo made in house with cage free eggs, and the turkey only from a specific turkey farm in Ohio with the turkey only being harvested in a specific week in October and that this all be prepared while Pete wears roller skates and only between 11:05-11:10am is this to be made, and every single person involved in every single part of making this item must have sung “come on Eileen” whilst so doing – well good luck on that and let’s see who gets their turkey sandwich. See magic takes the path of least resistance, and in my experience, humans think we are smart and know what that is, but we don’t. Plus, did you want a proverbial turkey sammy or not? Because if you have to dictate and micromanage the journey to the end product it’s gonna be awhile if it comes at all. Instead clearly know your goal, (are you happy w the proverbial turkey and cheese, or do you need to know and dictate every part of its creation plus get the turkey and cheese,) and if you are ok with getting the end product and not dictating every step of its creation then you may be fit to cast spells or have them cast for you, if you can’t manage not knowing how and why it will manifest before it does, if you’re going to obsess about that journey, spell work isn’t for you. I didn’t make that rule and it’s hard on me sometimes too, though more often because dealing with someone who can’t let go and let the spellwork manifest is worse than being the person who can’t (and I’ve been both.) And you may not like that this is how spells work, or that you’re wired this way, but the reality is that the behavior can be unlearned, and it’s on you to unlearn it so your spells can work.

Now on the second point, that this is caused by a lack of faith… You’d not be so anxious and overwrought about the situation if you believed fully that the spell would work or that the outcome would be satisfactory and doubt is certainly not a spell’s friend. In fact the constant fixation and fear is actually repelling the desired outcome rather than drawing it to you as faith would.

While that is definitely a very very condensed explanation of lust for results, it should help those of you who need the view.

This also should clarify why you must KEEP SILENT about active spellwork, because other people can actually have lust for results about your spellwork. So, if it’s not manifested be very very selective about who is aware of your work. Some of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen were newbie groups where the newbies posted pics of spells they just cast, recounting every detail of what it was for and what was desired, only to complain if didn’t manifest and the “mods” didn’t even discourage this whatsoever. Tightly limit the amount of people who know you have active spellwork.

Of course keep in mind you must work WITH your spell. Sometimes this is obvious – you need to apply for the job and show up dressed right and with proper behavior during the interviews even if spellcasting for the job. However some things might be less obvious – bringing up the relationship, groveling and begging, and throwing yourself at your love spell target is just as harmful as arguing with them! And you should actually avoid speaking ill of a curse target to others, which may seem contradictory.

Do not put a “death clock” or “fail date” on your spellwork. This is simply the practice of deciding that if the spell work hasn’t worked by a specific time, it’s failed. You actually manifest failure by picking that date. I get that people like setting goalposts and I don’t fault you for it, but I neither dictate the law of attraction nor how spellwork manifests. If I’m being fair, this is one of the reasons I dislike giving out time frames, because inevitably some types create a fail by date when given one when the actual answer to how long will this take to manifest is “however long it needs to take,” and not a specific amount of time. You must instead look at the situation as an active and living thing. If the desire is a seed and the spell is sunlight and water just because it has not sprouted yet, this may be from other factors. You do not repeatedly dig it up with lust for results to see if it’s working, then cut off the water and light because you thought that if it hadn’t sprouted it must have failed, instead you let the seed be and you water it and give it light. But our fail by date makers take it one step further by sending out the message via the law of attraction to manifest spell failure. To the universe when you say “if this hasn’t happened by x date, it won’t happen,” you send out “I don’t want this to happen on or before this specific date,” or even worse “I want this never to happen.” Don’t do that to yourself. It’s fair to want a ballpark idea of how long something will take and I firmly relate to this, having really wanted a strong idea of that wot my own situations but the more you cling to that time frame, the more you worry on it, the longer it takes. Even for me in my personal work. It’s pretty average for spells take 21-48 days to manifest, but that’s not going to suit every situation. So let it go. This took me years to learn to let go of timing and I don’t expect it to be easy for you, but when you let it go, it happens so much faster.

You must also learn to accept your situation. Countless times I’ve encountered people who are afraid of being broken up from the person they want me to reconcile. They can’t accept that the break up happened. The thing is, you can’t move on to a better future if you’re stuck in the past. Everything will fly by you and you won’t get what you want, not until you accept what has happened, and move forwards. This might mean forgiving yourself or someone else for hurting you, it might mean accepting something very scary and traumatic has happened, and was not avoided…but you can’t live in a burned out home, just rebuild the home you lost in a fire. It means processing the pain and grief of that traumatic incident as it is now a part of your story, but it does not mean your story ended, just a dramatic twist happened. So, accept the present situation so you can build the future you desire.

Don’t be wishy-washy, either. If you want a thing, go for it, but if you go for it and have second thoughts later you’re wasting everyone’s time, including your own. The amount of times someone rescinded a desire for revenge when a curse was cast isn’t small. There’s an old saying “you’ve made your bed, now go lie in it” and if you cast a spell for something, be willing to accept the outcome.

Im sure I’m forgetting to add many important things but that’s all the review for today. Off to mess with my gol-danged tech stuff some more.

~Cat
On Jar Spells

March 22, 2024

Hey occulties,

People ask me what are the benefits of jar spells over other spell types. The answer is that a jar spell tends to use a steady and constant influence, rather than sending out a strong pulse of energy at once.

Remember there are situations which evolve constantly, which I refer to as a living situation, and those which once we reach our desired goal are theoretically going to stabilize which I refer to as a fixed situation. For example my financial situation is a living situation which evolves and changes constantly, but my job is something which does not often change and is a fixed situation. Finances and relationships and health are all living situations. Buying a car, getting a specific job – these are fixed situations.

Jar spells work best on living situations. We use these to keep a steady influence to keep things how we would like. They require at least weekly service and are best worked thrice weekly. This is inconvenient for many people but without a resupply of energy, their influence fades. It’s a bit like charging the battery in your phone. If you forget to charge it, eventually it won’t work. However if you charge the battery again, the phone works again. Jar spells may also be used like this, keeping in mind that if the contents turn moldy, you must create a new jar.

Jars can also work as a buried “land mine” spell. Protection and curse jars are common to be buried where enemies may walk near or over them and be cursed or repelled. Some love and protection and curse jars are also hidden in the home, either to protect the residents and their relationship or to destroy one’s enemy. These hidden jars are occasionally “repowered” but in my experience the hidden jars are not fed and generally are replaced on a regular basis. They are perfectly suitable for feeding (at least those I’ve made) however most people I know have just replaced them as needed, myself included, either for avoiding digging the old one up or merely for convenience.

People ask which is stronger – jar spells or other kinds – and while these are not weak spells, they are not necessarily going to be the best choice in every situation. An arguing couple may avoid a break up with a sweet jar, but it’s going to probably be mediocre if the couple split up and no longer speak. Sometimes the jarring effect of being hit by a huge burst of spell energy is more effective in causing change.

So if you are looking for a constant and steady influence on a living (situation that evolves) situation, then I highly recommend Kat spells. They are easy for newbies and effective for everyone.

~Cat
The Semi Yearly Post of What Practitioners Say about Business, Bad Clients, and the Job

March 21, 2024

Hey Occulties,

It probably doesn’t surprise you that I have some friends in the occultist for hire field, and probably surprises even less of you that I speak to others in my field who I’m not friends with on a regular basis. While I’d never name names, here’s some of the most common stuff I hear that might surprise you or give you some insight into our world.

“I have a life outside of work.” Years and years ago when I’d been offering services for maybe 2-3 years, a client was trying to schedule a reading and I said something to the effect of “oh, I can’t that day because I’m getting dental surgery and I’ll not be up for talking after.” The client blurts out “I forgot you had a life outside of work — omg, I’m so sorry it’s just like weird you see the dentist, too!” They were of course horrified at having said this aloud, but I assured them it was quite alright. I’d heard similar before. In these cases most practitioners I know are not angry unless it becomes something stupid like a hate group (they exist,) discussing medical or personal appointments of ours in some conspiratorial way which is stalkerish and feels quite creepy. Like I shouldn’t have to give you a note from the dental surgeon or prove to your circle of friends that’s why I couldn’t schedule you on Thursday, nor is my root canal caused by anything other than an old filling finally failing and the tooth needing a root canal. But I get it (as do many of my peers,) – it’s easy to forget that I’m also a human with regular issues like you.

Practitioners have medical appointments, argue with their partners, have sick days, sick family to tend to, go to court, have jury duty, deal with house fires and auto accidents, have to attend graduations and weddings and funerals, have animals and families, etc. All the things you deal with in your life, we deal with too.

And so we are not always available to get out of bed at 3am, or to deal with your crying jag while in court (this has happened to more than one person I know with a client having a meltdown while the practitioner needed to settle civil court stuff,) to comfort you while in the middle of a root canal (this one happened to me and the client tried to fire me for not talking to her whilst there was s drill in my skull,) or to schedule your appointment on our day off. Remember you are dealing with another human who has many of the same obligations and problems you have when you work with anyone.

“I don’t and can’t like everyone I work for.” It’s very normal to meet people in your life that you don’t like for any number of reasons, and in some cases these people are perfectly nice and polite— they just aren’t anyone you enjoy the company of. It can be anywhere from tedious to downright awful to have to deal with these folks on a daily basis, but most adults can soldier through it… It’s just hard when the client wants to be your friend. Thing is, the vast majority of practitioners I know, while also being absolutely lovely people, rapidly become maxed out on socializing from doing their job, and already have to make an effort to make time for family and friends from the enormous amount of work required of them as well as the very draining aspect of dealing with emotionally traumatized people frequently on a daily basis.

And some people are rude, entitled, petulant, and incapable of accepting fault or responsibility and they come to us too. Mind you, I’m one of a handful of people who has and will fire anyone who continually acts like an asshole. If you think you can cop an attitude with me, threaten me, or act in any gross manner, you’ll find yourself fired. I bend over backwards for people who are pleasant and well-mannered, — but get sullen and pushy and rude, and watch me warn you one time then tell you to kick rocks if it keeps up. There’s absolutely no excuse to behave like that, and 99% of the population doesn’t, so I’m not sorry for dealing with those who do by cutting them off.

Most of the time, though, it’s that practitioners are the only one still listening to the fears and concerns of a very upset client who really needs a friend, and tries (consciously or not,) to be our friend. I do have clients who have become my friends but at the end of the day most clients are just clients. I appreciate their business and I respect them, but I don’t consider them buddies. Most people who do this job feel the same way.

“I detest having to put on a show.” I guess it’s popular for some very young spellcasters to enjoy putting on a show or for people to expect us to want an audience all the time because people born after a certain date think this is normal. Frankly, it’s not really, In the sense that….well… All through human history this has been seen as déclassé and to be avoided – and I mean among basically all of human kind. We didn’t even want to see our famous people looking bedraggled or doing mundane things. But reality shows and social media made some unfortunate trends. So, it may be a new normal for you but since occult means hidden knowledge, it is especially abnormal to your average spellcaster. That, and I assure you, a great deal of what you see is staged and not real. I’m not even criticizing the person showing it as they know as well as I do that a fair amount of spellcasting is rather utilitarian and not impressive to view and when you get overly fancy you’re not doing anything on a more impressive level, just being frivolous in many cases. But if you need to make someone impressed visually, you may use stage tricks if that’s your thing. It’s not mine but I know people who do it.

This job is a bit more like being a doctor than you might think. It is, at its root, a science, and a scholarly pursuit. It isn’t easy to learn in the sense you will quickly reach adepthood. On average it takes around 5 years of intense study and practice to hit being an intermediate, often more if you’re lackadaisical in your studies. So needing an audience should be the least of your concerns while you work to achieve this. While some of you might want a doctor who videos themselves all through their bachelor degree to graduation and beyond working on their hopefully willing-to-be-filmed patients….I’d prefer a doctor who doesn’t make me think my next check up is for public scrutiny, and who spent more time honing his or her knowledge over gaining followers and crafting their image.

I have seen, in my life, several entertainers – people who’s literal job is putting in a show, – begin to resent and even avoid large gaudy displays they enjoyed putting on in their youth. Imagine then being in a profession which is more like being a doctor than anything else, and being expected to put on a spectacle to attract patients. I assure you that most people who crave an audience and followers only for the idea of fame and power are in not really those who do well as a practitioner for hire as knowledge is the reward of our study, and fame is a fickle and tenuous reward sought by people who’s power will be short-lived for their desire for it to come coupled with fame in most cases, soooo it’s a ridiculous feeling to have earned your laurels and have to put on a display for a generation of people who evolved to think everyone and everything should be out for visual consumption, no matter how much this detracts from serious work or study time.

In short, most practitioners for hire older than 30 or so probably resent the commercialization and displays younger clients desire. Virtually every single one I know bemoans at least parts of it. It’s fun to interact with people on a student level but becomes annoying when you’re expected to perform like an entertainer on a regular basis.

“Please stop asking other ‘muggles’ for advice.” I’ve said this so many times before but the reality is if you’d never seen or driven a car before, you’d probably be wise not to ask people with the same experience of cars for advice on cars, especially when the experts among you rode in a car one time and yet don’t know how to turn it on or how it’s powered and think it’s a fake car when they don’t turn the ignition but pump a pedal and it expect it to go. It would be generous to compare muggles helping muggles to this scenario. In reality it is a bizarre miseducation of each other, whilst reinforcing incredibly bizarre beliefs, sometimes listening to rival wanna-be casters (or if you’re lucky, a woman who couldn’t steal my husband away and was never a client saying that despite my lack of any criminal record, that I’m whatever awful thing and a fake spellcaster,) say untrue things in an attempt to harm their target’s business, or just downright stupid ideas like spellcasting is like a vending machine that just spits out what you want regardless of your behaviors or any other factors or else it’s fake (which is totally NOT how spells work.) The absolutely atrocious levels of misinformation spread intentionally and unintentionally is nauseating…

Plus there’s that whole lust for results problem. Basically you’re supposed to keep your mind off of the situation and the spell and you’re inviting others to think on it which in turn means they could impact your active spellwork and even kill it.

”Casting a few spells doesn’t make you an expert.” Oh the amount of times we hear that someone understands spellcasting and then is completely flummoxed when we mention very elementary aspects and gloss over them, having been led to believe they at least have an intermediate level of knowledge of the art. Fixing a stair does not make you a master carpenter, cleansing out a wound doesn’t make you a doctor, writing an editorial doesn’t make you a journalist. Stop putting on the cap of an expert if you are a dabbler as it makes you seem (and act) far more ignorant than a person who may have tried out a few things an expert does in that field but admittedly only has a layperson’s knowledge thereof.

“I’m exhausted.” This job is INCREDIBLY TIME-CONSUMING AND DRAINING. It requires just about everything out of you, and yet someone still wants an off-hours reading or a free redo (at cost to yourself,) which they aren’t entitled to. You will be expected to google things for the lazy, to be an on-demand therapist, to explain rudimentary spellcasting concepts, to state and re-state absolutely unnecessary information more because someone wants confirmation you haven’t run off, and then your thanks will be someone bitching you haven’t replied fast enough because the 20 hour day you worked today didn’t include you repeating the start day of the work you told them three times already since you really wanted to sleep. And if you’re exhausted, don’t say it, because then you’re ungrateful. How dare you want 6 hours of sleep tonight. How dare you not hold every hand and act as a free therapist or search engine and not be grateful that this unpaid part of your day exists. I’ve had clients chastise me for taking the day off for needing to attend a funeral, and feeling drained and upset afterwards to the point I didn’t reply to the email I got that day.

We say it to each other often enough — your practitioner is exhausted. If even half of our clients stopped expecting service 24/7 or tried reading back on a thread, we’d save hours every day. I understand both sides of this – it’s really hard when you want something to be fixed and it’s taking it’s time to manifest; it’s really hard to have to be patient with a lot of anxious traumatized people when you can’t remember the last time you took a vacation (ten years ago for me, at this writing.) So we try to be patient with you and hide our exhaustion…maybe try to find your answers for things like scheduling or get less pissy if your practitioner doesn’t reply in 48 hours and both sides will benefit.

”Please use one form of communication to conduct business with me.” I have friends who prefer chat services to speak to their clients. I am not a chatty person and much prefer email, but all of us find it incredibly annoying to have clients on several different platforms because it doesn’t keep the information in one place. Eventually you lose track of something or don’t reply because someone’s using the wrong platform and drama ensues. If you stick to ONE platform (email for me, chat for some others,) then you make your practitioner’s life easier, and business runs more smoothly.

“Clients get reputations, too, and yours precedes you.” If you honestly don’t think your reputation is at risk and could rapidly become wretched the moment you act terrible or start bad mouthing any practitioner, think again. There is a fair amount of warnings out there for people who act out towards their workers or who try to destroy anyone’s business. I’ve told a few people I couldn’t help them merely from hearing of all the awful things they tried on others well before contacting me. And I hate mudslinging so Lord knows if I heard about you, you’re absolutely notoriously awful because I don’t listen to most of that stuff

“Stop asking me for free stuff.” Unless you feel like paying money out of your pocket to work a very draining, high energy job for 60-80 hours a week every week for the rest of your life, you should not expect your worker to want to do that. Pay people for their work and don’t demand freebies.

No this wasn’t about anyone particular, yes I’ve heard all of these from several practitioners. No this isn’t an excuse to get insulted, rather it’s intended to give the client insight when they previously would not have understood how a behavior could be troubling or difficult.

~Cat
Thank You, St Expedite!

March 14, 2024

Thank you for helping, as always so quickly, St Expedite! Your assistance always comes fast and just as requested!

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