Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

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“I’m Cat, and for a long time, Cat’s Rants, the longest running occult based blog was over at TypePad – since 2004. Sadly, TypePad shuttered permanently as of September 30th 2025. Please be patient while I export 21 years of blog posts over to my new WordPress location. With a much easier url to remember and all your favorite posts all the way back to 04, Cat’s Rants should hopefully improve over its former location.” Cat has practiced and studied the occult, tarot, and spellcasting for over 35 years, and has shared her expert teachings on how to cast your own spells, including original spells and recipes on the Cat’s Rants blog since 2004. A professional tarot reader since the 1990s, she’s also an internationally-known psychic reader and tarot expert. As a published and respected occultist for over two decades, and an expert in the fields of rootwork, hoodoo, and Catholic folk magic, she continues to serve the public by teaching authentic spell casting and offering readings and services.

  • First Annual Cat’s Rants Best Spell Contest

    Hey everyone,

    Since my readership has been growing, I am offering a special contest for anyone interested… You need to present me with the best original spell *MEANING YOU MADE IT, AND YOU ARE NOT PLAGURIZING.*

    Guidelines for the contest are the following:

    *Spell can follow any religion, any tradition, and be any type of spell (love, money, curse, etc.)
    *Spell is (as stated,) your original creation. This means absolutely no trying to “reword” something out of a book or off of a site and pass it off as yours…I’ve read a lot. Make this a WHOLLY original spell of your creation. Disregarding this rule will make me send bad disincarnate beings to your house to smack you around. 😉
    *You must present me with proper contact information for you.
    *Spell is in a readable format for a PC with Windows XP. I PREFER you type it in the body of an email, but I do accept PDF, Word, and doc formats.
    *Spell must be rec’d no later than May 15, 2007. That’s not a lot of time, so get crackin’ people!

    The winner will receive a cash prize of $50 or a $50 gift cert to the occult-supply store of your choosing, and will have their spell published on my blog (with due recognition to the winning author, of course.) So let me see what an accomplished occultey you are, and win yourself a little bit of money in the process. 😀

    Please send the entries by clicking here, and title your entry, “Spell Contest ’07.” Its free to enter, but submissions are limited to 3 entries per person.

    And I’ve no idea where this contest is prohibited, but void where prohibited by law. 😉

    Impress me, people… 🙂

    ~Cat

  • Kurt Vonnegut Has Died

    Vonnegut
    I know I am being OT again, but one of the authors who has been greatly influental to me has passed away as of April 11, 2007. Kurt Vonnegut, author of such masterpieces as Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions has died at 84. I cannot say enough positive things about this man, so I will just thank him dearly for all of the wonderful pieces of prose he has written which are truly literary pieces of art. RIP, Mr. Vonnegut.

    Sincerely,

    ~Cat

    (image courtesy random house)

  • Because It’s MY Blog

    Okay, I saw this on Perez Hilton and it totally rocks, especially if you are old enough to have been cool in 1995 (meaning you are in your late 20’s to early 30’s, lol.) Its Alanis covering Fergie’s “My Humps,” and in a totally Alanis way… very ’90’s. 😉

    Sorry, I know it has nothing to do with the occult, but I really wanted to share it. 😀

    ~Cat

  • Not Dead Yet! :D

    Hey everyone,

    A super big huge mondo thanks to everyone for your get-well wishes for me whilst I fought my cold (aka the plague,) for the past few days! You are all so kind and awesome, and I know your positive wishes for me have helped me get better faster. I am now at 95% (not 100%,) and expecting to be totally fine by the weekend! Hooray!

    Blessings,

    ~Cat

  • Hot Foot Powder

    Hey all,

    Recently a few people have asked me what my recipie for Hot Foot Powder is…okay, that’s easy! 😉

    You will need:
    Sulphur (powdered,)
    Cayenne Pepper,
    Kosher Salt (this can be found in the supermarket.)

    Mix equal parts. You have Hot Foot powder. 😉

    I love the easy questions…don’t you? 😀

    ~Cat

  • Contaminated Pet Food Contains RAT POISION

    Hey All,

    As someone who loves her pets a great deal, this story of contaminated pet food killing our beloved animal friends has really scared me a lot. My dear ol’ doggie thankfully does NOT eat canned food, but I have 2 kitties, and they do like the canned stuff… well, apparently the culprit was RAT POISION. OMG – RAT POISION!?

    Dscn0007

    To anyone who has lost a pet or has a sick animal from this horrible incedent, please know that my prayers are with you. To anyone else worried, please check here to see if your pet food may have been contaminated with rat poision.

    I know its OT, but I know many of you have pets like me, so I know it is a concern to many of you who love your pets so very much.

    Hugs,

    ~Cat, (and Dylan, Bella, and Hobbes)

  • Mama Cat’s Bayberry Money Drawing Oil

    Hello Occulties,

    This one is for my fans out there asking for a money spell. 😀

    Its customary around Xmas time to burn bayberry candles, and unless I am mistaken (because this is only 1/2 through my first coffee, and we all know I have the stupids until after coffee number 2 is ingested,) this is traditionally to help draw money and prosperity in the home around the new year (and right after you blew your bank account away by getting your honey exactly what s/he wanted.) Well, we aren’t all in need of money just at Xmas (certainly, for most of us it is a year round thing,) and this one is a great “spicy” smelling oil to use to draw money and prosperity. 😀

    Home_at_last

    You will need:

    A base oil of bayberry, about 1/2 oz, (fragrance oil is fine, but many people call fragrance oils essential oils, so either or will do…) in its glass container (you will be using this to make the oil, BUT if you want to use another container, clean out a small 1/2 oz container for the oil.)
    Irish Moss chips, ground,
    Allspice (ground is fine,)
    Lemongrass leaves,
    A few whole cloves (optional,)
    And small grains of pyrite (sometimes called “Fools’ Gold)

    I made my original Bayberry Money Drawing recipie a few years back while being uber-bored at Christmas, and wondering what I could create just tossing together some money-drawing ingredients….you see, that year, there was some sort of communicae from the collective unconscious telling the world that they needed to buy my mother everything to do with bayberry. We had so much freakin’ bayberry at my parents’ house that it looked like we were running an illegal bayberry-oil/candle products smuggling ring. 😉 Your friend Cat, who is quite the pack rat, and who’s mum KNOWS she is quite the pack rat, was of course given many of these lovely and thoughtful bayberry doo-dads for whatever use she could figure for them. (If you give candles to any member of the family, btw, I usually appropriate them, so thanks, lol.)

    Anyhow, here I was with a veritable wealth of bayberry…but of course no stinkin’ fresh bayberry root. 😛 Since I am of the mind that any oil, incense, or powder should have an odd number of ingredients, I made 2 types of oils…neither with real bayberry root in the bottle (damnit,) but to see which worked better. I actually really liked the one with the whole cloves, but including the oil base, this is 6 ingredients…without it is 5, so this is why the cloves are optional. Both versions did seem to work for me quite well.

    To make the oil:

    You will want to work over some scrap paper in case the oil drips, so place some old fliers or newspaper out over a hard surface. Open your bottle of bayberry oil, and remove about an eyedropper full of oil (if it is very full,) to prevent it from over-flowing when you add the other ingredients.

    Take about equal parts of the lemongrass, allspice, and Irish moss (about a pinch,) manually crushing these a bit finer if need be. Add into the oil jar. Add a few small grains of pyrite to the oil. Now if you would like to add the cloves, add 2-3 small whole cloves (if you need to chip them a bit to get them in the oil jar, this is fine,) to the oil.

    Cap the jar tightly, and SHAKE!

    Now, sit for a moment with the jar of oil in your hands, and envision (if you can do this,) gold, green, and purple energy flowing out of your body and into the oil. If sending energy is not your thing, instead try to envision (while holding the oil,) the bottle being full of gold, or some other similar vision of wealth, and this will do. At this point, many practioners say a psalm over the oil to empower it for wealth, and others have a fancy ritual they do. Since this is a 99% non-denominational blog, I am going to give you the easiest way to “wake” your oil without telling you what religion to be for that moment. 😉 Say, “I empower this oil by my will, to draw prosperity and money. I call upon the power of the roots, the herbs, the minerals and of my own hand to empower this oil with the strength of good fortune and prosperity, – as is my will, so be it.” It isn’t poetic, but it will work.

    The oil is ready for use immediately, but I generally leave them in a dark place for 1-2 weeks at least, shaking the oil every 3 days or so, as to get the vibrations from the roots and herbs into the oil. 🙂

    One note, if you are a true purist, and will now “lower” your damn fine self to using synthetic fragrance oil, use almond oil with a bit of vitamin e added (to prevent it from becoming rancid,) and place bayberry root chips into the almond oil instead of using the bayberry fragrance oil. Bayberry root isn’t all that smelly, though, so be warned that it won’t have that bayberry smell you know and love. 😉

    This oil can be used by placing a few drops into a bucket for a floor wash, a few drops added to a bath for a money bath, added to candles to draw money, and etc. Its a great money oil! 🙂

    Enjoy,

    ~Cat

  • Gushings and a Love Spell

    Hi Occulties-

    And the “Ooops, I effed up,” award goes to Cat (yes, me,) for saving her last 5-6 posts as DRAFTS and not publishing them as I thought I did. 😛 So…for the next week or so, these are all gonna come out as if I just wrote that article that very that day (ie one by one,) rather than in one big ol’ bunch (because this seems to confuse people.)

    Deemomandy

    Also, if I haven’t done it yet (quite possible,) a big shout out to the sisters of Psi Beta Gamma for successfully having our sisterhood (the ONLY Psi Beta Gamma sorority in the world,) reach her 20th birthday! Happy belated birthday Psi Beta Gamma, home to the sexiest, smartest, and strongest women in the known universe. If we knew in 1987 (when I was in third grade, so I had no clue,) that we would make it this far…well, we probably would’ve partied even more than we did. 😉 I would pour a beer out on the floor in salute to all of my sisters who are not currently standing here next to me (you are all alive, thank goodness,) but that would be alcohol abuse. I will leave my drunken silliness at our anniversary party 2 weeks ago as salute enough to all of you…which many of you probably don’t recall because you were similarly as inebriated. Yee haw! Kelly was missing, as was Steph-Bob – BAD GIRLS – but we missed you, and yes, Steph-Bob, you are preggers so we all understand! Here is a picture of Mandy (top) and Maureen (right,) 2 of my beloved pledgelings, and my beloved grand-little sister, Deirdre (left,) so you can know what a sex-ay bunch of women you missed out on hanging with because you didn’t pledge or date one of us…which you needed to do to show up to our party. Thanks to Sas for the image. Good to see you all again!! General Catress loves you. Just a note, I did not post pics of me because my make up looks shiteous in all of the ones I have of me, but if my lil’ sis, Krystal, sends me a pic of the 2 of us, I promise to post it for you all later, shiteous make up (and hair,) and all… remind me not to show up at the next party late so I have to do my face in the bathroom and be memorialized in many pictures looking like I just got mugged.

    Oh-kee, enough blatant gushing about my sorority sisters…and onto…the love spell I promised you awhile ago. :S

    This spell is for a new lover (ie someone you JUST started seeing or would like to see,) and is best done on a Friday during a waxing (growing,) moon.

    You will need:
    One red genitalia-shaped candle to represent your intended) 😉
    Fire of Love oil (sometimes called Fire of Passion, Flame of Desire, or similar,)
    Come to Me oil,
    Follow Me Boy (if you are looking for a male lover,) or Follow Me Girl (for a female lover,) oil,
    Lemongrass leaves (crushed,)
    Cinnamon,
    Cubeb berries (dried, crushed)
    A black pen,
    A red pen,
    A needle, pin, or nail,
    A pie plate or cake tin (or other fireproof container,)
    Scrap of brown paper bag,
    A biological item or photo of yourself (optional,)
    A biological item or photo of your intended, (optional.)

    Spell prep:
    Combine the lemongrass, cinammon, and cubeb berries in approximately equal parts together. People always ask about how much they will need, so I will say about 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of each at most. 😉

    All 3 oils (Come to Me, Fire of Love, Follow Me Boy/Girl,) should also be combined in equal parts, about 2-3 drops of each.

    Using your pin/nail scratch the full name of the person you desire into your figural candle, writing this UP (base to wick,) rather than down.

    Take the scrap of brown paper bag and make sure all of the edges are TORN not cut. Now inscribe your intended’s full name 9x with black pen on the paper like this:
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe (x6 more times,)

    Turn the paper clockwise, 1/4 turn so that your intended’s name is vertical, and write your name across their name 9x (as above.) Now, with your red pen, write your command in a circle AROUND the names, so for example, “Love me, desire me, come to me” repeated over and over until you have made a circle around the names will do, or “John Doe loves and desires Mary Roe more and more each day, and when he resists his desire to be with her, his desire for Mary Roe becomes even stronger,” or etc. Use your imagination – the more unique your command is to you, the better. One note, a few people have started contacting me to tell me that they are using Lwa or Orisha in their spells and are not initiated in Santeria or Vodou. DO NOT use Lwa or Orisha without either being initiated PROPERLY into Vodou or Santeria (and also do not use other spirits like Nkisi in Palo, and etc,) OR without supervision from a priest or priestess of said religions – this is BAD and can have serious consequences if you do not know how to PROPERLY respect these spirits and work with them. Unless you are initiated please do not haphazardly call upon spirits to aid you. Thank you.

    Once you have written out your name paper, if you have chosen to use photographic images of yourself and your intended, place these face to face in the center of the paper, add a pinch of herbal mixture, and fold the name paper (with stuff in the middle) in half once, towards you, and then in half again, also TOWARDS you. If you have chosen to use a witness sample (bio item,) from yourself and your intended, similarly, place this in the center of the name paper, add a pinch of herbal mixture, and fold this in half towards you, and then in half again. Set aside.

    Hold your candle in your hands for about 2 minutes, trying to focus on your intended, thinking of them being wild with desire for you, etc, and try to send this energy into the candles. If you are not able to send energy, simply envision your intended for a few moments while holding the candle in both hands. Using your mixed oils, anoint the candle using an upwards motion (base to wick,) and get a bit “saucy” with the candle. 😉 What I mean by this is to those of you using the penis candle (wanting a male lover,) rub it UP using a masturabory-esque motion, about 7 pulls; for those of you using a vulva candle, anoint the whole candle with a few upward pulls (base to wick,) and then rub the clitoral region of the candle with about 7 “upward,” rubs to the clitoris. Once you have satisfied the candle (hee hee,) sprinkle it generously with your herbal mixture. Now place this over the name paper, and into your fire proof container.

    The spell
    Light your candle, and hold both hands to either side of the candle. Say, “(Intended’s full name,) I conjure you to desire me, (Your full name,) and me alone. The more you try to resist your passionate desire for me, the stronger it becomes. (Intended’s first name,) you love and desire me deeply. You think constantly of seeing me, tasting me, touching me, and holding me. Your desire for me grows stronger with each moment. You wish to love me and be loved by me.” Drop your hands, say, “This spell shall not reverse, nor place upon me any curse – as is my will, so be it!” Allow the candle to burn out.

    When the candle has burnt out, take the remains of the name paper and bury it beneath your front door or by the enterance to you home.

    As always, if there are questions, contact me, and I will help you! And remember…this is MY work ~ please do not plagiarize it or I will sue you. 😛

    Best,

    ~Cat

  • You Googled?

    To you who googled my name and “spellcasting” together. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. 😉 Since I generally do not go by my last name, I can give you some tips on locating actual google information about me…using the full name doesn’t get you very far because don’t utilize it in my professional identity. Its a unique last name. Don’t hesitate to ask whatever it was you are seeking to know.

    To the rest of you NOT googling me by my surname and first and middle names (which is creepy,) I will have a love spell complete for you on Friday. Almost done.

    Ah, to be witness to the end of privacy… 😉

    ~Cat

  • Is It Just Me?

    Ah…a little self-involved snarkiness (not occultey-ness,) just in time for Valentine’s Day…

    Okay, firstly, I need you to do a test on yourself for me. Stand up. Now place your hands on your lower back and rub downward. If you feel two lumps between your lower back to the back of your thighs, please understand this means that you cannot wear skinny leg jeans. You are also advised NEVER to wear leggings by themselves (although I hate leggings in general – get thee to Vicky’s Secret and get thee to some thigh-high silk stockings if you want to look better than an 8 year old in the year 1988,) because you have a thing called… buttocks.

    Buttocks, or “a shapely bottom,” as my father would call it, is an ASSet (pun implied,) and is something most people who are physically attracted to a woman really LIKE. However, if you have any sort of roundness or shape to your buttocks, placing your beauteous bottom into a pair of cigarette leg jeans or leggings makes you look like you have an absurd pear-shape, or even worse, what is sometimes called… A bubble butt. You might just have a shapely rear-end, but your beauteous butt turns into a horrific ginorm-ASS when placed in clothing for assless people.

    Further, do something else for me. If you have some kickin’ flare jeans that you love, but you want to look trendy, please understand sticking flared jeans into knee high boots looks so stupid and pathetic, that you actually make others laugh at you behind your back. We see the wrinkles from you trying to stuff your pants in your boots. They look like a sphincter over the top of your boots. A leg-rectum, even. It looks horrid. If you want to wear a trend, you need to purchase the right pants. To stuff flares INTO boots (they are “boot cut” to go outside of the boot,) is as bad as cutting off straps on a tank to make it a tube top, or wearing a bra with a tube top for support. Also, don’t wear tube tops…they are so last year. 😉

    This has been a public service announcement from your friend, Cat, who, although a hater of some of this years’ stuff, still hates seeing it worn wrong even more. 😉 It may not be traditional to love the occult and be fashionable, but damnit, that’s why I am here to break the mold and buck that tradition. 😉

    A special thanks goes out to the 40+ year old woman I saw in pink flared cords who tucked them into her boots in attempt to look cool. It didn’t work, but we all appreciate the effort. In all honesty, and snarkiness aside, I love seeing people try to look chic and being comfortable wearing trends…but if you can’t do it right, please do not try. I don’t care if you are 8 or 80…you can be fashionable at any age.

    Ever snarky, but doing it with a shapely rear end (so its excusable,)

    ~Cat