Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

The Semi Yearly Post of What Practitioners Say about Business, Bad Clients, and the Job

March 21, 2024

Hey Occulties,

It probably doesn’t surprise you that I have some friends in the occultist for hire field, and probably surprises even less of you that I speak to others in my field who I’m not friends with on a regular basis. While I’d never name names, here’s some of the most common stuff I hear that might surprise you or give you some insight into our world.

“I have a life outside of work.” Years and years ago when I’d been offering services for maybe 2-3 years, a client was trying to schedule a reading and I said something to the effect of “oh, I can’t that day because I’m getting dental surgery and I’ll not be up for talking after.” The client blurts out “I forgot you had a life outside of work — omg, I’m so sorry it’s just like weird you see the dentist, too!” They were of course horrified at having said this aloud, but I assured them it was quite alright. I’d heard similar before. In these cases most practitioners I know are not angry unless it becomes something stupid like a hate group (they exist,) discussing medical or personal appointments of ours in some conspiratorial way which is stalkerish and feels quite creepy. Like I shouldn’t have to give you a note from the dental surgeon or prove to your circle of friends that’s why I couldn’t schedule you on Thursday, nor is my root canal caused by anything other than an old filling finally failing and the tooth needing a root canal. But I get it (as do many of my peers,) – it’s easy to forget that I’m also a human with regular issues like you.

Practitioners have medical appointments, argue with their partners, have sick days, sick family to tend to, go to court, have jury duty, deal with house fires and auto accidents, have to attend graduations and weddings and funerals, have animals and families, etc. All the things you deal with in your life, we deal with too.

And so we are not always available to get out of bed at 3am, or to deal with your crying jag while in court (this has happened to more than one person I know with a client having a meltdown while the practitioner needed to settle civil court stuff,) to comfort you while in the middle of a root canal (this one happened to me and the client tried to fire me for not talking to her whilst there was s drill in my skull,) or to schedule your appointment on our day off. Remember you are dealing with another human who has many of the same obligations and problems you have when you work with anyone.

“I don’t and can’t like everyone I work for.” It’s very normal to meet people in your life that you don’t like for any number of reasons, and in some cases these people are perfectly nice and polite— they just aren’t anyone you enjoy the company of. It can be anywhere from tedious to downright awful to have to deal with these folks on a daily basis, but most adults can soldier through it… It’s just hard when the client wants to be your friend. Thing is, the vast majority of practitioners I know, while also being absolutely lovely people, rapidly become maxed out on socializing from doing their job, and already have to make an effort to make time for family and friends from the enormous amount of work required of them as well as the very draining aspect of dealing with emotionally traumatized people frequently on a daily basis.

And some people are rude, entitled, petulant, and incapable of accepting fault or responsibility and they come to us too. Mind you, I’m one of a handful of people who has and will fire anyone who continually acts like an asshole. If you think you can cop an attitude with me, threaten me, or act in any gross manner, you’ll find yourself fired. I bend over backwards for people who are pleasant and well-mannered, — but get sullen and pushy and rude, and watch me warn you one time then tell you to kick rocks if it keeps up. There’s absolutely no excuse to behave like that, and 99% of the population doesn’t, so I’m not sorry for dealing with those who do by cutting them off.

Most of the time, though, it’s that practitioners are the only one still listening to the fears and concerns of a very upset client who really needs a friend, and tries (consciously or not,) to be our friend. I do have clients who have become my friends but at the end of the day most clients are just clients. I appreciate their business and I respect them, but I don’t consider them buddies. Most people who do this job feel the same way.

“I detest having to put on a show.” I guess it’s popular for some very young spellcasters to enjoy putting on a show or for people to expect us to want an audience all the time because people born after a certain date think this is normal. Frankly, it’s not really, In the sense that….well… All through human history this has been seen as déclassé and to be avoided – and I mean among basically all of human kind. We didn’t even want to see our famous people looking bedraggled or doing mundane things. But reality shows and social media made some unfortunate trends. So, it may be a new normal for you but since occult means hidden knowledge, it is especially abnormal to your average spellcaster. That, and I assure you, a great deal of what you see is staged and not real. I’m not even criticizing the person showing it as they know as well as I do that a fair amount of spellcasting is rather utilitarian and not impressive to view and when you get overly fancy you’re not doing anything on a more impressive level, just being frivolous in many cases. But if you need to make someone impressed visually, you may use stage tricks if that’s your thing. It’s not mine but I know people who do it.

This job is a bit more like being a doctor than you might think. It is, at its root, a science, and a scholarly pursuit. It isn’t easy to learn in the sense you will quickly reach adepthood. On average it takes around 5 years of intense study and practice to hit being an intermediate, often more if you’re lackadaisical in your studies. So needing an audience should be the least of your concerns while you work to achieve this. While some of you might want a doctor who videos themselves all through their bachelor degree to graduation and beyond working on their hopefully willing-to-be-filmed patients….I’d prefer a doctor who doesn’t make me think my next check up is for public scrutiny, and who spent more time honing his or her knowledge over gaining followers and crafting their image.

I have seen, in my life, several entertainers – people who’s literal job is putting in a show, – begin to resent and even avoid large gaudy displays they enjoyed putting on in their youth. Imagine then being in a profession which is more like being a doctor than anything else, and being expected to put on a spectacle to attract patients. I assure you that most people who crave an audience and followers only for the idea of fame and power are in not really those who do well as a practitioner for hire as knowledge is the reward of our study, and fame is a fickle and tenuous reward sought by people who’s power will be short-lived for their desire for it to come coupled with fame in most cases, soooo it’s a ridiculous feeling to have earned your laurels and have to put on a display for a generation of people who evolved to think everyone and everything should be out for visual consumption, no matter how much this detracts from serious work or study time.

In short, most practitioners for hire older than 30 or so probably resent the commercialization and displays younger clients desire. Virtually every single one I know bemoans at least parts of it. It’s fun to interact with people on a student level but becomes annoying when you’re expected to perform like an entertainer on a regular basis.

“Please stop asking other ‘muggles’ for advice.” I’ve said this so many times before but the reality is if you’d never seen or driven a car before, you’d probably be wise not to ask people with the same experience of cars for advice on cars, especially when the experts among you rode in a car one time and yet don’t know how to turn it on or how it’s powered and think it’s a fake car when they don’t turn the ignition but pump a pedal and it expect it to go. It would be generous to compare muggles helping muggles to this scenario. In reality it is a bizarre miseducation of each other, whilst reinforcing incredibly bizarre beliefs, sometimes listening to rival wanna-be casters (or if you’re lucky, a woman who couldn’t steal my husband away and was never a client saying that despite my lack of any criminal record, that I’m whatever awful thing and a fake spellcaster,) say untrue things in an attempt to harm their target’s business, or just downright stupid ideas like spellcasting is like a vending machine that just spits out what you want regardless of your behaviors or any other factors or else it’s fake (which is totally NOT how spells work.) The absolutely atrocious levels of misinformation spread intentionally and unintentionally is nauseating…

Plus there’s that whole lust for results problem. Basically you’re supposed to keep your mind off of the situation and the spell and you’re inviting others to think on it which in turn means they could impact your active spellwork and even kill it.

”Casting a few spells doesn’t make you an expert.” Oh the amount of times we hear that someone understands spellcasting and then is completely flummoxed when we mention very elementary aspects and gloss over them, having been led to believe they at least have an intermediate level of knowledge of the art. Fixing a stair does not make you a master carpenter, cleansing out a wound doesn’t make you a doctor, writing an editorial doesn’t make you a journalist. Stop putting on the cap of an expert if you are a dabbler as it makes you seem (and act) far more ignorant than a person who may have tried out a few things an expert does in that field but admittedly only has a layperson’s knowledge thereof.

“I’m exhausted.” This job is INCREDIBLY TIME-CONSUMING AND DRAINING. It requires just about everything out of you, and yet someone still wants an off-hours reading or a free redo (at cost to yourself,) which they aren’t entitled to. You will be expected to google things for the lazy, to be an on-demand therapist, to explain rudimentary spellcasting concepts, to state and re-state absolutely unnecessary information more because someone wants confirmation you haven’t run off, and then your thanks will be someone bitching you haven’t replied fast enough because the 20 hour day you worked today didn’t include you repeating the start day of the work you told them three times already since you really wanted to sleep. And if you’re exhausted, don’t say it, because then you’re ungrateful. How dare you want 6 hours of sleep tonight. How dare you not hold every hand and act as a free therapist or search engine and not be grateful that this unpaid part of your day exists. I’ve had clients chastise me for taking the day off for needing to attend a funeral, and feeling drained and upset afterwards to the point I didn’t reply to the email I got that day.

We say it to each other often enough — your practitioner is exhausted. If even half of our clients stopped expecting service 24/7 or tried reading back on a thread, we’d save hours every day. I understand both sides of this – it’s really hard when you want something to be fixed and it’s taking it’s time to manifest; it’s really hard to have to be patient with a lot of anxious traumatized people when you can’t remember the last time you took a vacation (ten years ago for me, at this writing.) So we try to be patient with you and hide our exhaustion…maybe try to find your answers for things like scheduling or get less pissy if your practitioner doesn’t reply in 48 hours and both sides will benefit.

”Please use one form of communication to conduct business with me.” I have friends who prefer chat services to speak to their clients. I am not a chatty person and much prefer email, but all of us find it incredibly annoying to have clients on several different platforms because it doesn’t keep the information in one place. Eventually you lose track of something or don’t reply because someone’s using the wrong platform and drama ensues. If you stick to ONE platform (email for me, chat for some others,) then you make your practitioner’s life easier, and business runs more smoothly.

“Clients get reputations, too, and yours precedes you.” If you honestly don’t think your reputation is at risk and could rapidly become wretched the moment you act terrible or start bad mouthing any practitioner, think again. There is a fair amount of warnings out there for people who act out towards their workers or who try to destroy anyone’s business. I’ve told a few people I couldn’t help them merely from hearing of all the awful things they tried on others well before contacting me. And I hate mudslinging so Lord knows if I heard about you, you’re absolutely notoriously awful because I don’t listen to most of that stuff

“Stop asking me for free stuff.” Unless you feel like paying money out of your pocket to work a very draining, high energy job for 60-80 hours a week every week for the rest of your life, you should not expect your worker to want to do that. Pay people for their work and don’t demand freebies.

No this wasn’t about anyone particular, yes I’ve heard all of these from several practitioners. No this isn’t an excuse to get insulted, rather it’s intended to give the client insight when they previously would not have understood how a behavior could be troubling or difficult.

~Cat
Thank You, St Expedite!

March 14, 2024

Thank you for helping, as always so quickly, St Expedite! Your assistance always comes fast and just as requested!
Spell to draw customers

March 10, 2024

Hey occulties,

So clearly our forebears in the world of magic did not have internet businesses. Even 100-150 years ago the idea of businesses done by mail (which is about the closest approximation we can use to the internet if we look back in time,) were still pretty novel. But this doesn’t mean you need a physical store (nor did you ever,) nor office to draw paying customers to you. This is wonderful for those of us in this modern world who sell services or items online, obviously. This spell works for both physical businesses and for those without a store or office, as it draws positive attention to your business and not the location you work from.

This spell is best done on a Sunday or Wednesday in the hour of Jupiter during the first quarter cycle of the moon, and if the moon is in Sagittarius, even better.

You will need:
A bill of largest denomination from your last three sales* (so three pieces of paper money)
Honey
Attraction oil (substitute w Crown of Success if needed,)
Four yellow-orange tea light candles
A pen or marker with purple or blue ink.

On each piece of paper money, inscribe your businesses name with your pen – do not be ostentatious. So either write it small on a part where there is no printed design, or over the design without it being hugely obvious. Anoint each candle with oil saying “Like ants to sugar or honey to bee, customers are drawn to me!” three times for each candle. Place your candles at each cardinal point on your altar (North, East, South, West,) and starting from the west, light each candle. Now taking a bit of honey on your index finger, anoint the corner of each bill with honey and repeat the chant (so four times per bill) and place this so it is in the center (and not in danger of catching fire,) if your four candles. Hold your hand over the stack of bills and say “Like ants to sugar or honey to bee, customers are drawn to me, as is my will, so it be!” Allow the candles to burn out. When they have, take each bill and give one to a needy person until you’ve given out all three. The money will come pouring in quickly, so don’t fret too much about giving it away if you feel it’s too dear.

~Cat

*Many sales are electronic today. In the states that means if you want cash, you will need to use the atm, so just get $20 out of the atm for that sale.
Success Work vs Money Work

March 9, 2024

Hello Occulties,

Today, I’d like to briefly touch on how success work and money work are similar but are not the same, as I’d like to post some money and success spellwork for you but feel like we need to have this little chat first.

Now one thing I’m going to say before I even get into this discussion with you – lottery spells are gambling spells and the lottery has ATROCIOUS odds for large jackpots so save your $$, because increasing the odds of winning Powerball or Mega Millions is still dealing with ATROCIOUS ODDS!!

So when we use money-drawing work, usually this is to draw to us a promotion with a better income or to draw sales to ourselves, or to draw monies owed. Success spell work will give us or our business a better reputation, may increase our sales, and will draw to us repeat business as well as accolades from our managers and bosses, not just from customers. Clearly both are related, but if you are a student or perhaps a writer or an artist, you are drawing more respect and better grades which may not actually get you a better income.

Which is “better?” I honestly feel that that most of us profit when we use both simultaneously. For example, just making a lot of sales doesn’t mean a lot of happy customers or respect. But happy customers and respect doesn’t mean you’re making a living wage, either. Making the boss think you’re a star employee doesn’t mean you’ll make more money, but getting a raise doesn’t mean your boss thinks you’re a stand out at your job. This is why I recommend people try to do success and money blessings at the same time, and this is very easy to do.

Cast your spells in a solar hour on a Thursday or a Jovial hour on a Sunday. Now Jupiter can be a bit slower moving (but is longer lasting,) so if you need some really fast help with money use a mercurial hour on a Sunday or a solar hour on a Wednesday. Mercury is very fast acting but not as long lasting. As is often the case in magic, that which is fast acting is not long lasting and that which is slower to begin acting is much longer lasting of an influence.

If you are at a job and seeking a promotion, use that jovial (Jupiter) influence. This is really going to push strongly for you to be seen as the best candidate. Jupiter is a good fellow for students, too. Are you trying to do better in a class and struggling? Use a bit of crown of success on a purple candle and you will see your performance improve. But if you are working a job where your earnings are sales, Jupiter is very much your friend but it’s the sun or mercury who will send you those sales quickly. I recommend a weekly or at least monthly working every Sunday to keep sales steady and strong.

As a spellcaster you need two oils in your spell cabinet at all times – money drawing, and crown of success. There are plenty of good money and success oils out there but these two are paramount. Another staple is Red Fast Luck. This is very important to speed that money into an account when the need hits.

Alright my beloveds, money and success workings are coming up… just needed a little pre-lecture ❤️

~Cat
Spell to Turn Gossip Against its Author

March 8, 2024

Hey kids,

If you’ve ever had someone pass lies around about you, you know it’s a terrible feeling. If you know the person who made these false tales up about you, – and I mean be sure they are false when you use this spell, – then a really simple method to get back at someone lying on you is to get a napkin that this person has wiped their mouth with and on each of the four corners write in a pen with blue ink “(Full name of target) your lies are plain for all to see, I expose every falsehood you’ve said about me,” now sprinkle this in goofer dust (the real stuff which is in no way talcum or containing talcum,) and using gloves fold this into quarters, folding away from you, then roll into a tube, rolling away from you, then wrap it in heavy black thread, wrapping away from you and saying “(Full name of target) your lies are plain for all to see, I expose every falsehood you’ve said about me,“ as you wrap it. Now find a living tree with a noticeable burl on it, and dig a bit under the roots enough so you can use this packet under there, and bury it. Now hold your hand over the area it is buried and say “(Full name of target) your lies are plain for all to see, I expose every falsehood you’ve said about me,” three times and then say “as this tree grows, the blight of your lies is as clear as the burl on its side. As is my will, so be it!” Walk away without looking back. Their lies against you will quickly be revealed.

~Cat
QYAM: March 2024 edition

March 5, 2024

Hey occulties,

Its time for another addition of Questions You’ve Asked Me!

Q: If the moon is full, will that make the spell stronger?

A: No, probably not. In most cases someone asking this assumes that the full moon, being itself the completion of the WAXING or GROWING lunar cycle means that a full moon brings or grows the influence of the spell the greatest amount. This actually entirely wrong. If using a lunar influence, the first quarter, that is the first days after the new moon before it reaches half full, have the strongest influence for growing an influence or drawing something to you. The full moon itself is inert. In fact the day after the full moon, until the end of the third quarter, is the strongest part of the lunar cycle for removing something or pushing it away from you or lessening it’s influence.

I can always tell an unpracticed newbie by their belief that the full moon is somehow helpful to draw a thing to them or grow its influence. It’s got it’s purposes but most involve keeping an influence STABLE. Not drawing it to you, not remove it, but keeping it strong and stable.

Q: How can you estimate a manifestation time if, as you claim, “the only right answer for ‘how long this will take to manifest?’ is as long as it needs to’”?

A: Experience. First how long would it likely take if I’d not been asked and the petitioner wasn’t aware I was casting it (which I determine based on a few existing mundane factors and average manifestation times) then add 2 weeks. It’s a legitimate enough concern and I fault no one for asking but the question is one that signals proclivity towards lust for results, death-clocking (fail by dates,) and other spell-slowing behaviors so it will take 2 weeks more than it should generally. If I’m overly concerned on how long something will take for work I do for myself I even add a few weeks to what I expect normally. Obsessive anxiety is no joke. And we all get it sometimes. But even in small doses it slows manifestation! 🫤 I’ll often refuse to work for someone too riddled with lust for results but yep, even a mild case can add 2 weeks!

Q: Can I use a broken or used candle in a spell?

A: Within reason you can use a broken candle, but honestly it’s less useful than one without breaks. It’s substandard in many workings, though if the break is made intentionally, (and I can think of a few spells where this is done,) is not the same as an item which was poorly shipped, handled, or stored and suffered damages for it. As far as a used candle, so long as it wasn’t used in another spell and you have most of the candle, you may use it, but this is, again, not as good as a fresh unused one. Remember, half-assing out of laziness or stinginess is BAD in magic. Spirits take notice and your lackadaisical and careless behaviors can mean a far lesser result. So if you are broke and that broken or used candle is all there is and you NEED a candle, and buying one is the difference between eating or not, you use the broken/used one. If you can’t get a fresh candle in time and there is a need NOW, you use the broken/used one. If you just don’t feel like going to the store to replace and and knew it was broken for days, you get your lazy ass to the store.

It’s better to use something than nothing, but if you’re not putting in effort, expect less back from your spell work.

Q: If you were going to recommend how to enlist the aid of a for-hire spellcaster who isn’t yourself, how would you go about it?

A: I’ve answered this a few times, but as technology changes, the answer does to some extent as well. However my first instruction in said how-to remains the same which is know something about how spells work and about spells. If you are as ignorant of the practice as the vast majority of people are, it’s easy to be fooled. If you know a little about spellcasting yourself, you’re already going to be apt to choose a caster who’s legitimate. The second instruction is basically the same which is don’t trust reviews. Most of them are either false positive or false negative. I think in all my years in the planet that the only reasonably apt reviews online I’ve ever found about anything came from Amazon and when I recently saw a horrible ritual supply product on there being positively reviewed, even that has me wondering, haha. Now refer to my first instruction, as this bears on the second. I have had people blame me for bad outcomes when doing the absolute opposite of my instructions. So this would be like buying a microwave then complaining when you threw it in your bathtub to wash it, it stopped working…and those around you agreeing it must not be a real microwave. 🙄 I once saw a review for a wand – a beautiful handcrafted wand made to specs with astrology and planetary correspondences and all being reviewed as fake because the purchaser waved it around and said some Harry Potter chant or something (which isn’t how wands are used in magic – not at all,) which of course wouldn’t cause anything to happen, and this jerk actually lost a very good craftsman some business being ignorant and posting that. That’s comparable to badly reviewing a hammer because owning one didn’t build you a house when you told it verbally to do so. Plus people always are exaggeratedly good or bad. So…avoid reviews. Approach the caster with a question regarding a type of service instead, and one you might be able to suss out the answer to. For example, do you use lunar correspondences in your work and if not, why? Or something about method. Use much more respectable resources than chat groups or message boards or Reddit to find the answer (those weird things people used to use called books are awesome,) and then match it with that of your spellcasters. Then if they have an intelligent reply, you know they are probably real. Next, ask them how much are you allowed to contact them (a real concern for some,) and if it costs more to do that. Ask real service questions. There are some people who expect a free 24/7 cheerleader. I know I don’t have time for that but I bet someone does. If their policies aren’t clear on their site, you ask directly. Only invest money when you’re comfortable. Outcomes are not guaranteed but you should at least get the desired amount of service you want.

I honestly have plenty of business and I don’t need anyone who’s hugely defensive or high maintenance taking up ten times the amount of time as one of my satisfied regulars so I’m glad to offer tips to find someone else legitimate and spend less time reassuring someone who is paranoid I’m out to get them. Feel free to ask my opinions on if something someone you are considering hiring sounds legit or fishy. I won’t get compensation for it from you or them so I have no reason to be anything but helpful. Outside of that just try using the above instructions.

I mean I don’t use any of the client-review lists passed around about some people, and they definitely aren’t kind about those who write the practitioner review stuff… it all seems like mean girls drama on both ends – so I’m glad when people ask me this stuff because I agree: sometimes it’s just hard to know what to trust with all this mud slinging. 20 years in this business and I’m still appalled by the bad behaviors on both sides sometimes. Use your brain and your instinct, that’s how to find a good spellcaster.

Q: If I curse a target I’m no longer in contact with, how do I know if the spell worked?

A: You can do a reading, but be careful in how you pose the question/ask for the desired information. This is a very important aspect of divination. Poorly posed questions tend to bring back answers which merely reflect the askers hopes or fears, which is already a risk if the querent is overly attached to the outcome.

However if you are patient (and sometimes greatly patient) I can honestly say every curse I’ve done for my own personal use has had the outcome thereof eventually revealed to me. Now if you’re working for yourself, that may be an option, but I know a lot of people who couldn’t stand waiting months or even longer to know. In that case, you should get a reading.

Q: Can I reuse witness samples/tag locks/personal concerns/related terms meaning the same thing?

A: You can’t reuse the same item in a different spell in most cases, although you could use the same picture as long as it’s not the exact same print of that picture which you had used. If you only have a limited amount of a thing – hair for example, just cut a small piece of the item off to use in your spell.

Q: Why do you use red sandalwood in your roadopener formula?

A: Because it is sacred to Ganesha who clears blockages and opens roads.

Q: What makes you so sure that one of your Reddit stalkers is some chick who tried to steal your husband? Maybe it really is a client!

A: Oh, one of them is a client who makes a few accounts and tried to blackmail me for free magic and if I didn’t, she said she’d bad mouth me all over Reddit. Let’s call her Emmy.

The other was never a client and that’s easy to suss out. See, I was arrested but not charged with underage drinking in 1997, a month from my 21st birthday (I’m old.) This is my sole arrest ever. She claims I was arrested for meth in Portland, Maine when I neither lived in Portland, Maine or even in Maine, nor had ever physically seen methamphetamine ever. The girl who wanted my husband used to call me meth head behind my back to my husband (who told me and even put her on speaker phone more than once when she would falsely accuse me of being in the middle of doing multiple things he knew I wasn’t since I was with him when she claimed it was supposedly going on.) Then there is the ongoing discussion of how well-off my family is, which was another thing this girl believed. She thought we were billionaires or something. I have multiple texts from her supporting this. Then to the fact that I’ve never said my husband’s name here or in any public forum. I’m a libertarian and do not legally marry. Therefore there is no legal record of our marriage and no traceable way to know who my husband is on social media…his Facebook isn’t his legal name or related thereto. She’s clearly not a client, she uses the same syntax and made-up “facts” the same as she does throughout the messages of hers I’ve saved now for the two years or so she’s been stalking me.

Basically Emmy/Pomegranate is someone else but then there’s the crazy one who talks about how ugly I am (which I could show you her pic and you’d understand why she’s so focused on you wanting to find me ugly as she was not blessed in looks herself, and clearly is angry about it,) what a pos my husband is including saying outright falsehoods about us both and claims I’m a meth head. If there’s absolutely no legal record of me having any drug problem or legal problem (because there’s absolutely no record of it, I assure you, as I’m not on drugs and have never even had them in my medical records much less a legal record of such use,) nor any way to know who I am married to and neither is anything I discuss and this person holds the same bizarre beliefs as the wanna-be failed homewrecker, who else could it be? I guess it could be another jealous girl but then the whole thought that I’m from an enormously rich family is one I’ve only ever heard from that one.

Quite honestly, I’m glad I finally got legal help. It’s sad that a failed homewrecker and a blackmail artist smeared me so badly before I did anything, but I guess I just believed a thinking person could see right through it without considering several of their readers had never met me anyhow, and had no point of comparison. I’m always happy to discuss any concerns you have privately.

Q: Can you tell me the best days of the week to work money spells?

A: I’ll do you one better, in order of best to good:
MONEY: Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday
LOVE: Friday, Monday, Wednesday
CURSING: Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday

The above are my three biggest requests so I helped with all three!

Hopefully this was educational! Thanks for reading!

~Cat
Thank You, King Paimon

March 4, 2024

As always, I am grateful for your assistance, wisdom, and all you have given to me and done on my behalf. ALL HAIL MIGHTY KING PAIMON!
Jar Spell for Money

February 29, 2024

Good Morning occulties,

This morning I’m telling you how to make your own money jar spell. Now some of this will require you to get dirt from your property (or the petitioner’s property) which for my city-dwelling readers may be easier said than done. If you literally have no spot in the property that hosts flowers or a decorative plant, wait until a wet or muddy day, and take the dirt from the bottom of your shoe and mix it with basic potting soil. If you are drawing money to a specific business, alter this by taking dirt from the property of the business itself.

You will need:
about 2 cups of dirt from the property of the petitioner (person who the spell is cast on behalf of,)
powdered alkanet root
whole bay leaves
5 coins of the same denomination (dimes or quarters for my stateside readers,)
Real maple syrup
gold foil
Irish moss flakes
A box of bright orange or gold color chime candles
a glass jar with a metal lid
Money drawing oil
A slip of paper with the edges torn but not cut off
a pen with blue ink

Creating the jar
write the petitioners name once each line five times, then turning the names so that they run vertical, write Money in my Pocket horizontally across this five times, once per line. Fold this in half, folding towards you. Fold this in half again, folding towards you. Set aside.

Mix together your dirt with about a teaspoon of alkanet root, a quarter to half teaspoon of gold foil, 7 crushed bay leaves, and a few drops of oil, stirring well to evenly mix it. Place about half into your jar, now place your name paper in and then your five coins in a single layer, so that each coin touches the inside edge of the jar. Cover with the rest of your dirt, lightly packing this down. Pour your maple syrup in to fill the jar. Wait about a half hour and if you have some space at the top when the syrup has settled pour in a bit more to fill the jar. Cap the har tightly. You may want to use tape around the edges if you will be moving the jar a lot.

Before burning your first candle on top of the jar, you will need to charge the jar. I like to see, in my minds eye, the jar being full of cash while sending gold and purple energy into the jar until it feels full. If you feel that’s too advanced for you, hold the jar for a few minutes in both hands while seeing the petitioner with fistfuls of money and the jar full of money.

Preparing the candles for burning on top of the jar:
Anoint the candle you are using with seven strokes UP (base to wick) with money drawing oil. Be generous with the amount of oil used as you want the candle very oily. Hold the candle in your power hand (the hand you write with, usually) and try to envision your petitioner with fistfuls of cash while sending gold and purple energy into the candle. Again, if you feel this is too advanced for you, holding the candle while trying to keep the image of your petitioner with fistfuls of cash for a few minutes should suffice. Now roll the candle in Irish moss flakes.

The Candleburning:
Clear all debris off of the lid to prevent fire accidents.

Light your prepared candle and secure it to the lid of the jar. If you are the petitioner, you will use “I” and “me,” and if this is for another, use “he/she/they” and “him/her/them,” for the chant. Say “I draw money from all sources to (petitioner/myself), this very hour, this very second, immediately and always that he find his pockets always full, that he finds his wallet always full, from this second and for every day hereafter,” five times, and after the fifth time say “as is my will – so be it!” Allow the candle to burn out.

I recommend burning at least one candle every Sunday, but you can burn one every Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday to increase its power. It is fine to keep using the same jar should you wish to continue burning candles on it weekly for as long as you might like until the contents begin to look as if they are spoiling. If your contents spoil, create a new jar using the above process.

Please note, alkanet root will color things reddish brown.

Im sure there will be questions, so please ask!

~Cat

Looking for a fast and cheap reading? Doing $5 ten-card-spreads for direct questions if you are willing to be featured on my instagram from now until March 7. Your name and personal details will not be shared. CashApp only (sorry, it’s the only feasible choice for such a low price.)
St Michael Novena

February 24, 2024

Hello Occulties,

When I am in need of help to stay sheltered or fed or healthy, when I need protection from someone who would harm me or see me fail, I call upon the powerful St Michael archangel. I recently shared this novena with a client, and so m now sharing with you. It has helped me every time I use it and others have reported back that it’s helped them as well.

You do not need these items, but traditionally you would place a glass of fresh water and light a candle in front of of an image of St Michael triumphant over the devil. Now to say a St Michael novena, you first say the St Michael prayer three times, which is

St Michael Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, thrust into Hell Satan and all other evil spirits who wander the world, seeking the ruin and destruction of souls. Amen

Once you have said this, say your need. This should be protection or healing or need make not relating to love but need to survive and be sure to start with “please,” or I humbly ask this favor, etc. Do not boss the being whose name means “who is like God,” and who stands at one side of God with Christ on the other, if you get what I’m saying. Don’t grovel just mind your manners. You do not need to say the same thing every day if you say it regularly

Now say the St Michael prayer again three times.

Now ask something for your enemy or opponents. Like “please bring peace to the heart of those I have unintentionally offended in this matter and help us to be reconciled or feel more kindly towards each other.” It doesn’t need to be grandiose and it’s fine the favor benefit you as well as long as it’s genuine (not like “please make this crappy doctor retire as he clearly is sick of his job”)

Now say the St Michael prayer three times, then an Our Father and a Hail Mary

The Pater Noster (our Father,) is said

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever, Amen

There are various similar translations but I say it thusly.

And the Ave Maria (Hail Mary):

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

You don’t have to light a candle. You don’t even need to repeat this for nine days. I do this for at least nine days but even saying it all once tends to help

I hope St Michael the Archangel blesses you and helps you as he has helped me and many I know so many times.

~Cat
Communication Sweet Jar

February 21, 2024

Hey Occulties,

Some if you have asked for a sweet jar that encourages communication so here it is! I may have shared a similar one, but I’m hoping not the same one. I’ve been planning on adding a jar spells category for some time as they are very popular, so I’ll kick off that category today too and retroactively add those I find to the topic heading bit by bit.

You will need:
A glass jar with a metal lid
Honey
Tobacco (if you can find a cigar brand known as swisher sweets these tend to work very nicely for this purpose)
Peach rose petals
Red Sandalwood chips
Lemongrass
White sugar
A scrap of brown paper bag with all edges torn (not cut) off
A pen
Light blue or pink chime candles
An item from or image of the spell target

To make your name paper write your target’s name nine times, once per line on nine lines for example:
Firstname Lastname
Firstname Lastname
Firstname Lastname (etc)

Then, turning the names so they now run vertical, write your command across this once per line on nine lines. In this spell, the command would be “Contact (name of petitioner) immediately.” Spit into the center of the paper and place the personal item or image into the center then fold the paper into quarters towards you. Place this into your jar and fill it about a quarter to third full with sugar, add the tobacco from one cigarette or cigar, about 2 tablespoons lemongrass, a tablespoon of red sandalwood, and a quarter to third cup rose petals. Fill the remainder with honey and screw the lid on the jar. Now, holding the sealed jar in your hands, – try to envision your target calling the petitioner and speaking to them sweetly, trying to send this energy through your writing hand and into the jar, envisioning the jar filling with your intended purpose. If you don’t feel like you can do this, you should hold the jar in your hands for a few minutes, and try to keep the mental image of your desired result, in your minds eye.

Using a Wednesday around 9am for your best start time (if you can only work in the evenings use the Wednesday in the first quarter of a moon cycle,) and thereafter working on Wednesdays, Mondays, and Fridays for romantic love and Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays for non-romantic love (use light blue candles for non-romantic use, and pink candles for romantic,) until you are content with the level of communication received, light a candle, and secure this to the lid with drippings. When it is secure say “(Name of Target,) you desire to tell me” (or petitioners name) “every thought and idea on your mind, and the more you try to resist the urge to tell me” (or petitioner) “all, the stronger the desire becomes!” Repeat this phrase nine times. After the ninth time say “as is my will, so be it!” Allow the candle to burn out. Clear way any wax or debris before lighting a fresh candle on the lid.

Im sure there will be questions, so please ask!

~Cat

Now until 2/23/24 all jar spell services get 1 extra week free!

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